Aw man, I just PM'd Sageous about how I've been struggling with dream control and he gave me the best advice. I put it into practice and my dream control has been phenomenal in every LD since then.
I think you really hit the nail on the head with your feeling of separation. He suggested that the solution had to do with memory. In particular, fully accessing my memory when I'm in dreams so that I can remember that the dream world is entirely of my own creation, that it is not a physical world, that my dream body is not my real body because my real body is in bed sleeping.
He told me that next time I'm lucid and I feel like I don't have enough control, I should take a moment to remember. So I started with incubating this practice while I was awake - I would pretend that I had just realized I was in a lucid dream and the first thing I did was to remember that the entire dream world is my creation.
And it worked! Every time I have a lucid dream now, first thing I do is focus on remembering that it is my dream, and I do the same thing every time I start to question my dream control.
That's all, good luck!
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