Xanous' Dream Journal

Brief WBTB at 3:45AM
100MG Caffeine Pill
SSILD
Wakefulness 2MG Melatonin 200MG B6
Switched to sleeping meditation. Probably too an hour or so to finally get to sleep.

111 The Headless Boy - DILD

I am a student in a classroom. The teacher is going various things and I am just sitting quietly waiting with other students. I reflect on how this is a recurring dream for me. Instead of becoming lucid I think that this is the reason for the dreams. They were actually precognative dreams because now, I am actually back in High School. I laugh at the irony.

*memory gap*

I feel really sick to my stomach at version of my parents house. I vomit a small amount in a toilet. I see my dad walking through the room. It is not a bathroom. (I was getting sick in real life)

*memory gap*

I am walking in around inside what appears to be a large elegant hotel. I wonder around from hallway to hallway and room to room feeling lost. At some point I notice I am carrying a small child cradled in my left arm. He is about the size of my son and I think of him as such. I see an elevator. I hit the UP button. I get inside and feel confused. I push both 2 and 1 floors but don't really know where I intended to go. I think I must be on the 2nd floor so I'll wait for 1st floor. The door opens and I decided to just walk out but some woman is blocking me.

*memory gap*

I am still walking around in the hotel. Did I just leave the elevator and the woman? I realize something and say to the child, "You know what? I just realized that I have been telling my self that I am dreaming and then forgetting it almost right away." Then, I remember this to be true. (I don't think it really was true but whatever)I look down at the boy and he smiles at me with an "AH HA!" expression. I look up and see more elevators. I am not excited at all just really content to be having a DILD.

I look back down at the boy and his head is missing. There is no blood or gore but smooth non scarred skin where his neck should be. It was like he was somehow born this way. It almost looked like the end of a chicken leg bone covered in human skin. Fear and horror grip me but I push it away. I say to him in a fatherly tone, "Now you stop that. You better pop that head right back out young man!" For some reason I look away at the elevator. Blurry. Still holding this creature, I look back down at him. His head is back. Now that I really look at him for the fist time I notice that looks like a hideous, real-life version of Stewie from Family Guy.

Sort of like this...............................but more Chucky like.




The fear returns. At this point, I remembered something that I had read before and wanted to try out. Was it Robert Waggoner or Stephen LaBerge that said to confront nightmare DCs with love and compassion? In a brief moment the fear was now gone and I really did feel love for him. With a huge smile I said, "I love you son."
The boy replied, "I love you daddy." His voice sounded a little like Stewie. Then, I looked away and felt that his presence was gone from me. I did not need to visually confirm this.

Now with no real goal in mind, I look around for something to do. I see a glass door leading outside and think this would be a great way to try phasing. I walk up to it and push on the glass with my right hand. The glass bows as I lean in. I distinctly see the bright light of outside, sidewalk and grass. During this whole thing I repeat to myself, "There is no glass." I try to imagine exactly that. The feeling of stepping through nothing but air. I push harder and I feel my body merge into a soft "bubble". The glass is curved all around me. Persistent, I continue to push. Finally I feel something give and I jolt forward, free of the glass.
Happy with myself I look around.

I see a busy street in front of the building and I decide to play in the traffic. For a brief instant the traffic freezes. I remember how I used to freeze time way back in the day. I try clapping my hands and imagine the traffic freezing but nothing happens. So, I decide to "force push" a passing car and it scoots sideways and crashes into a tree. The other cars swerve and there is a pile up on that side. I run to the middle of the other side and jump in front of cars screaming and roaring like some monster. They swerve and crash. The carnage is total but very cartoon-like and not realistic at all. Bored, I remember how I've done this before in the zombie TOTM and move on.

I go back to the building. I see some sort of colorful cloth awnings over the glass door and and several windows. The one in front of me is yellow with orange stripes.

Similar to this.



The building is tan brick but I think of circus tents. I see a yellow flag on a red fabric roof. It is only a two story building after all.I try to jump on top but I only get so high. When I float back down I feel my stomach turn and I laugh at the sensation. I wonder how I can feel negative Gs in a dream. Now I remember how CanisLucidus like to swipe the ceiling in real life. I wonder how it works in a dream.There is no ceiling out here but I improvise. I quickly rub my hands for stability. (Habit?) I jump at the bottom of the awning and swipe it. Again I feel the sensation in my stomach as I slowing float back down. Now I really try to jump on top of the building. I bounce several times gripping my stomach until I finally get high enough to grab onto the top. The roof feels like some sort of thick vinyl. I look around but for some reason I can't render the scene from up here. I feel extremely near sighted. The dream seems to be breaking up so I jump down back on the ground.

Now I have tunnel like vision. The darkness is closing in but I try to interact with the dream to squeeze out every last second. I see a beautiful woman in a convertible. The car looks a lot like this.



She is in the passenger seat and an old lady is driving. She seems to be of mixed race. She has a 70s looking afro. She smiles and waves at me. At that I run to her. Not thinking clearly but still lucid, I react on a whim. I close my eyes and kiss her passionately. The physical sensations are vivid. I get a grip on myself and let go. I begin to float away and find my self in total darkness.

I want to DEILD but I am truly sick and have to vomit.