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Ritual: I went to bed around midnight, but the knowledge that I had to wake up earlier than usual this morning, at 7am, created a subtle anxiety that woke me up at 4:30am and made it hard to sleep afterwards. The natural insomnia created good conditions for lucidity, and I woke up at 6:30am after this dream.

DILD: Since I was lying in bed mostly awake for a couple hours, I had already gotten up several times to use the bathroom. This seemed like another one of those times, but an odd detail caught my eye. There was a steel mesh frame surrounding the toilet paper roll and someone had left a lot of used cotton balls in it. They were stained on one side with a color like Betadine. I assumed my husband must have left them there, and wondered what he had been using them for.

On some level I suspected that there was something wrong with this scenario and decided to RC. I braced one hand on the bathroom counter and the other on the towel rack, and tried to lift myself. My body lifted effortlessly off the ground with no real muscular exertion, which made me suspect I must be dreaming. (The fact that the bathroom did not correspond to its WL layout was something I failed to notice, as usual.) I checked again, with the same results, and then to be sure, I tried the same stunt without using my arms at all—that is, levitating. Upon levitating successfully, I was confident that this was the dream state.

It's so gratifying to get unintentional LDs! But one isn't always prepared with a task. I felt an impulse to go outside, so I went back out to the bedroom and quickly exited through the screen door. Immediately I noticed a destabilization of my vision. Experience reminded me not to fret, just relax and let images suggest themselves, the problem should straighten itself out. Sure enough, a moment later I started to notice colors, then the colors organized themselves into geometry, and before long they had resolved into a new scene: I was looking at a large stack of different colored shipping containers.

I realized that the deck I was standing on overlooked a great harbor. There was water on all sides, and my house was apparently on some tall island in the middle. I was surprised by the number of ships that I could see moving to and fro. They came in all sizes, everything from large cargo ships to little tugboats, all looking very industrious. There were so many ships that I wondered if the place I was in lacked air transport entirely: I didn't see any planes flying at first, but a moment later, perhaps summoned by my thoughts, a helicopter veered very close overhead.

I decided that I should do something useful as long as I was in the dream state, and tried to remember this month's tasks. Eating a moon rock leaped to mind. Okay, how should I do that? I didn't feel like shifting scenes just yet, actually traveling to outer space. I thought, well, maybe a rocket could land nearby and an astronaut could get out and present me with the moon rock. It sounded like a good strategy but I was not strongly motivated to try it, so I tabled the idea.

As I was contemplating the possibilities, I heard music from nearby, and noticed a miniature stage on one edge of the deck. This reminded me of one of the other TOTMs, attending a concert. Well, here are some creatures playing music in public, that might count. I call them "creatures" because the music was being played by what looked like muppets, only a foot or two in height. The initial music sounded like a piano, and a female muppet was playing it, but her fingers were moving over a clear plastic stand, with no visible keys. I thought she resembled what I can only describe as the "hippie girl muppet," but googling that now, it seems to be a good search term and reveals that the name of the muppet in question (in WL, anyway) was "Janice."

After her piano solo ended, a male muppet to her right began playing guitar. This muppet resembled Fozzie Bear, and and was singing as he played. I listened closely to the lyrics and did my best to remember them. As usual in deep dream, I was impressed how easily the rhymes came—though of course on waking, it was hard to remember the lyrics clearly.

The first rhyme involved the phrase "...how we live," which later rhymed with "...give." There was another stanza that I couldn't remember at all by the time I was writing my report. I have a slightly clearer memory of the third stanza, apart from the absent first line:

...
...and I'll let you do the rest,
Because you know Amos and Andy
And can put them to the test."

After that, the muppet went into a refrain of:

Can you help me?
Stranger, can you help me?

The lines may sound plaintive in plain text, but they were a little more jazzy the way they were sung. I was listening to the song and smiling down fondly at the muppet. I felt that "Amos and Andy" was a phrase I had heard before... was it related to cookies? Or an old TV show? I was certainly willing to offer help, if it was needed, but a moment later I woke up.

Note: Googling now, I see that "Amos and Andy" was originally a radio show in the 1920s, later moved to television, and lasted until the 1950s. I have no idea why my subconcious dredged this up! I must have thought of cookies because of the similarity to the brand name "Famous Amos."

This dream was back in the summer, before 7/17/14 because I wrote it down at that time. I dreamed I was the lead singer and created this song with a band. As I started the song it was with lucid intent, and I was surprised at how good it was! It was weird hearing my voice, but in a good way, as I sang in a death-metal vocal way. The female singer doing the oh oh refrains had a really pretty voice. Although I wrote it down as soon as possible these are all the lyrics I could remember.

Song: Under my skin (it burns in my heart)

(Female vocals):
oh oh oh, oh ut ut o-oh, oh
oh oh oh, oh ut ut o-oh
(now me singing)
This feeling
it burns in my heart
and I feel it
like cold inside
it gets under the skin
it won't let me die!!
(Female vocals):
oh oh oh, oh ut ut o-oh, oh
oh oh oh, oh ut ut o-oh

There was more, but I couldn't remember all the lyrics. The sound was amazing too. I wish I could re-create it in real life but I just don't have the know how with the musical instruments.

An update, it seems my dream song has similarities with the Cruxshadows song Halo. The oh oh oh part.

Ritual: Second try with the vibrating timer, successful but strange experience. This time it seemed to work not so much from going off (in fact I doubt it ever did), but because my anticipation of the trigger kept my mind alert during the process of falling asleep—to the point where I thought I was still awake long after I had evidently slipped into dream.

It's becoming apparent that anticipation can serve the same function as motivation. Actually my motivation was relatively low, for the same reason as last time: it is the busiest part of my work week and I realized that I wasn't sure I wanted to have to spend a long time writing up my dream report if successful. I went to bed a little after 12:30am, and woke up naturally around 5:40. (I checked the clock but can't recall the precise time, I think it was somewhere between 5:37 and 5:43.) I decided it was too late to do full WBTB and recognized my lack of motivation, so I just shoved the MotivAider in my pillow and went back to bed with no further technique, letting things take their own course.

Although normally I would fall back asleep in seconds or minutes at most after such a brief WBTB, I noticed that now I was oddly wakeful... it seemed like just waiting for the device to go off, even though it was set so that it wouldn't trigger initially until 45 minutes had passed, was keeping me awake. After a few minutes trying to get comfortable I grabbed the sleep mask from my bedside table because I knew the sun would come up soon. I then spent a very long time trying to get back to sleep... or so I thought. In retrospect it is apparent that for much of this period I was experiencing that obscure counterpart of a false awakening, a "false falling asleep" (FFA).

FFA: I think I must have actually fallen asleep very quickly, since a lot of the things I experienced while I thought I was trying to fall asleep turn out to be have been things I dreamed. For instance, at one point I was convinced that I was lying in bed with my body rotated in the opposite direction, my head facing the foot of the bed, but then I fixed this without really moving my limbs... a maneuver that would have been impossible to do physically.

Eventually I decided that I ought to have a back-up EILD method so I tried to program my sleeping mask. I reached up and pried apart the velcro near the top to flick the "on" switch, remembering to hold it down four seconds to enter "nap mode." I couldn't tell if I saw the indicator lights or not... I thought I did, but the impression was vague. Did I have the brightness set too low? Oh well, I don't remember how to change it. I'll just turn it off and turn it back on again to be sure. Hmm, same thing, the lights are vague... I'm not sure if I'm really seeing them or just imagining it. And then I realize... hang on... I'm not even wearing the Remee, this is just an ordinary cloth sleep mask! So I tried to correct the situation by putting my Remee on under the regular mask... and I really thought I had done this until, while writing this report, I began to have doubts and went to check. Sure enough, the Remee hasn't been touched all night! At least I can verify that I was wearing the ordinary mask, since that one has been moved and is now lying on my bedstand where I must have left it after waking up.

At another point in the FFA I even felt the MotivAider finally go off. The vibrations felt lengthened and distorted again. I ignored them since I thought I was still awake, and hoped I would be asleep by the time it went off next. In retrospect I realize I must have dreamed even this, because the MotivAider could not have gone off until 45 minutes had passed (even on random mode it initially counts down the full maximum set interval), and I got up to start writing this report at 6:14am, less than 45 minutes after going back to bed around 5:40... so it is very unlikely that it actually went off in that whole period!

I was getting annoyed with how long it was taking (or so I thought) to fall asleep, and eventually in my impatience I decided to just start "practicing" WILD separations in my imagination. I tried to envision an almost physical pull on my dream body that would tug it up from the lying position into a standing one, and after each repetition of this I imagined myself landing with both feet on the bed with the flourish of a gymnast who has just finished an acrobatic move. It felt at first like I was only visualizing this rather than experiencing it: as though I were just going through the motions, practicing for when I got closer to falling asleep... but before long the sense of immersion set in, and I realized that I was already in a light WILD state. I was surprised that I had been able to move so easily from full wakefulness to full REM, still unaware that I had evidently already been dreaming for quite some time already!

WILD: Since I was under the impression that I had only just transitioned into a dream state, my initial goal was just to improve immersion and stabilization, so without trying to do any tasks at first I simply wandered through the house. I soon half-woke and had to separate again. I used the same visualization as before "pulling myself up" from lying down to standing up, but it went more smoothly and easily this time. Once again I landed like a gymnast, but this time rather than landing on the bed I vaulted right out of it and onto the bedroom floor.

By this time I felt immersed enough to start working on tasks. One of the TOTMs is to dress in a costume, and I had decided in advance that I wanted to dress like a witch, so I went to the "costume closet" where I keep my clothes that are too dressy or impractical for everyday use. At first I was surprised to see (so I thought) nothing but the clothes that are there in waking life. I must have been a bit confused, because although in WL the closet contains plenty of gothy-looking wraps and dresses entirely suitable for a witch costume, the only thing I thought to grab at the time was a small halter top of some colorful iridescent material. I didn't put it on yet, since my priority was to find a mask.

The closet actually contains a box of masks on the upper shelf, but in the dream I "remembered" that I had a brown paper bag of them on the floor, so I went through it until I found a witch mask... or was it? Looking at it again, I thought it actually looked more like a Darth Vader mask that someone had clumsily tried to convert into a witch face with dabs of green paint. But then I "remembered" using it as a witch mask before, so I figured it would be adequate.

Next I needed the pointy hat. I must have one around here somewhere... I dug through the closet, but couldn't find one of the right shape. Nevermind, I can make one! I pulled out a fedora made of black leather, and started trying to pull the top to make it longer and more pointy. At first the material was resistant but I put some focus into the act and soon was able to mold the hat into a proper Halloween-style witch hat, and put it on my head. The fact that it was made of black leather made me feel extra stylish. I paused at the door of the room and wondered if I needed to change my clothes as well, but when I looked down I saw that I was wearing a long black dress that already looked witchy enough, so I never had to put on that stupid halter top!

After walking back out to the kitchen, I remembered to check my reflection in the mirror (in a spot where there is no mirror in WL). It wasn't bad! I looked like that classic witch from the Wizard of Oz: green face, hooked nose, tall hat. The mask was looking much less Vader-like now, and at this point I noticed that there was even an inscription on it (entirely legible in the mirror rather than inverted by the reflection) that gave the title "Witch," and was signed either "Robert" or "Richard." I assumed the name must be that of the local artist who made the mask, and was reassured by the title that it had been intended as a witch mask after all.

When people were contributing suggestions for the October TOTMs, I had really liked the one about flying on a broomstick to a witches' gathering, so this was something I had planned to do once I got in costume. But now I wasn't sure. Maybe it would be fun to work on my lucid dare instead, and go startle some elves with my witch costume! I felt indecisive. And in either case I'll have to leave the house, so which door should I use? I've let myself get into the bad habit of being paranoid that leaving the house might destabilize the dream, so I wondered if leaving by a door I don't often use would help bypass this impression. I know that this worry is a wholly self-imposed obstacle—and moreover that it is not supported by the evidence—yet I also know that even letting myself worry about destabilization can have a destabilizing effect!

While I'm standing there trying to make up my mind, I notice that the scenery outside the kitchen door has already begun to change. Replacing the back patio is now a beautiful summer forest, with green leaves, mossy trunks and a clear limpid pool of water on the ground, like a natural spring. The water is only a few inches deep and appears completely transparent and pure. The scene is so lovely that I immediately let go of my pointless worries and go outside to enjoy it, kneeling in the water and running my hands through it, lifting it in my palms and letting it splash back into the pool. I find myself wondering if these surroundings will transform my costume from that of an ugly old green witch into a young beautiful forest witch. And what do we mean by "witch," anyway? I start pondering the question: aren't those two archetypes (ugly old witch and young beautiful witch) from the same tradition? Don't they both imply a woman with an unusually strong connection to the natural world?

I still haven't decided if I want to look for a witch gathering or an elven gathering in this forest, as I think both could conceivably be taking place here. Would the elves resent my presence if I'm still a Halloween-style witch? But if this pool has transformed me into a beautiful forest witch, maybe I would blend right in. (I regret now that it never occurred to me to check my reflection again in the pool! Though I still had the impression that I was wearing the same black dress.)

Once again the dream distracted me from my thoughts, this time by the sound of a voice singing. It was an attractive male voice, a low tenor, drifting from somewhere up above. The pool where I knelt was at the foot of a rocky ledge, at least ten feet high, and it seemed like the main part of the forest was up there. I flew up (I can't recall if I used a broomstick or just levitated as usual) to see if I could locate the singer. I followed the voice and soon found myself in a green mossy glade. I could not see anyone but I could hear the voice distinctly, so I took note of the words:

On the new sensation lying within,
One can ride a stream of water, straight and thin.

There was another half line of verse after this but on waking it faded before I could record it. I think it had something to do with the feeling or awareness produced by the "new sensation" mentioned in the first line. I woke up before I could listen to any more of the song or continue to look for the singer.

Note: It was still very early after I finished writing all my notes, so I went back to bed. I had some NLDs and at one point as I was starting to wake up from one I found myself thinking about the song again. At this time I got the impression that the missing line might have been: And so a new feeling is won. Of course there's no way to confirm if that's what it was originally, but it's the best I've got to go on!

After reading about Tlaloc's homebrew EILD technique, I wanted to try something similar, so I compared the devices available on Amazon and settled on the "MotivAider." Although bulky and overpriced, I liked that the vibration length and intensity are fully customizable, and the fact that it has an option to go off at random intervals. It recently arrived in the mail, so I read the instructions before going to bed last night, but decided to wait until my WBTB to program it, since I figured the task would help reawaken my mind as well as focus my intention.

Went to bed at 1:30am, woke naturally at 5am. I realized my motivation wasn't as high as I had anticipated because I remembered how much work I needed to get done before the weekend was over, and reasoned that sleeping in after a long WBTB and writing a dream report if successful would really cut into my available time. However, the MotivAider beckoned, so I decided to do a very short WBTB, just long enough to program it and set it up before going back to sleep. I set the vibration to its minimal length (two seconds), programmed it to go off in random intervals up to 45 minutes, and placed it in the case of my leg pillow, where I should be able to feel it through the fabric. (I am a side sleeper and always use an extra pillow between my knees.) I thought the vibration would be too disruptive if it was near my head, so I wanted it somewhere closer to my feet. I returned to bed at 5:20am. I lay awake for a while with anticipation, and eventually decided I had better also put the vibration on its weakest setting, so I reprogrammed the device by the light of my phone.

At some point I must have drifted off to sleep, and then I felt the device go off. But something had gone wrong: the vibrations were pulsing repetitively without cease. I tried to ignore them, but they seemed to be going on for over a minute. I decided I must have programmed the device incorrectly, so I got up and took it out of the pillow, setting it aside. Tomorrow I could figure out what the problem was.

Shortly after that I was walking through the house, and I noticed something odd. Glancing through the sliding glass door in the kitchen, I saw that the water level of the river next to the house had risen way too high. In fact, the water was coming right up to the base of the door, like it was on the verge of flooding in. This observation was so startling that it made me realize I must be dreaming... maybe the EILD had worked after all! Had I ever really gotten up, or had it all been an FA?

In retrospect there was something very intriguingly incomplete about the observation that prompted me realize that I was dreaming. Through the door, I could see a vast sea of water that I interpreted as a wide river, with just a strip of land visible a mile or two distant on the other side. The water looked entirely natural, brownish-hued, its surface sleek and reflective of the warm pre-dawn light. At no point, even after I fully realized I was dreaming, did it occur to me that there is no such river next to the house, much less a broad vista of this kind... the only body of water visible in that direction is an in-ground pool of the conventional turquoise hue on a concrete patio bounded by thick trees that block any view further into the distance. Yet only thing that seemed odd to me in the dream, even after getting lucid, was the high level of the encroaching water, not the improbable existence of the vast river!

Probably because I have been thinking about dream music again, I was inspired to turn my observation into a song. "If there's water near the house, it's a dream," I sang, repeating the line several times to reinforce the association, just in case it came up again in the future. Then I wondered which tasks to work on. I decided to try StephL's lucid dare (enter an enchanted forest, look for an elven gathering and learn a new song from them), which I thought would pair well with the October bonus TOTM (create a song on a musical instrument that doesn't exist in waking life). No sooner did my thoughts turn to the bonus task than I could actually hear ambient music in the air around me, like notes plucked from a stringed instrument. Perhaps I should have paused and investigated—I could probably have found a suitable instrument to fulfill the task—but I already had a plan in mind for getting to the enchanted forest, so I walked out of the house through the front door.

Traveling to a forest on foot hasn't been working well for me in my TOTY attempts (I tried it in Hansel and Gretel a couple times), so I had been pondering alternate strategies. One possibility simply involved growing trees around me in the house until the environment around me transforms into a forest, but another approach I found appealing was to try to use the little fir tree growing outside the front door as a portal.

It was three or four years ago that I bought this little tree at the grocery store one December and that year used it as a miniature Christmas tree (at the time it was only about two feet tall). Afterwards I put it outside in the front yard. Improbably it thrived, more than doubling in size, and apparently seemed to be doing well with no care other than being watered by the automatic sprinklers that went on briefly every morning, so I left it alone. Then one day I went to move it and discovered the secret reason it was flourishing: its roots had apparently gone right through the bottom of the pot and grown directly into the ground! I am impressed by the resourcefulness of this sapling, so I had the idea of approaching it in a dream and asking it to transport me to the enchanted forest.

When I opened the front door, I was surprised to see snow on the ground. This is probably because last night I was looking up pictures based on the search term "winter forest" to incubate appropriate visual impressions. However, since I live in a climate where snow is impossible (it has been in the nineties the last couple days!), I immediately recognized that this was more evidence of the dream state, so I added a new line to my song: "If there's snow on the ground, it's a dream." Looking over at my little tree, I saw that it was also covered in snow, and added another line, "If there's snow in the branches, it's a dream." Since I was already singing, I saw no reason to stop. I walked over to the tree, grasped its narrow trunk, and requested in song, "Take me to the enchanted forest, the enchanted forest of dream!"

Unfortunately, I promptly woke up. Normally I might have been annoyed that the dream ended before I could accomplish anything, but this time I didn't mind because it was such an amusing first success for my new EILD device!

Sure enough, the whole experience turned out to be a false awakening: when I got up to start my report (at 6:10am), I discovered that I had never removed the device from the pillow like I remembered doing. And this indicates that it must not have malfunctioned after all, and that the extended sequence of vibrations I felt was most likely an experience of time dilation conditioned by the dream state.

August 14, 2014

---

I Shall be so Late!

I was a few days into my Fall Placement, and I was super late for my class. School starts at 8:45, so I have to be there at least by 8:00 to help my mentor teacher set up the classroom and get ready for the students; but I didn't get there until 9:00, and came in partway during the first day of class. My MT was super nice but disappointed and said she really needed to have me in the class earlier.

I was late the next day as well.

And the next. My MT was getting angry with me, and said that if I was late one more day she would find a different intern and I would fail my fall placement. I was scared, so I stayed out until it was dark, drinking. I wasn't DRUNK drunk, but I was tipsy, and waiting for a bus. I felt like I was in Germany again but I know I wasn't. I accidentally got on the 4 bus, when I need the 2 line. I got off at the next stop, which wasn't too far away from a stop the 2 line goes to, but the neighborhood was sketchy, and there was a large park on the other side of the road, mostly pitch-black except for a small lit portion near a street lamp. there were three figures under the light, and they started walking toward me. I saw the bus coming, thank goodness, and got on the bus. I thanked the driver, but he was confused.





Car Race

I was in a car race, which had a scavenger hunt type event at the very end. I met a guy during the race, and he said that I was an important person in his quest to save the world, or something. Okay maybe it wasn't saving the world. He was writing a song for his son, who had just died at only 6 months old. The lyrics were profoundly inspiring in the dream, but I can't remember them now. I remember that he had written this song when his son was born, but the lyrics fit for his death as well, with the addition of a simple "goodbye." He needed my voice and the voices of people in a choir I was part of. We were supposed to sing it. And it was so beautiful, and so filled with love, but also so melancholy and full of mourning.

Dream 1:
I'm on the phone to Tash S. I hang up by accident and call her back even though I knew I had pre-paid and usually a tight ass when it comes to calling people. Her Mum answers and say's ''is that you Dean? Tash has a guy around''. Tash is now talking to me, and I make it quick, cause I don't want to be rude and stay on phone when she has a guest.

I'm at my old house in Crystal G's, but Tash lives here. She's in her bed room and the door is closed.

Dream 2:
I'm outside a house near St agatha's with Ash K and I'm trying to remember a chorus from a song. I write it down on the footpath with a weird substance? soapy? We both laugh about the lyrics I have written down, which are wrong, but Ash knows which song I'm talking about. I can see the song on youtube. The original of the song is sung by a Chinese band which is spelt similar to this ''A1L0UD733T''. There's an English version of the song which is sung by The Beatles. I play the English version and realize I was pretty off with my choice of lyrics.

Dream Fragment:
Collingwood beat Lions by 5 points (105 - 100). I see the MCG.

I need to accept that I have woken up without moving and can try to DEILD. I try and bring on a scene and I notice a small scene of a tree with no leafs on it (Sky View).

I fell asleep after 2 AM.

One dream:

> I saw XTC - Andy Partridge, Colin Moulding, David Gregory and Terry Chambers - Play "Towers of London" In front of me. First they shot a video outside by a river of them miming playing it, Then they shot video or audio inside while playing it. However, It sounded different and more like friend Mark's playing of the Mrs. Robinson song. I caused the video to be a little shaky when I moved the cameras (They were mounted on a moving log or the band was). I thought of this as I moved along a river.

> Les Claypool came to mind for some reason along with a well in a corner in a house where (In waking life as of 9-13-2013) a computer was. A manual water hand-pump was there. I also did something and woke up.

#180 - 7:07AM - DEILD/DILD - 3 of 3

The alarm clock went off at 7am. I let my wife be the one to hit the snooze because I wanted to go for a DEILD. I was a little disappointed that I missed so many opportunities to become lucid after the first two LDs. I didn't move a muscle or open my eyes and focused on the back of my neck. I got weak vibrations right away. I continued a little longer hoping that they would get more intense like usual. Another bad idea.

I found myself non lucid in a public restroom that looked a lot like a home bathroom. I take a leak in a normal toilet (not a urinal). A miniature version of Ms. Page (I'll leave the first name off to protect the innocent. ), an ex girl friend of mine that later became a good friend, is sitting on the back of the toilet with her boyfriend chatting away. I say something about privacy and go to a row of sinks to wash my hands. There is a soft soap pump bottle and when I squirt some out I knock over the bottle. The top was loose and liquid soap spills all over the counter. I notice several men on either side of me washing their hands. Embarrassed, I say out loud, "Ooops. Sorry, I'm still half asleep." I pause. Still... asleep. DING! The light comes on.

I realize I am dreaming and for fun, look into the mirror. I smile real big at my self and make funny faces. I'm really excited that I am lucid and it shows on my blurry face in the mirror. I leave the bathroom with no real task in mind and go exploring.

There's a slight memory gap but I was basically running around what looked like a shopping mall laughing manically and being overly hyper. I end up busting in some door that went into some office space in the back part of the mall. There are several women sitting at a conference desk. For some reason the song Hey Ladies by the Beastie Boys pops in my head. I confuse the lyrics a little and loudly sing, "HEY LADIES! WHERE'S ALL THE SINGLE LADIES IN THE HOUSE!?" My intentions were never sexual and judging by all the bored and disinterested stares that I got in reply, I think my subconscious knew it.
I say, "What? Really? Nobody?"

Then I remember that I saw Ms. Page in the bathroom and began to regret that we haven't talked in a long time in waking life. I see a corded phone on the conference desk and pick up the receiver to page her. At that moment I realize I have no idea how to page so I fake it. I dial 'star' 'eight', thought about it moment then, 'nine'. I hear a tone on the loud speaker and I speak, "Umm..." I hear my voice over the intercom and to my surprise it sounds very realistic. "(first name) Page please call.." Oh shit what extension? I look on the phone and see some random letters and numbers printed in white on black. I see '*16' and decide thats it. "... extension one six". I thought 'one six' was a little short so I add, "six six." Sure I'll add a few 6's. Why not?As soon as I hang the phone up it rings.
I answer. "Hello?"
I hear a very lively and smooth female voice reply, "Hey! What are you doing?
"Oh", I said. I'm surprised at how much it really sounds like her. "I just wanted to see you. You know... nothing weird. Just wanted to chat and see how things were going. Can you come here?"
She sounded happy about the idea. "Sure I'll see you in a minute." I hang up the phone and decide to walk out of the office into a more public area to keep things from getting awkward.

I find myself in a busy food court and take a seat on a bench looking around for her face in a sea of strangers. I feel the dream getting distorted and hazy so I get up and pace around. I still feel really amped up and decided the pacing was a good idea. My legs feel tense and energetic and what I really want to do now is go for a run but I force myself to calm down and wait. I'm curious if she will actually show up.

I come up behind one woman that I think might be her and quickly give her a friendly hug from behind but when she turns around it doesn't really look like her. I just go with it hoping she will change. I say, "Hi! It's good to see you again." The woman just glares at me. I notice now that she is a blond and my friend was never blond and now her face is all wrong. I say to her, "Oh sorry. I thought you were someone else."
She hatefully and sarcastically replies, "Uh yeah.. You think?" and storms off.
I shout after her, "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?"

I search around some more and spot Ms. Page sitting on the bench that I was just at. I walk over and sit next to her. She is holding a toddler and I remember that she was pregnant the last time I talked to her in walking life. I study her face for a moment to make sure. It looks just like her but her face is a little shifty. I shrug that off as normal.
"Oh hi!" I said. "I forgot that you had another kid! What's her name?"
She starts talking excitedly but now the dream is fading. I take her left and and hold it in both of mine. I don't care anymore what she is saying and I begin to softly stroke the back of her hand for stability. It's not working and I shush her so I can concentrate.
Showing real concern she asks me, "What wrong?"
I say, "Oh nothing really. It's just that I'm waking up now and I don't want to." The scene fades to black.

I see another scene forming but force myself awake as I know my time must but almost up. The dream felt like it went on for a long time and I was afraid to forget.

The alarm goes of for the second time once I start to DJ in my phone.

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Other info: My sleep schedule went overboard again. At least we have proven again that bad schedule results in more deep sleep, less dream recall and diminishing LD chances.

Dream recall method: None. I really felt like giving it all up and skipping the DJ today, but forced myself to write those fragments before they were gone.

Dream1: I am watching a show of some kind and am in the audience. Initially this thing was supposed to start late in the evening, but it got postponed so it began at 4.00 am. Towards the end of it, it is 11.00pm the same evening, and I find it a bit strange that it finished earlier than it began. There are a lot of parents with their small kids and they complain that it is getting really late and their kids need to be in bed. So the show is just about to finish. My mom is sitting next to me. Most of the audience at this point consists of black older women. There is a moderator kind of like Oprah. Music starts to play and everybody begins to clap hands church style. I am trying to move my body in the rhythm but something in me doesn’t wanna do it. I can’t do what they expect me to. Next thing, a song from the 60ies begins to play, a song which I knew in the dream very well. Once more, everybody including my mom knows the moves of this song. It is a strange sequence of finger moves around the head and on the face. My mom encourages me to participate, but again I just can’t do it because this time for real I have no idea what the moves are, so I feel a bit stupid.

Fragment2: I am going back in some place where I see an old friend of mine. It looks like he has made a huge mess, there is lots of water and dirt on the floor and he is trying to clean it with a mop. I wonder if I should do something about it but it looks like he is finishing up. I take some cauliflower from the floor and throw it in the trash. I go back to look for my friend, wondering whether I should tell him about LD and what he will think about it.

Fragment3: Another friend of mine. I was wondering if he is really back. Don’t remember much, but I perceived him very vividly, I guess because I couldn’t believe it was him.

Fragment4: I look around and notice that I am in some German looking city. I say to someone that this looks like the same city I went to a concert a while ago. [I had a very long and vivid dream where I went to a concert in a small German city a few months ago. That dream concert was really cool!]. Then I look around and see that perhaps it’s not the same city.

Fragment5: I was reading a post on DV.

Note to self: “I am going to bed on time tonight. I will notice every feeling I have when falling asleep”.

NOTES:

- photo above was my computer's desktop background since I thought of trying TOTM
- was reading Sivanson's and Sageous' thread
- slept around 9:20 pm
- did Triple Gem, breath focus, loving-kindness, 9 purif. breath, and let myself go to sleep without willing to lucid, only to remember
- woke up in the middle of the night, willed myself back to sleep after telling myself it's a WBTB (I didn't stand up and do normal stuff though).
- woke up around 4 am.

LUCID:

I woke up finding myself right outside of our house in my hometown right at noon. I realized with excitement that I am lucid, and started to wonder what to do. Then I remember the TOTM! I stood and looked at the sky.

I looked up at the sky and willed it to snow. It was high, freakin' noon, with only a few clouds and a warm sun. Also, I never experienced snow in my life (it never snows in our country). I raised my arms and looked at the clouds, and the sky started to darken as the clouds move to my command. Then it becomes night, but still no snow. However, as it became night, I saw the aurora borealis! It was lovely (we never see auroras here in our country)! But then it wasn't my goal. Not yet, and I let it dissipate.

I continued willing it too snow, and I then felt the first cold snow drop on my arms! I was ecstatic! It was a slow snow, and it didn't pour down as strongly as I wanted to, but it snows! Then I started singing, "We wish you a Merry Christmas" while walking back and forth in our yard. I can barely remember it now, but I chose it because it's such a short song. I remember singing the part "Good tidings we bring" and then "We wish you a Merry Christmas" again.

Finally, I thought it is time to go up and the sky and talk to the person or being or anything that creates the aurora. I flew up and fell on our roof. I jumped again to fly but fell down again. I lost lucidity.

NON-LUCID:

I was inside my room in our hometown. It was dark; the light was off. I was worried because my computer might be connected the entire night.

I was waiting for a jeep outside the street. The ground was wet. It looked gloomy, like rain just poured in our is about to.

I am inside the mall, talking to friends. We were waiting for something. RF and Gg are there, along with a couple of guys. They look like two guys I know from college. Unimportant.

Commentary non-lucid

I was on vacation for the weekend and didn't have a great chance to work on my dreaming. I had one dream that was memorable that I will relate.

I went on a walk with my family. To my dismay, my dad brought along the family dog . While walking, it started shitting. It went several times in a large circle and made what looked like a mushroom fairy ring. The problem was that we didn't have anything to pick it up with. My dad was about to walk back to the apartment to get a plastic bag but I just wanted to get on with our walk. I walked into the street where there was a lot of trash. I thought there would be some bags available. There were but they were mostly dirty. I found one that was fairly clean and started cleaning the crap. Some punk rock looking people arrived and one of them who was pretty large started helping me put crap in my bag. He missed and the crap landed on my shirt and pants. I got pissed and started to argue with him. He was giggling that he did it and I wanted to start a fight. I put up my hands into fighting position and took on the form of many different fighters that I've seen including an old man fighting a young whippersnapper, a kung fu fighter, and some others. As this transformation was occurring, me and the guy started to lose our anger and it became fun. Other concerned people were descending upon us, about to break us up. I turned and reassured them with a song.... "It's just a faaaantasy, no need to woooory. It's just a faaaantasy...something something something." I don't know if this meant that I knew that I was dreaming or that I knew that we were just play fighting.

Later, I was in a house where a party was occurring. I don't recall much now, but I know that at one point my grandfather died. I felt bad because it was my fault. At that, he came back to life and then just disappeared. We were like, "he disappeared!"

Some people were trying to take a picture with me, but I didn't know who they were.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #12: Whistling the "Ashokan Farewell"

I'm walking past a school building with Wife. For reasons I can no longer remember, I'm clutching a handful of documents.

It's close to dusk and the sky is growing red. I look up as we walk beneath the branches of a live oak and suddenly I'm lucid. I stop walking and look down at the papers in my hand. On top is a piece of sheet music that I can't read. I try to think of what I had intended to do and I (incorrectly) think that I wanted to perform a piece of music that I know from waking life.

I tell Wife that I'm going to whistle "a song from the Civil War" that I know from childhood. (I looked this up -- I meant Ashokan Farewell, a song that is actually from the Ken Burns documentary on the Civil War. I had not thought of this song in many years.) Wife laughs, saying, "Only you would pick a song like that." She waits to listen. I whistle a few bars of "Ashokan Farewell" before I wind up accidentally turning it into "The First Noël".

Once I'm done with the chorus I decide that it's time to fly. I realize that I've completely forgotten to stabilize the dream and I feel myself losing my grip on the experience. Suddenly flustered, I'm frozen in place as the dream scene collapses around me.

I attempt to DEILD back into the dream scene but sleep won't come. My alarm clock rings a few minutes later.

A symbol. Ouroboros. A store promo. Two drinks. I bought a lot already. Supermarket or grocery. Nonfood items. 125 + 150. I talked to a woman who looked like some sort of executive. She said she's busy and ignored me.

A room with a cute young boy. He went out the bathroom. I brought me and my laptop to another room. A house. After celebration. Drinks. 10:30 a.m. Song: nothing but your t-shirt on.

I come to school wearing a red sweatshirt and holding a bag. I walk into the area where 6th graders wait for school to start (I'm an 8th grader and usually wait in the 8th grade area) and slowly all the 8th graders start to appear. I tell my friend that I listened to bohemian rhapsody and I had heard it before, I just didn't know it was called that. I mention how weird the music video is, and he says 'well yeah, they're Queen!'

Side note, what do you call a dream that looked like waking life and even when you wake up seemed pretty normal except for a few minor details?

I had a dream I was listening to this band. I don't recall the lyrics but I liked the song. There was a female vocalist who was also playing the piano. A guy was playing a violin and another guy playing a bass with a violin bow as well. All I know is the band's name started with a 'C'. The song they were playing I'm sure was a song that hasn't been written before or sung in real life. However, I feel that they actually may be a real band, even though the song was imaginary. If the band does sound familiar, give the name of them. Remember I said the band name starts with a C.

That was back in 2003, looking back from now though, I think the band was the Cruxshadows I was seeing in my dream, just not accurately. The Cruxshadows is one of my favorite bands now.

www cruxshadows com/