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Awake/explanation
Normal dream
Semi-lucid dream
Lucid dream

This is a collection of 3 dreams. This is the first attempt I've made to become lucid in several years, and it was successful! But not through the method I was trying.

Sometime before 2:30 AM
I dreamed that I was an official content censor for some kind of fascist regime, but even as an editor of content was victim to extreme regulations. I worked in an open office surrounded by other workers and was encouraged not to move from my post or stop working. I remember trying to move unsuccessfully a few times but only small bits of this dream stayed with me.

2:30-4:45 AM
I dreamed that my school had a 'software hit-list' of things they wanted coded for them (I'm a CS major) and one of these was a more secure meeting method. Someone had coded this and randomly instated me as a moderator because I was a CS major, and I realized that all CS majors were given such honors for reasons unclear (we are not generally known for our people skills, lol). Anyway, I hopped on a bus, the physical representation of this new forum for students of my university. I also decided that if I was a moderator, I'd try to be a good moderator, and make sure nobody was doing anything wrong. So I scoped out the area around me.

Next to me a guy was sitting in a trench coat and sunglasses, and I tried to look past him to see what was on his other side without bothering him. There was just a window, and in the end he did see me trying to look around him and gave me a funny look, so I apologized and looked forwards again. I sorta realized in that moment that I was being stupid trying to moderate just because it was written on my name, and started behaving normally riding the bus again.

It gets a bit fuzzy here, but I recall a friend from high-school being on the bus, and lying in the floor. I woke up again later.

4:45 AM-7:30 AM
And here's the meat, the lucid dream. I woke up, used the restroom (I had drunk a glass of water so that I would wake up in the middle of the night), laid down again, meditated for a few minutes while counting my breaths. When I lost count I rolled on my side and began counting my breaths again, trying to fall asleep. And then I did fall asleep! But not lucid.

I can't remember this dream back all the way, but the first thing I remember was playing baseball with a bunch of kids. I guess I was a kid too, I'm not really sure. At one point, we were playing on an abandoned lot, and the pitcher's mound was in the middle of a partially constructed scaffolding (inconvenient), and I was pitching. Batting was a girl who I went to high-school with who was well known for throwing hissy fits when things didn't go her way (no offense to her, I'm sure she's more adult now, but we were all probably 12 or 13 in this dream...). She was indeed throwing such a hissy fit because I was pitching too fast at her. So I lobbed one slowly to let her have her way.

She immediately smacked it and sent it flying into the scaffolding I was standing in, and I picked it up and tried to turn to look to throw it to first base, but I couldn't see first base. I then turned and saw second base was also obstructed, so I turned some more and threw it to someone who was running up from near third base. Of course, when I threw it to him, he missed it, I felt silly for throwing it too hard, and he turned and ran after it. Within those precious moments, two opposing runners had run up to my scaffolding and were standing at the edge yelling at me. I turned to look at them and hear what they were saying, which was that they were complaining that 1st base was a pit, so they had run to the pitcher's mound instead, and that should count as a home-run.

I'm not sure why I was allowed to decide but I shook my head yes and agreed, and the game was over (I guess they were already ahead). Soon, everyone congregated around the pitcher's mound/scaffolding and we started discussing that playing baseball here sucked (gee whiz). I suggested, from nowhere, that nearby was a series of under-construction houses where nobody lived, that was sure to have some open air nobody was using that we could play. It occurred to me we might accidentally break some windows or something, but I secretly figured we could probably get the heck out of there without getting caught if so (sorry construction workers, I was a kid in this dream, I swear!).

So off we set into this nearby construction area, and me and one other fairly small kid who couldn't have been more than 8 ended up going into a nearby house, and walking around inside, because nobody was there to stop us. As we were walking around looking I suddenly made a joking comment that the house was so empty, it almost seemed like a dream...

And the saying of such a thing is one of my well-known triggers (anytime something seems like a dream in real life, I tend to reality check reflexively just as a habit because I have said it in dreams many times and woke up frustrated I didn't become lucid). I reached up and plugged my nose and blew air through, and found I could breathe. Ta-da! My first night back at lucid dreaming a success, I felt pretty proud of myself and thought back to posting on Dreamviews the night before. I remembered reading an article about lucid dreaming to hype myself up and them talking about how realistic your hands are, so I looked down at them.

Then I set out after my small friend who was with me, and told him I was having a lucid dream! He looked at me like there was a giant spider on my head and began fast-walking away, so I walked after him saying, "No, really, look!" and tried to summon a baseball from thin air to show him. I tried several times, but my dream control has always been a bit wonky, and I couldn't get it to happen. I tried looking away from my hands and looking back. I tried closing my eyes and thinking "BASEBALL" (lol) and opening them and looking back, and nothing. Soon me and the kid were outside of the house standing in the grass, and I still didn't have a baseball. He looked pretty skeptical, and I suddenly feared me losing my lucidity to this goal of getting a baseball, so I said, "aw nevermind," and walked away from him.

Still marveling at all the weird wrinkly detail of my palms, I walked off towards the nearby woods. As I was walking along, the whole group of children I had been playing baseball with came to where we were and began asking if I had found a place to play baseball. I told them I wasn't looking anymore, really, but they could probably play somewhere near here if they still wanted to. They set off into the woods also (for some reason) so I followed them nearby, but quickly got distracted by a humongous ravine going down hundreds of feet, and instantly was taken with doing what I always do in lucid dreams: jumping off stuff and trying to fly.

I jumped off the edge into this enormous canyon and hovered my way down with my arms out, but as I stuck my arms out I was suddenly bothered by the feeling of my sheet on my bed (lol) and the feeling that it was like a wall blocking me from sticking my arm out all the way. This bothered me and also again, worried me I was waking up, so I pulled my arms in-front of me in more of a Superman position instead. I alighted down on a giant metal tower, crawling with futuristic soldiers.

My lucidity started to degrade a little here. I was no longer doing anything I wanted but getting sucked into the current of the dream, while aware I was dreaming somewhat.

These soldiers all began shooting at me, and, aware that I was dreaming, I stood my ground to see what they were shooting. As if in slow-motion, the shots came as a multitude of lasers, followed by a few canisters that looked like grenades. I started smacking these canisters back, and hitting various things on top of the tower and destroying them, eventually succeeding in knocking the soldiers off the tower I was on. Then a large docking bay door opened on the side of the canyon and I was being shot at once again. I once again tried hitting or grabbing and throwing the canisters, but they were far too far away (easily 100 meters). I settled on another plan, which was to forcefully punch parts of the tower towards that loading bay (ambitious).

And of course, as with my dream control, I punched them so lightly they simply limply fell off the tower. I tried harder, and harder, and soon was greeted with a (phony) percentage number indicating my percentage of full power that I was using (which I took for a real measurement, hence why I marked this lowered lucidity). I could only get this number to around 20%, which launched the things I was hitting a decent ways but not quite there. I heard someone call me a fool, and looked to my left to find, who else: Darth Vader, sitting in a chair.

I don't even really like Star Wars which makes this stranger, but anyway, he told me that I would never summon my full control in such a way. Suddenly finding myself curious at what he had to say, I think my lucidity started to come back up here.

I figured, who worse to steer me wrong than Darth Vader in a dream. But at the same time, maybe he would say something useful, so I urged him to continue and sat down next to him. He spoke cliches, telling me that I should 'let my emotions rule me,' and 'use my anger to summon my full power'. I nodded amicably and then noticed that I was now sitting beside him in a flying vehicle. In an act of defiance towards Mr. Vader but also in the interest of trying what he said, I screamed at the top of my lungs (haha) while grabbing the side of the car and pushing, and surely enough, I ripped off the entire right side of the car and part of the roof, and dropped it as we flew along. He didn't really say anything-- he didn't seem threatened but rather like I was acting like a child, and I felt mildly embarrassed (again, haha).

We soon rolled up at a small garage that I felt I recognized from another dream, and I simultaneously felt the dream was coming to an end. It was as if this was a final destination for me, and I could tell this by looking at it. I don't recall what the sign said fully, but I do recall it used a nickname of mine people have given me ("Loaf" a missaying of Life), and I looked around and at Darth Vader again. He didn't have much else to say, so I thanked him for his advice and said maybe I'd use it again later. Then I hopped out of the car and walked up to the shack, and as I was in the process of doing so...

My eyes opened and I hopped out of bed to get my coffee and write up this journal!

First dream

It was a late morning. I was in a cottage deep within a forest. I was wearing my forestry uniform and felt a few years older. There was a man in late thirties, wearing a gray suit. He had dark hair. We were talking, I had different voice.

Man: You were working in these forests?
I: Yes, I was a forester over there.

*I wandered the room for a while, the man continued.*

Man: A forester?
I: Yeah, though of a lower rank.

False awakening

I woke up in my bed. I heard strange ringing and was really annoyed at the TV. I thought that I really should turn it down, but it wasn't even turned on! As I closed my eyes, I saw some horrifying ghostly faces and a voice telling that ghosts are real and want to get us all.

Second dream

Late, cold evening. With group of random people we entered a mansion of some general who left it free for his son this night. One of the rooms was under renovation, with furniture put in group in the midlle of it. Rest of the house was arranged as a wealthy, modern mansion with really expensive furniture. Other people - they were all teenagers, were taking drugs and demolishing everything around them. What's more, they closed the doors to second floor and lost the key, so I had to find some other way out. They were really ruining the building, setting fire in one of the rooms, breaking furniture and taking more and more drugs. Luckily they weren't aggressive. I tried to use furniture to break a window and make myself a rope to get out.

Suddenly I found myself outside, it was a warm early evening. It was at a shore of some lake, close to some warehouse with docks. I entered it and saw two girls - one taller with dark, long hair and one smaller with red, shorter hair. Both had pale complexion and were wearing some kind of robes. I heard a crying baby, then parents of those girls appeared. The tall girl told them that she and another boy was kidnapped by the smaller girl. But then a sudden thunder striked, and nobody believed her. Suddenly an assassin jumped down on a bungee and caught her, jumping with her back to a rooftop.

I dreamed about 3 planets. One was Earth and one was Mars, maybe the third was actually the moon? Anyway, Mars and another one were revolving around Earth, and they all had personalities (which I don't remember anything about) and were having some kind of conversation that I don't recall. Except maybe Mars was jealous of something?

Then I dreamed about... a house that only had a living room and kitchen... and there was an underground part to it, like a basement. The basement was dark and full of buried zombies. They were marked by little circular markers on the floor that were digital markers, and you could navigate through them with something that looked like a mouse pointer cruising on the surface of the ground. But if you got too close to or hit one of the markers, then the zombies would all awaken, and you'd have to fight all of them at once. Some other person (I don't recall what they looked like or sounded like, or if they even had a physical appearance at all) was telling me that he wasn't as good at it as I was. I tried to cruise between two points, but it woke the zombies up. Then, a team of people - young people, late teens or early twenties - who were sort of like X-men all ran into the basement to fight the zombies. They were all doing this at the behest of an old scientist (no, nothing like Prof. X) who looked a lot like a cross between Bill Nye and Ian McKellen, except much skinnier, and he was dressed in kind of a grey tweed suit...

Anyway, once the zombies were all defeated, he started to construct an underground complex beneath the house where he would house everybody. Constructing it was kind of like doing so in The Sims 3. Anyway, it was all dark down there, so he added a bunch of lights, and then in the dining hall he started adding fake windows that had lights behind them so it looked like fake sunlight, and then some HD screens that projected pictures of outdoors, so the whole place felt less "underground" and cooped up, and more like a regular above-ground dining room. I recall that it worked out pretty well.

Then suddenly, there were pigeons everywhere. Just tons of them. And he had a favorite pigeon that did some sort of special thing (I don't remember what) and was super useful. It looked just like a regular gray pigeon. He wanted to breed more of them, because of how super useful this particular pigeon was.

Then I was standing on the edge of a boat... or maybe a dock... but there was a metal railing. And he had created a new kind of shoe that allowed him to walk on water, as long as he walked very carefully and in a certain way, and he was explaining how revolutionary it was even though I completely understood how important it was to be able to walk on water. I began to think about the possiblities (such as building cities on water) but also how annoying it would be to misstep and suddenly fall into the water.

And then I was waiting for a bus. I wanted to go to some kind of concert. I think it was for The Village People. I'd asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go, and he said no, which actually kind of surprised me because I thought he loved them. But I decided to go on my own, even though I wasn't sure if there were still going to be tickets available when I got there. Except that the bus I needed to catch disappeared as soon as it pulled up. I remember the bus driver was a lady with short curly hair. I don't remember what she said to me. But suddenly the bus was missing, and I was irritated because I had to wait for the next bus. So the bus pulled up (it was bus 15) and then it disappeared AGAIN. At this point, I was really starting to reconsider going to this concert, especially since I kind of didn't want to go anyway because my boyfriend wasn't coming with me. So I didn't think I'd enjoy it very much, and I'd be pissed if I got there and there were no tickets.

So while I was waiting, this young-ish woman... late teens/early 20s... started chatting with me, and all she wanted to talk about was some kind of manga/comic book called something like UltraGoth, and which had two of the most annoying main characters I've ever encountered. And it was way overdone, very "buckles and zippers everywhere", and both of them were supposed to be angels or something, and they were involved in a turf war, and one of them was supposed to be something like the king of heaven and the other one hated him. The first guy had super spiky ridiculous looking hair and was shorter. The second one had long hair and was arguably more of an asshole, but not by much. And each issue was just them yelling at each other and having ridiculous battles, Dragon Ball Z style, along with some extremely melodramatic drama thrown in.

Anyway, she REALLY LOVED THIS COMIC and made me read through an entire issue with her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I suffered through it and pretended that I thought it was an awesome comic book even though it was stupid as hell.

Dream - Lucid

I was working at the coffee shop again, but it was much different. The only thing that was the same was that I had the same boss. It was sometime early in the morning.

I had to fill in this tray with whatever the side item of the day was. There were things on it like potato salad, deli mustard salad (wut), etc. I had to make it so people who wanted to take some could scoop it out of the tray. There was a sheet that said which day got which side. There was another sheet that was laminated that had a description of the meal of the day. The place where the side went was blank, and was meant to be written in Expo marker each day, then erased at the end of the day so the new side could be written in the next day.

I went to go look at which side item was the side of the day, and it was deli mustard salad, but mustard was spelled weird, like "mustrd". I used a small ice cream scoop to scoop the portions out onto the tray. It looked like chicken salad. I scooped the mustard salad out into a line on the tray. The first scoops I did were kind of small, so I made the last ones bigger. I could only fit about ten scoops on the tray. I didn't feel like that was enough, and some of the scoops started to blob into one another. I imagined people taking the scoops of mustard salad.

Then, something about being in the shower at the house I grew up in with this girl I met at my old job named Brittani. I was naked, but she had underwear on.

~

I was at a local go-kart/fun park. I was inside the building, wanting to get a drink. I looked in a drink cooler, and saw "Diet Mountain Dew Sprite". The bottle was green, like a Sprite bottle. I also saw a regular Sprite, which I picked up to get, but changed my mind and put it back. Ok, the Diet Mountain Dew Sprite sounds good (in IWL, I rarely drink sodas. I never go out of my way to buy them). I took a bottle and went to check out. There was a teenage girl at the check out. I had to either get something else or go look in the cooler, but I put the drink down at the counter and then come back. My drink was gone when I got back, and I couldn't find it. I looked all over the counter. I then saw it had been placed under the counter and opened by the check out girl. I said something to her about it. I don't remember her response. I went to go get a new one. I remember drinking some. It tasted like Sprite. I had really been craving it. I had the taste in my mouth throughout this dream.

I don't remember what happened next, but the next thing I do remember is walking out in the parking lot, searching for my car. It was nighttime. I could not find it for the life of me. I went back inside, and stopped at the cooler to get another Diet Mountain Dew Sprite. I noticed on the tags in the cooler that they were buy one get one free. But I also noticed that they were all gone. The employees had them behind the counter, saving them for some sort of party they were having later. I saw that they all were labeled with names for the employees. I felt that this wasn't very good for their customers, especially since I also noticed that they had done that with many other drinks in the cooler. I thought to myself that I probably didn't need the drink anyway.

I ran into Jake at some point later. He worked there, apparently. I told him I couldn't find my car. I remember getting in his car with him, though his was different from the one I remember. It was a used white car, but nicer than his old used red car. He drove me to a different parking lot, and I found it again.

Except for I didn't really find it again. I zoned out or fell asleep or something, and it was, once again, gone. I went back in and found my husband's band's drummer, or someone who looked very similar. I remember being in a car with him also, but I remember him cradling me in his arms, or me sitting in his lap. This time, we went to a different parking lot from the last two. I don't remember if we found it this time or not. I had another zone-out moment in his car for awhile.

I went back in, and there was an older lady behind the counter with permed, curly brown hair. She was also kind of short. I knew she was the manager. They were shutting down early for this meeting/party, and I "remembered" that they did that often. I think I said something to her about them hoarding the drinks for themselves. I don't remember what she said, or if she even addressed my concern.

Jake was in there again somewhere. I don't remember much about that part.

I was given this tiny red kickball that had monkey arms, legs, and a tail. It was alive. Its purpose was to help me find my car. I described my car to it. I remember it bouncing from car to car, and speaking to me as it did so. It found a car that looked exactly like mine, but it said that the license plate's first three numbers were off. I looked at the license plate, and it said "PPPPPPP". Yup, not my car.

The monkeyball was explaining something to me as we walked through the parking lot. It seemed like dusk now instead of nighttime.

I was then woken up by my husband's alarm.

~

I know I dreamed of a couple of other things, one before the first dream and one after the last, but I can't remember them right now.

At the very top of an apartment building there is a duplex, with a rooftop lawn we share. I live in one, Michael Keaton lives in the other.

In the middle of the night, he is always up late working on things. Researching something. I catch glimpes of him in a chair or at a desk from the lawn. We do not speak. We make no contact of any kind. His office is filled with pitchers of his family but he lives alone.

One night there is a knock at the door, I open it to find a bunch of young punk looking kids dressed in all black. They want me out of the apartment. I told them no, they laughed. They looked like teenagers who would play vampire the masquarade. Because they are all actually vampires. (dream sign!!)

They set up shop in my place to keep an eye on Michael Keaton. Their leader seems obsessed with him, and knowing what he's researching. The others don't care about that. There is a power struggle going on in the group.

One evening, Michael Keaton travels for the night, and the vampire leader is able to sneak over into his home and snoop around. He finds two very interesting hidden rooms full of treasure and collections of books. All of it seems very important and cool. When he goes back to my apartment the others demand they kill the vampire hunter on the spot (I assume Michael Keaton.)

The leader tells them no, he is important. He's working on uncovering the King vampire. The other teenagers rebel and kill their leader and then kill Michael Keaton when he returns home. It's a nasty blood bath.

I read in the paper that there is an estate sale in the other half of my old duplex and I go to see what I had been missing since being forcably removed from my home.

His apartment was a shine to his family that had been murdered by the undead. For some reason a bunch of little shop keepers had set up in the secret rooms and were selling everything like it was a flee market. It made me very sad. All of the really cool books and treasure were gone. Sold to someone who wouldn't understand the importance of it. As I'm deciding if I should buy something or not, I over hear a conversation between merchants. One of them said "you know they didn't find a body."

- queue music -

I grab the fries from the sill. Outside was Denny in an old junker car. There were two to three teenage girls with him in the car. He scolded me for taking food that was not mine. The girls offer me a cigarette and they were also smoking weed and Denny did not seem to mind.

I may have been in the house of the “sanguine” but I am not aware of them, or afraid of them for that matter. There are three older girls and one young black girl with chubby cheeks, a pot belly and an oversized living room chair. She was talking to me about her self confidence and that she wasn't afraid to be fonfident when she talked to me. She seems more like she is chanting some sort of self-affirmation or chant, trying to convince herself. As she was speaking, her hands were holding up her torso and neck via the armrests. She was rotating her body counterclockwise almost every two seconds.

I attained lucidity only for a brief moment before losing my awareness. I attempted at making the dream more vivid by using a technique on the DreamViews forum, simply closing you eyes. I'll start from the beginning.

I was in an old, broken-down, haunted-looking house. We were filming a movie there using some cheap special effects and all of us (actors, camera-man and director alike) were teenagers, it just looked like we were having a bit of fun with a video-camera.

Then it came to me, I'm lucid! I think my sub-concious may have tried to throw me off because the next thing I know the director is telling me to do something and I immediately followed the order. Before I could be lost into the dream again I realized that no, I'm lucid and I can do anything I like.

The dream was a little fuzzy so I attempted to make it more vivid by closing my eyes and telling myself I wanted this dream to be more vivid. This had the reverse effect and I ended up becoming part of the dream once again, so now I know that method is not something I should be using again, or something to only come back to in a long time/with enough experience.

18.01.2012

The Dream where I was Asked to Teach Maths (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm an English teacher. In this dream I was sent to a high school and told I had to replace my housemate, who was a maths teacher and was himself a substitute for a Mr. Grec or Brac or something like that. He's a biology teacher IRL. The principal and some other guy walked me to the class of senior students and I told her that the last maths I'd done was in high school. She said I'd do fine, and as I was about to refuse some emergency came and the principal and the man had to leave. I was stuck in class because I didn't want to leave the students unsupervised.
I noticed their were "special" students, doing coloring or beadwork instead of actual schoolwork.

I was with a black girl and I started to suck her toes. She starts to press on my dick with her other foot. At some point she changes into my wife and I start to fondle her breasts. She turns over, face down on the bed.
I go downstairs to get a drink and a group of teenagers ring the bell. I ask them why they are here and they avoid my question. More kids come to the front yard and someone shows me a laptop with an old photo of myself. I become suspicious and start interrogating the kid. Somehow I discover that the laptop was owned by an old co-worker

I cannot recall how this dream starts but at some point I am in a small fixed wing aircraft that seats approximately ten people. The outside of the aircraft looks like a Cessna 195, except that the fuselage is slightly longer and it is painted completely white. The inside of the aircraft seems much bigger than the outside would allow and the seats and carpeting are a mix of light greys and blues. The first two rows of seats are arraged with the aisle between them, but the last row of seats sits oddly in the middle of the aisle. I am seated by myself on the farthest left seat on the back row. There are four other passengers on the plane. In the front row on the left side there is a man wearing a dark red t-shirt who has brown hair and is obese. In the front on the right are two passengers with short hair, one blond, the other redhead. In the middle row on the right side of the plane there is a woman with shoulder length blond hair. Despite the small size of the craft it has three crew members; the pilot, co-pilot, and a thin, blond stewardess.

There is a long metal pole positioned directly in front of my seat. It is the only such pole on the plane and it runs from the floor to the ceiling. Though I am strapped into my seat with a sturdy "X" shaped seatbeat, I lean forward and cling tightly to the pole. The aircraft is flying low over a lush green temperate forest, but swearving back and forth in wide arcs, like it is trying desperately to gain altitude but just cannot. The landscape below varies from thick forests and wide open fields filled with long grasses and wildflowers. Rolling hills are divided by sparking rivers and lakes. While the scenery is beautiful I cannot enjoy it because the erratic flying of the plane is making me very anxious. Everyone on the plane is silent and facing forward; there is no conversation. The other passengers do not look scared but rather bored. No one else seems bothered by the plane pitching and rolling but I am terrified that the plane is going to crash. I am thankful for the pole because it gives me something extra to cling to, even though it is completely useless in doing anything to protect me if the plane does go down.

The sun begins to set as the aircraft swerves wildly over a grassy hill, almost crashing into it, and then suddenly lands smoothly on a narrow landing strip on the other side. I could not get off the plane quick enough! There is a lake or river nearby and an abandoned and crumbling lighthouse. There are no other signs of civilization other than the old lighthouse and landing strip, but the pilot insists that we have stopped for the night to rest and refuel. Everybody sleeps on the plane except for me. I sleep under a tree on the hill that the plane almost crashed into before landing. When the next day comes it has suddenly changed from summer to autumn. The trees are now reds, oranges and yellows rather than green, and the grass has faded to dull shades of green and brown. The plane takes off and flies smoothly at first, but then begins to swerve and dip and arc all over the place again. I cannot remember how long flew for, but it was awhile and I am strapped tightly into my seat and clinging fearfully to the pole again. The crew and passengers are still silent and unaffected by the plane's erratic flying.

Suddenly I am on the ground watching the white plane fly away into the distance. It is no longer having trouble staying on course or gaining altitude. This makes me feel bad, like I was somehow causing the plane's troubles. I am standing in an open field on a hill and there is a thick forest nearby. It is still autumn and I know that I am in the middle of nowhere, but relieved to be on solid ground. I know that I am far away from civilization and for the most part will have to live off the land, but this does not upset me one bit. I makes me feel happy and at peace. I walk into the forest and after a while come to a small dark brown wooden cabin. I know this is my home and make myself comfortable inside.

The dream suddenly changes again and I am no longer in the dream but watching it from a third person perspective. The cabin in the autumn forest is still there but now it is a home (or school?) for troubled youth. The woman who lives there is a robust and beautiful black woman in her mid thirties. She is coarse and tough but genuinely cares for the youth under her charge. Love and wisdom permeate her entire being. There are several youth of mixed backgrounds and they are sitting around a square wooden table. I cannot recall any of the conversation but at one point a young man in a dark blue baseball cap becomes very upset and storms out of the cabin. The woman stands in the doorway and shouts his name: "Owen!!" but the youth keeps running. The end of the dream has this young man standing in a small clearing in the forest looking up at the blue sky.

It took place in a destroyed and/or abandoned cityscape. Imagine the post-Katrina devasation of New Orleans for an idea of what the cityscape in this dream looked like (minus the flooding), though it was not New Orleans or any city that I recognize in waking life. There was no electricity, running water or law authority in charge. Most building were abandoned or destroyed and most people who were still there travelled around in "packs" to survive.


The dream starts off with me travelling with a group of teenagers. I cannot remember any specific details about them except that there were more girls then boys and they were all younger than I (they were all about 14 or 15 years old where I was about 18 or 19). I did not really talk to any of them and they all seemed to just let me tag along because I made myself useful. We were going around and breaking into random houses looking for food or anything else we could use for survival.

In one house that we broke into we found a young girl of about six or seven years old in the livingroom. There was no one else in the house other than the girl. She had long black hair and was dressed in modern fashion. The female teens started talking to the little girl while I searched the house. The teen boys went to wait out in front of the house. After searching the other rooms in the house, I returned to the livingroom and was horrifyied to find the teen girls taking off their tops and playing with their breasts while encouraging the young girl to do the same.

I was disgusted and angry and I stormed out of the house and into the back yard. There I found that the back yard dipped directly into a deep, lush valley at a very steep angle. There were a few small concrete steps that led from the back door of the house to the egde of the valley (which was more like a cliff with lots of grass and flowers growing on it), and I stood on the last step and had a strong desire to jump. I wanted to fly away but I could not. The sky above the valley was clear and brilliant blue, and there was a soft refrshing breeze blowing. It was very unlike out front where the devastated city seemed eternally overcast and the air dead.

Then it finally clicked in my head to go back into the house and stop what was going on between the teens and the little girl. I went back in and found that some of the teen girls were searching the house for survival stuff while others sat around the livingroom, talking to each other and ignoring the little girl. The little girl was now dressed in an white, Victorian-style nightgown, right next to a noose that hung down from the ceiling in the center of the livingroom.

The little girl said something profound to me (but I cannot remember what now, unfortunately), which stunned me into silence and inaction and she placed the noose around her neck and hung herself. When I came out of my shock the "pack" of teen girls was leaving but I hardly acknowledged them as I was struggling to get the little girl down from the noose and resusitate (sp?) her.

It took a while but I got the little girl down and revived her. Something else happened at this point but I cannot now remember. Right afterwards I picked up the little girl, who now had a large, pale yellow towel or blanket wrapped around her (over her nightgown), out into the back yard. I put her down on at the top of the concrete steps and she cast off the towel/blanket and told me that the lush valley was magic. Certain people could fly there, she claimed, then she walked down to the last step and drifted away into the valley's distance.

I watched her fly away with a mix of joy and jealously until I could no longer distinguish her form from the horizon. I went back through the house and into the street out front, but the group of teens I had been with were long gone and I was now alone and lost in the devastated city.