Xanous' Dream Journal

Aids:1/8 tea peppermint oil before bed
Methods:DEILD/WILD - FA
Morning Suppliments:500mg L-Lysine, 500mg C, 595mg Potassium Gluconcate, 1 Super B-Complex
Sleep Quality: Light, wakefulness, RLS

Huge Storm 1:12 AM
Huge storm coming. Riding with dad. I see storm shelter. I hear some song that reminds me of someone. And then another song. I remember an ex-girlfriend.
"I say I hate all songs."
I see Jeremy and Jess in the car with us.
"What song? I say do tunes to what you want."

Dude, Where's My Car? 3:15 AM ish

I am at my parents sleeping in a recliner. It is dark and I can't sleep.
I went to my parents with the kids. I am leaving. But I can't find my car. I see a white car that is stripped down. The kids think it's mine but I know better. We run down the street looking for it. I feel tired and weak and can't run well. I see white cars everywhere but none are mine. I don't want to call the police yet because I keep thinking that I remember that I parked in a strange place and I knew I would not remember. I tell the kids this.

Now we are in some nursing home and wondering around. Not sure what happens here. Something about me not being a good enough Christian. How I let bad things into my life. Thats why bad things happen. Some old woman? I feel guilty for lucid dreaming like it is a sin.

We leave. I tell my kids we got to look some more before we call the cops. Deanna says that Dalynn already did. I asked her about that. It was when I was holding her and she blew into a strange balloon.
She says, "Well that lady scared me. So I called the cops."
We run outside but I feel overwhelmed and too tired to walk. I lay down in the grass and dirt. I curl up on a mound of dirt. I tell the kids I just want to close my eyes. My body relaxes and I wake up.

WILD 3:30AM ish
When I wake up I am in the recliner that I moved to because of my RLS. I don't move a muscle. I relax myself and I roll my eyes into the back of my head and focus on my skull. Sleep Paralysis almost immediately kicks in.

I hear the familiar strong wind sound laced with rinings of the ears. I feel the familiar vibrations and windy sensations. I noticed this time that the sound and vibrations increased and decreased in intensity like waves on a beach. I make a quick note of this. I can feel my legs moving up. It feels like something has me by the ankles. I become afraid and I have to remind myself it is not real. I try to enter the dream but I get stuck in SP for longer than I wanted and because of the last dream I thought I was doing something evil. I keet telling myself that it was ok. And it wasn't real. You do this all the time and its always been fine. No good, the feeling was persistent.
I try to ignore the thoughts and visualise anything to move on. I my mind wonder and my dream eyes see.

I see a road. I am flying low and fast down a vivid and brightly lit road road hugged tightly by evergreen trees. I enjoy this but my eyes begin to opened and I see the dark living room with one eye and the road with the other.

I go back into full SP. Still the same feeling of guilt. I think that this is getting no where and I want to go back to my bed. So I suddenly and forcibly make myself get up. I stumble back to my bedroom. I heard and felt my loud footsteps.

I think how odd this is. I was feeling the vibrations like wind on my body. The loud sound of wind and ringing. Typical SP. Was it possible to not be truly paralyzed in sp?

I now find myself tangled in my blanket. I am standing by my bed and I can't find my way out. I am unsure of what happened. I feel so confused and my mind feels numb.

I say, "I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming." But my voice sounds odd. It is weak and unsure. Almost like I am asking a question. I am not convinced. Then I throw myself in the bed. Now I can find my way out. I feel half asleep and strange.

All my actions have woke my wife up. My wife mocks me. And complains how this is not good what I'm doing. She is pissed I woke her. I feel embarrassed and say nothing. She gets up to go the bathroom. I close my eyes and relax. But instead of going to sleep I wake up still in the recliner. God dammed FA!

I was so sure I was awake.