Allright, it's been a while since I've had a valid entry, I think this more than makes up for lost time:
11. Rubber Band Man:
I’m walking through some apartment hallway to the home of a friend of mine (although in real life she lives in a house). Now I keep hearing that her parents dislike most of her friends, so I try and get on her mom’s good side, who is talking about some video game, although she ends up asking me if they’ve ever influenced me to kill anyone. I give up on her and continue down the hall to their apartment. My friend’s dad who seems to like me more greets me. She tells me I probably don’t know anybody there, but I find a friend of mine who just graduated high school. In real life he has brown hair, but here it is blond. He’s eating food and mingling with the guests, but they are getting ready to run through a huge underground tunnel that has screaming head statues on the top outside the apartment. This is apparently what the party is celebrating, the annual run through it. It is apparently filled with horrible terrifying things, but the only thing that they would reveal this year is that it is filled with the biggest non-poisonous lizards they could find.
Latter, I find all my friends and myself in Disney World. We go to ride one roller coaster that we already rode again. But I forget I’m still wearing my backpack. I ask the women at the entrance to the ride politely if I could just leave my backpack there, but they tell me no, I’ll have to go around to the lockers. I get frustrated and yell, “Fine then, fuck both of you bitches!” and I leave the ride.
Latter, I am within the video game “The Legend of Zelda, Majora’s Mask” for the N64. I’m trying to guide Deku Link around in an attempt to heal someone’s soul, but it doesn’t work out very well.
Soon I find myself in the world of Legends of the hidden temple. I’m on the steps of Knowledge but I’m doing a very bad job. Kirk asks the audience if they know any great Legends sites, in an advertising bit, but I buzz in thinking it’s a question. I have no idea what’s going on.
Soon that showing of Legends ends, and I’m in a reception hall with a close friend of mine whom I’d like to be going out with. Anyway, she notifies me that she has to defecate, but in the strangest fashion, she says “I have to drop a cow”. Wonderful. Then, I found a form of gum and mixed it with another form of gum to make a flavor hybrid.
Latter I find myself back at the apartment to find that everyone has gone home, but my friend shows me that the obstacle course is still out there.
Soon I’m back on Legends, but the form of telling the Legend has changed, now, for some reason, the screen switches to all these odd maps at random points as the camera pans around the temple. A bit after that, I actually get to meet Kirk Fogg. I get to know him better and he asks what is it like to be such a fan of Legends as I am. Before he could respond, he says something like, he’d like to be me, I mention that I’d like to be him. I also get his AIM address. He says something about how I’d like to live out books, that’s why I want to run through the temple so bad, I go on to try to tell him that I like to write, but it’s too late, as I have to go wait in line for another Disney world ride with Bob Sagget and Uncle Jessie.
As we are waiting, Uncle Jessie sees his old French teacher in line. He has a long blond beard, and looks like a skinny Henry VIII. He tells uncle Jessie in French to talk the student he has with him out of taking French next year. Jessie doesn’t understand. He says it again, in English this time. The teacher also says “She’s already taking “Advanced Mars studies II”.
Then, I find myself back at my grandma’s house. Apparently the door to her bathroom leads into some huge theater where a recital is going on. I try to get my mom and brother to come out, but the only way I can seem to get them to come out is by strumming on a nearby harp. They tell me they don’t want me to disturb the recital. As I walk my mom through the house, I do what I did when I was 5, and pretend each room is a room of the hidden temple. When I get into the dinning room, I eat a chocolate cup cake, as I listen to her tell me that we’ll be going to get the money I need tomorrow (for some reason I thought we’d be getting the money today) I ask her, “Then are we going to Disney World tomorrow?” Her eyes get big and then she looks at my brother as she shakes her head and mouths “No”.
The dream then changes to Italy, where we find the King of the Hill characters Peggy, Bobby, and Luanne. We find a man in a tie standing on the stairs of some Roman building (it looks very Julius Cesar) he is standing with his wife, but for some reason, everybody wants her to leave him and become a lesbian. So the crowd starts throwing things at her and cause her husband to beat her. I see her love go down as it would on the Sims 2 in a number form, until she slowly but surely becomes a lesbian. She then jumps onto a nearby train with a scantly clad woman. Out of the back window we can see her being pushed down onto a bed as the trains speeds off down its tracks. The dream ends with a scene of the King of the Hill characters on another train going home (or at least to an air port that flies to Texas, any who) Peggy is asking about some group and asks if they ever started a war. Bobby and Luanne look confused, but one of them says “Yeah, they make wine, but they never started a war.” The final word in the dream is Luanne sighing, then saying “Yeah, that’s Florida for you.” Which shows her blatant stupidity. As the train pulls out, we see Peggy leaning out the window with a glass of wine on her head. Above the train, it is shown that this is a parody of some Roman wine label.
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Well there you have it, try interpreting that monstrosity…..IF YOU DARE!
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