FryingMan's DILD course workbook

LDs #269 (2022-07-16) and #270 (today, 2022-07-24) :banana:

Starting to come to terms with my now seemingly traditional 5am waking (doesn't seem to matter when I go to bed). I've started taking the advice of sleep therapists and not lying for long periods in bed awake. If I'm not making progress towards sleep (like 20-25 minutes), I get up and sit in a nearby chair. This helps my body cool off back to the lower temperature that's needed for sleep onset (and allows my sheets/pillow to cool off back to where its comfy to be in bed after returning), helps my body shed its "bed tiredness" and to develop again more of a "bed craving." I meditate, try to calm down, think of dreaming topics, and hopefully I get tired (starting to yawn is a good sign), and then I'll return to bed and relax.

Today I did this and returned to bed with the intention to WILD once I started feeling the familiar sleep onset signals, but it was going very slowly so I abandoned that, setting intention that "the next thing I see is a dream...soon I'll be in a dream" and aimed for 100% relaxation and sleep. Eventually I found myself in a scene that I recognized almost immediately to be a dream. I'd been incubating an encounter, and one presented itself immediately. I took a moment before engaging to make a concrete affirmation, "I'm dreaming," which I require before I count it as a lucid.

I'm starting to get the feeling that any time that I can get back to sleep in scenarios like this, I will get lucid with very high confidence.

I'm also starting to understand the phrase from other dreamers who say, "I can get lucid any time I want to." It's sort of like losing weight -- you can also do that any time you want to, but not everybody actually does it, because it takes effort, determination, dedication, and willpower/intent. Same thing with LDing "on demand" -- it takes effort, determination, dedication, (preparation!), and willpower & intent. The fact that one can do it if they want to, doesn't mean it's necessarily easy or without effort!

Well after July's successes I've been smacked down by sleep issues. I've always had a tendency towards sleep maintenance insomnia (waking up after 5 hrs of sleep and not getting back to sleep), especially when practicing LD night-time methods, and especially when intent for LDs is high. Focusing on sleep first, now, establishing a regular schedule, learning healthy circadian rhythm practices like getting lots of outside morning light as soon as I get up, and avoiding evening home lights, bright screens, wearing blue blocker glasses, etc., before bed.

I'm maintaining my All Day Lucid Presence practice as much as I can, and emphasizing happy/joyful/stress-free waking life choices. I've all but stopped reading the "news," for example, and I find I do NOT miss it a bit! The world may be going to hell in a handbasket, but I don't need to follow the second by second updates.

I've been reading "End the Insomnia Struggle" and it has really helped.

I finally have taken positive and concrete steps to deal with my sleep maintenance insomnia. And I believe it's working. I slept about 7 hours both of the last couple nights with no long wakeful phases, and even had a low-grade LD last night (#271)! I'm focusing on sleep 100% for now, so recall and LDing is on pause for the most part, although I did start dialing back up the daytime lucid presence recently.

If anyone does ever have any issues, I highly recommend the book "End the Insomnia Struggle," it's really helped reshape how I approach the night, sleep, dreaming even, and given me concrete tools to deal with the insomnia. The option I chose is called Stimulus Control Therapy: in short:

+ don't go to bed unless you're sleepy (also best if at a regular established time, which I've been doing)
+ get out of bed and go to a different room and so something quiet/boring, if at any time you're in bed for 20 minutes without falling asleep (you can return to bed whenever you feel sleepy again, up until your designated wake-up time).
+ get up at the same time every day regardless of how much you've slept
+ no daytime napping

The benefits of this particular approach is that it allows you to have a good night on occasion and sleep more or less as much as you want to or can (if you go to bed early enough). The idea is to retrain your brain to build a very strong association between being in bed and sleeping, and not sleeping outside of bed.

I've also started getting outside first thing in the morning to get early morning sunlight in my eyes. This helps to strongly establish the circadian rhythm. A lot of insomnia issues (of the type where you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep) are when the sleep drive is out of whack with the circadian rhythm.

The book helped me to realize that you can't fight insomnia and you can't force yourself to sleep. You have to basically just be willing to accept whatever experience one particular night has in store for you. This relieves a lot of the stress of insomnia, along with knowing that there are effective behavioral treatments that really work (stimulus control and sleep restriction therapies). I'm very hopeful that this SCT will give me the ability to fall asleep much much faster in the middle of the night, which would be great for LDing!

I've kept a sleep log this last week when doing SCT and I see the improvement already: measuing is of course approximate but these are the times I've calculated that I've slept:

Hours slept the night of:
8/22: 5.75
8/23 5.33
8/24 6.75
8/25 6.36
8/26: 6.8
8/27: 7.08

Woohoo :banana: !

I have accumulated 3 solid weeks of sleep log data, and I'm into my 4th now. My average time asleep (although how I count it hasn't been exactly stable, trying to account for time awake at initial bedtime and in wakings during the night is difficult) seems to be improving. And most important of all, I'm not lying awake for long periods in bed frustrated about not falling asleep. I think the trend is for longer, better sleep, but time will tell.

What I can say is that I am more and more aware and familiar with my sleep/wake rhythms. My sleep drive is regularly very high in the evening now. In fact, if I'm doing something quiet, like sitting watching a video, it gets to the point where I start nodding off and can't keep my eyes open. I'm learning more about how much sleep I can reliably generate under what circumstances. The good news is that I typically have a very vivid, long period of dreaming within the sleep window of what I can typically generate (6.5 hours). The not-so-good news is that it's less than I'd like, for dreaming. But we work with what we have. I did sleep for a bit over 7 hours today (hard to tell light sleep from awake without a fitness tracker device), while being in bed for around 8.5, the last hour of that in a semi-sleep state, perhaps some light sleep for some of it, which was still restful. I haven't been in bed that long mostly sleeping/solidly resting for quite a while (without feeling wide awake and not being able to fall back asleep). I really think the therapies from the book are working well, and I feel confident I can manage much better now.

I'll continue with the logging and perhaps the therapies for probably at least another month, and then start slowly to work on incorporating some night-time LD practices (short MILD, SSILD, probably won't touch WILD for a while).

Well, a real milestone, had LD #272 last night, TWO MONTHS after my previous LD, and about a week (or a bit more) into my "post sleep therapy" rekindling of practice.

That's the good news. The less-than-good news was that it came after a long (longer than I wanted) period of wakefulness in the middle of the night. It's a familiar pattern: wake, can't fall asleep, then spend an hour or more working on relaxing and maybe some techniques (I did SSILD, thought "oh well, might as well try to WILD at this point"), then have a LD.

Interesting tidbit: I felt quite hot, as in temperature at the point where I realized I wasn't making progress back to sleep. Since I now know that our bodies must cool off in order to fall asleep, I removed the blanket and just tried to relax while cooling off. Apparently it worked, I started to feel drowsy again as I cooled off, and managed a few SSILD cycles before then falling asleep.

I pondered just getting up at that point when I couldn't sleep (it was around 3:55am, I felt like I'd been up for about 20-30 minutes already at that point). Decided not to, very glad I didn't!

LD #273 last night, 3 weeks since last LD. That's a lot better than the 2 months since the prior one!

I've begun in earnest the Four Foundational Practices as taught in the new 2022 edition of The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep. Frequently all throughout the day I "wake myself from the dream of distraction," increase clarity and presence, and (1) recognize the dream-like nature of all experience, and (2) reaction to experience, trying as best I can to make this recognition right when the experience/reaction arises. Before bed I (3) review the day, giving another chance to realize the dream-like nature of experience, for those that I may have missed during the day, and set strong intent for recalling dreams and having lucid dreams. (4) in the morning I review the dreams of the night, and if not lucid, recognize that I did dream, but did not recognize the dream as dream while within it, and set intent to notice (get lucid) in future dreams, and set strong intent to continue the practice throughout the day.

I'm also dabbling a bit in the beginnings of the night practices, placing awareness in the throat chakra of the central channel, promoting strong peacefulness.

LD #274 last night, with the help of galantamine and OOHHH BOY what a ride. Fully conscious WILD entry with mega-vibrations (of a magnitude I've never felt before) and no (discernible) discontinuities. Quick trip to the void/fade, FA (missed), some non-lucid content, then lucid again via latest state test. Ultra-waking vivid experience, seemingly indistinguishable from waking. Super bright and high-res. Many scenes and interactions, things seen, some dialogue. FA (VERY convincing, but a state test caught it) and continued. WOOOOO. DJ forthcoming. :banana:

Haven't updated here in a long while. I really ramped up my intent for the winter competition, and had a string of LDs in the 2nd week of the competition. Then the holidays and New Year's hit, and things really fell to the wayside in dreaming. I moved to focusing on waking life activities and interests, and dreaming quickly deteriorated.

It seems an unfortunate fact that I'm one of those for whom dreaming requires continuous effort and intent, otherwise the ability quickly begins to atrophy.

I'm going to try to pick up intent for the summer competition and see how it goes. Recall has been pretty good in the last couple weeks, with some quite vivid scenes and some approaching lucidity situations (controlled flight is usually a sign that I'm quite close to full lucidity, and I had one of those recently).

Renewed motivation, this time with a plan for "forever" (we'll see!), with help from reframing motivation as being "loving the process/system" (of training/practice) and generating internal rewards from practice instead of achieving goals: continual incremental improvement, adopting identify rather than "doing something".

LD #291 last night in a night of difficult sleep, and a long morning's semi-lucid romp. Good fun. I'm going to maintain and continually improve from here!

I'm *definitely* making 300 LDs by year end. Almost certainly by end of October, even better if end of September, by end of August would be boss! I have a more strict definition than some: I must explicitly acknowledge that I'm dreaming from within the dream.

LD #292 last night. Also a brief (FA I think) lucid moment. Did a nose pinch "in bed" and I could breathe, got lucid, then I felt my body "phase" into being awake there I was awake in bed.

LD #293 last night. I've just not been dreaming much recently. REM deprived for some reason....but I had a huge night of dreaming last night, including short lucid moment in the middle of a serious of long/vivid/epic non-lucids that culminated at the 4-hour waking....a very early time for me to be having that level of dreaming.

A short moment, but it was a critical thinking LD, where I noticed that an exit to the room I had just entered through had vanished. I affirmed out loud that I knew I was dreaming because the exit (in the floor) had disappeared. Exits appearing/disappearing is a pretty big dreamsign. Location/path awareness.

LD #294 about a week ago: walking down a street (outside my cousin's house in city A on the hill) I noticed that the sword/stick I was swinging around was always growing back after a piece broke off of it. Walked in to cousin's house, through the living room, into the kitchen, (there was a woman sitting there?), don't remember the rest...

LD #295 last night: a short, waking-up LD, I'm lying down on the ground looking up at the (very blue [DS]) sky, recognize this as a dream sign, especially the sort of artificial distortion I see in the visual field, do a nose pinch, air can move, realize I'm dreaming, try to move to get up, try to think how I can stand up, but when I turn my head, I'm awake in bed, and nose pinch confirms I'm awake.

Looks like I may reach my goal of 300LDs by end of the year! Dream recall is on the up-tick. Winter is much better for dreaming: lower room temperature, darker in the morning.

Well didn't make 300 in 2023. Hopefully in 2024! New Year's is always a challenging time to maintain practice!

LD #296 last night :banana: A pure TYoDaS practice LD, I became present in the location and just felt/knew that I was dreaming.

LD #297 a couple weeks after #296, also a brief waking moment.

I continue to practice the Four Foundational Practices of The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep daily, (March 8th, 2024 was my first day of this effort), and 3 nights ago I had two full-on lucid dreams, and two nights ago another lucid dream, bringing my total now to 300 :).

It is my sincere intention to keep this up for life with no more interruptions. I feel it integrates very well and fits my "Unified Theory" of being the same way -- lucid -- day and night, perfectly.

LD #298 and #299 came on the same night at the end of April, 2024. LD #300 occurred the next night. (I guess I'm repeating myself here) LD #301 was one week after that.

All of them were similar in pattern: wake up after about 7 hours, then for about an hour, relax, recite Holecek lucid countdown, feel I'm drifting (even though not feeling sleep pressure), switch to a softer/quieter mantra, cultivate gratitude, drift off to sleep, and get lucid in the dreams that followed.

#301 was interesting in that just before getting lucid my hand passed through a wall when I imagined that there was a button there that I wanted to push. It didn't see it, so I decided to expect/pretend that it was there and push it anyway, just like lucid dream control. I don't remember doing "non-lucid dream recall" before. As soon as my hand passed through the wall I got lucid. It's like my mind was helping me to get lucid!

I did the "look at 5 things" stabilization. Didn't do touch, though or my full-body pat-down, both of which I want to do. HAd time to appreciate the surroundings (vivid and clear, I looked at a chair that was there in the hallway), look into some rooms and see piles of small colorful boxes with writing on them like in a pharmacy, and interact with some DCs.

LD #302 07:00 2024-05-14 "Mural" [CH, see mom, grandpa, living room, dining room, kitchen, BIL, drink]
bedtime ~23:00
recall on 3rd waking at 04:30, 4 dreams
MILD on scenes from the dreams, set intent (light, gentle, like a soft wish at the back of your mind), see lots of hypnogogia but falling directly into sleep takes a long time, or I'm asleep w/out dreams and just don't know it. But I turn over side to side probably 3-4 times.

Last LD #301 was 2024-05-03

Update:

LD #303 08:33 2024-05-16 [started on street at CH, hanging around group of young people, lose lucidity, gain again, jump to kitchen, "where'd they go?" then the interaction with the b woman]

LD #304 2024-05-26: dark threatening clouds, hole in the clouds on the right, a bright city, check again, this time with a bridge, try flying, can fly, get lucid, fly to super bright vivid place night-time city lights with lots of shining people.

Reboot '24: No-LD #days between LDs [9 total LDs]: 13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9

LD #305 2024-05-28

Quote:

---

Scrambled eggs spill in car, turn off, people in red sports uniforms walk by, guy moons, get out of garage, minimum time, barriers, get out, meet people, ask "Hey are you going to the game?" they answer "Want to come, we have free seats!", decide "Yeah, I'll come!" think it's a football game, enter building, arena is indoors, "ah, must be basketball," no free seats (the guys decided to use all their tickets), arena packed, go to opposite corner to see the floor, it's not basketball, just a small gymnastics floor (pummel horse?) tucked into an odd corner of the building (not in the center), try to find the exit, one is closed by yellow rope, there is a construction area beyond the doors, turn back around, see exit (glass doors) to the outside across on the other side of the arena, start walking there, think people will wonder what's this guy doing wandering around the area, pass a gift shop bursting with colorful items, (sharp / long / skinny like arrows), turn and look at it, can see the crowd in the bleachers though the back window of the gift shop, I think "I shouldn't leave here, there are lots of people and objects here with which to engage the practice: [so according to the practice, I form the thought and feeling that ...] ... this is a dream....hey, in fact it is!" I engage with a girl there, I guess I closed my eyes or I lost visuals, but I opened my eyes in the middle of a deep kiss with a girl, and a beautiful Asian young woman's face is right there in front of mine, I gaze adoringly at her face, I don't know who she is, her eyes are looking into mine and I'm overwhelmed with emotion and say "You're so beautiful!" and she answers with a word that is a word used only between my wife and me. We continue the kiss and I wake up.

---

Reboot '24: No-LD #nights between LDs [10 total LDs]: 13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1

LD #306 2024-06-03

Quote:

---

(After "white berries" dream) ... walk towards the intersection (super steep street in CH city and E ave (grandpa's street)?) up the steep right-side sidewalk, turn right on to the level street. I enter a vehicle tunnel, very dark, at first I see some light poking through the right-hand wall (or a structure there) which may be a way out but I continue walking forwards. The tunnel is very dark and only about 2 car widths wide, I'm concerned that if a car enters, I may be hit, I want to get out of here. I see a door to the left, I open it and look inside, I can't see much but it is very dark and uninviting so I close it and go on. I catch a glimpse of light to my right, so I go there, I hope over a counter, and my dog hops over the counter along with me. I go forwards into a narrow dark corridor with light bleeding through exits to the left, I push one open and emerge into a BRIGHT, VIVID, scene around a swimming pool, so super "pool blue" in color, immediately the scene gets VERY clear and bright, and I get lucid instantly and feel the shift into super vividness, I nose pinch to confirm and yes I can breathe. There are a lot of people milling around, I detect cousin GL, and say hello to her. There are some young people, a boy and a tween girl, I walk over towards them, then wake up.

---

I check the time: 01:31! Only about 2 - 2.5 hours have passed since bedtime! Probably my earliest LD ever!

Reboot '24: No-LD #nights between LDs [10 total LDs]: 13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5

The average # of no-LD nights in between LD nights after the first 6 LDs is converging very convincingly to 5 nights.

LD #307 2024-06-12 ducks/geese, "don't stomp scare the ducks", duck comes, lie down on back eyes closed, duck nibbles eyeglasses, pet duck's head, open eyes, it's a girl sitting on top of me, look at her, think about her past, she is mouthing lightly/singing the words to a rap song, I get lucid, have erotic thoughts, remember my "goals, not girls", and start talking, "OK, here's what we're going to do, you start by..." and I'm also doing a nose pinch, my nose feels odd, and I have a fade to awake

Reboot '24: No-LD #nights between LDs [10 total LDs]: 13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8

Lessons learned:

• relax, relax, relax. Set intent once, no long repetitions, then forget it, let go, and sleep.
• TWR from TYoDaS: "If the practice didn't go well, don't feel discouraged or disappointed; this is part of the path. Instead, begin the day with the strong intention to maintain the practice of the foundations during the day, reinforce the intention to become lucid the next time you sleep if you were not, and to further develop lucidity if you were. Then begin the daytime foundational practices."
• the outlined synopsis of the practice from TYoDaS in chapter 20 [2022 ed.] is extremely helpful.
• forget past results. keeping both failures AND successes in mind produces pressure and mental tension.
• after setting intent ONCE, forget it, and let go completely, into relaxation and mind-wandering.
• LD and OBEs (and the process of falling asleep) happen outside of our conscious control. The mind knows what to do, get out of its way and the results will flow.

From Mark Gurrarian's books:

But how can the apparently “positive” act of basing one’s trust in previous successful OBEs lead to a potential failure the next time? It’s very simple: it easily puts you in a state of great expectancy[author's emphasis], and therefore anxiety. The best way to explain this is through my personal experience: If I think about all my previous successes before an OBE attempt, I automatically pressure myself to keep the bar high. This need for reassurance makes me feel doubtful, as if all my previous successes were just a lucky streak that will end sooner or later. The fear of not maintaining the standard of success [emphasis mine] is a clear indicator that I am identifying too much with an experience that is beyond my control to begin with.
...
Just in the same way you let go of the goal of having an OBE as soon as you lie down on your bed or couch, you should also let go of your previous results. Past performance is the pressure from that which no longer exists! The concern about keeping the bar high (in the case of previous successes) or not failing again (in the case of previous failures) is failing to let go of the OBE process. It’s not yours, you are not in control—just let it go.


Resources studied: "Astral Projection Without Tears", "The Illusion of Method".

2024-06-23 #308 DILD (LD #13 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10 ]
DEILD/dream chain, take a girl into a room, greet a guy, grasp hands, do my lucid ritual

2024-07-03 #309 DILD (LD #14 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9]
unpacking chest on top of bureau, walk around room

2024-07-12 #310 DILD (LD #15 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2] ]
couches with identical woman, huge open white room, Carol at table, introduce myself, hand me light saber, echo hallway, troupe of all-white-clad people walk right to left, hand through holographic display, fly to 2nd level sit at hamburger stand talk with Andy from company 3, eat hot dog as tough as leather, call 10354 because nobody gave their lightsaber

2024-07-12 #311 DILD (LD #16 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2] ]
get lucid from tiny people in glove, enter room, Suzanne B makes spaghetti but I want pizza, she takes my coat to tiny closet

2024-07-17 #312 DILD (LD #17 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2], 4[2] ]
nose pinch weird watch, house, living room, wife E w/message from heaven, introduce wife L, old stove, L leaves, I fly after her

2024-07-17 #313 DILD (LD #18 reboot '24) [13, 18, 16 [2], 0, 5, 9, 1, 9, 1, 5, 8, 10, 9, 8[2], 4[2] ]
don't remember start, in living room house full of kids, mass transform to cats, mass TK to couch, "what does a cat say?", to kitchen, DC asks "is it worth it to sell your soul?", eat chocolate ice cream no flavor

Long dry period. No lucids since the last ones noted here, 2024-07-17. Almost a month! Ouch!

Dreaming's been pretty poor as well with little recall.

There have been some health things going on, stemming from what was probably an overly aggressive caloric restriction diet. I've stopped trying to lose weight and my weight has stabilized and I feel better now.

I've had good to great to epic recall for the last several nights in a row.

Here's the list of a number of things I've changed recently:
I've made multiple simultaneous changes:
+ taking a break from losing weight. Eating quite a bit more carbs
+ going VERY hard on lucid presence, emphasizing deep presence above all. Long walks where I hold it the whole time.
+ specifically marking daytime experiences/things I see for remembering later.
+ journaling the walks later, recalling those things and writing them down
+ asking for help from the bottom of my heart, to have vivid, beautiful dreams and remembering them (and for lucidity)
+ cultivating gratitude
+ started DJing again regularly
And through it all, relax, relax, relax, chill, take it easy, not worrying about any results. Accept/surrender to whatever experiences (day/night) I have.

Oh, also: started supplementing Omega 3's (fish oil), lion's mane, ginko biloba
And walking a lot every day
SO, not very much (haha!)

Your accounts remind me of my struggles with insomnia and how much it sucks for us to get some nice quality sleep time, until I made a pleasant discovery one night. As I was laying in bed and meditating as usual I thought about having a more free-form session this time around. Since I always end practice whenever I surrender to any urge for physical movement, I allowed myself to revel in for a while, to return after and keep meditating. My only condition was a rejection for any compulsion to change position. If I felt the need to shake my legs, move my hands, stretch in place while meditating it was permitted. And I discovered that as the minutes progressed my mental state unknowingly slipped into drowsiness. There is a critical moment during this stage, when the body tries its hardest to drive some movement that if passed over, on the other side is the first time I have felt I can guarantee sleep. My point here is, that I think I have found something certain I can work towards improving every night. Where before sleep stood as this inextricable, unpredictable puzzle, I have found consistency in the uncertain environment I used to find myself in every night. And I wanted to tell you that, because insomnia fucking sucks.

Wow it's been a long while since I updated! Almost 9 months! And 13 total LDs in that time.
Around the end of January 2025 I decided to focus on traditional, LaBergian, cognitive approaches. PM, MILD mostly.

And my own Unified Theory: pay attention, reflect, recall.

Lost of emphasis on critical reflection. "The key of SOL" -- Self, Objects, Location.

The MILD variant I'm working on is Sensei's:

1. go through a dream with the intent of finding the times that you almost got lucid.
2. As you find them, figure out what you could have thought to get lucid and what sort of interrupting thought you would have needed.
3. Focus on that feeling of changing the dream in that moment with the plan of changing it in the next dream.
4. End. Go to sleep or go to the next dream.

I had 3 LDs in March, and 1 right at the end of February, so that's 4 within a 30 day period.

Ratcheting up the goal for April, 2025 to 6 LDs.