Recurring sex dreams... help!

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09-16-2010, 09:34 PM
orchestrated

Recurring sex dreams... help!

Alright, I know that a lot of people have dreams about having sex or watching others have sex, and I am no exception to this group of people. I keep reading interpretations that say sex dreams either mean you're not satisfied with your current lover or you are attracted to the person in your dream. What's wrong with this, though, is that my boyfriend and I have been together for seven months and I am VERY satisfied with him. We have a healthy sexual relationship and I am getting my needs fulfilled. Also, I have no desire to be with another man and in these dreams I am either taken advantage of (drugged, drunk, raped) or, if I concede to the act, I feel extremely guilty afterward and wake up in a horrible daze.

I have never been raped, but I went through a lot of traumatic and self-destructive experiences when I was a teenager and believe that is what these dreams are stemming from. Most of the people I have sex with in my dreams are people I have had sex with in the past, have been in relationships with, or have briefly dated. The last sex dream I had was with an old ex-boyfriend, with whom I had a toxic relationship. In the dream I willingly had sex with him but, of course, I had misgivings about it and after I woke up I felt awful. My current boyfriend tells me that they are just dreams, and I shouldn't analyze them too deeply because everyone has different sexual manifestations in their dreams (even more so with me because of my past). The problem, however, is that I want to be able to get past these issues so I stop having these kinds of dreams. They aren't even dreams to me anymore... they're nightmares. My sexual past still haunts me and I'm wondering if maybe that's why I'm constantly seeing myself with other men, especially men that DID take advantage of me and treated me badly.

If you have any opinions or advice about these kinds of sex dreams, I would love to hear from you. Thank you!
09-17-2010, 02:32 AM
daeryk

The sex is just a symbol your mentally and emotionally merging with some aspect of your personality. Having sex just means you are creating more of whatever they represent. So if for example if one of these old sexual partners represented a fear, or insecurity in some way then having sex with them in a dream would mean you are creating more of those fears, insecurities, or others feelings.

You need to thinking about the one thing about them that stands out the most. A personality trait, memory, or something about the way they make you feel.
09-17-2010, 12:40 PM
Burned up

Quote:

Originally Posted by orchestrated

Alright, I know that a lot of people have dreams about having sex or watching others have sex, and I am no exception to this group of people. I keep reading interpretations that say sex dreams either mean you're not satisfied with your current lover or you are attracted to the person in your dream.

I would disagree with that analysis. Everyone has love/sex dreams, often with people other than their partner IRL. Dream rules are very different to real life morality.

Quote:

What's wrong with this, though, is that my boyfriend and I have been together for seven months and I am VERY satisfied with him. We have a healthy sexual relationship and I am getting my needs fulfilled. Also, I have no desire to be with another man and in these dreams I am either taken advantage of (drugged, drunk, raped) or, if I concede to the act, I feel extremely guilty afterward and wake up in a horrible daze.

I have never been raped, but I went through a lot of traumatic and self-destructive experiences when I was a teenager and believe that is what these dreams are stemming from. Most of the people I have sex with in my dreams are people I have had sex with in the past, have been in relationships with, or have briefly dated. The last sex dream I had was with an old ex-boyfriend, with whom I had a toxic relationship. In the dream I willingly had sex with him but, of course, I had misgivings about it and after I woke up I felt awful. My current boyfriend tells me that they are just dreams, and I shouldn't analyze them too deeply because everyone has different sexual manifestations in their dreams (even more so with me because of my past). The problem, however, is that I want to be able to get past these issues so I stop having these kinds of dreams. They aren't even dreams to me anymore... they're nightmares. My sexual past still haunts me and I'm wondering if maybe that's why I'm constantly seeing myself with other men, especially men that DID take advantage of me and treated me badly.

If you have any opinions or advice about these kinds of sex dreams, I would love to hear from you. Thank you!

Two things there. First, dreams like yours are not unusual, so don't be surprised or aggrieved that you are having them. Second, it is your reaction to the dreams (which seems to consist of guilt?) that is disturbing you rather than the dream itself. My suggestion is rather than to have a battle within your psyche about the rights and wrongs of the past and how it seems to be haunting you, try to welcome these dreams. It's a kind of healing, and self-acceptance is an important part of that process. Once you can tolerate the dreams and "accept what's coming" (as it were) in them they will lose their power and you will be able to get on with your life.