I have been having 3 reoccurring dreams/nightmares concerning one of my Exes that I dumped. Me and her were off and on form 2012 through 2015. We shared many of the same interests, emotional problems, and we were both very introverted.

My Dreams
1. I am running through a dark forest filled with fear and confusion. The sky is red and flowing almost looking like blood on a black background, and the trees leafless and rotten. At this point in the dreaming I am wearing a light colored bluejeans and blank T-Shirt/Normal clothes that I usually wear now to not stick out. In the dream, I don't know where I am. I eventually run into my ex tied to a dreadful rusty machine that seems to be hurting her. So, I feel the need to help her. Not out of love, but out of goodwill. Then I get electrocuted by the ground, until I start reaching out for her for help. Deep down inside I feel like I'm being punished for the reason I ran to save her. The electrocution stops when I call out for her. Then we both fall through a black abyss. I eventually land in my place, but it doesn't feel like home. My clothes are different now. I am wearing what I used to wear back in high school and a few years into my adult years. Back when I associated myself more as a goth, because of the media I'm interested in. Even though I never went full out, just enough I felt comfortable wearing. Back when I wanted my clothes to represent myself, despite my parents hating it. My mother still doesn't like my taste in books or movies, my dad doesn't mind though my entertainment tastes. Yet, Something seems wrong about this place. I opened my door to see her sitting there crying, listening to her music. The outside is cold and snowy. Yet, she is dressed differently and dyed her hair either a dark tone or black. She is wearing her black trench coat she rarely wore, along with a black in white striped shirt, with black pants. She would be in the same boat as me with dressing and dyeing her hair, parent wouldn't approve. She looks up and asks in a angered voice, "where were you?" In this moment even more fear and anxiety set in. Then she hugs me and I lose control of myself and hug her back. I can slightly hear one of our favorite bands playing from her earbuds. Now I feel fear of being with her again, since we didn't have the best relationship. Looking back on it, it was at fault on multiple fronts. Mainly friends and family. We weren't surrounded by anyone we truly got along with or trusted, just tolerated for the sake of having friends. Yet, the hug made me feel happy.

2. (Ok I don't know if this one has to do with her, it just seem like with the other dreams this one my be connected) I am sitting alone by a slightly diseased tree, on a small floating island. By the tree is a sparkling lake, and a little forest. The island is surrounded by other floating islands, some with structures on them. Most of the architecture was geek or roman influenced. The clouds are white, and the sun is bright. In the dream, my mind tells me that I am in heaven. Yet, I am crying. I feel extremely sadness and my heart is heartbroken. I keep looking beside me for someone to be there, and reaching out for them. Then I see a Pantheon of divine figures like Jesus, Hercules, Some norse looking guy, an Asian monk, etc... come down. They say, "Its not heaven that makes you happy, when its not your heaven. You need someone to spend it with, and you need to be yourself". Then they send me back to earth, and I wake up.

3. (I am observing this one, I am not in control) I am in a winter forest with leafless trees facing the horizon as the sun goes down. I'm more muscular than usual, and wearing a long black winter coat. My hair is shorter. Under the coat I'm wearing a white button up shirt with a black vest, black pants, and shoes. Moments past staring at the winter forest, before My ex grabs my hand. She whispers in my ear, "its better over here." She is wearing a buttoned up trenchcoat, black pants, or hair is black and big. Her eyes the happiest I have ever seen them. She leads me through the forest until we reach green pine trees covered with Christmas and Halloween decorations. I ask her, "Are we going to go home." She says, "We are already home, why would you want us to go back? I don't want to go back." She then looks at me angered, "We were better off together, yet it was always us who screwed it up. I hate myself for letting you leave." She then starts crying, "Most of all I hate myself for not trying to fight back against my life." Then I say, "Was I seriously any better than you? I screwed up so much of my life, trying to appease my friends and family. Only to fall on my face, or lose those friends." She looks back at me and says calmly, "All those pail in comparison to what you ended with me, unless that is why you ended it. Next time you seen me please say I love you."

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