Dream journal of Novise

[Novise]

Happy to share my new experiences henceforth and I hope I write them in a way that is interesting for the reader. One thing I focus on is the integrity of my journal entries. If I am not sure, I will say so or leave it out. As subjective as dreams are, I try to as much as I can in recall be sure not to make things more fuzzy than they already are. The past 3 years I've been sort of in a bubble as far as dreaming goes. I've been on my own, keeping a journal from time to time. I've looked for dreaming websites during that time but the ones I came across simply did not do it for me and I just figured what I was looking for didn't exist. And now I've found Dreamviews and that's changed. Anyway, I have successfully DILDed many times and tend to go lucid in this manner regularly, I have had 1 solid WILD, and a few beginnings of a WILD that I woke up from. But I used to use a voice recorder to recall dreams. While that is a very easy way to do it, it does have a disadvantage because it doesn't exersize that "recall muscle" so much as written recording. So I'm happy to be done with it. It broke for no reason. So I don't really know what to tell you to expect from these entries, everything I do recall wise has changed. So I'll leave it with a poem that I wrote in my original dream journal: If you folks had been with me All the times I was with you It might have felt different When I came walking through [This is] to those who watched with me great stories pass and flow who stood among the dead and cried the time already must come and go And to those who I took flying that will never ever know.

[Novise]

02.10.2009 A new beginning (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I dream I am at work. It looks a little different in the office than it would be in real life. All my co-workers are around but I didn't specifically look at anyone. We have a new boss and he is trying to set things up the way he likes it. I like what he's doing and am in a good mood anyway. My coworkers are in a good mood as well (independently it seems of the new boss or anything that's happening in particular). We are just watching and listening to the new boss with anticipation, half positive half worried, and the feeling in there is that sort of subdued cheer that you find in the workplace on a "good day." Later on my sister and I are on a sort of vacation it seems. And I remember driving into the parking lot at night at the hotel. It's like we have to leave tomorrow and "go back" and I am trying to do everything right for that.

[Novise]

03.10.2009 3:40 Am (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Woke up about 4 times last night having had dreams each time I woke up. Though I thought I jotted notes down each time, I only had one dream jotted when I finally got up. Must have had a few FA's. In my first one I was arguing with my parents and it was pretty intense, I don't remember what we argued about just that it was pretty bad. Later on I remember dreaming about three cats being shown to me by a sincere woman. They were disfigured in the face, and I noticed, but I dismissed it thinking I just haven't seen enough cats to judge these. In the next dream I am with my family again and we are up on this balcony of sorts where you can jump to the roofs of adjacent buildings. This guy I know shows up and starts showing off, jumping across this one particular ledge. So he gets all excited and I want to try it, so he grabs me and jumps and I jump with him. We get across the ledge but when he lands he tumbles, rolling off the side of the building (Doh!) and he goes falling 20 feet down between another 2 buildings. My family freaks out and I just try to stay hopeful and calm so I can try to do what I can. Ambulances show up, and he's been breathing unconcious the whole time. He wakes up and looks into the EMT's eyes and say's, "Oh hey." And he slowly recovers. I see his mother later on and she has some dogs with her on a leash, and she shows me them as we part. The final dream was a little humorous to me: My dad and I are in a mall and he say's he is sorry for the arguing (that we had 3 dreams ago) and I say I'm sorry too. I don't really remember what we were all arguing about just that we were pretty intense about it. Anyway in the mall we get to this corridor where they are doing some sort of construction, and you aren't supposed to go this way but if you crawl through it's a shortcut. There is a long curved window that follows the side of it with a nice view and a little place in the middle that opens up like a hall. But anyway, in this small corridor with the curved window there are fast food bags all along the side. As if a group of people ate there and selfishly left the mess for someone else to worry about. We can hear the people coming back through and it sounds like a boy's high school team of sorts. So my dad (bless his heart) get's annoyed that these youngsters left such a mess, so he takes all their bags and puts them into a big ball, and shoves that ball into the corridor, blocking it off. So I sort of roll my eyes at him and think to myself, "Of course he would." Now I'm laughing and so is he and we try to go back out of the corridor but it's hard to go fast. The team runs around the long way and gets to the opening before we can. So we try to go back the other way but some are still on that side too. I decide to be diplomatic and I say to them, "Will you excuse my father," and one of them nods his head saying yes. So now they come in and they are all in a good mood and not even worried about my father, they are a lot smaller than we thought and first. Anyway everyone is now in the part where the corridor opens up and these kids are cutting up and me and my dad are trying to make our exit. I see a wasp flying around me. I have no where to move with all the people so I swat at it, damaging it around it's stinger. That's when I notice the wasp nest (It looks like a bird house for wasps). I suddenly feel bad now knowing these are somebody's wasps. The wasp continues flying despite it's halfway flattened stinger.

[Novise]

So much of last nights dream involved my parents it got me to thinking about a dream I had before coming to dreamviews about my father and mother and so I thought I would share. This from about six months ago... I was never lucid during this (though I felt very different, like a spirit traveler). I found myself in a mountainous area. There was a rickety rope bridge with wooden planks that spanned from one mountain to the next, crossing a wide shallow river that ran between them. I had trouble keeping my balance as I crossed. Then I saw my mother coming down from the side I was going to. She had no trouble with it at all. She was glad to see me and I started asking her what this place was. It was "where they lived now." A mountain cabin that was everything a "retired couple" could ask for. The mountains were beautiful and the air was crisp. It wasn't really cold or uncomfortable at all. Just cabins, no roads really, but it felt very civilized and safe. She told me "your daddy is still asleep, I wake up before he does. He likes to cook." And it seemed that their lifestyle was so simple, and she went about describing it like they had been here for a LONG time, and I just popped in to visit from time to time (and not often enough of course). We stood on the bridge and I just looked around taking it all in. "Usually someone else is out here before me, but not today," she said. She went on to explain things and some of them I surmised on my own: The people who lived in this place lived very simply and stayed a long time. They were very happy and not anxious or troubled in the least. Their minds were slower (though not less wise or intelligent) from less use or age, and they were carefree and relaxed to the point that it would slightly annoy or awe someone from our fast moving modern times. I got the sense that if you wanted to rush them along, they wouldn't feel it. So basically everyday the people who lived in the cabins would come down to the river and sit on these sort of log benches with their bare feet in the water, facing downstream. The river was very shallow 1-4 ft deep throughout, and anyone could easily wade it. Though some parts were rocky but easily avoidable, easy to go around. It flowed steadily, smoothly, fast enough to rinse your hands off for you. It seemed as if the point was to rinse the accumulated "dust" off your feet. So people would just sit in the water facing downstream in their makeshift chairs and benches, and they would see the great view and the backs of others who were doing the same further down. Most would have brought a picnic with them for lunch. And as far as I can tell the people and the river went on for what seemed forever. And that's all they did every day with no worries until making the climb back up to their cabins for the night. People were in small groups, oftentimes couples, some were alone. But everyone did the same thing and I guess they had passing conversations between the groups from time to time. Though they interacted it seemed totally peaceful. It was a beautiful morning and apparently that's how it almost always was. People would get up in the morning usually by their own whims and eat breakfast and slowly take their time getting to the river and sit out in it, joining their companion(s). In life they had accumulated much dust on their feet, and it took a long long time for the river to wash it off. And so this is how I saw my parents in this other dimension. This is how they lived in that world, and that's just the way it was.

[Novise]

07.10.2009 Catching up (DEILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Since the past few entries I have been dreaming in decent quantity, but the quality of my recall has been pretty weak. Since everything is so jumbled and difficult to recall I did not make an entry, and just jotted whatever I could remember as a mental exercise. I didn't go lucid until this morning, I'm getting my energy back. I was able to mess around with sound in the dreams, it sounded much like "Voices/Noises in your head." It sounded like I expected. I attained lucidity by having DEILD's in the early morning after waking up and going outside a while, I fell asleep again after a long nights sleep of regular dreams: Me and a few others are outside few guys and girls. It is a hilly area with lots of trees and it's sort of dark outside, probably morning. I tell the people with me "It's a dream." And they nod their heads like they know. So I'm like, "Well if you know, what should we do... lets fly around." So this young guy, a little bigger than me takes off arms pointing forward and he sort of zips away. I'm thinking "I can't always go that fast." The other two zip away with him and I can barely see them/keep up. They go through the trees and into clearings and then the two leaders split up, and I make a sharp turn to stay with one. I try to pay attention to the creation of the ground and grass because of some things I've read on DreamViews. It seems like if I stare at the grass and it's detail, the dream begins to fade. But if I pay attention to the blurry trees and general surroundings, my dream stays stable and fine. I realize that I can pick up speed by stretching my arms, I am flying superman style but not more than six feet from the ground. The three or four of us zip around and make a pretty good show. I try to go full speed but the stretching of my arms begins to hurt, and I wonder if I'm not stretching them physically (I am sleeping rather lightly). So I stop with that. At times everything would go black for a second or two, and then the dream would come back. So either I woke up, or one of these little pauses occured. Either way, when I came back into it this time, there were young people around again. There was a large pavillion sort of structure, and we were out in nature again. So I remembered wanting to try to make music in the dream. I decided to sing and create "All the Same." by Sick Puppies. So as I start to sing I can hear the melody begin to be played with my mind. The melody is loud and clear, but it is incorrect. It sounds like a broken record. My voice is not only one voice but it sort of splits into two voices. I wonder if I am singing out loud physically. So it all sounds pretty bad but it's workable, it made enough sense to know what the song was. So it seems like my dream-self is creating a voice, and my mind is creating a voice as well (a perception perhaps?), the mind-created melody is very flawed but stays in beat. I begin to ask myself, "I know I know this song, why wont by "mighty" subconcious get it right!" As I had read to allow the mind to do the work during visualization. I did try to correct it "manually" for a moment, but only just, and it didn't help. I wake up and go back to sleep, and this time I'm at work. I throw some of my coworkers up into the air telekinetically for fun. It was really a sort of reality check, and it's quite a safe one to do if you think about it.

[Baron Samedi]

Wow! You were really lucid to be thinking so much like that in your dream. Whenever I think about what my physical body is doing, it makes me wake up.

[Novise]

Thanks for commenting. I guess I do that because usually when I go lucid I know I'm usually less than 5 minutes away from waking up, and likely in a very light sleep. So as I have enjoyed seeing how loudly I can yell in a few lucid dreams, and singing freely in a few, even screaming just to check out my dream vocal chords and see if there is an echo (or if I can make one)... I've always been a little concerned and self-concious of a fear that I may well be yelling/singing/screaming in real life as I wake up unexpectedly. I've read some of your journal and you stay lucid really well, I would have called what you do "sticking to the plot." You are lucid but you stay with the story (I usually do this to, if it's ever a long lucid dream I've always "gone along" with the story). I'll keep that in mind (not thinking about my physical body) especially for those times I really want to "stick to" the dream. And taking from what you've said, I wonder maybe I think too much, and it could be a detriment at times to my dreaming ability. It's something you can also say to yourself in a dream or to a dream character. Just say, "Right now, my body is asleep on my bed, and here I am in this world/dream." Maybe try it but be wary that it may well lower the stability of the dream.

[Mancon]

Your dreams are cool! I hope you keep posting more and I will keep reading

[Novise]

08.10.2009 Hectic Game show preparations (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Some friends and people I kind of know are together in a town I've never been to. Baltimore I think it was supposedly. We are going to be on a game show on live TV, and I am a little nervous about the context and it being on TV. It seems like the gameshow is embarrassing to participate in. So we all have to pile into a van to ride to the studio. Everyone has to take their bag so they can change clothes and have their things. Well what do you know, I've forgotten my bag. I tell them they will have to wait, I can't participate without it and they need me. They say "We'll all be late," as I go running back inside the hotel. They laugh at me. I run up the stairs so fast and do this amazing leap down into the little sitting area (which is like pews, or a theater) where my bag is. I even curve during the leap. I actually wanted to impress some of the girls this way. It would have been a good time to realize I was dreaming, but I didn't even think about it. So I do some more amazing leaps down the stairs and into the lobby. I go past a very professional seeming girl playing a violin, and other musicians in the main lobby. I stop a second to apologize to the girl for my disturbance, and wish her the best of luck with her violin, doing a funny downward hand salute. So I get back into the van and I guess they have a phone in there. Somehow I discover that I forgot to pay for my meal last night at the restaurant. We all had a great supper at a nice restaurant the night before, and even practiced for the game show, and played soccer. Though I don't recall those parts very well. I was already late for the show and couldn't take care of it. So I got really stressed out. This is my typical nightmare, late for something, forgotten something, holding others up. I guess the dream ended in the van, during the ride.

[Novise]

08.10.2009 Space-Flight and trying to feel my dream body (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Second dream of the night I'm in a hotel similar to the one I was in during my earlier dream of the night. I must be semi-lucid because I am pretty fearless. I am trying to find a particular girl, and I don't remember her at this point. But the section I am in, everyone knows it's only women in those rooms, and I am snooping around not telling anyone what I'm up to. I think I just wanted to ask her to join me. Well a group of ladies sees me and I guess since I was snooping they assumed the worst. Some of them I have known for years, but they instantly turned on me, saying "Just tell xxxx" (xxxx being my boss). I run into another hallway, annoyed at being so misunderstood. I hear them say, "He went that way." I now go fully lucid, as I often do when I'm trying to run away in a dream. I was a little tense hearing them chasing me, but I sort of force myself through the wall and into the next room. I have to go through about 6 walls (strangely it must have been 6 hallways) until I'm out, and this act has definetly proven to myself that it's a dream. I still fear I may be spotted through a window, and decide to get to the roof to plan my next move. I get comfortable in the air and decide to just keep going up. It seems to be the path of least resistance for me this time. I get pretty high up and think that I will slowly wake up if I try to go out into space. So instead I decide to skydive, as I have done once before. This time though, I allow myself to tumble and focus on "letting go." Instead of trying to face down the whole time and make myself go faster. You can still see the ground and sky alright if you tumble slowly, sort of like a ballerina keeps her face fixed as she spins. The sensation is not that powerful this time. I don't hear sounds, or feel wind rishing by, I don't go through clouds, I can barely feel any movement. I continue focusing on letting go and it gets to where I am near the ground again. But I'm really enjoying the fact that "letting go" has worked so well, that I just stay that way letting it carry me through the earth itself, I have really picked up a lot of speed and the realness is really not there anymore. I must have closed my eyes, but I was through in no time and now going VERY fast. I leave the atmosphere and out into space. Soon planets are whizzing by me - mostly earth-neptune size - any color from brown to our blue, to green/blue, to grey. Though I didn't see any suns or Jupiters or Saturns. No stars close up at all. I decide if I see another planet similar to earth I will try to go down to it and meet someone. It's not long before I spot one, and slow down and then speed towards it. It seems to be 90% water, but I spot a large enough island landmass. As I start to go down to it I am distracted. Now there are asteroids around this planet. They are pretty big, but smaller than this watery earth I am at. They glow slightly, like Iron that is not quite red hot, but getting there. They seem to be full of energy. Then another set of them is noticed out of the group. These are obsidian. So shiny black and smooth. I begin to chase one for a closer look and it's going pretty fast. So by the time I get to it I'm out in the middle of nowhere. I decide to change course totally, and my new direction takes me out into what must be the desert section of this space. There is nothing, 3 or 4 dots make out distant stars and they don't seem to be getting closer. I just stop, leaning back to take a rest, noticing my hands out of the corner of my eye. (Space dreams are very rare for me, don't get me wrong, I guess the "letting go" had just relaxed me a lot.) I hold them far in front as I can, and they are extremely blurry. I put them together and then I touched my sides to feel my dream body, remembering reading that in a tutorial. Ha! It only took 2 seconds for that to wake me up, but I was already on my way to waking up regardless.

[Novise]

Thanks Mancon, was staying with yours and need to catch up on it sometime today. One thing I think has really helped this time is that I'm going to sleep earlier. When I first found dreamviews I was pretty junky and staying up late, sleeping through the whole night and rushing to get ready for work in the morning. Past two days I've gone to sleep around 9:00 or 10:00 So then when I wake up there is time and I have energy to do some good recall. Instead of staying up playing video games and cruising the internet, sort of mind numbing. Most of my years of dream recall, I haven't been very disciplined, so this could be good. If anyone is just going to sleep late, waking up and rushing to get ready for work/school or whatever, they may be able to learn from the mental exercise of recall, but it often takes time and energy to really get detail and length from the dreams. There are always exceptions, but this is a very big factor imo.

[Novise]

Lot's of dreams last night. I have been pretty disciplined lately, but nothing extreme. Jot down notes about these dreams at night when I wake up from them. If I hadn't, I would totally forget them by morning I think. 10.10.2009 A party (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID It seems to be a party that should have been from a decade or two ago. My old boss is there, who I've always been good friends with, and lots of people we used to work with and some random, who have brought dates with them. We cut up a little, but I am really surprised at how much alcohol all the women are consuming as I wander around the party. Some of them have wine bottles directly in hand and some of them have liquor bottles even. Well the party is ending and we are walking back past the pool to the cars. I must have been semi lucid, or maybe had been drinking in the dream, because I flat out ask two of the prettiest girls who have been together the whole time to take me with them. But I remember reminding myself the tutorial tip on Dreamviews: "Ask dream characters, don't try to force," so I must have known it was a dream, but I never did anything that wasn't normal. I think I meant to test this theory, so I stuck to my guns on the asking, instead of giving up. After much persistence they tell me that if I can sing that song "Lola" without messing up that I can go with them. I don't know this song so I make up my own verse. It wasn't great but it was kind of in beat and this satisfies them and they agree I can join them. But as we are getting to the cars they are more like carriages, and they need me to fix the car by using chairs beside the pool. It doesn't make much sense now! Another guy is trying to do the same thing for another car (probably with girls in it), and we are in competition over the pool chairs. I awake as we literally scrap tug of war style over the last remaining chair, it's a stalemate.

[Novise]

10.10.2009 A family gathering, and empathy? (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Various members of my extended family are coming to my parents house for some reason. We all sit in the den discussing things. My cousin, who is rather strong picks me up and I sort of go limp. He holds me up like they hold up Simba in the Lion King, LOL. He asks Jesus to bless me (This side of my family is very Christian religious). Then he sets me down, I don't notice much else, but I guess everyone else was quiet. Then he picks me up again and I sort of roll my eyes to myself. He holds me up and asks my deceased grandfather to bless me. I just sort of sit back down not saying anything. So that all settles down and the discussion goes on, which I don't remember, and we go out to the porch. I have been watching this little dog and now I forget it's name. It wasn't very sweet or interesting, but endearing in that strange way. As if it were admired because of it's lack of charm, and it's interest in seeing and smelling everything around it. So I really like the little dog but it's been barking. And my cousin has to go outside and try to get it to hush, it's really made some people mad. I go outside with him. The dog has gotten tangled in it's leash on the porch, which is chain-link but very small chains. So I just feel sorry for it and want to help it, but it's my cousin's dog. He pulls on the leash which causes the parts wrapped around it's leg to be tighter. It's not unbearable, but it's bad enough to cause the dog some pain. I feel as if I can feel the dog's pain, and really really want my cousin to stop. But it's not my dog, and he's my elder, and... he's bigger. I feel this pain building up in my back, and an anxiety. I know it's related to the dog. After a moment I let out a yell, and my cousin sets the doggy free. It's the first time I've felt pain from something else in the dream. Now we go back in and more discussion. People are starting to leave. Most everyone has left except for myself and this "older woman" who is not in my family, I know her in RL and sort of like her. I don't know why she is there but we sit on the sofa and she leans on me a bit. She say's "I don't want to go but when my friend gets here I have to." We can hear her friend coming down the hall and I sort of smile as I go more lucid. I calmly tell her, "I know what to do, hold on." I fly both of us up through the ceiling and into the attic. I will spare the mildly romantic details of the minute or so remaining before I wake up.

[Novise]

Correction: This dream is Lucid, DILD 10.10.2009 Four typical heroes (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Myself and three other guys are in a city goofing around and hanging out when our apparent "leader" say's we have to go. He drives us to this store, on the way he tells us it's about to get bombed and we can stop it from happening with some luck. It's an electronics store, and when we get there one of the guys doesn't seem like he was paying attention. He just goes running in to try out a video game that's there for sampling. I go through the door waving frantically to him, "Come here, come back!" He gives me this look like (you don't tell me what to do) and he says, "Come here? Huh." And goes back to his game. So now it's plan B I guess, we just run in and the "leader" goes in the office to tell the manager, I stay outside the office and try to watch out. Nothing is happening so I go on in too. Behind me two employees come in and they are asked to empty their pockets. The first one empties his and it's just rolls of coin, it seems he's been caught simply stealing from the stores change collection. The second one has what look like rolls of coin, but they are transmitters for the bombs wrapped in coin rollers. I think I realized it was a dream back when I saw the first coin rolls (It's not every day you see a guy pull 6 rolls of quarters/nickels out his pocket on the same day his buddy is trying to blow up the store he works at). Apparently he had been stopped before the bombs were wired completely. He gives the transmitters up to the manager and with those in hand the store is now safe, and the authorities are on the way. I am using the office's computer on the internet and am reading from a search (I believe I typed in Novise to the search bar). Turns out I have made a post under the name of Novise, writing a poem about an MMORPG I used to play and the players in it, and someone has corrected the poem to make it better. It makes the poem better rhyme wise but I disagree with his choice of words, they don't tell the story at all. Either the authorities came in, or were about to. That's when I decide I don't want the authorities slowing us down. I telekinetically send my companions through the ceiling at the same time, and I fly myself up as they are about halfway to it, realizing I can handle it. Up on the roof two of them are pretty awed by what just happened and one keeps his cool. Again I fly us all together this time, and now I remember setting down outside the store to get back in the car. But a Sheriff's car spots us and turns it's lights on just sitting there. I take the initiative and decide to fly us up again. The car comes close and I just maneuver us to be directly above it, so he can't see us unless he gets out. This goes on for a while until we are high up enough that we can't hardly see the car (it is foggy). Now I just fly us all again trying to get some distance in a random direction. I can't go fast like this but I figure if I get us high enough we will be out of danger, then we can set down behind a hill or some trees. We are going slowly and I am trying not to go ridiculously high for fear of waking up. I feel less strain from my efforts and notice that now one of my companions has started to fly on his own. I say, "Oh you can fly yourself, good, less work for me." The other two are still pretty amazed by what's happening and I tell them, "Give it a day or two and you'll be flying on your own." We trudged on, towards our goal behind a hill with trees. I thought for a moment about shared dreams and wondered if any of these guys with me were real people, dreaming at the same time, especially the one who realized it was a dream too. When we set down I begin to try to devise a plan. It seems all four of us want to meet "her." This lady apparently is hidden away in the underground and wise and has answers for us, why we are there and what we can try to do to accomplish some good. Before I know it, 2 cars pull up. My comrades have stolen these cars or something, but they claim they own them. Myself and another sit in the back of the first car, and off we go, safe and free from the authorities. One car is squarish and rough looking, the other one is sporty, either a nice Camaro or Corvette. So while I was sitting there thinking they had already gotten us transportation. The dream ends, I didn't even make it into the car and I wake up.

[Novise]

11.10.2009 Interesting DC (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Had a few dreams last night but I only really remember the ending of this one and this DC. I only remember for certain the first line of his poem, but I remember a little of the rest and the general idea, and recreated it as well as I could. For the record I am tolerant and enjoy all the religions, and have nothing in particular against Christians. Funny this occured on a Sunday Morning Also remember, I don't remember it word for word, just the first part, and the idea of the remainder. The streets were dirt and the stores surrounded a wide square. People were walking down the street in small groups, and didn't really catch my attention. I was not involved in any real plot in this dream. This old, yet healthy man walked out of one of the stores and I immediately noticed him. He looked out into the town into the people's eyes, paused for a moment, cleared his throat, and began to yell this poem somewhat angrily, and sternly: "Though You're all asleep And disagree with me I'd have you go to heaven." "You look oh so happy Looking down at me An hour after eleven." "Now the man is yelling He's surely going to hell The only way up is Christ" "Maybe you can tell me Just how far I fell yes That would be very nice." "Though you wish I were snoring I wish you the best This lovely Sunday Morning!" "And I've been awake since seven!!"

[Novise]

Haven't been giving myself the time to sit down and do a good recall session in a few days. I take down notes everytime I wake up, but I wont put a whole dream on here unless I feel like I've put a good effort into the recall. In my dreams last night on at least two occasions I thought to myself "I wish I was dreaming." Which was sort of my sentiment throughout the waking day. I even thought to do an RC, but the dream was so realistic I thought it was a waste of effort. I, yes I, was so dull and boring, and bored. But I had a decent quantity of dreaming last night, and remember an entire short conversation with a young man, about religion. Never really noticed how often the theme of religion comes up in my dreams until I started posting here, maybe this is a dreamsign. That and walking around in public with pajama type clothing on and nobody seeming to mind, lol.

[Novise]

15.10.2009 "My town" (A long story) ending with a possible OOBE (or at least a dream of one) (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Wow this got really long quick. When I first woke up I only remembered some basic things, there are a few interesting things but it's nothing mind blowing if you've ever heard "possible OOBE" accounts, most all of them are more interesting than this one I had. But this does show a long dream and a good recall effort, attention to detail and feelings of the dreamer imo. I really recall first how I was having a nightmare basically that I couldn't go to sleep and it was getting late. Before that I have some very vague memory of a girl I know (and a little attracted to yes) telling me she has to sign a new lease today and to see if my parents will let her move into our house. My parents decided it would be ok, talking to her soon after, and telling her it would cost her only $150 a month. So now I'm trying to go to sleep and I just am not tired in the least, and the clock said 2:00 AM. I think to myself, "Don't panic, you'll be ok at work just tired." Thought about getting up and getting online some but decided against it. This goes on for a while. Next thing I remember is getting this fear that I've left the door unlocked. I get up to lock it and when I try to shut it, it won't snap shut. So now I'm really scared that something or someone is behind the door and I'm trying to rationalize it away. I try to slam the door and every possible way to shut it, it simply wont. I can't rationalize my fears away either and really don't understand why this has me so flustered. So I run upstairs thinking I could sleep up there some, and tell them the door wont shut. I can hear someone up there anyways. Now this is sort of tricky recalling, because the dream really meshes together on these parts where I dream I'm in my bed trying to fall asleep. I go upstairs and my mother is up. I tell her about the locked door and think to myself, "But that doesn't do any good to tell them if the door won't lock." And I go running back down the stairs with my mother asking me questions. Then I come running back up, and now my sister is in the way. She has things in her hands to take downstairs and I get angry at her because that's going to wake up the girl that just moved in. Now how I did all that with the door without the same problem, I do not know. There were 3 or 4 times I had the "falling asleep in my bed" moments, and they really really are blurred together. I tell my sister to put them down, I'll carry them down later. My mother sees me all stressed out about the door and things. Plus my sister wouldn't get out of my way when I was trying to run up and talk to my mother. My mother is really cool in this dream. She say's "let's all go eat breakfast downtown, you guys can catch the trains still, there is time." It was still dark outside, very early in the morning there. As far as I know we went into town, but I don't remember eating, just going up on a balcony and looking out into the street. Maybe the balcony was off the restaurant as we waited to get seated I decided to look outside. I see some people walk by and this pretty brunette girl who I've seen before is waiting to cross the street. She is looking into my eyes, with a bored expression on her face. She holds the glance a while, acting as if there is no where more convenient for her eyes to rest. A few others walk under. This recurred in the dream as well, 2 or 3 times and they all really mesh together. I guess I found myself back at home. The girl who has moved in has a bed across the room from mine, and we are very good about being quiet and not bothering eachother. But overtime we sort of develop this crush, and I wonder if she will ever join me. I'm not sure if I want her to or not, but part of me wants her to. I can't really go to sleep and want to get on the internet, but I realize it will wake her if I do. This doesn't bother me at all, I am surprised at my lack of resentment. (Just detailing the feelings in the dream) I now realize it must be a dream, this has been going on forever, all this stuff has happened. I don't really go lucid, but I lighten up a whole lot. But I'm still very attached to the plot of the dream, and not officially lucid. So now all these people come over and it's like a big party all of a sudden. I get a guy to look at my door and see if he can get it to lock good. Of course it works on the first try, and him and 4 other men pull and push on it, it's bending and coming out the hinges and they force it back to normal. At the party the girls are all running their hands across my abdomen and smiling at me. Whenever I pay attention to that girl that moved in, they all get excited and encouraging. She is smiling at me and does the same with her hands. It seems like it must be meant to be. I'm still not sure. They had some icing or something, I tasted some of it and it was great. I get some on my hand and throw it away, to their disappointment it seems I was supposed to put the icing on "her" instead of trying some and boringly throw it in the trash can. Everyone is still in my room and later on for some reason I'm changing clothes (it may have been the next morning), and I have to walk across to get to where my boxers are. I flash half the crowd from the party. This sort of thing had already happened once (don't remember specifics) but not so badly and some guys are laughing really hard and some girls are sort of put off but didn't really seem to mind. I tell them all I'm sorry and forgot they were all there. I might have taken a shower or something, but don't remember doing it. Next thing I remember I am back up on that balcony looking out into the street. It's early morning and it's so dark I imagine most people wont see me up there. A man walks by who looks familiar but I can't place him or his name. He looks up and sort of nods at me. Then more people walk by and that same brunette from before. There is a real sense of subdued acceptance. As if everyone's soul has made truce with what the world requires of them, and they are peacefully living out their lives. Then this blonde is crossing the street and I think, "Wow she is gorgeous." I have to meet her, how will I get down I think. That's when my mind kicks into gear and says, "Ok enough is enough, this must be a dream." I try to telekinetically fly her up to the balcony I am on. I was pretty sure it was a dream, but not all the way certain. Sure enough, up she comes and I lose visibility of her part way up as she sort of goes under the edge of the balcony. When she gets up there she is a little bit changed, but still beautiful. She had landed a little bit behind me, so I sort of turned acting like she surprised me (and not the other way around) and said, "Oh hey." I didn't want to scare her. She starts talking a bit and I maintain eye contact with her. I am pulling her closer to me telekinetically, and trying to dampen her mind to that fact. Either way, she stands real close to me and it's like we are dancing really slowly trying not to trip over eachother. She talks in this beautiful voice about the people walking below - watching them pass by. I can't take my eyes off her face. The dress she wears is like a bavarian dress I guess you call it. She is all over me and I am getting really turned on as she talks about some lady teaching her things, and I hope she is going to start feeling the same soon. The dream begins to fade and I do all I can to keep it going. I try to look out into the city and focus on that instead of her, I try to spin. But it's fading fast and only getting worse. Her voice continues it's pleasant diatribe about time passing and watching all the people - their choices and paths. The dream has now faded into basically darkness with grey fog and grey masses. I can see them go by as I move. I decide to pick up speed, since I can move. I get my speed going pretty darn fast and decide to try to slam into what I sense to be an invisible wall. Hoping like the big bang, I will create a dream world, or at least some visuals. Well it turns out that in my dream world the big bang is only a theory too, and nothing happens But out of the darkness I can sort of make out that I am in a room and I'm looking at the window. It looks like my room but that isn't on my mind yet, I just want to get out the window and see the sights. I can't budge towards it, so I put all my willpower into going to it and say in my mind, "I will not be stopped from getting to the window!". I go slowly forward, for 15 seconds.. then I relax and go flying slowly back losing all my progress. I try another moment to force my way to that window and lose the battle again. I give up and look around. It's definetly my room and I look to see if my bed is in the right place. Yep it sure is, one of the strongest features in the room, it squarely stands out in a sea of bluish grey that makes up the forms in my room at night. So I can move towards it fine, and I sort of fly up to it, slowly. I don't actually expect to see my body on it. I guess I didn't because I thought I was dreaming. Well sure enough my body is laying on it, on it's back. It freaks me out when I see it, even though I knew to expect that feeling if I saw my body and tried to ride it out as it came on. But it didn't matter, the feeling was strong and like a sick feeling. My body looked insignificant, weak, what comes to mind is imagining the ginger bread man laying there, all flat and basically featureless. I continue towards my center, having been freaked out I know I need to just "get back" and try not to forget. As I get within arms length a nasty high pitched feedback noise begins, didn't really surprise me as I've read that it can happen and heard it a few times. So I closed my eyes and continued tumbling towards my body, and then I woke up, sort of shaky.

[Novise]

Reading other's journals on here has given me some ideas for my own dreams. I would really like to learn to develop a dream identity that I would name Novise. I am really envious of the ability to transform and be something else when you are lucid! So here are my goals _ Get really really lucid and transform into Novise _ Find Novise's boat, (And see what it is named) _ Find Novise's gear and items, if they aren't with the boat We'll just stick with those three for now. I'll let my mind sort out Novise's details, but I imagine him to be a halfling traveller who captains or at least drives a magic sailboat Anyway this is what I'll be attempting with my dreams. I'll have to let my mind sort out the details, but I have a pretty good idea of what I hope to find. I know it might be pushing it trying to do all this with my limited abilities, but that's the point. (never transformed before, never really been on a sailboat in a dream, just a barge)

[Novise]

16.10.2009 Think I managed to transform into a halfling (WBTB) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID ((Skip all this grey writing if you want to get to the dream, I'm just detailing this stuff because I am new to the concept of WILDing, and want to document my progress in attempting to learn it)) My dreams from last night weren't recalled that well for me to make a full entry on them. But I got up early and played a computer game and did some posting on the forums. Then I got back in bed, trying to WILD. I guess this dream is more of a WBTB based on the way other's on the forum describe a WBTB, but I was also trying to WILD from the start. I first tried on my back but then on my side. My head tilted slightly downwards, I imagined looking into my dream from above, like looking into a crystal ball. It took me a while to get relaxed, but the sounds and visualizations would come pretty well, only to be ruined by my taking of a breath. In waking life I "focus on my breath" Eckhart Tolle style you know... well I quickly figured out how to do it as well as I could without thinking about it too much, as just the slightest thought could throw me out of the sounds and visualizations. After some shifting positions slightly and trying 3 or 4 times, I get to dreaming, not lucidly. I am in a school building, we go into class. I don't realize it's a dream but I can tell I am very out of place and have no need to feel obligated to do anything. I am not concerned in the least with what the teacher is saying, he might have even been commenting on me but I didn't even register what he said. I think I put my arms on the shool desk and lay my head on them, trying to WILD. I get an erection (lol sorry) and the bell rings. Of course it would! So now everyone is getting up to leave and the teacher stays. He's still sort of talking but I really am not listening. He was a middle aged man, glasses, balding. He reminds me of one of my HS teachers actually. I pick up this device attached to the desk. It's like a hand-held playstation. It has a detailed picture diagram of what an erection is. I think it's pretty ridiculous and put it back. Well I eventually am able to get up and I must have walked outside. There is a nice white marble building that is about 3 stories tall and President Obama is apparently coming to visit it. People are all around. I imagine it would be difficult to go in there, but really, anyone can walk in. As I walk over towards it, I fully realize it's a dream now as I take in the scenery and perhaps a breath of fresh air. I decide to try to sneak in through the marble wall, but wow, I can't do it. I feel like this could wake me up if I keep trying, I don't even really feel asleep. So I look out and think about flying to my next adventure. I take off and go scooting around, not zipping, but scooting yes. I have no control over it so I decide to "let go." I get it into my head that I'm more or less letting God show me around, and I hold my head still and allow the tumbling of my body to dictate what I look at. I remember flying through the air, side to side about 15-20 ft off the ground. I remember grass and pine trees most vividly, though the pine trees were slightly disfigured and almost looked like they were painted, their limbs were too short. And also, flying over the people who were waiting at the marble building for the event. They didn't seem to notice me. The dream environment, the mood of it seemed to be fun itself. Not exactly like being at a carnival, but like being in the world Mario lives in on Nintendo Wii Mario Cart. The flying stops and I set down on the ground. I decide to myself "Ok get serious!" And so I begin to try to give equal attention to the various parts of these outdoors. Keep in mind that I feel like I could wake up any moment during the whole lucid part, I am barely asleep, and sometimes the visuals seem to "nearly go out." But the dream holds pretty good overall. I look out in the distance, but not up at the sky, then I look up close and decide to sort of keep tabs on background and foreground equally. I watch a tree root come up out of the ground and form right in front of me. It comes out of the ground like it would look if you pulled a rope out of the ground by it's end that had been buried long ways. I sort of nod at the root and this makes me smile and almost giggle. I'm trying to pay attention to my walking and my feet, and just basically trying to be aware. I decide to try to become a halfling, at least. So I imagine myself to be shorter. It certainly felt like I got 3/5 my original height. I seemed to be closer/shorter to the ground. All I could use to judge was my shadow, which looked rather short too. I've never looked intentionally at my shadow before, so that's great. It may have looked more blocky than it should have been, but mostly seemed correct. I also seemed to move slower now (not short legs, but slower altogether). I was surprised at how easy that was, though I'm not sure if I just became a shorter human, or if I really turned into a halfling. So I look out and see a river it is about 30 feet across and deep. So you know what I'm thinking if you've read my goals, I'm thinking Boat! I see a dock but no boat, I wonder if I can get over there maybe somehow I could get a boat to plop down into the water. Well to the right of the dock another dock plops down into the water, in about 3 sections of wooden beams, a deck, and more beams. This one has a roof. It was like I was being teased and shown that something could plop down, but not a boat. I see a little man over at the docks and decide to see if I can go over there and ask him to build me a boat. I think, "Oh yeah, he must be the master of boat building!" A likely story... I fly normal, not superman style and I really don't have that good of control. I sort of have to will it more than I wanted to, but I get over there landing in the water a foot off the shore. Which I don't remember how the water felt. But it turns out the little man is actually a tall kobold sort of creature. He has very thick leathery skin and doesn't look friendly. I wonder if he's going to attack me, I sense he will come after me like an aggressive mob in a MMORPG would. But I decide to try to talk to him, and I have difficulty talking. So I try again, clearing my throat. Talking seems to take a lot of effort. I manage to say, "Hello" or something, surprising it. It seemed kind of slow because it was facing me, but didn't notice me until I spoke up. Before anything else can happen, the effort of talking hurriedly wakes me up. I was on the tip of waking up pretty much the whole time it seemed, though there were moments that I felt very stably asleep which felt great. I wake up on my side, and I jolt a little as I do. I seemed to have been in an uncomfortable position for my side/ribs. But I couldn't go to sleep on my back. edit: I don't really talk about how enjoyable the dream is, when I'm scooting around in the air. Things like this are very enjoyable and blissful at times. Dreams are my favorite place to be. I hope that is implied. I just try to stay to the point with my entries, describing things as objectively and completly as I can.

[Novise]

Just want to document two dreams that I didn't do a full recall session on. These are both lucid, pure WBTBs early in the AM. One I try to make peace with a DC that I disrespected before, they say it was never a big deal and we are cool. Almost like they didn't ever think I had done so. It had been bothering me a little and I actually had made it a personal dream goal. So that went well. I had even toyed with the idea of saying something to them IRL, as I got a weird energy off them at times. The other one my dad and I are sitting across a table from eachother trying to get some paperwork together. But it's impossible to make much sense of it and what he's saying. He's getting frustrated at me and I am at him. I keep telling him "whoa whoa it's a dream," that's why we are having such a hard time doing this. "You aren't making sense to me either" I say. This went on for 5-10 minutes, but I stayed there not wanting to make him angry. I'm trying to make peace with my DC's, and I figured that wouldn't have been worth it to just up and leave him, knowing I may well wake up seconds later anyway.

[Novise]

Decent quantity and a few adventurous dreams that I didn't fully record. But I would basically be playing an RPG game on playstation or something, and then I'd find myself inside the game as a third person perspective. I notice when I don't write them down the moment I wake up, I tend to feel that they were longer than if I had. Maybe forcing my mind to focus on the details takes a little bit away from the bigger picture. WILD progress: I did have a WBTB sort of WILD again in the early AM. I lay down and I was getting visualizations, sensations of flying, and eventually a dream formed. It lasted only 10 seconds. I was running down a hallway being pulled by the hand of a little girl running beside me I thought. I looked down to see that it was actually a boy. He nearly ran me into the wall and I strongly thought to myself: "This is a dream! I know it's a dream!" Seemed we were in a hospital, but I woke up. I think the realization that it's a dream wakes me up in a WILD, I have had two like this that ended abrubtly now.

[Novise]

Most notable of my past week + of dreaming was a non-lucid false awakening in which I saw the face of a man reflecting off a TV screen. I thought "eww spooky" mockingly, but it didn't scare me at all. So then a ghost enters from the doorway and comes at me, then another ghost shaped like a werewolf. They were so fake and moving so unnrealistically that they didn't even frighten me, my heart beat may have risen a little. I've noticed FA's much more often since coming to dreamviews. I begin to wonder if some ghost sightings and paranormal events, strange noises are actually brought about during FAs instead of real awakenings. But I have to make an excuse for myself because I haven't been doing a lot of dream journalling. My environment at home is more distracting now than where I used to be. I really never included that in my recipe for success in dreaming. If you live with others who distract you incessantly or make noise randomly around the clock, this is yet another hurdle in your way. And almost enough for me to say that if you live around people like this, it may well be what makes it so hard to get that first LD. It can ruin everything from the way you fall asleep to the way you wake up, to your energy level. And usually people that distract me like this aren't bad people obviously, they are just unaware and saying something won't change anything. Dreaming in itself is amazing, and I still have some great dreams. Just nothing that really follows well, like a story, that I would feel would be good to post. Only other really notable thing to add: some of the DCs in my dreams are amazing to be around lately. I look on them with awe and joy and they are just hero's to me. I am lucid and I think about not protecting myself in a moment of danger to see if the saintly DCs (who are of people I know in real life) will save me. And then experience what it is like to be saved/rescued. Maybe that is what's next for me. Don't let me get you down, keep up the dreaming. It's always great. I'm just put off by my environment lately.

[Novise]

31.10.2009 Meeting Steven Gerrard (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Many of my friends and I were at this party. It was at a mansion of sorts with this huge deck, that more resembled a great treehouse than a deck. Trees grew up through it, and it had at least 3 stories of varying space and height. We were having a pretty good time but the conversation and mood seemed to be a bit serious. Maybe it was just serious about the drinking and the drugs, I don't know. Anyway there were lots of great girls there, but there was this one big guy who was sort of causing trouble. People were sure he was going to go off before the party was all over. There were also little dogs at the party and a lot of people, including me were really amused by them and loved them. The party seemed to have a soccer/football theme to it, and whoever it was for was extremely rich. I went to exit the treehouse after hearing the big guy making some trouble and people murmuring about it amongst the party. When I get into this dining room there is Steven Gerrard. He has just arrived. He was there to sign autographs and be there for the man who the party was for. I walked past the door to the room he was in 2 or 3 times before I got the courage to bother him. As I did, things changed. People formed a line and he began furiously signing autographs on slips of paper he brought, putting messages on them. So by the time I go up to him, he quickly writes his autograph and just hands it to me. I'm like "dang all I wanted to do was say hey he didn't have to do all that!" So all this stops, and he sits at the dining room table inviting us to sit with him. So myself and 3 other guys who all played soccer sat with him. I kept wanting to ask him stuff but they seemed so much like interview questions I just didn't say anything and listened to the conversations he had with the others. Now the cute girls come in and this beautiful young lady starts flirting with him, and another sits on his other side. He just sort of grins and lets them sit there. It was obvious they had never met. I thought to myself, "Now THAT does make perfect sense." That's all I really remember, may have woken up and re-entered the dream later, but Steven Gerrard wasn't in those which I'll continue in the next post. I did tell him "Congratulations for everything you have accomplished." And he appreciated it. Steven Gerrard is the ultimate football hero in my eyes. I was very starstruck when I saw him. On his note he wrote to me he had scratched out what he was putting, as if he couldn't decide what to say. It said something generically positive that I don't remember. And signed in the bottom with perfect handwriting but a bad pen perhaps, STEVEN GERRARD.

[Novise]

31.10.2009 Tidbits, DEILDs, FAs (DEILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This was a lot of DEILD, FA sort of stuff. It's jumbled together as they were all based on eachother. I dream I'm going to stay out on this campground for a while, maybe a month or two and see how it goes. I am walking out there. I have no car. It's a really long walk, 2 miles or so. I remember being more aware of this fact the first time I began to walk to the grocery store. A nice lady greets me and I walk past a few people, some drive by me, on the way to my site. Time goes on and they offer me a job at their booth, saying I can stay there for free if I help them with it. I don't know the specifics but it was a really great deal, very little work for being able to stay for free. So I agreed. This was when I woke up and had a lot of FA's and DEILDS. I was driving in my car this time, down a dirt road probably in that campground. I looked at my hand, it looked very normal but I pretty much new I was dreaming. So I floated up and out of the car, through the roof. Up in the air I began trying to become a halfling and start to do my thing, but I woke up. Then I go right back into it, and this time I'm walking I think. Anyway on this one I'm paying more attention to what I see. And it really doesn't make a lot of sense. I know I'm in the woods and looking at them, but my visuals are weak. I try to fly a little, and wake up. I wake up to a FA, I immediately knew it to be a FA. I'm sitting indian style at a chest of drawers. I look into the already opened drawer and see a small wooden chest. I laugh to myself thinking, "alright the contents of this box will surely tell me something about myself" So I open it and I am really disappointed. It's nothing in there but some things from my childhood (Maybe some baseball cards and colored pencils and a few other things), nothing symbolic at least that was my sentiment. I don't really remember what the things were. I feel myself starting to wake up. I decide to relax and allow myself to do so, so I can start another dream perhaps. But I don't wake up. I look around, "All this is real." I'm not really asleep, I think. I'm totally awake I think. I sort of laugh at myself thinking about a post I read about thinking you were dreaming when you weren't.Thing is, I don't have a chest of drawers like that, I was dreaming the whole time! I must have woken up and gone right back to sleep because now I find myself in that booth in the campground. Someone is trying to give me a check and I need to give them some money. I know I'm lucid and I consider flying or something, but I don't do it. I just wanted to do my job and give them the money first. I payed attention to the detail around me and the feeling of doing the work, it was not bad. The last thing I remember is driving down a dirt road, away from the party because I have beers with me. Suddenly this car comes flying down into my lane head on collision style, so I get in the other lane and we sort of stick to our guns and avoid eachother. But then, two others and one is overtaking the other. There is just enough room for me to slip by in the opposite lane, but as I do I scrape a tree with the corner of the hood. Everything goes to third person view. The car basically blows up with an initial sort of explosion. It's like it didn't blow up the whole gas tank just whatever was in the tubes or whatever. I'm thinking "Get out of the car." I can sort of feel myself aware of both views, like I'm looking from third person but can "Feel" in first person. I feel for the door handle and get out. Now I'm back to first person and out in a field next to the road. I begin to run for a ditch but I could swear I heard someone say "Snake." And in the ditch is a huge snake, so I try to get behind a tree. Most of the trees are thin but I find a big one. The car explodes totally this time. A lady cop walks up with a clipboard telling me I'm not necessarily in trouble and she needs to interview me. I look down at my hands to see a beer in each one. I weigh them a little to see how much is in each. I finish the lighter one off and nod to the lady. She begins to walk towards a picnic table and I follow her, tossing the empty beer aside, still carrying the full one.

[Baron Samedi]

The word, Snake, jumped out at me. How about open the chest of drawers again, but look in other drawers? Or look for the secret compartment?