Thread: Before I forget You (Inglwz's Dream Journal)

9 May 2008

Yet another dead musician dream. Became Beethoven's apprentice. Upon thinking I would be learning violin and harpsichord (which is odd, because I do not recall Beethoven playing harpsichords?), I was very upset when Beethoven, who was loosing his hearing shortly after his last big concert, two years earlier, wanted me to clean his pianos, bathe him, and make him food. He began to notice I was a very pretty, very young woman, being about 15-maybe-17 in the dream.

He asked me to his room late one night to hear a composition. It was not his own music, but Mozart's, one that I like actually; I told him, "But Ludwig, this is not something you would usually play," and I tried to be gentle, for I was sure he was a madman, and I had a suspicion it was not his work. He flew in a rage and broke the keys off the piano and told me, "Who are you to question genius?" and slapped me so that I fell to the floor. He must have done some damage when he hit me, because the next thing I knew, his nephew was tending to me in Beethoven's own bed.

I asked, where does Ludwig sleep? Surely he needs the bigger bed than I do. To which his nephew told me, "My Uncle asked that you sleep here. He apologizes to the Miss, because he did not mean to render her unconscious." I knew I had been out for at least 2 days, but I was not sure nor did I ask.

I then saw Beethoven sitting at his piano stool, his head in his hands. I got up and did not notice I was naked, but it didn't bother me, because I knew I could trust Beethoven, though he had hurt me very badly. I went up to him and took his hand. "Ludwig," I told him, "I have fallen in love with you." But he did not hear me and asked me to repeat myself, not looking at me.

I let his hands cup my right breast and my cunt, letting his fingers go in a little inside my vagina. I gasped and Ludwig pushed me away, saying, "Little Slut, why is it you haunt me so??" I told him I wanted to make him better; he said "I am loosing my hearing!" I told him I loved him even still, and did not care. I sat on the floor and played with myself, moaning and rolling my head.

The dream shifts to Beethoven playing The Neopolian (The Emperor,) and I had aged at least 3-4 years, but Beethoven seemed to be the same, only he had to use an ear-horn to hear me. You could tell we were lovers, but that he was very hard on me; I had bruises on my body in places, but I knew he did not mean to hurt me; he couldn't hear me telling him that he was too hard on me.

Dream shifts to a Catholic Priest teaching me the Bible. I ask if I am to be a Nun, because I was not a virgin; Father told me, "You shall be a Father." This didn't seem to be a problem in the dream, but we all know that in waking life, a Catholic Priest is always a male. I was inducted into Priesthood and left Beethoven for 7 years.

I saw him again upon going to a concert, only to find out it wasn't his concert, but a funeral. Everyone was wearing black and had umbrellas, and Ludwig's coffin was made of marble and gold-gilds with an angel playing a trumpet on it. I prayed the Hail Mary upon going into the cathedrals, the Heavenly Father upon seeing the Coffin, and the God Bless Your Soul, which seems I made up, when the group had left. I was now a man, and I wore grey, white, and purple with a gold cross on my chest.

I blessed the cathedral, and when I was walking home, I was taken by surprise by an angel, who took advantage of my body. I asked the angel, "Why do you harm me?" but then I was a woman again, naked, 15 or so, and I looked just like I did when I let Ludwig Beethoven touch my breasts. I floated up towards the sky and the sky sucked me up like a ripple of water, and I was gone.


I think I am having more sexual dreams these days because of the fact that I am on my period and am switching my Tourettes pills around. It could also be that I am more aroused by Juan and "him".

May 25th--this dream happened 2 weeks ago, but I was internet free at that time.


I dreamed I was a young boy, maybe twelve or thirteen years old. I was running through my godmother's grape fields, which she used to own in waking life from 1984-1998 but are no longer there, so it added much happiness and pleasure to the dream in knowing I had gone back somehow.

There was no words in this dream; just a sense of belonging, so powerful that I jumped in the air and grew wings. They were pheasant wings, long and brown and pink; and at the tips were emerald green primary feathers, and I thought they were very impressive.

I started to fly amazingly fast through the grapevines; faster than a bird should be able to go--I thought I would break out of my head and into waking dreams, and I was so incredibly happy--so happy it transcends words.

I grew tired suddenly and lay beside a clump of vines. The pole the vines were on was very tall and shot over my head, almost like I was a baby in a land of giant, adult things. I awoke after a brief nap to suddenly realize I was no longer a boy but a pheasant itself. I had no human emotions of joy, but a strong, pleasant feeling of just being alive and surviving.

The only few noises in my dream happened in now. They were not human. I called a bird-song, coor-oolo, coor-oolo, and I attracted a mate. I saw myself bring up many generations of eggs and hatchlings with this mate. I did not love her, but felt a respect for her and would protect her like I would a sister or brother. It was not a romantic love we had but something more primal.

The dream zooms through the years and my hatchlings grew and had children, and their children had children, and I was getting very old. I was out looking at the vineyard and I felt it more than I heard it--the loud bang! of a hunter's gun.

I remember thinking in my head that my blood smelled very sweet, and that it was warm as it seeped through my feathers. A tunnel of sunlight opened in the sky and inside the tunnel was every kind of bird you can dream of: the ones who had died and went before me. Crows, sparrows, chickadees, parakeets, magpies--you can only imagine the many colors.

They seemed to sway like water and as they swayed, they held their wings out before them and made a shifting, swirling mandala. My spirit body was lifted into the mandala, which surrounded me until all I was was another wing in the shifting circle.

I saw my green feathers, which I loved so much, fall from the tunnel and on my body, which vanished without a sound and went away. My feathers became the grass, and my offspring made nests out of my grass/feathers, and then they had many children, and their children had children, and such. My mate came to look for me and she died and rotted and soon became filled with maggots, and then nothing was left except her head, which looked to be in a state of shock and sorrow. It was the only time I felt badly in my dream.

I awoke and had a feeling of belonging to everything and everyone in this universe; like I had witnessed a Nirvana.