Threxer

I recommend doing your best to write down each these stories as they occur, capturing as much detail as you can. Writing can be cathartic; by writing about things that are causing you unpleasant emotions, it can give you a bit of intellectual distance from the feelings themselves (or at least that's how it has always worked for me). It might also reveal patterns or insights that are escaping you right now, and allow you to better understand these experiences. It even sounds like it could be an interesting idea for a collection of short stories, if someday you decided to rewrite them in a more literary way.

{special case and the "Original"}March 21st, 25th and 29th 2014:
"Woke" mid stride in a restaurant walking towards a window table. A girl dressed in a casual jeans, black jumper and a purple striped scarf sat at the table reading a small, beige-bound book. She, I later learn, was called Katelynn she had black hair, a single blue eye and a single green one (green's the right);was roughly 5"4 and slim.
|Due to this being on a forum I'll skip a majority of the dream as it progressed day-to-day and I'd like to focus more so on the meaning of her passing rather than what series of events/effects lead me to progress in a relationship with her.
Skipping forwards two years, Me and Katelynn are both leaving a chemistry class we take and are going back to are apartment on the 4th floor of a complex two blocks away when 'Lynn gets a phone call saying that her parents and younger brother were involved in a head-on collision nearly half an hour ago and that only Jacob {her brother} lived and is currently in A&E. Neither of us own a car at that point due to student fees etc. so we call a taxi to take us to Nottingham (from Leeds). I vaguely remember consoling 'Lynn for the next six days as her brother is hospitalized. Unfortunately he eventually passed away due to lack of an available transplant {something to do with his lung or wind pipe-i can't remember}. 'Lynn spent the next three months at home skipping classes and refusing invites from her best friends. I took on two shifts of work at an old company that I used to be apprenticed in.
Four months post the accident 'Lynn still has't begun to recover and without any family of her own left and after rebuffing her friends for so long, I became the only social grounding she had. [At this point I want to say that despite being only 16 and probably never before being "truly in love" I don't think any other emotion would have evoked empathy from me as my love for this girl did. We often wept together and visited her family's graves and I felt I was fully prepared to support her through her recovery no matter how long it took.]
However, two weeks before her birthday in October, 'Lynn began to be more depressed than before: she kept talking about an "emptiness" and "how ridiculous it was that she'd be celebrating her birthday so soon without them."
Three days before her Birthday, on the 12th, I went out to the store to buy ingredients for her favorite Chinese five-spice salmon with sweet potato mash. But when i got back to the flat Katelynn wasn't in bed where I'd left her; she gone into the bathroom and taken the entire bottle of her antidepressant pills she was prescribed along with every other form of medication and chemical in the cabinet. She was laying there, eyes open slumped against the bath side, without a pulse.
At which point I properly woke up, hyperventilating each time.

If anyone has ANY clue as to what this dream and dreams like it symbolize or mean I'd love to have that sort of closure, thanks.