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It's getting worse...

03.03.2013

Disturbing Sleep Paralyis (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I become lucid as I'm driving down the road, though it's a pretty low level. I feel as though it is important to drive to my mom's house, as that's where I was headed before becomming lucid.

I get distracted, and slide into sleep paralysis. At first, it is normal SP. I lie there, not really caring about anything. It feels nice and somewhat relaxing. But as I slide deeper into it, the vibrations become disturbingly intense, to the point that I feel like I am convulsing on the bed. Not for the first time, I question whether or not I'm having a seizure.

I focus on my breathing, trying to make it as fast and abnormal as possible to jar myself awake. I seem to have good control over this, but it is not helping matters any. My eyes are open; I am lying on my back with my head tilted just enough to the right to see my clock. 7:59. I remember Alex, my roommate, saying that she is going to get up at 8:00 to do some homework (We are both taking naps at this time). I hope she will get up soon so it will wake me up.

Desperately, I try to call out to her. It seems as if I'm actually able to do this (though I later find out it is all a hallucination.) "Alex!" I call out in a dry, raspy voice. "Alex!" I see her sit up in bed. She looks at me in confusion.

"Wake me up," I plead. It is a struggle to get the words out.

"What?" she asks. I think that it probably sounds weird of me to ask her to wake me up.

"I can't move," I moan.

She gets out of bed and makes her way towards me, but she stops in the middle of the room. I am worrying that I'll scare her by jolting awake when she touches me. I then worry that I might not wake up at all, and I'll be stuck like this forever. I notice she's not coming any closer, and I wish she'd hurry up.

After a moment, I jolt awake for real. I think that I'm still looking at Alex, but I soon realize that I've been seeing her poster across the room the whole time. She is still in bed asleep.

02.06.2013

More Sleep Paralysis- Succubus Attack (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am lying in bed awake, with my eyes closed. Alex has just left the room, and I'm contemplating getting up early since I only have about 15 minutes left before my alarm goes off anyway.

I suddenly get pulled into SP, however, and no longer have a choice in the matter. I momentarily think about fighting it, but I am tired and know that it won't be long before my alarm will snap me out of it.

Alex is talking to me, and I have to keep reminding myself that she is not really in the room. I really want to turn this into a dream so I won't just be stuck in SP for 15 minutes suffering through these annoying vibrations. They are more powerful than ever, to the point that an intense pain is pulsating through my ribs. This is definitely not normal...

The pain is getting to be pretty overwhelming, but I am still not in the mood to struggle to get out of SP. If I could just pull myself into a dream, things would be better. I try to focus on dreaming, but am distracted when a succubus shows up and a long scene ensues that I am not going to describe here. ._.

01.16.2013

Sleep Paralysis (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I suddenly become conscious of myself, paralyzed and floating in the black void between dreams. I am not concerned about anything; I just passively wait for a dream to pull me in. It seems as though it's taking longer than normal.

Eventually the faint buzzing of my body grows into great roaring vibrations, far more powerful than normal. It is unpleasant, but I recognize the feeling of being pulled towards a dream, so I do not fight it.

Suddenly I am "waking up" in a chair, with my head hanging uncomfortably back off the arm. "How did I fall asleep in this chair?" I wonder groggily, painfully pulling myself to a sitting position. I do not suspect that I'm dreaming at all. I am wondering how I got back into a house that no longer exists, but more pressing concerns distract me: my teeth seem to be misaligned so that my mouth cannot close properly, and I taste blood.

I stumble to the bathroom and am horrified to find that I have a disgusting looking underbite. My teeth slide together painfully when I try to close my mouth. I push my teeth back and close my mouth the right way, but whenever I open my mouth my teeth go all crooked again. Freaked, I suddenly am reminded of the taste of blood. I start spitting up large globs of blood all over the sink.

Okay, this is definitely a dream. I remember the sleep paralysis now, and find myself silly for not seeing this sooner. However, the sleep paralysis overtakes me once more before I get a chance to move. The feeling is once again extremely unpleasant, so much that I struggle to wake up.

I succeed briefly. I wake up, then roll over and immediately go back to sleep.

Now I am in a doctor's office, talking to a nurse about my sleep paralysis and the possibility that I have some kind of sleeping disorder. She laughs at me derisively, as if she doesn't believe me. She instructs me to go into this small room to take some kind of test, which I assume will verify that my problem is legitimate. It is a small room with a desk and a computer screen- no keyboard or mouse or anything.

I sit in front of the computer. Suddenly a demon comes out of it with a horrible demonic chattering filling my head. I can tell it is trying to drain my energy. I become lucid once more. "I'll just force it back into the screen with my telekinesis," I think, not worried in the slightest. But when I hold out my arm and try to exert my will upon it, the demon shoots up my body and drags me back into sleep paralysis.

The demonic chattering accompanyied with the thundering vibrations in my head and body is almost unbearable. I struggle, but any movemment I succeed in making is never with my real, physical body. Somehow I manage to open my eyes. At first, I don't believe they are my real eyes, because I am still entirely paralyzed, but I manage to focus on my clock. It is hard for my eyes to focus on the numbers, but I make out 2:34.

I am getting really concerned, wondering if I'm actually having some kind of seizure. It is a struggle to keep my eyes open, but I concentrate as hard as I can on the clock to keep them from closing so I do not have another endless cycle of false awakenings and more sleep paralysis. I HAVE to wake myself up.

The air is shimmering and moving, the way heat looks coming off a hot blacktop in the summer, and that demented chattering is still screeching horribly in my head. Am I really being attacked by a demon? I cannot move any part of my body except my eyes and possibly my mouth (though it's hard to say if it's my REAL mouth that is moving), so I instead quicken my breathing. If I start breathing really fast and irregularly, maybe it will jolt me awake.

After a few more agonizing moments, the heavy breathing really does force me awake. I am panting heavily, my heart pounding. I look at the clock. The time confirms that my eyes were actually open, as it is now a few minutes after 2:34. After I compose myself and go back to sleep, I have more disturbing dreams, but no more sleep paralysis.

I'm at my boyfriend's mother's house watching the dog for her while she's away. I fall asleep on the couch.
There's a a faint buzzing that grows louder when I tilt my head back. I recognize the noise and the heaviness in my limbs for sleep paralysis. I wonder what it would be like if I couldn't control it and remember how frightening it used to be. I entertain the thought that I can convince myself I really can't move and that it will lock me in the dream. Out of the corner of my eye I see a large spider on the top of the couch. It's red and blends in with the throw on the back cushions.
I jar myself awake, then allow myself to drift off. Then I fight it and twitch my hand. I snap briefly into awareness and then fall asleep again.
The buzzing gets louder. I get stuck, thinking I've fallen asleep with one eye open, and that is a doorway into letting my spirit walk from my body, I try to grasp the feeling. It feels pointed. Precise. Small. Like knowing that if I can still see the world, I will dream into it instead of into my head. I lose track of the thought and I close my eyes, now they are both open and I'm dreaming. I realize it's a dream when I see that my boyfriend's mother is home and making dinner in the living room, there are three ovens in there and she confuses me by putting plates of sandwiches in each one.
I hear the dog's claws clicking on the floor as he gets up and leaves the room. My limbs still feel heavy.
More buzzing. I think I can hear music but when I try to focus on it the sound loses distinction.

Night of 11/8/12

I am standing in my room when I notice a small yellow jacket flying around. Great, how did a bee get in here? I am looking for something to smash it with, when suddenly a whole SWARM of bees is in the room, covering litterally every inch of the walls. Completely freaked out, I bolt from the room, screaming, swatting bees out of my hair.

Out in the hallway, I realize Alex (my roommate) is still in the room sleeping. "Alex!" I yell. "Alex! You'd better get out here before the bees sting you!" But as I look around the hallway, I notice to my extreme horror that it is also filled with bees! Is it a yellow jacket plague!? What do I do??? There is nowhere for me to walk without upsetting the swarm. I am so alarmed that I jolt into a false awakening.

Now I am standing beside my desk, telling Alex about my dream. Before I can get more than a few words out, however, she suddenly freaks out and points at my wall. There, is a small bee-like insect. "Don't worry," I tell her nervously, "that must have been what caused me to have the dream."

But as I get a closer look, I see that it is not a bee at all: it is a tiny demonic looking fairy wearing a gas mask. The fairy gives me a look that clearly says, "You'd better not tell anyone you saw me."

I immediately grab Alex and drag her out into the hallway to tell her what I saw. Out in the hallway, however, we are alarmed to find the massive swarm of yellow jackets! "This is just like my dream!" I shriek, before doing a reality check.

No wonder. I'm still dreaming.

Another false awakening. Now, I am in the bathroom with Alex, Jake, Sadie (my cat), and Roxie (Jake's dog). Roxie turns into a clone of Sadie. They alternate between hissing at each other and rubbing against each other affectionately. "What's up with them?" I ask Jake.

"Oh, they do that all the time," he says nonchalantly.

I bend down to pet them. At first, they purr and lean into my hand. Then, Jake says, "And that's what demon cats do."

Suddenly, the cats become completely feral and tear up my arm. It hurts a bit, but it is also accompanyied by a feeling so terrible, a feeling of complete and utter horror, that I am once again jolted into a false awakening.

This time, I am lying in bed in my dark room. Freaked out, I instantly do a reality check and determine that I'm still dreaming. A dark skinned girl with long hair sits at the foot of my bed, holding my large HP Lovecraft book. She is rambling about aliens crawling through her ears to her brain. I instinctively know that she's about to enact some sort of dream torture upon me, and I'm screaming at her to go away. I am stuck in sleep paralysis, unable to defend myself.

As a last resort, I close my eyes and let the darkness wash the dream away. I'll wake up in a better dream, I'll wake up in a better dream, I think to myself frantically, but a feeling of utter terror has taken over the entire atmosphere, and I know the next dream will be worse than the last.

I struggle to get out of sleep paralysis and into the real world, but every time I open my eyes, the most terryfying figure is looming over me. He has incredibly long arms which are wrapped tightly around me, pulling me out of reality toward a worse nightmare. His face is the most twisted, demented thing I've ever seen, it can't even be described with words, and he's wearing a large top hat.

Knowing that it is just a dream does not protect me from the agonizing feelings that he is inflicting in me. I am still frantically struggling to wake myself up, but each time I pull myself from the paralysis enough to do a reality check, I am still dreaming!

After what seems like ages, I finally jolt awake, panting heavily. I am instantly annoyed with myself for breaking my most important rule: DON'T WAKE YOURSELF UP.

This is a medium length non-lucid dream, from which I remember little things but suffecient enough to log it.

So we left for an unknown/unremembered destination and had fun inside the school bus, don't remember what we did, but I remember kind of what was going on. We arrive at some building which was simillar to the campsite's buildings and we start to unpack our stuff. I find somewhere I don't remember a little chocolate and I keep it. For no obvious reason, as we unpacked and through the whole dream, my dad was in the corner of the street with his car watching.

So they have our stuff in a truck like vechicle on the back side, and we gather them. Suddenly, I remember I've forgotten some stuff on the truck and was afraid it left but it was there. Went to take my stuff but found other stuff that was supposingly mine but didn't remember bringing them, like food (croissants, chips etc) and I had forgotten to take clothes. Another kid near there had forgotten to take clothes and we joked about it.

So as I have kind of arranged my stuff and I'm eating a creme and praline croissant I just opened (it was delicious I can tell you, one of the things I do remember from dreams is taste), there comes a friend of mine but not from the campsite environment, from my school. He tells me "dude, your sister (which was with me in the excursion) just went for sleep! She sleeps so deep, I have never seen her so exhausted! (he has never seen her anyway)" And I tell him ok,whatever.

And somewhere at this point I wake up. The thing that pissed me off is that I woke up in SP and I wasn't aware of it, but stayed still, and thoughts were coming in my mind like "if you keep standing still, you will never be able to move again" and my body felt weird so I jumped up and when I understood what has just happened, I was like "fuck you organism, with your center of fear! You aint fooling me again bitch!"

Anyways, stuff like that happens, but I felt like a total noob at this point!

I had a dream this morning that I was looking at sheet music. I turned the page, and the next page was what it should have been. I went back to the first page of the music, and it had turned into the page of a manga. "I must be dreaming," I said as I was suddenly snapped back to my bed. Unfortunately, I could feel my dream eyes closing, which meant I was waking up. I opened my eyes and realized I had woken up in sleep paralysis. I could move my fingers a little bit, but even that was really difficult. I knew it was important to stay calm, so I focused on keeping my breathing steady to keep myself calm. I figured I'd "wake up" from SP if I just stayed calm and kept my eyes open.

Then, I got the idea to use this as an opportunity for DEILD. I closed my eyes, hoping to transition back into a dream. Before long, my ears started ringing, which I'd heard was common during SP. It'd stop whenever I opened my eyes, though.

Eventually, I just woke up - for real - instead. I was pretty sure the SP had just been a dream because it had had that "hazy" feel to it, and I was also fairly certain I hadn't been holding my Link plushie, which I would've been holding if I was awake (though I can't say for certain that I wasn't, since I didn't look down at my hand and could barely move).

I soon fell asleep and had another dream. In this dream, an old lady who looked to be about 90 or 100 walked into a doctor's office, sat down on the chair, and said, "Goodbye, humans. I'm the president's own woman."

Awake/SP, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in an elaborate, fantasy landscape. I fall over the side of a cliff and start falling down the side of a mountain, which has terraces in it and lots of trees, but the trees are all growing out of the side of the mountain. As I fall, I think, I could expect there to be a soft, grassy field below me for me to land on, and there would be one. I try to do exactly that, but it doesn't work. Eventually, I remember that I can fly, and fly back up to the top of the cliff/mountain.

[That's all I can remember now of an awesome, detailed, elaborate lucid dream that was remarkably long for my first sleep cycle of the night. I was really, really determined to have a lucid dream last night, and my determination and MILDing worked. I also remember choosing to stay in and prolong the dream at least twice, but I don't remember any more details. I really should have taken a moment to write them down in my paper dream journal after I woke up.]

[Later, different part of the night.] I feel, more clearly and with more awareness than I ever have before, all my major muscles transitioning into their paralyzed state. After a moment, a dream begins to form. Some Viking-warrior-looking guys who look like they came straight out of a movie by Aardman Animations are standing over me, watching me wake up. We're all in a big wooden hall. The dream is very weak, fuzzy, and indistinct, though, and although I try to focus on it, it fades away before I can get into it fully. This can be partially blamed on the fact that I'm completely fascinated by the experience I've just had, and this novel feeling of being “stuck” in my sleeping body while still being consciously aware.

Welcome to SP, I think. That wasn't so bad, was it? I lie still and observe the experience. Although I'm conscious, in a way I never am in waking life, of my breathing happening automatically, I feel like I'm not getting enough air. I realize that that's because I have my forearms crossed over my chest so that their dead weight is resting right on top of my ribcage. I can feel my left-hand fingertips touching the skin of my right arm, but I feel removed from the sensation. I hope for another dream to start, but it doesn't. I attempt to visualize a scene, but it's a very halfhearted effort and doesn't go anywhere. Also, I have my head tilted to my right at an awkward angle, which makes me think, I'm going to feel that in the morning. After a few minutes, I get bored and decide to get up and use the restroom. I have no problem getting back to normal wakefulness.

Side notes:
I've always been afraid to try WILDing because I'd never experienced sleep paralysis, and I was afraid that I might experience hypnagogic hallucinations or sensations that would frighten me. This was the first time I'd ever really experienced SP. It was cool and weird, but not frightening at all, and I didn't experience any hypnagogic hallucinations. Getting over your fear of something is always nice.

Dream - Lucid

This first part wasn't a dream, but it scared the bejeezus out of me.

I woke up and opened my eyes. I started trying to move, but I barely could; it was like an invisible resistance was in place against my arms and legs. I started to panic a little. I tried to scream for help, but barely a sound came out. I kept trying as hard as I could, but all I could get was a rasp. I almost started feeling like my breathing was messed up too.

Then, it just went away. It was like I was experiencing partial SP. I can't say that's ever happened to me before; it was terrifying.

~

I was at the coffee shop I used to work at to ask my old manager for my job back. Only it was very different in there, now that it was under new ownership; it was in a different location, and it was more like a restaurant than a coffee shop. It was kind of dark in there; everything seemed to made out of a dark brown wood. I specifically remember an old couple sitting at a bench by the counter, waiting to be seated.

I kept seeing my old manager running around, and she saw me there as well, but she was so busy, it was hard for her to talk to me. There were a lot of new employees there, people I had never seen before when I did work there. For some reason, I went in the back and put on some work clothes: Black straight-legged pants, a black shirt, and a green apron. It looked like a Starbucks uniform, but the coffee shop wasn't a Starbucks. I saw myself in a mirror with it on. I then thought better of just jumping into work, and left the back room.

I finally caught my manager as she was leaving. We were in the parking lot. She was walking fast and quite a ways in front of me. I asked her
"So, I doubt you can get me my job back, can you?"
She stopped for a second, turned around, and replied
"No. I'm not in charge anymore."
I guess the new owners didn't want her doing the hiring anymore for some reason.

After that, I wanted to go home, then I "remembered" that our house had been sold (we are trying to get it ready to sell IWL) to a couple of guys. I pictured the inside of the house being emptied of our things and replaced with barely any furniture or anything at all. It was kind of sad, since I grew up in this house.

Then, I was back inside the coffee shop, sitting down at a table with my laptop. Everything looked lighter now; even the wood wasn't as darkly colored. I looked up from my computer and to my left, and there was a cute guy staring at me. He had the build of my friend Daniel, and had dark brown curly hair. He had some scruff, but no real facial hair. He was smiling a little as he stared. I smiled back at him, feeling a little flirty.

Apparently, he was one of the new owners of the shop. His name was Solomon, and the shop had been renamed "Solomon's". His wife, Annie, was the other owner. I wondered if it was really Solomon, since he was married and kept giving me flirty smiles. Hmm...

I then learned that he was a huge flirt and a womanizer; he slept with lots of women who came into the coffee shop. For some reason, that didn't really bother me.

I was then approached by Solomon. He asked if he could kiss my neck. I said sure. He then went in to kiss my lips, and I realized I had terrible morning breath for some reason. I could taste it in my mouth, which also felt pretty dry. He then stuck his tongue in my mouth. When he pulled away, he said something about my mouth, like, he asked me if I had done something specific, and if that was why my breath was so funky; I can't remember exactly what it was that he asked if I had done. I said yes. He then kissed my neck. All in all, the breath thing didn't seem to bother him too much.

Then, I saw him standing up by the bathroom with another guy, talking. I knew he was going to try to get a woman to come sleep with him in the bathroom. I wanted him to pick me for some reason. I want to say he somehow messaged me about it or something.

I also remember him being seated again, and giving me another flirty little smile, and me returning it. I felt really good about myself then, like I was desirable. It made me feel confident.

I know, at some point, I wondered about his wife, and if she knew about what he was doing.

Okay, so this morning I had my first DEILD-induced LD! It was at least 5 times more realistic than the DILD ones!

I don't have time to write about the night before now bout maybe I will edit it later as it's important.

black: Side-notes
red: Non-lucid dream
blue: Lucid dream

So, here's the dream:

I'm laying in my childhood room's bed. My eyes aren't open, I just know I'm there (in reality I'm in my real bed). This doesn't seem strange at the time. I feel strong vibrations in the lower half of my body (from my chest to my toes). First I think it's only because some phenomena during meditation can be very strong. But hey! I wasn't meditating for the last 30 minutes! Then I feel the vibrations in every part of my body. I conclude that this must be SP because there is a nearly painful weight-on-the-chest effect too. So I hold still and wait. After about 15 seconds I open my eyes. I stand up, make a reality check, and I am lucid dreaming! Yeah! I want to exercise my strength a little so I try to break in the walls of the house but I don't succeed. Then I go into the living room where I find my friend's sister. My friend suddenly jumps to my back and tries to cover my head with a pillow (a scene from one of my previous dreams that night) but I can evade it. I go out to the yard and I suddenly remember my current goal: Have sex with the girl in the orange swimsuit . So I constantly try to summon her with not much success. Then I walked down the street. When I passed a house, a voice came after me. I turned back and saw a girl standing next to a house and talking to me. I went there, and thought if I don't find the girl I wanted she will be just as good . We went in but then the girl transformed into some old woman in black clothes. She showed me the house which was a bit dirty. I tried to summon the girl I wanted again. I stood in front of a room with closed door and thought: She'll be inside when I open it. I tried it many many times but I could only summon a boy with six eyes, a 300 kg sumo fighter and a woman with a mustache . I think my lucidity started fading here because I did some not-so-normal things like turning knobs on a guitar amplifier to achieve my goal.... After that my vision went away and I woke up for real.

It was a very memorable experience and got me into LDing again after 2 weeks of laziness and it got me think hard on the "What is reality?" topic.

Here was a lucid dream where I had fun but ran into some serious dream control trouble. Still wondering what I might have done differently here.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #9: Sunny Day "Sleep Paralysis" (August 14, 2012)

I'm walking outside of my childhood home on a bright, sunny day. I'm drinking in the scenery "lucid living" style. I get the sense that I'm dreaming and find myself lucid.

I'm calm and I rub my hands together, enjoying the beauty of the scenery. Everything looks very vivid in this dream, with none of the darkness I'd struggled with before. Just to check, I ask for "maximum lucidity" anyway, but nothing additional happens.

My hands look surprisingly normal so I study the sky for a while, enjoying the look of the clouds and the fact that I can stare into the sun without feeling any discomfort.

When I try to move, though, I suddenly realize that I'm flat on my back, completely paralyzed. It's as if the idea of my physical, paralyzed body is intruding on the dream scene.

I struggle to move for a bit, not succeeding. Finally, I attempt an in-dream out of body exit. (This would be a second dream body exiting what I know is my first dream body -- a delightfully weird idea.) I manage to peel a second set of arms out of my paralyzed arms. As my new head and torso start to exit, though, the dream scene collapses and I'm awake in bed.

This one's a real head scratcher. I'm not sure what I should have done differently here apart from trying not to get that mesmerized by the dream scenery. Perhaps I just need more practice with OBE-style exits.

An alternative idea that I had was to imagine that I'm getting dragged down into the ground. That's a bit too "Nightmare on Elm Street" for me, though, so I don't know!

Bedtime 10:30p – 8:30a

1) 1:45a Playing some sudoku like board game with Jess and Megan at our house. I walk into the living room and there are red Christmas lights everywhere. I continue the game on my phone like it was words with friends or something. I also think to play my old supervisor.

I move to recliner and begin attempting WILD. After each NLD I quickly record what I remember on my phone app and resume WILD.

2) 3:29a find myself in SP. I try something a little different to enter the dream. I force myself in a rush to get up out of the recliner. I feel my dream body stumble and fall and then I re-enter SP. This time I relax too much. I have a false awakening.

I have the laptop on my chest and the recliner feels like it is reclining way too far back. I am still trying to WILD. I ear the alarm clock distantly in the bedroom. I wonder how it is 6:00 already. I expect my wife to come looking for me and sure enough I hear her walk in the living room. I just lie still because I really don't want to ruin my WILD. I figure she will just see me asleep and leave. But the computer is on my chest and on. I think she will see a post by RareCola and read it.

Then, I hear her say. “You're going to kill yourself with that.”
I give up my charade. “What?” I look at her as she is going back to the bedroom.
“I said your going to kill yourself.”

I get up because originally I had planned to get up with her at 6 and stay up for 30min and then WILD.
I notice the recliner is turned wrong but when I go to move it there is another recliner in its place but it is a darker brown. The other recline shrinks and slides next the the strange one. I then walk into a strange kitchen. I wake up.

Another SP episode from DEILD. This time I know that I just need to visualize a dream scene and I will enter. For some reason I get too excite and SP fades.

3)4:38a I plant some sort of seed in the crack in the back deck. They are round and small but I don't know what it is. I water is. The water hose floods the area. Then I have another FA. I look next to me and see Janna sitting on the couch. She has marijuana seeds. She tells me she gave a seed to some kids and is worried they will get in trouble. I tell her they probably won't plant it. I go to use my phone app to record the planting dream and I realize “This isn't real”

I wake up briefly

4)I am now watching Johnny Bravo through my window on a TV in my neighbors yard. Then I FA and I am back in my recliner. I feel like I am holding a remote. But wake for real and see I am not.

5)4:42a I am in the recliner. I see Travis and tell him about the fake picture I sent him. He say, “Dude I don't know how those pictures of me get posted.” I explain to him that it was just a look alike with a tramp stamp. He changes the subject.

6)5:28a *LUCID*

For whatever reason I am driving with my wife and another guy was with us sitting in the back but he never says anything. We go down towards my job. It is late in the morning and I decide to just take vacation. I pull into the parking lot. And I tell my wife maybe I should just call it in instead of going in to ask for vacation. Then I notice the time on the car's clock. It is 8:38AM and I realize I can't ask for vacation after 8. So I decide just to use the call in line and not have a vacation day.

Suddenly we are inside in an office. My wife is at a desk typing on a computer. The guy is sitting several feet behind her watching the computer screen. He is behaving like a silent observer. Ignore him completely. I am on the floor putting my shoes on. As I am getting the last shoe on I remember to pay attention to my awareness like I do in RL. I think to myself, “I am dreaming.” But I didn't mean anything. Then it dawns on me. “I AM dreaming!”

I don't have my shoe on but I know it doesn't matter. I look around. I remember to stay calm. I try to focus on various office supplies on the desk. I see things like a coffee mug with pens and pencils in it. Then I look my my wife and see the guy in peripheral vision. I never really look at the guy. Maybe he will be my dream guide. Too bad I forgot to think of that. Anyway I know neither one matters and talking to them at this point would be a waste. They are just DCs.

I stand up and turn around. I see a door that is partially open. It is the only way out of the small room. I briefly remember that if I ever become lucid at work I would have fun with it and do the things I couldn't do in RL. I rush for the door and expect to see the production floor.

I open it and instead... The room I was in is at the end of a long hallway full of doors. Each door goes to a different office. "OK fine. Stay calm. Focus. You are dreaming. Keep awareness." I walk down the hallway and pop into random offices. The walls are wood paneled and with no decor. The doors are those cheap hollow wood doors. They are unpainted and stained a very dark brown. I don't notice the flooring. The color scheme is very bland and boring. All the offices are empty. There are no people anywere. "Ok strange but not that strange for a dream." I hear a phone ring once. I walk into an office room that I thought it came from. I see a desk with computer and a phone that is off the hook. There are a few papers scattered on the desk. I pick the phone up and put it to my ear. I hear nothing so I press zero. I hear a short ring and then, a young woman's voice answers, “Student services.” I think it's odd so I don't say anything. I press the hook with my finger to hang up. I don't hear a dial tone. So I just lay the phone back where it was. I can hear her voice but distantly, “Hello?” The sound of it is as you would expect for a phone away from your ear. I am a little impressed with my subconscious at how vivid the dream is.

I continue down the hall. Now I am looking at double glass doors. It looks really dark outside and I can't see anything beyond the glass. I want to break glass so I rush at it. I can hear my footsteps like I am wearing boots on concrete and I actually feel the impact of my feet on the floor. I note this is really cool for a dream.

I dive head first for the glass but it is soft and doesn't break. I feel my head got stuck. It feels like a wall of Jello. Of course, the natural reaction is to close your eyes. I feel the dream fading. I don't want to lose it so I back out. I re-stabilize myself by looking at the glass doors and focusing. “OK fine. I just want to leave here its boring.” I slowly push the doors with my right hand. There is no sensation and its like the glass is gone but then the door opens and I am looking at the next set of doors. I feel a little frustrated that glass doors are keeping me in this building. I almost feel trapped but I am determined. "Maybe dreams are like being a ghost in the movie Betelgeuse. You can never leave the building. No that's a stupid thought. This is my dream." I push the next doors slowly open.

Then I am immediately engulfed in darkness. I feel myself wanting to wake up. I begin rubbing my hands together. I can feel the friction and heat. It is almost painful. So I stop and clasp my hands together. I am still in the dark void and I think, "Maybe I am awake and I was really doing that with my hands. No, I don't believe it." Then I realize that I in darkness because I just have my dream eyes closed. I slowly open them but cautious not to open my waking eyes. For a moment I am confused because my eyes felt so real. "Am I opening my waking eyes?" So. I only open then halfway. I see that I am at the driver side door of a Grey truck. I decide its safe and I open my eyes fully now. I notice It's not very clear or vivid. The dream quality not as good as it should be. except for my sense of touch. I touch the glass of the door. Solid and feels real. I slap at it a little and am surprised that it sounded normal and I could feel the impact on my hands. Then for some reason I am abruptly jolted awake. I think I heard a noise in the house. It was storming.


7) 8:24a I am going with some people to a house I own. I am renovating and selling. I see a bunch of low class scummy people on the porch. I see a shirtless fat man. His checks hang down real low and he pushes his man boobs together. Somehow it all looks like a giant ball sack. I feel disgusted. I loudly tell someone I don't know how I will ever sale this house will all these kind of people around. I enter the house and the floors are still dusty from sanding the hardwood. There is a little girl there and I kindly ask her to go outside. I wake up.

Non-dream Dream

Dream 1:

I am in the Olympic gymnastics finals doing the floor exercise. I am way ahead of the competition.

Dream 2:

I am climbing Mt Everest for the second time. This time I am with Kelly Bundy (Christina Applegate). She is worried that I will go crazy on her due to altitude sickness. She has some catch phrase that will make her baseball card worth a lot later (?!?). We take a very long and round about way to the top.

I woke up (false awakening) and I am writing all of my previous dream down in my dream journal in extreme detail (at the kitchen table). I went through the entire morning. My wife gets ready for work and is about to leave until she sees me writing in my journal. She says "wow that must have been a good dream." I feel very satisfied and relieved that I am able to remember such a vivid dream. My wife and I leave the house for work and she is following me to get on a freeway. All the while I have some sense that I am dreaming. Some guys are on top of a light post (they kind of flew up there). I try to ignore them so they don't think they are cool. I tell my wife to watch out.

Dream 3:

I keep getting strange messages while I am at work (in the dark). There are strange beings having sex with girls. One looks like a tree-like alien with a large root penis. Another is a sea anenome type thing sucking some chicks p*ssy.

Dream 4:

Suddenly I am in a heated debate with my wife regarding Mike Trout vs Bryce Harper. I am trying to explain how Trout is so much better because not only did he miss a month of the season, but he is also a lead off hitter and his power numbers are so much better than Harper's. She doesn't agree with me (in real life she is on my side).

I have a couple strange dreams such as Mr. Garrison from South Park flying around my room pooping on things and playing silly games. I wake up all of a sudden and I am in my back yard with my two cats on the fence fighting. This is not a common occurrence for my cats so I look into the house to call for my wife. I feel incredible pressure on my head and I am scared. This shock puts me back into my bed but the pressure is still there. I realize it might just be sleep paralysis and that I am safe, so I start focusing on the pressure. A few more images pop in my head and I hear a sound like a radio broadcast. Then I lose the sensation and wake up.

#1 - When Did We Become A Resort? [Non-Lucid]

I don't recall too much about this dream, but I do remember that I was with my family staying at some sort of resort, except the setting was actually just our house. There was some woman in a fancy (and shiny, if memory serves) dress doing inspections around the house/resort, so I had to make sure to hide all of the drug-related stuff in my room before she got there so I wouldn't get in trouble. There had been a lot of drug nonsense going on earlier in the parts of the dream I can't really remember, but I do remember a flash of flying a magic carpet through skyscrapers in a downtown area on LSD. Anyway, the lady showed up and did her inspection, and all that really comes back about it was that I had the slightest desire to try to steal the woman's body from her. There was also some comment about how people kept trying to give us these rectangular cheesecake slices for free, claiming that they were "flannel cake", because it was his birthday. After that, I woke up.

#2 - My Demon Pals [Non-Lucid]

I was walking around my old high school/a wedding that a bunch of people I knew from school were at. Walking around with me were two demon spirits: a skinny, normal-looking guy except for the fact that his face (and especially eyes) just gave off that feeling of evil, and a big, buff guy wearing a fedora and with a cannon for an (at least one) arm. Cannon guy was causing mayhem by shooting cannonballs everywhere, and I was just laughing. There may have been some of my normal friends with me too, but it's hard to remember now. I saw this girl I've known since really early in school, KR, running by me in a wedding dress holding a leash and a long wire for some reason, and I took the wire from her and kept running alongside her. A bunch of other people from the school started running with us and I had the feeling that we were racing each other to this one special location we were all headed towards, just to be like we were carefree kids again like in school. That was fun. However, that image was becoming fainter as it went on, and then I woke up into sleep paralysis. My entire room felt like it was encompassed with a powerful energy, things were constantly pulsing and waving, and my vision was somewhat blurry and distorted, and a bit doubled. There was also a loud white noise that sounded like some kind of demonic language, and occasionally words could be pulled out of it but they didn't have any meaning. I was lying on my back so it was hard to look too far down, but I saw the same skinny demon spirit from the dream standing at the end of my bed, staring at me with those evil eyes. Hey there, specter. I reached out a fantasy arm to him (as my real one was still quite paralyzed), and I felt my imaginary limb twist and bend along with the rest of the energy in the room. The demon just stared at me longer and I tried to give him an "Aw, come on." type of face, but then it all faded away and I was just lying in bed normally. Too bad, I would've liked to see where that could've gone. >w<

i've had sleep paralysis a handful of times, but there are two instances that really stand out:

the first time it happened to me was (i think) eight years ago... i thought i had died. I woke up on my back in the early morning and couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and i felt like there was an incredible weight pressing down on my entire body. It also felt like there was a pair of hands pressing down on my face, contorting my eyes into slits and exposing my teeth. This made my vision blurry and i could even hear air rushing in and out through my teeth. I began hearing voices... most of them just sounded like people screaming really far away, but one was right in my ear. It was a deep voice that was just yelling all sorts of things at me; "FUCK YOU!" and "I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE YOU SORRY!" and stuff. FYI, I don't believe in demons or anything supernatural, but my half-asleep self did at that moment.

the next time it happened was not long after that. Again, it was early morning and i woke up on my back. There was an old man standing in my doorway... nothing special or weird about him, but he still somehow terrified me beyond all description. It seemed very real. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt and brown pants. Just standing there staring. The whole time i could hear a steady beeping, like a heart monitor or something.

It has happened a few times since, but the first two occasions are the only ones i remember well. They were definitely more intense than any other episodes since then.