Hey,
Well first off, thank you for taking your time to read this post and I guess I should enter some information about myself. I have been close to many people who have committed suicide or have passed away. I, myself have been diagnosed with depression and have been hospitalized for a suicide attempt 2 years ago. I used to self harm, and even now have extreme anxiety. I usually do not have many dreams but recently I have been having this reoccurring dream that is slightly scaring me. I apologize if this offends anyone in some sort.
In a slightly brief summary, it starts off in a dark tunnel, and I just walk along guided by what seems to be candle light. I am 2 years younger than my current age. There are several turns and at the last turn the walls of the tunnel are dripping black liquid and I start hearing voices that are all mushed up together. A few of them, I recognize because they were people I was close to, and the voices are figments of conversations we had when they were still alive. I start breaking down and panicking and the candlelight moves ahead of me to the end of the tunnel. I run for my life towards the light and reach the end of the tunnel and there, there's a gravestone marked for me and an open grave of my happy memories, my hopes, and my dreams that I could not but the chance to achieve. I have this feeling to destroy myself, and throw myself down there. The black liquid starts to fill the deep grave and I start to self harm by cutting. Now the difference between last night's dream and the rest of the other reoccurring dreams is that I usually look up and see an orange-brownish fox behind the tombstone. Recently in my life I met this guy, who had helped my depression greatly and we have this personal joke between us that his spirit animal is a fox. Now, back to the dream, right before I jump into the grave, I see the orange fox and stop. I usually wake up after that. But this time I see an albino fox with white fur and red eyes. This time I slash my neck and jump into the grave.. and then I wake up.
This dream is starting to scare me, honestly..If anyone can explain it.. it would be much appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for the help.