Babies and Labor

[CAdreamin]

Hi all, I have looked and looked, and not yet found a dream similar to mine, so here goes! 1) I'm at home alone, and I go into labor. The baby girl comes out easily (no pain at all), and my immediate family is excited when they hear about her. I love her instantly. I'm not sure of the time frame, but the baby girl is still an infant when I give birth again. I start getting scared because there's a lot of blood everywhere, and this pregnancy was a surprise. I was worried and scared of what my family would think. This birth was easy, too; it's a boy this time! Both babies are beautiful and healthy. But I lie to everyone (including my boyfriend) and say that I'm just babysitting someone else's child. In my mind, I was planning to give the baby up for adoption the next day in the hopes of getting money. It seemed that I just couldn't wait ti get rid of him. IRL, I know that's not how it works, but I guess that doesn't matter in dreams Anyhoo, I decide to take the baby far, far away. I'm not sure where, but it's a difficult journey with lots of hills, mountains, etc. at night. Maybe over the border (which means I must be desperate, as I plan on avoiding Mexico at all costs). It feels more like an adventure, and less like a loss. I get to a place that feels like a summer camp, drop the baby off, and head home. Not sure if I got paid. So I don't think that was the point of the dream. This may or may not be significant, but I am black, my boyfriend is white, and both of the kids I had were white. Not mixed, completely Caucasian features - straight dark brown hair, big blue eyes, cute pointy nose. They didn't look like me at all. So strange. 2) A little about me. I'm 25. I get along with my family okay. Our unspoken rule is "Don't tell us if you're having problems; pretend everything's okay, because failure is not an option." My boyfriend has a wonderful, kind family that I see often, and they like to talk about everything. No secrets! I have absolutely no desire to have children of my own, which is great because I can't have one anyway. I like kids. If I decide to raise one, the child will be adopted as a toddler or older. I moved here from another state, where I worked full time in an artistic capacity. I was laid off, and became homeless. To pay for basic need, I had a part-time job as a dominatrix (btw they don't have sex for money - I could never do that to myself). Yes, it was pretty much a double life! I gave that up and moved here to be with my boyfriend. I have a business (non-adult industry) that's currently struggling. I have been toying with the idea of becoming a domme again to keep it afloat. I've only told my boyfriend, as no one else would understand. I don't feel 100% comfortable with doing it again, but bills must be paid somehow, and a lot is on the line. Is the dream just a product of carbs before bed, or does it really mean something?

[Morningangel]

I would walk through this dream step-by-step, but I think you can do it yourself if you look at the births not as babies, but as the creation of projects or, perhaps, works of arts. Try seeing it that way and, if you are still perplexed, send me a message, and I'll answer any questions you like.