non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP I am with a bunch of high school kids. After some earthquakes, we get "attacked" by clouds of glitter which gets inside us and we start seeing the whole universe and feeling disoriented, like tripping. After a while it gets more clear and we realize we are on board of a train and everything feels a bit different. Outside it is desert and the clouds are white and red. We talk about what to do. I vote for keeping going and seeing more of this place, Zilla and others want to get out and walk. When the train stops at a stop, they get off. The conductor and other local people try to dissuade us of doing so, but this group is very stubborn. Most kids though opt to stay on the train. I join Zilla and her group, despite not wanting initially. I ask the locals for the nearest village and they point towards a direction and say there is only one around. We get there and we go to the only club/bar where we can drink and eat something. It now feels like we are in some Latin American country in the 40-50s. But the bartender says we are actually still in Portugal. We sit down at a lounge room while waiting for some food and we discover a cabinet full of geography and history books. I ask the girl serving us if there is any book about Europe and she opens a book on our table. She has to go back to work and we gather around to read it. My idea is that somehow we were transported to a parallel universe and I am sure history and geography will be different from what we know. I plan on stealing the book if it proves that, so we can bring proof of it back to our universe. I am at some space station, as part of a skilled workforce who is sent to any planet where we are needed. At the moment we are here awaiting our next assignment. It is normal to hook up with someone for the months we are stuck somewhere, casual relationships that may or may not become serious. My best friend, who's Indian, hooked up with some guy who looks like Idris Elba and she can't believe her luck, because she is just a very average girl. So am I and I am dating a guy who looks just like Chris Pratt and is just as goofy. We are all at the laundry room, washing our clothes and there is a rumor we are about to be assigned to new missions. My boyfriend gets butt naked and asks me to check some pimples on his butt and he sticks his ass up. My friend's boyfriend yells disgusted that he didn't have to see it, while covering his eyes. I ask him to please put his pants back on, but he insists I check his pimples. There are a few indeed, a bit red and swollen and I tell him to just not scratch them and please put his pants on. Then someone comes in and right there starts saying where we'll be sent. My Indian friend is asked to go back to India for some time, there is some mission there for her but she doesn't want to go. People say "But isn't your family there? Don't you feel lucky to be sent home?" But apparently not and I suspect it is because she knows her boyfriend is probably going somewhere else. I and my boyfriend are going to go on the same mission to another station, in the most distant boundaries of our known universe. During the travel there, he keeps making funny scenes like pretending he is going to open the door of the shuttle to get some air. It is actually making me nervous because there is a button we just have to press for the door to open and a secondary safety door is not closed, because people just feel so comfortable they stopped using those. But I insist on feeling safer, so we close that safety door. At our destination, my boyfriend is supposed to test some new secret ship (he is a pilot) and I get to see him doing maneuvers outside. The ship is amazing, looks like a toy plane with a large round nose and tiny chunky wings, but the surface is all metallic, no windows, also with sharp edges giving it a geometric look much like a dodecahedron and it is bright shiny red. There is some unfortunate episode where some dude is ejected into space after a mutiny on some other ship, on purpose or due to some malfunction, can't tell, and my boyfriend happens to be on the spot and manages to grab him with mechanical arms and in just seconds shoot straight to a station hangar with the dude. He saves him, but soon after there is a strange infection spreading in the station and the director comes out to announce we have been compromised and it is my boyfriend's fault. The guy he saved brought with him an infection. The director explains we are in an area infested by these little aliens - they aren't viruses or bacteria, literally they are like tiny microscopic people who enter someone's body and exploit its resources like a planet. I get to see images of them coming out of a tiny ship inside some body and spread out through the organism to harvest whatever they need. I just don't understand how they multiply to be able to infect others. As he speaks, the director starts showing symptoms and everybody runs away. I, my boyfriend and another friend with her kids, we get on some escape pod, hoping none is infected and we head back to Earth, where we land in Lisbon. Life is normal back on Earth, we go eat some sweets at a café and talk about what to do next. The kids never been to Lisbon and are excited to see new things, but my boyfriend is insisting that we should stay home and rest.
Updated 11-25-2021 at 10:09 PM by 34880
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP With Nighthawk and Riverstone. We've been talking about this and that and Nighthawk says he misses me. He is sitting to my right and I hold hands with him, My heart is full and I drop one tear down my right cheek that only he can see, because Riverstone is to my left. Then the guys discuss something in private and Nighthawk leaves without even saying goodbye and I feel heartbroken. Riverstone says they talked about us all being together but him being afraid we would have to cut ties with everyone else and I say I don't care as long as we have each other. Then I spot him standing down the road, which goes down hill. Slowly he walks back to us and although we say nothing, my heart warms up again. Then we take to the train station to go somewhere and they simply jump over the gates, not paying tickets. I feel uncomfortable and stop. Then the lady from the ticket office starts yelling we have to pay. Riverstone is adamant in not paying and says to ignore her and I insist in going back to pay. I am disappointed at them. I pay the 3 tickets and it's like 60 cents. On the train, I meet Zilla and our girl gang. The train fills up after a while, to the point where I feel a bit claustrophobic, so when it stops at a couple stations later, I briefly get out just to get some air. Finally at the last stop everyone gets out, including me and my friends, but I notice I can't find my bag. Now the train is actually a bus and I run to the front door to meet the driver. I ask him to not leave while I go inside and look for me bag. He pretends not to understand what I am saying. He speaks to some dude inside with him in a mix of french and english, so then I try speaking in english and he still says he doesn't understand. I speak in french and then he starts looking at me like he does understand. But he keeps being rude and denying me entrance, so I force my way into the bus and look for my bag under every seat and on overhead compartments. Can't find a thing and he mocks me. I finally give up, but have the feeling he kept driving the bus and we are somewhere else entirely different. So I ask for his help, because I have no ID, no money, no cards and I am lost somewhere in the middle of this city. He does not care. So I get out, thinking about asking a local for the nearest police station, when I realize we are still at the exact same place where people descended from the train/bus. Then wonder about my guys and I hear them yelling from across the road, where they were sitting in a park bench. I run to them and hug them in tears, thanking them for having waited for me. They don't understand why I am so emotional about it, because from their perspective it was like 5 mins and they were always seeing me from their seat. So they say "of course we waited". Then we keep walking to whatever destination we're heading.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At a huge place wth different departments, can't tell exactly what it is, seems like a company. Suddenly all turns into silence and people seem to form groups and start killing each other mindlessly, as in the Purge. I am caught in a large open space office with a group of 4 people with guns but all I have for my defense is office supplies and a bar code scanner, which I aim at the eyes of an attacker to defend myself. I turn a table upside down and from behind it I throw stuff at attackers and then manage to escape. I meet some nordic man who is a researcher or something else with some status in his country for some reason. I get really upset when others try to kill him, so along with a couple other people, we decide to protect him no matter what. One of the killers gets closer and I recognize him as a friend of mine, so I am shocked, but he laughs in my face. Asks me to surrender the guy, we don't. I say he might make me bleed but then I am gonna kill him. We escape this place and enter a moving train, but I am sure some of our attackers have managed to also get into it. I try to find a place where we can be safe. I pass by a wagon where I find Zilla with her partner and her baby. They are entertaining guests as if they were at home. I stop for a while just to kiss and greet. Then quickly move on. I spot our attackers, they are now wearing Halloween costumes and people are amused by it. I jump from the train and hope to make them chase me. I enter some warehouse. They follow me. I spot a small window between some shelves and sneak out through it. Outside I find the back of a museum and there is some construction work going on. I keep running across the place and enter the museum. Inside is happening Comic Con.
15th July 2021 Fragment: (recall going from later to earliest bit) I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold. The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move. (just before this) I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation. Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production. R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age). Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started) (there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream) Notes: - This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months. -- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities. - The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end. - There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.
2nd July 2021 Fragment: In Outland. Some alternate version of Helfire I've dreamed of before, years ago I think. It's a mix of Netherstorm in terms of landscape features but looks like Helfire. Something about me trying to get to level seventy but I find out that eighty is actually the maximum level, through seeing other players I think. There's a back-and-forth mix of D3 and WoW. I'm both trying to create a level twenty or so questline involving dragons, for the zone I'm in, I think; but also trying to work on an art project about an erotica comic in a M/M theme. (recall started fading at this point) At one point, I'm working on this comic project and alt-tabbing between games and drawings for reference and then H comes in to this odd office room I'm in and starts talking to me. The room is very wooden? A dark-ish stain, probably? H is kind of having a go at me for "not doing much". I feel annoyed and partly insulted, since I try as much as I can. Constant interruptions occur (not just or only from H but something else) while I'm trying to work on this questline thing. The dream eventually deviates into some other bit in a town. (recall gap) I'm in a subway starting at my home town and I'm sort of composing a train run schedule that will go from a yellow line to the blue line? Stations seem dark and unfamiliar, not to mention cramped, they seem more like my vague memory of the London underground and some other generic subways I've seen. I'm alone in this train with the conductor, I'm just in the passenger area at first looking at the maps. Then I knock on the door to the cabin or something and I tell him about what I'll be doing. I can see through the front glass that we are arriving at a station full of people, mostly university students or something, people in school uniforms. I tell the conductor that we can't stop here for now because "that's too many gamers" and that I'll add this station later on into the schedule. And I think about how they'd probably end up giving this new route I'm making a very bad reputation and causes issues later on. So I think to myself that they'll just have to catch a different train for now. Notes: - Feels like it's been a while since a proper subway dream, though I suppose I have had a few not that long ago, that come to mind. -- As always this should be enough of a cue to question reality, but it never seems to be enough, nothing seems to be enough. - Again, dragons. Dragons are rarely the central topic in my dreams. This time they weren't the focus of eroticism but seems there was still a loose link since I was working on both their questline and the erotic comic. -- This thematic could relate both to my difficulty in sticking to a single project and to the fact that I always want to do really involved things. Doing either a comic or a full questline are projects that require a lot of time and attention. Relating to the difficulty in sticking to a project, I often lose track of myself and my attention to things when things start feeling long. - Unusually, the train was symbolically under my control though indirect influence of its compliant conductor, maybe a metaphor about navigation, guidance or inability to lead action directly. -- Relating to this, I have found that I am much calmer and more able to work effectively if I'm not directly in charge of something. If I am in advisory or assisting role, I tend to be able to remain emotionally detached for better results. Thinking further about this, ironically this is not the case when it comes to doing artwork for others, since that's still primarily based on my own ability to lead artistically (since I'm not being asked to emulate another artists' style). - When in the dream H has a go at me, I think this is actually a metaphor for me having a go at myself. I do sometimes think I'm not trying as hard as I could be. I often think about how it feels like I'm not leading myself anywhere but also about how it feels so hard without anyone guiding me. -- The irony to me feels like even under guidance I still feel like I'm not getting guidance, which makes me feel like it's a problem relating to myself only and not to others and their interactions with me.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP Some dream in which I was lucid but passively reacting and at some point I turn to my DCs and ask what should I do with my lucidity and because we are near some rail tracks and trains, someone suggests making a train fly. I find it interesting as I never did any such thing so I make a train fly, but it goes horribly wrong and crashes some 100 mt ahead. There is a fire and victims and the blame goes all to the poor train conductor. So then I and my DC friends try to help the conductor escape the scene and avoid a public lynching. We decide to hide her in a wooden box that is on the ground near some construction materials and take her away inside it. But the box is incomplete so I use my powers to duplicate the wood panels and finish the box. As I do it, I am surprised by how perfectly I can clone wooden planks and other materials but failed keeping the train flying. I am at some foreign country with my dog Hachi. I need to take a train and have no clue if dogs are allowed on the train so I take my chances. Then mid travel I see the ticket inspector coming and remember I forgot to buy a ticket to myself. As I go through a slight panic, some nice eastern European dude seems to want to help me by holding Hachi's leash, while I look for my purse for money, to try to pay my ticket now. The trains stops at some station and the inspector is gone, so I am relieved, but turn around and so is Hachi. I look for the guy and see him near the door, but he is not holding Hachi anymore. I go after him yelling and he points to a lady sitting some rows behind me and says she has the dog. Then he leaves. I run to the lady, but she is holding some puppy, not Hachi. I tell her he is not my dog and she says something like "so what? keep the puppy". I am mad and panicky because the guys who kidnapped Hachi got out of the train, which started moving again and I feel like I might never see him again.
comment dream lucid Thinking a lot about dreaming before falling asleep. Ramp Driving a motorbike off a ramp, jumping into the air. It was supposed to test something, maybe how someone got killed. Beaches all around and low tide. Walk with V With V in the forest, talking about how often I go out. I told him I help my family walking their dog. Hair I was talking with someone about which hairstyle I would like. False lucid I was walking down a path, playing some game. I think I did it for a second time and in an opposite direction, but that was just a vague memory. The rules were that you had to be lucid and do various tasks. There was a corner of a rock where the path led along a narrow ledge and I met a boy and a girl there. I offered the girl if she wanted to sit with me for a while and we crawled into this grassy alcove, letting the boy pass. I asked her what her name was and she told me her name. I told her I was Indigo. I asked how it was going so far and she said good, but she actually wanted to go so she wouldn't waste her time. So we said goodbye. It occurred to me that I've been lucid for a long time, that I've never had a LD this long, like 2 hours. But good for me - long LD = better chance of winning for me, while others have to do it in parts. I checked the paper with the tasks and it said to rubb our hands, so I did it, even though I thought I didn't need to, but I saw the organizer in front of me, so I wanted to get points. Then I saw more organizers around the corner and there was a fridge and I climbed on it and rearranged some food. I suddenly knew they were evil and decided to confront them - I told them I knew who they were and that they were serving the dark lord. They had a gun. I said they could kill me, but I had a plan to escape by waking up I closed my eyes and opened them and nothing, I was still there. That surprised me. I tried again and failed again. I remembered the reddit poll "can you wake up from a LD" and my answer "yes, reliably". That's what I get for that. I tried blinking really fast again, but it didn't work. Then I was in this labyrinth of big metal cabinets. I felt like I'd been lucid for an awfully long time, hours. I asked the organizers what they had done to my body in reality, that I was still asleep. They grinned, which worried me. Maybe I'm in a coma or something. But maybe not, and I have to wake up sometime. I figured there was probably a purpose for me there, something I needed to do. Somehow save everything and defeat them. I had this stick in my hand with some roots on the end. I've been poking around under the cupboards with it, seeing if there's some object that will allow me to save everything. I must have a reason to have that stick for... I felt myself waking up, and I thought "finally". I knew instantly that I was waking up from a false lucid. I logged keywords for the dream because I really liked it and wanted to remember. I felt confident that there could be a LD after this. I reiterated the intention to lucid dream. It took me some time to fall asleep again. Train to Birmingham I was at the station and it was about trains. Z said there was a train leaving for Birmingham and she was going to take it. I said that the train to Birmingham was useless to me, that we usually go via Manchester, and she was surprised. I walked with her on the way to the trains and there was the time and the Birmingham sign by the steps to the platform and it was flashing as if the train was about to leave. I hesitated for a moment but let it go, it wouldn't do me any good. I went back to the main concourse to look at the departures board to see what else was coming. The board was just changing. That's all I remember - the next was probably the transition into the false awakening. Real lucid - Meeting my dream guide I woke up in our bedroom and immediately suspected it was a FA. But as soon as I realized it, my vision got worse and I could only see two blurs. I was afraid I was going to wake up, but I knew I was still in a dream. It occurred to me to start picturing a deck chair and a beach or something, as what people do when they have sleep paralysis. Suddenly something disturbed me and I opened my eyes and I was awake and it was still a FA. Yes! I sat on the bed and R was awake next to me and there was also J. I knew I could ignore them, but I wanted to make them disappear with a snap of my fingers like in the daydream rehearsal, so I tried, but it didn't work, which I guess amused them a little. I started looking at what was the same in the room and what was different. Almost everything looked the same to me. There were these shelves and these pictures. I noticed that the frames of the pictures were a different color than they were IRL (actually, almost everything was different and we had no pictures or shelves IRL). There was also a wall cabinet with a brown fabric curtain and I had the feeling that something green was peeking out - an iguana. I went to look, but my cat came out. Goals! Verbal commands and then meeting my dream guide. I try "Clarity now!" but the dream already has great clarity, so what can improve? On the contrary, it gets slightly worse. But only for a moment. I leave the room and try "Increase lucidity", but nothing noticeable happens. I see a green jacket on the rack and I try to make it disappear. Might be easier than with humans. But nothing. I try again and the whole hallway to the living room disappears in a blur. I use the door to the second bedroom and walk into a large room that looks like a gym. There are mats, exercise equipment, and large windows facing the city street. I try to do a somersault on the mat, but I stop halfway through and just roll. The movement feels realistic. Goals! I walk across the room and shout "Dream, dream, give me my dream guide". I turn around and there's a curtain to the left of the windows (probably a mini room with more equipment) and my guide comes out from behind the curtain. She's a black woman, in her fifties, maybe early sixties (probably not, her hair is still dark brown/black and not grey), curvy but not obese, with big boobs. I met her once before in a daydream and she was an old white woman but I know its her. I said, "You've been here the whole time." She nods. We go and sit down on the leather upholstered couch that's appeared there for us. I said I didn't know how much time we had, or maybe she asked, either way, I knew she wanted and needed to know. I replied, "I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't come straight here. But I tried not to linger too long."She nods. I asked: "Will you teach me something?" She smiled. I started to wake up. Maybe she wanted to teach me DEILD? But more likely I was too excited
10th May 2021 Dream: I'm on some cliff-top in a surrealist environment. There are many cliffs which are mostly straight up vertical and the height of mountains and the cliff I'm on is the same. There's a blue (cyan tinge?) but desaturated sky. I fall down to a lower rock platform on the side of the cliff but then I use drilling tools like the ones from DRG, quickly making my way back up through the rock. I make a guess as to where I'm going (based on some environmental factor?) and there are some parts where there are large swiss-cheese-like holes and openings in the cliff that I avoid. I then find and head inside some structure which has some hallways within. There's a clay-like tone to this structure? There are also some window openings in the walls but they are sort of perfectly squared off and have no glass or frame, but I don't recall wind or anything of the sort. There may be some lights inside the structure but I'm not sure. Then, there's a counter just by a hallway corner. On this counter-top, I place two kitchen knives. One is like our metal bread knife and the other is like one of the coloured knives, about the same depth, so probably the magenta one? Some dream characters appear behind me and they seem to be passing by, but other characters are just idling around. I interact with the passer-bys and they ask me casual questions, which I answer. They fit into the archetype of some of my black friends from school, but they are not these friends specifically. We just know each other in the same way. Then I move away from the counter. Someone shows up, I think AM (mom's friend L's daughter) But her skin is not as pale white as I recall it (don't notice this specifically in the dream?), her hair is darker and more like mine and she's a bit chubby. I say something about waiting "fourty years for my wife" and think about how different she looks. She sits and reclines on top of the same counter from before, her feet are bare. 11th May 2021 Fragment: Something about being with a big group, in a subway. Queen Elizabeth II is with us and is a part of our group. We board a train (looks like L subway) and the passengers who are already inside are staring and openly voice that they can't believe that it's actually the queen. She takes a seat and I sit beside her. I talk to her and tell her some story from my life, from years ago. She doesn't reply to anything I say and I interrupt myself remarking "you've probably heard it all before I suppose", realising that she is just that much older than me and must have heard and known the life stories of hundreds or thousands of people. Notes: - The night before the 10th, I was practising anatomy drawing and there was a woman in a reference image that fit the same typical appearance as what AM appeared like in the dream. - In the fragment's dreaming context we were on some kind of tour and the subway was a connecting point to get to somewhere else. - When I woke up, I think I had lingering feelings and found myself surprised at the dream passengers' shock for seeing the queen. In the dream the whole context felt absolutely normal and day-to-day. - I don't think I've dreamt of Elizabeth II before. In the dream she was much like my paternal grandmother in some respects, possibly even physically, but as a character she seemed tired, worn out. -- This probably comes partly as a result of having heard of the prince's passing but also a general curiosity about old age, partly mixed with my own feelings about how it must be very wearing to lead a life that is meant only for duty.
Freaky subway nightmare I remember that the situation is like playing a video game again, although this time I feel like I am forced to play, despite my fear of seeing some gruesome image within it. Then I am in the game, physically, and it's regarded as real. There's something about being underground. There's something I don't remember, then I am in a sort of train with people, and I sort of have to save us by getting weird rubbery things on circular parts on a metal box that seems to be central to the function of the train. I notice nobody else is doing anything and that if we don't manage to do this, we will crash with full force into a sort of other chambers, which we are sort of falling into from the top, and to brake we have to get the rubber things on there. I also appear to be some female character relevant to the story, and she might have a name starting with A. I see that nobody else is trying to save us, so I animate them to help. But then, I struggle to do it, so we soon crash. But then suddenly, there's like a second try, so this time, the same things happen, except that this time, I manage to get most of the rubber things on. I think we will die again, but this time, the train brakes and stops in the chamber with no one hurt. This might not seem freaky, but there's some sort of deep fear associated with this gruesome image. There were some past dreams that were so horrible that I've supressed them, with a much stronger version of this fear associated with it that are still horrible to think about today. Not sure where this fear comes from, but I probably don't want to know, to be honest.
24th April 2021 Fragment: In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo. Fragment: I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this". Note: - Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP Watching tv with other people. Some famous reporter, sided by two other tv personalities are sitting behind a table, in what appears to be a hotel room, decorated with antique tiles and vintage wallpaper. But something is weird and I realize they are balancing to the sides at a certain cadence. I say they seem to be on a train and indeed they explain they are doing a special emission from an old train. They show a little bit more of their surroundings and then announce some guest who comes in from another wagon. I say the train should be called the lusitano express as in orient express but from Portugal. I go to the toilet and then go with dad to some movie festival. The film we go see is playing at a small cinema in a mall. My dad acts weird when we get there and then he whispers that I have peed my pants. I feel embarrassed, but hide it with my shoulder bag. So I go all the way down to the basement, where the restrooms are. I clean up the best I can and then we go watch the movie. It's a documentary about this poor simple man with some mental problems who is a good christian and does nice things. But then it shifts and he is acting strange, gathering certain items secretly. Then he goes into some neighborhood with buildings that look like my mom's apartment building,but a bit more recent and upgraded. We don't understand what he is doing until flames erupt around the base of a couple buildings and he runs away. Some people in the buildings notice the flames or the burnt smell and warn all the residents, who manage to get out. Some are fighting the fire the way they can, with buckets of water, blankets, etc. The firefighters arrive and they control the fire, but there is considerable damage to some apartments, especially on ground floor. Then we notice the residents are all middle eastern refugees and we watch as they start talking to each other, offering support. Some older man learns that a younger man from Syria has been going through difficulties and says he does not eat breakfast as he can't afford all meals. The older man is outraged and says out loud to everyone else that this can't be and that the other man should have asked for their help and they would have helped him have breakfast everyday. It is so heartwarming to see their sense of community in contrast with the hate of the other guy we thought was a good person at first. Then the documentary shifts to scenes from the kind man when he was still in his country. There is a scene in which he improvises a raft to go to a small bank of land in the middle of a river, looking for something in the middle of rubble and trash. Turns out it was a kitty who was crying in pain, looking pretty bad, with burns and lack of hair throughout the body. He rescues her and brings her along. The kitty is now beautiful and pampered. I am about to cry but I hold my tears. Then some jerk sitting to my right side, starts complaining out loud about his feet hurting, because of his shoes and he seems annoyed the film didn't end already as he needs some relief. I feel like yelling "just take your shoes off" but I keep calm and ignore. The problem is that random dudes from nearby rows and seats also start making comments about the length of the film and expressing sympathy for the hurt feet guy and it's becoming too disruptive. Fortunately someone shushes most of them. I just need to turn to a guy to my left who says no one has the right to shush him in a free country. I tell him to shut up. Meanwhile the movie ends and lights are back on and the guy seems like he wants to apologize to me, which makes me let down the guard. But then he tries to hug and kiss me as if that's ok and I push him back. He insists on kissing me so I defend myself by making him trip backwards to the ground. But the guy is very tall and his head and neck hit the armrest of a seat and he almost breaks his neck. I feel deeply concerned by his well being but don't show weakness and pretend it was on purpose. I say "that's your punishment and if you don't start respecting women and other people in general, next time I'll really kill you."
I've had a really bad recall the past days. Pretty frustrating. I'm by Håkanssons' house and I'm vacuum-cleaning the floor in the room to the left of the entrance. John is also cleaning upstairs. A big high tech screen is showing up on the wall and I see a brain hologram in neon green color in darker shades. A voice is telling me that she is going to explain why I hear voices in my dreams. The two brain-halves move apart and I hear a certain frequency (Not certain). She tells me that I can experience sounds because of how the brain-halves move apart and together. The brain-halves move together and stand next to each other but on the wrong sides. There is a new hologram head to the left. I'm on a train with dad. I'm wearing a towel but I'm pretty much naked. I look around and see some persons to my right from last year's upper class in nature. They are half naked too. I'm wearing some kind of underwear but I'm feeling exposed either way.
2/24/20 I am in a dinosaur park with friends and family. While walking through a field we see what appears to be a dinosaur trap laid out on the ground, with weighted wires going into the trees, there are toy mini dinosaurs and torn up sheets in the bed of a larger metal frame. We hear kittens meowing from inside but cannot see anything. The park is very beautiful with large prehistoric trees and shrubbery all around. My cat is running around unleashed and I gather she has wandered too far. Suddenly a large trex with purple and orange colouring starts chasing us from across the field, it's roar echoing our innards. I call my cat loudly and she runs towards us just barely in front of the rex. She makes it to me while we are running and I scoop her up to run towards the treeline. I tell my family we need to get in the dense folliage to escape. We barely make it to safety as the rex tramples the trees behind us. We begin to walk down a path, we tell a worker about the rex we see, but they are also a dinosaur and smile with big teeth. We are now in a period based town. Everyone wears decorated corsets and top hats. But there is still a dark like and partially gothic tone. I opt for a train ride and leave my family behind in the town to look around and shop. The train is mainly populated by witches and druids. They are all dressed period, but with pagan garb and accessories. I befriend a girl who is quite short with almond eyes and brunette short hair. She is coy and playful while also being witty and fiercely forward. We get closer and she reminds me she has a boyfriend regularly, it doesn't phase me in the least as I can tell she doesn't care. He seems like some ringleader with small dreads and bright blue contact eyes who is never around her. I gather she is a vampire of sorts, pale skin, morose demeanour yet predatory in her desires. We venture around the train between the different ornate cars from time to time. Taking in the sights of the passing countryside, sharing meals, and playing games. We spend hours laying in bed remembering our lives and gently caressing each other, nothing sexual, just sensually emotive. She tells me she doesn't like what happens to her at night. Unphased at thinking she is a vampire I ask is it because her teeth get longer? I then tell her I always found the taste of blood to be unquenching. To let her know I am unbothered by her condition, and can relate to her. She hardly looks at me but I know she is sad for some reason. We form a strong bond on the trip, perhaps 2 days have elapsed and the journey is coming to a head. She sits in a booth table along one of the carriages. There is suddenly a great drama stirring the passengers. The people of the car are now united against me. They threaten me with dark magic. I tell them to do their worst as I am unafraid. At once a dozen of them put out their hands and begin making noises with their mouths like they are casting spells. Nothing happens and I shout they are all made up. The train has stopped at a gift shop town with many rooms to purchase trinkets and accessories. I step out on the platform as the witches are still trying to curse me. I outstretch my hand and shout with strong forward intention "Now That Is Enough!" A bright light flashes engulfing the entire area. As the senses return, it seems the dark gothic vibe of the people in the car has been lifted. Some people file out of the train with completely white eyes, they are pale and nude, almost stupified. The dozen or so who were dark are now stripped barren and pale. I ask someone on the platform what just happened. She tells me that they saw their real leader and were blinded by the truth of it. I ask who they saw. She points to the woman standing next to me. Who is middle aged and still wearing period dress. She smiles and looks at me knowingly. I tell her it is up to her to be good now. She nods in approval and promises to guide in positivity instead of darkness. I return to the train for the journey back and walk from car to car looking for my companion I spent the trip with. She is no longer in the booth she was sitting in before. I wonder if the darkness lifting has affected her at all. I see her 'boyfriend' sitting off in a corner with some friends. He speaks in normal modern dialect and I gather his curse has been lifted as well, he is no leader and remembers nothing of his previous dark personality. I talk to him briefly and he doesn't recognize me. I begin frantically going from carriage to carriage looking for her. She really is nowhere to be seen, I didn't see her get off the train and it doesn't make sense she wouldn't be traveling back. It begins to occur to me I may never see her again. A great grief overcomes me as I slump into the nearest chair, just staring into nothingness while I feel my eyes swell. It can't be I think. I knew she had feelings for me. I felt them. I remember the feeling of her skin. Her smile. The sweet smell of her hair. I sit in silence the entire return journey. People merrily chat around me as the mood is now lighter and people laugh while they tell stories of their adventure. I talk to no one. When we arrive at our destination back where we began, everyone unloads and files into a large brightly lit dining hall, it is period decorated and fancy with many carved fixtures in the walls and chandeliers. I see my family come through large ornate glass doors into the hall to join me. I am sullen and depressed from losing my companion. We all sit at a large round table with white linens and fancy gold place settings. They are still dressed in period clothes holding accessories they picked up in their own respective adventure. They ask me what's wrong. I tell them I am exhausted, it was a 2 day train journey and I just don't feel well. They are concerned but allow me my space as I seem disengaged. I sit calmly not facing the stage, my eyes still heavy and glistening as I fight the nostalgia of my time with her. Just then a worker walks onto the stage and gets everyone's attention. He thanks all of us for our participation and hopes we all enjoyed our journey on the express adventure. People cheer. He then says he'd like to introduce us to the one who made everything possible. Please give a round of applause everyone to our very own, Brand new Model 2 Android! People cheer louder and whistles can be heard. I turn around to look and see her. Out of period dress with a skin tight bodysuit and hair styled even shorter to her head. It was her. The truth of it hits me like a pile of bricks. I see her eyes avoiding me in the crowd as she glances around the room. Barely smiling she acknowledges the recognition in a sheepish manner. She won't even look at me. I am in complete disbelief. How could I not have known? I stare wantingly but realize everything I knew wasn't even real. The dream fades as I watch her face and the applause becomes quieter and quieter.
20th February 2021 Dream: Me and H are a nightclub which we own in the dream. It's like an expanded and stripped out version of our kitchen. It's a shady place. Though we don't allow drug dealing, it still happens, some people even talk openly about it in front of us. The lighting is moody; a mauve or red-like ambience. We have just recently installed some kind of small curtain things around these arcade console things lining the walls of the club. The place is very busy, packed pretty much. I recall seeing people were playing WoW in some form on these arcades, the curtains were supposed to provide a bit of extra privacy at a glance, but they didn't drape very far down, so someone standing up would mostly have the upper half of the screen blocked from their view. Eventually me and H cease to exist and it becomes more like I'm watching something I think. There are still two club owners, now they are a couple too, a tall and muscled man and a woman, somewhat Arabic in look. Both could be from my native country. Some person they talk to at one point who is using one of the arcades, reveals something important about gossip that's going around? This person asks the wife if she is wearing the new... whatever it's called in the dream, but it's slang for a skirt-type of clothing which is now considered to be sexy and naughtywear. More stuff happens at the club but I don't recall it. (recall gap) Then like I'm watching a dramatised documentary of some kind, there's an implicit feel of it being in some place like Jerusalem or Russia. I see backstreet, vacant type of places. Small bits of life for people of different religious backgrounds are shown. It's implied that in groups, sometimes people bully single individuals of other groups, despite the fact that this place is supposed to be a place for all to come together. I recall a scene where this Catholic boy is being chased away by some Orthodox teens or something. Fragment: An earlier dream. In a subway, me and a large organised group of individuals, part of some stealth ops type of thing and with appropriate gear. We are boarding a train and I remember we go through tunnels. Recall is too vague for details though.
24th January 2021 Fragment: (at the end of a long segment about family) Uncle M mentions "Bucaccus"; it is apparently some kind of organ, gland or hormone? He apparently had many issues with it when he was my age and suggested I get it looked at. I remember previously in the dream I had been having some kind of tantrum, throwing things. I apologised to my uncle and someone else there, an old woman? Fragment: Waiting for a train in a subway station. I'm wearing one of those new and modern drawing gloves on my right hand. I'm writing some kind of story on the palm of that glove on my right hand. I don't make notice of the fact that I was using my left hand to do so. The train eventually arrives and I get in; then when I get out somewhere else, I find that my little story has rubbed off completely and is gone and I try to remember what I had written. Fragment: Looking at some profiles on an art site. One of these profiles has thirteen thousand people who are basically subscribed to it. Part of the page seems odd and the dominant layout colour is incorrect to what it should be in waking life, it's a deep blue in the dream. As I scroll down I find extra sections, like multiple featured text posts with commenting areas of their own. There's also some section labelled "high-profile banned/blacklisted users". I look through this section, which only has a dozen of usernames, and find that some usernames start similar to mine but mine isn't on the list, I feel some sort of relief? This person's profile has a lot of issues with spamming? Fragment: I'm in my old home, my room. I'm visiting. I am upset for some reason? And then there's some kind of hybrid species woman; she's part octopus and she's sad for some reason. Her mom is here too and has the same features, but her mom has a blue tinge and she has a pink-ish tinge. In any case, I try to comfort her, but she is resistant to any comfort I try to offer. I remember at one point we touch one another a bit, half sensually, half not, like a strange dance? I am curious about the tentacles and she lets me touch them. This implies some trust on her part, I feel. The suckers nip on my skin but much less harshly than I expected; I feel that she has control over this and has made it so as to not hurt me. Her mother says something about how she could just cut off her tentacles if she's that sad (comes across as half-serious/half-sarcastic) and that they'll grow back. Her mother warns her however, that it will take months to regrow them and that during sleep she'll be waking up to what feels like every five minutes and bleeding or something. I tell her that she should do no such thing. I feel the mother's suggestion was too serious and that it would cause so much more damage than good. Notes: - The last fragment feels strangely ironic considering how I am feeling right now about something. - The tentacles had ends that were more squid-like than octopus-like, come to think of it. - I think it's been a while now since I dreamt of any subways or trains. It had also been a while since I dreamt about a website, specifically an art one.
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