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Saturday Night, 7/18/20

I had an FA. I noticed that the perspective was wrong for waking up; I was looking down on my bed. I floated around the room a bit, confirming I was dreaming. I noticed the room was vague and the dream did not feel very stable. I aimed for the floor of my room and landed, bounced up and down a little trying to feel the carpet on the soles of my feet. I could hear a soft crunching sound, like the sound of velvet being gently crushed. The dream faded anyway, my vision going black. However, I still felt more connected to the dream than to my waking life body so I tried to imagine "throwing" myself back into the dream. I opened my eyes, a bit uncertain whether it would work, but it did. I was back in my room standing on the ground. I floated again to confirm. Up near the ceiling I grabbed onto the top of the cube structure where there was a wooden platform (it's sort of like the top of a bookcase). I alternated between staring at the wood grain and rubbing my hand across the wood. Sure enough the grains of the wood became incredibly detailed and lifelike. Looking around I could now see the lines on the palms of my hands, the bumps on the blue walls, the sharp outlines of various pieces of furniture.

Satisfied that the dream was fully stabilized, I phased through the window of my room and glided over the land below. It was quite beautiful out, sunrise coloring the clouds. Although my backyard was much bigger than in waking life it was otherwise consistent with its current configuration. At least up until the stand of bamboo at the far end. Behind there and off to the right, instead of a fence, I found an open plot of dirt with a partially built lighthouse. At last! I thought, Although, I was kind of hoping to have it by an ocean... I considered that on the one hand it was convenient to have it close to my house but on the other hand I would have to use some trick of the mind in order to make use of it as I'd originally planned, as a lighthouse by the sea.

Off to my left a woman and two young children were wandering from the bamboo forest into my backyard. I waved at the family. The youngest child, the boy, seemed to be the only one who saw me. He tried to get his mother and sister to look over. The mother squinted in my general direction and shrugged before continuing on her way. The little boy looked confused. I told him not to worry about it. It wasn't clear if he could hear me. I returned my attention to the lighthouse and saw that the first floor was thoroughly encased in rock and therefore inaccessible. I had planned to have steps carved into rock leading up to the base of the building and I mused that the dream must have constructed it this way like a bug in a video game when it was placed somewhere different from the intended landscape. The next two floors were far smaller than I'd planned. Beyond that it was completely unfinished. I began planning how I would fix it and build it out as if I were using Minecraft blocks. I wondered if I should leave it with its current black and white colors or change them to match the colors I'd planned for it when I designed it in waking life. I had only just begun modifying the structure when I heard a loud sound. Annoyed, I looked up to see that some random guy on a motorcycle had ridden up and parked behind the lighthouse, apparently oblivious to my presence. When I saw that he wasn't going to interfere further I tried to return my concentration to the task at hand but the dream faded into a different scene and I lapsed into non-lucidity.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Made progress on two of my LD goals: creating a lighthouse and experimenting with dream cartography. The lighthouse is a place I designed in waking life that I had never encountered in a dream before. Basically I was trying to incubate it by creating drawings, written pieces, and even a design in Minecraft creative mode (which is no doubt why I ended up modifying it with Minecraft blocks in this dream). This was my first success in finding/creating the lighthouse in an LD, although I'd come across a version of it briefly in a non lucid once. I'd originally planned to build it from scratch near a particular recurring beach location. Instead I found it partially constructed... in my backyard. I didn't actively work to recall my waking life goal during the LD as I usually would, instead I just explored and found what I needed quickly. That makes this my first successful LD incubation attempt, as well.

Additionally, I've been wanting to not only map out my recurring dream locations but to experiment with creating new ones and testing their level of permanence and the permanence of the connections between dream locations. Behind the bamboo in my backyard happens to be one spot I'd considered using for experimentation as I'd rarely gone into the bamboo area in dreams and never off to the right. Apparently my subconscious decided to combine two ideas and gave me a partial lighthouse in that spot. I think I'll just find some way to work with this development. Maybe I'll use the lighthouse like a TARDIS lol.

Another side note: When I was very young my dad started building a wooden playhouse in the backyard and never finished it (eventually we took it down). This seems to be a symbolic reference to that, although I'm not sure why.

Sunday Night, 5/3/20

Dreamt that I ended up in the ER due to some serious respiratory issues. They gave me a bed right next to a couple people infected with coronavirus. They looked like they could be dying from it. I asked the nurse if it was safe for me to be in the same room, especially in my weakened state. She told me it was fine and that "They're six feet apart!". I wasn't reassured, especially since it was more like two feet. Is this even a real hospital? I wondered. This isn't the right procedure. I then noticed there was no medical equipment anywhere, just cots. I laid there, fading in and out of consciousness, wondering if this was where I would die. At some point I found the strength to escape from the place when no one was looking.

An involved plot followed where I got captured by a sociopathic serial killer in an abandoned industrial building. I managed to hold him down at one point but worried I wouldn't be able to maintain control of the situation until the police arrived. I don't think I did. The police did arrive, however. Three cops entered the building. I switched to the partial perspective of the lead detective, an older man close to retirement age. He/I instructed the others to split off and make a little noise to fake out the serial killer so he thought we were all approaching from a different side. Meanwhile I went off a different way as quietly as I could. The surprise ambush didn't work. The killer was holding a gun to the hostage, who was now actually a cat instead of a person. He gave me the ultimatum of taking a shot to the head to save the cat's life. I got the information that this cop was depressed and felt empty without his work to look forward to. He/I took the deal and for some reason I knew that the killer would adhere to the bargain... because he was just that particular brand of crazy.

I somehow survived after taking four gunshots to the head. I was not in great shape, however, and knew I needed to seek medical attention. I staggered out of the building and into the forest at night, making my way down the path. I gradually became myself again. I came to a short, rustic stairway with a wooden railing. Around that area I noticed a few swarms of flies. I stopped and stared for a while from a distance. I wondered about what type of flies they might be and why they were swarming here. I crept closer to get a better look and discovered that there was a dead crow laying on its back and that's what had drawn the flies to the area. I stared at the crow for a few moments, then I stepped past it and continued a short distance along the path until I reached the edge of a college campus. The Narrator spoke, telling me that I was going to be alright. I turned my face to the sky as dawn was approaching and lifted up into the air, drifting above the campus. The Narrator gave me instructions on which direction to travel. It seemed odd to me that I was flying but I reasoned that I must be in some sort of virtual reality simulation. Yes, that's it, that's why I heard a voice. I figured.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

The first part of the dream is likely at least partially a result of the shelter in place in waking life, although I hadn't been giving much attention to fears of getting sick, at least not on a conscious level. The serial killer was likely a result of watching a short documentary on a sociopath the day before. For me the end of the dream stood out the most: seeing the dead crow felt meaningful in some way, as did deciding to just walk past it and flying at dawn. Between the Narrator being present and the realization I could fly, this seemed like another almost lucid. Unfortunately my mind rationalized it away instead of questioning it further.

I feel myself going lucid, like an energy going up my body, I feel like I'm "falling" in lucidity but I suddenly feel a weird knot, like something close to my stomach, a ball forms? I wake up before I can totally get control of the dream.

I'm in a warehouse with my elementary school class, big windows in front of me show a field and some trees in the distance, sun is coming up. We start doing a dance and I somehow take over, leading it, everyone dances around me in synch except I'm doing different moves. It ends with me doing the Sun Salutation as the sun rises in a golden haze. Afterward I walk to a teacher to my left who commends me for the dance. I say that it wasn't too good, offering a far too simple view of native cultures as close to nature, a modern view imposed on them.

I follow a man with a brief case down a city street. We enter a large glass, modern hotel or office building. I think he's going to do something bad, like rob the place or extort money. As he does that I go up the transparent glass elevator. In the hall there is a bunch of people sitting and standing, like a reception for someone, or a party. I talk to the CEO, a young, handsome guy. He says environmentalist have put a bomb in the building. I panic, instantly accepting my fate. I'll die here. Then I suddenly gain some courage. Can I escape? I go down the elevator, almost out. In the lobby by the front door, sun is shining through the windows, I see a young woman in a white baggy t-shirt and a sign, an environmentalist protesting. As I exit I whisper to her "I agree with you."

I walk briskly out, the bomb can go off any second. As I cross the road and head toward the train station I hear a rumble, behind me a cloud of dust and chaos. I run toward the central train station, people are screaming and trams are crashing. Inside the train station, trams are crashing through the walls, and so are buses. I don't know where to stand, any false move and I'm dead. I stand paralyzed. A mutilated and almost blind bus driver comes out of the break room, he's been out of work for years but because of the emergency he can now work as everyone is now preoccupied.

I see a rat catcher that looks like John Goodman. He says he's killed almost all of the 5000 rats in the train station, but the remaining 800 left are as tough as nails, the fittest survive the longest.

I don't remember exactly when this one was, but it was around early October 2015.

It's one of the lucid fragments I didn't bother to write down at the time.

I don't recall what I dreamed about before, unfortunately... I didn't write it down. Stupid, on my part.

However, right before I woke up, I gained awareness while standing on a cliff. I was surveying a landscape covered with sweeping grass, with the ocean in the distance. I could see the waves breaking on a pebbly shore as the grass rippled in the wind. The sun was rising over the ocean. I decided not to "do" anything but watch the sunrise and be satisfied by such a vivid, solid dream after a night full of dreaming, I mostly just remember very being pleased about it all, as if I had enjoyed my night. I still wish I had written those dreams down, but I know there was some flying involved.

I spent a while peacefully enjoying the ocean breeze while the sun slowly rose over the waves. The sunlight sparkled on the waves and tinged the grasses with a rosy golden glow. The sea wind was cool and salty, with a hint of fresh grass.

Eventually, my alarm clock went off and I had to get up for work.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, ringing people up. The store looked a bit different than it does IWL. The store was dim; many of the lights had been turned off. There weren't many people inside either.

A customer kept coming up to my register over and over, a really sweet, chubby woman with her short hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was wearing a black shirt with a hot pink collared one underneath. She would come up and talk to me for a little bit, then go and keep shopping. She did this 3 times or so before she was finally ready to check out. She only had two or three items. As I was sliding them over the reader to scan the barcodes, I asked her (one) of the required questions:
"Would you like to open a charge card with us? I can save you up to 30%."
I thought I saw her shake her head no, but when I said "no?" she said yes, she did want a card. I got excited, since so few people say yes to that question, and, as a store, we have to get so many a day.
"Yes! Great!!" I said, feeling like I had shown my excitement a bit too much, and started to explain the process to her. I got it so she could fill out the app herself on the pinpad. She talked to me as she filled it out.

Then, when we submitted the application, the computer shut down! Oh crap. The app was lost, and we'd have to start over again. The computer came back up with this desktop background of what looked like a sunset on a dock where some sailboats were tethered. The program then came back up, and we started the app over, this time, with me doing it on my side of the register. She didn't seem too upset about it. She was still upbeat and smiling. She was telling me about some vacation she was going on. I looked at her driver's license and filled out the app, which looked a bit different than it does IWL. It asked me the same basic questions, like name and such, but instead of the questions being listed from left to right, they were listed up and down.

I got to the end of the app, and there were some weird questions that seemed to be quizzing me on my customer, like where she was going on vacation and stuff. I just kept talking to the customer and tried to think of the answers, and eventually, I had to just make some up. I went back to the top of the app to have the customer type in her SSN, but the box for SSN had disappeared completely. Ugh...now it probably isn't going to work again, but I hit submit anyway.

And of course, it didn't work. The computer froze for a second, then brought me back to the screen where you ring things up. UG09w3urp9ouhwe98hdg. This poor lady...and she was being so patient! I told her that the app stuff was being glitchy, and I'd just give her the 30% off anyway.

Then, suddenly, we were on a beach. The cloudless sky looked as if the sun was rising; it was painted with soft pinks and blues. We were standing at the mouth of a cave, overlooking the beach. The water seemed calm; it was beautiful. I plopped down in the sand, laying down in it on my back. I said
"This is the life, huh?" to the customer, and she seemed distracted, like she was ready to be done and out of the store. Can't say I blamed her; she had been there for forever.

We were then back in the dim store, and a couple of other women were there, trying to get the app thing to work for my customer. One of them was a manager, the other, a cashier like me. I told the manager that the app thing wasn't working. She went back behind the counter to take a look.

~

I was then in the dim store again, and an older, taller, thinner lady with short, grey, permed hair came up to me and said she wanted to exchange one earring. I asked her what was wrong with it as she handed the long, dangly, earring beaded with turquoise to me, and she started going on about how it was supposed to hold the key to her thong. Ok. Right. So I told her about the even exchange policy, and asked her to find another pair of equal or lesser value. Her husband was then there as well, and said she had already found the replacement pair. They were then handed to me. They were supposed to be the same earrings, but they looked more like chandelier-style earrings than the long, dangly one she handed me at first, though they still had the turquoise.

There was a point in I think the first dream, or a dream I don't remember anymore, where I was lucid for like 10 seconds, but I lost it.

This is again a daily entry of what I dreamt this morning, 13 August 2012.

Somehow, somewhere, Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead was very real. I sat observing the scene unfolding around me. I fully expected Howard Roark, the renegade architect, to rape Dominique Francon. It was expected. Really, it was just that.

I awaken sometime around 8:10 am. Falling back asleep for a brief period of only about 30 minutes.

A former friend of mine was angry with me for some reason. It seemed that he didn't want me talking about his ex-girlfriend.

I discover this apartment building on a quiet busy intersection, somehow reminiscent of basketball and laundry. I'm at the basement of what looks like my house, trying to connect to the Internet, and it was late morning.

Now I'm in my geography class again, expected to complete about three assignments, and after asking around apparently one of them was due yesterday. Gasp! The latest one, somehow, is due July 19th, which is apparently in the future.

I sit down to talk to this girl, who seemed to enjoy talking to me all year, and we were discussing something other than all these overburdening assignments.

Suddenly, something makes me realize this is all a dream. People around me continue to walk about, producing a strange and loud din.

I try to close my eyes and change the scenery. It doesn't work, as the talking is too loud. So I close my eyes even harder shut, and plug my ears in attempt to drown out all awareness of the surroundings.

Immediately, I'm rushed into this big portal, finding it hard to open my eyes again, not because it's too bright out here or anything. I "see", or visualize, swarms of a tunnel or whirlpool escorting me at a sudden speed.

What I see next disappoints me. I have awoken in my room, and it's morning.

Something is a bit strange here. The blinds are fully closed, but golden sunlight is pouring into the room, as though it's about 7 am or earlier. A plaque on my wall is directly ahead of me, instead of slightly to the right.

A book appears in my hand, and I'm turned to one of the first few pages, around page six, or maybe nine. It quotes page 1212 of the Qu'ran, possibly suras 7-12, emphasizing 8-9. It talks about relationships, but the large block of text near the bottom of the page on the right is rather condensed and uncited. It's highly reminiscent of something. I decide to record all this down before I forget.

I rush to the cupboard and shelf, eager to write things down on paper in my physical dream journal, under August 13. I know what date it is. Suddenly...

I wake up. My lucid dream had partially succeeded, only I had forgotten to do any reality checks and thus was fooled into thinking a dream was waking life. I rise to go to the bathroom, go to sleep without remembering much of a dream, and then wake up around 11 am, after which I go back to sleep, have a 10 minute dream, and then awaken again to begin my day.

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The first thing I can recall is being in my dad’s house,though it does not appear as it does in reality. The time in the dream is6:00A.M., and my alarm has sounded. There are guests besides myself in thehouse, and I am not sure if they woke up naturally or because of my alarm.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The first person I see is my dad, and he is fully dressedand all smiles. He is wearing a pair of what might be light-colored corduroypants, and a multi-colored vest, possibly made of wool, which seems an unusualchoice for indoors. I think he is also wearing his moccasins, which he was fondof in the 1980’s.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“Good morning!” he says to me, and I reply the same. The othersin the house are beginning to stir, and unlike my dad they are all sleepy-eyedand not ready for morning. I can see my stepmom over my right shoulder, andbehind me and to the left are cousins Angie and Michael (named Dave in thedream), and some unidentified woman who I think is a friend of my stepmother’s.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Despite the early hour I am excited to be awake, and I havemy SLR camera in hand, ready to take some pictures of the dawn. Indeed it isbrightening to the east, and the colors are striking. I have not seen thesecolors before from a dawn, especially at my current location, and I’m eager torecord the images before they are lost. I recognize the yard outside, includingthe backyard fountain, and that I am in California, though none of the imageryactually exists in real life.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Just as I finish the thought of taking pictures of the dawn,the sky is covered by clouds, and the light is lost. I am disappointed, and Ihunch slightly, a mild sadness over-taking me. My melancholy is short-lived,however, as the twilight brought on by the appearance of the clouds gives wayto true darkness outside, and I can see stars in the sky, their radiance brightenough to give a spectral glow to the garden and the fountain waters, now only visible asdark shapes with the tiniest hint of radiance.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Rubbing her eyes, Angie mutters, “It’s way too early. Wakeme up later.” As she says this she turns to head back to her bedroom, and theothers follow, all but my father. He heads on into the kitchen; a left-turn anda step up from the wide hall we currently occupy.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The entrance to the kitchen is also an open pantry, andshelves line either side, stuffed to overflowing with packaged groceries. Iknow there is a table out of sight in the kitchen but I never can see it. Thewalls are wood, and old, like at my grandmother’s house, a faded yellow paintclinging to the doorway and moldings.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Opposite this pantry is a set of double doors withfull-length windows set in them, squared off every four inches or so, andcovered by white curtains. These curtains are closed at the moment but somehowI can see through to the room behind them, and even out the windows beyond.Outside and to the west the sky is now illuminated with a pale twilight orpossibly early sunset. The illumination is confusing coming from the westthough the time is still early morning. I can see smoke rising from somedistant fire, and though I never see flames the smoke is lit up, colors oforange and pink, as though embraced by the rising or setting sun. I want to seethis, take pictures of it, know what’s causing it, and I set myself the goal offinding a way to do so.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I can’t go through the doors near me, which are locked, butI know I can still get to a place where I can view the scene from if I ventureback down the hall. Walking swiftly, I reverse my course and turn to the leftinto a room which also has a set of double-doors that lead me to a view of theoutside. These are not locked, and I open them with a whoosh.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I realize my mistake immediately, as before me are thesleeping forms of the three houseguests, one on a small sofa or large chair,the other two on soft mattress pads on the floor. All are covered by thick,fluffy comforters, and Angie is muttering in her sleep. Dave is out cold, andhis feet protrude from under his covers, while the woman who is a friend of mystepmother is snoring, and turns from her side onto her back as I stand in thedoorway feeling like an intruder.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The room is dark, and though I was sure I would have a viewof the outside from this room, the only light is coming from behind me, fallingupon the sleeping faces of the three guests. The windows have been draped inlong, white curtains, and though I cannot see additional window coverings thereseems to be no light entering the room, as though the sky outside is pitchblack.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I back out of the room slowly and quietly, doing my best toclose the latch without making any sound. With the door now shut I turn to myright and tip-toe through the room I’m in to yet another door, similar to allthe others except that it is not paired. I turn the handle and begin to walkthrough when I discover that the room I have entered still does not lead me tothe outside. I am faced with a wide room, carpeted and furnished, yet seeminglyforgotten as though an unattended part of the spacious home. Windows made ofsquare glass panes face west, and I can see the smoke still rising, but theimage is slightly distorted by the ancient glass, creating a ripple effect overeverything I can see outside.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Now I’m frustrated. I should have come to the back deck ofthe house, a perfect spot to take pictures and see what is causing the smoke,but every room leads me to nowhere useful. Seeing my task as futile but not yetgiving up, I head back towards the hall where I encountered everyone earlier,and somehow I have picked up a large bag of Cheetos along the way. Feelingsnacky, I take a couple of Cheetos, and munch one as I walk. The other I amstill holding as I again encounter my dad, still dressed in the unusual outfit.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“Are you hungry? We have a lot of food here.” He eyes thebag of Cheetos I’m carrying.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I reply with slight anger. “No, I’m not really hungry. Ijust wanted one. That’s okay, right?!” I’m still holding one Cheeto, bulbousand long. The golden dust covers my fingertips.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“It’s a pretty morning, living here.” he says, and makes asweeping gesture as if referring to the house and the surrounding hillside. “Doyou like it?”[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“I like it just fine,” I reply,” but I want to take picturesof the smoke outside. How can I do that when I can’t get outside or see pastthis tree?”[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Looking to my right is a set of windows facing west, and theview would be perfect save for a large tree branch which obscures my view,waving around in the wind and occasionally affording me a small glance of thelandscape beyond.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]My dad, turning to some male friend of his who hasmysteriously appeared next to me, says, “It’s great here, you can seeeverything around for miles! You can see all the cities and towns that surroundhere!”[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“What?!” I shout. “What can you see around here?”[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“You can see Adelaide, Addison, Alta Vista, Burke, Caldwell,Dawson, Howardsville, Westlake, Round Rock, Davis, Sonoma…”[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]“Dad, you can’t see any of those places from here! The onlyplace you can see is Howardsville, and that’s no great sight!” **Honestly, I have no idea whatHowardsville is. I think my mind was trying to come up with Pflugerville, whichlies to the north of Austin, but my mind couldn’t wrap itself around the ‘Pf’at the beginning of the name, and so I replaced it with a fictitious town.Honestly, from where I live in Austin, you can’t see any surroundingcommunities, almost the exact opposite of the where my dad lives with asweeping view of the San Francisco Bay Area.**[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]On top of my frustration of not being able to see out adecent window, the sky has turned dark again, as though night has fallen. Ithad felt like middle-of-the-day while my dad was expounding the virtue of hishome’s location, but time has passed and darkness has settled in again.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I find myself slipping in to bed, and everything looksnormal as it does now. Just as I’m about to turn out the light I hear a soundoutside the bedroom window, an odd metallic springy noise. [/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“Is that ‘S’ (my son) outside, playing with a Slinky?” I askJen[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“Maybe.” She replies, as casually as I had asked.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]This is not good, though not terrible. If he is indeedoutside, it means he climbed out his window and is being his usual fun-lovingself, playing a prank on us and trying to make us wonder what is going on.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]“It could be neighborhood kids, though I doubt it at thishour. Should I go make him come inside?” Somehow I don’t seem to be overlyworried about his actions, and I’m just about to turn off the light when I wakeup, and I can hear my son in the bathroom, playing around with the metal blindswhich cover the one window. It’s 7:02A.M. and I have overslept. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Oops.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT]

Was sitting by the road. Plants. Sunrise. Donnie. I did my sunrise adoration..

Comfort room at home. Size.

5/12/11 - Curse of the Shadows
Dream Non-Dream Lucid

I was at my house, but in a more woodsy setting, with tall trees all around and a single dirt road cutting through them. It was past nightfall, and I was with my cousin and two little girls that we were supposed to be babysitting. The dream became sort of like a horror movie; there was something that we could not see inside of the house with us, and it was going to kill us one by one until there was only one girl left, to whom it'd pass on a curse. Everything happened quickly. Before I knew it, everyone in the house had seemingly disappeared, leaving me alone with something unseen. I panicked, and ran outside. I saw a man standing across the road, and sprinted towards him. As I was doing so, I could see the sun beginning to rise in the distance, and the man smiling victoriously. Suddenly I realized what was happening, and tried desperately to run past him so that the sunlight might hit me first. Too late, rays of light passed over him as he turned and started walking away. The light was coming towards me now, and as it did I could feel it pushing me back, almost burning me. I ran back towards the house to find shade, and ended up huddled in an odd dent in the roof. Apparently, the man had been invisible and unable to go into direct sunlight for many years, and had finally freed himself of his curse by passing it on to me.
When my parents arrived home, they freaked out because they could not find me. It seems we all forgot about the other missing people, myself included. I ended up yelling down to my mom until she came outside and I was able to explain what'd happened. She was angry, saying it was my fault and she should've expected it to happen, wondering what she was supposed to do with an invisible daughter. She also suggested me stepping into the light, which I refused immediately because I knew it would harm me. My mom then basically left me on the roof.
I then found myself in a large, mansion-like house with my cousin(yes, the same one from earlier) and many of her friends. They thought my curse was "cool" and we basically just talked for awhile.
Later on I was with Hannah in a car, her driving and me in the passenger seat. We were talking about the curse and how it was weird that she could see me while no one else could. I told her that if she wanted to know what it was like, I could pass the curse to her the next morning and we could trade off again a day later. She agreed, and as she was driving in silence the thought of leaving her with the curse occurred to me momentarily, but I knew I could never do something like that to a friend and dismissed the idea.
When we reached her house, I scooted over to the driver's seat after Hannah got out of the car, and remembered that Hannah had no licence and I didn't even know how to drive.

I recall nothing after this.

Deleted

1/15/11 - Walking in the Dark
Dream Non-dream Lucid

I was on my front porch, standing under the little light in the ceiling, talking to someone. I told them to stop talking, that I needed to examine the dream some more. I looked around and stepped outside. It was pitch dark out. I walked further and still could see no light, all I knew was that I felt concrete beneath my feet. I held onto that feeling.
I looked up, and could barely make out the outline of the moon. I decided that it should be daytime, and willed the sun to rise. An orb of light rose up into the sky, but it faded away quickly. I tried saying it aloud, "Sun, rise." Nothing happened. I turned around and looked back at my house. All I could see was the small glow coming from the front porch. I walked in that direction...and I don't know what happened after that.

I remember being in a classroom, with a bunch of kids from my old school. I was with Mary and Hannah, as usual, and we were talking about something. Just when class was about to be let out, there was a loud booming sound. Rain was pummeling down outside, and lots of water was blowing in through the open windows. Everyone crowded together on the floor, in the middle of the room, as the booming continued and be could see sparks of electricity right next to the windows. It was a really bad lightning storm. After several minutes of sitting there and witnessing the storm, it died down, and the thunder and lightning stopped. The teacher told us we could leave. I was pissed because the book I'd been reading was soaked. Then I woke up. I wish I'd remembered the task of the month!

This morning I dreamed I saw the Sun rising through the woods that are north of my house. I believe I had actually woken up before this dream and saw it was dawn through the glass door. In my dream I was looking through this door and I could see the Sun through the woods, as if they were transparent, as it rose above the horizon. The disk of the Sun was bright crimson and it was surrounded by perfect blackness. As it rose I gave my the solar adoration for sunrise:

Hail unto thee who art Kephre in thy rising,
And unto thee who art Brahma in thy birth
And even unto thee who are Zeus in thy ambition.
Hail unto thee oh Sun in this thy rising.

By the time I had finished the Sun was completely above the horizon.


Yesterday at sunset I meditated on the visualization of a red setting Sun, as described in the Contemplation Sutra. This might well have been an inspiration for the dream.

8-28-2010

Morning of October 13, 1969. Monday.



This is titled “The Three Lives of my Dream Girl” not because the precognitive rendering of my wife Zsuzsanna has three lives in it but because it was directly influenced by “The Three Lives of Thomasina”.

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I find myself in what seems like an indoor intersection where four staircases go upwards from each direction (yet seems bilocated within the Cubitis living room yet has the typical feeling of being inside and outside at the same time). I follow a black cat that seems a bit familiar (though actually is not in reality as we had a white cat called Snowball). I do not reach the top of the stairs but I do reach an isolated mezzanine that I am aware of by looking over the top step from about the sixth step down. My mystery girl is sleeping on her back. There is a pale orange glow.

I am wary about bothering her so I turn and crawl across some sort of monkey-bars-like structure. I find “my” staircase and begin to look for my bed to make sure I am in it. Looking back, I see a two-dimensional giant orange tabby cat head just beginning to peak over the implied skirting of the odd adjacent mezzanine (from wherever I now am) and behind the head of the mystery girl’s bed, the floor of the mezzanine (or loft) which now seems hexagonal. I get a vague impression of the oversized black cat statues being alive (though they never actually move) and I hear a vague buzzing sound, like crickets but lower in pitch.

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• I have come to realize that an intersection may be some sort of real-time artifact indicating shared dreaming.
• A staircase is a real-time symbol of the dream’s status and relates to a potential shift in consciousness, including waking.
• Zsuzsanna was a cat breeder who went to cat shows when we first wrote, making this dream precognitive in an additional secondary way.
• A statue coming to life (which does not fully unfold here) is a waking metaphor (waking precursor) that symbolizes the conscious mind becoming more active.
• A black cat is a circadian rhythms factor (cats being typically perceived as nocturnal) and signifies threads of dawning consciousness in liminal space. In my case, the recurring black cat, or in some cases “shadow cat” or humanlike panther, is a variation of the preconscious personification, though ironically is typically more helpful than when in human form.
• This is a common daybreak dream (which are about as common as return flight dreams - which represent about twenty percent of all dreams), validated by the presence of the color orange (moderate waking priority) and the giant cat head (almost like a flat stage prop) coming up over the head of the bed as being analogous to sunrise and the emerging conscious self.

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