Dragging my Mind Over the Gap Between Is's

Monday, June 27th

I. Back in High School

I am younger and living with my parents again, or at least I have drawn this conclusion because I am relying on my mother for a ride.

I am going to a show in Boston (I dimly remember that it might have been Wayne Krantz) with several friends, I remember K.S and C.H but no one else.

I have apparently bought C.H’s ticket and she is driving from her house, about 45 minutes away, to meet me at mine. I become distressed over the fact that all the seats in the car are taken and there is no room for her despite all that. My mother makes some pseudo-prophetic remark about someone changing something (?) and I tell her “No one’s ever changed anything” thinking this to be a statement of the law of conservation of energy. My dad recognizes this quote from a book we have both read (and therefore I assume in the dream is Kurt Vonnegut). This makes much less sense to me upon waking.

My memory skips to being in my old high school, presumably the next day. C.H finally arrives to meet me, in the middle of school. I attempt to apologize, but she says something to me quickly that I don’t quite make out and she walks away. End of recall of this dream.

II. 2 Brief Lucid Dreams Involving Songs

Unfortunately, the only thing I can clearly say about these dreams is that they happened.

I am sitting in my old high school cafeteria, but not at a table, I am in a chair in the corner of one of the hidden bathroom hallways with 2 other girls I don’t recognize who are also sitting in chairs. They are playfully singing some song with a melody unfamiliar to me in weird voices. I become lucid nearly the moment after I become aware that this is going on. I join them, making up my own lyrics about how “this is a dream, I am dreaming right now,” etc. I start trying to stabilize immediately. I’m decently sure that when this happened I had just woken up briefly and fallen directly into this dream and it was therefore very unstable from the beginning. I rub my hands on my knees and look at my feet, then start touching the walls (and I think the 2 girls stopped singing and just stared at me), but I don’t make it more than 10 seconds or so lucid.

I wake up and have this dream right afterward. I am at a house I’ve never seen before that belongs to K.S; it is just the two of us there. I am there for awhile I think, but I don’t remember most of what happens.

The only clear memory I have is standing in the backyard, which has a pond at the edge of it. I look and see a fiddle and some other strange looking string instrument (I think it mostly resembled a cigar-box guitar) floating in the water. I look for K.S to tell him about this, but I see him come outside right after this with a fishing pole.

Not long after this I become lucid again. I am either running around in the backyard, which must have suddenly been stepped, or on his rooftop. I am singing a familiar song to myself (that I did not know I knew the words to) quite loudly, thinking for some reason that this might keep me in the dream. I don’t remember what the song was but I remember that I didn’t make it through the whole thing.

III. Ask More Questions

I remember being in the Jazz rehearsal room of the arts building watching J.C and some other people playing. I walk out, I think I may have been a bit discouraged.

Suddenly I’m sitting with them all in a room, looks like a finished basement and we are watching T.V. J.C says something about how he requires all students to ask questions, and I haven’t been doing so at all (which to him I often don’t; I still have a very hard time not being intimidated, or maybe just cripplingly humbled, around him.)
He tells me that I should ask him more questions, and T.S says something about being more acknowledging in the hallway and not closing up so much. End of recall from last night.