Recent DJ Posts

Notes: I tried one of my longest WILDs 22.30-23.25. I got some very light dreams about people standing in front of me and some eyes. I think they were HH and not light dreams actually.


I'm walking in a snowy forest. My backpack is heavy and is hurting my shoulders. I'm walking and walking and I don't know to where I am walking. We reach a cliff and it's no longer winter. Dad wants us (me, dad and my brother) to jump of the 10 meter high cliff into the water. Me and my brother doesn't want to. Dad grabs my brother and starts to carry him while he runs unto the edge of the cliff. Dad makes a really long jump but doesn't make it to the edge of the cliff. For some reason he throws my brother over the edge before he lands on the ground. Dad lands on the cliff while my brother falls down the cliff. I scream at dad telling him that he is an idiot. He doesn't care much and says that he can fix it. My brother is really angry and can swim here (He can't swim IRL). Dad jumps in the water to save my brother but ends up pushing him down almost two meters when he lands on him while swimming to him. I am so angry at dad because it feels as if he wants to hurt my brother. Dad is calling grandpa and talks with speaker on. We listen to the conversation while being mad at dad.

Notes: My brother is having a tough time and is screaming a lot now. Dad is always going to him and trying to talk to him even tough my brother doesn't want to.

I'm watching a screen. There is a man that is talking english about how to be a better guitarist. He takes his guitar and says that you have to practice to play only using pull offs and hammer ons. He counts down on swedish and starts playing some really good music only using pull offs and hammer ons with his left hand.

Notes: I got some inspiration from this dream IRL.

I'm playing Among Us but everyone has a heart over them. You are able to give other people hearts during the game to those you don't think are impostors. I think to myself how I would want to win as an impostor and get a heart from everyone.

Notes: I played some Among Us with my cousins yesterday.

I woke up 04.00 and wrote down the dreams above this.

I wake up in a hospital and I am shocked. I have panic in my voice and asks where I am and why I am here. A doctor and mom come to me and say that it's alright. Mom says that they are here to operate my warts away (They use the swedish word for warts but they are talking about my birth marks). I don't have a shirt on me and the doctor shows me where I have different birthmarks I have never seen before (I took a look under my shirt now IRL just to be sure I didn't have the birthmarks the doctor showed to me and I didn't have them). He takes a laser and do some weird patterns on my stomach that is supposed to help the operation. New part. We are in Sturkö and I have got a big belt over my stomach, about 15 cm width. It has shining lights on the inside that are placed over my birthmarks that are supposed to take them away. White lights on the front and red on the back. I turn it on and the lights really hurt in a way I have never felt before. It is like a burning chemical feeling about it. I walk around and it turns out that the belt actually isn't secured that good on my stomach. It falls down and the lights don't hit my birthmarks anymore. I walk around for a long time. New part. I'm at home and some of my cousins are also there. Jonathan is nagging about how he wants to play a game to his mother. The belt is still there and is hurting. During some periods I go to a sofa and can't move because it hurts so much. The pain goes in waves. New part. I'm walking in city with mom and the belt is still on. I look on my stomach and see how some kind of fluid is coming from the birthmarks. I touch the fluid with my finger and inspect it. I see how the birthmarks are starting to disappear. I think about mom's cousin L who has operated some of her birthmarks. I ask mom if it is not wrong to operate birthmarks. If no one would operate away birthmarks no one would look down on people with birthmarks and no one would have to suffer like I have done. Mom's answer has to do with that the world can't change and that we have to adapt. She is not happy with the world but says that I have to suffer because the world is bad.

Notes: I talked with mom about L and her operations for some years ago and havn't thought about them for a long time. Dad uses some kind of laser to cure his patients sometimes. I usually don't feel pain in my dreams. The white lights on the front and red lights on the back has to do with car lights. I study for the driving license theory test now.

I'm on discord and I see a gif with a girl that is transformed to a man. There is some kind of vacuum cleaner that sucks her breasts out from her. My view comes inside the gif and I see the woman that is now a man but still has a woman's face. She raises up from a operation table with some hospital men around her. She walks out. I become the operated person and wonder what I should do this beautiful morning now when I have changed gender. I am outside my school walking up the street to Centrum. I am aimlessly walking the streets and just enjoy that I am free.

Notes: When I was a kid I wanted to be a girl and sometimes walked in a princess outfit. My name in Among Us is Miss Pink and the persons I play with often refer to me as she.

Notes: That was an eventful night. The dream about my birthmarks was really long and most of the time I was just idling and feeling pain.

I was in an industrial-looking environment. I don't remember why, but I tossed a bottle of compressed gas (air, or something more explosive) at two welders. The bottle exploded and presumably killed one of them. Or at least knocked him out. The other one, a woman, followed me into another room and attacked me. There was a brief fight, and then I beat her to death using a kind of stick. Turns out 'she' was transsexual.

In a slightly less horrific dream, I felt guilt over going to the movies because I have no job at the moment. That dream isn't even a dream, it's just reality.

A dream I had this morning (18 August 2012) - much vivid detail.

I was finally on TV. Not sure how it happened, but it was a 6:00 - 6:30 pm segment for children, in which I appeared in the same manner as in a YouTube video discussing the longest words in several languages.

If you message me, I'll send you the link - unless I actually become too famous and you'll know right away.

My Facebook friend, initials DL, was on the program as well. Later, I remember talking to him on Facebook about how he saw me on the program, too!

Cut. Something about a beer store.

How did they get my video, anyway? This other kid was one year younger than me, but this appeared to be some kind of educational program, as the credits rolled in, displaying our names, and that of one other teletubby-like creature.

It gave out the following messages...

MY NAME: GROW UDD
HIS NAME: GROW OLD

This was strange for several reasons. First, they spelled out a nonexistent word: udd. Perhaps they meant "odd"? They couldn't have meant the same word for both of us, considering D and L are on opposite sides of the keyboard, I thought.

Wait a minute. Does this mean they wanted me to die young?

Or perhaps, die young as late as possible?

I bent down and ate my soup. I thought about that valedictorian speech that I had long prepared, but never got to speak in front of an audience.

Sometime later, I go to bed. The same teletubby-like creatures that hosted the show were now anthropomorphic talking animals that sat on the right of a ledge and bookshelf in the corner of my room. They were discussing a most unusual subject as I proceded to sleep.

They were talking about what happens when somebody's testicles get twisted and "suffocate".

"So, a new female is created?!"

Somewhere in the voices was a hint of judgement and contempt. I thought that if I discussed a so-called 'nutshot fetish' I had with the producers of the show, they'd be upset. They were part of Family Studios, which was a spin-off affiliate program of a North American charity very similar to Focus on the Family. Both programs were very pro-life, conservative, and anti-LGBT rights.

As I was thinking about, or perhaps actually did, write about my experience on a somewhat-gay Facebook forum, the transwoman wrote back something neither demeaning nor incredibly strange. However, my instant thought or response was, "you broke me", an attribute that I couldn't have thought possible for a transsexual person, whoever he/she was.

Later, I was watching the news, or maybe being part of it. A huge storm had stirred up sand storms and haboobs in Texas, A facade of a cattle ranch being "roughed up" appeared. On the news, they said the ex-storm (or ex-low, or something like ex-nor-easter) had made its way to Japan.

This had never happened before, but this year, this was the third time. I thought, how could a storm track that way, if it was moving the "opposite" to a regular storm?

Most storms would track from Japan eastward toward Oregon, then sink south toward Texas. If this storm was heading the other way, it must be over the Arctic.

Perhaps it was 2012. Or maybe the physical year didn't exist, as the dream state was on a floating timeline.

The news then reported that, after recently 100 young boys had suddenly gone missing in Texas, most of them were found alive. The families, and the communities, were praying for the safe return of the rest.

The next segment featured a part about the abortion controversy. It showed a woman with brown tape over her stomach area, the commentor saying, "the crosses heal the wounds of young women who were photographed having an abortion in the woods".

Previously, there was a case where a pro-life activist photographed the aborted fetus of a woman who had aborted her child secretly in the woods. This time, women all over the country who were not pregnant were wearing this brown tape. Any time a photographer passed over, they were instructed to openly state they were not pregnant, and question what the hell the photographer was doing there.

And they did. The photographers were apprehended by police and security, and taken away.

As both a Liberal Christian and a Christian Liberal who was often pro-life but in major cases also pro-choice, I was torn about this segment. First, I thought, "were these crosses false prophets"?

My mind then wandered over to a kitchen when I was five years old, but that was a facade again. I thought about pro-life protesters in the streets, and what was to become of them.

I remembered a certain video on Godvine about how anti-abortion protesters convinced a mother not to abort her baby. Would these now be a thing of the past? Would pro-choice people now try to convince teen pregnancies to abort rather than say, seek adoption?

I asked somebody, "would there still be anti-abortion protests? Or are those protected indefinitely under the constitution?"

On the pro-choice side, why were these photographers mobilizing in the first place? Perhaps they were agents of a new Romney-Ryan administration that opposed planned parenthood?

I personally supported the rights of the women who were violated. What about people who needed an abortion to save the life of the mother and then were violated as they were filmed, filed and reported?

Browsing through my Twitter, I saw that Pastor Terry Jones was following me. I doubted whether I should follow back, as this was apparently the pastor who had led the Qu'ran burning controversy at the Dove World Outreach Center in Florida.

I wake up at 4:43 am. Proceding to write these down now, and after another half hour I fall asleep again.

I remember nothing about what happened.

Sleeping again from about 8:15 - 9:15 am.

Only remember the ending this time. George Shrinks was on a mission somewhere, and saved a girl on the sub-11th floor of a basement. Flying in his Zoopercar, he stages a show.

His mom is holding a secret egg. However, she wears it on a fake turban-like mummified head gear, which George then unravels and pulls out the egg.

The contents turn out to be a prize. Apparently, a group was awarding us more than $8.26 million for defending gay rights.

O...K...then.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a classroom, sitting at a desk or a table. The desks, I think, were all joined together for each row, so each row of desks was like a long table. I sat at about the middle of the classroom, and just a bit to the right of the center of the row. The room was lit with a dim, drab, greenish fluorescent light.

I was probably myself, at my age. But I was sitting among a bunch of kids in about sixth grade. Everybody around me was probably Latino.

I turned around to my left and faced the back row. Everybody in the classroom was getting ready to take a multiple choice test. I was telling everybody in the row behind me how important this test was, but how everybody would do well in the test, because everybody was really smart.

The test had now begun. I noticed that one of the kids, a boy sitting more toward the left of the center in the row behind me, was doing his test in a weird way. The boy was kind of overweight. He wore a black heavy metal t-shirt. He had his hair shaved into a style a bit wider than a mohawk.

I remarked to somebody in the row behind me -- either a woman my age or a girl the boy's age -- that the boy was answering all his multiple choice questions with only one letter -- either "c" or "d." I laughed at this, hoping to share the laugh with the woman or girl. I probably implied that only a stupid person would answer all his questions with the same letter.

But now the test was over. I realized what I'd done. After I'd given such a nice speech, telling everybody how smart they all were, I'd singled out one boy as being stupid. I may have caused that boy to lose faith in himself. And I may have made myself look like a cruel kind of idiot to everybody else.

So now, to make up for what I'd said, I started giving some weird speech to some group of kids (and an adult?) near me. It was intended for everybody to hear, especially the boy. But I was acting as if I were just saying it spontaneously, and like I didn't think the boy was going to hear it.

I basically said something about how everybody makes their own choices on a multiple choice test, and how everybody determines the choices that they make based on their bodily rhythms. So whatever patterns a person makes out of the choices on the test, those patterns are good, because they match the person's bodily rhythms.

The boy stood up from his desk. He walked toward the right side of the room, then up to the door of the classroom. I could tell he felt bad about my having made fun of him. And I could tell he thought the speech I'd given in an attempt to make him feel better only made him think I was an idiot.

I called out to the boy before he left the room. I said something to him, but I don't remember what. The boy turned around a little bit, not facing me, really, and said something to me, kind of mocking the way I'd made fun of him.

Dream #2

I was in some building. I had headed away from the first floor atrium of the building, and was now headed up a stairway. The stairway was wide and went up to a second floor or mezzanine area.

Another stairway, a bit narrower, went off to the right, from the second floor to some higher floors. This second stairway looked out onto the first floor atrium area.

As I was reaching the top of the first stairway, a guy stood at the foot of the second stairway, looking down to the atrium area and talking to a woman who stood there. The building was really quiet, even though it was really big, and the woman was the only one down there.

As I approached the staircase, I thought I'd just edge past the guy and let him keep talking. But the guy saw me, so he started walking up the staircase, in an attempt, I guess, to keep moving ahead of me. But he kept talking to the woman.

The staircase had two sides, divided by a railing. At some point, I tried to get onto the other side. But somehow the guy was blocking my way from doing that as well.

At first I kind of liked the guy. He was a white guy with pale skin, a kind of round face, a red beard, and read hair. He wore squarish, thickish eyeglasses, a cap, and a plaid, button-up shirt. He reminded me of a really nice guy I knew in New York, who now lives in Chicago.

But the more I looked at this guy, and had to listen to all the crap he was saying to the woman, the more I realized I didn't like him at all. He even seemed to be getting fatter and more annoying-looking. I wasn't going to be patient with him. If he kept blocking my way, I was just going to push past him.

But as soon as I pushed past the guy and started walking more quickly up the stairs, the guy started walking more quickly up the stairs himself, as if he had to keep up with me, or keep one step ahead of me. The whole time he was doing this, he was still trying to keep up a conversation with the girl down on the first floor.

The staircase got narrower and steeper. Also, somehow, it got twisty, like a helix. I had kept going faster and faster, to get past the guy. But he kept going faster and faster, to match me. At some point, he finally stopped talking to the woman. The guy and I were just in an all-out race.

By this point the staircase was so steep, it almost felt like it was inclining backwards. I had to hold onto the railing just to keep my balance. I didn't even know if I'd make it to the top of the staircase. For the final few steps, I had to close my eyes. The very last step was incredibly difficult.

The top of the staircase was some kind of small area, like an administrative area in a university library. I walked past the balcony that was around a staircase, then through a small hallway, then into a little kind of hallway-like alcove off to the right.

The man who had raced me to the top of the staircase was following me. We both sat down on a bench in the little alcove area. The guy sat to my right. He slumped over on his right side as we sat.

The guy started complaining to me. He was upset that I'd beaten him. (I'd only beaten him by half a step -- if that much.) But he was making it sound like I'd purposely pushed him really hard. Because I'd pushed him hard, I'd injured him somehow. So he was going to get me in trouble for injuring him.

I had stood up at this point, probably because I didn't want to listen to the guy anymore. I might have thought I was going to walk away.

But now the guy stood up in my face. He wasn't wearing a shirt. And he looked a lot different. He was clean-shaven, with a square, close-haircut and brown hair. He had a wide body, like good muscle slowly going flabby. His eyes were, at first, kind of pale blue.

The guy shouted at me that I shouldn't have pushed him so hard, because he had diabetes, and now his body was messed up in all kinds of ways.

The guy's appearance changed a little again. His irises now had a pale, reddish tint to them. I even thought to myself, Is this guy an albino?

And now, on the guy's chest, there was a tattoo. It was like a double-headed "triangle," or an abstract mountain with two peaks. But the left peak was slightly highter than the right peak. And in the body of this "triangle" was a vertical rectangle, solid black, with a wide, diagonal strip of white running across its center.

I felt bad for the guy. I didn't mean to get his diabetes all messed up. Plus -- for some reason, the guy now reminded me of a female-to-male transsexual. Something about this was turning me on, like I was attracted to the part of the man that was still female.

So I decided to be gentle with the guy. I tapped either the guy's chest or back with the back of my hand. The guy's body was still sweaty. We both sat down on the bench. I started saying something nice to the guy.