Incest Dream?

[dpheonixg]

Hey guys, I had a really weird dream last night. Normally I don't care/want to know what they mean, but this one just gave me a weird feeling and now I'm curious. I dreamed that I was at home and there was a family party going on. Two of my cousins were in the kitchen talking and were standing very close to each other. I'll call them C and M. These cousins are brothers and have both served in the military. C just recently got back from overseas and that's what the party was for. I was listening to my uncle talking to my dad and grandmother. He was saying that for a while now, the younger one (M, he's 24) was paying less and less attention to his girlfriend. He seemed depressed most of the time. Then when C came home he was alright. He told us that his sons told him that they were in an "alternative" relationship. Everyone was really happy for them. I was uneasy with it because they were brothers. I thought it was strange and went inside. They were in the kitchen telling my other cousins about this. They were all happy for them too. No one said anything about it being incestuous. Anyway, a little help would be appreciated. I have all sorts of dreams and I usually get over any feelings they carry into waking life fairly quickly. I don't know why this one has left me feeling uneasy all day.

[ZoeSeeker]

Very basic dream interpretion has been a skill of mine for awhile. However, without sufficient background information, this dream would be hard to interpret. It really depends on several factors; how close you are to the various people in your dream, which of the items in your dreams are facts, and which are dreams, along with what you have done over the past 24 hours, including anything out of your ordinary routine. Really it takes knowing your entire life history. This is why the best interpreter of your dreams in you! A real dream interpretation takes into account your entire life, not just a slice of it. I rarely buy into the generic interpretations of dreams. The mind is just too complex to try to simplify it with generalizations (e.g. dreaming of water means sex, dreaming of fire means transformation). These are just too simple, and totally throw out one's life experiences. Most of the time, your dreams are just your subconcious mind dealing with memories in it's own way. Shuffling through them, and working them as problems. Rarely do dreams give us realistic insight, or clear interpretations of real life. They are just memories, jumbled and sequenced together by the gossamer thread of the subconcious mind's attempt at continuity. With that said, I wouldn't put too much into trying to decide if your dream "means" anything. They affect us in different ways, and some stay with us more than others. This doesn't mean they have any more relevance or importance, it just means we were more moved by them than unusual. With that said, here is a basic interpretation, because otherwise, this comment is really boring :-) The party represents happiness in your family. It could also be that you were just at a party, or in a fun place with a lot of people. The secretive talking means that you don't know something that you should know, or that you feel something is being kept from you, or that you have been somewhere where someone close to you was talking quietly to anyone else. The cousins are male, and the topic is sexual, so this just means you have a normal sex drive. Unless you grew up seeing your cousins every day, it is not unusual to find them attractive. Because you did not want to entertain the thought of you being attracted to them, your subconcious decided to play a trick on you. It made them attracted to each other, so you could act accordingly with disdain, and sadness (a natural reaction, of course). Now that you are justified, it is ok, and that is why everyone is happy for "them". The fact that it is secretive once again suggests that your subconcious mind finds the thought of your attraction unaccetable. It's not really a secret if everyone is ok with it. If everyone knows, it's not a secret Ok, that's my shot. My chances of getting it right are very, very low. I don't know enough, and am making the assumption that you are young (under 45), and don't see your cousins often, but at least know them. I am also assuming that part of your dream is truth (ages, girlfriend or not, really was away, overseas or not).

[dpheonixg]

I wasn't sure about what kind of background information you would need. But I'll answer the questions you think are important. I'm kind of lost when it comes to interpreting dreams as I really don't do it that often. I get what you're saying about you being the best interpreter of your own dreams, I just really don't know where to start. And yeah, I would say I was more moved by this one than I normally am. So I appreciate the response. I'm a 20 year old female. I have a really large family with tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins. These two cousins are from my dad's side of the family. They are two of the oldest. They are actually brothers and both have served in the military. M is younger and came back from serving in Iraq last December. He's been having a hard time dealing with everything since he came back. C came back from Afghanistan two weeks ago. They both have girlfriends and C's son just turned 1 not too long ago. We had a party last Saturday, so I guess that's where the party came from. That or the fact that we had my mom's birthday party yesterday. As far as your interpretation goes, some of it makes sense. My family is always happy to get together and everyone is really close. Except me. So I suppose that's why I was listening in on conversations instead of actually joining in on them. I do really love my family I just don't always feel like I fit in. And I don't always get to go to parties because I work a lot. I missed them and we kept in touch by writing letters and sending care packages to them while they were away. Of all of my cousins I would say I'm closest to them. I think you're partially right about the attraction thing. They are handsome, but I'm a lesbian so I really could care less about guys. Maybe I've just been bothered about not being able to see them all that much anymore. I'm busy with work and school and they've been away for so long. And now that they are back I don't see them without their girlfriends hanging all over them. I'm not close to their girls, but I've only met them a few times. And they are a few years older than me. 24 and 26 I think. Anyway, thanks again. Hearing things mentioned like that really helped me to begin to get what the heck was going on.

[ZoeSeeker]

Congratulations, you just interpreted your dream! I think the incest thing is not incest at all. In your dream, the are living an "alternate lifestyle". You, being a lesbian, recognize on some level, that same sex love is an "alternate lifestyle". However, your view of this is soul mate type of love; you don't refer to it as derogatory. That takes care of the fact that they are both men. The reason you see this particular type of relationship between them is twofold. 1. They share a very deeply traumatic and life long experience, that is, serving this great country in an area filled with people who want to kill them. It pulls people together very strongly. They are literally, "Brothers in Arms". It's truly a unique relationship that no one could understand, and a bond that lasts a lifetime. They don't have to serve in the same physical location to have this. 2. A same sex realtionship is a non-familial love relationship. The deepest love two people can have for each other is consumated sexually. You see them as having a very deep love (e.g. Military, Brothers), so your subconscious mind simply makes them lovers. The reason it is a secret, and everyone thinks its ok you also stated yourself. You don't feel like you fit in. You don't talk to people at these gatherings, making everything everyone says a "secret" on some level. The reason they don't think it's unusual is just your subconcious telling you that it doesn't feel like it fits in either. It's may be frustrating that you don't fit in, or annoying, or whatever. Your subconcious is just telling you the same thing. It also appears, from my interpretation, that your family is just fine with your "alternative lifestyle", although I think you still have issues with it, however small. So, to me, it looks like a lot of different issues being processed at once by your subconscious mind. It is using the party as a setting. Pretty normal stuff. What part of it made it stick with you so long? What feeling did you have? Sadness, confusion? I hope that I helped. It's ok to want to be with family more. You are blessed to have a large one. Peace

[dpheonixg]

In all honesty I'm not so sure why everyone is so accepting in the dream. My family is very conservative and several members have clearly stated that we are blessed because there are none of "those" in the family. By those, they mean homosexuals. I've only come out to my parents and that was about five years ago. They actually took me to see a therapist to try to fix it. She said it was perfectly normal and they took me to another who said the same. It was a while ago and I was pretty angry with them, but I do love them. My extended family has no idea. They might have suspicions, but none that are confirmed. That's why I'm having trouble with the fact that everyone was so accepting of my cousins in the dream. I'm still not sure what that's all about, but I know my feelings of not fitting in definitely deal with that. I quoted alternative because in the dream my cousin actually used air quotes when he was explaining it to others. I felt a bit uneasy about the dream. Ashamed to a certain extent. I thought it had to do with the fact that my cousins were dating each other, but now I think it might be more of how I feel around my family. With everything they say, sometimes I feel like I'm the one in the wrong.

[ZoeSeeker]

I think you are doing a very good job of analyzing the dream yourself!! I really don't think anyone can add more to it. Perhaps you feel that your family would be more accepting of a male coming out, rather than a female. Could it be jealousy that is driving it? Not conscious jealousy, but perhaps the fact that everyone is paying attention to your cousins and being supportive of their issues, you feel left out. Peace

[dpheonixg]

Thanks so much for your help! I think I'm understanding basic interpretations now. I just need to look at things a bit differently instead of looking at a dream dictionary or some such resource. I feel better about what was bugging me all day and I feel like I have a bit more insight into somethings. Thanks again!