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FA

I wake up in my room, and something is glowing red. There's a Darth Vader helmet that is emitting red light from it's eyes, and mouth. I walked around the room and it was tracking me via, motion detection. I was so creeped out by iit. I walked to the other side of the room so it would face away from my bed, and unplugged it. I thought about googling to find out if it had hidden cameras.

So I'm in the bathroom pressing the door tight as I can because there is a velociraptor on the other side trying to get in. I yell at everyone that we've been breached but everyone is asleep. Finally I lock the door and check the other rooms. The bedroom window is open and my brother starts climbing in. I just gave up. He said something about how news reporters were coming. My team lost but I was the best one on it.

So I'm about to have sex with this chick....she's all on top of me. Stroking my penis. Oh mind you, we're at a crowded baseball stadium. When all of a sudden, she takes it off. She hands it to a guy, who walks up to another guy and demands something at gun point. The guy is still yelling at him with the gun point in his face, and when he finally says he'll cooperate, the guy lowers the gun. Then the other guy pulls out a gun and makes a demand. This goes back and forth several times.....Then all these version of Doc Brown wearing purple wigs made out of pom pom material come appear out of no where and start singing a song.

Some are old, some are young, some are even female. We were asking some of them if they had a X or Y chromosome........shit got weird.

I am in San Andreas- a setting from one of the Grand Theft Auto games. I must have beaten up some hookers because I am fleeing from the police in a car. As I am trying to escape, everything shifts to 3rd person, but I am still in control of myself. Suddenly, I feel my body slowly start to transform. My arms and legs are growing shorter, and I suddenly can't reach the steering wheel. I am transformed! Into a divine being?! No. Into some sort of animal?! No. Into a Leprechaun?! No. Into "Ike" from South Park?! Yes.

The police are now beginning to catch up. Because of my stumpy arms and legs I can't drive properly. Unfortunately, I somehow manage to drive towards the edge of a cliff and I climb out of the car. "FREEZE, PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!", the police officers yell. I look towards the edge of the cliff, and an enormous tree is adjacent to it with a rope-swing attached to one of its branches. Out of desperation, I jump and grab hold of the rope swing. But suddenly, I lose my grip and I splatter into a bloody mess on the floor. The police officers then start laughing.

The end.

And for some reason I can only remember one.

There's this challenge course that has multiple pathways. It's set up around a thin plateau. There's a cartoon bear doing it, and getting WTF'd on every single part. Once all of that is over, S tries, and I'm following her. I'm rooting for her the whole way, and suddenly she says she can't do it. All she had left was a balance beam to cross that was no higher than 2 feet, and it had a decline. The beam itself was separated from the stand, so I told her to turn it upside down because it kept wobbling. (the top was bigger than the base and it would have made it more stable.)

I remember being a pony from MLP...I had a race or some crap, and I lost. I was blaming it on my new form. Like I evolved or some crap. I was purple, and I ended up getting wings......I don't watch this damn show, so I'm trying to figure out where the hell this came from.

Now I'm with my family and we're about to play basket ball. I figure if I get my one bro on the team, it'll be over with.

I also had a dream about fighting a mouser from ninja turtles. Well I started out chasing some bad guy and cuffing him. Dude had some weird glowing blue eyes. He's making these threats about how he's going to get me back. The mouser comes out and I'm fighting it with a bo staff. It wouldn't die.

I'm in bed with a woman..dark hair, pale skin. She wants me. She starts creating these glowing spheres in three spots on the bed. Then she starts kissing me, and riding me. Sex feels great right now. In fact, no messed up organs or anything......I keep pounding away until I cum. Just then....everything starts shaking. I turn around, and there's this huge ugly monster popping out from the bed....FUUUUUUUUU.

FA

I'm thinking about how it really wasn't that bad...well compared to most of my sex dreams.

So I'm driving down the road, and there's this huge bear stacking monster truck tires. A couple of people went up and started taking pictures of it. Being the smart person that I am, I kept driving. I came across some unfenced bodies of water, and noticed there were huge fish in them and turned around and got out. They looked like trout...and near the edge I saw lobsters. I went to the edge of the water where they were and tried to feed them. They ate it....and were talking to me.....and some kind of way became two small women. They wanted me to take them home, but I didn't know how I could keep them alive, so I was hesitant.


I'm at church, but there's a crap load of people there....I mean tons.


I'm at my house, and a few of my cousins are there, and they started talking about how nice they were in Mario, and I was hoping they would turn that on so I could show them what's up.

I'm at the mall, and the store I'm at has all these really old Japanese games, and some converter that instantly translates them. Later, I'm driving a giant mech down the street. I was a little disappointed because I didn't know how to make it fly.

I get out of bed....everything is black as night. Okay, maybe it'll get better.....no, I'm back in reality.

Lets try this again. I head to the living room, and I think about finding Kaomea, and I see her right at the door step, and the door is open. When I get to the door, she's not there....and I get this weird super creepy feeling...like something just scared the shit out of me. Everything turned to blackness as a soon as I stepped out of my house....wtf

Okay, here we go. I'm at some club, the lights are flashing like that last lucid I had where I was looking for Kaomea in the club. I run across a couple of people I know...flirting ensues, and I move on. There this one girl who has her hair stuck in one of the buttons on my shirt. I take it off, and restructure her hair to make it look longer fuller and better. A piece falls out while she was dancing, but oh well.

I started looking for HER....I came up to a blonde girl, but she had black bangs, and everything else was blonde. I asked her if she's ever seen me in any other dreams, and she said yes. Someone else tapped me on the shoulder, and I ignored her (probably was the real HER) and then I asked her for her name. She said it was Shyree. Then I woke the fuck up.


Had some other dream where I had this carton of eggs that could move like a pull back race car.....WTF.

All I remember was arguing with my sister. She was saying something about not using her car, and I didn't care because I have my own. Then I went into another room and pissed in the clothes hamper.

So I'm getting these texts from some girl who want's me to have sex with her. I want this to happen....in fact, I think I need this to happen. I consider it an act of God. Then I start questioning things. She says she's 17 and asks would I still be interested. I give in and say yes. She calls me, and I pick up right when she hung up. Fuck....I tried calling back. No answer. Now I'm wondering if this is some sort of set up. Then I'm thinking 'well i didn't go over there and initiate anything...so I'm good right?'. Anyways, class starts.

We're a dimly lit room (I've seen it before in dreams...in fact I've WILDed into it once.) and some professor is talking about different concepts of dreams. He's talking about mapping out things in a lucid vs. reality. He brings up the possibility of when we travel backwards...and uses a theory. I told him of a dream where I was "skating backwards" (actual dream I was running, and then flying) and even though the scene kept creating things, I was never going to be interrupted by a wall, because the brain never generates one.

He quickly interrupted me and said some mumbo jumbo and before I could get my two cents in, he turned on this music and everyone started dancing. WTF. Oh well. So I walked around the room a little bit....looking for someone to dance with. Noticed the Professor was totally gay....for Old guys.....WOW....time to move to a different area. I saw Mandy, and She looked totally different. From her hair, I was assuming this was the past, and I completely rationalized that I was in a different time in life.

We started talking and she said she was planning on visiting some foreign country. I told her about how she was going to do different things in her life, and she was smiling. And then this girl tapped me on the shoulder. She had light brown hair, with a look of slight disappointment on her face. She wore a skin tight white blouse, with a brownish skirt. She said "hey....weren't we supposed to meet up". I said I know...but the dream is going to end.

So I'm at some olympic event, next to a C130...guarding it. I'm hearing reports about some attack and the way the other units I was with just arrived. They said they had to build an entire well structure before they could start heading our way. Anyways....big wigs roll by, and I try to ignore them. One is Rondal Regan. I shook his hand, and it almost crumpled. I told him I wasn't expecting such a soft handshake from him. I addresssed him as "Mr. President" too. We started talking about death. We were both ready to die in this mission.

So yeah....I took a half a pil wtf.


We're riding on the back of a truck and doing exercises on this beam structure. Every time someone does something more over the top, I'm thinking they're going to fall and die. It's getting a little too extreme, so I move up to the bed of the truck. My brother is driving, and the wind is blowing through my hair. The mountain side looks pretty lush, and I see wolves running around on them. I took a quick picture on my phone, and everything freaking changed.

The scenery got bleak, and the wolves started running at the truck, the girl I was with turned into a goblin, snakes and rats were trying to get in. I moved up inside the truck (it was more like a SUV now) snapped a rats neck and put it in the window crack and rolled it up to secure it. I figured an extra target would help distract them. I finished the dream wrestling some snake.

Candy Display

I was leaving a room where there was some kind of gathering. I saw these things in a display case that looked like little brains. It turned out they were little candies. I said, "What are these? Little brains? WTF?!"

From across the room, someone responded, "WTF!"

I thought that was so funny and so appropriate!

Blond

A strange DC wanted a girl to be with him. He was saying, "Just give me a chance. If you don't like me after giving me an honest try, I understand. Then he told her to go in the kitchen and make him some food when he's nervous (that meant right then).

That's when I got a look at the guy. He was tall, lanky, and his hair was disheveled. I told him not to order her around if he's trying to get her to like him.

She was going to make him some eggs, but needed help. I asked my wife if she would help her because I figured she wouldn't want me to help this pretty blond (The blond that Peter Parker took to the jazz club in Spider-man 3. She pressed up against me from the back. My wife wasn't saying anything. I reached around and grabbed the girls ass and squeezed. It was nice.

Later, I looked at her and apologized just mouthing the words. She said it was OK.