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Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I needed to go to the bathroom really bad. I was running into a public restroom. Some woman, possibly a pretty, young woman and possibly my mother, was using the first stall I saw.

I was apparently wearing a pair of pink panties under my pants, and I didn't want there to be any chance of the woman in the stall seeing me. So I ran to a set of stalls at the far end of the restroom.

Two stalls were inside a larger, stall-like area. One of the stalls didn't have any lock, or even a handle, on its door. I had gone inside it, but now I ran out. I ran to the next stall. The lock on this stall's door was really loose. But I decided it was good enough. If somebody tried to push it open, I'd have enough time to reach up and push the door closed.

I sat down on the toilet and started peeing (?). Before my eyes I now saw a list of films by Werner Herzog. They all seemed to star Claudia Cardinale, as if she were Herzog's main actor. Each film would have a description below it. The descrption was in a thin column. Some descriptions were just a small paragraph. Others were almost a page long.

I caught sight of a few descriptions of some films. The films all had a theme of a woman sinning or doing something to betray somebody, usually a man, and then having to go through retribution for all this, apparently from fate, by being put through all kinds of weird, embarrassing, or painful situations.

I couldn't quite remember what the Herzog films were which I'd seen starring Claudia Cardinale. But it didn't seem like this was the theme of those films at all. So I scanned through the list (how? It seems now like the list was just some image scrolling in the air before my eyes), looking for the films I was familiar with.

Something I read said that Herzog's later films with Cardinale got weirder and weirder, and that the women characters kept being put through more and more absurd situations. I saw some later films, some as late as 1986. But then I saw "one of Herzog's first films" listed. It was called Yvonne Rainier, and it was from 1910.

Apparently this film had something to do with a nun who'd betrayed a man, probably a priest, and the trials she'd had to go through as "fate's retribution" after this.

I now had a vision of a black and white film, almost as if I were watching from some place within the film. There was possibly some old, small chapel that had something of a medieval style to it. Some nuns were standing outside the church, talking to each other. The film was a sound film, and it seemed like the setting was America in the 1950s.

There was a nun in white. She was the main character. Now a couple of priest-like men walked past the nuns with a group of schoolchildren. The group walked into a spacious, lawny cemetery that was right next to the chapel.

The priests stopped the students in front of what was an apparently important grave. The grave had some kind of tall, church-shaped marker. Before the marker were two rows of small, stone markers.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was flying a helicopter over a river at night. I was coming up on a big cityscape, the lights of which had a low, buzzing, brownish-yellow color, almost like hypnagogic vision.

In the helicopter with me was a good looking man, maybe 15 years older than I, with blonde hair and a tan face. I was giving the man grammar lessons. I was trying to explain something about the way Homer used poetic expressions to give more vividness to his battle scenes.

I pointed out a few examples. But then I felt like I was being too condescending, acting like the man knew nothing about grammar at all. So I tried to think of another way to explain things that would assume more intelligence in the man.

But now the man told me, "I don't care for all that poetic stuff. I believe in direct expression. What's the most concise way you can say something?"

I felt a little ashamed. I agreed with the man. I looked back on all my writing and wondered if I had been concise enough. I doubted it.

I told the man I agreed with him. I was now in a hospital at night. I was in some hall. Eveything was dim, with only a few occasional ceiling lights turned on. I looked into some room through a big, plastic window. I may either have seen a newborn baby in a bed or a very injured adult in critical care.

Dream #2

I was walking into an anime convention. I was in some basement area, walking through a huge hallway into a large main room. The hallway and room were full of people.

I looked behind me. A group of girls was close to me. They might have known me somehow or been my friends. Two of the girls were dressed like Captain Harlock. They looked kind of boyish, but they didn't strike me as being as dashing as Captain Harlock.

Then I saw a third girl dressed as Captain Harlock. She was tall, thin, and blonde. Her face was perfect. I thought she looked terrific. But her hair was cut way too short, and it didn't have any of Harlock's style.

Dream #3

I was in an apartment that wasn't mine. I was probably watching it for somebody. The apartment was really big and nice. It was up on some high floor. The light from the windows was pinkish orange with sunset.

For some reason I decided to leave this place and go home. I went downstairs and outside. But as soon as I was outside I saw how many people there were all over the place. It was too much for me to handle. I suddenly remembered that the Super Bowl was going on, and that everywhere in the city would be like this. It would be better for me to go back upstairs and wait for things to calm down.

But I thought I should get something to eat before I went back upstairs. I was walking along some kind of desert road with something like carnival booths on each side. One of the booths was a Subway store. So I went into the line. I got up to the front pretty quickly. The lady in front of me, kind of short and overweight, ordered something that sounded really good. I tried to remember what she'd ordered, so I could order it, too.

I got an image in my head of miniature pizzas with something like olive paste and lizard eyeballs on it.

Dream #4

I was looking out the window of a house. Down below, a group of people were skating on a snowy pond. There were three people. They wore hooded robes made or rich, red velvet. I recognized the people as being cast member from the show Kids in the Hall. But now they all looked old, ragged, and fat.

They all had these dumb smiles on their faces, as if they were doing a skit about people who thought they were really good skaters when they were actually just morons. They spun quickly (clockwise?). They vanished beneath their robes.

This spiining and vanishing act was carried out twice more. The first time, the men wore green robes. The second time, they wore blue robes.

Good morning, everybody. My recall was pretty crummy last night. I was playing around on the internet way too much. That always screws me up.

Dream #1

I was in a small room like a bedroom. There were a lot of other people in the room with me, possibly all female. We were all jumping up and down on the floor. The floor was white and plasticky. But there was also some loose, metallic frame making a grid of the floor. Also, the floor seemed to have more than one layer of plastic. The layers were flexible and separated from each other by about 20cm.

Somehow I came to understand that people jumped through this floor to be reincarnated. I saw a girl sink through the floor like a ghost. I knew she had passed, as a spirit, into a new body. I'm pretty sure I didn't want to be reincarnated. So I left the room.

Good morning, everybody. I'm not sure if the third and fourth dreams are two dreams or actually just one. But I think they are two.

Dream #1

I was in an office building with one of my old co-workers, CT. The floor we were on was very lonely. Everything was grey and dim, and it felt like it was under construction. And yet, it also had a hazy kind of romantic feeling to it, like in a Hong Kong movie from the 1990s.

I think either our company had just moved into this building or else our company was just starting up. CT and I were the first people to come to work in this building, other than our boss, who had just left. CT and I sat in the same group of cubicles in a little offshoot of the office floor right before the elevator bank. We sat back to back, a little bit caddy-corner, and set apart from each other by about 2 meters.

Work was getting a little bit boring. Suddenly, CT said, "Well, I'm going to cut out early for lunch. And I'm going to be gone for a while. I'm going to take my kid out to do a few things."

I was a little struck by how CT could just up and leave for a few hours so brazenly on our first day. But I figured I'd head to lunch as well. I had a bunch of stuff on top of my desk, including some really beautiful, silver netbook. I began piling all the stuff into one of my desk drawers so I could lock it up. I figured that since there was nobody on the floor to watch my stuff while I was gone, it would be a good idea to lock it up.

CT may have waited for a second while I was locking stuff up. She didn't lock any of her stuff up. She may have gotten impatient with me for locking my stuff up. I may possibly have decided not to lock up my stuff after all, just because I felt like I was slowing CT down. CT and I may have gone to the elevator bank together.

CT was now gone. I was either down in or imagining some mall-like area on the ground floor or basement of this building. It was a long, white corridor with a clear roof letting in cold, grey light from outside. The roof may have been gridded with a wood frame. It felt quiet and lonely, even though there were people around. At some point there may have been a ramp downward that now reminds me of some of the sloping floors and corridors in Grand Central Station.

Dream #2

There was a princess who looked like a mix between Tilda Swinton in Orlando and Geoffrey Rush (???). I think that sometimes she looked really pretty and then other times the Geoffrey Rush face took over, and then other times it was really a mix of both. The Princess had rich, red hair. She wore a big, red dress with gold designs on it.

The princess was by herself in a small chamber. The chamber had medieval furnishings, like in a painting of a scholar's chamber. The princess stood before a red curtain with gold designs on it. The atmosphere was silent. The princess suddenly froze and listened. I couldn't hear anything, but apparently the princess heard a lot.

There was some sort of plot against the princess, probably against her life altogether. She was listening closely to people talking a few rooms away about this plot.

Now the princess was in a room with a young man. The young man wore green pants, a flowing, white shirt, and some kind of tan, leather vest. He had jaw-length, curly hair, a broad, tan face, and a goatee. He sat at a table while the princess spoke to him either about some situation in her kingdom or about the danger she personally was in.

Suddenly the princess stopped talking and bent her ear to another curtain (again red and gold) to listen to sounds that were completely inaudible to me. The man couldn't hear anything, either, but he seemed to understand that the woman was in danger, or at least serious about her feelings of being in danger.

Dream #3

I was walking through some kind of clean, suburban neighborhood, even though I was apparently in New York City. It was a bright, sunny day.

I was walking toward some park at which I would be running a volunteer event. I was walking into a neighborhood with which I wasn't familiar, and even though the neighborhood looked really clean and nice, I was still afraid of being caught here alone. I walked up a long, swelling hill with a wide road and sidewalk. I went under the cool, blue shade of some trees.

For a little while, I looked down at my shadow. I was thinking to myself about the event I was heading to. It was at a park I was unfamiliar with. But, at the same time, this unfamiliar park was a park I always hosted volunteer events in.

I had been planning not to do this event, as I was pretty sure I'd never be able to find the park. But then I "remembered" a conversation with the woman headed park events at my regular park. It was like the "memory" was happening in the present, as if she were speaking to my via a "memory phone." She told me that the park was where it always had been, so I shouldn't have any trouble finding it.

Realizing that the woman from the old park would be at the new park, I figured I would do the event after all. One of the few things, I thought, that had kept me from doing this particular event had been the fact that this woman would not be there. But now she would be there, so I would do the event.

(At this point I may have woken up. I lay in bed and began reasoning with myself that the woman being at the event wouldn't be a reason for me to stay on a project in waking life. I like the woman, but I often feel kind of thrown to the side by her.)

Dream #4

Somewhere in a city at night, there was a small group of vampires. Everything was colored a deep red-orange. One vampire was a really sexy, punky looking girl with short, blonde hair in a square style. She wore a black leather jacket and a tight shirt with thin, horizontal stripes. She began talking about fighting.

I was now on a subway train, going above ground. It was still a dim, red-orange night. Pulling into a station, the train paused in front of what looked like some kind of rooftop basketball court for a high school. I saw it through a chainlink fence.

There was another group of vampires. These vampires were all dressed like ultra-moe girls, in extremely colorful and cartoony lolita dresses. One vampire girl in particular wore a vivid, pink dress with a wide, sapphire-blue ribbon at the waist. Under her skirt was a petticoat (? is that what they're called?) with tons of pale-pink lace. She wore a broad-brimmed, pink had with a bow on it, and she had her blonde hair in chunky ringlets.

I think one moe vampire girl (not the girl who stood out to me) was going to have to fight all the other girls by herself. I couldn't tell whether this was training for the girl from her friends, or whether the girl was actually fighting all the other vampires as enemies.

The girl had a gigantic length of rebar in her arms. I kind of identified with her at this point. The girls charged at her. She may have taken some kind of fighting posture.

Suddenly I was in a bright, fluorescent-lit room that was full of people. The room was kind of big. It was in some kind of school or recreation center. The room was right next to a huge cafeteria, which was also full of people.

All around me were black, teenage boys. One boy to my left tapped my shoulder to get my attention, as if I had been in some kind of really deep reverie. I looked at the boy. He looked a little older than his age. His face was kind of stubbly. He wore a grey and black sweater. He looked lonely, sad, and kind of dull.

I now kind of had the memory of the woman from the park (from the previous dream) talking to me in the cafeteria and telling me that the volunteer event wasn't scheduled to start for a while, so I should feel free to wander around, and then walking away from me.

The boys all around me asked me if I was okay. I told them I was. Most of them headed away. But two guys stuck near me. One was definitely a boy. But the other was so tall and worn-out and old looking that I thought he must have been the other boy's father. This guy asked me what I was doing here.

I told him that I was here with a volunteer group, and that we were going to do some kind of art project with all the kids here. The other volunteers had apparently not arrived yet. The two guys seemed to think I was cool. They lost interest in me and walked away, maybe waving at me as they left.

I was now in some room that seemed to be getting set up for an art exhibition. The place seemed to be in complete dissaray, with packing materials everywhere. Some moving guys were putting paintings up on walls.

One painting was already up on the wall to my right. It looked a bit like Jackson Pollock's "Stenographic Figures," (?) except that it was humongous, maybe 4 meters tall and 1.5 meters wide.

The painter, a tall, young, white man with a head of really frizzy, brown hair, stood before the painting. A camera crew was filming the young man for a kind of Reading Rainboy-esque educational TV show. The painter had some kind of miniature model of his painting near him somewhere, and he was using it as a sort of queue.

The young man said something like, "I work on my paintings a lot by instinct. And now-- I have the instinct to put one last touch on my painting. Right... here."

The painter squiggled a yellow line in the lower left quadrant of the picture. It was near a place in the painting that somehow looked like white stairsteps. The yellow looked like upside-down stairsteps, in a way. The painter filled in the yellow a bit more, but left some of the space with just the line.

The painter now pointed out how the squiggly yellow line echoed a part of the painting really close to the bottom left corner of the painting, and that that was why he had put it there. That made sense to me. But something about it also seemed artificial and hypocritical. The man was performing for the TV, but he was also rehearsing for when the kids and volunteers came by. I thought, How much thought does this guy give his work, if he can just paint over it at whim whenever he's standing with a group in front of what's supposedly a finished product?

Nevertheless, I thought it was really cool to have seen this young man in person. He was pretty well known in some circles of the art world. For some reason I thought I would contact my brother and let him known I'd seen this guy.

I was now walking back into the cafeteria, which was just swarming with people. As I walked into the room, two women on roller skates passed me. One was a younger woman, maybe a schoolgirl. The other was probably older, maybe close to being old enough to be the girl's mom.

Both girls wore very small, moe-maid-style dresses. Passing me, the older woman bent over a lot, revealing her rear end to me. I was pretty sure that I saw that she was wearing diapers. She also seemed to be wearing a pair of dark purple panties over the diapers. I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I looked again, but the woman had already stood back up.

I walked through the huge crowd of people. As I did, I saw the rollerskate girls skating in the distance, past wide doorways on the cafeteria wall to my right. The younger girl may have been pushing the woman.

Dream #5

I was in a big, empty room like a dance studio with a big, wooden floor. The room was clean and full of pale, bright daylight.

In the center of the room a female interviewer sat in a chair. Before her, Sigmund Freud sat on a green (velvet?) sofa. He didn't recline on the sofa. He actually sat on its edge. The sofa was on a nice (oval?) rug. The interviewer's chair may possibly have been on the rug as well.

Freud looked like a mix between his young, strong self, and his older self. He was slimmer than his younger self, and his face had the older, wiser look. But he didn't look ravaged by cancer at all. Freud wore a nice, but kind of modern-looking, tan suit. The interviewer may have worn a feminine-looking, tan suit.

Freud sat with his hands folded between his legs. He began talking about life with cancer. He said that the worst part of cancer wasn't the cancer itself, or even having to lose parts of your body to cancer.

"The worst part," Freud said, "is all the stuff you have to go through to get rid of the cancer. And then, once you've gone through it all, you go along for a little while, and then you find out you have cancer again. You have to go through the process all over again."

Freud began listing off all the cancer therapy processes one had to go through. They sounded progressively worse, until finally said, "But maybe I should stop talking about this. It's getting too depressing."

(Side note, 1/22/11, 7:13 PM -- I just got back from watching two movies in Manhattan. One was the anime Evangelion 2.0. The other was an Indian film called Dhobi Ghat.

Both films are excellent. Evangelion is like a Bible to me, so I can't really comment impartially on that one. But Dhobi Ghat is freaking amazing, one of the few great movies I've seen in years.

One of the key moments in Dhobi Ghat involves an artist unpacking his paintings. Both the art style and the unpacking of paintings are very similar to the images from dream #4 above. In addition, the artist in my dream looked very much like the character Peace (?) in the film.

I believe that I kind of previewed the film images in my dream. I seem to have wacky precognitive moments like this occasionally. I guess everybody does. I wish they could be about something more useful. But even when they're pretty useless, like this, they're still fun.)

Good morning, everybody. Both of these dreams are kind of perverted. Sorry.

Dream #1

I was in "my bedroom." The bedroom was big and comfortably dim. I stood on my knees on a big bed with brown blankets on it. I was wearing either only a diaper or a diaper and a white tank-top with thin straps. I peed and peed in the diaper. At one point I felt like the diaper was really full of pee.

(The feeling of this dream was so real that I had to make sure when I woke that I hadn't actually wet the bed. Pretty weird.)

Dream #2

I typed in some key words on Google Images that I thought would pull up lots of images of girls kissing. Instead, I got lots of images of girls lying on their backs with their legs wide open. The girls wore no pants or underwear, but they all had shirts. One girl in particular wore a business-type top involving a white button-up shirt, a grey sweater, and a black vest.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

A few people, possibly all young women, were in a room like a college dormitory. They may have been fighting against something or preparing for some fight. One girl in particular was bringing her power up to a very high level. But at some point she may have made herself stop. She had to bring her power level down because it was causing troubles in some other place.

Now, in a room like a common area in a college dormitory, a girl sat with her back to another girl, who stood. The two girls were next to a big window which revealed the night sky. The seated girl asked the standing girl to go away. The seated girl said she couldn't be trusted around the standing girl for a while.

The seated girl had a mask on her face. The mask had two wide, dark slots for the eyes and a wide, creepy grin for the mouth. Silvery fangs grew out of the grin as the seated girl spoke. The dream had all looked like real life up until this point. But after this point, it may have begun to look like an anime.

I came to understand that the fighting power the girl in the room had had to subdue in herself also drew out powers in other people. The seated girl was having a kind of evil, vampiric power drawn out in her. She wouldn't be able to control it if it got too strong. The "mask" on the girl's face was actually a manifestation of her own spirit, this power within her.

By means of a shiny, metallic cuff, the seated girl chained herself to a nearby coffee table (?) to prevent her from getting loose and running wild. At some point I came to understand that a lot of the girls in this college had magic powers and that part of the reason they were here was to train.

Good morning, everybody. My dream recall has been slim over the past week. But I remember three dreams from last night.

Dream #1

I walked up through some tangle of vegetation, out onto a clearing that looked like an enormous, slightly sloped, corrugated tin roof. The roof was surrounded with vegetation like tree limbs and shaggy vines, which seemed to be hanging down from the brick walls of buildings. It was a sunny, cold day.

One of my old friends, M, stood on the roof. His face was grizzled. He was balding a little, and his hair was unkempt. He wore a brown and white flannel shirt.

I had been sent by a group of people (pretty girls?) below to offer something to M, something to keep him warm or entertained while he was hanging out on the roof. M had sent me away once, refusing whatever I had offered. But the pretty girls now sent me back, offering something else they thought M would want more.

M got annoyed and asked me, "Can't you see that all I really want is to be left alone for a little while?"

I realized now that M's being up here in this weird space was part of some kind of training or re-charging practice. He needed his solitude for the whole thing to work.

M began to tell me some kind of wierd story about popping chesnuts. I looked down at the roof and saw that chesnuts lay all about. Something about roasting and popping chesnuts fit perfectly with whatever M was trying to do up on the roof.

At another point, M was standing by a tree limb. Something like the seed case for a milkweed plant hung from the limb. The seed case quickly expanded like a balloon (or a condom!) until it was 1.5 meters long, transparent, and yellowy white. I knew the tree was about to release seed or even a whole organism, either a tree or possibly even some kind of animal.

Dream #2

I was with some people (my mother and some other family members?) in some plaza-like area that seemed to be at the top of a hill. The plaza area was before some kind of public area like an amusement park. There was a winding complex of roads, circles, and walkways, bordered by nice, red- and tan-stone buildings. It was a sunny day.

I looked into the distance, down a straight stretch of road, to another complex of nice looking buildings. We had come to pick up something from the buildings in the distance. But I'd made the mistake of getting us to this nearer set of buildings. I wasn't sure how to get to that complex of buildings. I figured the best way to get there was by walking (even though I'm pretty sure we'd driven to get here and could easily have taken a car).

One of the group, possibly my mother, started complaining about how far away the complex of buildings was (it was three or four hundred meters away). She complained that I'd come here not knowing how to get what I'd wanted and that now I didn't even know how to get to the place where I could get what I wanted.

I felt like arguing with her, telling her that I did know how to get what I wanted, and that I'd just aimed a little wrong. But I didn't feel like getting myself distracted or my mom upset by argument. I figured I would just stay confident in what I wanted and keep going forward.

I led us through some kind of long pool that went before the front of a long series of short, red-stone buildings that looked kind of like college dormitories. The buildings were to our left. To our right was a narrow, stone path, to the right of which was another long series of buildings. The pool was about waist-deep. The walls were white, and the water was clean, like chlorinated water in a swimming pool.

I called back to the people with me, "Don't you see we're going right where we need to go? We're taking a straight shot there, and we even get to cool off in this pool!"

Before us now was a staircase leading out of the water. Two little girls wearing purple swimsuits (one girl wearing a one-piece and the other wearing a bikini with a fluttery waistline) walked up out of the water. We followed the girls up the staircase.

We were now in an old-looking building that seemed like a museum or an old library. The lights were all off, but plenty of greenish-yellow light came in through windows. The floors were some kind of waxed concrete or dull-colored stone. There were stone columns everywhere, and some heavy, wood counters just out of the corner of my field of vision.

The group of people I was with was now two or three young adults, probably all women. The building was a hotel, and one of the women was talking to an older woman, asking about the pricing for the hotel. The older woman wore a long, blue skirt and a white blouse, and her black hair was done up in a 1950s style. She also may have been wearing some kind of gold necklace with a cameo pendant.

The hotel rate was something like $499 (or even $700) a night. The older woman explained that that was the way things were when you were in the city in Hawaii. I told the girls I didn't think there was any way we could afford a hotel at that rate. We couldn't stay here.

The older woman then pointed out a black and white poster on a column, advertising a special kind of "two- or three-room hotel" for only $299 a night. The older woman explained that once you got out of the city, things got a lot cheaper.

I couldn't help thinking that being that far out of the city would make the hotel cheap and risky. But the woman continued talking about the hotel. She said that each hotel was more like a house. It had two to three bedrooms, was completely separated from other dwelings, and even had a yard. The only reason it was so cheap was because nobody wanted to stay outside of the city, even though the trip back into the city wasn't bad at all. "20 to 30 miles at the most," the older woman said.

The situation kept sounding better and better to me. But I was still a little uncertain. I kept wondering if we'd have some kind of surprise roommate once we got there -- some guy who would be a complete creep. I also kept seeing all kinds of vegetation covering the house, and I was wondering whether the vegetation was corroding the house and making it unliveable.

Dream #3

I went to some kind of convention, probably with other people, possibly family members, including my mother. The convention was in a wide building. I walked into the lobby first. The lobby was vast. It had white tile floors and was bright with harsh, green-white fluorescent light.

There were tallish, round tables everywhere. People were gathered lazily around the talbes, talking to each other, doing stuff related to registering for the conference, and waiting for the conference to begin. A couple of tables may have been staffed by workers, some of whom may have had boxes full of t-shirts on their tables. In one wall of the lobby was set a little concession booth.

I may have had to go back out to the parking lot to get something I'd forgotten. I was kind of afraid to go back out and come back in. The registration people didn't seem to like me, and they made me feel really uneasy.

I was now in an auditorium. The presentation I had attended in the auditorium was now finished. Everybody was filing out of the room. I stood at the front of the auditorium, possibly near the woman who had been presenting. The woman was now putting some materials away and getting ready to leave the room.

Near me was a cardboard box, probably with clothes in it. I realized I was wearing a white, silk-and-lace teddy and white pantyhose. I wondered how I could have missed for so long the fact that I was wearing this outfit. Nobody said anything about me. Nobody even seemed to notice me. But I felt like I needed to change out of these clothes and into my regular male clothes as soon as possible.

I walked through a set of hallways, looking for a bathroom I could go into to change. As I walked past groups of people, I got more and more afraid of being noticed and ridiculed. But nobody seemed to notice me.

At some point I found a restroom. When I went in to change, I seemed to have difficulty figuring out how I could take off this lingerie while putting on my regular male clothes at the same time. It seemed inconvenient and embarrassing. At some point I may have thought I would just put my shirt and jeans on over the lingerie and leave it at that until I left the convention.

Good morning, everybody. I'm pretty sure I was only semi-lucid in the first dream, even though I was aware that I was dreaming.

The second dream took place between 5 AM and 5:30 AM, I'm pretty sure.

Dream #1

I was in a house with some female "family members." They appeared to be about my age, white, very pretty. I saw them as if we were all close together. The women were having some kind of serious conversation.

I suddenly floated up and out of the house. I assumed I was in the neighborhood my family had lived in before I went to college. (Though it now seems to me that all the houses were much bigger that in that neighborhood, and that they all had flat roofs.)

At some point during all of this, I told myself I was dreaming. I think that I was thinking this was something more like an out-of-body experience than a dream. I told myself to focus on the rooftops and try to "bring something back" to waking life that would prove I'd had an OBE.

But I was only floating around between a small number of houses. I think I was having some kind of trouble with my vertical control, like I kept on going up way high and having to pull myself back down.

At some point in time I saw a house with its roof caved in. I recognized this house as being a couple houses down from my family's old house. I thought for sure that this would be something I could "bring back."

I thought I'd focus in on this house, land on the roof. But instead of landing on the roof, I ended up going way down to the ground or a much lower roof (as if all these houses were like multi-story buildings -- which is obviously not true in that neighborhood). I flew back up and landed on the top of the roof.

But the roof wasn't collapsed. Instead, I found, the whole thing had been an optical illusion. The object which had given an impression of a depression in the roof was actually the basin of a gigantic hot tub.

Somehow, again without any criticism, I found myself in the empty basin of this gigantic hot tub, indoors. The hot tub was actually on the roof of the back end of a big RV. The room I was in was like a gigantic garage for the RV (even though, again, it was on the top floor of this "house").

I called out to my brother. He'd been friends with the son of this family. I figured he'd know more about this than I did. My brother "appeared," though I don't think I ever saw him directly.

After I'd "asked" (mentally?) my brother about the gigantic RV and hot tub, he responded, "Yeah, I was surprised, too, the first time I came to their house. I thought it was a broken roof, too. Because they always looked and acted so poor.

"But then I realized that they really did have all this rich stuff, too. Then I started getting jealous, because we don't have anything like this! But then they started letting me use it, too."

Dream #2

I was watching some kind of live-action drama that had elements in common with an anime drama.

The view eventually changed to some kind of drama of which I was a part, even though I was still only an observer.

There were a bunch of beautiful, rich, college-aged people walking from the right to the left of my view, before some stone castle which was part of some college campus. The sky overhead was dark and roiling with clouds. The students (mostly or all women?) were wearing colorful, silk dresses and plastic masks to make them look like anime characters.

Eventually I was in a room, at a party. The room felt like a study in a big, nice house. The room was dim, full of people, probably rich adults.

I had been talking at first with a young woman. At some point I was listening to the speech of a man who had a face like Rodin's sculptures of Balzac. The man was speaking with great pride about how he had cheated some business associate, then killed and eaten him.

Now I saw a group of partiers, all turned toward me, motionless, silent. They were mostly women. The women wore masks like female anime characters. The men wore masks like the mustache mask from V for Vendetta (?).

My view now shifted to a number of fragmented scenes showing old, great manga and anime artists at their work. One scene had a man sitting back in his swivel chair before his desk. The man was tallish, wearing a sweater and a beret (but he wasn't Tezuka).

The wall of the man's room was turquoise blue, and was decorated with some of the classic anime and manga he'd created. One drawing was a figure of a plain, young man with black hair wearing a yellow sweater and khaki slacks. Another anime of his had to do with the adventures of some little girl in a forest. I heard the anime theme song.

(As I woke, I could hear the theme song of this anime. I even hummed it to keep it in my mind. But I forgot it now. Ugh.)

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was "at home" with my mom and possibly a couple other family members. The house had two floors and probably a basement. The stairway up to the second floor was near the back of the house.

There was a policeman in the house. He was tall, white, with reddish-tan skin, blue-green eyes, a balding head of red-blonde hair, and a mustache. I saw him in my mind's eye, but I'm not sure if I ever saw him physically.

The cop hurried out the backdoor of the house at some point. He may have had some kind of goodbye scene with some of my family members.

I then realized that the cop was on the run. He had murdered another cop (who may have looked exactly like him, except pale white). The other cop's body, I knew (seeing it in my mind's eye) lay sprawled on the final few steps and the floor of the basement.

I felt like my family should have done something not to let the cop get away. I also felt like I should go after the cop or help the other cops find him. But I was too afraid to do so. I thought the cop would probably kill me.

At some point I realized that I had also murdered somebody, so that if I informed on the cop, I would only be letting the cops know where I was, so they'd come after me, too.

Dream #2

Some woman dressed as a ballerina with a tan, fluffy skirt and a black leotard-top was trying to get away from a killer. But at some point she had fallen from some height and broken her legs.

She was panicked. She now pretty much knew she was going to die. The killer, who may have been some kind of ghost-hag woman, would catch up to her and toture her to death.

Good morning, everybody. I recall two dreams from last night. They're both fragmented.

I've been sick over the past couple days, and my sleep cycle has been all weird. So I think my body has taken whatever sleep it could get, and my dreams have been of secondary concern.

Plus, my boss has been playing some wacky cat and mouse game with me for the past two weeks. I've been stressing out, waiting for some resolution. It gets more stressful each day. That obviously screws with my dream memory, too.

Dream #1

A black and white view, as if of a somewhat modern movie posing as an old, black and white movie. A young, red-haired woman in kind of greasy denim overalls and a button-up work shirt was in her apartment, backed up against a wall or the doorway to a wide closet. The woman looked panicked.

A number of men rushed into the room. They were all big and strong. But the woman had a wrench. She smacked one man on the back of the neck with a wrench. She may have also beat another man with the wrench. The remaining men may have run away or scattered back against the opposite wall of the room, possibly near a radiating heater.

I got the impession of the men's names (or heard the men's names through narration?). The men's names were very similar, mostly like variations of Neil, like Niall, Niell, Nall, and Neil. Another man was either named Duncan or MacDuff.

Dream #2

A girl lay on the top bunk of some tall bunk bed. She noticed that she had bed bugs. Some other person, possibly a child, was probably up on the bunk bed with her. The girl started explaining that she knew she had bed bugs. She may have started explaining how she'd gotten them.

Her explanation became a narration from an adult male voice. The dream's view flew, just beneath the roof, through the girl's house (it might actually have been the girl's house -- i.e. she lived there by herself), to the front door.

The narrator explained how three bugs came in through the crack at the bottom of the door. I now saw three bugs come in. One was a "bed bug" (it was kind of a brownish, beetle-like creature). Another was a strange bug that looked like a mix between a big roach and a shaggy-looking trilobite. The last was possibly some kind of black beetle.

The narrator explained how each of the three bugs was attracted by some different element in the house. The narrator seemed to disregard the black beetle altogether throughout his explanation.

The narrator began with the shaggy trilobite. The trilobite had been attracted by some kind of mucousy substance on the floor. As the trilobite scurried along the floor, following this mucousy trail, which would have been unnoticeable to the human eye, it also created a mucousy trail. The trilobite may have ended up somewhere like the kitchen.

I didn't care much about the trilobite, and I was wondering when the narrator would finally get to the bed bugs. Finally the narrator explained the way bed bugs got into the house. I missed or forgot the explanation. I just saw the girl's bed again, the high bunk bed, dizzyingly high off the ground, almost touching the ceiling.

Good morning everybody. This dream definitely ended around 1 AM. I had gone to bed at about 9:30 PM.

Although the end of this dream is very interesting (by my standards -- my dreams are tame compared to the others on this site!), and although it seems pretty spontaneous, I feel it was actually influenced by waking life -- namely by the part in Emiko's dream from yesterday where the boy tells her his name is Thomas.

Dream #1

I was in an apartment. Some stuff here happened that I no longer remember.

A young, pretty, and somehow motherly woman then told me something about how the doors of the apartment were open. This meant something like I would now be able to get back into the apartment, whereas before, I think, once I'd gone out I couldn't come back. The woman asked me to go pick up some kind of food.

I left the apartment. It was night. The apartment was a two-story building with outdoor balconies connecting the second story apartments. The area around the apartment felt like it was under construction or like it had been neglected or destoyed.

I think I was now planning to ask my cousin for the food the young woman had requested. I crossed the street to where my cousin lived. The building was a "college dorm," but it actually looked like a military living space for in the desert. It was long, half-cylindrical, and painted green.

I was now inside. The space was like a small supply warehouse. The floors were concrete. The space was lit by lamps hanging from the ceiling. There were a lot of young men around. They were largely congregating toward the back of this structure, where there was a big TV.

This was the first day of something like college or an extended trip that these guys were taking during college. The guys had all just settled into their dorms.

Along the left and right walls were doorways leading to a bedroom. Each boy had a bedroom. Beside each doorway was a small kitchenette and a small washer-dryer combo. I had a hard time telling whether each boy had his own kitchenette, washer, and dryer, or whether two rooms each shared one set. I either couldn't tell or didn't wonder where the bathrooms were.

I knew that I also had a room here. But I figured I'd probably continue living in the apartment. The boys all seemed cool. But I had a feeling that if I lived around them too long, I'd attract their bad attention and make a bad situation for myself.

I wondered if I had food of my own in the kitchenette that belonged to me. But I didn't concern myself with checking. I knew I'd come here to find my cousin.

I found my cousin at the back of the structure, near the TV. He may have looked like a kid. We spoke for a little while. We were then met by a boy my cousin introduced me to as C, a boy from my cousin's neighborhood. C, who had been short, thin, and pale as a kid, was now tall, tan, and muscular. I was surprised to find myself attracted to him.

I heard some noise in waking life that began to wake me from my dream.

But I still lay in a dream state. I had a vision of three figures. They looked like "little girl in dress" figures cut out of felt and made to interlock. One figure was black; one, grey; and one, white.

I very sensibly heard the figures speaking. They spoke in male and female voices. They were talking about how they had been dream characters but how, now that the dream was ending, they were going back to some place where they spent the rest of their time.

They were speaking with each other in a joking, familiar tone about the stuff they had shown me during my dream. One of the female voices addressed another character as David. The name David affected me for a number of reasons, which I was very aware of, having to do with both family members and big world events that had happened when I was young.

I had the understanding that these characters were actually elements of my personality, and that at this moment they were all autonomous to interact with each other, apart from me. It was kind of like being able to look in from the outside on a schizophrenic episode, which kind of worried me.

I could now sense the characters sinking away somewhere, possibly into the base of my brain, or the very top of the back of my neck.

I now had a beautiful hypnagogic vision: a black background filled with twirling squares and circles, curtains full, of purple, scale-like shapes. This vision buzzed around for a while, then faded away into waking life altogether.

Good morning, everybody. I feel lousy today. I think I've caught another cold. Ugh!

I remember two dreams from last night. I feel like the first dream is only a fragment. Also, the second dream occurred between 5 AM, when I woke (and saw I still had some time to sleep) and 5:30 AM, when I got out of bed.

Dream #1

I had been walking around at night with my friend T. She had spoken with me about something like the two of us having sex.

We ended up at some place. We were in a bedroom. The bedroom was lit only with the glow of a TV. The room seemed to be split in two halves by a partition or wall. We were in the half with the bed. The floor of this half seemed to be set down lower than the floor of the other half.

I lay on my back on the bed. T straddled me from above. We may both have been naked. Then suddenly I was wearing baby diapers. I may have been an adult wearing baby diapers at first. But then I was actually a little baby, being changed by T.

Dream #2

I stood out in the parking lot of a mall during the daytime with an older man and possibly some younger men and women. The older man was probably tall, wearing nice clothes and dark-tinted eyeglasses. I may have been a child's height, coming up only to the man's waist, even though I seemed to think like myself at my present age.

The man was holding a huge, black, plastic gun that looked like it was from a cartoon. The barrel swelled out and in, like the sections of a wasp's body. The man asked me where I had gotten this gun. I was holding a similar, smaller gun.

I told the man I had gotten it at "The Anime Shop." I had gotten it for some girl who really liked anime. I saw the girl in my mind's eye. She was a Latina friend of mine.

I told the man I could show him where The Anime Shop was. I could see an "address" for the shop. It think it had the numbers 44 and 45 in it.

We walked into the mall. The corridor we were in was lit red. It seemed to have a jungle theme to it. There were stores in the middle of the corridor as well as along the walls. These stores looked like wooden huts in odd shapes. We had to wind our way around them.

I kept looking around for The Anime Shop. I had been pretty sure it was down this corridor. But we were now approaching the end of the corridor. Through glass doors I at first saw what looked like the interior of a really nice department store. But as we got much closer to the glass doors I saw that beyond them was actually another corridor, this one looking more like a normal mall's corridor. I may even have seen a TCBY (???).

I felt bad because I had led the older man all the way down the wrong corridor. I now realized that The Anime Shop was in a parallel but separate corridor. I knew we'd have to walk through the regular part of the mall to get there. But I didn't know if the older man would trust me any longer to guide him there.

Good morning, everybody. I recall three dreams from last night. The third dream definitely occurred between 5 AM and 7 AM.

Just as a side note, in waking life my opinions about South Africa and Chile are not like the portrayals in the second and third dreams. The "South Africa" and "Chile" of my dreams are more a reflection of myself.

The "keyhole" comment the father makes in the third dream is absolutely influenced by the "keyhole" comment the prospective stepfather makes in Laurel Nakadate's movie The Wolf Knife.

Also, I seem to portray myself as some kind of awesome ladies' man and businessman. It would be cool if I were. But, alas...

Dream #1

I may have seen this dream from the third person, and from a very low angle, possibly as low as the floor.

A man was standing on some lower level of floor, and possibly also separated by a barrier, from two other people. The man was probably young, though he may have acted old.

The man was bragging about how McDonald's in his country was better than McDonald's in America. The other two people asked him to explain why.

The man, agitated, shouted, "Well, for example, Big Macs! In my country, our secret sauce has an extra special ingredient!"

The other two asked what this ingredient was.

The man shouted, "Gall!" By which I understood that human gall was being used as an ingredient for the special sauce.

That sounded terribly unappetizing to me. I may have been half awake at this point, wondering why people would volunteer to have their gall-bladders drained so that the gall could be used in Big Macs.

Dream #2

I was sitting with a woman at the back of a darkened conference room. The conference room was full of rows of long tables. At the front of the room was a large pull-down projector screen.

Projected on the screen was a view of a man and a woman. The woman in the room with me sat to my right. The way the woman and man on the screen were positioned, the woman on the screen was across from me and the man on the screen was across from the woman.

The woman on the screen was maybe 17 or 18 years old, black, very pretty, with short, black hair. The man, possibly a little older than the woman, looked Latino or possibly Filipino. He wore a frumpy dress shirt.

The woman and man were representing the appliance company Maytag. They were holding a video conference to discuss the company's financial results.

The woman and the man spoke for a little while and then came to something like a conclusion. I'm pretty sure the discussion didn't have anything to do with Maytag's operations.

The woman then began bowing repeatedly and saying something in Japanese, something incongruent, like "onegashimasu."

I suddenly noticed that the woman was wearing a costume like a mix between Uhuru from Star Trek's dress and a pink, silk cat-girl outfit, even with pink, silk cat-girl ears on her head.

The man and the woman then began joking, as if they were having banter on some kind of TV talk show. I wondered what the heck kind of financial reporting this was.

The man now said something about how the South African broadcasting company was experiencing technical difficulties broadcasting from the present building. So the man and woman had to switch buildings.

I don't know if I'd realized before this point that the conference call was taking place in South Africa. I figured it made sense that there were technical difficulties, given the current infrastructure situation in South Africa (???).

The man and the woman now began clowning around on the screen even more. The screen's view then switched to a view of either a huge office or a huge apartment in a tall building. A pretty, young, Asian woman with really sexy eyes and brown hair sat before the camera, with a huge window behind her.

The Asian woman was eating a huge, sloppy hamburger. She got all fussy and pouty, as if she were offended that anybody might expect her to act professional. She whined, "Well, everybody is still coming over here to get the conference call started. So I'm gonna eat some food."

I was wondering what the hell was going on with this conference call. It was the least professional conference call I'd ever seen in my life.

I wondered how long it was going to take to get the conference call started back up. I wondered if I needed to change buildings as well. I felt like that would cause a terrible delay. But I then realized that my screen was fine. I didn't need to change buildings. It was just the connection in South Africa that was having troubles.

Dream #3

I was in Chile with a somewhat wealthy Chilean family. The family was a father and three daughters.

We had been out doing something when something happened to me whereby I received a lot of money. At the same time, the father received a call from a company saying that he owed the company a lot of money. We had to head back to the family's home, which was a pretty big apartment in a tall building.

I had been flirting with the oldest daughter while we had been out. But, also, something I had done had upset the middle daughter. She was now in the kitchen, pouting.

I walked from the hallway into the kitchen by pushing open a set of swinging doors (like might be in the doorway of a saloon in a Western movie). The kitchen was narrow. The daughter sat in a window well at the end of the kitchen.

I pulled my wallet out of my pocket. I told the girl, "You know I said that once I had money I'd help you with -----." I began fingering through some American bills, trying to figure out how much money I needed to give the girl. The girl warmed up to me. She didn't seem so upset anymore.

I sat in the window-well with the girl. I put my right arm around her. I then began fondling her between her legs with my left hand. I wondered if what I was doing was right. After all, I had just been flirting with the oldest daughter. Should I really be flirting with the middle daughter, too?

Then I realized that, somehow, the "agreement" among the family was that I should act as a "husband" for all three daughters. So it was okay for me to be messing around with all three girls.

Someone called the girl and me out to the living room.

I was now lying on my stomach in the living room, looking into another room through a doorway. I saw a young man lying on his back on a mattress. The young man was sick. He was possibly about to die. One of the reasons, I realized, that we had come back home was because the young man had suddenly taken ill while we had all been out.

(I should also say that somehow the mother's death, "a few years back," played into this part of the dream. But I can't remember how.)

The father was sitting at the table in the adjacent dining room. His business partner sat to his left. The father was on the phone, possibly with the company that was claiming the father's supposed debt.

I figured that there was something I should be doing to take care of this situation. I felt I could be resourceful enough to take care of something. I knew people (???). I should be able to get in touch with someone in the US who knew an expert in Chilean financial legal matters.

The father addressed me. He told me how much he loved this place. He had a black-and-white satellite-photograph map of the neighborhood laid out on the table. He pointed out a specific park that he and his family loved going to. The park was next to a plaza and a museum. It was a very prestigious neighborhood.

My view zoomed "upward" away from the park as the father explained mournfully how it was likely that the family was going to be forced out of this neighborhood by its sudden financial troubles.

My brother, who, I now saw, had been sitting across from the father, pushed a piece of notebook paper across the table to the father. The paper had a transcription of the "contract" which was the main point of dispute between the father and the company.

My brother had made the transcription in green pen. The writing was all some kind of hieroglyphic or symbol language, full of radish-shaped, circular letters with circles inside of them. I might have told myself something silly, like this was the native Mayan (???) language of Chile.

The father began critiquing my brother's transcription. He used a pen to insert a crucial "keyhole" (as he called it) glyph into the transcription.

I sat down to the father's right as he tearfully began explaining everything the contract meant. The father was thin, but it seemed like he was just beginning to gain weight, as if he'd be overweight in a few years. He had coppery skin and a tight, curly hairstyle. He wore a brown, tweed suit, a white dress shirt, and a tie.

The man's business partner wore a very similar suit. But the partner was pale white, very thin, tall, and gangly. He wore square, silver-rimmed glasses. He had shaggy, red-brown hair and a half-stubbly beard.

The father translated the "Mayan" document for me. He was eventually able to explain to me that there was some kind of claim being made by the company for cash which should really have been considered a "non-cash" obligation (???).

It was becoming increasingly clear to me, as the father tearfully explained the text, that the terms of the contract actually didn't specify a monetary obligation at all, but a kind of conditional agreement that would only have a monetary value based on certain successes, which the father did not have.

Finally, when I saw the situation for what it was, I began talking, right over the father's weeping explanations. I kept asking the father who his legal counsel was. It took a while for the father to stop crying and just listen to me.

My plan was to see what kind of legal counsel the father had. But I already knew that if the father didn't have sufficient legal counsel, I would almost certainly be able to find some in the United States.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was at "my office," which was nothing like an offce. I stood on the top of a gigantic (30m tall?) Kitchen counter, looking down over a gathering of flowers that were almost as tall as the kitchen counter. The blossoms were about 5m across and looked like a mix between lotuses and zinnias. They were a cream-white color with yellowy centers.

From down on the floor, from which the flowers grew, I could hear my company's CEO and someone else talking. They had been planning a party. (There may have been an earlier part to this dream in which I had been helping with the party planning.) They now may have made some reference to me, as if I were not present.

I thought I would get their attention. I thought I could hop from flower to flower to get closer to them. But I figured that wasn't a great idea. The flowers were probably weak. They might not support my weight.

At some point, it may have seemed like the flowers were floating in a body of water, as if this gigantic kitchen had been flooded up to the level of the countertop.

Something had been settled regarding my role in the party, and I was now walking along the counter-top, trying to get to wherever I needed to get to take care of my task. The kitchen floor seemed to get closer and closer, and things took on more and more of a regular proportion.

At some point my CEO walked past me, coming from the opposite direction. He may have been walking on the countertop, but I think he actually was down on the kitchen floor, which was now only 3m or so below the counter-top. I said hi to him. He said hi and addressed me by my name. I was pleasantly surprised that he knew my name.

I walked past some tall cardboard boxes that were on the counter-top. At the end of the counter-top was something that looked like a way-oversized wheelchair-ramp leading down to an oversized lobby that looked like the lobby to a small office building in a suburban office park.

I somehow found myself on another ledge, like an oversized counter-top, looking down (about 5m) to an oversized area that had been set up "to look like" a 1950s-style diner (even though I don't think now that the place actually looked like a 1950s-style diner).

The place had clean wood floors, white walls, and a few round tables. Over the huge front door was a huge "1950s-style" sign which looked like a mix between a clock and a spoon. The name of the restaurant was given, with a (not very convincing) "1950s-style" slogan underneath it.

I'd had to turn around to see the sign. I turned back around and was now in a smallish theatre, which was still, somehow, the "1950s diner." I stood (on the floor!) at the top and back of the theatre.

The theatre was full of young people, mostly boys. The theatre's seats were all set up at a couple of different angles. The seating was very steep, like stadium seating. The chairs were red. Down at the bottom was a small stage.

I understood that an anime festival was about to take place here. Some presenter (possibly a shortish, youngish-looking Asian woman in a grey t-shirt, pale blue jeans, and glasses) was about to begin speaking.

I found a couple of my friends: a man I don't recognize and my female friend T. They were sitting at the back of the theatre, on red-leather and chrome stools like counter-stools in a 1950s diner.

I went over to my friends. I lay down across a couple of the stools, stomach-down. I wondered if these seats were very good. After all, this place was packed. Once the presentation started, would we have a bunch of people constantly crowding in front of us?

My stool-tops now seemed to come directly out of the floor now, instead of being atop chrome poles. T, wearing a long skirt, lifted up her skirt to straddle me and sit on my back.

I kind of got mad that T had lifted up her skirt. I knew that she'd lift it up enough so that anybody looking would easily see the crotch of her panties. There had already been some creeps looking in our direction. Now that T had basically flashed everybody, these guys would probably really want to cause trouble for me.

At some point I may have had to tell T to get off me. The way the stool-tops were set and the way T sat on me were putting a lot of pressure on my spine. I figured I'd just roll down onto the floor and let T sit on me that way.

After this, T and I were standing by some doorway, just outside the theatre, looking into the dark theatre through a half-opened door. We stood in a white walled hallway.

We were talking to a couple of older, rich-looking, white people, probably a man and a woman. The man and woman were famous and possibly had had something to do with the anime and manga industry. We may have been making plans to collaborate on something.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a long line, probably all of young men, in a cafeteria or gymnasium that had been set up like a cafeteria. The cafeteria was crowded and busy. Everything had a bluish tinge to it. The line kind of snaked around in a square. It was moving slowly but steadily.

As I was working my way through the line, around one corner, I could see a group of girls sitting at the end of a long table. The girls looked like the girls from Girls Generation. They were also famous singers. I could see them only a little bit through the spaces between the people in front of me.

The girls started singing a little song/chant involving my name. It seemed like they were half-teasing me and half-flirting with me through the song. I knew that the girls were my friends. In fact, I had been sitting with them before I'd gotten in line.

I was now moving forward to where the girls could see me plainly. The line was still moving. I thought that as I passed the girls I would wave or do something like that to acknowledge them quickly without stopping and blocking up the line.

But when I was in full view of the girls, one of them told me to stop right where I was and stand still so she could take pictures of me. I stopped. But I was afraid of the guys behind me. They were tall and they seemed really mean. And it seemed like the instant I'd stopped walking, the guys had started to get impatient with me.

I was trying to think up a couple quick poses to give for the camera. But I could only think up feminine poses. I also felt shaky, because I was afraid of the guys behind me, who were getting very impatient. But I was trying to act unconcerned, innocently oblivious to the guys' anger. This somehow seemed feminine to me as well.