Dream: There is a man about 15 years older than me (I am 37) who is doing his best to fight against some evil aliens. The aliens are unseen but their presence is menacing. He is at work in a steel room which is about 25 meters long and shaped like an anvil with circular doorways at each end. The room feels heavy and he is digging with a long handled shovel.

The digging is a way to defend against the aliens. He goes to leave the room but the aliens have sealed him into the room- it was a trap! He is trapped! They send him into deep outer space, rather than kill him outright they want him to suffer the insanity and alonenessness of hopelessness. The overall feeling of the dream was dark and menacing.

Interpretation: I am out of touch with the older male side of myself, I have rejected him. I am the menacing aliens. I have banished my older male side (elder/guide) to my deep sub-conscious. I have sealed a part of myself off from myself. I am driving myself insane and creating hopelessness in my conscious life.

My conscious life: I am autistic. I have poor social skills. I have long not been aware that the "daily struggle" is one I avoid because I do not "fight" each day with people. I do not fully understand the human tendency to want to be "over" another.

I am often told to grow up, to stand up for myself~ however, I tend to not recognise that I am being challenged. I find it difficult to accept that these challenges from others are the "daily struggle" that people seek to be released from.

I must learn to fight. I must engage my anger, not dig deeper within myself fighting myself. Sealing myself away from the aliens, I need to make contact with them/me. I am often called an alien or machine.

Challenge: To fight clean, with heart and to see it as taking responsibility for my self respect not as an aggressive act against another. I need to learn to recognise challenges from others~ to accept that perhaps many actions of others are challenges. I can create the way to fight which doesn't require me to stomp on or "eat" another.