Thena

I'm at work when I hear a call for back-up cashiers. I head up front to see where I can help, but I'm confused by what I see. There's only one line, even if it looks a little long, and there's cashiers milling around with nothing to do. I question whether they really need any back-up and I decide I might as well hop on the first open register. There's a woman with several kids who had dumped a pile of things directly on the scanner. When I ask if she needs help, she says that she's using the self check-out and doesn't need a cashier. But we don't have self check-out. I realize she's a little confused, so I ring up her items. She tries to pay by check, but she signs the top of the check instead of the bottom. Also, she's signed with two names, and one of them is Sandor Clegane? Something doesn't feel right about this. I ask her for ID, and she tells me that she doesn't have one but it's her husband's check, so we'll have to wait for him. And we wait. And wait… Her husband finally makes his way over at a snail's pace. He takes a look at the total on the screen, but refuses to hand over any sort of ID. Instead, he claims they haven't spent enough money! He then wants me to tell him all the sales this week so he can figure out what else to buy.

By now, I'm getting really angry at how this family is wasting my time. I consider voiding the transaction and walking away, but I'm really not sure I can get away with that. I try to remember what this week's promotions are, but I'm stumped. It must be the first day of the week, and I probably didn't get a chance to check the weekly ads. But we have sales circulars for reference at every register. I grab the one at my register, except instead of a circular, it's a binder covered with flowers. I see a wire rack with more circulars, so I run to grab one. But when I take a closer look, I realize that they're just magazines. At this point, I see S, the security guy, walk past me in his uniform. I call out to him since I haven't seen him for a while. He stops, but he seems to shrink about a foot in height. He turns around and I see it's actually T, another coworker from a completely different area (who is also about a foot shorter than S). I ask him why he's wearing the uniform, and he explains that he's just helping out while S is on vacation.

I still need to find that damned sales circular. I decide to try grabbing one from another register, but there's a little obstacle in my way: a pond. Yes, there's a pond in the store, apparently. It's about five feet in diameter and it's blocking my path to the closest register. Oddly enough, it looks just like the retention pond outside my old junior high school. I skirt around the pond's edge, but somehow I end up walking through the water. It's not very deep, barely coming up to my shins, but I can feel my feet sinking into the mud. There's a girl I don't recognize working on the register next to the pond. I ask her for a sales circular, and she smiles as she hands over her copy. But this isn't what I expected. For one thing, it's handwritten, and it's dated May 6th. None of this makes sense… because this is a dream. There's a moment where I'm full of indecision, not sure what I should do: tell the irritating customers to get lost or abandon this dream scene entirely by spinning.

Almost immediately, the dream starts to fade. I focus on the sensation of sinking into the mud and try to ignore my real body. It's a bit difficult, but eventually I'm back at my register with this crazy family still not finished checking out until I tell them what's on sale. I hit the void key, toss the void slip at them, and walk away. I've had enough of them.

I start walking the perimeter of the store to give myself enough time for the dream to stabilize. I'm joined by S as I walk. At one point, we come across a large crowd that's blocking our way. S barges ahead, but he transforms into yet another coworker. I watch his back as his uniform fades away and turns into a different shirt. The crowd grows thicker and keeps me from moving forward. I don't know how to get through this obstacle at first, then I have an idea. I shout, "HEY! PREGNANT LADY COMING THROUGH!" The crowd immediately parts. I look down and see that I am very, very pregnant.

The store fades away and I find myself in a hospital birthing suite, lying on a bed, preparing to give birth. There's no pain. In fact, there's no pressure or any other sensation that I would have expected. Really, I just feel happy that I'm finally about to do this. The baby comes out -- except it's not a baby I see, but a six-foot-tall man wearing swim trunks. He's very tan and has extremely light blond hair that looks like it's been bleached by the sun. He looks at me and says, "Bro, I've gotta catch some waves. See you later!" before taking off. I'm confused why he would call me "bro."

Next to me, someone says, "You know, I had hair that light when I was a kid." I look over and realize the man standing next to me is Benedict Cumberbatch, and I remember him saying something similar in an interview last year. He stands up to leave, and I see that he's wearing a tuxedo and carrying a top hat. I ask him to stay. Actually, I start pleading with him to stay, but he says he has an event to go to. Then I wake up.

I am watching a documentary that shows sweeping vistas of a house on the shore of a lake in Sweden. The camera zooms in, and suddenly I am standing in front of the house. It's a cute split-level ranch that looks completely unassuming, but then I spot the plaque near the door: "The Private Residence Of A Queen." Then Queen Silvia of Sweden steps out the front door. I wonder why she needs a private residence when she has a palace. Or maybe this is where she lived before she married the king? I'm startled to notice that there are Starfleet insignia details in the brickwork, which instantly makes the house so much more interesting.

Then I am taken to a private reception with the King of Spain and the crown prince. We are offered some special cheese from northern Spain that has all these raisins in it. The king wonders how they started making cheese like this, and I started giving a lengthy explanation of the history of the town where the cheese comes from. The king seems delighted with my command of history. Actually, the look on his face implies that he finds me delightful, too. His son, the crown prince, immediately moves to shield me from his father's attention.

My goal tonight was to try for the bonus task, but my subconscious had other ideas.

It's raining heavily. My friend Lura and I are walking down a street in my neighborhood when she spots something in the tall grass. She pulls two large tortoises out of the grass. They remind me of the giant tortoises I saw in the Galapagos Islands and I'm at a loss to explain what they're doing in the Midwest. Lura says we should call Sea World to pick them up.

The rain continues, and I duck into a car to write a letter to Sea World about the tortoises. I glance at my reflection in the window and find that I now look like Ellen Pompeo.

Somehow, I've moved on and now my sister and I are checking out an apartment building. This place is very bland-looking, and judging by the age of the residents, it looks more like a nursing home. As we pass one doorway, I point out to my sister that it's a laundry room. There are two older women in the next doorway who overhear me, and they point out that some units have their own laundry hook-ups. They invite us in to take a look. Somehow, I end up sitting down at their kitchen table as one of the women prepares breakfast. She offers me some milk, which I decline. That sends her on a rant about how young people don't drink milk anymore while I struggle to explain that it makes me sick.

After a brief awakening, I go back to sleep while mentally going over the previous dream

I'm back in the apartment building near the office. There are two residents who are arguing over the landlord over the cost of their phone bill. His response is to post some complicated chart with rates. I can't make sense of it, so I move on to find the apartment I was in earlier. But I get lost in the maze of hallways. I can't even remember the number of the apartment. I turn a corner and find myself in a department store. I see a crib for a baby and it reminds me of the bonus task, which helps me remember that I'm dreaming. I try to think of a way to start the bonus task, but instead the dream shifts. Now I find myself on stage with a band. In the audience are members of many of my favorite rock bands. I remember that the advanced task is to perform for an audience, so I decide that my band is going to cover one of my favorite songs. However, the guitar player starts off playing Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze." I panic for a second because I can't remember the lyrics, but after a few bars, I manage to go along with it. I can see the ex-drummer of my favorite band is sitting right up front, and his head is bopping in time to the music. He seems to be enjoying it.

I "wake up" to find that I was sleeping in church. I'm amazed that I managed to stay asleep long enough to accomplish the advanced task, even if that wasn't my original plan. My college roommate is sitting next to me, and she tells me that she's done packing her things. I go outside with her to her car to say good-bye. I'm amused to see that her car has front-end damage and the driver's side door has been ripped away. She never was a good driver. Meanwhile, my car is parked right next to hers and its in perfect condition. I can't remember if I've packed, so I grab a few bags from my trunk and head back inside the "church." Oddly enough, this place looks like my pantry. There's a woman there who reminds me to pack any food that I brought with me when I moved into the dorm, so I start filling my bags with the stuff I find in the pantry: two-liter bottles of soda, jars of marinara, boxes of pasta… There's one package of spaghetti that looks like it's gotten wet, leaving all the noodles limp. It dawns on me that uncooked pasta shouldn't look like this even if the packaging gets wet, and this time I wake up for real.

Successful WILD attempt, but I wasn't as successful in staying lucid the whole time.

I know I have to go in search on the witch who is holding Hansel hostage. I start out in my kitchen, trying to figure out how to get to the witch's cottage, and the easiest way seems to be to search by air. I fly up through the ceiling, crash through the roof, and flew Superman-style through the air until I spot the cottage.

Once I got inside, the witch chases me around a large table, trying to get me close enough to the oven to push me in. My clothes have changed at this point. I am wearing some kind of blue and white peasant dress that is really low-cut. This seems to get the witch to change tactics; before cooking me, she is going to pimp me out to make some extra cash. Now that's really evil. She brings in the first "customer" and I run away from them. Somehow find myself running past two coworkers. They are hiding merchandise in a locker, and I am curious about what they are doing. I find a larger group of coworkers and notice that one of them has changed her hair color. I tell her how much nicer it looks. Then I move onto the clearance tables and start folding clothes and rearranging everything to make it easier to shop. There's a woman who asks if I have a specific size, so I start reading off the size labels to emphasize that it's not here.

I was at this cute little chapel meeting Dad. It seemed odd that he would come to a church so different from the one he normally attends. Most of the congregation seemed eager to meet me when they realized who my dad was. They were having some type of bake sale, except they were selling salads instead of baked goods. I purchased a potato salad just to be nice. As I was leaving the chapel, I took a look around and thought about how it would be a cute place to get married.

Once I was outside, Dad started criticizing me for buying the potato salad. He kept going on about how it had been sitting out for too long and would give me food poisoning. I threw it away and climbed into my car, eager to get away.

The exit to the parking lot apparently went the wrong way down a one-way street, so I made a right turn into an unfamiliar neighborhood. On my right was a playground. There was a lot of snow on the ground and I could hear children playing, although I couldn't see any. That seemed a little odd, and I worried about hitting a child if I couldn't see them coming. I pulled over at this house on the left. There was an older woman named Helen who lived there, and apparently she was a friend of mine. There was a corner of the house where there was no roof, and she was complaining about how snow somehow kept coming into that room (because there's no roof, duh!). I was about to suggest that she hang some sort of tarp and install a floor drain so that the water had somewhere to go when the snow melted.

I went to see a movie today and got my first look at the trailer for "Maleficent" with Angelina Jolie, who seemed to be making recurring appearances in my dreams.

After driving through downtown Chicago, I'm staying in a lakefront house where one whole wall of the house is windows facing the shore. While exploring the house, I come across Angelina Jolie. She's wearing half of her Maleficent costume and seems pretty confused. She gives me a phone number to call to bring her tour bus to pick her up.

I woke up somewhere around four AM and decided to make a WILD attempt. I'm not usually as successful at these when I know I have to be up in a few hours, but apparently I'm on a roll this week.

I'm in a bar. I focus a little bit on stabilizing the dream, running my hands over the bar top and noticing details (where these rounded bullnose countertops?). I even drop a quarter in the jukebox and sit back as a Huey Lewis song comes on. I remember that one of the tasks is to do tequila shots with a DC. The first DC I come across, believe it or not, is Angelina Jolie. She seems like a cool person to have drinks with, so this won't be so back. We order a couple rounds of tequila shots with lime and salt. I haven't actually done this before, so it takes me a little while to figure out how to coordinate taking a shot before doing the salt and lime. Angelina is kind of amused at this. I start telling her about my problems at work and she listens carefully before suggesting that maybe I'm too good for my job. She talks a little bit about her kids and what baby products she found useful (since I sell baby gear). After a few shots, I suggest maybe I could come home with her and watch her and Brad have sex. This makes us both giggly and I wake up.

I'm on a cruise ship sailing into port. I'm lounging on the Lido deck and looking at the ship parked next to us, which appears to be from Royal Caribbean judging from the distinctive crown and anchor logo. Everyone else is buzzing about going ashore, and I should probably be getting ready myself, but where am I? I have no idea what port this is. I have an idea that feels brilliant: I'll check Google Maps on my iPad and see what my current location is. But it's not so simple. Google Maps takes forever to load, refuses to show my location, and seems really hung up on a landlocked plateau in South America. I give up and run to my cabin. There's a Costco reusable shopping tote on the floor, and I ponder whether it belongs to me or to one of my roommates. I'll have to see where I can get one for myself. I pop into the bathroom and use the toilet. I look out the window as I'm going -- and realize that this isn't a toilet, but actually a lounge chair on the balcony and people on the ship next to us are watching me pee. I look over and realize my stepmother is sitting on the lounge chair next to me, and she has a look of disgust on her face.

I must have started to wake up. The dream ended, but I realized I was still physically asleep while my mind was awake. I needed to take advantage of this!

I really can't remember my last dream (in fact, I didn't remember anything from the cruise ship until I got up later) but I can remember only one of the tasks of the month: use the Force. I picture an inflatable blue ball, sort of like a cross between a basketball and a soccer ball. I toss it around a bit using the Force to guide it up and down, back and forth. The ball deflates and one of my coworkers appears, a woman who is not that bright. She offers to show me where I can get an air compressor. I follow her until she finds the appropriate model. Then, using the Force, I shove her away and prevent her from saying any more useless things. Then I use the Force to insert the needle attachment into the ball, connect the hose to the needle, and telekinetically flip the on switch on the air compressor.

I feel that using telekinesis just isn't enough. I let the Force flow through me, and suddenly I feel thousands of Expanded Universe characters crying out in despair over being erased in the new movie. That's a shame. I really liked Jaina Solo.

I try to think of other things I want to do, and I see a door open. Inside are a couple of men wearing suits. I remember a dilemma I was having with my boss and I summon him out of the room. Then I use the Force to pin him against a wall and tell him, "You will approve my request to supply power to the display models in my department." He looks terrified and nods in agreement. I can hear birds chirping outside and realize I'm losing the dream. The problem with using the Force for everything is that my sense of touch helps me stabilize. I summon a light saber so I can grasp the hilt. Unfortunately, instead of a "real" light saber, I get my friend's toy light saber. I feel the plastic hilt and try to focus on summoning a more realistic light saber like one from the movies, but I wake up too quickly.

I was contemplating a work issue and hoping to get some new ways to deal with it from my dreams. I'm not quite sure I could see the answer from this one.

I can hear the sound of an ice cream truck, so I grab my money and head outside. The truck drives past me at first, and I'm disappointed, but then it comes back. Dad appears and asks me to find out if they have sugar-free ice cream. There's a crowd forming around the truck and I ignore his question for now. I'm shouting my order to make sure I get it. I'll ask if there's anything Dad can eat once the crowd settles down.

I find myself quite a long way from home and I want hand lotion for some reasons. I walk into a warehouse that has several display counters. I locate a counter that has the lotion I want and approach a salesperson, who takes me to a completely different counter. Then I leave the warehouse. I bump into a woman who appears to be Harriet Roberts from the show JAG. She hands me a red bag with the name "Worthington" on it and congratulates me. Inside, I find what looks like a license and test results from the bar exam. Apparently I passed the bar exam. I feel a swell of pride, even though there's a voice in the back of my mind reminding me that I've never taken such an exam. I go around telling people, "I passed!" because I'm so happy.

WILD attempt after waking up an hour before my alarm…

It feels like I've been asleep forever while waiting for some sort of dream imagery to appear. I decide to try something different and have my dream body climb out of bed. I see my bedroom really isn't that much different than usual (there's always something weird about it in my false awakenings). I move onto the bathroom, which also looks the same. In fact, the only weird thing I've found is that I'm wearing a very sheer white nightgown. I might as well be naked considering how see-through it is.

Somehow, I find myself in the kitchen. I see dishes piling up in the sink and I start to load them up into the dishwasher when I realize I already did this before going to bed. I concentrate on my desire to try the Beauty and the Beast task, then leave the kitchen. I find myself in a dark room where the only light is from the fireplace. There are bookshelves lining the walls and two armchairs in front of the fire. Someone comes from behind and guides me towards one of the chairs, murmuring something about how I must be cold. This must be the beast. I turn so I can see his face, except he doesn't seem to have a head. Wrong story -- this isn't supposed to be Sleepy Hollow.

The beast sits down in one of the chairs and pulls me into his lap. This time when I look, he really is a proper beast with a head and everything. To my surprise, he looks like the one from the Disney movie (I had hoped my subconscious would be a bit more original than that). But he has very soft fur and I spend a lot of time stroking it before whispering, "I love you." He's a bit too tall for me to kiss while I'm sitting, so I have to shift around so that I'm straddling his lap. But I do manage to kiss him, even managing to slip in a little bit of tongue even though there was no French kissing in the movie. I break off the kiss and pull away to see what the beast has turned into now that the curse is broken, and I find that I've just kissed Fabio.

My gut reaction is, "EW!" because I really don't find Fabio all that attractive. He's more like a caricature of the type of guy I do not like. I'm so shocked that I somehow find myself standing in front of the linen closet in the upstairs hallway. I reach for a towel, then notice that there's an odd light at the back of the closet. Something tells me that it's a portal and that I should take it, so I slide between the shelves to get to the back of the closet. I find myself face-down in mud. Someone picks me up and guides me towards a waterfall cascading into a pool of water. Fabio is waiting there with a bottle of shampoo. I immediately think, "No way." The scene shifts and I'm back into the room with the fireplace. This time, Sherlock Holmes (the Cumberbatch version) is sitting in the chair opposite me. He starts trying to psychoanalyze my unusual reaction to finding out that Fabio was my un-cursed prince and he seems amused that I'd rather talk to him than play in the waterfall with Fabio.

I'm on a tour of haunted cemeteries. A few things seem a little off. There's this house that shows up several times on the tour in different places, almost like the house is following me and keeps appearing every time I look over my shoulder. Another weird thing is that we're told that the haunted cemeteries are the ones where slaves are buried, and one of the first ones we visit has a wooden gate with the words "Slave Entrance" scratched onto it. Why would a cemetery need a separate entrance for slaves?

I start to wake up, but then remember that I need to stay still with my eyes closed. It takes a little while before anything appears, and I start counting to stay focused. I find myself at work. Remembering the tornado task, I step out through the back door and look to the east. The sky is sunny, but as I focus, storm clouds appear. Then I watch the tornado form in the distance. It comes towards me as the base widens. I listen for the sounds of the storm, remembering that it's supposed to sound somewhat like a train. Instead, I hear thunder and… is that the score from the movie "Twister?" I just watched that movie the other night, and I really did like the music. I reach out to measure the width of the tornado with my hands – and find myself back indoors, holding a coiled-up rug.

I put the rug down and find a flower pot. It's already filled with soil, and I drop a single seed into it. Nothing happens at first, so I wave my hands over the pot as if I can make it grow. A single stalk shoots out, followed by two more, but there's nothing on them. I force the shoots to retreat back into the soil and come back as something more interesting. The second time, it comes out with a single daffodil. Much better. I wonder if there's anything else I can get out of this that would be more interesting, so I send the daffodil back into the soil. On the third try, an oak tree starts growing out of the pot and shoots upwards. My first thought is that I should climb it, since climbing trees is something I've done before in lucid dreams but it's not something I can do in waking life anymore.

This tree isn't so easy to climb, as the branches are too far apart for me to get both a handhold or a foothold, but I manage to get up into it. I look up and see stars above me, which reminds me of the bonus task. Could I climb the tree all the way up into space? I start climbing higher, but I can't see to get far enough. I start waking up again, but I go back to counting to stay focused. My counting turns into a launch countdown as I sit in the cockpit of a space shuttle. I blast off into space, though I seem to have lost the shuttle somewhere along the way. I watch as the planets zoom past me, first Mars, then Jupiter and Saturn, until I get to my destination: the moons of Uranus. I picked this planet because its moons have Shakespearean names, and one of them happens to be my given name. I land on "my" moon, which seems awfully tiny. It's like I'm standing on a large boulder. I stay on it for three orbits around the planet. This starts to get a little boring after a while, so I start spinning to see where I end up at random. I find myself on the surface of a moon. This time, the moon is large enough that I can see the lunar landscape all the way to the horizon. The sky above me is dark and full of stars. I can even see Jupiter and at this distance, it's as large as the sun appears on Earth.

There's a space capsule on the surface, and I walk into it. There's an astronaut inside who is going about his usual routine. He looks at me, comes towards me, and, um, we get into some really kinky activities. While I am flipped over on my belly while the astronaut guy does stuff, I'm watching plants growing in a hydroponic bay. There are roses growing in a pot, and more rosebuds appear and bloom as stuff happens, which seems pretty cool.

At work, I was putting bottles of shampoo out on the shelves. For some reason, these bottles where enclosed in a clamshell-type plastic anti-theft device. It didn't make sense that something this inexpensive would need an anti-theft device. I sought out my security guy. He gave me two keys and sent me to a Home Depot across the street with specific instructions on where to locate the parts for another anti-theft device.

The Home Depot was closed, but for some reason people were swarming into the darkened store. I looked at the keys that the security guy gave me, but one of them had bent in half in my hand. The other looked really thin, like something had shaved it down. I tried to remember the directions to the parts I needed, but I couldn't barely remember what he had said.

But now I had more important matters to think about. It was Friday night, and I was worried. I had two classes on Saturday and I had missed two weeks of class while I was out of town. One of them was a law class with some heavy reading, but I couldn't remember what I needed to read for class. In fact, I couldn't remember reading anything for the class at all during the two weeks I was gone. I had one night to get caught up. I tried to read the syllabus and noticed that this class had a lot of group work. Why the hell would I take a class like this and then go out of town for two weeks? I started to panic, realizing I would never get caught up.

On top of everything, Dad wanted me to come over to some apartment building where he was living, even though I didn't have the time. I drove over there, and at the parking entrance, he waved me over to some special part of the lot where there was resident parking. This area was blocking off by a barbed wire fence. As I parked my car, I thought it looked a little weird to see this kind of fence around only a portion of the lot.

At this point, I awakened briefly, realized that the dream had just ended, and was somewhat successful performing a DEILD.

I'm dreaming again. I find myself at work, and I've been told to take a new employee somewhere. I look at this new employee and even though she's not conventionally pretty, she has really soft lips. There are a lot of things I wanted to do in my next lucid dream, but instead, I decide that I really want to kiss her. I lean in, touch my lips to hers, and I'm so overcome with emotion that I wake up.

Two friends and I dress up as nurses and persuade the concierge at Benedict Cumberbatch's hotel that we're here to take him to a private clinic for treatment. As we're waiting for Benedict to come downstairs, I try to sign the register using the name "Kit," which is obviously a fake name. Benedict quizzed me on whether or not Kit was short for something, and I came up with "Katherine Isabelle," which he told me was a very pretty name.

We went to sit down in an adjacent lounge while the other girls got our van-turned-fake-ambulance ready. I felt like something was off with one of my shoes. Looking down, I noticed that I was wearing combat boots that weren't fully laced. I took the boot off and discovered I also had an ankle brace underneath it, but it was also unlaced. I removed the brace to re-lace it, and found yet another ankle brace underneath that one.

Somehow, I find myself outside to see my parents getting into a cable car. I join them, but then a set of glass doors close over the sides of the cable car. They're inside the glass and I'm left outside, clinging to the car so I don't fall off. The cable car takes us to the airport. Dad and I talk about how complicated it is that I'm flying to one city with them and then taking a second flight home. We stop at the ticket agent to see if we can get me booked on a direct flight home. There are all sorts of complications and I'm not sure it can be done. Not sure of where I'll be flying to after all, I head for security. I put my suitcase on the belt to be x-rayed. On the other side, there are glasses of champagne coming out of the x-ray, but the belt does not stop when the glasses reach the end. I'm frantically trying to catch each one.

I'm in a church. Little bags containing rosaries are passed around. As the congregation begins to pray the rosary, I take mine out of the bag and realize something's not right. My rosary has all the beads squished together with no spaces and it's much smaller than the ones that everyone else has. I start to recite the first prayer, but I get confused: is it an Our Father or a Hail Mary? Why do the words sound wrong when I say them? Why am I saying the prayer out loud and everyone else is praying silently?

I don't want to call attention to myself by saying the wrong prayer so I head to the back of the church, where there's a diner(???). I sit at the counter and call a friend, who wants to come meet me after the service is over. But in the meantime, she asks me to order her some "deep fried moo shu." Immediately, I think this is completely bizarre dish name. I'm sure the waitress behind the counter is going to think I'm insane for ordering, but she and the short-order cook don't even flinch.

I start thinking back to the deal with the rosary and the church service, and the scene shifts. This time, I'm in a hospital corridor. I walk into a room and see my dad in the bed, hooked up to machines. Now I know this is wrong because he's been out of the hospital for weeks. I know now that I'm dreaming, and I start spinning because I really do not want to be in this place.

At first, I find myself in some kind of subterranean chamber where the walls are made of packed dirt, but then the walls turn white and the diner counter appears in front of me. There's a square-shaped plate in front of me with Chinese food. I think of the Easter egg task, and brightly-colored eggs start appearing on the plate. I select a violet egg and open it. A tiny bird flies out of the egg, and when I look closer, I see that the egg also contains a large aquamarine set in a massive gold ring. Then I pick up a second egg, a light gray one with a snowflake etched in white. When I open it, a tiny frog jumps out and hops away.

I start trying to remember what the other tasks are and remember that one of them is to prank a DC. The diner fades away and is replaced by an office. I see a guy walking past me and ask him, "Hey, can you do me a favor and run down the street to get me a Diet Coke?" He agrees and steps outside through a glass door. As soon as he's gone, I lock the door so he can't get back in. But I realize that this is a pretty lousy prank, not to mention I can't be sure he'll come back in this dream. I turn around and see another guy, and think of the most basic prank I can remember. "Dude, your shoelace is untied," I point out, then snicker as he stops to check his perfectly-tied shoes.

The church service from earlier is still on my mind, and I wonder if it's due to my anxiety over Easter coming up (I'm not a practicing Catholic but I'll have to go take my Dad to Sunday Mass). I start wondering if I'll remember what to say at the right time. The next thing I know, I start making up my own creed: "I believe in evolution. I believe in making up my own mind on what to believe and letting others believe what they choose…"

I was really onto something there, but then the phone rang and woke me up.

I was riding in an open carriage through the countryside, possibly somewhere in Denmark. There was a woman sitting next to me, and she leaned over to whisper, "I heard your stepmother tried to cut you out of your father's will. Do you need help?" I turned to face the woman and realized it was the Queen Mother. I also noticed that my sister and my (now former) stepmother were sitting across from us, which is why the Queen Mother was whispering. I reassured her that all of my father's assets were put into a trust before he remarried and my ex-stepmother could not change it.

I returned the fancy house where I was staying. It seemed that it once belonged to a wealthy aristocrat who had died and my family may have been distantly related, so they were evaluating us to be heirs to his title. The staff at the house showed me to my room, which had some fancy bed. I laid down for a while but quickly realized that I had gotten my period and leaked all over the sheets. The staff was horrified; apparently the bed linens were also priceless antiques. I was told that this was probably going to count against me in the evaluation.

I went down to the kitchen, which seemed really crowded with furniture. There was a breakfast bar with seating, something that I've considered adding to my current kitchen. However, I couldn't figure out why there was another table shoved right in front of it that kept me from getting to the bar.

Continuing my explorations, I found that the house had a second kitchen. Now I was really confused. What was the purpose of having two kitchens in one house? I moved onto the living room, where there was a party in progress. I spotted the actor Brent Spiner sitting on the couch and had the brilliant idea that I should try and take a selfie with him.

I left the house and made my way to what seemed like a convenience store, except it was full of space posters and NASA administrator Charlie Bolden was working behind the counter. I looked at a poster of an astronaut posing in front of the space shuttle and decided that I should get ready to go into space.

Two girls at work persuade me to put on a red sparkly bustier. I complain that it's too tight and I want to take it off. But they tell me they can't take it off right because they're too many people around. While I'm waiting for the two girls to help me undress, I have an idea. I send one of them to go get a boy that I used to have a crush on because I want to him to see me wearing this sexy top.

Somehow I find myself wearing a sheer white nightgown with a black bra. I started running around looking for someone but then I realize this gown is way too see-through. I grabbed a plush white hoodie and put it on to cover up. Before I can zip up I run smack-dab into a guy. We collide and he has to grab me so I don't fall over. I can feel his hands through the sheer material.