Dreamt an odd series of events, leading to a lucid death where I didn't wake up

I registered because I've been struggling and had this dream on my mind for the last few days. I'm wondering if perhaps anybody can help me figure out a little bit about it. If this ends up being too long, I'll place an asterisk above the paragraphs I would most like to hear back from people about.

So...I'll recount what happened. The ending culminates into something that was somewhat life-altering for me.

The first part of the dream I remember, I was going into various houses of dream characters that I don't recognize now, but in my dream apparently knew. I also had some sort of reason for wanting them dead. There were three of them that I intended to kill, and I was spending time in each of their houses and waiting until they had all gone to bed to leave a note letting them know I was going to kill them. I believe I was doing this with the intention of killing them at a later date, as I didn't intend to kill them right away. (This doesn't make much sense to me in a literal sense, as I'm not going through any anger issues, though I imagine it can surely be symbolic of something)

The third house I was at was a girls house. I was sitting atop a bookshelf in their living room which slightly resembled a childhoods friend's house mixed in with various TV show living rooms I recognized. I felt oddly comfortable, and then as the family went to bed and the girl was left alone downstairs, I realized she would notice me. I saw her look up at me, and I said to her "You know, I always wonder what goes through the mind of these people that know I'm going to kill them. What does it feel like right now - seeing me sitting up here?" There was a dialogue after that though I can't recall it. The next situation I remember involving me and this girl was oddly friendly. I had come down from the shelf and this girl did not have a face I recognized, and at this point in the dream I realized that even my dream-self did not recognize this girl. For whatever reason, we gave a mutual hug, but rather than receiving the same hug I gave her she leaped onto me and wrapped herself around me. This made me uncomfortable as I didn't know her, and I was also not attracted to this girl.

The next part of my dream shifts to an alternate view of this same house during the next day. The family of the house is together conversing, and I was a passive viewer who couldn't be seen. I viewed the family sitting around and speaking, and a woman in the family begins to tell a story she claimed to be true. Paraphrasing as best I can: "This man... he left his freezer open in his house and became very cold, and then locked himself out of his house. It was snowing and he wasn't dressed well enough so he went off looking for a home to stay in to get warm and get help. He entered into an old woman's house... and when he got in there the old woman fed him ice cream. He eventually froze to death at the hands of this old woman." During this conversation the family empathized with the man verbally. I had some sort of understanding that this man was not in his right mind - like he may have been under the influence of something that was allowing him to undertake any instruction given to him.

The dream shifts to my viewing of a school play, though it was certainly strange. On the stage a girl was being held up behind the curtain whilst creating a very unrealistic illusion of her flying around the stage. You could see people holding her up, and even her being held up by people actually holding her under her skirt. I wonder if my closest friend is anywhere in this play, or possibly involved at all, and I look at the judges who are constantly appearing and disappearing, rotating to different people. When I take notice, my closest friend appears as one of the judges. At this time the front area of the stage begins filling with blood and I realize it's my appointed job to suck up this blood with a syringe and collect it into a beaker. I do this for awhile until my dream shifts once again.

*
This is the hardest part to explain in words... but I'll try my best.

At this point in my dream I began to become somewhat lucid. Not lucid of the fact that I was dreaming, but very aware of my body and where I was. I was aware that I was in an alternate state of consciousness and I thought I was alive, but simply somewhere else. I was on a large bed with black covers which fit me and around 4 other people comfortably. I didn't recognize the other people there with me. We were lying down and conversing, though not verbally. Other than the bed there was nothing in the space we were in, except for these... semi-spherical little orbs floating above the bed. Each had a knob on them. I had an understanding that the "knob" determined what year the universe was in. Me and another member of the group on the bed realized these were alternate universes we could switch to. Out of curiosity, we switched to one. It was the same bed in the one we switched to, but the surroundings switched to a very natural setting. There was grass, trees, mountains, etc... and it was more lit. We realized that the universe we had switched out of had become inactive and was no longer usable. I found this a bit distressing, but out of curiosity we switched to another one because we noticed it had water in it which seemed interesting.

We switched this new universe, and there were all of the same settings and placement of the natural surroundings, only now with an added stream of water. At this point I also noticed that there were no other universes we could switch to and I became very worried. Looks of fear gathered on those around me, and everybody began to panic as we realized the water in this new space we were in was beginning to rise. We all were fearing for our deaths, as we knew it was imminent. At this point I was fully lucid in what was going on, but still did not understand that it was a dream. I was very much convinced I was alive, but that I was about to die. I looked at the guy on the bed next to me who I had been connecting with and exploring the universes with, and after hearing exclamations of worry from everybody, I realized I wasn't nearly as worried as them. This was odd for me because, like most, I would wake up at this point because I was about to die, but I instead realized I was somewhat calm, collected, and ready for whatever death would be like. I told everybody "Well... just embrace it."

A large rush of water came over the bed, and my perspective took on that of the front of this wave of water. I observed everything in this space I was in (the mountains, the sky, the surroundings, and the water) swirl and spiral into this completely new space, unlike any I had ever been in. I felt as if everything was swallowed by water and then pulled into a small black hole, and as I and everybody else in the bed fell through this black hole, we were momentarily dissolved. I wish I could piece together exactly what this experience was like in words, especially what I was seeing and feeling. I was very much convinced that I was dying and for the moment I was moving through to this next plane of existence I left my own body and ceased to be any physical being.

Soon enough I, and these other members of the bed ended up in a large black room. At this point the way I felt emotionally was very important... I would best describe it as... Well, I'm sure many people here have had some sort of traumatic life event that completely changed things. After that happens, your mindset becomes "This is how things are now - and they're very different than before. And they can't go back to how they are before. They can't - I feel too different. Things are far too different now for them to ever be the same." I believed I was wherever I went when I died, and there was no way I could ever go back. I'm not religious, nor do I believe in a heaven or a hell. I tried my best to think about my previous life, but it was strenuous and I couldn't remember almost anything. I felt uncomfortable, but tried to regain my sense of stability in this new existence. I realized I was in this large dark room with these people for eternity, and I wanted to make the best of it.

I initiated dancing, and soon enough all the people around me from the bed joined me. I felt more at ease dancing and it took my mind off of the fact that I had died and gone on to wherever I was. I wondered if perhaps eventually I would die in this existence and move on to another one again, so I thought I would make the best of this one. Lights began to appear on the ceiling and the floor, and then began showing up on the walls. They were dancing, moving and swirling in synchronization with music that was beginning to play. I was confused whether or not what I was experiencing was completely subjective, so I spoke out and said "I know this might be weird to ask you guys, but I'm curious... I want to tell you guys what I'm seeing and you tell me if it's only me or if you're experiencing the same things." They told me that wasn't weird at all. "Well - just now on the floor I saw two large green glowing orbs swirling around each other, each leaving large green trails... did anybody see that or was it only me?" The guy I had connected with from the bed excitedly told me "No no, I saw that too!" A woman that was on the bed said, but not as enthusiastically "Yeah, I saw it. It's not just you." Nobody else said anything, and most continued dancing. I then continued dancing and describing everything I was seeing on the walls which were forming various intricate glowing drawings of people and patterns. This same guy I was speaking to would chime in and let me know how interesting what I was seeing was, though he was no longer paying attention to the walls.

After a time of dancing the eerie fabric of this place began to dissolve as the room stopped glowing and I realized the floor, walls and ceiling were not just complete black. They were black fabric, and there was a door. The door opened and somebody I didn't recognize walked in, and light shone into the room. I realized this place we were dancing in was a small room secretly located in a place I've enjoyed hanging out with friends at. This confused me... I thought I was dead? Then, another door appeared and opened though it was made of glass. A man I recognized off of a comedic web-series was in there, and people began laughing at him for various reasons. He tried closing the door but somebody in the room opened it and we all laughed.

I then became uncomfortably warm, fell to the floor of the room and began rolling around in agony, sweating uncomfortably. The floor turned from solid to flowing and soft... like a bounce house covered in blankets. I then woke up in my room, under a heavy blanket with the heat turned all the way up.

I looked around very confused for a minute, then let out one of the biggest sighs of relief I'd ever let out. I was confused how I could have been so far gone and ended up back in my bed somehow. I'm still somewhat convinced I was somewhere else completely. I wasn't able to sleep for an hour or two after I got up, as I was in shock. I was very glad to be alive though.

I am not experienced with psychedelics, haven't been taking drugs, no sleep medication... nothing like that.

I apologize for the length of this post! I don't know if anybody will even want to help me try and understand what happened, but maybe it'll be entertaining to anybody who chose to read this far! :cheeky: I'd love any feedback.

Hope all of you are doing well!

a lot of people dream of dying and wake up thinking they've had a profound experience, or scared out of their wits. But all it is is a schema of death that got activated and the dream followed it through.

Dreams are all about your expectations. If you see something frightening in the dream it can then turn into a nightmare - if you think you're going to die then that's exactly what will happen. And because death is such a mysterious and frightening experience the dream of course becomes powerfully charged with emotions.

Forgetting about your past life and deciding to just get on with the new experience is just the way the dream handled the idea of being dead. Essentially you activated a schema of profoundness that lingered on after waking, as powerful emotions from dreams will do.

If you want to become more well-informed about the causes behind dreams and how they effect us, you ought to read Stephen LaBerge's Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming. It's the best resource I'm aware of on the subject.