non-lucid

Well its been a while folks, still really interested in all this but sometimes life gets in the way. Massively vivid dream last night, seemed to last a few hours and contained many recurring themes from past dreams. There is this girl I went to school with, she was always fairly quiet, but we got along well, and once we won a doubles tennis tournament when we were doing A-level PE. Despite never being close to her she seems to pop up in these dreams even more than ex's do which I find kind of odd. It is almost like I have grown feelings for her through these dreams when before them I did not really think I felt anything for her really. They are all just based around being with her at parties, trying to get closer to her etc, but even in these dreams i have barely got more than a quick kiss. Sometime during this one I remembered that she is now married with a kid, this should have ben enough to get me lucid but I didn't quite make the connection, although it did change the flow of the dream as we left the party. I headed to the beach and had some long weird dreams but the details are pretty hazy. Hopefully I'll be posting here more often now as the time and motivation are back and I know I will often be lucid if I just put in a little effort.

im going past my old school when some old mates invite me in. i see an old teacher and then say i am off to the shop. im riding and have to cross a river before 'handside' shops which are the same as in dreams years back. the lad in front of me shouts out as he realises the river is deeper than he thought. i ride through and it reaches chest height. i push on though and get through.

there are kids fishing under a tree at an idyllic spot. one of there hooks has got caught in a duck and the kid is panicking dragging it around. i stop him and say we have to be careful and unhook it. once the duck is free, it flies off in slow motion and looks like it splits into smaller parts to be light enough to fly. i see kilty who talks about this..

then it snows heavily and i go out for a walk in it. halfway round it melts and i suddenly quite warm and sunny. second time this week i miss this dreamsign. i am in a temporary hut type building with an old school class. we are discussing a race we are about to run. its kind of a triathlon with roller skating, running and a water section. me and three others. as we crawl out of the small door to the hut, we realise there is a horse race going on and they are jumping over us so it isnt safe to leave yet.

when we leave i roller skate away from everyone. eventually i get caught up somehow by people using some technique across the water. i am second going into the final running straight. its rare to run well in dreams but this time i was determined and legged it past my mate trying to run the finish out of him. i win and the teacher gives me a bunch of fivers. i say we should all go to the shop and get some stuff for a little celebration at someones house

unseasonable weather, hot in november. odd clothes, beige cords! old girlfriends. fights. paranoia. people on my roof. mixed friend groups at parties.

i was skateboarding near my brothers new house. all good fun but was finding it impossible to even walk up hills. then we decided to go out for the night. the first place we went to didnt serve booze but it had good looking food and great looking juice things served in massive fish bowl type things. i ate a hot samosa and it was incredibly realistic. we decided to go to manchester for a drink and a party. when we got there we went to my mates (Fi) work who said we were really early for the party but it didnt matter.

in an area that i relate to oxford for some reason. just has a rural england feel to it and seems to link to many previous dreams. there is a bush on the side of the road. it is about to flower but completely green. when you rub your hand over it suddenly all the flowers come out in bloom aswell as strawberries underneath. i hear an old rugby teammate (LM) shouting and go over to investigate. all i say is is that you L are you ok? she! says yes and just walks off with TL. marsh is there too so i go and chat to him. we run off down this field which has lions on each side. i then get invited to a party by daniel agger. all these things directly relate to things i saw just before bed

amazing festival type dream last night, k was taking me round for my birthday. col, rus, dan j, marm, jo p, michael caine, david cameron and stephen fry all featured. after festival we were all hammered and in this house which seemed to be this michael caine type characters place. loads of girls lying around, parts of the place were still like massive festival tents with people sleeping while i rode my bike through them. found Jo with an old aussie celeb, she looks tiny and we sit down and chat. kept going round and finding my stuff all over the house like nmy phone etc because i felt so hammered. dropped my phone while talking in a crowd, and then stephen fry fell on his back with an almighty thud. was ok but said he was off home or something.

later outside this kid gets bitten by a wandering spider that they were provoking. i manage to blag us a bus to take him to get it sorted. while leaving and hanging off the back of the bus, david cameron comes out in protest against the festival. he comes up to me and knows my name which freaks me out a bit (dreamsign). i grab him and shake him up to freak him out back.

on the bus and we spin through a field and tip over (major dreamsign). it comes to rest against a wall and everyone is safe.

must add losing personal belongings and worrying how much cash i have left to list of dreamsigns

first bit was just lying around on the usual beach and going from there to bars. then i was in a park with alot of people and there were also groups of lions around. got caught between two groups of them but they didnt seem too bothered by me. then later on i killed a little spider and was really upset with myself

yesterday remembered one where i was lying on my side in my front room, and i was just kind of propped up on my hip and floating round in circles. the kind of dream where it feels like it is practice for a wild. tried using this visualisation and its pretty good. just like trying to run through the air on your side.

did a long wbtb this morning then went back into a massive party dream based in my usual mix of holiday/town/bar etc locations. loads of old mates around. one girl (TR) says 'is it normal if i change clothes at work' then just strips off her top in front of us all. i am sitting down in this huge comfortable chair and suddenly her friend joins her in dancing around semi naked. someone wheels in this free standing double pole dancing set up for them. right in front of me i decide that it looks like some kind of weird sexy masonic ceremony with the two poles as the pillars. thats the last i remember for now

another repeated dream about having ducks and ducklings in the garden. this time it was out the front and i decided to try and dig a hole so we could put a pond in for them

ok so its been a while... most memorable moment last night was standing overlooking a field with my bro. it felt like a new place for us to call home. like we were out looking for some land or house to live in. to my left was a big church type building lining the field. in front of us i noticed that the land was bordered by quite a wide river which was great to see. it flowed right to left all along my vision with a channel cut going away from us which funneled some of it into a large lake system. we ran down the slope of the hill and started kicking a football around. i was trying to keep the ball under my control, but it was very difficult. not quite wading in treacle but definitely one of those sticky moving dreams where your feet feel like lead.

dreamsigns missed: river, football, amazing scenery

first im in a city and am confused if its manchester or london. the borough bgins with b (Bromsgrove? town somewhere else) but i cant remember it. its confusing because ive been here before ina dream, yet it feels like its somewhere i have visited in reality on one of my jobs. the confusion isnt q6uite enough to get lucid though. just off the main road there is a public garden and i see my parents and tell them to go round it because i remember how nice it is. the garden and the section of road it is on is covered in amazing fruit trees. massive melon, orange, plum and all sorts that just look amazing. i think there is some kind of local business that ive seen before that plantes the trees although i dont bother going into it this time.

next bit and we are going to a party at some old themed place. were on a bus and im right at the front behind the driver. the last road before the venue takes us along this amazing track that is on a river with trees growing over it. the bus flies down this which is scary but exciting.

we get to the venue and when i go through the door i have seen it before and it makes me think it is some kind of branded theme pub that ive seen before, but only in a dream. inside the main room is circular with a high ceiling in the middle and really low cramped spaces round the edge. it feels like everyone is waiting for some kind of tour/event but for some reason they are all sat round the edge. it feels massively claustrophobic so eventually i break from the crowd and lie down in the middle where there is loads of room. this breaks the fear and the party starts to happen.

im wearing some odd kind of flourescent yellow and orange top with colours that kind of fade into each other. i notice that some old mate has the same top on. he appraoches me and the colours of the top have spread accross his face into some kind of tribal paint effect.

next thnk i remember is being back in my garden. a massive eagleowl flies past so i tell everyone to look. 2 more start circling so i try to follow them. one young one lands on a tree. i go up to it although its really high up. it turns into some kind of albatross type thing which is still pretty amazing. i try to follow the others and suddenly i am in manchester in a big city centre park and they are hunting low down. im half running and half cycling round this park and i see a fox. i go round this corner and my wires (headphones?) get caught up with some kids. we try and pull them apart and laugh then untangle them.

im on the track at the side of the park and i see an owl on a post by the track. i cycle madly to catch up with it, then fail to break in time and fly past it. i turn around and luckily its still there. i head back and i see it is hunting a woodpecker. the woodpecker hides in the bush and the owl manically circles the bush looking for a way to strike. all this while i am just a couple of metres away. the owl is truely massive and the way it circles the bush is truely frightening. eventually it gives up and i get the feeling i have pissed it off by being so close. it turns on me and i take up a defensive position with my feet in the air because my shoes are the only thing that will protect from the talons. i subdue it somehow and manage to take it home. it ends up in a little porch while we discuss what to do with it.

i have a brief conversation with my mum which is the closest i get to being lucid. its fcked up cos i explain to her that ive just been in this park which i tell her that i know doesnt really exist in manchester, and i must just think it exists because ive seen it in a dream somewhere yet even this doesnt do the trick... i do a bit of research and a book says there is a species of eagle owl native to herts, which must be complete bull but it was nice to be able to read something properly

really weird one last night where i was at this agency type facility place ive been to often but never that consciously. what i remember was that we all sat through 3 screenings of this video, but for some reason it felt like a wasnt allowed to really be conscious for the first 2 and only really remember running up and jumping on this cushion i was holding and sitting down to watch the film on the 3rd screening, yet none of the film content whatsoever.

later on i had a moment where i was rearranging the posters on my wall and was shocked when i realised on waking up that they were all still in the same place. really felt like i had got up to do it in the night. then i got a bit contemplative in the dream and really emotional for no reason at all. it felt like i really needed a big cry to release some shit that has built up, but even the thought of crying made me feel really happy, like crying was just my way of letting off some steam and a way that i could be in control of my emotions. may try to actually have a crying session sometime, but its hard when you feel so different to how i did in the dream

did a long wbtb this morning 730-900 and woke up with that vague memory of having an amazing dream yet absolutely nothing coming to me at the time. hours later i remember the most amazing part of it. i was just driving locally and went through a local town (st albans). its an old roman town (verulamium) and it was like i was driving around it during roman times. there is a cathedral there now, but in the dream it was attached to this amazing vatican like mass of official looking buildings. it was probably all a bit too fancy to be like roman buildings actually were, but just the scale and the grandness of it all were so impressive. it was all enclosed and the road went straight through the complex through loads of arches and tunnels. the last thing i remember was driving through a tunnel and down into a labrynth type thing

first real apocalypse style dream last night. i was just standing with a mate and the sun was getting larger and larger. you could see the flames all around it and it seemed to be coming closer to earth. as well as the flames, it was also sending out all these bright red electric looking waves and pulses. the odd thing was there was no fear at all. in fact we were just walking towards it slowly. there was just a feeling of oh well if you gotta go this seems like a good way to do it. also a feeling of there isnt much point in trying to run or fight against something as massive and powerful as an expanding sun. it was just mind blowingly beautiful and that was the main feeling i remember from it

just a quicky to remind me of this fuckin randon play i was in last night. it was a cross between a kind of peter pan thing and a greek shakespeare style effort. i had no knowedge of any lines but had a main part and just made up complete bollocks as i went along. it wasnt like an uncomfortable one where you have an anxiety dream because of being unprepared. i just wondered why all these people actually trusted me to be doing it...? at one point i even got to stop for a spliff with the leading lady (MJ) and whoever was watching didnt care a a bit..

oh yeah and i was so far from getting lucid, yet kept doing nose plug rc which made people think i was wiping my nose all the time. i even explained that it was an rc and i wasnt just being disgusting, but i was so out of it, and into the normal dream that i had no chance/desire of catching on

i also did indirect techs in the morning, and found myself getting into a dream, yet carrying on with the techniques after i was in it.... very odd