Thread: Dream Infidelity

Originally Posted by Kincet

Hello!
I'm in a situation I've never had before. I'm in a relationship of about 3 years with a wonderful gf. But, almost every night for the past year I've had a certain reocurring situation in my dreams.

What happens before isn't always consistent, but at some point in the dream, I am distracted by something or someone. When I turn my attention back to my gf (who is always in the dream), she is making out / having sex with someone. This always angers and upsets me so much I wake up.

This occurs more than once a night, when it does.

Please, I would appreciate an analysis. I've got my own ideas, but I could use a more knowledgeable voice.

Thank you in advance.

-kincet

Ouch. Well, the gf in your dreams isn't really her so I wouldn't go along with any theory that suggests she is really doing this irl. (Not based on the dreams, that is). The dreams do, however, tell you a lot about yourself. This is what I think - and I accept there will be many other interpretations as this is an inexact "science" and I am going on a few sentences from you. So take that as a "health warning".

Sounds like you have a belief that you're not special to someone special to you. (Freud called this the Oedipal Complex, notionally formed when we first realise that our mother has someone more important than us in her life). The rl consequence is that you perhaps want to trust your gf but you harbour doubt. No amount of assurance from her will help - it's your issue.

How to deal with it? Well, £/$/EUR 1000s of psychoanalysis would do it. Or at a simpler level, accept that it's part of your character. You'll still have the dreams but perhaps in time you'll learn to love the dream version of your gf whatever "she" chooses to do with her body.

Your girlfriend in your dreams represents a feeling you have (as would any female in a dream) By presenting your feelings or emotional self in the person of your girlfriend, the scene can be illustrating something about those feelings you have which could relate to your girlfriend. Thus we could see the scene as saying that when you hold the feelings you have, you end up being very disloyal to yourself emotionally – as you can see the girlfriend being attracted to another man.

The dream shows that there is a way of thinking you have (represented by the other man) which has managed to seduce or mislead you emotionally. This always seems to happen when you are distracted by something or someone. This would imply it happens when your mind is not paying attention to the feelings you have – probably those related to your girlfriend.

{Are you perhaps feeling that your girlfriend might find another male more appealing or attractive to her than you are? As she is seen making out/having sex with someone else, could there be feelings about not being found sexually adequate? The scene shows that at an emotional level you are responding to thinking which does not honour yourself .

well dreams if translated correctly should link to feelings that we know to be true. Perhaps your dream symbols should be interpreted in the following way
DISTRACTED: If you do not pay full attention to your girlfriend you fear she will lose interest

Its really just an anxiety dream. The truth is that you have a girlfriend that you feel is wonderful... and that you perhaps do not feel worthy of her. You feel your luck is too good to be true. Perhaps you realise and understand how important she is to you and how lucky you are.
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Many dreams simply link to very immediate urges and problems which demand attention immediately. If you are sexually aroused when you wake then interpret the dream in that sense. It is likely to link to involve sexual and fleshy emotions. It will include a real sense of excitement.
http://www.unclesirbobby.org.uk/dreamessayhowtopost.php Interpreting dreams
http://www.unclesirbobby.org.uk/dreamessayhowto.php Triggers for dreams
http://www.unclesirbobby.org.uk/dreamessay.php Dream dictionary
The pages above all help you to learn the basics of dream interpreting