All DJ Entries

Fragment:

I'm doing PT in a large open gym area and I find a green band I used in a prior recovery.
I'm using a three-pound weight for some shoulder exercises and I feel embarrassed that this is all I can do now.

Muddied Water:

I'm meeting with friends (the Tots) somewhere.
I arrive first, at a Wal-Mart like store. I'm searching for a bathroom.
I see AG hugging somebody who isn't her boyfriend, while MD (the boyfriend) is returning from a nearby isle.
The store then changes into something more like a Toys-R-Us.
...
I'm in a dark and cramped escape-room type area. There are some dark purple plants covering the walls.
There are some pots holding the plants, and the pots are filled with dirty looking water.
...
I'm holding a glass of water, and it has the 'dirty' property from the escape room scene.
I'm standing in a hallway at HM's house that isn't normally there.
I accidently spill the water, and my Dad starts to criticize me before I have a chance to explain it wasn't my fault. Stressful moment.
My Dad is in a full suit, and is explaining something work-related to HM.

Wild Burgers:

I'm in the woods with my brother. It vaguely reminds me of how I pictured a scene from the book 'Hatchet' from middle school English class.
It's raining, and we have a small cave for shelter.
But there are some wild animals coming. High feeling of urgency and stress.
We run.
...
I see a homeless man coming out of the wilderness in third person.
He walks onto the street and enters a bar.
The man is concerned about how he might smell, but nobody brings up the issue.
...
I'm with Danny and Arin from the Game Grumps.
We seem to be in a sort of Power Hour scenario (Youtube show the duo does).
There are three burgers in front of us in a chemical hood.
The task is to assemble one full size burger by disassembling the other three.
I sarcastically split each burger into thirds, and then combine one third of each piece into one as a joke.
I'm concerned whether the joke will land.

Unclear Suns:

I'm in a classroom that resembles a conference room at work.
A Carl Sagan-like person is teaching a lecture about the sun.
It may have been about the sun exploding.
There is some algebra on a chalkboard as he explains.
An Asian guy calls out to him, not believing something he is saying.
I can follow the algebra on the board, except for one part that is unreadable to me at the bottom.
It looked as if letters were combined.

Falling into the Drink:

I'm with my girlfriend and my Dad. We are at a sort of lakeside pier in a city area. It's day-time.
My Dad has walked off, and I'm talking to my girlfriend quietly.
I make a comment about how he is probably looking for some bar to have a drink.
I express some resentment there. My girlfriend nervously agrees with me, not wanting to offend.
...
Later I'm on a small paddleboat going into the lake. I'm worried about falling in.

Learning to Drive:

It's night and I'm leaving a game night at JM's (Tots) house.
I'm with EP from highschool combination rackets. Her dad is coming to pick us up.
The car is a beat up old Expedition. We sit in the back.
...
We get to EP's home and it is a small condo/apartment. It's dirty as well.
I see a large smartwatch adhered to the wall, meant to act as a regular wall-clock.
There is a bag of fast food on the ground. It might have been Firehouse Subs.
...
Later I'm downtown somewhere that reminds me of Las Vegas. I'm near a parking structure stairwell.
My girlfriend's Dad is supposed to meet us at a restaurant soon.
There is some sort of event related to car sustainability going on.
...
I'm at my high-school parking lot.
I've just bought a brand new car, but my Dad is in the driver's seat.
I'm very annoyed that he is trying to drive it before I do, so I ask him to give up the spot to me.
He does, but when I get in, I notice that he has only partially moved out of it.
He is sitting in the passenger seat, but his left leg is still under the wheel.
I'm struggling to fit in the driver's seat, and my Dad is struggling to fit in the passenger seat.

Fixing the Plant:

I'm at my current home in waking life, out in the yard.
I've started to plant something. I vaguely recall it may have been a hunk of meat.
HM from the Tots and somebody else are there.
I go back in the house for something and then return.
The two of them have 'fixed' my attempt at potting the plant by adding sugar to it.

Peachy Party:

I'm at my Grandma's current basement. There is a party going on with a large group of people.
There's a football team with blue and white colors I'm sarcastically following. I'm watching them play a game on my smartphone.
The team is here now, and some of them are jocks. One of them is holding up a sign. It is all symbols.
I intuitively understand it to mean "no girl delivery people." The symbol is a smiley face with long hair, circled with a line through it.
...
Later I'm hooking up with Princess Peach at the same party. We are under a stairwell. It is pretty vivid.
After the deed is done, we pass out on the floor, not concerned if anybody finds us.
In the moment I consider this a chad-move.
At some point in the night another person puts a blanket over the two of us.
...
We wake up and it is revealed that someone has taken pictures of us during the act.
The pictures are crudely edited, with cutouts over faces. I see us over by a TV center.
We are both embarrassed that there is evidence now.
...
I'm standing at another part of the room with YK from college.
Lights are dark now, and the scene is more sinister.
YK is scared that somebody is going to get him.
He is trying to hide and I follow suit.
I go to hide in a back area near the water heater, but YK tells me that hiding place is too obvious.
I turn and go to find a new spot, but now I'm out in the open.
I see my bike and my girlfriend's bike there, and I accidently bump into them.
They make a loud noise as they fall.
An old lady carrying what looks like a harpoon gun appears from the top of the stairs.
I ask her why she is here.
"I'm here to kill you," she replies simply.
She points the gun at me, and I grab it, trying to point it away.

Mother Eater:

I'm on a gloomy, dark, rainy street.
There is a monster down the way. It has eaten a sort of mother figure.
...
There is a cave area, with three couples of people together.
The monster is there and the couples are giving up to it.

Searching the School:

I'm walking quickly through my highschool with an unexplained sense of urgency.
I'm looking for someone.
I see one of my old roommates from college in the stairwell. I go up and down different stairwells at different parts of the building in my search.
I pass an old classroom of mine, and one of my old English teachers from back then, Mrs. F.

Went to bed at ???

Bad Pheromones
I'm in a school/college situation. It may have been mixed with my work cafeteria. ER from work a few years back is there.
I default to hiding my interest in her (as I did in waking reality), thinking that there is not a high likelihood of that interest being returned by her.
There is a vague situation where I smell bad (lack of deodorant, dirty clothes etc).
This makes the situation all the more tense.

Recorded at ???

I woke up from my alarm and started to get ready for work. I showered, dressed etc. But then I decided to call in for the day (and went bad to bed) because I felt crappy. So, that technically makes this a mid-morning WBTB, but I wasn't going for any kind of timing goal here.

Went back to bed around 8AM.

Getting Lost at Costco
I'm at Costco with my girlfriend.
I do a nose RC out of habit and become lucid. I also do a hands RC, and I have baby-hands branching off my fingers. Nice.
I'm thinking that this is a great opportunity to try baked goods and see what they taste like in a dream.
Ape-brain kicks in at this point though, and activities ensue with my girlfriend.
She comments that since this is a dream, it doesn't matter that we are in public.
After that, I try to find the bakery section but lose my lucidity before reaching it.

Summoning Snow
I'm at home and did a nose-RC in the hallway, becoming lucid.
My brother is there. He had a nerf gun, but I mostly ignored him.
I did stabilization (narrating, rubbing hands/feet). I had the presence of mind to try to stand still, observe the dream environment, and ground myself.
The dream started to fade, but I managed to hold on. The same dream reformed, and I repeated my reality checks + stabilization. I felt pretty happy about this.
I reflect that maybe past dreams 'fading' were just my brain attempting to wrestle lucidity from me and succeeding. But this time I beat it.
I went out to the living room area, it's a long room instead. I wanted to go somewhere more interesting.
I remember one method for traversal is association/reframing, and also that my previous attempts at portals have been lackluster.
I think about where I would like to go and decide on a snowy place. I wonder what association might help my brain generate such a place.
I decide to imagine an ice pick and search around the living room for one, but no luck. I head outside.
There is a bit of snow on the ground, sort of like when snow that had been there previously has mostly melted. I find the ice pick on the ground in the yard.
I vaguely recall seeing my brother outside too, but then there was an older woman there. Not someone I recognized now or then.
The woman tries to advise me on lucid dream ability. She tells me that I have done well, but need to move on now.
I take the advice to mean my summoning of the ice pick went well, but I should try something new.
Where there is normally brick wall in my yard, there is a wooden fence. There is a beautiful New Zealand-esque grassy field landscape beyond the fence.
I jump over the fence and fly into the distance.

Alternate Silverlight
I am in a futuristic city with silver skyscrapers, lucid, and flying around.
I wonder whether this place is another interpretation of Silverlight (a fantasy forest I've been trying to get to).
I'm in a crowd with some DCs. The DCs know I am there, lucid, and dangerous to them. They have been warned by something.
I didn't do anything with these people and just flew off again, enjoying the dreamscape. This environment is much more interesting than my typical lucid dream fare.

Recorded around 10AM.

Went to bed around 12:00AM.

Another Reunion
I'm with my friend R from highschool marching band.
We are in an big gym, reminiscent of the one we used to sleep in during travel for competitions.
I recall looking around and thinking about how real everything looks.
R's jeans and the glossy wood floor are high in detail.
But I don't reality check, despite being somewhat aware that this is an illusion.
I ask R is he is going to the reunion. He says yes.
We make our way down a hall, and end up in the S building auditorium.
There is a screen on the stage, showing us going onto the stage as Freshmen.
When I go to sit down there is a handicap section.
I think about how as of recently I don't need that anymore (not exactly true, still in recovery).

Obstacles
I'm with my brother running away from something.
It's night-time and we are on the sidewalk behind our childhood home.
I'm ahead and I reach the entrance first.
There is a brick section over the window where we need to get to.
I start to pull at the bricks and I'm making an opening.
I try to make it through but I can't fit. I get back at it and try to open it more.
But not fast enough. My brother catches up and starts berating me for not getting the path open.
I'm getting upset and scared.
More bricks reappear.

Woke up around 9:30AM.

Even though this dream was about DV conversation, the characters appeared visually like real not just as text. However, I do not remember what any of the dream character representation of DV members looked like.

I just remember the last bit:

TiredPhil (speaking in animated anger to another DV member): "You know it's obvious who is going to help me take lucidity up a level, and help me achieve a higher level of enlightenment."

This fragment is very fragmented in part because I think it maybe from an earlier sleep cycle, anyway not from just before waking up:

...
Someone asks me: Why did you stop doing that?
Me: Because the emotions got too strong.
....

And that's it. It's kind of embarrassing that right after a long vivid dream yesterday, this is all I have today. Well actually not quite all, I also have the sense that I may have not quite been myself (distancing myself from the strong emotion and dealing with it?). Also out of some reason when I think of this dream I get the mental image of a very floppy hat, not on someone's head but just lying there (I wonder whether the hat is a metaphor for something in this dream?)

What could this dream be about? My stress level has certainly been through the roof lately, and even before that I have had terrible mood swings for months.

The question could be for why I stopped calling my father. I had mentioned that in a DV thread, and the answer is certainly appropriate for that question. Also the distancing myself from myself as a defense mechanism just in case would make sense.

I just now remember though that the question in the dream may have been job related. it could be: why did you stop loving your job? Why did you stop having faith that your boss will make it all ok? Certainly the answer would apply there as well. Our job has been too emotional lately, meetings which are ultimately motivated by fear/greed/unfulfilled ambitions/etc. And these meetings and their consequences have caused my stress to go through the roof.

Out of some weird reason I had the thought that "Why did you stop doing that?" Could be about introspection self-evaluation. This maes no sense, since I never stopped doing that. However, what if this is about my dream recall. What if my dream recall is not good nowadays and I stopped doing as regular dream journals, because I am self-distancing from the emotions that are too strong in my dreams? We know that dreams tend to have stronger emotions than waking life. I know that I have had some emotionally draining dreams. What if I am forgetting my dreams now as a defense mechanism to protect myself?

I dreamed that I was awake at night. Perhaps had gone to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water or something. When suddenly I realized there was an intruder in our house: a black man with a flashlight. Interestingly enough even though he did have a flashlight which was on, the lights in the room were also on, so I could clearly see everything (in fact I think that's why my dream mind decided to have the lights on).

(Side note: why was he black? Is my subconscious racist? Did he just happen to be black? Have I been conditioned by society to fear black men more, so that an intruder is more scary if black? I am white btw.)

He was on the younger side of middle aged, looked clean and clean shaven, and made the impression of being smart and surprisingly well off for someone who chose to burgle homes at night. He was wearing a clean sweater that looked good on him. He seemed fit, not athletic, but slim and healthy looking - like he took care of himself.

He was clearly here just looking for valuables: a burglar. He was very surprised to see me. He stopped and stared at me in shock, and said something like "What the heck? This has never happened before." He was clearly unprepared to face an awake inhabitant of the house. He did not seem aggressive, and just seemed to be thinking of what to say and do next.

Meanwhile I was terrified. I realized I expected that he would rape me. Next thing I know I am lying on my back on the floor with my knees up, even though I had been standing a moment ago, and the dream does not even bother to provide a transition. The burglar looks at me clearly confused and disturbed by my actions, as if he wanted to say "What are you doing woman?" He does not appear to have any intensions to rape me. he appears to be a cultured gentleman burglar.

This however does not diminish my fear. Next thing I know I wake up still horrified.

Side note: Why I had this dream: On DV some woman questioned why do rape victims make such a big deal out of it - a statement which kind of shocked me. Then on Facebook a friend of mine posted an interesting article about a professor teaching high school kids how not to rape, an article I read last evening, and someone else also posted a rape related comment because of News of course.

Upon waking part of me wondered whether the reason why I assumed the position was because part of me wanted to be raped in my dream. But no, I don't think so, my reaction was definitely sheer fear not any anticipation. I assumed the position in my dream because of the simple expectations cause effect in dreams.

Reassuringly enough my burglar's personality was such that I believe I was in no danger of actually being raped, even if I had not woken up. He seemed to be evaluating my reaction, and judging me to be a very confusing and ridiculous woman. So it was all in my head. My DC was not actually threatening, despite the potentially dangerous situation. Maybe given his personality I should not have expected him to try to rape me, but rather expected him to invite me to sit down with him at the table and calmly discuss the consequences: whether he could persuade me to please not call the police.

On another note: this was a very vivid dream. I think the vividness was enhanced by and also helped cause the intense emotions.