nightmare

Wednesday, June 15th

III. Lucid #9: “An Experimental Experiment”

Unknown locale and situation bring me to this point. Memory picks up as I suddenly find myself left alone with A.D. It is quite dark in the room but I can still see. She gives me the smile I haven’t seen in years, we both lean in and begin kissing. The feeling is vividly familiar, I feel a rush and as she thrusts her waist against me I come almost instantly. The orgasm in the dream is very intense. Suddenly her shirt is off and I can see that my sticky fluid has gotten on her chest. I start thinking about what to do about that and hoping she won’t notice that I’ve blown it this early. To my surprise she begins telling me how sexy she thinks cum and blood and snot are; how she wants to be covered in it. She talks to me more vulgar than she ever did when we were together in physical reality, telling me to fuck the shit out of her etc over and over again. She puts my penis between her breasts, expecting me to do something rough. Surprised and upset, I stop what I’m doing and almost begin crying; there is none of the love and tenderness there used to be, only a nymphomaniac type hunger for obscene sexual gratification. She responds to this by walking over to another man who is suddenly now in the room and fellating him emphatically. I don’t feel particularly jealous, only slightly awkward about being in my first threesome and it being with another man, and it being with my ex lover. She cares nothing for this. She briefly knocks our dicks together and begins walking away.

I find myself and the unknown man following her through some woods, with many broken down amusement park rides randomly scattered in the trees. She tells me that we’re going to go “walk on the rides.” I see she now has some shorts on and I am still naked. Unknown voices soon begin telling me how this is an “experimental experiment” to get herself alone with me. However as we come to the bottom of a hill, Batman and Robin come dashing out from behind something and I run from them on sight. A more menacing voice tells me that this is actually an “experimental experiment” to get me to leave, which I do.

Next I remember I find my way back to a large room filled with bleachers of different species of humanoid spectators with many different colors of flesh and facial features. Everybody seems afraid, suddenly A.D comes running back in and throws herself into the arms of yet another man, yet again unfamiliar but I do remember him having short blond hair and sideburns. They begin kissing each other hard.

I wake from this soon after, only for a second with a T-shirt over my physical eyes so I awake to complete darkness. Falling back asleep a moment later, I drop back into the dream, this time fully Lucid. There are wide, elaborately decorated hallways back to the room I intuitively know contains her and all the spectators, and some people on benches observe me. The walls are purple or blue and bejeweled in spots. I decide (quite impulsively) to try to fly into this room and confront her. I focus on the doorway and try to superman-fly over there. I had been quite unprepared to become lucid again. I make it not quite halfway to the door before the dream dissolves into yet another false awakening, I am suddenly being led down very narrow, dank and bizarre looking corridors by hooded figures that are short and hunched over. Their heads are covered and their faces are not visible. The entire landscape is made up of discs piled one on another, getting smaller toward the top forming pancake-like pyramids. I see that the path I’m on continues far upward and I can see another place to land high above me. I decide to attempt to fly, again, and this time I don’t recall even making it off the ground.

I wake up to find that when I had an orgasm in the dream I also had one in physical reality and I will have to clean myself off. I am now feeling as if this was some sort of test, which I have inarguably failed.