Thread: DJ ryan

So I had a dreamjournal...apparently it got deleted? Now all my dreams I had on it are gone. Oh well. Many more to come. I'm trying to force myself to record everything again, so here goes nothin'. The dates here are real broken up but whatever.

6/27
Had the WILD – in my room at home with a girl. Fat jolly friendly dude shook my hand after I thanked him for helping me stabilize the dream. It looked sooo real. I looked around in amazement as I thought, “Yep, this is what reality looks like.”

7/2
Dream 1: WILD – Went into it asking for help in stabilizing when I came out the other side. NT was there, and so was BH, but NT was the main one helping me to stabilize. She sat on the bed next to me and I held on to her while trying to get set. As things eventually came into better view, NT's face was still really messed up. Her face looked very fake and her jaw very plasticky and it was almost like I could see the joints or hinge of the jaw. It almost looked like a clown. After some coaxing and pointing out that that is not what NT looked like, she started to look normal.

I tried to make a move on her, but she rejected me, citing the fact that she has a boyfriend. I agreed that that was a good reason, but for some reason I didn’t want to go after BH (go figure). So, I tried to imagine a super hot girl coming into the room, but exactly the opposite happened – some big furry, ugly animal thing came in. “God damn it!” (haha). Well, I think I tried again, but I forget exactly what happened, but I know no super hot girl came through the door. Then I think I made an advance on BH, which was successful, but it ended up not getting too far. Somehow, the scene shifted to my house. I’m not clear how this happened, but I do know that my parents and brother were in the room. I might be missing some key info, but the next thing I remember is playing in the front yard of my house, which wasn’t really my house, because it was on a street that was like the one Baciu lives on.

I suddenly got the feeling of an encroaching danger from down the street, and I picked up my toy, which looked like a tire with handles, and threw it in the house and jumped up the steps, clawing my way in. I felt like I had just averted some disaster. I wonder what was coming? I wish I though of cooler ways to deal with problems when lucid. Next, I was in the house talking to my parents about something, don’t remember what. I went into the living room (which looked like the real living room), and tried to conjure a hot girl again. I said to myself, “There’s going to be a hot girl in the chair behind me when I turn around.” To my surprise, instead of a hot girl, there was a very ancient looking man, along with a comparatively ancient looking woman lying across his lap. Her hair was long and grey. My subconscious was sure being difficult in this dream (actually, I was just going about things the wrong way). Instead of just giving up though, I tried to make the best of the situation. I went up and grabbed the old woman and willed to become younger, taking 10 years of at a time. It worked!

The woman grew younger before my eyes, which was really cool. She was, well, really hot. Which would have been great, but, of course, I made a bad mistake: I willed her to lose too many years, and she eventually became nothing more than a toddler. I heard my dad coming from the other room. I guess I lost a bit of lucidity here, because I willed the toddler to not be able to walk or make sounds and hid it under the chair, and my dad came in and asked me some interesting question that I can’t quite remember. After my dad left, I regained my wits and thought, OK, let’s get the hell out of here.

I wanted to take the small kid with me, which by now had transformed into some unrecognizable animal thing, and it was carrying something in its mouth. It was small and kind of lizard-like, but it had a peach skin tone and was a mammal (maybe?). I put my head against the front wall of the house, grabbed the animal, and forced my way through the outside. It was very cold and icy outside, and we started running down the sidewalk. As we neared the intersection, things started turning very sunny. The ice around us started to melt – streams formed and ran across the yard next to me, over the sidewalk, and into the street. Low-hanging branches, covered in ice, began to lift into the sky as water ran off them and created mini-waterfalls onto the sidewalk. The animal was running through the melting ice, jumping above and below the receding crystalline structures. Across the street was a different world, a world in the height of summer, sending waves of light and heat towards the winter scene I stood in. It was all quite beautiful – too bad I didn’t have my wits about me enough to enjoy it. It looked pretty, yes, but for some reason my mind wasn’t focused enough to truly appreciate it. I know this could have been one of those majestic lucid moments, the kind where you just look around, stunned by the beauty of what your mind can create. Alas, I was hurrying away from the scene, as I had some foreboding feeling again that made me want to run. I continued down the sidewalk, and saw an apple fall from the branch of a huge green tree. For some reason, I screamed, “HEY, AN APPLE!”

I realized I had been screaming at the animal to go away, and I was almost scared at this point – of what, I don’t know. But, I was also still lucid, so I went and picked up the apple, thinking to myself, “This apple is going to taste SO GOOD (because it’s a dream, etc.)” However, I found it hard to bite into the apple. For some reason, my jaw wasn’t working quite right. It did taste very good, but I could only get a little bit in my mouth with each bite, so I was starting to get alarmed that something was wrong. Clearly, I was far from being in full control, though I was lucid. I continued running and found myself in a strange house. In the first room I went through, I got the feeling that I was in the anime BLEACH for whatever reason. There was just a certain feel to the room that made me think if the anime – it was long but narrow, and it was wooden, with several open desks and dressers with various articles of clothing strewn about. I wish I was in complete control, because being in BLEACH would have been awesome, but I hurried through, still uneasy. Then I started to feel VERY uneasy, and I came upon a mirror.

I looked in, and saw myself, and the only way I can describe how I looked was “dead.” Not full-blown, zombie like, but my face had these weird red patches and my clothes were torn and my eyes were rolled back in my head. I took a closer look, and saw my pupils, and they were small and very empty and ghastly white. At this point I freaked out. I wanted to wake up very badly for some reason, and felt like I was stuck in the dream. I have never had this feeling before, it was pretty bad. I ran screaming from room to room, unable to wake up. Then, closed my eyes, intensely thinking about waking up and screaming, and finally did.
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Thus concludes the longest – by far – lucid dream I have ever had. It was pretty inspiring. I’ve come so far, and I am looking to get even better and more calm, taking control while letting go. Staying calm, I have found, is the key to most things lucid.
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Dream 2: Can’t remember this one very well. It’s a shame, too, it was kinda cool, if scary. I was a character in a video game. I remember flying around through a jungle, with what looked like Mayan structures covered with moss/vines/etc. I flew into one of them, but there was an incredibly hard bad guy that I couldn’t beat, and it was stressful and frightening. He (or I?) had very long razor claws and was a humanoid. There might have been 2 of them. It might have gone to third person at some point.
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Dream 3: The only reason I know there was another dream is because I remember thinking my roommate was up and walking around and dressed, and I was thinking, damn, I wish I were asleep and dreaming. Then, later, I was really awake, and he was fast asleep in his bed. So I think there was something else to the dream, we might have had a conversation, but I forget.

7/31/07

Bunch of broken dreams. Only remember a few things:
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Dream 1: In a house with my family. Maybe on vacation. Me and my dad were going through the scarier parts and closing windows, locking doors, etc., so the “bad” things couldn’t come and get us, or it just made us feel safer or something. Remember closing a big door-like hole in one of the walls. I told them I was going to go to New York City and I think we got in a small fight, with me pleading, “If not now, when?” and saying I had never been before but even mom had. We were going somewhere (home?) and couldn’t decide if we had enough time to get there in one day, it was 4:30, and I said, yeah, I’ve left at 4:30 before (from school?) and gotten home in one day no problem.
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Dream 2: In a war. I think I was part of the Americans and I was fighting either the Russians or Germans, can’t say for sure though. One scene I remember is it was me and 3 other guys. I was the ranking officer so I was commanding them. Our unit had been overrun and we were the only ones left, out in the battlefield, which resembled the Halo: CE mission 3, the one where you start off with the sniper rifle. I knew we were totally screwed but I was going to go down guns blazing if I was going to go down at all. I saw the enemy rapidly advancing towards us and order my men into a choke point that offered some rocks as cover.

I ordered 2 of the men to their positions and told them to watch our backs (we were holding a choke point, but the area was so overrun that it was possible the enemy had surrounded us already. The other man I ordered into position to work with me. We started lighting them up, I got a few good kills it, 1 or 2 headshots. It was WW2 clothing and weapons, everyone was using rifle-like guns that I think could fire in short (2-3 shot) bursts as well. The fight didn’t last long, though. I heard my partner sputtering, looked to the right and saw he had been hit multiple times in the chest. I turned back and there were 3 enemies charging towards me. Bop. Bop Bop Bop. Right in my forehead. Man that was a weird feeling.

Looking back on the battle, 2 things stand out: 1) I shouldn’t have ordered the other two men to watch our backs, I should have only ordered 1. My thinking was that we could work in pairs, but in retrospect, it was much more important to focus all our firepower on where we knew the enemy was. Focus should have been on taking out as many of them as possible, not trying to survive. 2) After I got shot in the forehead, I didn’t really go down. So they shot me two or three more times and I slumped over and the dream ended. I am reminded here of the end of the first matrix when Neo gets shot. It’s like I almost didn’t know what to do when I got shot. Like, wait, what? I’m shot in the head? What does this feel like, what does this mean? I could have turned it around and become immortal and saved the day if I had realized I was dreaming. Woulda been sweet. Too bad I had no Trinity to kiss me.
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Dream 3: Don’t remember much here. I was in the bottom floor or basement of some school-affiliated building, and had to get access to some files in the computer lab. There was a Meg-looking girl (hot!) there who wouldn’t let me in...unless, she informed me, if I was willing to have sex with her. Uh…if you insist, I guess…wish it worked like that in real life. So we went into the lab and started getting naughty right there on the floor. The sex was great at first, then turned surprisingly lackluster, as it felt like I had a condom on when I didn’t. Oh well, dream-sex is a fickle thing.

She was worried that her supervisor was going to come in, and sure enough, we hear a rattle at the door and spring apart just in time to throw a jacket on (though it was clear to anyone with 3 brain cells what was going on) the door opened. It wasn’t her supervisor, though, it was to of her girlfriends, both blonde-haired and pretty. I was embarrassed so I went about looking for the files on the nearest computer (the room was square-shaped and had about 15-20 computers along perimeter). This is where it gets hazy. I remember looking at 4 different screens, one by one, and saw myself in them as if there was a webcam pointed at me from the monitor and fed back into that monitor.

That was for the first three. But the fourth screen was different: it was still a webcam, but it was showing as if the webcam was placed behind the computer, so I could see the backs of three or four computers and could barely see my head. This made me mad and confused me, because I knew the webcam was in front of the computer. And, I looked like Zach Braff (or, more correctly, Dr. Dorian). I don’t remember what all this meant but it had something to do with the file I was looking for. I either found it or gave up, and by now the whole computer lab was filled with people, on the floor and whatnot. Might have been some kind of movie playing. I told the girl I had sex with her cell phone was over by the computer I used, then left…?
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Dream 4: Don’t remember much here. Just know I was in the living room of my house and realized I was dreaming. Decided to go straight up through my house and start flying. Had to go through three floors. I got slowed down a bit but I think I made it through.

8/02

These dreams suck because I’m writing them 9 hours after I woke up without thinking about them all day. Something is better than nothing, I guess.
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Dream 1: Some kind of soccer dream. I remember being in my house at home, and my parents were there. There were also 3 friends who were on the same team I was on. We were getting ready to go to a game, or possibly on a car trip to a tournament, but I’m pretty sure it was just a game. It might have been against the “best” team, or our rivals. We were all taking showers, alternatively. I had to go to the bathroom so I went in the bathroom while one of them was taking a shower. I started to piss in the toilet, but I think the person taking the shower (Pete) motioned me to go away. So I backed away, but I had to piss so bad that I just went to the nearest space and started pissing. It was hard because…well let’s just say it was hard…but I managed to relieve myself.

Unfortunately, it was right into this big black basket thing that had a bunch of stuff in it. Upon closer inspection, it contained a bunch of my stuff, including electronics, videogames, cds, etc. All my friends were like dude what did you just do, and I felt embarrassed but I didn’t want to show it so I just made up something about all the stuff in there being broken, anyway. Don’t remember much after that, something about being late and not being able to get into the car because it was locked, and running around searching for my socks.
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Dream 2: The airplane. What an image. All I remember here is being on an airplane in one of the back rows on the left side, and my friend JD was sitting there along with 2 other people I can’t remember. The row was four seats long, with someone on my right, then the isle, and JD in the seat on my left, and someone else at the window. I don’t remember who they were but I think I knew them. What a crazy feeling when we were taking off. The inertia was so much that I was sent sliding out of my chair, backwards, backwards, backwards through the chair, my whole torso and head and waist sticking out behind the chair (imagine a movie-theater style or lawn folding chair where the seat goes up and there is space you can fit through between it and the back).

The feeling was so great and pressing upon my body, my friend was trying to calm me down, but I just had the distinct feeling that the plane was going to crash and we were all going to die. I looked out the window, and the sights were so beautiful. Green, huge trees, and other things that I can’t rightly remember, but I do remember thinking Ryan, calm down, even if you are going to die in a little while at least you can still enjoy this beautiful scene. This worked a bit to calm myself down but I still felt very tense. I looked that the inside wall of the airplane and it had a little legend on it that read something like this: (5-9 hours: you’re okay – 9-12 hours: Start to get worried – 12-24 hours: Jump off the plane if it hasn’t gone down yet). These aren’t the exact wording but that was pretty much the jist of it. Parents are pissed but the kids love it (sorry, couldn’t resist the rhyme). I remember that the plane ride was supposed to take 9 hours. So, I guess that chart was telling us how screwed we were if we hadn’t reached the destination in a certain timeframe. 9-12 there was still hope, but not looking good. I think I thought that was the timeframe I was going to have to make some sort of decision. But I don’t remember anything else.
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Dream 3: Very shady memory on this: In a room, started making out with a girl, then she transformed into a larger, not as attractive girl that had some specific title which I can’t remember, like “Official Study Leader”…yeah…Anyway, then I was in another room in the same building and these two guys in suits were walking towards me, and I knew they were coming to get me or arrested me, so I sprang into action. I punched one of them across the room, or kicked him, but either way it was a fantastic strike. The other one threw some punches but I twisted in midair and evaded. Grabbing his collar, I swung him around and across the room; he hit the wall and crumpled.

Then I ran into the next room where there was a boy in the corner, and he came at me like the other two so I picked him up with one hand and bashed him against the wall. His back hit against a board sticking out from on of the file cabinets and he cried out in pain, I knew he was incapacitated for the moment so I didn’t do anything else. ~fin.

You’re dreams are long. But interesting.
I’ll be tagging along.

Originally Posted by Necco

You’re dreams are long. But interesting.
I’ll be tagging along.

Thanks...6 months later.

Going to start it back up again and hopefully keep at it...had too many good dreams lately that I am forgetting. It is soooooo hard to write things down when I wake up, all I want to do is rest!

2/7 Fragments...

Dream 1:

Was at a house back at school w/ RJ. He was mad at me because I came to visit but didn't call him or hand out with him. To be fair, I was only in town for the night, but I still felt bad.

We were at a dinner with a host of different people, some of which I knew and some that I didn't. We were sitting there watching TV, and I was talking with someone about my favorite TV shows, and "Scrubs" came up. I said I LOVED Scrubs, but my friend said she didn't. I replied, "How could you not? Scrubs is simply the greatest, most ironic...(stumbled over my words)...show ever. It's the best!" She said she didn't know, she just didn't like it." I said "What?! You even look like the blonde doctor on the show!" She was wearing green scrubs and a blue doctor outfit. She shrugged and walked away.

It was the character from the show. How I did not become lucid, I will never know. I can't even count the layers of irony.

There was a big rush towards the door, and I sprang around the room looking for my shoes and socks. I was the last person to get ready, but to my surprise everyone was squeezed around a small dining room table for dinner. They were puzzled at why I got my shoes and socks, but I just said I thought we were leaving and squeezed myself onto the chair they left for me.

My friend JT brought out the main course, which appeared to be some sort of roasted potato/onion affair...imagine a sweaty, oily onion-potato hybrid. And there were only like 5, to feed 15. Ugh. Never got to taste them, though, I woke up.

Dream 2:

In this dream, I was the hub of drama-city. Two dream friends (not RL friends) were dating, and I was hanging out at their apartment (like 5-10 stories up a fire escape stairway type-thing). Boring story short, the boyfriend leaves and his best friend comes over and starts getting too touchy-feely with the girlfriend. I don't really know any of them that well so I dont know what to make of it, but as we are leaving the apartment they act very guilty as two neighborhood girls see them arm in arm.

The boyfriend comes back and asks me what's wrong, as I look troubled. Now, I don't want to go tattling on anyone here, but I certainly think that something should be said. So, I mention very carefully that maybe his friend has been getting a bit too close to his girlfriend, you know hugs, sitting next to her on the couch, etc. I don't remember what his reaction was.

I am now down the fire escape stairs and getting into the car to go home. This is where things turn extra weird.

The going is fine at first, we are on a country road with a few trees on each side but mostly just great plains scenery. A fence also lines each side.

The road starts to rise...slowly at first, but then it gets very steep, soon, the road is very nearly vertical.

Other cars are zooming up and down no-problem, but my car has come to a halt, and, fearing for my life, I open the window and grab ahold of the road, which has now become a gigantic ladder of sorts. A white fence might be more accurate. I am clawing at each plank in the white fence (think Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and the bridge scene), desperately trying to reach the summit, which is in sight.

Then, the portion of the fence I am on begins to break and totter away from the sheer face, leaving me dangling in midair and flailing to grab the next plank that is quite out of reach.

Then I wake up!

4/4

Dream 1: A long one.

I was in an underground facility much like where Jack was held in Season 3 of Lost. I had just killed a guard or two and was in danger because one of the people that I befriended after I infiltrated was coming down the hallway to check on me and the guards.

I was frantically pulling on the long black thing. It looked like a box or roll of aluminum foil, with black material rolling out of it, but when I got to the end of the roll there was a sort of control panel with red buttons. (this description is pretty bad – don’t remember exactly what it was).

As I hurriedly put the black thing on under my outer clothes, I sighed with relief as the girl outside in the corridor approached but did not open the door. She was asking if everything was okay and I convinced her there was nothing to worry about and she left, telling me to hurry up because there was another task to attend to or something. I remember the black thing being key to what I had to do next, but I couldn’t let the other person I know I had it on underneath my gear that showed me to be one of them.

I smiled with grim satisfaction. Was what I am doing right? I wondered. I had befriended this group of people and have now turned on them, but the only ones who knew that were dead. I had to keep up the act; I couldn’t take them all on at once. As I buttoned up my outer snow jacket, I fought back tears. I knew what I was doing was right. I must lie for my country. I must kill for my country. It had to be done so I could get out of here alive.

I headed out of the underground facility and was met with a hill or mountainside covered in snow (pretty sure there was snow). Another person came to greet me and was asking questions about or informing me of the next task, and I chuckled to myself with amazement at how easily I could deceive.

But something went wrong. I don’t remember the next exchange too well, which sucks because it was vital to the plot of the dream. I was on higher ground, hanging from a tree perhaps, and the person, who resembled Jack from lost, was grilling me. Interrogating me, almost. I think the general line was he knew all about my little scheme and who I really was, and it wasn’t going to work so I should give it up. I think I tried to play dumb. Tempers flared.

I came down from the tree and we went behind a little house and next to a wooden, picket fence. The fence had a gap in it, not by design but by accident, and we stopped there as other people started gathering around. I vaguely became aware that the Jack figure was explaining to me all the good that their group did, all the great things that came out of his organization’s activities. He was trying to make me see they weren’t bad. For example, there was a guy there who hadn’t done X in X weeks (I forget what he actually had quit doing, but there was a specific thing, or metal box, he picked up off the ground and threw it back down to demonstrate his abstinence).

For the rest of the dream I have much better recall.

The scene shifted to me playing cards with my friends. The people around me became my friends from back home: John, Jamison, James, Nigel, and Nick are the ones I specifically remember. The brown wooden picket fence became a picnic table at which all of us were seated. Jamison was on my left, John was to his left but diagonal of me, Nigel was across from me, Nick was diagonal to my right and James was on my right. The cards we were playing with resembled a pack from my childhood from Ocean City: A yellow border with blue in the middle and colorful letters.

John was dealing. I had a Queen – Ace, both red cards. The flop came: Ace – Jack – King. At first I didn’t think I had a straight, but then I looked at my cards and back on the flop, and somehow concluded I had a straight. Perhaps the cards changed. For some reason, there was no betting, but John folded (Jamison was already out). I could tell he knew what I had and I was mad at him because he was dealing my cards face up (!) so he could see them. Now thoroughly confused, I watched as another Jack came out. Great, Nigel had pocket a Jacks so he had three of a kind.

But wait, did I still have a straight? I asked Jamison if three of a kind beats a straight and he said yes (lol) so I got worried. But then a Queen came on the river. I had three Queens! But wait, I thought I had Ace – Queen. What the hell, I have three pocket cards now? Oh well, now I will win unless Nigel has a full house. So I shouldn’t bet all of my THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS (yes, I had large stacks of bills on hand) or else I might be sorry. But wait, where did the Queen go that was laid down on the river? Why are there random cards strewn about the five in the middle, some of which were upside down? Why was there a card with a graphic that looked like a wispy, elvish outline of a Queen, were we playing with Jokers? Why did I know what Nigel had already?

Obviously, at this point, things were not making much sense to me, but I was going along with it. I might have figured I was dreaming if this continued, but we all abandoned the game and were walking across the street to enter a large building. We were now in the city.

As am walking in the middle of a street, I see a woman approaching me. She is beautiful – dressed (I think) in a jumpsuit with green or silver lines and solid, dark blueish or purplish color. She has long black hair parted in the middle. She asks me to come with her. I take a look at my friends entering the building and think they will wonder where I am, but I would like to see where this will go, so I head off with her.

[COLOR="rgb(0, 100, 0)"]The rest of the dream will be hard to write. It gives me chills/the heebie jeebies. I wish I could remember the conversations word for word.[/COLOR]

I was walking on her left, viewing her profile. Her black hair shot up for a moment, then went abruptly downward in a part in the middle. If you’ve seen Sephiroth’s hair, you know what I mean. She had a lot of makeup on. I found her less beautiful, but was still consumed by desire to be with her. I started to worry this might have something to do with the operation from the beginning of the dream.

“You are not who you think you are,” she told me. My stomach turned upside down. What? I was confused. Afraid, wanted to run away. But I didn’t, couldn’t. As we passed the corner of the building, I saw a black dude in a cool jacket and cool hair (maybe dyed green?) He stared at me and I stared back, convinced he was one of them. The woman I was with kept on explaining to me all the reasons I had no idea of my true personal identity.

I felt scared and anxious. What did this mean? Who am I? Am I ready to know who I truly am? Can I handle being faced with a new identity after all these years of thinking I’m something I’m not? Will the stress kill me?

“What about my friends?” I asked. Leading my downhill on various sidewalks in the city, the woman just looked at me. I began a flashback. I was at work. I could hear the woman’s voice: “We had to keep you separated,” she was explaining. Explaining how everything I thought was true was actually a cover up. I saw myself opening the door at work, which was blocked by a big comforter. A man walked in and was asking how I was doing. I was telling him about my project and about all the people it would effect. But now I saw that I was self-contained. Not really working on project. Not really working on anything at all. It was a just a program these people had set up for me to keep me contained. There were no others on the project. Only me and my hallucinations.

The woman then starting questioning me about phone calls and text messages I was receiving. She told me about this company that had defrauded people out of an incredible amount of money and they were trying to track down anyone who had business ties to them. She asked if I had received phone calls from them. In fact, I had, and I had no idea what they were about. She pressed me. Why had I spoken with them on every single one of my birthdays? She asked. I told her I did no such thing, I’ve never spoken to an actual person, only heard a recording. Why was I lying, she asked? She accused me of being part of their ring. I was in trouble.

I started yelling at her. “YOU THINK I’M LYING?” I screamed. “WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THIS!” I kept on yelling, but she was backing away, afraid. I told her I only get this angry when people don’t believe me yet I am telling the truth. She was now across the street. I tried to calm down and tell her to come back, that I was sorry I yelled. I just want to know who I really am.

The woman explained how dangerous I am. Asked me to remember all the times I had lost my temper, even recently. Asked me to remember raising my voice at the woman in the corridor from earlier in the dream. Asked me to remember raising my voice at the Jack-like figure who knew my plan. She told me these were all terrible things.

I didn’t believe her. That’s bullshit, I said. “What, so I’m never aloud to raise my voice?” A man in a police uniform came at me. He resembled the fake bearded guy on Lost. They were all working together, I knew it. This was some sort of operation or experiment and I was the target/specimen. He held his hands up and together as if they were handcuffed, and I thought he was going to cuff me.

But he didn’t. I was ushered into a room off of the street with concrete walls and ceiling. The room wasn’t closed, there was lots of sunlight coming in from various openings. There were about 15 people gathered around and I was standing next to a police car. Everyone was looking at me expectantly. Who were these people? Were they my friends or enemies? Who am I? What the hell is going on?

I attained a very low level of control/lucidity. I summoned my drummer friend, not quite on purpose, but because I was yearning for a familiar face that would calm me. I saw him dressed in his polo shirt and exclaimed, “here he is, the man with the [style] from 1980 but the [mind] from 3036!” I tried to make the statement as ludicrous as possible for some reason, and I wish I remembered exactly what I said. As I was exclaiming this, I became more aware this was a dream, because of the sheer ridiculousness of what was going on.

I launched into the air, hovering for a moment near my friend, struggling to keep afloat in the air, then switching to my back and sinking down onto a concrete wall between me an my friend. As I did this, everyone’s eyes were fixed on me in fascination. There were a few visible sighs from the audience. Like they collectively thought, “Finally.”

This confused me. I had just shown I could fly or float. But I didn’t have much time to be confused.

A man approached and grabbed a hold of me in a vaguely hug-like grip. We lifted off the ground and sailed through the air towards a wall. Reaching the wall, we stopped abruptly and accurately, then angled up towards the ceiling and other wall in one fluid motion. Now THIS was flying like I had never experienced. This was controlled, graceful movement, the joy of flying matched only by the elegance of the flight path. Usually when I fly, it is in very straight lines, at high speed yes, but changing direction is extremely difficult. This was wonderful, guided, purposeful movement like I had never before felt.

The man set me down. Now I understood. Everyone here knew my “powers” to some extent. Knew that I could do things like fly, or summon, or control the environment. They all could in some fashion as well. Whether they thought I was “dreaming” and they were DC’s, I’m not sure. But I did know I didn’t want to be outshined.

As soon as he put me down, I didn’t wait a single moment. Determination filled my mind. I can do this, I thought. If he can do it, I can do it. I lifted off the ground with everyone watching; this is what they came for, after all, to see me in action. I glided effortlessly and in a controlled fashion towards the wall. With great skill, I stopped before I hit and turned in the opposite direction in a fluid motion. I had never felt anything like it. So easy, so peaceful, no struggle at all to stay afloat or battle against momentum. Just a simple, knowing turn. I flew to the corner where wall met wall, near the floor, and stopped just as easily. I encountered a bit of resistance as I contorted myself in strange positions to face the room again, but hey, this was my first time. I flew back to the center of the room.

The others in the room looked on with admiration. I knew they found it amazing I could do this so easily and so soon after “waking up”, and I get the feeling that many there had been training for a long time to reach that level or might not even have reached that level of control yet. My heart was racing incredibly fast; I hadn’t felt this level of lucidity in quite a while. My heart was racing when I woke up!

4/5

Writing a few days later so very broken recall.

Dream 1:

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<o:p> </o:p>
I was frantic a moment before, but looking around at their faces (about five or six surrounded me) I felt an odd sense of security, like I wasn’t the one they were looking for.
<o:p> </o:p>
The head agent grabbed hold of my arm and said something like, “We’ve got you now.” I told him he didn’t want me. I wasn’t a “re-boot” (this might not have been the term – I guess it was sort of akin to a rogue program in The Matrix, but more like an entity that had officially died but then been reenergized and had special powers).
<o:p> </o:p>
One of the agents broke away and fled. The main one was still holding my arm, and I, thinking through the logic of what was going on, became lucid. I continued to explain it wasn’t me that they wanted, but the “re-boot” that just ran. He was pretending to be one of them, but he wasn’t. The man, who kind of resembled Jack from Lost (geez, lotsa Lost lately up in here) said I had to go after the re-boot and destroy him.
<o:p> </o:p>
I sprang away, but found my way blocked by a boarded up doorway. No problem, I thought, I’ll kick through it. The wood bent and thinned like warm plastic, but I couldn’t deliver the forceful and decisive blow I had planned. With a few more kicks than I would have liked, I tore away the plywood and began the chase.
<o:p> </o:p>
Don’t remember what came next.
<o:p> </o:p>
Dream 2: Actually, I think this is a continuation of the previous dream.
<o:p> </o:p>
I forget how exactly I became lucid or what was happening previously, but when I did, everything went dark. This annoyed me, so I alternated shouting “light” and “increase lucidity” until I had some stability and sight in the dreamworld. It was a bit of a struggle. The light flickered intensely for a moment, then everything was colored very oddly, as if I were in a world made of watercolors. Kind of cool, but I was concerned because I didn’t have much control. I decided to try to run fast.
<o:p> </o:p>
As I punched my legs into high gear, I felt something lash out and constrain me. My back felt like it was on pins and needles. I turned around to see a series of tree roots coming from a huge line of trees swaying and buckling, yet connected to my back. I ripped them out and attempted to speed on, but it happened again, only this time to my back and front. Cursing, I yanked them out and continued on, this time taking to the air and flying.
<o:p> </o:p>
I got about 10 feet before the roots were back, sticking into me like they were feeding off my body and movement. I was seething at this point, furious that I wasn’t being allowed to fly and sprint at full speed, but I had retained my lucidity through the frustration and pain. I broke the remaining roots clinging to me and defiantly shoved me hands out in front of me, yelling, “Disintegrate roots!” A few lines of blue energy cackled out of my fingers and smashed into the line of trees, which were floating in air with their roots wildly swaying everywhere.
<o:p> </o:p>
It is one of the first, if not the first, energy attacks of mine that produced anything, let alone successfully defeated my foe, so I was very proud. I did it a few more times and watched as the trees and roots shivered and withered with electric energy. Then I was on my way, racing up a path toward my enemy.
<o:p> </o:p>
The next part is hazy. I think I was in front of a castle, talking to a boy, but then my enemy came at me. I tried to use an energy attack on him, but either completely failed or didn’t hurt him.

5/10/09 I'll give some of my dreams titles now. It's just cooler that way.

Dream 1: Dinner Party

I was driving in a car with my boss. I think is was my boss's car, because it was super nice. I forget what we were talking about, but I remember having a great, candid conversation.

The weirdest part was the seat I was sitting on was a toilet seat. I just figured it was normal because he had such a nice car. Geez, what an opportunity for lucidity wasted.

We got to the dinner party and I had to sign in at the guest book station. The guest book was pretty cool - it was several sheets of clear glass, with a guest's name on each sheet, and you signed your name with a black dry-erase marker. I couldn't figure it out at first because there was also a line for "dinner", but then I saw a menu on the right listing out choices for appetizer, main course, dessert, etc. I forget what any of the choices were.

The whole area for the dinner was rather striking - it was an open air courtyard where greenery intertwined with the furniture and the canopy overhead was of a see-through material that let it just the right amount of light to bathe everything in a golden glow. Everything was white, gold, and green.

I don't remember anything else.

Dream 2:

I looked at my watch a it was an hour later than I expected. I figured it must be the day to "spring forward" and felt sad my Sunday was cut short.

Dream 3: Lucid Gangster, Part One: The Call

One of the more interesting of my recent dreams.

My memory of this dream picks up partway through and is pretty fragmented: I was sitting outside on the street with my friends in front of some random house. We were just chilling, drinking, and having a good time. But there was a commotion coming from the house, and everyone felt trouble was brewing.

Two huge dudes barge out the house, completely wasted and slurring their words over everyone's ears. They were looking for a fight. I forget what exactly for, but I stood up to them for something and therefore drew their ire. Realizing that if I pushed then any harder, I would have a brawl on my hands, and I didn't want to get pulverized by these dudes or end up in jail, I just sat there and quietly took it while they poured beer on my head.

They went back inside and I thought it was all done, but the main baddie came back with a glass of I-don't-want-to-know-what, and chased me around the street, pouring it over me. This is when I was afraid things would continue to escalate, and I told my friend PJ to never leave my side.

Nothing ended up happening, and we left, walking down a huge white staircase. My mom showed up but I forget what she said. Maybe it was that I left something back at the house.

In any case, the next thing I clearly remember was being asked to "Come with me..." by someone/something. Just then, I get a call from Frank Lucas (the main character in American Gangster, played by Denzel Washington). He said I needed to head right away to his place in south china town. I thought, "Why would a gangster want anything from me?" and left it at that. Big mistake!

I thought sure, why not go with this dude in front of me, so I followed the person through a series of doors and passage ways, growing increasingly concerned about where I was headed as the surroundings turned from nice and bright to foreboding and gloomy. Mold covered the walls of some passageways.

They let me to a chamber with the "boss". I forget what the boss was. Nothing good. The chamber was littered with scientific equipment; this was a place for heavy-duty experimentation. At this point, I realized where this was headed, so I ran away down a few passageways, but they were all dead ends. My enemies must have known this, because they just laughed and didn't try to catch me.

I heard them turning on some piece of equipment. All of a sudden, everything made of metal in area jerked. A very profound wave of energy emanated from the corner of the chamber, and nuts, bolts, and metal objects started skittering toward it. Oh-no, I thought, they turned on some sort of electromagnetic device. Waves were forming in my vision and I struggled under the pressure. I could feel my filings being pulled out and put my hands in my mouth to stop them and was drawn toward the device.

They were just laughing at me. When I got to the device, I realized this must be a dream, because this doesn't happen in real life. I launched straight up into the air, flying though the ceiling and flying as high as a could to get away from them. Everything turned black and I though I was waking up, but...

Dream 3: Interlude

After the blackness enveloped me, I "woke up" in my old bed and knew I was still dreaming. And look, there's a pretty female with me.

Dream 4: Lucid Gangster, Part Two: The Getaway

I was back in a dream, non-lucid, transitioned from my bed scene earlier. I don't remember the beginning of this dream at all. We pick up the action in the supermarket.

I was walking the aisles with a friend, commenting on how strange this all seemed. For example, why did I have the feeling that everyone here knew me, but was going to lie about it if I asked them? I explained to my friend that it was like in a lucid dream where you tell people you are dreaming, and they just look at you like you are crazy. I walked by two ladies that gave me odd looks, and said to my friend, "See?" The whole situation just felt odd, but I couldn't place why.

I turned around and there was a black dude with a sideways cap pushing a cart and starting intently at me. I exclaimed, "What, are you going to lie and say you don't know me, too?" He pushed the car hurriedly toward me, grabbed my arm, and spoke sharply to me in a sharp tone as he rushed me towards the registers.

"What are you doing? That offer to go to china town was REAL. You need to get out of here," he said.

I was stubborn. "What? What are you talking about. What do you mean it was real? Who are you?"

"Come with me now. They are COMING."

I didn't believe him. Everything felt so weird and I didn't know what to do...but I seemed to remember something bad happening the last time I "went with" someone.

I tore away from him and headed for the exit. However, my way was blocked. A long line of policemen were marching in the doorway, headed by the police chief. They were coming directly for me.

A lightbulb went off in my head. Was this a dream? Was this real? (this was a very vivid dream, so it was hard to tell). I yelled out to the man who tried to help me, "Is this a dream?"

"Those are not police officers," was the answer. Whether from him or from my mind, I'm not so sure.

I sprang into action. Punching the first baddie in the face to buy me some time, I sprang to the side and tried a charge-up attack. It barely worked...I could feel an energy within me, but I couldn't properly harness it and the punch fizzled. I ran towards a solid black glass window. There was a commotion now as they organized themselves, and I tried to break the glass with a punch. Nothing. I tried sliding through the solid glass. Nothing. Desperate, I floated up to the top, finally slipped through the glass, and was on my way.

Shit. I need to get to south china town, I thought! Frank Lucas was trying to help me!

I remember now, earlier in the dream, before the supermarket, I saw Frank moving into a new home with his wife.

I flew high and far, concentrating on finding south china town and Frank's house. I landed in front of what I thought was his house, always looking around me to see if anyone was coming. I floated up the stairs, trying to test my new controlled flying method, but it wasn't working too well.

The door was locked. There was a for sale sign on the lawn.

Crap, what do I do now? And there was another problem: There were a few guys walking up the stairs towards me. I felt sure they were here to get me, but I tried to act nonchalant.

I remembered Frank had called me earlier. I whipped out my cell phone and searched for his number...there it was: Frank Lucas. As four or five guys came up to the concrete landing where I was, I hit "call". Ring. Ring. It picked up!...But it was his voicemail. The recording was for me. He told me once I found the house, to find the dresser in the upstairs bedroom. Open the top drawer and click the board out of place. The he was tell me what to do next."

I had no idea if I was at the right house. I asked one of the guys if there knew where Frank Lucas lived. I could tell this was the wrong question to ask.

"Why do you want to know where Frank Lucas is?" he asked menacingly.

I could feel things deteriorating quickly. I had to do something. I looked at the guy on the left and felt weakness in him. "Hey! Aren't you the guy everyone's after?" I exclaimed. The guy looked confused. "Yeah, it's all over the news. There's this dangerous guy looking for Frank Lucas, and look, YOU show up at his old house."

The men looked at each other and paused, but it was all I needed. I took off and was flying away.

Too late, though, there was an entire battalion of officers after me. They lined the street in what looked like a parade. Some had blue uniforms on, some had red. The red were bigger and had some measure of floating/flying ability, and they scrapped at my ankles as I floated by. My precision flying wasn't working too well, but I didn't want to go into super-uncontrolled mode...I needed to learn this flying technique.

Too close! One grabbed my ankle. I twisted in the air and sliced with my arm, trying to get away. They were closing in.

Then I woke up.

I need to listen to my friends in dreams! I have learned they put me at ease and give me confidence, which translates into power and control. Too bad it often feels like I am surrounded by enemies.

5/25

Dream 1: Progression

There was a first, non-lucid part to this dream I should have written down, but now I forget it.

I was in a bedroom standing on a bed with someone else. The bed was pretty high off the ground, maybe five feet, and it had softly glowing white/blue sheets. It was one of those beds with the posts on each corner that rose up to form a canopy, with wispy white cloth blowing around the upper portions. The rest of the room was pretty black, except for maybe an opening or door off to the side.

Some scary stuff started happening. The wind was picking up even though we were inside and a green smoke trail flew in the room and starting flying around the bed, patrolling the perimeter. Stuff was shaking, or maybe it was my imagination, and the feeling of dread was intensifying, especially in the person I was with, who started freaking out.

The scariness of the situation brought me to lucidity. Nothing this scary usually happens in real life, so this must be a dream, I thought. My first instinct, surprisingly, was to confront what was causing the fear. Even though my companion was protesting, I reached out to the green smoke thing flying around the bed. I made grabs of it and tried to hug it into slowing down and showing itself.

I knew what I was doing wasn't normal, possibly even "against the rules". For some reason, I knew this was a very taboo thing to do - I "should" have left the thing alone and let it terrorize us. But I had a mission!

As the smoke thing slowed down, it materialized into a figure remarkably similar to Jada Pinkett-Smith, with shoulder length curly black hair. I was firm in my words: "I know this is not normal, not expected," I told her. She came closer...we were close enough to whisper. I felt a power emanating from her and my resolve hardened as I realized this thing was not evil, just very powerful.

I told her I wanted to progress. Or something. I don't remember exactly what I told her, but it was something to the effect of I wanted to get better, know more, improve, etc. I felt like I was speaking to someone who could see my potential and was very excited that I had the courage to face her while she was "terrorizing" me and my friend. But I sensed I still had much to do or learn.

She agreed and disappeared. The room turned white and normal looking, and I opened the door and stepped out onto a beautiful, yellow beach. The sun was pounding down and the weather was stunning. I recognized a bunch of friends lounging around, playing various sports, and playing in the water.

Still extremely lucid, I was eager to try out things and interact with everyone there. Imagine if in real life you were at the beach with all your friends...and all of you could break the "laws" of reality! Endless fun.

I lifted into the air, dodging a large and colorful umbrella, and floated over towards the water. I spied a couple of ladies sitting in some beach chairs, and made my way over to them, speeding up a bit. I was having a little trouble controlling my movements in the air exactly (that's one of the things I am working on - precision air control). I touched down and one of them looked at me, but I forget if I said anything or is she said anything.

Flying was just too fun, and I wanted to try some different air techniques. I might have said, "Watch this," to one of them but I can't remember.

I took to the air, spinning in a 360 motion, slowly and gracefully upwards about ten feet, and then came down in the same fashion. I drifted slightly to the right, which was disappointing, because I had tried to go just straight up and back down. While spinning twice in mid-air, I went into a sort of kneeling position where my behind was resting on my heels, and I turned my hands upward and outward, holding my middle finger to my thumb, in almost a meditative pose. (I was basically trying to show off for the girls!) I landed softly on the sand just and the next wave was coming in; it splashed all over my face.

I pulled my way out of the water, which was harder than it should have been, and coughed a little water out of my mouth. I went up the beach towards the grass a little way because I saw a couple friends, and noticed everyone was gathering at the water. (note to self: next time, run across the water).

Everyone was going skinny dipping; the awkwardness and embarrassment of seeing all these naked people, some of them my friends, and the prospect of having to be naked myself made me lose lucidity. I turned around and headed to a beach house with one of my friends.

We went up a very wide spiral staircase. The stairs went around the inside of a dome with a diameter of about 15 or 20 feet. As we neared the top, we heard hammering and sounds of construction and noticed the stairway was not quite finished. At the very top of the stair, where a door led to the outside, was my friend Nigel's dad. He was working on the stairway. We had a short conversation about something, I can't remember what.

(I'm tired of writing so I'm gonna skip details and description)

I went back down the stair, which was open air now and not walled off and very high up. The circular platform was very treacherous. A person I work with and my mom were with me. I spotted several places that were rickety and told them to stay there while I found the way. The person I went with was very grateful I pointed out a bad footing she would have stepped on and fallen off. I made my way around to the green grass next to the cliff and turned around to tell my mom to wait for me to get back so I could show her the way.

My mom went over a middle platform that wasn't there before and that I hadn't checked out to make sure it was safe. I started yelling at her to wait, that it was dangerous. She was walking very fast. She crossed the center platform and the bottom fell out behind her and she stumbled a little bit. My heart skipped but she was okay. But then a split second later the panel she was standing on buckled. She fell on her back as the panel gave way and fell into oblivion. I ran towards the cliff screaming at the top of my lungs.

I continued to scream at the top of my lungs, feeling unparalleled pain and anguish. I considered jumping off the cliff after her, ending the pain. I continued to run around screaming, and noticed a bunch of people gathering around, pulling out cellphones, pointing. Were they pointing at me? (Had I failed a test? I made a step towards lucidity with the woman in the bedroom, and took one back by losing it then not realizing I was dreaming now). I ran towards the cliff, fell on my stomach, and felt a very strange sensation: I was on my bed. It was just a dream.

5/27

Fragment:

Lucid where I fought a guy, I might have had teammates. I was using a sword like thing I conjured. I was gaining the upper hand with physical attacks, but the enemy used a freezing attack: my leg started to turn blue and felt ice cold. I tried to counter with warmth but it wasn't working.

1

A soccer tryout, out team was combining with another team
the defense was being dropped, there would only be midfielders
I couldn't understand why they would do that, the coach explained its because he thinks we play better when Manzo referees (ha, this doesn't make any sense)
i said i would rather have my mom referee than Manzo
went up to my room, my dad tried to reassure the coach i wouldn't quit, but i was going to quit