well it's no secret that it isn't always easy to control your dreams. It can be, but it usually isn't. Telling yourself you're in control and believing you're in control can only get you so far. It's just like the matrix; if it were as easy as it seems, everyone would be neo. There comes a point in controlling your dreams where willing things to happen falls short of controlling things.
The next step you have to take is more complex than simply believing. As Leo will probably tell you before I'm finished typing this, you need to have a certain degree of trust between the conscious and the subconscious realms of your mind in order to shed the inhibitions of the dream world. The subconscious simply will not let you take over unless you've developed a strong relationship with it.
How do you go about doing this? Well, start by putting off your goal of controlling your dreams until a later date. you have your whole life to perfect this skill, no need to rush things. Keep in mind that we oneironauts are pioneers, we're messing with things we don't really understand, and so you can't expect results in any given time frame.
Next, get to know the dream world. Obviously you've come pretty far in this regard, but if you're losing your ability to control your dreams you might want to back off a bit. you know, just explore the dream world and try to get a better understanding of its workings. I found that once I started recognizing dream characters and my personal dream guide, controlling the dream became easier. My dream guide happens to be one of my best friends so we got along well from the beginning, and it wasn't long before I could track him down and ask him questions. Many people report dream guides condemning dream control, so it seems to me that in order to gain control, you have to convince your subconscious that you won't mess anything up.
Approach your subconscious like a wild animal. It won't trust you until you've proven that you mean it no harm in any way. Enter the dream expecting nothing, and the answers will come to you in various forms. The mind communicates in metaphors, anecdotes, and garbled enigmatic messages which take a long time to make sense. oftentimes something will just click and you'll advance by leaps and bounds. in other cases progress can ebb and be a laborious process. In any respect, my way of attaining control involves self realization and patching up the insecurities of the psyche. The deeper you dig into your mind, the more sense all this baloney will start to make.
is this any help? It's hard to describe how to jump the gap of which you speak, but I'm sure that with patience and self exploration you'll find a way.
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