D₁-I was at my sisters TKD school watching people break cement plates (with their fingertips, heel kicks, etc.) whenever I decided it looked fun so I started screwing around and breaking some. There was this metal wall with parts of it had hollow cement plates so you could work on accuracy, thinking it'd be interesting to see if I could actually break the cement plates I started fingertip thrusting and bladder striking the plates out of their socket. The plates wouldn't break but would fly out and spin like crazy in the air. My sisters instructor asked me if I wanted to actually go to the class and I was feeling happy-go-lucky so I agreed. He started showing me how to stretch for a 180° round kick. He kept repeating, slow and steady, slow and steady. Dream skip D₂-I visited a church I went to as a child and started going to the youth group regularly (even though I'm in college). My friend's brother, Jacob, started to sit beside me whenever I came. One day (mind you this is all a dream) a girl started hanging all over him before our bible session started and he looked over at me with a *please help me she won't get off* kinda look. Feelin bad for the guy I walked over and said," Oh hey mind if I borrow him for a bit, his boyfriend texted me the other day and you know how catty he can get if he's given the silent treatment for too long." The girl scrunched her face up into the ugliest, snobbiest look a person could possibly make and got up out of his lap (she had previously straddled him). Jacob's face was bright pink the whole time.
Updated 04-07-2016 at 06:31 AM by 89995
D₁- I am at my TKD school and I ask to keep/make a copy of my hours sheet for my blue collar. The instructor asks,"Why!' I just kinda shrug and reply,"I want to keep up with my hours at home." As I take my freesparring gear home, everyone keeps staring at me. D₂- One of my really good friends,chelsea, comes rushing towards me babbling about some psychic she saw. Stating that the psychic said I have scepticism, then the psychic shows up and starts to lecture us on our health.
In my dream my sister's Tae-Kwon Do instructor (a master) told my instructor (a fourth degree) that I was to teach and train under him from now on. An my instructor was NOT happy. He gave me this really irritated look and I just kinda shrugged and followed my sister's instructor out the door of my original Tae-Kwon Do school
Sparring I meet up with an old friend from high school for the first time in a while. I pretend to do some Tae Kwon Do moves at him, and suddenly he counterattacks while saying some words that I recognize from the dojang. "Where did you get those words??" I ask incredulously. He must have taken up TKD! We continue sparring for a little while. I am reminded of something my instructor once said: "Think of sparring as a way of saying hi to your partner." Confidence Someone is supposedly fated to slay a terrible dragon. But the person is a staunch supporter of free will, and hence has trouble believing in something like fate. So ze is very unconfident about the prospect of fighting this dragon, which clearly hurts zir chances of succeeding. [I don't recall whether this person was me, or somebody else.]
I Quit (8:00) I'm at a sports club, where we're doing our warm-up workout outside. The current exercise involves teams of three. We lock arms in a specific way, then take turns trying to lift the people on our left and right using our core muscles. I'm the last person in our group to do it, so I wasn't expecting it to be as hard as it is. I try it once--try it twice--and then give up. With hardly a goodbye, I walk back towards the locker room to change and go home. On the way is a swimming pool, and I accidentally trip and fall into it. At the last moment I remember that my shoes are muddy, and I hook my legs over the side of the pool so I'm hanging upside down from the edge. That way, the water stays clean. After I pull myself back out, the club's head instructor is standing on the other side of the pool, looking at me. He commends me for my civic responsibility in keeping the mud out of the water, and as a reward, he says he's willing to overlook my embarrassing decision to quit the club. "We're back together," he says, and it's clear he's enjoying the double entendre. This guy seems kind of like a sleaze-bag, and I don't think I want back into the club. I throw an apple core at him and go into the locker room. Inside, there are some students practicing Apparition. It makes me sorry to realize I'll never get a chance to learn it, now. The trick has something to do with having complete faith that when you turn around, you'll be looking at the new location; I never quite got the hang of it. Oh well. I look over towards the secret door, which I also never figured out how to open. Then I see there's some kind of locking mechanism in the upper right corner. It's moving around, which must mean someone is trying to come through the door. Probably the head instructor trying to talk to me again. Indeed, it is him. As soon as the door opens, we start fighting. It's a mix of Tae Kwon Do sparring and a knife fight. We end up back outside, advancing and retreating and circling around one another. I'm rather proud of myself for being able to deflect all of his attacks. I am joined by a team of fighters on roller blades. They are part of a resistance group that has an ongoing feud with the sports club. Sensing my opportunity to cut ties with this place, I go with them when they leave.
Secret Santa (5:37) My RH calls me into her office to receive my assignment for our house's secret santa this year. I also overhear the person before me getting her assignment, which has something to do with a basketball team. Apparently she really hates this team, because she almost starts shouting at the RH in her annoyance at this assignment. I go back outside, where there's a party going on. My secret santa assignment walks past with a group of her friends, and they drag me over to where people are dancing. I'm still no good at "party dancing," though, so I'm not sure what to do with myself. I just stand there awkwardly amid all the flailing arms. Then I notice some volunteers trying to get through the dance floor carrying trays of drinks. I try to move out of the way for them, but I know that very few other people will. I notice that I'm not wearing any pants, just briefs and an extra-long T-shirt. Well, if no one's bothered by it, then I guess I won't bother to change. It's kind of fun going around like this. Someone hands me a cup, telling me there's a really delicious new drink in it. I try it, and it's pretty good. Looking over at the bar, I see the bottle that it came out of. It's marked "5% alc/vol." Now I think back on it, the drink did taste like there was alcohol in it. Green Soccer Ball I'm walking along a hallway with a group of people, languidly dribbling a luminescent green soccer ball. The narration tells me that it is a ball of Nutella, and it belongs to one of the guys walking nearby, the leader of the group. We go into a big room with rows of shelves, and the rest of the group starts passing the ball among themselves, trying to keep the ball's owner from getting it back. But this isn't just friendly teasing, it's malicious. Round about this time, I know I'm dreaming, but I try just to focus on what's going on around me, so that I don't leave the dream. Once, the ball rolls up to a shelf near the ball's owner, but he's standing on the other side of the shelf. Using magic powers, he zaps the ball with a bolt of lightning, and it disappears and reappears next to him. Three people start running towards him to get the ball back, but he zaps them all simultaneously, and they fly backwards to the end of the room. Then he turns to me. To him, I know, I'm with the other people. But somehow he's willing to give me more of a chance, maybe because I respect him. (By the way, I'm a girl right now.) He warns me that he's about to zap me. Then he shoots the bolt of lightning, and I conjure a shield in front of me, in the form of a fuzzy ball of white light. The shield absorbs the lightning. He tries again, and I block it again. I guess he's impressed, and we start a conversation. But the other guys in the room are all watching us. Suddenly grinning, the guy walks up to me and takes both of my hands in his, one in each. I'm confused until I realize that he means to teleport us somewhere more private. The destination is a camp of soldiers on the eastern edge of Skyrim. Hank Dreams (9:11) I'm in a museum, learning about Hank Green's approach to lucid dreaming. There are several different tiers to it, and Hank warns people against trying the most vivid version without lots of practice. Personally, I think he's just being jealous about his ability to do that version, but whatever. The tour group enters a small movie theater, where we'll watch a video that has something to do with the dangerous effects of the most vivid version, which Hank calls a "Hank Dream." The video starts with Hank lying in a bed, sleep-talking to Marilyn Monroe. Some of his friends are standing around the bed, of course, including the one videotaping the whole thing. It's all in black and white. After a minute, Hank says, "Marilyn, stop. Stop! I'm already married," and everyone in the movie theater laughs. Then Hank starts sleepwalking as though blind, groping around the room, trying to find someone. The people around the bed back up, and suddenly I realize what is about to happen. "Oh, fuck," I say, jumping out of my seat and trying to get away from the movie screen. Hank stumbles after me, presumably intending to do to me whatever he had been about to do to "Marilyn." Drawing on my tae kwon do, I assume a back stance with my hands in double shooto position, preparing to fend him off. John Green laughs and explains the rest of the story: "Eventually she [Hank] gets so mad that she poops at you and storms off, and you LOSE. Except you hit her enough that after a moment she goes like this:" From a kneeling position, he slowly widens his eyes and straightens his back in an expression of surprise, then falls over backwards, apparently unconscious. It's all very comedic. Frags: '"who are you?" violin player' (7:05)
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