Hi artofguitar
Sounds like you believe in a spirit world inhabited by people who might have been. That may be the case, but maybe there is another way of looking at this.
Dreams like yours are not as rare as you might think. Indeed I dream of an elder sister I have never had and, my parents assure me, does not connect to any real life events. I also dream of a little girl, like you about age 6-10, who feels so very close to me and so real in the dream world.
My own interpretation of dreams like this, mostly based on my own searching over 3 years or so, is that the girl represents our "female potential". When we are babies, we have no knowledge of male or female. Then sometime in our early development we learn about being male or female, about our bodies, our same-sex (and indeed different-sex) friends and about how society expects us to behave in relation to males and females. This most likely means we have to suppress parts of our character/personality/whatever that we associate with femininity, as we develop our male self. All this happens during the years of "sexual latency", i.e. after we're aware of male/female but before we think in terms of sexuality.
In our dreams, all kinds of thoughts arise from our subconscious (which is where suppressed stuff goes, although there are many psychological theories about this) and suppressed stuff about our self will appear as dream characters. i.e. dream characters are "who we believe we aren't". The little girl, I think, is a powerful archetype in male dreams because of the sex/gender implications and for some this can be worrying. In fact the reverse should be true and we would do well to welcome the emergence of the "little girl", who will show us what we've been missing all these years (like your dream, "she" often seems to have a purpose in dreams).
From what you have written, the presence of the girl may have been brought on from your parents' miscarriage. You may have picked up a longing for a daughter from them, for example. My own opinion is that the truth is not in the spirit world but in the ream world. I can't comment on your friend's feedback other than to say, yet again, she may be sensitive to the longing for a daughter that has surrounded you, but that's just a guess and I don't think it's helpful for me to dismiss any beliefs and theories which may be useful to you. Your freind may be able to help you get in touch with "her", kind of "what is she telling you" kind of questions.
I'm sure you will dream of "her" again. Her appearance may change, her age perhaps too, but you will know it's her.
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