Quote Originally Posted by gomad View Post
I defiled myself in public?
DCs are dream characters.

Sorry bad terminology. The DC you were with wanted to commit sexual acts in public. Since you didn't refuse, you then had to find a private place, which was a goal that the DCs could easily find a way to deter and they did by presenting you a situation which was unacceptable.


Quote Originally Posted by gomad View Post
That's exactly what I thought. I thought I was being excessively private, and that my fear of everyone watching us was manifested in my dream, rather than what actually would have taken place. That in order to "reap the lovely grind" I need to learn to handle attention, positive and negative.

Still, I don't know why the fat guy would kill me because I yelled at him, or why the act of revenge was so horrifying. Who is he? I don't think he is god, given his appearance and pathetic situation. This is what I think: He was my physical opposite (good looking vs ugly, with people vs alone, in bright room vs in dark room), so if I were acting as my ego, then he would be my shadow. Since I was excessively private, he held the virtue, being comfortable with attention, that I lacked. That would mean that my death was a brutal form of punishment only the shadow could commit. The shadow has taught me something.
Yeah I think you're right about that. The concept of Ego vs. Shadow is kind of interesting, I have not heard of that before but it makes sense.