Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I can't recall if I've posted this...

Me: What is the meaning of life?
Dog: There is none.

Originally Posted by nautilus

I had a Lord of the Rings dream last night. We were sitting around and not much was happening because everyone was watching the head orc dueling Frodo (who had temporarily turned into Harry Potter for some reason).

I got out my cell phone and called my mom.

"Hello?" my mom said.

"Um...we're going to be a little late, we got captured by orcs."

"All right." she said in a bored tone, "When will you be back?"

"Uh...well I don't know, I mean we're rather far away. We had to swim against this big wave and there was ice..."

"Really? There was ice?" mildly interested.

"Yeah, I think there was ice. Anyways, I'll call again later and let you know when we're on our way back..." Silence on the other end. I got a little annoyed. "...you know, if we survive..." More silence. I considered thinking up some dramatic last words, but decided it wasn't worth it and hung up.

Hahahaha!! That is hilarious!

Me to parents : Am I dreaming?
*Parents laugh*
dad : Have some more tea before the dog starts barking again.

I don't even have a dog....

In my dream last night, it wasn't what a DC had said, but it was on the same wavelength.

I was protecting this little girl in my dream, when we came to some toilets. These were labled 'Incest' and 'Insects'. She went through the insects door, so I suppose that was the ladies.

Later in that dream, which was like a multiplayer dungon, some other DCs that were playing turned up for the first time since the middle. Solid Snake, who was one of them, explained to the child that the reason why they weren't protecting her or trying to save her friends from a murderer was that 'We were trying to get the point bonus for opening all the doors'.

Originally Posted by wombing

in alot of these non-lucids i'm the DC that says something wierd/dumb.

I'm still laughing.

Hm, I remember that guy who after destroying half a town and fighting with me, said:
hehe, thanks, withouth that fight I would got to kill everyone in this planet, lets resurrect them!
Obiusly I was like... -.- all that just for a fight?

this morning i awoke to a nice ld,
and the ending of a non ld to this:
uncle-"why go recline at your house when I can right here. Here on the floor".
dad-"God takes care of your next two showers"

uncle/somebody laughs..


uhhhhhhh whaaaaaat is that supposed to mean haha.

Originally Posted by FatalForces

Unlikely that someone will actually read through all these pages, but oh well.

I've been reading them all over the last few days and plan on reading the rest! They're great for therapeutic laughter.

I'd definitely respond to them all if it wouldn't totally flood the thread!

-in reference to a man-like machine named "Ka" who wanted to kill me- someone was telling me, "Ka is a terrorist traitor."

Shut up, you bastard rodent!

It was a nightmare.>.<

From a dream last night -- I think we were trying to hack into a computer:
DC: "99% of male passwords are female names, because that's what males remember."

That's so true, Cerulean. Aha.

Me: You want me to come with you?
DC: Nah, it's okay.
Me: You sure? I'll come if you want me to
DC: Shurlyyyy.

I was driving a car.

"Quick! Slam on the tomato!"

I looked down, and the brake petal was a tomato.
__________________________________________________ __________

"Here's my hypothesis!" *She kicks me in the nuts* "Shut up!" *She Runs away*

Originally Posted by Vivid

A series of funny ones:

...

2.) I can't remember what this DC looked like but he said "When attempting a lucid, never take your towel off."
And I don't know why he said towel.

Maybe he read the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?

Originally Posted by Miketheman55

I was driving a car.

"Quick! Slam on the tomato!"

I looked down, and the brake petal was a tomato.

Seriously, that was funny one... OK I'll throw one in too...
I had a Non-lucid dream where my little brother ate an harpie(You know, those mythological ugly flying women). My father just had to comment it this way;
"If you ever eat an ugly woman again, i'll kill you."

I once had the most vivid dream that my girlfriend was murdered, and nobody knew wh did it. I had the most real, undeniable, total feeling of sadness I have ever experienced... it was not good. and i went to see an old woman for some reason, I just knew I had to to find out what happened to this girl. I felt like I had to find out what happened. And this Old Lady gave me this envelope, which was supposedly from this girl, before she died. It even ad my name on the front, spelled correctly (impressive feat for a dream. inside there was a peice of paper and written on it was

"Bet on who wins in the fourth quarter"
The craziest shit about this dream was that i looked away from the paper and looked back and it still said the exact same thing - didnt change at all, not even a typo. That had never happened before or since in any dream

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Another time me and my friends are cruising around florida in my car, im driving and i look up at the clock, and it says 5:24, which is about right for the light level in florida, but i rc anyway by looking away and looking back. clock says 5:50, I'm LUCID. so I don't even do anything I just start telling the people in the car about all the crazy shit I could do if I wanted. so we pull up to this house where theres a party going on, and i'm getting out of the car and my friend billy, who is clearly jealous of my godliness and kind of being a little bitch about it says "Well bring your dumb dream inside then." as hes going inside. then I say "Dumb dream? I could have a chili dog in my hand, right now. You don't want a chili dog?" He looked pretty hungry (He's a fat kid), and he said yeah, he would like a chili dog. I'm starting to find this funny so I'm like "yeah? how bout some Pizza?" laughing to myself. Then My other friend evan came out with 3 slices of pizza and was like, "we already got pizza." So I vanished his pizza and was like "what about now?" Then I flew away, chuckling to myself.

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

I can't recall if I've posted this...

Me: What is the meaning of life?
Dog: There is none.

I remember when I asked a man on a mountain what the meaning of life is? He said The meaning of life was power, to control, to put the world and everything in it underneath your foot. Then we fought to the death. He Lost.

Last night I had a dream that the remnants of a clock was being interrogated with a hammer for some reason. It would count, in a stereotypical angry-New-Yorker accent, only more angrily:
"ONE! TWO! THREE!" over and over again.
And on three this short, bearded guy would hit it with a hammer, getting really worked up because the clock wasn't telling him what he wanted. He had given up when the clock yelled enthusiastically:

"FOUR!!!!"

Then the bearded man was so angry he got up and started beating it again.

... Well, when I woke up I thought the idea of a clock angrily yelling numbers was hilarious... and sort of made sense. Haha... If it was your job to say the same 12 numbers over and over again maybe you'd be angry about it too!

I tell them I'll make a deal with them to cooperate, and turn and face the young guy. I tell him, "How about this? Tell me what I can to do improve my lucid dreaming. How can I make it better?"

"I'm just a DC, how should I know? I've never had a lucid dream."

My DCs really need to stop being so damn practical. We made a deal that he'd show up in all my dreams and remind me I was dreaming, and it happened in the next dream right after this lucid, so I'm pleased

"I like a de cheese!"

That' seriously made me bust a gut at work.

Originally Posted by Shift

I tell them I'll make a deal with them to cooperate, and turn and face the young guy. I tell him, "How about this? Tell me what I can to do improve my lucid dreaming. How can I make it better?"

"I'm just a DC, how should I know? I've never had a lucid dream."

My DCs really need to stop being so damn practical. We made a deal that he'd show up in all my dreams and remind me I was dreaming, and it happened in the next dream right after this lucid, so I'm pleased

That is awesome. Has he showed up since?

Originally Posted by Shift

and it happened in the next dream right after this lucid, so I'm pleased

He already answered that!
I'm going to try that out as soon as I get lucid..

Originally Posted by Delilah

Last night I had a dream that the remnants of a clock was being interrogated with a hammer for some reason. It would count, in a stereotypical angry-New-Yorker accent, only more angrily:
"ONE! TWO! THREE!" over and over again.
And on three this short, bearded guy would hit it with a hammer, getting really worked up because the clock wasn't telling him what he wanted. He had given up when the clock yelled enthusiastically:

"FOUR!!!!"

Then the bearded man was so angry he got up and started beating it again.

... Well, when I woke up I thought the idea of a clock angrily yelling numbers was hilarious... and sort of made sense. Haha... If it was your job to say the same 12 numbers over and over again maybe you'd be angry about it too!

i'm pissing my pants.i don't know why thats so funny but it is.

Originally Posted by Deaf Cow

He already answered that!
I'm going to try that out as soon as I get lucid..

I mean, of course, since that night.

Originally Posted by archdreamer

That is awesome. Has he showed up since?

Not yet, and I can't remember what he said his name was, so I can't summon him I also haven't gotten lucid yet! Bummer

Originally Posted by Deaf Cow

He already answered that!
I'm going to try that out as soon as I get lucid..

Well, he and this other DC apparently work for a boss DC. Neither one of the guys showed up, but the girl did right when I became lucid. Cause or effect? They haven't shown up since, though