All DJ Entries

Warning:This is extremely long and some parts are kinda disturbing.

I am driving a car and I want to commit suicide. It is late at night and I am driving in a forest. I see a parked van so I hit the gas peddle and ram right into that vehicle. The dream shifts into third person and I see 'myself'' who doesn't look anything like me at all. This person that I am or was has an object, probably a fork sticking out from his neck. The car I believe is flipped over. Now the unfortunate man with the fork in his neck is choking and I as the observer am also affected by this since I have trouble breathing. Things slowly fade to black.

I emerge into a different reality. There is a war going on between these anthropomorphic cartoonish pitbulls. One side wears a blue uniform and the other has a red uniform. I fight some of these beings. Eventually I am underwater and I am fighting a large green submarine. I don't know what weapon I had at the time. Somehow I convince these creatures to stop fighting and join forces.

I then make my way to this roller coaster. I get on it and it moves. As it goes down the track I see a yellow blob of color move past my field of vision. It goes to the right and vanishes. The dreamscape then changes into a snowy wasteland. There are other people on this roller coaster with me. This roller coaster ride if wild and crazy! There are many instances of the coaster going off a ramp thus dislocating from the track, making tight turns around corners and somehow re-align the coaster onto the track on the ground again that is mostly covered in snow. At one point we stop the coaster and we end up at a small cliff we have to climb. To our convenience there are already a couple of ropes on the cliff.

One of us climbs to the top. I then start to climb. It is surprisingly easy (considering I don't have much upper body strength irl) I then say "Wow I haven't climbed in years, glad I am not rusty." I find myself having trouble pulling myself on top of the cliff though. I reach my left hand out to the guy that made it up there, he tries to pull me up but he couldn't. I then jump to another rope to my left and managed to pull myself all the way up the cliff. Another person with us had their face hidden but the hood came off and is revealed to be a girl out of a group of guys.

Suddenly I find myself in a circular room with a fat guy in a yellow shirt eating something, he then turns into a giant white skinned devilish dog monster and kidnaps a little girl with its mouth and probably eats it. It ran off before I saw it eat her. The scene changes and I am in a dark room with a single T.V. On the T.V is a little girl...(hmm same girl that got eaten?) her eyes are black like the void and she is staring at me. On the T.V displays yellow text. (Very interesting, that dude that transformed into that monster had a yellow shirt, probably a coincidence though..) The yellow text explains that the monster is called a "bora bora". I then begin to run in fear through a series of dark creepy hallways only to perish when I accidentally run into a room that is on fire.

I am in my house and I got to look through my brother's window.
Outside I see a large group of people dressed in purple cult clothes,
which if I was to try and describe them, they look like wizard robes
only purple and I think a little yellow symbol on the hat.
As i'm looking at the group I recognize a couple of faces
from school and I am shocked to find them in a cult.
for some reason some members of the cult are going from door to door,
while the others continue to walk slowly down the street.
Finally my door is knocked on and I cautiously go to answer it.
I open the door and as soon as I do I awaken.

Sleep - 11:30pm
Awake - 6:00am

I was in my car with some friends. I think it was Matt.B, Will.N, Tom.R and Ryan.B, although I can't be sure. It was cloudy but it wasn't raining. I think I had just been driving. We were parked randomly in the middle of the motorway, and my friends were jumping out of the car. They ran to the side of the road and escaped through some bushes. There was a motorway bridge about 20 yards in front of me up high. I was really annoyed and upset that my friends had ditched me and my car. I don't even know why we stopped, or why I was driving in the first place considering I haven't passed my test yet and have never driven on a motorway! The motorway was dead, and I didn't seem to be worried about other cars coming along and hitting the car. It was about 3pm.

I think I jumped out of the car and walked the same way as my friends did, before randomly appearing at some sort of family gathering that my Dad was at. I knew I had to explain myself to my Dad, but I didn't know what to say. I told him very clumsily, beating around the bush, and he got extremely angry and emotional. However, I remember being confused that he was so upset. This makes me think that maybe it was Matt's car, not mine. I'm not sure, it was all a bit hazey. He went mental at me, screaming at me in front of various other people that were on the drive way of this house. I flipped out, out of sadness and anger and all sorts of mixed emotions, and hit these thick china plates that my dad was for some reason holding, up so that they flew in the air and smashed on the ground quickly. I cried harder than I have ever cried before. It felt like the most emotionally raw moment of my life.

Suddenly, it was a website, possibly facebook. The dream turned out to be a short-film that my friend Charlotte.C had made for a series of films with her friends acting for media!! This was very odd as I thought the film was a dream, and this was reality - kind of like a false awakening! The website had a list of about 10 short films that she had made, each with a cast list of about 5, all of which I knew. I starred in a few of them, and most cast members were recurring. I thought the film was incredibly put together and captured the emotion perfectly.

I'm on a road in the middle of the country. I need a ride. I hitch hike with a man who is driving an old blue truck with a fenced back. in the black of the truck is a strange animal. it looked like a hippo but with a worse temper. the man said it was always trying to flip the truck. I get in the passenger side and he drives to my hometown. as we enter, I notice a festival of some kind with all my friends and a bunch of older townsfolk. the hippo starts flipping out and rolls the truck in the middle of a highway. it proceeds to head for the people. I jump ontop of the hippo and try to steer it away from the crowd. it heads right, away from most people. I was flung against a wall. I got up and chased the hippo around a corner. after turning, I see the hippo infront of me, facing me. It charges at me and pushes me all the way to the highway again. so im on the farthest side of the highway and the hippo is on the other closer to the crowd. the hippo was trying to choose where to charge. I see a semi on the highway driving in my direction. I scream at the hippo trying to get it to charge at me so the semi would hit it. finally the hippo charges at me and the semi hits it. but oddly as they collide, im blown away and get up to see im with the crowd of people. Im face down on the ground and when I stand up I see my friend scott standing in front of me. I give him a huge hug and felt something amazing, like I was perfectly comfortable and about to go to sleep. As I slowly closed my eyes I saw elyse turn around the corner to see me hugging scott. then I fell asleep.

I'm in a bar with two of my friends. Tim and Mike. We're playing ping pong for some reason. Drinking and ping pong are two things I do enjoy so this makes sense Tim tries to explain something to me and I try to respond to him as best I can as I'm leaving the bar but cannot find the words because I'm intoxicated. I mumble something incoherently and then realize that I have to be dreaming because Tim and Mike do not drink anymore and the only bar that ever had a ping pong table has been closed since I finished high school.

I IMMEDIATELY hear a roar of noise and what sounds like rain and realize when I wake that it's my air conditioner making the noise. I was also able to make sounds and say words while I was in a conscious awakened state whilst still being unable to open my eyes. My girlfriend confirmed this as she was lying next to me the whole time.

Weird...

And last night's dream continues! Well, sort of. This one was pretty vivid, too, but it got kinda fuzzy once I woke up. Actually, I can hardly remember specific details now. This time, it was more like a typical video game dream for me; I could only see the screen, like watching a dream in third-person, except I knew I was playing the game (in the other dream, I could still see my room). Also, other characters could actually talk, as opposed to having a dialog box pop up on the screen.

I was playing the "new" Zelda game again (see my previous entry: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/fenn...a-games-37018/). This time, though, I'd already completed the game and was replaying it because I'd unlocked bonus stuff or something. I was in this building, and there were various traps and things that I had to get past (but I already knew how to because I'd apparently done it before).

I eventually reached a glass elevator and went down. Then, I got back in and went up, hoping I wouldn't end up on the same floor as before (remember, it was a video game, so things like what floor I went to weren't necessarily up to me). It went all the way to the top, where there was a shop. The shopkeeper offered me two amounts of money - a larger amount and a smaller amount. I can't remember the exact values. I chose the smaller amount, but then he started yelling at me, telling me to take the larger amount, so I did.

I think there was more to the dream after that, but I can't remember.

After that dream, I woke up and started thinking about it to recall as much as I could. I ended up falling asleep again after a couple minutes or so, causing me to have a dream where I was in the car, thinking about what I was going to write in my dream journal when I got back to my cousins' house (that's where we were going). We soon got to my cousins' house, which looked nothing like it does IWL. When we got out the car, my dad said it was raining, but my mom claimed it wasn't. I couldn't feel any rain, so I stuck my hand out in front of me and could feel rain. I thought it was a little odd that the rain stopped about a foot in front of me, but I didn't really think much of it.

In the next dream, my mom and I were walking down Main Street in the village near where I live, heading for a certain shop (which doesn't exist IWL). We were going there to find and purchase some natural remedy for... something. We entered the shop, arriving in a pink room that smelled strongly of perfume, with a white curtain sort of separating it from the shop itself. We walked past the curtain and into the shop.

Inside, the woman who owned the shop was busy giving a tarot reading to a customer, so my mom and I sat down at a nearby table to wait. There were tarot cards at this table, too, but they looked just like normal playing cards. My mom dealt out some cards (all the while, I was just thinking that she had no clue what she was doing) and then jokingly said that the cards said I would pick them all up (there were a lot on the table), but she picked them up anyway. Then, she told me that these cards were wider than the ones back in England, which meant that they had some sort of special meaning (of course, the real reason they were wider was because they were playing cards, which are wider than tarot cards anyway).

Then, I saw Makayla, a young girl from my church. My mom said she was here to tell us we have to take my friend's mom (not Makayla's mom) to the hospital, as we apparently had to every day at this time. She asked me if I just wanted to be checked out at the hospital while we were there or if I wanted to come back here afterwards instead. Honestly, though, I had no idea what we had even come here for.

I was watching Jona hill on a computer (not mine) he had a smoking bong in front of him and the bowl in his hand the bowl was red and said SNX in black he was talking about button icons he said some of the icons are just gay then the dream shifts to a white bathroom sink with a stand in the middle Jona says I mean if your going to have a peins holder don’t blur it out leave it be otherwise you cant tell what it is then I wake up.

Date: 24/07/2012
Place: My bed
Time of getting into bed: 11.00pm
Nothing before bed - Ginseng & Ginkgo the morning before

Waking thoughts in black
Non lucid dreams in blue
Lucid dreams in red

Dream 1 - non lucid (12.55am)

So, I was all intent on taking my Lucid Dreaming pill on a WBTB last night, for the first time. I went to bed early, and fell asleep normally. I must stress I DIDNT TAKE ANYTHING, not even the usual B6 as I wanted to see the effects of the G&C without any interactions. I took Ginseng & Ginkgo the morning before, which I have been doing for about a week now. The night was particularly hot (we're having a heat wave, woohoo!) and I slept semi-naked, and out of the quilt. This always gave me nightmares as a child.

Dream fragments -talking on DV about WILDing and lucid dreaming. I wrote this in my DJ, I was sweating and really tired (hence just a short sentence / fragment) but I was feeling weird. I was slipping in and out of consciousness and as I was I was unintentionally WILDing! It came on so fast, I would lie down to sleep, and felt my body go numb, then a floating sensation, all in a matter of minutes. I didn't fight it, but I mostly 'popped' in and out of it, very unusual sensation. This happened all night, at one point I checked the G&C pill on my bedside table to make sure I hadn't taken it in my sleep, because the feeling was so intense. I hadn't. I decided not to take it, as it was too early. (even though I was dreaming?) I slept, and then woke up to a loud noise a little later. I woke up (or did I? FA?) because there was a loud noise outside, at first I thought it was a helicopter flying by )it happens) but it got louder and louder, I realised I was awake... (I think... I didn't RC) but I was in SP - the noise got loud and turned into screeching, just like HH that people describe, but I've never had it. After the noise, I felt tingling all over my body, and fell asleep. Thinking about it now, was this a dream about WILDing? Or did I wake up in SP briefly? I have no idea.

Dream 2 - non lucid
Two guys are performing oral sex on me, the dream gets really weird, with medieval torture devices being used, I'll skip the details, but it was weird and erotic. This was one messed up sex dream.

Dream 3 - non lucid / slight lucidity at end - 3.00am
My mum is coming to pick me up from somewhere because I have been drinking. When she gets there she has some pizzas ready for me to eat, which I'm thankful for because I'm starving. My mum disappears, and I begin to panic. I ring her phone but she isn't answering, I worry she's been in an accident. However she then pulls in the drive with her car. The car is a big silver estate, and puffing out clouds of black smoke. I initially think she's had car trouble, but she gets out with my younger sister and says she's been in hospital. My younger sister is in tears - I ask her what's wrong? She says her favourite singer Adele, is in hospital. I laugh, and say 'I know she is, she's been in there for ages, call yourself a fan?' but she get's even more upset and says its an operation on her throat. I make a mental note to check weather Adele really has had an operation when I wake up, or weather my dream is making it up, as I can't remember right now.

I woke up, with a music in my head from my childhood, that I had COMPLETELY forgotten. It was eerie and freaked me out, as I tried to get back to sleep, I kept remembering dreams from YEARS AGO. I shit you not. I thought about getting up (this was about 3.30am now) and watching some TV because I was so freaked out I daren't sleep. However I forced myself to sleep, but I woke up again and again, each time remembering dreams from about 5 or 6 years ago, with amazing detail. I thought I'd completely forgotten these dreams. What the hell was going on? I finally fell to sleep properly again.

Dream 4 - non lucid - 5.15am
My family owns a food shop, I go in search of starting my own food shop. I have a clothes shop, but this gets shut down. A pink tie is left hanging from one of the windows, and I take it as a souvenir. I open a shop selling action figures, and I make shoes themed with cartoon characters and comic characters.

Dream 5 - non lucid
I am chilling with friends when someone asks me if I want to take part in a fun, free experiment. I agree. I have to hold these 2 black bars, it's a new kind of virtual game where you play an incredibly life-like character, that moves just by sensing through the bars in your hands. When I grab the bars, they hurt me at first, but I get used to it. I am a young soldier, in the war, I follow his life as he struggles to survive and still look after his wife and young child at home. I get really involved in this soldiers life, eventually feeling like I am him. I wake up in the dream, and the soldier is now a real man, stood over my bed. He tells me he is real, and wants me to follow him, I'm shocked, but not scared. I go and meet his wife and daughter, it is an emotional reunion for them, I watch quietly. Again, I wake up and feel like I'm WILDing, entering SP without trying. My body is tingling and numb at the same time, I feel like I'm floating over my bed. I remember more dreams from my long forgotten past, but this time I try to remember more and I'm shocked when I can. I quite like it. I fall asleep.

Dream 6 - non lucid
I'm watching a TV show about young fathers meeting their in laws to be. One guy is wearing nothing but a purple robe, he has a scruffy beard, and lots of body hair. He poses and messes around and his naked body is clear to see.

Dream 7 - non lucid - 9.03am
I'm at a dinner table in a restaurant, wearing fancy dress. I am wearing a santa costume, but it isn't totally correct. Someone nearby is a policeman. We add up 'fancy dress points' that we get for our outfits, so that we can have enough points to leave the restaurant. There was more to this dream, plus a whole other dream after this one, but I didn't write them down.

Overall, what a weird night. I feel refreshed this morning, but still in awe of the crazy night I had and I can still remember those dreams from years ago!

Random TV Clip
I was in some studio or room that was quite small - everything was bright, modern and futuristic. I remember looking at the TV and seeing the intro animation for The National (news show on CBC Canada), but it was a very old version from the late 2000's. It was quite funny because it was so modern looking and the TV clip was so old. I should have realized and became lucid, but I wasn't focusing right.

Bullying
This one is weird. I was in my garage and I remember being approached by some weird boys (I'm guessing I was being like a little version of myself) and I remember them beating me up. I didn't get bullied when I was little (and even now for that matter) so I don't exactly know why I had this dream. The scene continued on my front yard - I remember hearing them say something like they were doing the 'track brace' or 'train' something to me. In the moment, I was actually pretty freaked out and felt helpless.

I was reading about how to identify if you are dreaming just before I went to bed. The book said that it would take many days of writing down dream journal entries to finally recognize if one is dreaming.

Anyways, when I was dreaming last night I made sure I was paying attention to my surroundings. Everything was going good until I noticed a person in front of me with only one hand, and they had a mickey mouse type of glove on (haha!). At that moment, I knew for sure I was dreaming. Once I became aware that I was dreaming, I was extremely excited since it was my first time lucid dreaming. I immediately started to fly but after a couple of seconds, my excitement got the best of me and the dream slowly faded away. For a couple of seconds, I could feel I was being disconnected, so I tried to calm down a bit, but the world was getting darker and less vivid, and then I woke up.

I really need to learn to keep my concentration in the dreams and make sure I don't wake up!

The weirdest thing is that I know I have felt that feeling of lucid dreaming before. It is as if I have lucid dreamed before, but just did not recognize it to be lucid dreaming.

Extremely weird night...

I don't remember much from last night's dream.

In my dream, I was in my grandma's house, in a room, sleeping on the floor. I was sleeping in my dream. I didn't know I was dreaming at the time, so I thought I was just sleeping. Then, someone came in my room, and tried to wake me up. I was partially awake (in my dream), so I was like "No, Vanessa, go away."

That's weird, because I don't know any Vanessa's. I know a ton of people, but no Vanessa's, and the person in my dream looked similar to someone that I know, but with different colored hair, and eyes.

Just weird.

[The dream was at around 6:30AM]
[So finally had a lucid that i was able to recall well enough after laying in bed for a while after waking up.. it was in time, since my last lucid recorded here was 13 days ago]
[My recall is really bad these days and it even affected the dream, it was blurry most of the time]

I was running on a street in a regular dream, where something exploded and i knew that my mom was there at the explosion... I thought that it must be a dream, because something like this wouldn't happen. So i started running and just flew up into the air simply. I got lucid thanks to this.

As flying above the streets, i noticed that everything was dark again, like in my lucids these weeks... Like i don't have enough control. I wanted to change this, but also got scared for some reason...
I flew back to our house and i noticed that the lights are on in our outbuilding, so i flew in there, hoping to bring the light out with myself.
As i got in there, i found one of my cats doing something in a corner... I wasn't sure what he did, but he looked embarassed and started walking away.

I flew out through the closed windows and kept thinking about how i'll bring out the light with myself from inside the building. As soon as i found myself outside, turns out it didn't succeed.
Everything was still dark, so i flew up again and held my hands in front of my eyes to try and use my really light white hands and create daylight from them. I held them in front of me and then moved them away, focusing on them blurring my vision, so maybe the lighter colors will remain... but it didn't work much.. it only got lighter a little bit. [I was kinda bored of this darkness already, it just happens too much since a while].

Oh, i was part of your dream? Cool!

Some kind of fear feeling got over me yet again as i was in the air and suddenly a black kitten [who i recognized immediately, it was my cat, Kormi] started flying at me really fast. He got to me and "climbed" on my hand and i felt a huge pain. For some reason this cute little kitten was scary. I wanted to get rid of him, but he kept holding on my hand and anytime i moved it, i felt that unbelievable pain.
I flew into our house, hoping to lose him while passing through the glass window, but he was still there, hurting even more...

Then i realized that all i have to do is think positively. So i started thinking about how this is just a dream and nothing should hurt me, everything shouldn't be dark outside.
This seemed to work, because my kitten disappeared finally. I flew out of the window yet again and now it was around 7:30PM in the dream, judging by the amount of light the environment gained. [So it wasn't that dark anymore, i could see well now, but it was getting dark soon].

I was happy that it worked and in my happiness, i flew up to some electrical wires above me and started chewing on one of them. I thought that it's funny that these would be deadly in real.
They tasted horribly though, just like rubber... I thought about that they should taste like gummycandy, but it didn't seem to work, so i left them.
I noticed some electrical storm really far away in the horizont, i wanted to go and check it out.
I had a thought that the cables empowered me, so i changed to super speed flying and headed that way. While flying at extreme speed, i let out some kind of electrical pulses out of my body and they zapped the air around me

When i got to the storm, it was kinda disappointing.... it got really tiny and not that huge as it seemed from further away, so i left and went back to my starting position.
While flying back that way, i remembered my goal, i wanted to find Amy Lee, to ask her some things. [Along with questions about how to befriend Lucy... after all they are both DCs, so she might know].
I flew out to our street and made a remark on how there were no people anywhere. Then i landed on top of a big transformer that is standing at the end of our street.

Amy Lee

I kept thinking about Amy standing on the other side of the transformer and i was turning around to summon her. As i was turning, the transformer was tottering as the air moved it, but i didn't feel unsafe.
Soon after this suddenly the environment shifted around me, now i was still standing on the transformer, but was in our ourbuilding. [Which's ceiling got much much taller].

I noticed a macho looking guy on the ground below. He shouted something at me, but i don't remember it. He seemed to trying to tell me something important, but i didn't care much about it.
For some reason i was able to look through the wall without any effort at this moment... I noticed a DC walking away from the building outside, and she had a black hair and i thought that it must be Amy Lee.
I put my head through the wall and looked down at her, she didn't look up at me, but her eyes were on me and she was smiling at me like she was planning something bad. [I knew it for sure now, she looked perfectly like Amy and i was happy that my mind was able to recreate her so beautifully ]

I flew outside and landed behind her as she was trying to leave the garden.
I wanted to say something to her, but suddenly hear someone behind me, shouting "CAREFULLY!".
I looked behind me, and it was a naked girl, who's body was made of plastic, only her head was human. I just knew it that this was the same guy who were standing near the transformator before... he just changed.
I turned back to Amy, not caring about this random person, even while i had a thought that maybe he/she was the one who brought Amy here.

Just as i looked at her, i heard a howling sound and she started transforming into some kind of monster... It was like a werewolf, but bigger and had some unrecognizable parts on itself.
That weird person behind me said nothing, but i heard in my mind as he/she was thinking "I told you".
Ah well... how could i know that this was just a trick and not the real Amy? I flew up in the air away from this monster, then woke up.

[I guess this dream wasn't so bad, despite the fact that it wasn't that clear as they are usually, but that's thanks to my recall... gotta work on it more now ]
[I'm going back to sleep, since it's just 7:30 when writing this entry, so i hopefully be able to post another LD today ^^]
[11:40AM Edit: Well, couldn't get another LD, sadly, just some regular dreams and a sleep paralysis ]

Ever been in a dream where 3 whole days pass in that dream, but in reality it was only one night? Its confusing. And I discovered 4 new powers in that dream. One was Earth Bending, another X-ray vision, another this portal of slow moving light came out of nowhere, a stream of energy needles came out and collected in my hand, I shot my hand out and the needles turned into ball lightning with a plasma core. The last one was yellow electricity would surround my hand when I'm about to punch them while fighting, and I would punch right through their body, guts and all.

<NON-LUCID DREAM FRAGMENT>
______________________________________
Everyone has those confusing dreams or dream fragments.
Today I've had one of those and once again forgot to do a reality check, which is frustrating.
Anyways, i was in Paris or France.
I could tell cause of how the people dressed and the buildings as well. But the confusing part is when i am in the middle of the road and the world starts to tilt sideways and i fall to the very end of the road... which seems to be a wooden hotel room blocking the road, and an open window.
Anyways the road becomes a wall, the hotel room becomes a floor and the window is the hole in the floor and if i fall through that whole, well i fall into space or wherever else.
And there's beds in all hotel rooms right? Well this French mime is sleeping in the bed and is waken up by the chaos. Well he looks at me and -Facepalms-... which is when i start screaming.
now that i think about it, it's a funny dream kind of but still very confusing and weird. Also i remember this guy walking up to me and saying " everything's upside down in Paris" some time in the dream... i think maybe when i was standing in the middle of the road.
< END OF DREAM>

This is a non lucid recurring dream of mine which I have been having for years.

When I was a kid, I knew of quite a few places which were magical in their own way. Places that the adults in my life just couldn’t quite grasp the importance of. A forest, filled with half-realized hopes and monsters which tore down trails at break-neck speeds. A field, which was so obviously a native burial ground to my young mind, and yet for every place of wonder or adventure there is always at least one place which is just wrong. An abandoned house a mile away which local legend holds to be haunted. Such places just feel bad, dried-out, used-up. If I had to pick one way to describe the place where this dream took me it would be just that-used up.
So far as dreams go, this one starts out pretty slow and uninteresting. I wander, it feels as though I have been wandering for a long while. I can feel a deep sense of thirst at the back of my throat, but I know that there is no water. I am in the middle of a most peculiar desert for some reason that I can’t quite put my finger on. On some level, I know that this is a journey which I have made before. The desert surrounding me on all sides glitters in the moonlight with a crystalline beauty which does nothing to dispel that sense of wrongness. I look off into the distance “North?” and can make out several large crystalline spires in the distance. The ground itself, even the omnipresent wind in this area all shimmer with that same beauty as the spires. Rather than this desert being made out of sand, it is made out of salt.
I make my way to the closest one of the spires and am rewarded for my trouble with the sight of an absolutely massive beached warship. It seemed that the salt from the area had built up on and all around this boat, eventually the boat had become one with the salt spire itself. I am just about to walk up to the large gash in the bottom of the ship when I abruptly wake up, just the way that I always do at this point. I was really hoping to get farther this time.