Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Me-"Hey, do you know we're dreaming?"
Co-worker-"I don't have dreams. Those are for dementia type people."
Me-"Wouldn't it be fun to change bodys? I go into your body and you go into mine?"
Co-worker-"Okay, lets go to the computer. Your bonus to me..."

Unfortunatly the dream ended there!

"Where did you get that dress, it looks a little small. Unless it just 'appeared' in your closet one day which happens to me a lot."
From an old lucid, when she said "appeared" she said it with a wink, more or less implying someone buys her dresses and puts them in her closet.

"Where did my cats go...?"
"Lucy?"
"LUCY???!!"

"Stone him!
Oh, sorry guys, time is up!"

(I was on a cross, pinned, and I reasoned with the guy doing it. He let me escape.)

Originally Posted by Woodstock

"We were lucky to get Ringo to play on our album after asking him for over 50 years. He played one note. And I think I heard a mistake in there somewhere."

Waiwaiwaiwaaaiitt.... I know I've heard that somewhere before.

I met a girl in my dream, we kissed and sat down for dinner.
Then dad shows up and laughs about how much nutrition you need for breakfast.

Man to (older woman)-"I'm sorry I said your eyes look like marbles."

Different Dream:
Man-"Could you ask my son if he's allergic to oak or yellow?"
Me (to boy)-"Are you allergic to oak or yellow?"
Boy-"Yellow"
Me (to man)-"He's allegic to yellow."
Man-"Could you tell him that his momma's boss fired her?"
Me (to boy)-"Your momma's boss fired her."
Boy-"Aw, cheets!"

This quote comes from a friend, with her permission for me to add it here.
She said she saw me in a dream behind a shop counter, and I reportedly said to her: "You win a free shot of... water!"

This is actually something I would be likely to say in real life, for I am known among my friends for my abstemiousness.

I had a dream where a scientist and a mathematician got together and said they should host a class on Innovation, because they're good at it and they do it all the time.
Scientist: Quick, why could Jesus do the things he could do?
Mathematician:...because he had a lion?
Scientist: I was thinking more along the lines of a staff....
Mathematician: Yeah yeah, he had a lion staff. Two of them!

I just remembered another one while posting on another thread.

"I just thought you should know....I was born without shoulders."

My friend L after popping a cooked mouse into her mouth. "It tastes like a hotdog, only crunchier."

Me, screaming at DC of my husband: "You're mad at me because I know there are prunes in prune juice. EVERYONE KNOWS THERE ARE PRUNES IN PRUNE JUICE!!"

My lucid dream

My DC brother: your dreaming.
Me: no I'm not I'm playing mine craft!!!
DC brother: no your just dreaming you are.
Me: I don't believe you!
DC of a guy I know walks up and kisses me
Me: pleeeeeeaaaaase don't be a dream!
DC brother: your in a dream. It's 7:00. And you need to wake up!
Me: how do you know this?
DC brother: (ignoring question) I'm not real!

Ugh I guess my subconscious hates me

I remembered a dream I had last year, I dreamt I was being chased by a pink acid spitting goo monster at my grandma's house

Me: Gramma! What are we gonna do?!?
DC Gramma: I don't know!
Then she looks down at her carpet
DC Gramma: it's ok! I can tell your dreaming because this isn't my carpet!

Originally Posted by ScarlettSkye108

I remembered a dream I had last year, I dreamt I was being chased by a pink acid spitting goo monster at my grandma's house

Me: Gramma! What are we gonna do?!?
DC Gramma: I don't know!
Then she looks down at her carpet
DC Gramma: it's ok! I can tell your dreaming because this isn't my carpet!

Rofllllll I laughed out loud at that at work!

Your subconscious has an awesome sense of humor

Edit: I read it again and I'm STILL laughing

DC: I need you to do such and such.
Me: [shows them distorted hand] See, this is a dream. You don't exist.
DC: [in sad tone] Oh...

My first lucid dream that I've tried to have last night was also very strange (I got attacked by deer)...

My DC mom: I'm going to buy you a gun so deer don't attack you any more!
Me: um Mom? You relize that was just part if my dream?
My dc mom: wait you mean I'm not real?
Me: sorry...
My DC mom: ok well you know what this means...
Me: what?
My DC mom: FREE PANCAKES
THURSDAY!!!!

I was walking down a shallow river the water was roughly u to my ankles and went down to this hotel like place but with no roof and I then created dark wings on my back and as I started flying three withes asked me if I was a human or a vampire I then proceeded to blow their heads with a magnum from Battlefield 3

I was visiting an army bootcamp with a friend to buy guns in a brittish accent I asked the owner, "How much is this, 90 pounds?"holding two shotguns in my hands and he said "yeah" after paying he said "thats a lot of money and you didnt even complain" and I responded "well you cant complain all the time because if you do you will miss great things in life" I inspired myself.

PS im always impersonating a brittish accent on xbox.

As I run in a house and hold the door shut

Old woman: What are you doing here?
Me: Zombies. Do not go out there. Keep door shut.
Old woman: That door does not lock.
Me: I notice there is another door here, what is behind it?
Old woman: That is the front door.
Me: Then what is this one?
Old woman: The closet.

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt your WILD, but I need some help with the fire truck"
This happened when I wasn't lucid, and tried to WILD in a dream during lunch at school

Where did this thread disappear to? Anyway, great to have it back.

In a recent dream, I approached a shop which I assumed was Eastern European, because it was called 'Ahaha Archurest'.
I was greeted by the owner, and proceeded down an aisle full of pets for sale. Approaching a large cage which housed a big hamster, it spoke my name. I was pleased, but all the other pets I looked at said: "Fat...man."

And two more quotes I just found while churning through my dream journal today...

One featured a large castle, where someone I know was the apparent count of said castle. Since it was a rather spooky place, I asked him if he was a vampire.
He answered: "Not exactly. I'm a Type A vampire."

The other featured a violent Scotsman who had fallen into some toxic gloop, but showed absolutely no reaction to such misfortune. He climbed out to find a giant fish stuck to his legs. "Hey! Who are you?" he demanded.
"Why, I'm King Neptune," said the fishman.
The Scotsman, however, refused to believe him, and tossed him back into the sea.

I also remember visiting a supermarket in a dream last year, and saw some cakes on a shelf labelled 'Samurai Slice Cakes'.

I'm riding a bike that is acting like a horse, when a man talking to a small child suddenly stands up on a ledge and yells:

"I have NO clue where truffles come from!!"
"For a long time neither did I!"

I shouted in reply.

Originally Posted by Well now what?

a violent Scotsman

.. Is there any other kind?