Things To Run Away From Really Fast!

[Samael]

...or Samael's Dream Journal. I believe I've already established myself as a somewhat flaky individual who spends far too much time looking for wiki articles to link to, so let's jump straight in, shall we? I love to discuss my dreams, and tear them apart to reveal their innards. This is all in fun, so please go ahead and leave a comment. I briefly considered colour coding before realizing that I had no idea how nightmares would overlap with normal, semi-lucid, and lucid states. Most of my dreams are semi-lucid anyway. Almost all of my nightmares are. A typical scene: "I'm dreaming; you can't hurt me." "Yooouuu reeeeally thiiiink sooooo?" "...you're creepy as fuck, you realize that?" What follows is usually an epic battle to the death. In its place, I have the Scariness Meter. Ratings go from 1 (flowers and rainbows and kittens) to 10 (I run out of the house and spend the rest of the night in a 24-hour fast food restaurant drinking terrible hot cocoa). Edit: Dreams are now non-lucidsemilucidlucid The Lunar God: Usually appears as an old man, doesn't seem to like me much. Tried to kill me at least once, may have accepted a truce. (00A, 19, 29, 34) Johanna: Because I can't keep Mia Wasikowska and Jayne Wisener straight. Resembles both actresses, tends to appear as a friend and ally and occasional enemy. (19, 21, 49, 58) Elaine: First showed up in June 2009. (4, 34) Lucifer: started off as the actual fallen-angel ruler of hell. Has since evolved into an entirely different character: a personification of certain aspects I admire in the story. (00B, 4, 19, 31, 35, 43, 44, 54, 62) Angel (31, 59) Batgirl/Barbara Gordon (33, 35) Batman/Bruce Wayne (26, 63) Buffy (31) Carlton Lassiter (2) Castiel (33) Dean Winchester (5, 8, 35, 39, 52) Harry Potter (8, 50) Jack O'Neill (35) Joker (34) Kate Beckett (27, 37) Linkara (64) Mac (The Dresden Files) (34) Mazikeen (62) Sam Carter (35, 42) Sam Winchester (8, 39, 52) Shawn Spencer (2, 36) Eliza Dushku (44) Jensen Ackles (27) Johnny Depp (22, 36) Misha Collins (48, 57, 62) Robert Downey Jr. (36) Ben: My brother. Bad driver. (9, 29, 32, 44, 59) Mom: Occasionally has superpowers. (9, 44, 59) Dad: Self-explanatory. (9, 59) Quickton: Nickname for the town I'm living in. Ixburg: Nickname for my hometown. Others: Halifax, Vancouver, Squamish. Bright Blue Energy (49, 59, 62) Orange Lighting (19, 27, 41) My Own Neutral/Dark Energy (44, 62) Zombies (43, 60) Walms, trying to find (46, 47, 51, 55, 60, 61) Walms, actual appearances (47) Loaf (63) MoSH (63) Serenity (63, 65) Things to Run Away From Really Fast: #00A: First Appearances. I need to get away, because something horrible is about to happen. First appearance of The Lunar God. 9. #00B: Bureaucratic Hell. My name is Lucifer, and I'm busy. 3. #1. The Other Mother. I talk to my mom about dream interpretation, but she turns out to be the monster from Coraline. 6. #2. Doomed Underwater Research Stations. As Shawn Spencer, I argue with Lassiter about how to escape from a flooding underwater station. 3. #3. High School Classmates Near Water. We're supposed to be swimming, but most of the group is just standing on the shore, crowded together in a circle. 2. #4. The Narrator. The devil, Sam, curses Sleeping Beauty with infinite will, which backfires when she's faced with a runaway princess several years later. 2. #5. Bad Fanfiction. As Dean Winchester, I try to find Sam Winchester, only to be thwarted by The Trickster in an alternate dimension. 2. #6. Mental Institutions with Lax Security. A little girl tries to save her fellow patients, but may actually be the one committing the murders. 2. #7. Allegiant Little Kids. I hang out with the Nostalgia Chick at my high school; kids throw rocks. 1. #8. Pissed Off Teachers. As Harry Potter, I participate in a dueling tournament, repeatedly humiliating Snape. Fleur is impressed. 2. #9. Family Vacations. My dad drives us through a potential horror movie. 2. #10. Homicidal Robots. As Jubilee (X-Men), I sabotage the Sentinels in a shopping mall. 2. #11. Third Person Narration. I have an extensive resume: spy, tomb raider, babysitter... 2. #12. Voices Trying To Limit Your Dream Control. Water grounds my dream-powers and I almost make it to the moon. 2. #13. Dream-Style Karate Tournaments. I almost forget my kata as I shift through one ridiculous costume after another. 3.5. #14. Restaurants With Poor Customer Service. Also, Missiles. People fire me; people fire at me. 2. #15. Hey, but I thought I was supposed to be the - Apparently, there's more than one devil. 2. #16. Mortality. I'm a spectator to a previous life, in which I fatally wound my wife trying to protect her. 8. #17. The Ninja Maid. I pose as maid service, and later blackmail an ambassador into an alliance. 2. #18. Gravity Hack. I drift up a mountain and talk to a minotaur. 1. #19. Alternate Perspective Disorientation. I'm the devil, I'm a driver, I'm an old lady, and Alice, and I'm talking to the Lunar God. 3. #20. This is Your Church on Twitter. The best way to escape the clutches of the Catholic Church? Add a twitter feed to their webpage. 3. #21. Nitwit Protagonists. My dream-avatar would like to solve the murder of her friend, who might not actually be dead yet. 3. #22. Bible Camp. I go back in time and try not to get exorcized. I also meet Johnny Depp. Kind of. 2. #23. Nitwit Protagonists Take 2. My protagonists bury the eggs of the monster they just destroyed. 3. #24. Really Mad Hostages. I've been kidnapped. I attack him with a box-cutter. 3. #25. Amestrian Conspiracies. I track down Edward Elric to warn him about a massive government conspiracy. Again. 2. #26. Teletubbies are attacking the earth. 2. #27. Skinwalkers. I'm a shapeshifter helping the police investigate my own disappearance. 2. #28. Dude, Where's My Car? I remember my license plate number. 1. #29. LG's Got a Gun. The Lunar God drops in and threatens to kill me. 4.5. #30. City-Fusions. I'm driven through Quickton-Halifax by a crazy person, and we try to find a vegetarian restaurant. 1. #31. Buffy, When You're Quite Possibly Evil Maybe. I get a bucket of holy water dumped on me. 2. #32. Unconscious Desire to Move. Again. Now. Family Reunion, a plot to save "the farm". Random lucidity. 1. #33. Familiar Places. BC tries to steal my digital photos and Castiel wants to go to Halifax. 1. #34. Failed Interrogations. Why does the Lunar God want to kill me? 3. #35. A Pirate's Life. You're trying to sell the combined forces of SG-1 and Lucifer into slavery? You should know better. 3. #36. Demon Barbers, Malfunctioning Portals. Sweeney Todd chases me and I end up on an asteroid. 3. #37. Murder Mysteries. Main character did it. 2. #38. Witch Trials. I have to try really hard to not set this DC on fire. 2. #39. Misogynists, Scientists, Doctors, Little Girls, Monsters, and Faeries. I run away from everything in the title. 2. #40. Dream Games. We keep breaking the water balloons. 1. #41. Bees. I run away from them and start jumping down stairwells. 3. #42. Girlfriends, Dead People. I hang out with a dream-girlfriend and explore a spooky little town. 2. #43. The Devil You Know. The devil helps out the survivors of the apocalypse. I get shot in the head. 2. #44. I Am Legend. I kill people. In an alternate dimension, my brother is captured by vampires and my mom has superpowers. 5. #45. Silence in the Library. The Compendium of All Human Knowledge needs a new Librarian. 2. #46. Walmart. I try to find Walms in the parking lot. 1. #47. Dream Goals. Three stories is too far to fall, and I give a pink rose to a pretty girl. 2. #48. Soylent Green. A man is fed, alive and screaming, into a meat grinder. His son watches impassively. 3.5. #49. Ghost Ship. I fight a boss battle using bright blue energy. Also, humanity isn't doing so well, post-apocalypse. 3. #50. Oh, There Goes Gravity. An elementary school, Harry Potter, and PARKOUR! 2. #51. Puddles. "Derek" thinks my teleportation abilities are lacking. 2. #52. Lady Gaga. RUN AWAY! 2. #53. Nail Polish. Do you have an appointment? 2. #54. Riddles. I confuse "sleep-deprivation induced hallucinations" with "dreams". N/A. #55. A CAT! Fragmented dreams include vampires, Star Wars, the Twin Towers, and random cat appearances. 3. #56. Climbing Classes. Buildering on high school buildings. 1. #57. Q&A. Unprofessional actor is unprofessional. 2. #58. The Heist. Johanna and I attempt to rob an art gallery, and are thwarted when a little kid kills our catgirl. 3. #59. The Hunt. Angel and I are tracked down by the Wild Hunt, led by the Faerie Queen Mab. 3.5 #60. Zombieland. Telekinesis + Zombies = Fun. 3. #61. Penguins. I realize that being chased by mutant penguins isn't nearly as scary as I think it is. 3. #62. Stray Little Devils. I try to avoid the minions/allies of another Lucifer. 2. #63. College.I run into Loaf at an art school, and I manage to shapeshift for the first time. 2. #64. Time Management. Six. Million. Pokemon. 2. #65. Choosing Sides. Two southern men argue about the American Civil War. 2. #66. The Last Unicorn. I'm an ex-unicorn version of Alice in Wonderland fleeing evil, brightly coloured birds. #67. Girls. Sex dreams followed by aimless wanderings through broken cities. #68. Welcome to the Jungle. Serenity's crew docks on a jungle planet. As Jayne, I have zany adventures. 3. #69. Something Blue. I confront a monster, something I see as pure darkness trying to infect me. Unfortunately for it, I have the same power. 6. #70. Spiral Staircases. I calmly jump into a thirty-story fall, down the center of a spiral staircase. 5. #71. The Job Site. I run through a construction site and use dark-side force powers on an innocent guard. 2. #72. Corporate Sabotage. Superpowered clones try to escape from their captors. I bring backup. Lots and lots of backup. 2. #73. Fighting Fire. I fly around happily, and fight a witch who's trying to burn down a bulletin board. 2. To be continued...

[Samael]

Dream summaries, to be continued...

[Samael]

Things To Run Away From Really Fast #1: The Other Mother Cast of Characters: Samael (me) A Cynical Young Man Surrounded by Crazies The Other Mother A Cat It's been a long night. I'm standing in a creepy, unfinished basement and a group of college student survivalists have been spouting horror movie cliches at every opportunity. "You can't touch the jelly sandwich," the de-facto leader explains. "It keeps all the other food good. Do you understand?" "Perfectly," I say cheerily. I'm stealing from Spongebob Squarepants' logic. "Makes sense." "No," he says, with a long-suffering sigh, "It really, really doesn't." He wanders away, morosely, muttering about crazy people. I briefly consider being a character that this guy is dreaming. I go looking for food. I sit in the kitchen with my mom, even if she is upset about the potted plant sitting in the corner that looks like a tiger lily and is apparently called a "papyrus". At this point, I begin to tell her about the metaphors and symbolism in our current environment. "The jellybean sandwich in the storage room is, apparently, there to keep all the other food from going bad, and the 'papyrus' is there because... you have really bad taste in fonts in real life." "In real life?" "Well, obviously this is a dream." "You think so?" "If it's not, tell me where these objects," I gesture at the flower, "Are located in your real house. Everything keeps shifting here." The woman sitting across the table from me looks down, fighting to keep a grin off her face. She starts to laugh, and then to cackle madly. Shift. I'm standing near the door and she faces me from a few feet away. Her empty eye sockets are stuffed with bandages. "Let me guess," I say, "You're my Other Mother." She doesn't reply, but steps toward me. I wind back my left hand for a punch, but I'm moving so slowly. The woman is moving in real time, and she takes another step, relaxed and confident. The punch doesn't connect. As she reaches for my throat, I desperately dig my fingers into her eye-sockets. There are teeth. Everything is going black, facial features are twisting, and the only thing I can distinguish anymore is pain. Shift. I'm sitting on a deck, petting a stray cat that's wandered into the yard. Can I wake up now? Shift. "That rice is leftover from last night. And it's in front," Oma says helpfully, as I rummage through her fridge. I blink. "Really?" I say, holding the plastic container. "You want me to eat this? Specifically?" I poke at the overabundance of soy sauce with a spoon. "I'm still dreaming, aren't I?" ... Also, I did not touch the damn sandwich. The Other Mother. Scare Factor: 6. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #2: Doomed Underwater Research Stations Cast of Characters: Shawn Spencer (me) Carlton Lassiter A Female Member of the Medical Crew The Victim The underwater station might as well be in the vacuum of space. Our oxygen generators are broken, environmental systems are failing, and lights are flickering their hearts out. At least nothing's sprung a leak. Yet. Lassiter and I are running at a full sprint down the narrow hallway, but our progress comes to a grinding halt when we reach a fork in the tunnel. Left or right? A flash of an image: I recall the unofficial layout of the station from a map I may or may not have wrangled from a drunk first mate. "I'm sensing left!" I shout over the ambient noise of the dying station. "How would you know that?" "Really, Lassie, after all this time, don't ya trust me?" A beat. "If you're leading us the wrong way, Spencer, I will kill you myself." When we get to the escape pods - because of course we're going the right way, don't insult me - there's a woman near us, kneeling over an unconscious woman with long, curly blonde hair. I don't recognize either of them, but I get the feeling that the unconscious woman might die if we don't get her out of here soon. The woman - the conscious one, we'll call her Joy - spots us and points at me, "You, in the t-shirt, I need some help here. Help me lift her into the escape pod." I hurry over to their side, and pull the unconscious blonde's left arm over my shoulders. Joy takes the right side and three - two - one - lift! Lassiter hovers over Joy's shoulder (not literally, I feel compelled to point out) in case we need help. More help. The "escape pods" are basically miniature submarines scattered throughout the station, designed for a one-way trip to the surface. They're also very small. Sparks are shooting everywhere, but I'm focused on the escape pod. "Hang on a minute," I say to Joy. The door to the pod is open, possibly jammed that way. And there's something wrong with the controls. The autopilot, maybe? "There's no way we're going to make it to the surface in that." I say. "Are there any escape pods left?" asks Lassiter. Flash. Two escape pods to the northwest, through a section that would be venting poison gas into the hallway right about now. That's the quickest route. I shake my head. "We can't make it." Joy looks at me, considering. "Not with the two of us, you mean," she nods at her friend. Lassiter and I, and Joy, even, could make it to the remaining shuttles. There's no way we could make it while dragging an unconscious woman with us. And we're not leaving her behind; we're the heroes in this story! "We're going to have to make it work." Somehow, we do. When we surface in the pod, and climb out, we're not greeted by sunlight, but what looks like a conference room with a pool. Several men in suits are staring at us expectantly. From my position, balanced on top of the pod, I hone in on the man who's in charge of this whole fiasco. He's smiling. I sigh. "I have to go down there again, don't I?" This time, it has sprung a leak. Doomed Research Stations. Scare Factor: 3. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #3: High School Classmates Near Water Cast of Characters: Samael (me) Large Group of People I Knew in High School Combined With Random DCs Person Whose Name I Saw Mentioned (Jay) I'm one person in a large group of people who have collectively decided to go swimming. When we appear at the swimming hole [that never really existed] outside of my hometown, most people stand around, looking suspiciously at the water. A guy who I remember being a grade younger than I was [whose name I saw in a journal entry yesterday] jumps straight in to the south side of the pool. I'm wearing a red lifeguard t-shirt, and one other lifeguard and myself are inspecting the north side of the pool. Some days you can swim in it, other days it's really just a puddle of stinking mud. Like today. I lose my balance when the edge of the crowd jostles me. A few titters, and I exchange words with one of the bystanders. Obviously, I'll be swimming in the clean side of the pool then, if only to clean off. The clean side has Jay using the natural rock formations on the other side as diving boards and such. I don't pay mutch attention to him. Rolling my eyes at the group that collectively won't even get in the pool, I jump into the clean water and eye the rock formations on the other side. From where I was standing, there was no way to walk across like Jay did, so I need to do some rock climbing to get to the impromptu diving board. I'm in my element when I get to the other side and pull myself out of the water. It's been a while since I got to do this [because it's very flat and boring where I'm living now]. There are plenty of easy handholds in the rock, and I work my way to the left, where I'll be able to climb up to the ledge. High School Classmates Near Water. Scare Factor: 7 because I hated high school 2 for normality, with a point for the fun of rock climbing and annoyance of public humiliation. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #4: The Narrator March 12, 2010 Cast of Characters: Damian, the thief Sam, the devil The Princess Damian is a semi-immortal thief from the "real world". While evading his current batch of pursuers, he is granted a wish from the devil, who introduces herself as Sam. After sending Damian home, for a price, She proceeds to wreak havoc at the christening of the princess, by giving her the gift of infinite will. This backfires spectacularly, when Sam (the devil) is drawn into the plight of a teenaged runaway several years later. I think it could make a very interesting series of short stories. Also, I was three separate characters during the course of this dream. I've been Damian, Sam, and The Reader of the story at various points, while reading emotions off of everyone else present. It was all very third person omniscient. Also, not the first time I've been the devil. Can you tell that I'm not religious at all? Protip: Satan is the good guy. The Narrator. Scare Factor: 2. Omniscience is so much fun.

[Keitorin]

Hi there! I just read your entries and really like the format as well as the content. Just thought I'd drop in and say that before I go to bed!

[macron12388]

Hi! It seems you and I have a lot in common: not liking to "color code" our dreams, the scary meter, the NATURE of our dreams, mine often take on a tiwstde mennar sa wllewee!!32!!> But I am fraeked out easily, and still am. But one thing that has changed is my mood towards these existancials, wether they be real or imaginary, One night I got sick and tired of being scared, I felt a burning sense of anger deep in my stomach. I am pretty sure in a dream this happened, I went epic rage on this creepy doll that had a scrwed up face and kept poping out from vines near my house(in a dream). My advice: if you find those nightmares making hideous faces at you(and I meant $h1t screwed up faces, like enough to make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end, and give you chills for weeks) make a face back, let out your fear in anger!!! D:<!!!!! I mean rage!!!! in your dream!!!!!GGGGGGGGGGGRGRGRGRGRGGGGGGRAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Realese your hatred at them!!!!!!Make yourself THEIR nightmare!!! The nightmares chasing you? Down a twisted road in infinite darkness? DONT RUN!!!!RUnning fuels the predators vise!!!! STAnd!!! NO matter how sscared you are!!! I was scared $h1tle$$$ the first time I did it. YOu are scared, but show them what you will do. Stop running!! CHASE THEM!!!!! Show them true fear!!! Cya!

[Samael]

Hi there! I just read your entries and really like the format as well as the content. Just thought I'd drop in and say that before I go to bed! Hey, thanks! It seemed like it'd be a fun thing to play with, and so far it has been. Make yourself THEIR nightmare!!! The nightmares chasing you? Down a twisted road in infinite darkness? DONT RUN!!!!RUnning fuels the predators vise!!!! STAnd!!! NO matter how sscared you are!!! I was scared $h1tle$$$ the first time I did it. YOu are scared, but show them what you will do. Stop running!! CHASE THEM!!!!! Show them true fear!!! Cya! SHOW THEM TRUE FEAR. Haha, that's awesome. Yeah, the best dreams are the ones wherein you're the scariest person in the room. Which they are, for the most part. Stop running? Are you kidding? Running is hella fun, and I usually realize at some level that I'm just a part of a story. Oddly, when I'm having a genuine nightmare, I won't be able to react at all. I don't actually consider most of these dreams (running through a flooding ship, being chased through a maze, being trapped in a space station during a zombie outbreak that I may have directly caused) to be nightmares, because I can run, and fight, and keep playing out the story. It's when the personification of death decides to stalk slooowly toward me down the stairs of my childhood home after I've heard a scream from upstairs and I can't move my feet or fight or anything... then I start to get freaked out, even when I know I'm dreaming. I'd say that one was a 9 or so on the scary meter. And yes, I did run outside, and find somewhere I could sit in bright light and drink hot chocolate until the sun comes up. --- March 13, 2010 Yes, these dreams occurred one after the other. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #5: Bad Fanfiction Um, spoilers for Supernatural 5x08. Cast of Characters: Dean Winchester (me) Bobby Singer Others I think I can state at this point that I am having a bad day. My brother, Sam, has a tendency to randomly disappear and come home possessed, but usually these trips don't involve extra-dimensional portals. Goddamnit. Also, I can't find my jacket. "So, you're absolutely sure we'll be able to get back." "For the last time, boy," Bobby says, glaring at me for asking the same question several times, "This plan is foolproof." "Right. Foolproof." I look from the frayed rope looped around my waist, tied to a wooden post on Bobby's porch, to the bright and swirly portal leading to God knows where. "Bobby, I don't doubt your excellent research capabilities, but is this really going to work?" "Do you want to find Sam or not?" This pretty much ends all discussion on the matter, and I find myself stepping through the ominous swirly lights... ...and into a bar. The first thing I notice is that guy from the fan convention drinking at the bar. The second thing I notice: he's wearing my jacket. One bar fight later - (and I have to figure out how to steal a jacket off of someone who's wearing it. In the chaos, I figure it'll be easy enough just to will it into my hands rather than work on the physical mechanics of how you would get a jacket off of someone in a fight) - I have my jacket back. Oddly, it seems a little big for me. Sam's on the other side of the room, talking to someone who I don't actually pay any attention to. I march over there, "Excuse us," and drag Sam a few feet away. "Okay, we have got to get out of here." Sam just looks amused. We continue walking over to where the portal is - I can see it, swirly pink and blue lights and all - and I walk through it. Ow. I walk straight into the wall behind it. "Oh," says Sam, looking thoughtful, "Looks like you can't get me through this way." I'm out of time; if I don't leave now I'll be trapped in this dimension as well. Away from the apocalypse and all, but still. A flicker. Sam's face seems overlaid by something. Another face, one that I recognize. I rush at him, stopped after a couple of feet, held fast to the portal. "Where's Sam?" I growl. The fake Sam just smiles and walks away, waving. "Gabriel!" I shout after him, "GABRIEL!" Everything fades out, and suddenly I'm standing back on Bobby's porch. "So, how did that go?" asks Bobby. He gets no response. "Oh well, we'll try again later." I stand dumbly on the porch as he walks away for a few moments, before - That's not Bobby. Son of a bitch. Where the hell is a wooden stake angel-killing knife archangel's sword when you need one? Bad Fanfiction. Scare Factor: 2/10. Fun for the writer, torture for the reader. And the Trickster's not too bad... as long as he's not killing you several dozen times over. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #6: Mental Institutions With Lax Security Cast of Characters: A Pre-Teen Girl in a White Nightgown (me) A Near Catatonic Five-Year-Old Security Bare feet touch to the cold linoleum one after the other, as I creep up the back stairs to the second floor. Everything is white and open and contained, but the dark creeps along with me, and the world is cast in a cold, blue pallor. The door opens before me, my feet touch scratchy carpet as I step into the bedroom. My nightgown whispers faintly in an absent breeze as I twist, taking in the contents of the room. It seems almost normal, a bed to the left of the door, foot facing me. There are stuffed animals everywhere, strewn across the room like they've been played with. They haven't been. There's a window above the bed, and I can see the balconies a floor above the lobby. I hear water running. A half-open door lets light stream into the rest of the room, and I open it, squinting against the harsh yellow of the light, of the tiles, of the linoleum. The tap is running cold water into the bathtub, and I can see my brother there, hands curled around his knees - There have been rumours, faked suicides and murder - the first thing I do is turn his wrists over to look for injuries. I sigh in relief when I see that he's fine, and I move to turn off the water. I freeze. I can feel something, in the walls. "Boom." I whisper. The boy looks up at me for the first time. I pull him up from the tub, grab a towel from above the toilet, wrap it around his shoulders. "Go to bed." I say. "Stay there." He walks toward his bed without another look back. I press one hand to the ceramic tile in the shower (shh, calm), use the other hand to turn off the water and remove the drain from the tub, drenching my sleeves as I do. Tick, tick, tick but it won't hurt him if he stays in bed, and I need to make my escape. I leave the room, taking stairs directly from the bathroom to the basement, to my own room, trekking barefoot over thin blue carpet to a room that resembles an office. I see my bed, empty, though the covers are strewn about. "Hey," says a voice from behind me. I turn around, look up, hope that he won't notice the fact that my clothes are drenched from the water. He doesn't. "We were wondering where you've been all night." I smile, and the guard moves on to continue his rounds, completely unconcerned about the little girl who was committed here long before he ever got the job. After all, I never did mention who the murderer was. Well meaning though I might have been. Mental Institutions With Lax Security. Scare Factor: 2/10 for worrying over the girl's brother. I was never concerned for my own safety. I wonder when that bomb is set to explode?

[Samael]

Things to Run Away From Really Fast #7: Allegiant Little Kids Cast of Characters: Ixburg (fake name, real hometown) A Short-Haired Blond/Blonde (me) The Nostalgia Chick (Lindsay) Various Friends/Bar Patrons A Teacher With an Afro Little Kids I'm browsing the forums here, thinking about dreams. Then there's something about the library here. Which reminds me, I need to return an overdue book. I walk into a bar, where, apparently, Lindsay is bartending. I order a drink, and end up sitting down with her and a few friends while they eat supper. We talk about the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and discuss parts of it that probably didn't exist in real life. You know that one girl, who really didn't want to go to the Brown's house for Christmas Dinner but would rather have gone to New York for a Broadway show? Yeah? Why couldn't she have done that? That would have been cool. There's four or five of us, and we start walking. Shift. We're in a playground. I look around, trying to place it. "Aw, man." I say, "We're in Ixburg! Quick, someone think of somewhere nicer." A couple people glance back at me, bemused. I give up and strike up a conversation with one of the girls, who has red-brown hair, a ponytail, and glasses. I try to ask her name, but she says it so fast I can't understand it. I ask again and try to repeat it back to her. One of the other girls laughs and tells her to stop teasing me. We're still standing outside the school at this oint, and a teacher comes out to yell at hus. "Ixburg sucks!" I shout, assuming there's a game going on right now. Little kids come out and throw rocks at us. We take shelter in a non-existant frame of a shed just outside school grounds. "So," I say to Lindsay, "Next time, you pick the setting." Allegiant Little Kids. Scare Factor: 1/10 for banality.

[Samael]

Things to Run Away From Really Fast #8: Pissed Off Teachers or People to Deliberately Annoy Even More than You Already Have Just By Existing: Pissed Off Teachers I'm taking a course that requires all the participants to stay together in a hotel room for some reason. We pool all our food together to come up with a really weird breakfast. A can of brown beans are involved. Which are vegetarian. Shift. I'm staying in a hotel in a city where one of my friends from high school - Miranda - lives. I spot her, and we hang out for a while. One of those drivable carts and a supermarket are involved. Shift This is a duel between an approximately 20-year-old Harry Potter and one Professor Severus Snape. I smirk. This is going to be fun. I'm approaching the tournament as if it's a video game, wearing down my opponents with a barrage of spells, exhausting them. Then I'll disarm them with an expelliarmus. "Expelliarmus!" I shout, aiming at Snape. He shields easily, smirking at my incompetence. There's going to be a lot of smirking going on in this match. "Sectumsempra!" I call out before he has a chance to get a spell off. A scythe of dark energy slices toward him. There, that one wasn't so easy to block. I'm going to have trouble remembering spells for this dream, I realize. We circle each other, I mostly dodging the spells that he sends at me. Until he's standing with his back to a seemingly bottomless pit, facing me warily. Bad, bad move. I shout two random words to cover what I'm doing, forcing a wave of kinetic energy towards Snape, who is pushed off the edge, and if that's from the wrong movie, I'm sure no one will ever notice. The boundary spells will catch him. Probably. (I'm proven right when he's yelling, a few minutes later, that he will triumph in the end, and will beat me in one of the upper levels of the tournament. At least he's confident that I'll get that far.) New match. A kid - a young Crabbe from the movies, I think - is attempting to creep silently through a poorly-lit arena, stirring up dust as he goes. I think he has an allergy, because suddenly he has to sneeze, and he can't help it - he sneezes, the sound echoing loudly through the darkness. My third person POV catches the horrified look on his face as it zooms back to another room, where Snape is creeping along more successfully. Snape hears the sneeze, turns quickly to where the sound is coming from and moves hurriedly toward the other room, ready to sneak up behind Crabbe and take him by surprise - Expelliarmus. Snape's wand is sent flying out of his hand by my spell, and I catch it out of the air. I smile brightly and wave, and Snape is positively fuming while he's pulled out of the game. Crabbe is expecting me, though, and our disarming spells are shouted at exactly the same time, resulting in a brief wave of energy that has both of us stumbling back. I recover first, and launch myself at him, scrambling for the wand. I catch it by the tip, and pull it with me as I roll past him, but the wand is about as strong as tumbleweed, and doesn't even make a decent snap as it breaks cleanly in half. The kid is staring at his remaining half in horrified fascination. "Ouch," I wince sympathetically, "And this is the world where no other wand is going to work for you as well as the first one." Crabbe looks crestfallen. "Oh well. I win, right?" I guess the answer is yes, because the next thing I'm aware of is stumbling through a bar after a round of celebratory shots. I sit down at a table. "May we join you?" I'm reintroduced to Fleur Delacour, who I met a few years ago, as well as a pretty brunette with curly hair whose name I don't remember. I flirt shamelessly with both of them, and we have what I'm sure is an incredibly deep and nuanced conversation. I'm still in the bar when I realize, abruptly, that I'm dreaming, for no real reason whatsoever. It's not so much that everything comes into focus, but that my awareness expands exponentially, and for those few seconds, I feel fucking awesome. I'm exploring the boundaries of the dream, looking for possibilities. Then the brunette invites me to dinner, and I decide that here is fine. We're sitting together on a couch, eating what I'm certain are some very expensive appetizers. She mentions that they'll be leaving to China shortly, for a business meeting, but we'll have to meet up again. Shift. I'm in a theatre, watching a movie along with, I think, my family. Water is pouring from a shower-head on the ceiling for some reason. I'm sure there was a very good reason for that, having to do with the toddler who has latched onto me as a babysitter. Shift. I'm in Halifax. Yay, I love Halifax! I'm along with my younger-than-they-are-in-real-life cousins and my brother. We decide that the most efficient way to get back to our hotel with all our luggage is to take a kayak back there. ... So we rent a kayak from MEC, and paddle across the harbour with it. The geography has changed immensely, and I don't seem to be deathly afraid of the water. Seriously, you don't want to go anywhere near the Halifax harbour water. But I am concerned when it splashes all over my backpack, which holds my laptop, which is still on. I open it up, pop the battery out, and don't bother to wonder where all of my cousins are. We get back to the hotel, where everything gets a little fuzzy. I think I'm either Sam or Dean Winchester at one point, having an argument with whichever one of the brothers I'm not. But I have to return the kayak, so I bring it back to the dock, and then I'm at the hotel, but I realize I have to bring it to the store, so I convince someone who looks a lot like Alan Rickman into bringing it back to the store for us, please. And then I spend the rest of the dream wandering around Halifax and making up parks that don't exist. Pissed Off Teachers. Scare Factor: 2/10, but only for the first two dreams that were really feverish and hallucinatory.

[Samael]

Obviously, I've been watching too much Supernatural. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #27: Skinwalkers. I've somehow been entered into a race that involves hopping on one foot and a flutter-board. I argue that 5K is a long way to hop on one foot. idek. I'm crowded into the entrance of a bar. I think these are people that my brother knows. I notice that one guy is acting suspicious, so I follow him outside and onto the roof. I find him threatening another man with a knife. You know that little voice people have that tells them to quit when they're ahead? You don't have one! "Hey!" I call, stepping out of the shadows. Both men turn to look at me, one still brandishing his knife. "Hey, calm down," I say, hoping that I don't sound patronizing, "There's no need for that, right? Put the knife down, and we can talk." We circle each other, and I'm moving closer with every step to the side. The third man moves away, more or less forgotten. The man with the knife focuses all his attention on me. He's not going to listen. I step in without warning, grab the wrist holding the knife and twist. He doesn't drop the knife, but I have a hand on it, and suddenly I can see all the outcomes of the fight at once, blood spraying everywhere. Mostly his. I'm sitting back in the bar with a group of people that I know. I'm invisible part of the time, so I play with the DCs a bit, asking them what they're seeing as they look at me. One replies that she can see the skull of my grandmother's rotting corpse, covered in maggots. I decide that this game isn't fun anymore. The police are all over the bar, trying to figure out what happened. The patrons are willfully ignoring them. I'm glad that I'm wearing black, because at least you can't see the bloodstains. I look down at my grey shirt, covered in blood. No, I was wearing black the whole time, I convince the dream. I get back into the story by willing myself into a different form. I decide to shift into a guy, because that's an unlikely disguise. Hey, I can be Jensen Ackles! Yay! I'm him a lot. Why? I consider changing eye/hair color so I don't look like an actor, but I decide that he doesn't actually exist in this universe and go talk to the cops. Because it's... fun, or something. There's a female detective on the roof, speculating about what happened. I see these speculations in flashbacks. The girl (me) made a grab for the knife, she says, and cut her attacker, injuring him. Then he killed her, and disposed of the body somewhere. Not nearly this cool. I'm somewhat insulted, actually, but it helps me put the pieces together. I must have won the fight. Since the man with the knife is missing, I probably accidentally killed him and disposed of the body somewhere. Wow, do they have it backwards. Nobody wonders where the third man went. They're talking about fingerprints, so I decide this would be a good time to change mine. I will the change, and zoom back into watching an onscreen sequence of the patterns changing. Skinwalkers are the bad guys, right? I wonder on the irony of shifting into Dean Winchester as a shapeshifter. Am I evil right now? Maaaybe. I converse with the suspicious detective who probably suspects me for something. I swing around the wire fences on the rooftops for a bit, before coming back to the ground where the detective is waiting on a park bench. Apparently we had a long, in-depth conversation that I can't remember, because she actually trusts me a bit now. Yay, we're friends. Or possible love-interests. Hm. The detective is wondering if I'll be okay to get home by myself, being as it's after dark in a city infested by the supernatural. I assure her that I'll be fine (being as I'm one of the supernatural monsters everyone seems to be afraid of). I check the area, zooming out to the east, where I'm headed. Dark alleys lit by an orange glow. I zoom out to the west, only to find a pack of Dark Jedi closing in on us, jumping around as NPCs do in Jedi Academy. I spot a couple of green and blue lightsabers among all the red, mostly carried by those wielding dual lightsabers. "We should go," I say, still tracking the pack remotely. "We should go now." I'm more concerned about the detective than myself. I heal fast. We walk eastwards away from the group, hoping that we won't bait them if we don't run away. They catch up to us. Immediately, I draw dual sabers in red and blue, slashing down the first two Dark Jedi to reach us. I take down another, still standing protectively in front of the detective. I rush out past a female Dark Jedi, striking her in the back before she can turn. Finally, there are two left. I face the leader and send one of my sabers flying at his remaining minion. She's down. I rush the leader with a flurry of strikes. No effect. I pause in my offensive. "Okay," I tell him, "That was at least three direct strikes to your neck, minimum. You should be dead." He just grins. A blow to the arm, and I have him disarmed. I grab him by the hair and slash across his neck. "Are. You. Dead. Yet?" I ask the disembodied head. That would be a yes. Also, fail for lack of gore. I'm covered in blood, so I figure now is a good time for a tactical retreat. We make it to the Best Western where I've made a reservation. I figure we have a half hour to shower and make ourselves presentable (read: not covered in blood) before the antagonists start to come after us. "I'd offer 'ladies first'", but I'm the one who looks like a walking horror movie right now." Unfortunately, I'm really bad with numbers when I'm dreaming, so we end up wandering the halls looking for the hotel room. Which is on the third floor. No, the first. No, the second. Wait, are we in a hostel? Skinwalkers. Scare Factor: 2. Reaction: Violence is fun.

[Samael]

Things to Run Away From Really Fast #28: Dude, Where's My Car? I'm wandering around a casino parking lot, looking for my car. Two other people are there, one of whom I met at a first aid course a couple weeks ago. The other one might be my friend Miranda. I think I spot my car, but it turns out it belongs to Mel, the first aid girl. It looks remarkably similar to my car until I realize that the plates don't match. My plates are --- ---, I remember with perfect clarity. Also, she parked rather crazily, and apparently I consider myself the better driver. We then find my dad's car close by. Maybe I drove this one? No. Making out with a girl in a bathroom. Having a conversation on another forum about whether I can be considered bisexual if I'm pansexual. Um... yes. Dude, Where's My Car? Scare Factor: 1. Reaction: There goes a dream-sign.

[Samael]

I had all these grand plans for lucidity, but when you're relying on DILDs, plans don't always work out so well. I have a plan to call LG to talk to him, using the gold bullets that he left with my dream-self in "LG's Got a Gun". McAnally's is a fictional bar in Chicago that magical beings often use for meetings because it's considered neutral ground. I hope to meet with him there because it's a relatively safe place. Also "the Lunar God" character might be interfering with my travel to the moon. Dream stories are fun. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #30: City-Fusions I'm walking around a version of the grocery store in Ixburg which I've seen before. Produce by the entrance to the southwest, ceiling-high shelving running east-west all through the store like a warehouse. I'm looking for strawberries. Still in the grocery store, I'm now a different character. I'm an employee and also some kid genius version of myself from an alternate timeline that I can't recall the gender of. I help someone with a difficult problem. They try to complement me, but I tell them, "Hey, I just work in a grocery store." I don't and never have in real life. Now I'm in a strange mix of Halifax and Quickton, where the rivers cross through the city, forcing roads to follow bridges and riverbanks. It's topsy-turvy, and hilly, and it's a bright, sunny day. Various members of my family, including aunts and uncles, are waiting on the patio section of a restaurant, looking at menus and hoping someone will get around to serving us eventually. I'm looking at the menu, unable to find anything that's vegetarian, but the menu itself is really hard to decipher. A waitress shows up to say we're supposed to be ordering right now, but they're really busy, so is it all right if we just wait a bit? My mom, another woman (possibly Sandra, my mom's friend), and myself go to check out another restaurant. When we get there, we notice that our other group hasn't been served yet, either. It's a lose/lose situation, I guess. Sandra is driving. We cross a bridge and are headed downward on a slight slope when, from the passenger seat, I notice a truck heading toward us has suddenly flipped into the air without warning. "Whoa." is the collective consensus. Sandra hasn't slowed down and I call her on it. The truck is still flipping, and it's starting to roll into our lane. As we get closer, the truck flips up into the air again, and we zoom safely underneath. "Nice timing!" I say to Sandra. I'm still in the Halifax/Quickton hybrid, zooming across the city at a bird's eye view. I think about karate classes once a week, and the fact that I keep moving from city to city, changing up disciplines and instructors. I'm a martial artist, I think to myself, I need to take my training into my own hands. A flash of me running down a dirt trail. City-Fusions. Scare Factor: 1. Reaction: I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #31: Buffy, When You're Quite Possibly Evil, Maybe. I am, once again, my female Lucifer character, where I introduce myself to people as Sam. I'm following a version of the character in which I'm sent from place to place through dimensional portals. I open the portals myself, but I have no idea where they lead to when I step through. I don't remember most of this dream, which is a shame, because it was fun. I think. I've secured myself an invite into the apartment. I don't need it; it's just polite. I open up the window and step inside and - splash - find myself doused in holy water. It has no effect, of course. Buffy is very suspicious of me, for good reason, I suppose. I'm not actually an antagonist to her and Angel, though. This time. Buffy, When You're Quite Possibly Evil, Maybe. Scare Factor: 2. Reaction: I really wish I could remember more of this. Edited for redundancy.

[Samael]

Has anyone else noticed how being (really, really, really) drunk can feel like dreaming? RC, RC, RC. Anyway, the following dreams are so fragmented I have no idea where each one ends or the order in which they occurred. Things To Run Away From Really Fast #32: Unconscious Desires to Move to a New City. Again. Now. I'm checking out a gym in the new city I've apparently moved to. It's based in a university/college/high school, and membership is affordable. A group of (mostly female) students are being led around by their female teacher. Some of the girls need to use the bathroom, so the group is collectively looking for one. They're in subway tunnels now, and the teacher is talking to a bouncer outside some kind of establishment, who won't let them in because they're women or minors or both. I'm talking to my brother, Ben, at some kind of family gathering on a farm, when he starts quoting The Spoony One verbatim while we're talking about a game. Movie. Book. IDEK. Anyway, I call him on it, but he has no idea what I'm talking about. My cousin Reg, who's the same age as my brother, says he got to see a screening of that once. They're online videos, I tell him. What the hell. We're trying to watch The Daily Show, but Ben tells me that we can't watch the episode because it's only on the US version of the site. I explain to him how you can use an add-on for Firefox to - ahem. Never mind. Running up the stairs at the farm. Someone explains to me that the farm is in danger and we have this plot going on to save it. Jill rolls her eyes and tells me to run because I'll never hear the end of it. "I'm dreaming." I realize at some point. I blink in surprise. "How am I lucid?" I wasn't planning on having any lucid dreams tonight. I'm going for a quick meal in Tim Hortons, trying to decipher the menu and remember what I can eat. I really want some chicken noodle soup, but I can't eat it since I'm vegetarian. I could get a bagel, but I don't really want a bagel. When I step outside again, I continue with my dream. Apparently I'm a student in some Squamish/Halifax hybrid. There are mountains in the not-so-far-away distance, and one in particular is relevant to the plot. So are the houses I'm biking towards. Unconscious Desires to Move to a New City. Again. Now. Scare Factor: 1. I'm debating on whether to count this under monthly lucid dream totals. On the one hand, most definitely lucid. On the other, very short, with little to no influence exerted on the dream. That I can remember, anyway.

[scottyo]

Has anyone else noticed how being (really, really, really) drunk can feel like dreaming? RC, RC, RC. that's what I said just two nights ago! i was only buzzed and we were watching a movie and I told my buddy "I'm watching this movie but it feels like im actually not." he understood me luckily because he's a dreamer here too. anyways very interesting style of DJ. i skimmed through some of the dreams and they're very interesting.

[Samael]

"I'm watching this movie but it feels like im actually not." he understood me luckily because he's a dreamer here too. Haha, I may have mumbled something to that effect the other night, but the people with me were most definitely not deliberate dreamers. Right over their heads. Of course, it's entirely possible that I was just making no sense whatsoever. anyways very interesting style of DJ. i skimmed through some of the dreams and they're very interesting. Thanks! I'm having fun with it.

[Samael]

I woke up not remembering any of my dreams. Fortunately, I had enough time to reflect on the one thing I did remember: doing laundry. Because it's laundry day. Also, I had a bunch of dreams in imaginary places that I can remember from other dreams. I think. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #33: Familiar Places I take out the one item of clothing in the washing machine that was, apparently, very important to wash separately. I throw in the rest of the clothes, consider using oxyclean, and wash on hot. When I go upstairs, I'm in my old apartment in Ixburg. The dishwasher is in front of the sink, so apparently I'm doing dishes as well. *** I enter the building through the only set of doors that are open. Apparently it's not the entrance I'm supposed to use, though. I talk to a middle-aged woman with short red hair, who tells me off and gives me directions. I head past the stairs and onto a set of escalators. Presumably, these will take me to the elevators. I need to use the elevator because this is a really tall building that I've dreamed about before. Something about an orchestra. *** I'm dreaming about university classes. A photo of me working on the project outside. There's a rack of clothing in the background, sitting just outside of the open door of a store. High quality clothes, a lot of black. All very feminine, though. I think I need to talk to my professor about something related to the project. *** We're going on an impromptu trip, just because. Also, a national/provincial park in BC (which was also in another dream, which involved running and rock climbing) demands that we return the photos we took there. I tell my mom to make copies and send them, but to keep the originals. I'll take down the ones that I (did not) post to my online dream journal. The photos look remarkably similar to the ones I took in Squamish. You will never take my pictures away. I will not allow it. We were planning to go north to go skiing, but Castiel wants to go east because he's never been. We think we might not have time to get anywhere interesting on this road trip, but we go anyway. (I think we split into two groups. One goes west, one goes east.) We're in Halifax. I'm thrilled, pointing out all of the imaginary landmarks that I see. My mom is driving through a strange version of downtown Halifax where all of the buildings are even closer together and the streets lead into each other in ways that they don't in real life. Also, running on the rooftops in dream!Halifax would be delightful. There's a detour to my old apartment. We stop in to see my building manager. My mom wants to talk to him about something specific, but I'm just there to say hi, I guess. He now has a fancy glass office where the elevators used to be. He's talking on the phone right now, so I distract myself while we wait. I overhear my mom talking about/pointing at camping equipment. I ask if we're going camping because that would be awesome but what are we going to use because we packed really light? I have a bookbag worth of clothes that might actually be carried in Amelia Pond's suitcase from the Eleventh Hour. Which is small. I walk in to a huge tent that apparently has some of my old stuff in it. I don't recognize any of it, but rationalize that something mundane and forgettable, like the broom in the corner, could very well be mine. When I walk out of the tent, my high school classmates are sitting on the lawn, drinking. Someone pours me a rum and coke. Matt regales me with a "when I was a bartender" story and teases me about the hangover I had yesterday. I'm a bit defensive, saying that I did pretty well for someone who rarely drinks. I walk into an apartment on the first floor, waving to my old classmates as I go. I press along the wall near the thermostat, and a second room opens. I guess that this is a bedroom I left here. I set down my mini-suitcase, somewhat glad that I still have (outdoorsy) clothes here. Oh, and apparently I'm Batgirl. *** This dream occurs frame by frame, manga style. Most of it is even in black and white. Ed is singing into a tape recorder about alchemy. There may even be text balloons. A caption says that alchemists are obsessed, and don't think of anything other than alchemy, ever. Alphonse wanders through, still armor, and wants to know what the hell is going on. Ed happily explains that he's recording a tape for their recently discovered grandmother. Alphonse is understandably disturbed. Familiar Places. Scare Factor: 1. Reaction: I'm sure I've seen those places before.

[scottyo]

frick I had my first freaky dream in a long time last night. first one since joining DV and I think me reading your scary dreams provoked them. not to make you feel bad, just thought you'd think it was interesting.

[Samael]

That's too bad, scottyo. I hope they were at least fun, adventure filled freaky dreams, though that might be overly optimistic, huh? I guess I'll get to read about it at the end of the week, yeah? We can bounce nightmares back and forth.

[scottyo]

I guess I'll get to read about it at the end of the week, yeah? We can bounce nightmares back and forth. yeah i guess you figured out that i post at the end of the week all at once.

[Samael]

Mostly fragments these last few days. I haven't been sleeping well. Also, I've dyed my hair dark brown. Dreams seem to take a while to catch up on these things. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #35: A Pirate's Life. Below deck, on this particular pirate ship, there is a structure made with cooked spaghetti. We're sitting around it in a circle, making fun of Dean Winchester as he tries to add noodles to the structure, Jenga-style. He loses balance and half the structure collapses around him. The group laughs uproariously, and it's the next guy's turn. I'm standing on deck, looking out over the water. Apparently we're being sold into slavery. Those of us in this very special group are making some very necessary escape plans. "Have you ever been to [Modern Tortuga Expy]?" Asks Jack O'Neill from beside me. I'm a short-haired blonde, badass and immortal, and I've been everywhere, man. "I'm familiar with the area," I say, and pause, considering. "I hope they've forgotten about me." Now that we're on shore, we can put those plans into motion. We just need to make some tiny adjustments to fit the current situation. I'm standing next to our packed-together bunk-beds with O'Neill. All we need to do is lure one of the guards close enough... A jaffa guard approaches us, demanding to know why we're breaking curfew. I look at O'Neill, shrug. "No time like the present." We escape. Shift. I wander the same environment in my real life persona, trying to remember where I parked, and if it was in a tow-away zone. Several days have passed. Shift. I decide to go to one city or another. Calgary? I'm driving badly, wondering belatedly why I'm cutting so many people off. I end up walking into a store that I'm apparently the manager of. I watch someone in another store across the mallway play the guitar. I pull out an electric guitar from my stuff, even though I cannot play the guitar. Shift. I'm in Quickton, riding a bicycle and absently wondering why there are so many hills. I talk to a DC, a woman I apparently don't like very much, and retroactively acquire memories of whatever it is she's talking about. Shift. I'm on a farm for yet another family reunion. I'm pushing a steak around on my plate, mildly discomfited to realize that I've already been eating it. I decide to finish it anyway and ignore anything the anti-vegetarians around me decide to say. There's a woman with long, dark hair sitting beside me. She seems uncomfortable with all the religious proselytizing going on. I assure her that most of the godless heathens in the family (myself included) have already eaten. Shift. Playing with a dog. Shift. I'm to play the bad guy in some game. I adopt an atrocious English accent and hope the one English woman running around somewhere won't be too offended. Shift. I'm a female lawyer with an English accent, long dark hair, and a crisp grey pantsuit. I'm also very good at what I do. Also, evil. Shift. I'm jumping through impossible puzzles suspended over darkness. I'm communicating with someone via radio. I drop the rope. I jump down a couple levels, only to find it all tangled up. I'm presently annoyed by all that is paranormal, so I use a magic trick to cause the rope to "magically" raise itself to the next level. It involves wire. Shift. I'm standing in front of a magic shop. Shift. I'm in a mall. As Barbara Gordon, I talk to a cannibalistic hyena man. I'm replacing my right arm with something, and the hyena man tells me that they've ripped my arm off (before I jumped into the character) to make me more appetizing. I leave. A Pirate's Life. Scare Factor: 3.

[Samael]

Things to Run Away From Really Fast #36: Demon Barbers, Malfunctioning Portals. Two characters are around my old apartment in Ixburg. They look like Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr.. I play with story lines and wonder what's about to happen. Then I'm running over rooftops and away from Sweeney Todd. I'm on the roof and he's on the ground. I double back quickly, jumping down and landing a flying kick to his head. Then I turn around and keep running. I'm in a playground, on top of one of the structures. There's a man with me. He has the head of an eagle, and wings. He tells me that something is out of alignment within me, that my back hurts because of it. I see tattoos dancing across skin as he presses into the pressure points on my back. I see his wings spread out above, and ask if I can touch them. He tells me not to. I decide I liked the old tower better, even if it was less accessible. I crawl in through the window and realize that someone is lying on the floor. I ask him if he has a pulse. He says that he doesn't. I fall into an ocean of black water. I swim to the surface, take a breath. I'm treading water for only a moment before I'm pulled under again. Everything is fuzzy, but I keep breathing, and I realize that I'm dreaming. I swim to the bottom, covered in dark grey silt, and maybe a shipwreck or two. I concentrate on dissolving the dream or opening a portal or maybe both I'm balanced precariously on the dark surface, which is riddled with craters. Briefly, I believe that I've made it to the moon, but I see the crescent moon on the horizon. I think that I'm on an asteroid between the Earth and the moon. I walk over the crest of the asteroid (10m in diametre), and look out at the moon. I'm perched at the top of a crater. I'm pressed against the ceiling, and everything is going dark. I'm in Ixburg. My parent's house is next to my oma's house as part of a duplex. The door is unlocked. I talk to my oma and am invited in. We make room for the group of Katimavik kids that are in town. Outside fighting against some kind of non-human enemy. My character isn't supposed to have superpowers, but I do anyway. I see myself flying from a third person POV. Demon Barbers, Malfunctioning Portals. Scare Factor: 3. P.S. Obviously, I'm still alive. So much for prophecy.

[Samael]

This dream was confusing. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #37: Murder Mysteries I'm walking along a path by the river in Quickton. There are a large number of orangutan/dog/otter hybrids about, and the locals have been warned to stay away from them. One that looks like a great dane approaches me and jumps up, trying to lick at my face. I laugh. Shift. I practically fall out of the truck when we reach the police station. "It's okay", says Kate Beckett, "You're safe here." My POV switches to Beckett, who's trying to solve the mystery of the invisible animalistic murderer. I'm now interacting with myself ("Sam") as the character Kate Beckett. I note that we don't have much ammo. An Asian woman stumbles toward the safety of the police station. Already, she's bleeding from numerous slashes to her torso, which look almost like claw marks. The monster must have followed us here. Sam mysteriously disappears, and we assume the worst. I interrogate people who are the collective head of an international company. Someone sabotages the elevator, almost killing one of them. They upgrade security. The elevator is sabotaged again. I almost catch the culprit, but I have to stay in order to save the people inside. I catch the chain of the machine used for sabotage, and pull it up to a floor where they'll be able to get out. The Chairman of the company is killed. The CEO chooses to reveal his identity. The murderer decides to talk to me. It's Sam, complete with all my lucid superpowers. Apparently, I was the murderer all along. I'm watching myself give a villainous monologue. From a third person perspective apart from Beckett's character, I'm very surprised. Murder Mysteries. Scare Factor: 2. Reaction: Did not see that coming. I'm working on a short-story adaptation of this dream, minus the identity confusion. It was actually a lot of fun.

[Samael]

Non-lucidSemi-LucidLucid I concocted a plan to confront LG, utilizing the golden bullets he left me. This is the plan: Note: this is not a dream. I'm standing by the Bar in McAnally's, the pub in Dresdenverse Chicago. The building is established neutral ground, and the place is specifically designed to break up magical energies. Its design is broken up into odd nooks and crannies perfect for a dream walk. I order two beer from Mac and take them, handing Mac a twenty with my right hand as I hold the other two in my left. I thank him and make my way to a nearby table. I set down the beers. I reach into the right pocket of my jeans, where I put the golden bullets LG had threatened me with. I place them on the table in front of me and look up at the ceiling while sipping on my beer. It tastes like I imagine butterbeer would: rich and sweet. Inexplicable. "You really expect me to drink this?" I open my eyes to find the Lunar God eying me skeptically. I relax and take another sip. "I would have ordered a bottle of Pinot Gris again, but I'm really not in the mood for champagne." The Lunar God leans forward over the table. "Sam." He says, "No games. What do you want?" I'm wary of him. "I want to know who you are." He leans back in his chair, satisfied. I watch the smirk form on his face and settle in for a round of bargaining. I don't forget that those little golden bullets on the table have been used to try to claim my life. This is the result. Things to Run Away From Really Fast #34: Failed Interrogations I'm with the Joker in an armoured truck in a scene eerily reminiscent of Fight Club. Now, what could that mean? You're just a freak, like me! I'm following two characters and a potential horror movie from a third person point of view. At one point, I accidentally possess one of the characters and take some time off from the plot to... dye my hair. So yeah. Same location. I'm waiting for my karate class to start. I check my watch, and it's 6:90PM. I guess I'm late. No, wait, this is a dream sign. I look around, confused, because this doesn't really feel like a dream. I pay more attention to my surroundings, and realize that it actually is a dream. I stop to savour the amazing feeling of being lucid. "I'm dreaming," I say, and I start to repeat it to myself as I move around the dream-world. I'm not feeling very well, so I go to grab something from the fridge (in a place I've never been). I'm craving rasberries. When I open the fridge door, I find clear Yop yogurt containers filled with frozen rasberries. I eat a few. I'm moving toward the exit when Ben stops me and wants me to listen to a song. It's rap music. I'm not interested, and there was something I wanted to do tonight, so I'm busy. A brief wrestling match with my brother ensues, but I shake him off and run to the exit. A steel staircase leads to a latched window. I will the window to be open. I crawl out and latch it behind me. I remember that I wanted to go to McAnally's to meet with the Lunar God character. I stretch a hand out in front of me and will the dream to dissolve. I close my eyes briefly, but when I open them, the green grass and concrete and sun are still there. Energy continues to swirl around me. I close my eyes again, and push through the dream-fabric. When I open my eyes again, I can't see anything. Everything is dark, though coloured energy swirls through the space to break up the monotony. There seems to be a slight tear in the dream, so I move toward it (zooming closer, not walking). I drop to my knees and feel for the wooden door that I'm sure should be there. I imagine the texture, feel for iron handles of the closed door. I visualize the grain of the wood that should be there, the glass that is set into it. "Open the door," says Mac, rolling his eyes. "We keep them open while we're open." I stand up and dust myself off, looking at the four pointed star mounted on the door, just above my eye level. Did I create that? The dream star was more ornate. I shake off the strange feeling and move to the bar beside the door. This isn't anything like I'd imagined the place to be. The wood is darker, glossier, and everything is more streamlined than I'd expected. "Two beer." I say to Mac. I dig through my pockets for the twenty that should be there, but I only find a bunch of change in my right pocket, where the bullets should be. Loonies, toonies, quarters. I apologize for paying in change, and I give him the $20 pile of change, minus the six loonies I need for LG. I consider that since we're in Chicago, I should have given him American money. I let my hand hover over the pile of change, and will it into American bills. The money flickers and I see paper. I'm not sure if it worked. Mac waves me off, and I grab the beer and my loonies, setting them both down on a round wooden table near the bar. "Aw, you don't need to do that," says a voice, "You already paid for drinks." "These aren't coins," I say, turning to look at what I think is the Lunar God. He's younger than any incarnation I've seen before. He grins in understanding and takes a seat. I take a sip of the beer. It tastes like Pilsner. There's a third person at the table, whom I never acknowledge. Her (?) presence seems shadowy, dark, barely there. I think it's Elaine. A girl comes up to LG and asks if it's okay if she leaves with someone. "Yes." says one of us, before LG can comment. We kind of need to talk to him. Unfortunately, LG's very presence seems to destabilize all dreams, and I can't remember a damn thing after that. Including whether I still have the bullets. Failed Interrogations. Scare Factor: 3. Reaction: I need a new plan.

[Samael]

Well, it makes sense. Better to post on a schedule you can keep up. I think the last day I actually posted was Tuesday...

[Samael]

@RomanSoldier: It was an odd experience, to say the least. Apparently my dream-avatar had a mind of its own. Non-LucidSemi-LucidLucid Things to Run Away From Really Fast #38: Witch Trials I hop on a bus with a duffel bag and a backpack, headed out to Halifax. I arrive at the hostel. There's a book sale in one of the rooms. I gravitate toward the back corner and recognize the cover for a Sherlock Holmes collection. I open it up, pleasantly surprised to find the book full of illustrations. I head over to another corner by the windows and flip through a few children's books for reference. The illustrations in every book are watercolour and ink or acrylic and ink. They have a grainy, spooky tone to them and some of the watercolour scenes are brilliant. I pick out a few and head to cash. "You've got two books there?" I glance down at the pile in my arms. "More than that," I say. She rolls her eyes. "I'm charging you for five, then. Your total is $4.25." I hand her a five dollar bill and get three quarters back. Looking at the pile again, I realize that there's actually six books, but one is only a few torn out pages. Fair enough, I decide. I head back to my room to pack. I'm looking at a shelf full of food and wondering when I found the time to buy all of this. I pack it away (bread goes squish) along with the books. It's a perfect fit, but I'm going to be annoyed travelling with all this luggage. Chel, a girl who was a grade above me in high school, arrives as I'm leaving. We have an excited conversation involving the odds of meeting up on the other side of the country. I decide to stop in Quickton before heading to Vancouver. For a break in a long goddamn bus ride, if nothing else. The bus station by the Westin is suddenly a part of Ixburg. *** In Quickton, grocery shopping. Sprained left leg, hobbling along, wondering where my crutches went. I limp along on my left ankle after I get tired of hopping. It hurts, but it could be worse. I talk to my late grandma. *** Still in Quickton, I'm on trial as a witch. The woman accusing me is a made up character who, apparently, went to high school with me. I spend most of the trial resisting the urge to burn her alive via dream-powers. Apparently that wouldn't help my case much. I'm defending myself; no lawyers allowed. I catch the woman in the middle of a lie and ruthlessly pounce on it, drawing out answers that prove she wasn't where she said she was. Something about flowers that are yellow and in a pot. Daisies, probably. I'm not sure if my argument's had any effect on the jury yet, so when the Judge asks me about the green lightsaber they have in custody, I immediately reply, "My lightsabers aren't green." I consider summoning my dual sabers to the courtroom, but again, supernatural powers are not what anyone needs to see right now. I go into a tangent, wondering what my colour actually is. Purple is tempting, and I've always been partial to red and blue, but orange is pretty close and I'm not genuinely Sith-like (far too dogmatic for me). I don't really like orange much, though. I swing a couple orange sabers around in the hallway just to try them out. I'm sitting back in my box with my arch-nemesis a couple places down, wondering if the trial can adjourn for the day. It's almost five and I'm bored. We all go home for the night. I've been released into the custody of my parents, so I'm walking into a bigger version of their house, kicking off my shoes as I go. I'm picking up a piece of paper that might be an assassination contract a la Assassin's Creed. Unfortunately, without some serious creativity, I won't be able to collect on it. I'm supposed to stay here, after all... Witch Trials. Scare Factor: 2. Reaction: I think I was completely guilty of everything I was accused of.

[Samael]

Non-LucidSemi-LucidLucid Things to Run Away From Really Fast #39: Misogynists, Scientists, Doctors, Little Girls, Monsters, and Faeries I'm in the local theatre with a group of girls. Apparently we're about to play out The Handmaid's Tale, and as I'm not a fan of that particular dystopia, I'd rather not. As soon as everyone's asleep, I wake up another girl and start running. In retrospect, it would have been smarter to leave her behind. We're fleeing down a gold-gilded hallway toward a mirror I plan to use as an escape. (The mirror really exists in my parents' house.) I see a shadow run through the mirror and I attempt to follow, but I smack against it and push on the glass. I give up quickly; there's someone hot on our heels. We run into an empty-of-furniture bedroom, and begin to literally climb the walls looking for a way out. The closet is an escape route. I turn around to look at my fellow escapee. She's wearing the dream-avatar I was just using, complete with wild orange hair. I'm a brunette now. There's a third girl in the room with us. shift I'm in a high-tech facility, a space station, and I'm alone. I pickpocket an Asian woman's key card as I bump into her, and slip through a guarded door. The guard on the other side of the door, and asks for ID as I come through. I hand him the card. I strike at him. I take him down quickly, before he has a chance to call for backup. My presence has raised alarms. They don't know where I am, but I'm being chased. I need to move quickly. There's a control panel in the next room. It's triangular, with an assortment of round buttons that don't make any sense. Since I'm dreaming, only intent is important, and it doesn't matter which buttons I push. I focus on my goal, pressing buttons at random. This dream is exciting, so I don't abandon it. I head for the nearest set of double doors leading to a staircase. I find a scientist/doctor who's actually on my side. I'm sequestered in her office, and nobody will know that I'm here for a while yet. She takes a sample of my skin cells and runs a test. Surprisingly, the results indicate that I'm completely human. "Where's a scalpel?" I mutter. I take an x-acto knife off of the nearest counter and push the blade into my palm. Blood pools into my hand. "Now look," I say to the doctor. I brush the blood away from the cut, showing completely intact skin below. I'm trying to stay in-character as someone with a healing-factor. I move over to the sink, washing the quickly congealing blood down the drain. My logic is that you can do all sorts of nasty things to someone if you have their blood. I'm in the cafeteria. I'm looking for a free-run sequence. I run up the wall to an upper balcony, pulling myself up into the rafters and flinging myself forward without losing momentum. I'm trying to go up and up and shift Sam and Dean Winchester are saving people and hunting things. I'm playing as Dean while trying not to get Sam W. mixed up with my username. A man needs help rescuing his daughter and his pregnant wife from the evil scientists several Levels down. We take the elevator from Level 7 down to one of the sub levels. The rescue is successful, but unfortunately, both of the children are evil. We eventually convince the five-year-old not to kill us all, and she decides to be a force for good. It reminded me of the daughter of the Basanos in the Sandman spinoff, Lucifer.* *Super-powerful being rapes its host, host becomes pregnant, tries for a magical abortion, unborn daughter tries to kill everyone, and God's granddaughter erases everyone's memory so they can live normal, happy lives. John Winchester pops out of nowhere in order to tell his sons something important. Dean doesn't want to hear it, I really don't care, and Sam W.'s starting to wonder if his brother has dissociative identity disorder. Somehow, this devolves into a man-hug as I flip back and forth from a male character to a female one. No one else seems to notice. shift My character (a child) is trapped playing out endless scenarios for a... troll... or something. I'm crawling through the mud under a two-foot high bridge, eying the puddle to the centre warily. I'm pretty sure there's alligators down there, and when I think I see (sense) movement, I panic and make for dry land. And suddenly, I'm in control instead of the child-character. Fed up with such repetitive terror, I immediately make a break for it when I'm out in the open. I run past ramshackle machinery and jump into a red truck parked near the muddy road. As I start up the truck, ignoring the shrieking of the little goblin by the bridge, I notice it's a standard. Whatever, I drive a motorbike, I can make it work. I put the truck into gear and drive off down the road. Now it can fit one person, and there's no cab. Down the road, I find faeries. I'm their guest. One reminds me of Miranda, even though she looks nothing like her. This woman has long, curly brown hair, and is most definitely not Vietnamese. She looks a lot like Liv Tyler, actually. Fae!Miranda gives me a gift. I accept it, and go off on a mental tangent about the birthday gifts Ron and Hermione may or may not have received. Also, the fact that Miranda and I still haven't gotten together to exchange Christmas '09 gifts. I want to give a gift of my own. I pull out a box and hand it to the woman. We're part of a group now, sitting around a table. Fae!Miranda opens the box and pulls out a shimmery fabric that seems almost invisible. I explain that the fabric is a magic silk that will enhance - something. Maybe it has defensive powers, or turns the wearer invisible. I don't remember. It was awesome, though. I was wearing some, even. The silk changes to match the green of the faerie's dress, and flows into her curly hair. A boy across from me is angry. I receive an image of a black gown - apparently Fae!Miranda's suitor was about to give her a dress. I can feel his jealousy brimming over from across the table. Misogynists, Scientists, Doctors, Little Girls, Monsters, and Faeries. Scare Factor: 2. Reaction: one of these days, giving powerful gifts to potential antagonists is going to come back and bite me. Oh, and Photobucket's down.