Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

My dad: *gasp* My dentures!

(runs over to dryer and opens door promptly--starts digging through pockets and finds false teeth)

My dad: (to his dentures, as he walks out of the room) No way you're gonna get away that easily again!

Me: (quickly turns to him) You really gotta learn to check your pockets.

(I look back at dryer again and can see that the lint trap screen is missing.)

*My dad doesn't actually use those yet...

DC sex partner: "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!"

...

some kids singing a song, it went something like this: "Put your lips around it and take a bite!"
me (to self): (I wonder if they know how suggestive that is?)

I love talking to DCs. I got lucid and walked to my brother who was at the PC. He wiggles his fingers dramatically and says "This is all a Dreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaammmmmm!'

I saw the title of an instructional video called "Start your way to Gonorrhea: The oral route."

I bet THAT was a popular one!!

This happened a few weeks ago, but... I was at this café and I ran into Katya, a drag queen from RuPaul's Drag Race.

Me: Wow, you're so gorgeous! Look at your face. Your smile. AND LOOK HOW ROUND YOUR ASS IS!!!

___

I don't remember if I posted this before, but also an oldie:

Me: *running from someone/something* DAMMIT I HATE IT WHEN DREAMS DON'T MAKE SENSE!!!

A security guard sees me walking around with the stuffed dolphin I sleep with and says:

"That stuffed dolphin is not allowed-it's dangerous."

A thick, brown vapor floats off from the Harbor Freight parking lot after a dispute regarding buying a shotgun. The voice of my mom declares, "That unattended mule can drive."

Me: “Hey Siri, search for ‘small, colored bugs that swarm your bed and itch like crazy!’”
Siri: “The African Dung Beetle. Prefers dark places, like your buttcrack.”

I said to my dreamguide Bulk:" look, im having trouble with lucid dreaming, since i started training, i didnt became lucid yet."

Bulk: " keep doing what you're doing in your reality, and i'll take care of things on this side. Be patient."

I didnt got lucid.

My (university age) son walking around in the middle of the night, "waking me up," and declares to the house: "Guess who's going to Prom!?"

Heard from a DC down the street from a group that just let off a round of Katusha-like missiles: "They're heading for Dallas".

Me as I kiss a number of girls just inside the front door and make them cry (well they just sort of shrank away from me actually): "Happy New Year!"

Later on in that same house/party (that I crashed) and had finally found a private room for me & a girl who asked to go to bed with me, a DC comes in and says: "There's a guy running around where with a fake German driver's license!"

Me talking to everyone else in the computer room during a college course: “Might I suggest we go out and do some shopping? This is a dream, you know.”

(everyone stares including the teacher)

Me again: “Yes, I’m asleep.”

Dogbert the stock analyst says: "I'm good at pooping and at analyzing stocks"
Me: "Shouldn't you then be called a stock ANAL-yst?"

Narrator: "The things we experience when young determine what (sexually) excites us in adulthood"
Guy watching SpongeBob on TV: "I don't feel stimulated."

Olaf bumps into a snow-woman, then they both get bumped into by another snowman/snow-woman couple plus I think some snow-children join them shortly afterward...

Olaf: (with a gasp) I'm...married!

*I wake up shortly afterward but then choose to sleep in.***

erratically behaving, druggy man in his late 20's / early 30's: "I've been trippin' since yesterday!"
late teens druggy guy: "Yeah! Yeah!"
me (to teen trying to dissuade him from a life of drugs): "Yeah, until you start barfing blood!"
teen druggy: "Naw, man, I never go out of control. How old was your old man when he was 18?"
me: "My old man was 18 when he was 18, and never did drugs!"
teen druggy: "Ahh, he was old school!"

I'm standing next to this guy on our crowded porch during a fire drill which looked like it was taking place at my house...

Guy standing next to me: My toys...are just now taking action.

Me: (to him) My Pixar collection...is also starting to respond.

The fire alarm is immediately turned off afterwards and everyone else is going back in but the dream location changes on me almost instantly.

(Pond tour guide): "This is the home of Freddy the eel."

I once had a dream where my mother was offered a job selling noodles outside Safeway for 500 dollars an hour

Someone was talking about the expansion for a game called: “I think I’m just gonna kill you.”

News Anchor (unseen): "Residents are concerned about the release of a group of 13-year old chimps (from France?)…. <something something>, He is the man who coined the phrase 'The chimp is in the bag' "

DC: "This is the most boring commercial ever."

Me: *points at bush* "It's an amuse-bouche! I'm amused by the bush!

*Random creatures emerge from the bush as I stare at them...*

ME - ' So, our earth and us humans - how did it all come about. What's the story?'
DC - ' It's all an accident - it happened by accident.'
ME - ' What about the truth of everything ... Some teachers say they have the wisdom etc and have worked everything out?'
DC - ' No, they haven't - no one really knows'.
ME - ' So it's all an accident and no one really knows?'
DC - ' Yep.'

The DC's name is Wendy by the way

Originally Posted by Creation

Someone was talking about the expansion for a game called: “I think I’m just gonna kill you.”

I would play this game.

Spoiler for In fact, I think I already have..:

I recall that a guy past by me, then stopped and spoke in a strange language and then he jumped up and licked me in the face. He was acting like a monkey. He wanted to kiss me! It was so weird. I recall saying, "AHHH! Okey, down boy!" Apparently, if they kiss you, it means that they like you. The dream character looked like a normal human, though. excuse my grammar. My arm is in a sling, btw.