Thread: Pascal's Dream Journal

I've been really bad at updating this lately, dreams have been very sporadic, but lately I know I've had a ton of dreams of a rather religious nature, including a brief image of a mosaic of the face of Christ, and other religious symbols. They've been packed with these symbols but I've been unable so far to actually remember or make sense of them . I did remember one dream though, and I'll post that here. All of these took place on different days but I was able to remember them and so I waited a few before posting.

Here is my color key
Dream, Non-Dream, Lucid Dream,

Dream 11.0

This dream was very religious in terms of symbolism. To put it bluntly I was awaiting trial or consideration as to whether I was going to Heaven or Hell and was doing so while waiting on a grocery store line - although those there didn't prefer to refer to it as a trial, but in any case I was apparently recently dead and had some kind of appointment.

I was given a certain amount of credits to buy things in the store and did so throughout the time I was there. Ultimately though, I don't remember why I bought one thing or another, but when it was all said and done my shopping basket was covered in many small symbols. Most notable were many golden crosses and even one the size of my palm that was covered in white diamonds. Everything in the basket was made of gold, which is weird given that I typically hate the color.

When I was done I had a number that was given to me at the register, I didn't pay so much as they gave you this number and it meant something. Mine was 1.61. I didn't know whether this was good or bad, but couldn't make head or tails from it given the lady behind the counters look. She said it was good, but seemed to have an odd even worried look on her face. It made me frightened.

But as soon as I began to be afraid, I stopped myself and reminded myself that this was my big day. I knew that on Earth I wanted no one to burn in Hell and this might be my only chance to make that statement to the cosmos. I hated the idea of any human ever being destroyed in this place I'd been taught existed since childhood, now wasn't the time to be frightened, now was the time to have courage... and I really felt it wasn't boldness or arrogance, but I felt an intense amount of courage to literally face the God of the universe.

In leaving, I met some of those I had come to love on Earth, they were those I thought of with deep endearment and they noticed that I had a basket I was unaware I had. Inside were a ton of three-leaf clovers of various sizes (once again, some kind of symbolism, I can't quite place, note they weren't four leaf clovers but three leaf clovers).

They all gathered around and thought the clovers were lucky and I laughed, and having love for them, told them they they could each take any clover they wanted and only one and gave away the clovers until they were all gone. I wanted to really give them anything they desired, these were the ones I had ultimately lived, for, these were the ones I felt the strongest need to fight for. I could leave nothing to chance for those I loved now, and those I had yet to learn to love.

After this, the dream comes to an end.

Dream 12.0 (My 3rd LD since being here! Huzzah!)

The next dream I remember happened yesterday and I really wanted to record it here. I had simply gone for a walk in a strange urban environment, lots of yellow light, but nobody was around, everything was completely devoid of other people. After a short walk, I came home and noticed two things, one, I was unsure which house home was, it was like a mixture of the two places I've lived in life. Second, was that my keys were missing.

At that point, the confusion mixed and I asked myself, "am I dreaming?" which was rhetorical, apparently I knew I was dreaming. But to get a valid dream sign I decided to walk out into the yard and think fly or up. At this point, being lucid, I did just exactly that and started taking off... I wanted to get something inside the house, but couldn't get in without the key, so I laughed and apologized to my parents in my head and decided I would literally break in.

To do this, I planned on flying to the second story and breaking into the window. Unfortunately, that requires flight control and as soon as I started thinking up, I lost control and shot WAY up. I was now two houses above my house before I stopped and very lightly tapped on the throttle to get down. All of that control was making my dream blurry and being in the air I wasn't about to try and spin (spinning in air is a no-no if thinking up lightly blasts you off like a rocket!)

I remember that I tried to literally blow a hole in the side of the house by trying to give myself laser powers but once again failed. Why is it that I can fly with ease, but shooting lasers out of my hands is rather difficult? I have no clue. But it got really blurry after that and I soon fell out of the dream.

Dream 13.0

This one happened today. I remember that I had walked around the corner and found a cat sitting patiently in the distance. I have no pets where I live and have an active oxytonine addiction - I'm addicted to loving animals.

So, creeping up I was about to pounce and capture the cat and accept any biting or scratching it wanted to give me just so I could breathe the fur in it's back into my nose.

As I approached though, it scurried down and it's owner apparently was outside and told me not to do that to their cat. At this point I approached more slowly and it turns out the cat was very friendly, and then changed into a ferret and scampered around and wanted to play, even giving me a play bite. I was enjoying myself, but then the ferret transformed into my old dog Big Bear, who had just died about a month ago.

I stopped. He's already dead, I though. I then pulled back a couple of steps at the phantom image in front of me that wagged his tail and felt immense waves of sadness. Within a few moments, my entire face was covered in tears and I started walking away as fast as I could sobbing, but I couldn't actually feel the tears. I was constantly asking myself, "How can I feel such terrible sadness but can't even cry?!" I yelled it in my mind over and over again, it's a reference to the very numbing form of psychological illness that I am often left to struggle with.

In the end, when I woke up, I was quite surprised. I had neither felt terrible sadness or cried when Bear had died. It wasn't home and felt I wasn't deeply as close to him as I was to my old dogs. But in the dream, my emotions seemed to betray a deeper part of me that had still yet desired to grieve but could only be released in the dreams until something flips in reality and my emotions are willing to trust me again.