Dream Journal of a Cancer

Hi everyone! since this is my first entry im going to might it somewhat short, also because i have company arriving any minute. ANYWAYS, i still havent been able to achieve lucidity :( but have been trying for months now, i guess not hard enough. I've read so much about lucid dreaming, although ive only been interested for about 9 months now. its amazing. period. i've been keeping a journal of my own for the past 5 or 6 months, but im going to keep them here from now on. So quickly, without details, heres last nights:

someone i love, who lives across the country was in town, he called, and was with some of my best friends, as well as his, i was in my kitchen, it was around 11 AM on a fall day, he said he wanted to hang out later. soon enough we were at my house, just talking and talking about very random stuff that i dont remember, and my entire family was sitting around us, not paying attention at all. or at least thats what it seemed, (and thats strange, because they dislike this person... alot) ANYWAYS.. we decided to go for a walk? got all dressed up with our jackets and such.. started up my street, then another friend of mine drove up, stopped.. and seemed really excited to see the person i was with, i was upset, who knows why.. and then i woke up :(

ok, one more thing.. i have dreams about this person very often, and whenever i have dreams about someone, i feel inclined to contact them, or feel alot closer to them the next day... is this normal!?

quick details only:

billy, ryan and i decided to go to CO, drive there in billys car. we were driving, got pulled over, we werent doing anything wrong. popo said there was a warrant out for ryans arrest (he was driving) because he bought alcohol for underage kids (and it was for me so i felt weird) he was the cop who pulled me over before in gilford. but we were already in another state. they took ryan. i had to go somewhere, mel, billy and ryan stayed at hotel room. mel and ryan were talking too much. i called them on my cell because i was on my way to work, i was mad because mel made them breakfast. at this point it seemed that we were all on vacation. next thing i know..

im following my mom to logan airport, and i got off the wrong exit in manchester, so much traffic, and the highways and exits were crazy looking like i was in the future. so i get lost, and i find my dad in manchester (he works there) and i have to find my way through all these holes and pink insulation and doggy doors to get back to my mom. its basically a construction site! people are trying to keep me out, but i find my way there. now im on a cruise! im supposed to meet my mom, ryan, mel, billy, sarah, and other family, but im with amanda cass? she shows me where i can drink and fills my water bottle with bacardi, im high up, looking down over a balcony, and i see my mom. i go down there.. and she tries to take a sip of my water bottle but i dont let her, shes with my sister, its a really fancy thing, all ritzy and stuff.. thats all i remember

Oh i just remembered so much more. i worked at shaws, me kaitlin jess and jenn were upstairs with all these creepy people they made us into statues with no arms and we were totally fine (thats when i shouldnt realized i was dreaming) and i had a dog , it was weird.

so, he was in my dreams, once again.
when i woke up, i remembered much more, but failed to write them down at the time, leaving me with only that certain dream. jen, mel, kaitlin and me were walking around downtown Portland, OR. having an awesome time, and there was all these shops that had everything i loved in them, and there was so many! like they had zen stuff, lucid dreaming stuff, sun, moon, jewerly, pieces (but only small ones) yuing yang stuff, and thats about all i remember, but they were very colorful stores and very appealing to me, and i would find a new one every like 10 feet. SO jen and mel were like call him call him call him, were in his home town. and i wouldnt and didnt want to call, i was too scared of something but i dont know what. we kept walking back to this pool, where we swam then took showers all together. then i just knew that he was on his way to see me, so i started frantically getting ready. plus, this was 2 hours before we were supposed to catch our flight to go home and we'd been there for days. so kaitlins helping me in the shower, then him, carl, and steve were sitting on a bench, watching me shower because there was no walls! i just kept cool for a while, then i reallly needed to shave? so i went somewhere else, and took forever doing so. the tension was building because i knew what we were going to do and i was very excited. unfortunately this is when I WOKE UP. :( i tried to get back into, didnt happen... :(

last night i dreamt that i was 7 months pregnant. i was in the library with felicia and i remember being SO scared about the birth. all i could think about was the pain, and i didnt want my baby to come out! i dont remember details, but this was the gist of it.

when i woke up, i felt really bad for this friend, being 8 months pregnant and still in high school would be so scary! i admire her for being so strong through it.

ok ive been really neglecting to write my dreams down as soon as i wake up, and the importance of that is huuuge. so im posting this as a reminder to myself. use your reaaal dream journal again, then copy them onto here!

oregon/beach/melsfam/nick

in oregon with mels family at the ocean. the beach is on a downward slope all the way until the water. its sunny hot and beautiful out. there is TONS of people all around us. but i keep looking for *him because i know hes gonna show up. the whole time im nervous and i keep looking around to see if i'll see him, but im playing it off like im not. mels family decides to leave, so we walk them up to their car, and they keep asking me about my cell phone and if they have my right number, i say yes like 23432 times, then we run back down the beach into the water. and out of nowhere NLR runs out and pushes me in, and hes making me look at the fish in the water RIGHT next to me like almost touching my face that im really sscared of. i could see under water, it was very clear and looked just like the ocean. sooo he never came. end of dream.

Art room B & J visit

ok, so in the art room with mel and makepeace and a few others. b & j come in. im very excited to see them. i give b more attention that j, which is very strange. the room was very bright and artsy, and awesome. j & mel start talking, i get jealous and go over there. B & J are now sitting on the table, and J & i kissed, but it wasnt passionate, and there was no connection, which is weird. because we have crazy passionate energy, and we were both like what the hell!? i dont remember much after that because i suck, but no more kissing or anything was involved.

speaking of waking up with songs in your head, this morning i woke up with 'red rag top' (Tim McGraw) and the lyrics, please dont stop.. lovin me, in my head. and i havent heard that song in forever.

there was a reallly chill place on belknap mtn. rd. that at first no one knew about, it was just a really cool hang out, like a yoga studio, with a bunch of other rooms where alot of us could go and hang out, then people that were not very fond of started coming there like every day. mel and i were playing with erin wheelers dog and she told me that it didnt like me? i was talking about this place on top of the mountain that i loved (it was incredible) and they were laughing at me. so weird. then i was in the place, and i was walking around naked.. with cole bettoney, but it was totally normal. then we decided to play a prank on all the girls we didnt like.. and i thought we should put tons of food coloring in their laundry detergent, so that all their clothes would get ruined. pretty funny if you ask me, so mel kaitlin and i drove around for a while thinking of what we'd do..

mel and me. in a city. alley actuallly at night not many people around. everyone thought we were criminals. we were wanted for something. mel, me, and eric lewis? and some other kid go into this pot shop, and i know it is one it has alll this cool shit, but i acnt find any bongs or bowls (ok this is weird, because i dont smoke often) but anyways..i didnt find any and when i thought i did, it was an action figure. so we go out of the store and are looking around and we see a car full of people im friends with, or just know, and its a really random bunch. i only remember courtney and sam, and they were on their way to the club, and had invited us before. i ran over and layed on the windshield like pressing my boobs against it trying to be funny, they all laughed, i laughed. i got off.

so me and mel walk into this huuuge furniture/office warehouse thing, with 3 floors and just tons of stuff everywhere. then we they found out we were the criminals, we started running SO fast, jumping over everything like stunt women, first i was following mel, then she followed me. we were doing crazy stuff like in movie jumping down floors and up stairs and over all sorts of stuff.

HERE comes the INTERESTING/cool part:
we got to the top of the building, and were catching our breath, and realized were safe. we start talking, and i asked her what she just dreamt about. she said exactly what i was thinking (which was what i dreamt) and i was like, mel, oh my god, we shared a dream, it finally happened, this is so awesome. and we both realized what had happened..

THEN I WOKE UP! this was crazy because the whoole time i was dreaming. today i asked mel if she had any weird dreams, and she said she didnt remember any :(

but... i think its awesome.

B, D, mel and i were all hanging out. we picked them up @ PSU then we went to some restaraunt/bowling place. it was weird, we saw my brother,chris chambers, verne and chris's girlfriend. i was scared my brother would be pissed so we quickly left. On the way out miah called B, then my brother called me so i couldnt hear the other convo. shane was telling me that it was ok, he wasnt mad and would even be cool with it if i was with miah. end of conversation. when B got off the phone with miah he told me that miahjust didnt care about me, i needed to really get over it, and he just repeated how he would never care as much as i did. i acted like it didnt bother me, mel and i got into the car, and B & D walked down to this hotel? mel and i drove down there, over stairs. the whole dream was fairly dark. this is all i remember.

shop n save, dad was there, alllll gilford kids were there, then i was supposed to leave (was with mel most of time) saw barry, talking to him. *the store was dark the entire time* my dad was checking out, but it was just like a big party in the store so i wasnt leaving. then love walks in, says he wanted to surprise me. his hug was amazing, i was shaking and it was just awesome, then the rest goes from there.

surf coaster with mel it was raining, we didnt have bathing suits we had these weird things. jenn and jess came and went down with weird stuff on too. miah came and all that happened was i got his number. later i asked my mom for a membership @ LASW, she said no, i was pissed. i was hiding something in my room. we went to this house thing it was me mel jenn jess amanda. perry came, and a popo was watching us right outside, then he ran over to look through the window and we noticed it was dustin. we shut all the blinds and hid in the bathrooms for a while then i yelled out for him to come inside. i told him that he was an unbelievable gorgeous man. he was. then i was gonna bring perry home but their were criminals outside parked around my car. we went out, they shot at us, we ran back in and hid. they shot through the windows and hit mel. i told dustin to call for help. he just helped us all hide. we were all scared. moral of the story: dustin=woooah.

portland, beach, love

finallyyyy.
this dream started out with me in portland, by myself, walkin the streets. i went into some hippy shop, saw a bunch of cool stuff. The owner of the store (a tall, bald, chubby guy) came over and was like, 'i will take you right to the bach'. he showed me the way, i walked through an empty room into a biiig studio, dimly lit with about 9 kids sitting around painting (and all their work was amazing). the room was filled with art and i talked with alot of them for a while and decided i would come there more often. i left and continued down the street, then turned around and went back into the same shop. this time when i walked into the 2nd room, it was a big house. nicole hanlons mom was in there with a few more kids i knew (chill, bryan, etc.) i hung out there for a while then she told me i could sleep there for however long i needed to. this whole time i wanted to be by myself, and explore on my own. and about 3 days went by. i thought about calling miah to tell him i was there, but i didnt.
next thing you know im back in gilford with mel, were walking down the street to gilford beach, but on the sides of te road there are huge shelves with tons of new backpacks and car fuels and oils on them so we decide to steal some. were trying to decide which ones to take then mikey fortier and a few other kids come over and tell us to go ahead and take them. we do, then continue to the beach. i have my hair braided in pig tails and i feel like i look horrible. mel and i are sitting on the beach looking out to the water, and i get this feeling that miah is coming. i turn around and hes there, with josh willis, hugging him and what not. i ran to the bathroom to see how bad i looked. i didnt look horrible, but it wasnt pretty. i heard footsteps and it was him, we hugged reaaaally tightly for about 5 minutes, then went back into the bathroom. we couldnt wait. it ahppened, on the toilet!?, and i was on top. obviously it was awesome, i love whenever this happens, but anyways...here was this lady watching us who wanted to get in on the action, and she was like 35. i looked down, and she had a boner! i was shocked and told her to leave, so she did.
NEXT thing i knew, miah and i were at the airport to get his luggage? we were having fun and sliding down all these crazy rafters and stuff we werent supposed to be doing. then we went down to the people who would ID him so he could get his stuff. they asked who his girlfriend was, and he got a pic out of a magazine to show them. they shook their head no, so he got another one, and they shook their head no again. he grabbed me and said that it was really me, they all shook their heads yes and smiled after they wrote down my description, then gave him his luggage.
after this there was a girl who was trying to seduce miah for the rest of the dream and he wanted it, but he refused to do anything about it. and there was a guy who was trying to seduce me, but i didnt care and wasnt attracted to him. we were back at this sketchy house and those two people were there. miah was doing something seemingly important with an envelope so i didnt bother him. then i went and looked into a bedroom and saw that lady with the boner and the guy tryng to seduce me under the covers together. i quickly left. told miah and we laughed our asses off about it. then i woke up.