Thread: The Bear

Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some general background information about you (and a description of events just before this scary dream), it’s safe to say that animals in dreams symbolize the dreamer’s connection with and overall attitude toward natural instinctive reactions, strong emotions, vague feelings, intuitions and even cold thoughts and actions that are sometimes needed to defend ourselves in certain situations.

Unfortunately, dreams where any type of animal, alone or in groups, attacks the dreamer mean that, in some way, an important part of their instinctive side is not being nurtured and cared for enough.

Your family in this dream probably symbolizes a mix of various influences that you’ve received from those around you as you’ve grown up.

If so, maybe it’s possible that for whatever reason, your family in general somehow feels uncomfortable with instinctive reactions and feelings beyond a certain point.

Apparently the sticks which the family members pick up in the dream are meant for firewood, so maybe there are certain outer and generally OK ways as passed onto you by your family so that you yourself are “kept warm” enough emotionally when things get rough.

However, it could be that so far, you haven’t gotten enough in touch with your deep-down instinctive feelings (the sleeping black bear).

This could sometimes end with the “bear” inside sometimes becoming extra “angry” with you for being kept from doing its own thing.

For example, you might not let out your anger directly enough if you’re hurt as mentioned in another post and this could lead to your feeling too down sometimes.

All of the impressions that you’ve consciously and unconsciously received during your lifetime regarding the image of a bear are being used by your dream to express part of its central meaning in a symbolic way.

You can try focusing on the images of the bears in your dream and write down every spontaneous memory, thought and emotion that comes to mind. Sifting through these can provide some basic clues about the meaning of a bear for you as an individual.

Also useful are the collective beliefs and impressions made by bears on people as a whole over thousands of years.

These include the idea in many cultures that the bear is the central basic image of a “wild beast”.

Also, its awesome strength and its supremacy in wilderness areas have often made the bear a representative of the whole of nature itself which is both nurturing and cruel.

And from the earliest times, bears have formed a central part of religious practices for many peoples.

Just like nature, a bear has two sides. It can be clever, prudent, “wise” and protective. On the other hand, if crossed, it can become extremely violent and destructive.

So in practical terms, if a person “angers” his or her instincts too much, an “attack” can potentially take the form of any one of an endless range among upsetting physical and/or psychological symptoms.

Our job is to meet our inner bear half way by respecting its wisdom while being wary that it could “rear up” in certain circumstances.

If a person is shot in a dream like it looks you were in this one (e.g. shots were heard then everything went blank), it’s like a kind of strong blow that’s meant to symbolically wake up a person to what could become a problem later if things aren’t looked at now.

Maybe there’s a kind of cycle going on where something triggers some bad feelings (e.g. it’s been about a year since the callous guy just stopped talking to you) but deep down, they aren’t really let out in a meaningful way and instead, they kind of disappear again.

This could be symbolized by the bears getting really angry and then being killed.

But you don’t really realize what has happened to your own feelings deep down (e.g. you are “killed”, that is, made totally unconscious about what’s going on).

Things then go back to normal (e.g. you’re at a restaurant) but the idea might be that later, the same type of thing will keep happening (e.g. the gathering of sticks takes place once a year, maybe implying that the “bear” will appear again in the future).

Anyway as mentioned, without knowing anything much about you, this way of looking at your dream might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope these ideas aren’t too confusing and that can be helpful in some way.

Please feel free to ask any questions or to make any comments about this particular way of looking at your scary dream.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this and tell me what you think.

So, for example, could it be connected with my job? I'm a manager at a pet store and have to deal with all the rude customers and any difficult situation or argumentation between customers and associates. So, this stresses me out a lot (and I secretly want to blow up when customers won't listed to me and keep arguing with me). For example, a couple weeks ago a guy can in and he was asking an associate about hamsters. Every associate there knows that I am the go-to person when it come to hamsters so naturally my cashier for the evening came and asked to to help the customer. I get really excited when I get asked about hamsters because I love helping the customers (and associates) better understand their hamster and to provide them with excellent information to better care for their hamster. Anyways, this guy was trying to tell me that they purchased a hamster a couple months ago and it just died out of no where, then the second one they got after it had died a month later because "it had fell in its cage and broke its back or something." And i told the guy that I didn't think his hamster broke it's back because my hamsters fall from high areas of their cage all the time and one is two years old and the other is 9 months old. He started getting an attitude with me and trying to say things to make it seem like he knows more about hamsters than the lady that has had multiple hamsters for over 10 years. He eventually asked my advice on how to keep them alive, so I gave him my advice and he told me verbatim, "that sounds like it would all be too expensive. I think it would just be cheaper to let them keep dying and by a new hamster." And that made me really mad because he just told me that they dont want to properly care for it to meet it's needs. I didn't want to get fired from what I wanted to say to that guy, so I just said "okay" and wanted to be done with him and have him get out of my store.

He then asked me if we sold Puppy Chow, and I told him, "no, we don't sell Puppy Chow. This is a pet store and we only sell Premium foods, not grocery store brands." And he asked me what a good food for his "$1500 hunting puppy" so I showed him the Blue Buffalo Wilderness line and told him the benefits and how great it would be for his pup because the wilderness is loaded with proteins which is what a good active dog would need. He looked and me and told me how ridiculous he thought it was that someone would actually buy their dog a %60 bag of food that would only last a week or two with his dogs. And I told him because it is a food with no fillers that his dogs wont eat as much of it because its going to make them full faster and keep them full longer. I also told him that my dogs are eating Nutro and the bags that I get are $60 for 24 pounds and it lasts me three weeks with a pit bull and two miniature pinschers. And he told me how ridiculous I was for spending that much on them because "they are just dogs."

This guy was making me pretty angry and I wanted to just go off on him, but I held my tongue and he finally left.

But, not only do customers piss me off, the associates piss me off too. I will ask them to do something and they wouldn't do it even though they had 8 hours to do a simple task. Iv'e started showing them how mad their making and they'll call me a bitch, but I just say "I don't care." I've started giving them one hour to complete anything that I give them or they get written up (three write-ups allows us to terminate the employee). So Far it has worked, but they still say things about me that I don't like. For example, yesterday afternoon we were really busy and only had one cash register going because it was shift change and I was Going as fast as I could to get the register ready for the next associate. Two of the associates that were leaving for the day were standing in line because one of them was buying crickets for his tarantula, and the other one was just there with him. Well, I hear one of them say "That red head is here every time I come shopping and she is useless. She never does anything. She's a worthless employee." and it really made me mad and I wanted to scream at him right there because he said that in front of ten other customers that were in line. I know he was meaning it as a joke and it would be fine if there was no customers in the store, but you don't say things like that in front of customers because they started giving me looks.

Anyways, that's work. It's full of stress for me and dealing with rude customers and associates.

And I don't think it would have anything to do with anything, but my car had broke down when I was driving to Atlanta for work reasons (I only live and work about 30-45 minutes away from Atlanta). The Crankshaft had snapped, timing belt broke, oil pump belt broke, and the engine blew a piston (me and my dad also went ahead and bought a new camshaft too). Well when we replaced everything a month later (not knowing a piston was blown) and I drove it for a week and it was still giving me problems. We did more work on my little Bishi and that's when we discovered the piston was blown. And I love my car. I didn't want to buy a new car. So I spent $2500 buying a new engine, and a little over $1000 to have it put in (It came with a three year warranty if an actual mechanic put it in). I finally got it back at the very end of December, so three months and $4000 later I got my little car back.

And as far as family, we all get a lone great. I also told me dad about the dream and told him I didn't know why he wasn't in it because his brother was in it, and after I told him the dream he said, "well, I don't know if I'd really want to be in it," and started laughing. But, I don't understand why my dad wouldn't be in it because we are really close.

I also have four brothers (ages 21, 18, 9, and 3) but why was only the nine year old in it?

And my aunt was in it, but none of my cousins. (I don't really see much of them anymore other than one cousin that lives down the road from me. My aunt and other two cousins are in a different state).

I'm also in college while working, so I'm not sure if that is tied in somehow either.

Hi again,

It looks like you’re a very busy and competent lady, and what with being a manager at work, going to college and having cars break down on you, it’s very understandable that you often have to hold in a lot of anger and frustration about many things.

This of course is what’s making the bear “angry” and you probably just need some ideas on how to reduce the number of upsetting incidents etc. going on and to make those that still do appear more manageable.

A couple of time-tested and reliable books on how to brush up on your assertiveness skills which will help manage all kinds of situations are “Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships / Edition 9” by Robert Alberti and Michael Eammons, and “Asserting Yourself” by Sharon and Gordon Bower. These are available on such websites as Barnes & Noble and Amazon for example.

In the meantime, here are a few general ideas on how to handle problem situations with staff and customers:

- for example, first of all, keep an eye on how you’re feeling in general at any given time. Let in any emotions about things that have upset you at home or on the way to work etc. That way, they won’t tend to sneak up on you and cause a blow-up when an annoying situation comes up. This is kind of like venting steam a little at a time all day, so the bear will just probably stay asleep and won’t get riled.

- when something potentially upsetting is starting to appear with someone, assume a good, erect posture in a subtle way and spread your feet apart to support yourself firmly. Breathe slowly. Then just be alert, straightforward and look directly at the other person in a calm, non-upset way. This shows that you’re taking seriously what the other person is saying and that you want to help.

- with customers, ask appropriate questions in the circumstances in order to gather relevant facts but also try to size them up and to feed back to them what they might already have said.

- the hamster guy also gave a lot of opportunities for using “active listening” to help handle a difficult situation. For instance, it might have eased and defused the situation a little at first to say something like “I’m guessing you’re new to having a hamster and I know how upsetting it can be to lose one because it’s happened to me over the years. On top of that, it’s sometimes very hard to figure out what happened”. The idea is that by saying something like this, you show you’re listening to the person and can sense their frustration and sympathize with it.

It’s tricky to deal with someone like this guy and questions etc. would have to be dealt with very carefully. When he didn’t like the cost of the dog food, it might have been good to make the more general statement “Yes, the cost of feeding dogs can seem like a lot but most of our customers tell us that this brand does last a long time”. This would have prevented him from being able to target you specifically with his unkind comment because some people for some reason are always looking for a victim to hurt.

- after gaining more experience with gathering the facts of a situation, empathizing, using the customer’s name, offering various practical recommendations and using “active listening” etc., you might sometimes be able to use the following idea if nothing works to resolve the situation.

It’s called the “I” message which tells the customer in a non-threatening and calm way that despite all your efforts, the transaction has reached a roadblock. The “I” message also allows the customer to get back on track.

For example, you can say “I’d like to help you, but I really don’t know where to go from here”. If the customer calms down and seems to become more reasonable, another attempt to solve the problem can be made.

Sometimes of course, you won’t be able to help a customer for other reasons, e.g. “I’m sorry but I don’t have the authority to do that but I can put you in touch with Ms. So-and-So”.

And if another hamster guy shows up and things don’t work out very well “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help this time but please don’t hesitate to come again and we’ll do everything we can to provide you with any information and help you need”.

Most of these tips will also help when dealing with staff as well.

And about your dream, sometimes it just isn’t necessary to figure out little details such as why your dad wasn’t in it and your 9 year old brother was as long as you get the general gist of the dream and can do some things that’ll help to solve the problem it’s outlining.

Anyway, I hope these extra ideas can help and please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any further questions.

Originally Posted by Athanor

Hi again,

It looks like you’re a very busy and competent lady, and what with being a manager at work, going to college and having cars break down on you, it’s very understandable that you often have to hold in a lot of anger and frustration about many things.

This of course is what’s making the bear “angry” and you probably just need some ideas on how to reduce the number of upsetting incidents etc. going on and to make those that still do appear more manageable.

A couple of time-tested and reliable books on how to brush up on your assertiveness skills which will help manage all kinds of situations are “Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships / Edition 9” by Robert Alberti and Michael Eammons, and “Asserting Yourself” by Sharon and Gordon Bower. These are available on such websites as Barnes & Noble and Amazon for example.

In the meantime, here are a few general ideas on how to handle problem situations with staff and customers:

- for example, first of all, keep an eye on how you’re feeling in general at any given time. Let in any emotions about things that have upset you at home or on the way to work etc. That way, they won’t tend to sneak up on you and cause a blow-up when an annoying situation comes up. This is kind of like venting steam a little at a time all day, so the bear will just probably stay asleep and won’t get riled.

- when something potentially upsetting is starting to appear with someone, assume a good, erect posture in a subtle way and spread your feet apart to support yourself firmly. Breathe slowly. Then just be alert, straightforward and look directly at the other person in a calm, non-upset way. This shows that you’re taking seriously what the other person is saying and that you want to help.

- with customers, ask appropriate questions in the circumstances in order to gather relevant facts but also try to size them up and to feed back to them what they might already have said.

- the hamster guy also gave a lot of opportunities for using “active listening” to help handle a difficult situation. For instance, it might have eased and defused the situation a little at first to say something like “I’m guessing you’re new to having a hamster and I know how upsetting it can be to lose one because it’s happened to me over the years. On top of that, it’s sometimes very hard to figure out what happened”. The idea is that by saying something like this, you show you’re listening to the person and can sense their frustration and sympathize with it.

It’s tricky to deal with someone like this guy and questions etc. would have to be dealt with very carefully. When he didn’t like the cost of the dog food, it might have been good to make the more general statement “Yes, the cost of feeding dogs can seem like a lot but most of our customers tell us that this brand does last a long time”. This would have prevented him from being able to target you specifically with his unkind comment because some people for some reason are always looking for a victim to hurt.

- after gaining more experience with gathering the facts of a situation, empathizing, using the customer’s name, offering various practical recommendations and using “active listening” etc., you might sometimes be able to use the following idea if nothing works to resolve the situation.

It’s called the “I” message which tells the customer in a non-threatening and calm way that despite all your efforts, the transaction has reached a roadblock. The “I” message also allows the customer to get back on track.

For example, you can say “I’d like to help you, but I really don’t know where to go from here”. If the customer calms down and seems to become more reasonable, another attempt to solve the problem can be made.

Sometimes of course, you won’t be able to help a customer for other reasons, e.g. “I’m sorry but I don’t have the authority to do that but I can put you in touch with Ms. So-and-So”.

And if another hamster guy shows up and things don’t work out very well “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help this time but please don’t hesitate to come again and we’ll do everything we can to provide you with any information and help you need”.

Most of these tips will also help when dealing with staff as well.

And about your dream, sometimes it just isn’t necessary to figure out little details such as why your dad wasn’t in it and your 9 year old brother was as long as you get the general gist of the dream and can do some things that’ll help to solve the problem it’s outlining.

Anyway, I hope these extra ideas can help and please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any further questions.

I really loved your interpretation of the dream very nice of you to be so caring we need people like you in this nightmarish world,can you have a look at some of my dreams .thanks a million