Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I was lucid and I grabbed this cute girl who was walking by me and she tried to kiss me.

Me: Wait... let's just talk.
Girl: Alright.
Me: What do you want to talk about?
Girl: I like your hair head.
Me: I like your hair head too. What-

At that point she leaned into kiss me and the dream started dissipating, so I pushed her back. This usually happens when I let these things play out.

Me: Come on, we've got to keep this going....
Girl: I know, but your compliment made me a sissy, listless confluence.
Me: Well of course it did. X3 But-

She kissed me again and the dream faded away....

Me: Matt, can I talk to--
Matt: Angelo, I'm talking to someone right now! Just wait!
Me: Geez fine. I guess me be nervous about being selected for the Hunger Games isn't concerning enough to you. *Walks away*
Matt: No wait!

My friends dream:

Mexican girl says to him... "...........YOU GOT SMALL BALLS.........."

Last before last night:
A guy recommending vacation locations - talking - and you could see then some scenery, he talked about.
One was a nice lake - and he showed people sunbathing there at the shore.
Then he said - and if you happen to make holiday at the Eastern Sea - you can do the sunbathing in the forest.
Shows a picture of a meadow in a forest with sun-bathers on - and in the distance the ocean.. hm.

Me: Look its a ghost!
Random guy: No it's ok, it's just hard air

This one is from a dream my good friend Michael had awhile back that involved our friend Matt and himself.

Mike and Matt: *Walk into bank*
Matt: Are you going to make a deposit Mike?
Mike: *Stabs Matt to death*

I'm in a garden eating blueberry's, behind me is a DC and I give her some berry's. She looks horrified at her hand and shouts; You don't eat seventeenleaf, don't you know that!!

In an evil scientist's lab. I see a sign after a horrible experiment in red, saying "Hi (my name)".
Lab Assistant: "That's painted in yak butt blood."

From a lucid fragment last night, a random DC comes up to me and says:
"The president doesn't live with a good heart, but the nation only watches the monumental views he leaves behind."

In a non lucid dream

Pinkie pie: "wow! you're a transvestite?!"

I have no idea the context,
Except I was in church in my dream

Amidst intense battle scenes, a woman from a platform down below our ship gestures to me and yells a question: "Where are the pot-stickers?"

Me (while seeing the scene these words describe): "Purple bees, kissing in trees."
The first dream poem that I recall reciting .

In my last LD, I saw a DC and told him:
"next time I'm dreaming, tell me I'm dreaming!"
He says:
"No, I don't want to, I don't"
I'll show him next time I'm LDing!!!

I have a bunch:




Later, a woman with black hair was called to the main entrance door of the school by a guy who stood at it and greeted people when they came in. She got there and he said "There are four hobos outside. I need you to take care of them because otherwise they're gonna come in and download music or something." She didn't want to hurt them, she wanted to go outside and help them. She said ok and went outside to search for them. Then the movie ended and the credits started to roll. The girl came on the screen and said "I know you want to see the credits, but I did the credits the same way I do everything else at school. I copied off my teachers." Then it showed the credits for all the teachers in the movie.



It was a Dead Island dream. We were part of a large group of people. We were told to go attack another group of people so we did. We left and found them and beat them then started coming back. We saw one of the people from our base, coming out of a blue tunnel. He was scared of us and didn't want to talk to us and tried getting away. We had to attack him a bit to get him to stop running. He told us that there had been a revolt, a rebellion back at our base and everyone from the base was different now. Then he started walking away. He got a few feet away then looked back and said "Man, you do NOT want to hang out with bounty hunters. YOU DO NOT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH BOUNTY HUNTERS" and left.



Later, it showed Supergirl walking away from someone angrily. She turned around and said to a guy behind her "Do you like me or not!?"
He said "Ahh"
She said "Well?"
Then he said "You're gonna have to listen to me on this Supergirl, because this will probably be the most historic thing I'll ever say but-"
"Well???" she screamed.
It ended there.



An excerpt. A woman named Angel. I was a girl. I was narrating for a book. I said "Shadyside, has been kind to Angel. Meaning she was like an outcast with bags under her eyes. And I wish she hadn't tried to make Half Angel Food Cake because that name it just.... it just....."






I looked up and saw we were outside now. The sky had dark clouds in it to the right but it was sunny on the other side. The moon was behind some clouds on the sunny side. Suddenly lightning started flashing and we heard thunder. The girl looks at me and goes "Oh no! My skeleton!" and takes off running. I follow her. As we're running, I see bloody skeleton torsos on the ground. We reached a door but she didn't go through it, she just ran through the wall. I opened the door and kept following her. It ended there.





I saw a guy I see a lot in my dreams again. I looked at him and said "Why are you always in my dreams?" and he said "Cuz I'm the happy bo, eeky bo and lucky bo of this dream."




Chris was swimming in the levi. It was almost night so I couldn't see him very well. I think Brandon was there too. Chris said "I bet there's bodies down here. Bodies they've never found"




Eventually, a mini brown colored Kraid appeared at the end of the level. Everyone else was trying to kill it but couldn't. I ran forward and started firing missiles at it and it died. That was the trigger for the real boss, the plant boss, to come out. He came out and started swinging like he does. I couldn't hit him with anything so I ran forward, leaped at him, and triggered the suicide bomb I had. It detonated and killed me and hurt him a bit. I respawned and ran forward and did it again. This time it killed him. The girl looked at me and said "You'd better be glad that didn't destroy any of the lamps in here!" Then we went inside.





Later, we were in the gym still but we were playing a different game. There was a black ball and a black line on the floor. If one team kicked the ball and it landed on the other team's side, they'd gain a point. A black guy was there. He said "There are rules that maybe say that the ball has to be kicked on the WALL of the other team's side, but I asked the leader of their team (me) to do this, cuz you know, at 11:30, I'm gonna be executed, so you guys are gonna win either way." I picked up the ball and walked over to the middle of the floor where the line was. I put it down between me and a black girl. I was afraid that when it started, she was going to kick it right at me so I covered my ***** with my hands. It started and she kicked it and it bounced off the floor, flew near my face, then vanished. I started looking around frantically, going "Where's the ball???" A girl yelled "It's in your hairpin!" I was like "Hairpin?" and reached up and pulled the ball down. The black girl had apparently put a hairpin in my hair so it would latch onto the ball and sabotage me.





I started running towards Prather. While I was, I saw a person walking towards me. As I passed him, he said "We're in an air compressed dream" I kept running and saw a girl on a bike. She asked me something and I said "It's because we're in an air compressed dream, don't you know that?"







I was Baby Godzilla. I was around a thing that had metal things holding it up. I saw another monster coming, it was that green monster, Gabera. I hid behind one of the things and angled my tail so it was behind it too. He came up and saw me anyway though. I started running under a bridge, the ground angled down as you went farther down. I got to the end and there was a gate that I couldn't get through. I looked back and the monster had pushed his head all the way down until it filled the whole thing. It growled and told me it wanted me to steal some money for it. I said ok, not wanting to be eaten and we went back up to the top. It showed me a building where the money was and I went in it. The money was in a metal box on the wall. I got it out. It was supposed to be 50 gajillion dollars. I walked back outside and handed it to him. He took it and then asked where the nearest city was so he could spend it. I looked and saw a city a little ways away with cars and trucks driving around. I pointed to there but he said "I can't go to that one. You see how clean them cars are? It's not my kind of fun" or something. It ended there.





Later, I was riding on something with Dawn, Joseph and Marina. Dawn was Lucy now. We talked and she said something about hurting people or something. I said "Yeah, I know, not many other people know, but I know. See how Joseph and Marina's hands are? Closed and in front of them? That means they don't know, but see how my hands are? Open and not in front of me? That means I know."





I suddenly had an Army jacket on. I was in a hallway. I sat down where some other people with Army jacket's were sitting. The leader or general was at the front, he was picking people to go with him on a mission. I raised my hand because I think I wanted to go to the bathroom but he didn't acknowledge it, just kept picking more people. Eventually I put my hand down and he looked at me and said something like "Well, I don't want to send anyone out to die with a handgun, but here's a knife" and he tossed a long, sharp knife at me. I caught it with both hands in mid air, the tip was angled towards my chest. I looked at someone else in the group and went o.0 then we get up and start walking with him. We see an open door and he sends another guy out with a knife to fight, and we see the guy take a few steps out the door, then get hit by a rain of bullets, and explode. I said "Oh no, the hell with this" and took off running.





Later, I became friends with a guy and girl I had met. We had to split up though as we were going home, but I told them we'd meet up again afterwards. Later, we were all home and I found the guy sitting on something with some other people. Then I went back a little bit and found the girl. She was with some upper class people. They were drinking expensive wine. One of the women handed me a glass. I said "How much am I paying for this?" and the girl told me how much it cost. I gave the glass back to the woman. Later, I guess I became lucid because I went to order one of those drinks from a guy, he asked me for the money and I waved my hands and made it seem like I was giving him money. He believed it at first but then he got a weird look on his face and got up and went through a door. He came back and said "Show me your hair" I said "What?" and that made him realize I was fooling him. He yelled for some guards and they came. They were like human sized toy soldiers and they had styrofoam spears. I was casually ignoring them at first, then I started beating them up.





Peggy was there. She had had an increase to "Pime" or something. She didn't know how to handle the things she had to do now though. She was reading the menu of things she had to do and panicking. I said "Do you know what you're doing?" She said "Yeah" and turned the speakers off. I said "You do know you just turned the speakers off right?" She said "It's ok. We had the system set up so it's in your boot." After awhile I said "Do you want me to do it?" She said "Sure" and I took the remote and started programming it.





There was a big monster attacking a city. Everyone was running and screaming except one Asian looking guy. He didn't see the monster yet. He was acting like a tough guy. Just doing what he did every day. Samuel L. Jackson was there now. He knew the guy couldn't see the monster but he didn't know why so he walked towards him and said "Oh, you're acting all tough now, you're acting like that?" He kept walking ahead of him a little bit. There was a girl ahead of both of them. She was Asian too. She also couldn't see the monster either. Then Samuel L. Jackson stopped and grabbed both of them and turned them around and made them look up and in the direction of the monster. They saw the monster and got a really surprised look on their face and went "Oh..." Then SLJ said "You will now state your name, occupation, age and then go on Battlefield 3 and be a K/D vagina." He meant it as a way for them to calm down, like saying their name, occupation and age would take their mind off the monster. The K/D vagina part was saying don't be neurotic about their kill/ death ratio.






Then Dad came back and gave Danny the butter. Then we decided to leave and go back up the slope again. When we got back to the top I heard someone back where we had just come from say "That guy knows C.P.R." I turned to Dad and said "Do you know C.P.R?" Then I saw a visual representation of all the skills we knew. C.P.R was on his list. He said "Yeah, but only if my body's hard enough to do it."






I haven't been here in a long time so some of these may have been posted here already. Forgive me if they were x_x

Mother to kid (who was holding a fistful of drug money): "You can't have that money because it was not touched by Jesus."

In a lucid dream last night I tried to convince a DC that she was dreaming. I told her to do the nose plug RC, and I get:
"No, that reality check only works if you have a slice of cheddar cheese pressed onto your nose."

Lucid dream, encountering a female DC:

Me: "Who are you?"
Her: "Dian... Let's make the pigs!"

Tried to ask her what the pigs were but woke up saying "What pigs?" out loud in bed.

Nicole Kidman was married to a man who had an affair with a dark haired actress. The man dies and they go to a memorial service. Everyone expects them to cat fight. The dark haired woman turns into a large muscular black man who grabs Nicole Kidman by the throat, and says "Shut your mouth floozie!"

I'm turning away when I hear this and I just can't help myself.
"Actually....as someone involved in the affair, wouldn't -you- be the floozie?"
It feels incredibly ridiculous to be calling a giant black man a floozie. He turns and looks at me,
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you know, a floozie is a woman with loose morals and you're kind of the whore here, yeah?"
...everyone stares at me. I probably should have kept this insight to myself.

Just this morning, I dreamed I was watching a friend of mine repeatedly and emotionlessly gun down a hug crowd of people engaged in a Christmas celebration in a town square. As he was doing this, I sung to the tune of a popular Christmas song: "It's the most murderous time of the year..."

DC after biting into an apple: "Oh god. It hurts. Oh god. I don't feel good."
He then staggered off and vomited an enormous tower of perfectly stacked, perfectly intact sandwiches.

I laughed so hard in the dream. I don't think I ever laughed that hard in a dream before.

From Last Night's Lucid:

Me: What's your New Years resolution?
Cashier: *Steps out from counter and browses items* There are only two things I do. Radio broadcasts and New Years resolutions. I suck at both of them, even though my voice is quite majestic. *Continues rambling on for five minutes*

A non-LD last night

*walks into a fancy bed room where my brother is sleeping*
Him:"you know, I'm actually dead. Gramma Theresa killed me by locking me in this room last year!"
Me: "oh... Do you want me to, like put you to rest or something?"
Him: *shrugs*" sure why not"
I then tucked him into the bed all cozy as he evaporated

Later in the dream
DC gramma: you should go change out of your pajamas!
Me: nooooooo! You'll just kill me to!

In a different dream (also non-LD) I was on boat with my platonic friend who is a guy
Him: we should snuggle here.
Me: woah dude I only like you as a friend *was not actually sure of that in dream*
Him: it'll be fine! I'm not pedobear!
Me: *trips on his foot has pants fall down and lands on him in an... Awkward pose*
Him: hey look I've seen girl underwear!

A couple nights ago.

As we sit on the grass, I decided to try out the other basic task - I said to her, "Hey, it's night time."

She responded with, "It's not night time - IT'S PRIME TIME!"

Me: Im dreaming
Mom: What are you talking about
Me: look (starts flying)
Mom: I still dont believe you