ZenLD

I was scouted by a talent agency or something. The lady who scouted me was kind of reminiscent of beyonce. She brings me to a small room with other idol candidates or something. The lady takes her makeup off and looks like an old middle aged man. Makeup is amazing really. I'm just not into the bunch. I am told by a skinny woman that I have to go through a program or something. She told me to take these pills that are dissociatives. She's trying to fear monger me into taking it by saying I have parasites in the body from ticks and I'm infected by all the monsters from the original pokemon series inside me and that these will cure me. I just put it in my mouth but don't swallow it. She tells me the dissociatives will help me focus. I call bullshit on her and spit it in her face. She shows a eerie smile saying that the drugs are already having an effect as my tongue is becoming numb. Begins to tell me pretty horrid stuff about regarding the beginning of the dream till now and how she'd use me. I begin to run. She chases me in a wild manic fashion and I try to stop her by stabbing her left eye with a needle but she doesn't bat an eye. Keeps chasing me.

wake

-I wanted to face this monster again and had that intention in mind. Maybe the monster telling me to value life. Maybe regarding traumatic event feeling used.

-I think this girl is related to the pervy jester from dream last night. I do admire her unflinching determination somewhat though.

-maybe being told I got parasite from eating sushi or something raw. Took some de.

-scene might be same world as the futuristic dream about digital drugs. Where kids were taking digital chip inputs directly into their brain.


I dreamt about being in a sciency building with some students there. Initially I was doing something I have trouble recalling with some kids - I remember trying to win something. Eventually I am going through tight places in the building and end up in a different room. It had a window overlooking the backyard. I remember some boy was being bullied so I help him somehow. I think I lured the bullies outside with food I think and trapped them somewhere, inside a shed. I was back inside saw and told my dad about the events. Trying to recall more...

But this dream plot continued on through many awakenings

-my intention to continue the previous dream applied to this one and not the first one

-compared to other students


Notes:

I have been having more nightmares lately - are they the same entity or part of the subconscious? They do give a similar feeling. Skinny girl, jester man, girl with sword, steel door, etc.. They give similar vibe. There was one with a full monster and I hugged and told it I love you and he disappeared. Maybe I need to do that. I also had daily nightmares when I started DJ that felt the same. Am I regressing or am I getting ready to face my shadows? I am more aware though. Nightmares more likely from sws dream rather than rem from what I read.

Maybe I need to consume this dream world. Eat it up or destroy it like hukif or sensei did. Create a black hole in me or something to really take in parts of me I've been avoiding. Just reintegrate myself whole. Create a better world! I'll keep this as a goal.

Maybe just remember to eat if scary and get lucid.

Shadow work