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Old LD from 10-22-07

I forgot to add this one from a few weeks ago. It wasn't a long one, but it had a lucid moment. I think I'll add it here because I think every moment of lucidity should be accounted for.


Dreams:

I had an interesting stretch of dreams this morning after a WBTB. I even had a lucid moment.


In the dream I was back with my sister that has cancer. [Ususally when I dream about "my sister" I'm talking about my younger sister. My older sister doesn't show up as often.] We were in a little room that was supposed to be in her new-ish house.

We were looking through all these pictures and reminiscing. Then my sister pulled out a large picture and say, "Hey, you've never seen this one yet , have you?" The picture was of myself with her 14 year old son. In the picture he looked more grown up. It was a very flattering picture of us. We both look like we could be models.

I then pulled out a box that not only had pictures but a pair of my sister's socks. The socks were a pinkish tan color with chocolate brown stripes. I told her how cute they were. Then I remembered that they were similar to a pair of socks that she had supposed gotten me for Christmas last year. I figured she had gotten them at the same place.

Then my mom and other sister were there too looking through these boxes with us.

The next thing that I remember is walking through her kitchen and seeing the little black boy there. He was about 3 years old . At first I can't figure out why he is there. But then I remembered that she babysat for a few kids.

I reached out and try to hug this little boy, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I then looked over and see two little black girls. I also try to talk with them and be friendly, but they both walked away from me. I felt bad.


There seems to be a transition here. I think this is still part of the same dream, though.

I was walking though a college campus with a preschool group. One of the little girls was Japanese. She seemed to like me and let me pick her up. We somehow got a little behind the others, so I finally had to run to try to catch up. At one point I tripped and we rolled on the grass. Neither of us were hurt at all. I got up and felt like something was missing, but couldn't figure out what.

I looked a ways ahead and saw the last of the preschool goup head into the store/restaurant. I finally caught up and walked in. The group was now gone. I didn't have the little girl anymore. The lady inside asked me if I wanted any of the free lunch they had been serving to the preschool group. I said, "Sure".

It was then I realized that my purse was missing. I started to panic. I had lost it on the college campus. I knew that it was very unlikely that I would ever see it again. I started telling the lady I was with how I had lost it. She was sympathizing with me.

Then I remember saying, "You know, I think it's going to be okay. When I wake up my purse will be there. It's not really gone. This has happened to me before, and when I woke up the purse was there. I just need to try and stop worrying about it now."

Then I have no idea what happened next. I do know lucidity ended (if it was ever really there to begin with. Even though I was saying that, I never had that "Ah ha, I'm dreaming" moment. This is the first time I can think of there I made reference to myself dreaming with out truly becoming lucid. )


I then remember being in my basement. There was a crack in the wall and my cat was watching some silverfish bugs come out of the crack. She was swatting her paw at them.

I really think something is missing from my memory here. But the next thing I remember is being attacked by these large metal bugs. They were black and about a foot across. one looked like a spider and the other a scorpion.

I was upstairs at this point and I ran down into the basement. I frantically started looking for a hammer or something to smash them with. All I could find were a pair of roller blades. I picked one one of them and when the bugs came down the stairs I started smashing them with the roller blade.

Amazingly they both just fell apart like they were cheap toys. I then ran my hands through the pile of pieces. I suddenly thought about movies that I had seen. I figured it was a very good idea to put the pieces in separate bags to dispose of them, just in case they all came together and came to life again.

Then my alarm went off...

Last night didn't produce anything special dreamwise again. I remembered some fragments, but not enough to merit a proper entry here. So instead we are going to delve into another "classic".

Jakro "Classics" II: Weird Mansion and It's Angry Owner
Date: January 9th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was keeping a fire in the fireplace, but for some reason I somehow removed the burning contents of the fireplace and took them with me outside, next to the shed where we keep our firewood. It was winter and I took the fading fire and placed it onto the snow. Like I said I have no idea how I transported the fire from within the fireplace to outside, nor I know why I did it. The fire wasn't burning very brightly, so I poked the wood a bit to make more space for it to take air - it worked as some old wooden door that was beneath the fire burst into flames like I'd poured gas in it.

This was the time when I realized that it probably isn't the smartest thing to burn wood next to the shed. If it would have caught fire, that would have been catastrophic. The fire did indeed spread to the wood that was inside the shed. I panicked a bit but managed to put down the fire. The fire was out, but I was still nervous in case there was some smoldering.

I switched back inside the house all the sudden. There was my brother and some random buddies of him. I felt like I knew them, even though afterwards I had no idea who they were. My brother gave me his phone, so that I could call our sister to watch the shed in case there's still something smoldering.

For some reason I called my brother's number, which is odd considering I was using his phone! Funny enough, some unknown dude actually answered the phone. There is no mention of the contents of the call, so I take it I didn't move forward much in that discussion. I forgot about the shed as there was a bigger problem.

The group - me, brother and the other guys - weren't in our house at all. It was some kind of strange mansion, and we were lost there. We didn't know how we had ended up there, but we wanted to get away. We were in some kind of dining hall. There were stairs up, but they were collapsed on the upper end. The upper level wasn't that high anyway. On that upper level there were stairs even further upwards. Couple of the other guys planned to get to that upper level by climbing the stairs to as high as they go and then jumping to the upper platform. It was feasible, as the platform was just about within jumping range.

I took the lead and was first to try the jump. I managed to grab onto the edge edge of the platform with my arms, but then the platform collapsed under my weight. The fall wasn't long and I didn't hurt myself, but the other guys were a bit pissed about the fact that there was no way upwards anymore.

In fact, the others succumbed into despair. They talked pure crazy-talk that we are going to starve there as we were stuck. WTF? We were in a mansion, and in a dining hall no less. You'd think there were some food nearby, even more importantly, you'd think someone actually lives there! I wasn't really concerned about starving to death.

I rallied the rest of the bunch and we started to search for a alternative routes away from there. In some room to the side of dining hall we met a little girl. I asked whether there was any other way out except that broken stairway. The girl then asked us to come with her. She took us to a balcony that was high on the house's side, but it had a stairway going down! We had managed to get out.

Not so fast. We were just about to go to the balcony when we bumped into the owner of the mansion. Instantly I was afraid of him - he just seemed to emit this vibe of pure hateful energy. Like he was about to snap at any moment. The worse thing was that he was actually carrying a rifle when he came to us. It was some old-fashioned rifle that was probably at least a couple hundred years old. I remember the gun in vivid detail - it was beautifully decorated throughout, both it's metal and wooden parts. It must have been expensive.

I don't remember exactly what the guy said, but his message was basically this: "I'm glad you are coming out, otherwise I would have had to kill you." Jesus Christ. This guy is a madman, but I figured that out at first sighting.

We were leaving. Somehow I knew that my dad was on his way to come to pick me up from there. I tried to spark up some conversation with the guy in the meantime, just to keep his occupied so that he doesn't get any ideas about torturing and murdering us. He seemed like a that kind of guy. I was about to compliment him about his nice gun, but I never get to that, as he pulled out a dull and bent butterknife.

Yeah. This was the kind of guy that was even more scary when wielding a dull and bent butterknife. He could fuck me up with that. I had no doubts in my mind of that. I tried to defuse the situation by saying assertively "Do not point that butterknife at me!", but instead that actually blew out the situation. Wrong move.

The guy went absolutely nuts. He started shouting that I won't tell him what he can or can't do. I was terrified. "This is it, my life's going to end. Fucked up with a butterknife by some madman."

Finally he snapped fully and started coming towards me. I tried to survive by starting to run away. I ran the stairs down with the guy chasing me down.

Lucky for me, just as I was on the ground level, my dad's car emerged from the road. He stopped his car some way from me and I ran to get on board. I was barely in when I screamed at my dad to step on it. I guess he saw the guy that was coming after me as he quickly obliged.

But I couldn't get the door closed as the lunatic managed to just cut in. Car was already moving and he had to run along to keep up. The madman and I struggled a bit at the door before we finally managed to shrug him off.

Some way away my it was my dad's turn to snap. I was explaining what happened and my dad got so angry, that he made an U-turn and started accelerating back towards the madman's mansion. I presumed that he was going to try to run over the madman. Wow, I didn't know my dad could get so upset over something that he would cold-bloodedly try to kill someone - even if the madman totally deserves it.

Anyway, I was still scared to death. I managed to convince my dad to turn back away as I told him, that the lunatic had a rifle. It was lucky that my dad listened to me.

We drove away from the mansion and had succeeded to escape. My brother and the rest of the crew were forgotten by now, like they never even existed. I guess the managed themselves. Nonetheless this was an uncharacteristically happy ending for a nightmare.

Old LD from 10-21-07


Dream:

I remember I saw my older sister that has cancer. I went up to her and said, "S, how are you doing? How are your legs doing?" [In real life her legs hurt so bad that she's now on crutches or in a wheel chair.]

She talked to me for a few minutes about what the doctors had been telling her. She had all her hair, unlike in real life.

The next thing I remember is that we are now in this park with the rest of the family having a picnic. I remember flying up to these powerlines and then back down.

Doing this made me suddenly lucid. I went up to my sister and said something like, "Oh my gosh, S, I'm lucid! I'm going to take you flying with me."

I took her arm and lifted her into the air with me. I said, "Let's fly to the mountains over there."

She said, "I'm not sure I can make it that far."

I said, "I think you can-- you're with me. But I'll stop when you need to."

We flew out of the park and over the Safeway parking lot and over the stores.

I noticed that music was playing really loud and was distracting me from the experience. I believe the band was INXS. For some reason I was sure that this music was playing in real life. I thought to myself that I needed to try to turn off the music with my real body while still remaining in the dream.

I could feel what I thought was my real body reaching out and turning the knob on my car CD player. [Goodness know what I thought I was doing having my real body asleep in a car] I got the music turned down most of the way, to the point it didn't bother me as much.

We flew a little ways further and then the dream faded.

I thought I had awakened in this motel room where my family was suppose dto be staying. I was disappointed for not being able to fly to the mountains. So I concentrated on getting back into my dream.

Suddenly I was standiing in the Safeway parking lot next to my High school best friend M and her boyfriend.

I told them that I was dreaming and going to fly to the mountains that we in front of us. I invited them to fly with me. But I think only the boyfriend followed.

When I got to the mountains, I was alone. I flew to the rocky ledge and touched the rock face. The rock was a brown color and very rough.

I suddenly thought about the Tasks. At first I thought that being in the mountains made it impossible to do the Tasks. Then I thought, "Well I could just make a mirror appear right here."

But then I thought, "Nah..I've tried that one twice now. I want to do the Haunted House one again since I only did that one once."

I flew along the mountain side looking for an old house. I then saw ahead of me a place where the mountain went in. I knew it was a cave. I suddenly thought, "Wouldn't it be so cool if the haunted house was in the cave?"

I got close and I indeed saw that it was a cave. I also saw that the front of the cave was built in. I saw it had shutters (for some reason I felt it had to have shutters to qualify as a haunted house). I flew to the entrance. It was actually built with very nice dark polished wood.

I went inside and started to look around. My first thoughts were that I wanted real ghost in this house not just decorations. The inside of the house seemed small. Around me everything was built out of the same beautiful dark polished wood. On several of the tables and other flat surfaces there were large white candles.

I flew to the back of the house and waited for something else to appear, but at the point the dream started fading again.

I ended up "waking up" in the same motel room. I had been sleeping on the floor. I tried to stay motionless so that I could try to reenter the dream. But then other people inthe room started talking and made me fully "wake up". I went into the motel's bathroom and saw that there was something in the tub that looked like spilled arpicot jam.

At that point I woke up for real, and felt that I needed to write this down.

Good morning, everybody.

I thought I'd share the passage below, since it relates to both dreaming and New Year's Eve. The passage is from Charles Dickens' story "The Chimes."

The plot device of "The Chimes" is similar to that of "A Christmas Carol": a ghost leads a man, Toby Veck, into the future, so that he can see the effects of the choices he makes in the present. The effects are terrible. So Toby mends his ways and lives happily ever after.

This quote comes from the end of the book.

"Had Trotty dreamed? Or, are his joys and sorrows, and the actors in them, but a dream; himself a dream; the teller of this tale a dreamer, waking but now? If it be so, O listener, dear to him in all his visions, try to bear in mind the stern realities from which these shadows come; and in your sphere, none is too wide, and none too limited for such an end -- endeavour to correct, improve, and soften them. So may the New Year be a happy one to you, happy to many more whose happiness depends on you! So may each year be happier than the last, and not the meanest of our brethren or sisterhood debarred their rightful share, in what our Great Creator formed them to enjoy."

Dream #1

I was in a laundromat which may have been a part of a department store or a K-Mart. I was at the far end of one of the aisles of machines. I think the machines were dryers, though they looked like washers. There were laundry carts cluttering all the way up the aisle.

Two guys were also in the aisle. I felt like they were my friends. They may also have been working at the laundromat. They were talking to each other without really regarding me. They were talking about some guy, who I eventually realized was me.

The guys were talking about how the guy was really conceited. They said that you could never tell this guy anything. And he'd never admit he was wrong. It made the atmosphere tense around him all the time. But he wasn't really so impressive that he should make people feel that way.

I thought, Wow. Is that really the way people feel about me? I realized I should really start watching how I act toward people. I thought I'd start right away, by treating my two friends nicely. I may have tried to say something nice to my friends.

But now I was suddenly sitting at a desk outside the aisles of laundry machines. I was looking at my phone. I was texting back and forth between my sister and my friend H.

I think I was just having a normal conversation with H. But my sister had gone into the hospital for something. So I was texting with her to find out how everything had gone.

But somebody, either H or my sister, was sitting at the near end of another aisle of laundry machines off to my right. The person was sitting with another couple of people, probably kids. They were all on the floor, maybe buried in coats.

I hadn't heard from my sister in a while. I wasn't getting worried about her health, necessarily. But I was worried that I'd said something to offend her, so that she'd stopped texting me and now wouldn't let me know if things were okay.

But I now got a text from my sister. It said something like, "Well, the doctor sent me and J (my brother-in-law) over to the pharmacy. So when I get my stuff from the pharmacy I'll be able to tell you what my problem was."

It was like the doctor knew the problem, but didn't tell my sister what it was. So my sister had to infer the problem from whatever kind of medicine she got.

The text did, however, seem to have a bit of a feeling of annoyance with me. So I tried to think of how I could be less annoying.

At the same time that I read the text, the person sitting on the floor off to my right was also speaking to me. It was like my sister was right there, telling me everything she had texted me.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was out walking along some damp, sandy shoreline with my sister and my oldest nephew. It was a nice, sunny day. The water was to our right. We were probably pretty close to the water, too. The shore itself was probably pretty narrow.

We passed some really beautiful scene on our left. There was a big, beautiful lawn (though the grass may have seemed to be a little dried and yellowy). At the end of the lawn was some kind of beautiful, classical mansion or palace or plaza.

I can't really remember it that well at all. It was gleaming white, and it had a lot of columns. There were people in some non-modern dress walking around on the grounds and in or near the structure. Parts of the grounds may have been open from the shore. Other parts may have been separated from the shore by a fence.

My sister pointed to the beautiful scene and said, "This reminds me a lot of my trip to Italy."

For some odd reason I took a really sarcastic tone with my sister. I said, "Pfft! There's nothing like that in real life!" (??? ) I then either said, "That's only a painting," or, "That should really remind you of a painting."

My sister and nephew and I were now walking in the downtown area of some smaller town. We three seemed to be among the few people out on the street.

It was still a nice, sunny day. We walked down a street with dark tan or brownish buildings that were probably around eight to twelve stories tall.

Suddenly I saw, across the street from us, a huge helicopter descending from above the building tops. The helicopter had a dull, blue underside. It was shaped a bit awkwardly, like if you were to put an old, corded phone's receiver into a blanket and then try to make a rectangle out of that mass.

The helicopter was moving pretty slowly. It was still descending, and it looked like it was directed toward us. I'm -- pretty sure -- that at this time I recalled a time IWL in 2002 when I was in downtown Santa Fe, New Mexico, and a huge, black, military copter floated down toward me and seemed to follow and watch me for half a block or so.

I'm pretty sure that I was really worried that this helicopter was going to do the same thing to me. I had been really afraid in Santa Fe -- so afraid, I'd had to hold onto a wall near me to stay standing.

But I didn't want my sister and nephew to see me that way. So I tried to show that I was actually interested in this aircraft, rather than that I was afraid of it.

But as the helicopter descended, it turned out that I really was more interested in it than afraid of it. The helicopter actually looked like some form of public transportation -- like a bus, but with propellers instead of wheels!

I could see now that the helicopter-bus was going to land and unload passengers at a building on the corner of a block just up ahead and across the street from us. I ran toward that building, leaving my sister and nephew behind.

I got into the building. It was like a hollowed-out lobby of an office building, but with something to its atmosphere that made it seem like a bus station. There were concrete pillars through the room. The window-walls of the lobby must have been tinted, because the light coming in was kid of smoky-amber colored. The floors may have been covered in a short, tight, brown carpet.

I'd come in through some doors to the left of the corner of the building. But the helicopter, I saw, had landed at the corner of the building. There were some hospital-like, sliding-glass doors that opened along with the opening of the helicopter's doors. A little wheelchair-ramp-type structure went down from the doors to the floor.

I ran up to the sliding glass doors as they opened. There were no passengers in the helicopter-bus, even though the helicopter-bus had apparently landed to let passengers off.

The pilot stood just outside of the bus for a moment or two. He was tall, white, with a kind of big belly. He had short, shaggy, red hair and a short, shaggy beard. He wore squarish eyeglasses.

I didn't say anything to the man. I just stood there, kind of awed that I was seeing such a new, incredible element of public transportation.

The man understood my feelings, though. He said, "Well, it's fun for now. But the city'll get rid of it soon. This is the new thing. And when the next new thing comes around, they'll forget all about this thing."

I now spoke to the man, but it was like I was speaking to him in my head, or through narration, as I was heading back out onto the street, out to my sister and nephew.

I told the man, "Oh, no -- they'll never get rid of this. It's too great! And it makes so much sense. It's so efficient!"

I may now have been telling my sister and nephew something as we watched the helicopter lift up and away. The helicopter seemed to be going right back in the direction it had come from. So did we. We seemed to be walking right back down the block we'd walked up.

Good morning, everybody.

Happy holidays! The icy Dream Views logo is really fun. And the Santa Claus flying through the moon is cool, too.

Dream #1

It was night. I was either getting into or out of a car with my sister and my brother-in-law. The car was probably my sister's. It was a kind of short car, and it was packed all around by some bigger SUVs.

My sister was drunk, but she was trying to act like she wasn't. She was trying to act nice for my sake.

We now all got out of the car. The parking lot the car was in was in some downtown-like area. There was a really big, ominous-looking, tan-brick building right at the edge of the lot.

We walked out to the road, which felt very old and run-down. This place was like one of those downtowns that shut down completely at night. We were all alone here. The streetlights seemed like in a horror movie -- the light was all grainy, almost sepia-colored.

My sister was now not able to control her drunken appearance at all. She even asked, "Hey, isn't there some place we could pick up some booze?"

I knew there was a store somewhere -- maybe even just across the street and around the corner. I could even see the store, still open, like a chain drug store, its greenish fluorescent lights shining out through a window-wall in a stately, stone building.

But I figured I'd do what I could to keep us from going to that store. I think my brother-in-law felt the same way.

Somehow we decided we needed to go to the bathroom. I knew where there was a free public bathroom. We walked off to our right, toward some park-like area, then along a nice, stone walkway.

The light was just becoming blue with early morning, and there were already tourists out here -- it mostly looked like mothers and daughters.

We went to some area that looked like a fast food restaurant. It had the same color scheme as Dunkin Donuts, but with a lot more brown. And it was shaped like a wide, low public restroom in a park.

I knew that this bathroom had either been sponsored by the restaurant or was the restaurant itself. I probably thought the restaurant was McDonald's or Burger King. I think the restaurant itself was closed, but that the bathroom was always open.

I think we first walked through the restaurant's seating area, which was huge, but completely empty of people. I think we then walked through a concrete-floored, cinder-block-walled hallway that felt like it was a bridge over a road, between two buildings.

The three of us were now in the bathroom, which was a wide, concrete-floored, cinder-block-walled bathroom, like a really nice public bathroom in a park. But it may have had a Dunkin Donuts color scheme.

My sister was still drunk -- kind of wandering around randomly. But I myself was now really distracted. Eventually I decided I needed to use the bathroom. I went to a stall, so I could take a crap.

But I was having trouble closing the stall's door. It wouldn't stay closed. I was also trying to close it by twisting the little doorknob using a huge, wadded up piece of toilet paper. It was like I was afraid to touch anything in the restroom. So I was protecting my hands with toilet paper. But it was really hard to do anything with the amount of toilet paper I had in my hands.

Then, at some point, I felt some kind of erotic feeling. It related to the feeling of taking a crap. I thought I was going to do something really bad and gross in the stall. And it turned me on sexually. But I didn't want to get caught doing it.

Then a mother and daughter came into the restroom. I was kind of annoyed. I knew that if a couple of tourists were coming in, then that meant that a whole bunch of people would soon be coming into the bathroom. Everybody would know I was here, and they'd all start harrassing me. So I might as well leave now.

I might have walked back out of the stall, passed the mother and daughter, found my brother-in-law and sister, and walked back out into the long corridor.

Dream #2

It was a nice, sunny day. I was probably in the backyard of the house where my family lived while I was in high school. But the backyard was now three or four times as big as it was IWL, and it was filled with flowers. It was an incredibly huge, English-style garden! Where our garage had been, there was some big, shady kind of pagoda-like structure made of greyish, dark wood.

There were some little kids running around and playing in the garden. I thought of these kids as something like my friends or siblings. They were all angelically beautiful, like the golden-haired children of storybooks. I feel like they were all involved in some task. But I can't remember what it was.

My attention was caught by the huge, stalk-like plants near me. I couldn't put a name to them. They seem, now, to have looked like hollyhocks or foxgloves. But they weren't those flowers, either -- I'm pretty sure. They had a kind of fuzzy look. And some of them had bud-like centers: tight, green bulbs, inside a collar of thin, peach petals.

I was suddenly laying on my back. Our old dog, a cocker spaniel, was standing over me, vigorously licking, or "kissing," my lips. She was actually licking off a bunch of honey that I had on my lips.

Some voice in the distance (or in my head?), probably a child's voice, asked me either if my dog liked honey, or if my dog liked to kiss me.

Whatever the question was, I answered, "No, she's just getting the honey off my lips. She's really excited to go traveling. She loves to go places in the car. In fact, when she ----- (can't remember) -----, we'll probably get a nice car for her. Then she'll be happy to go!"

I now had an image in my head of a white, horse-drawn carriage, like a nineteenth century carriage. But the carriage was very short, proportioned, it seemed, to fit small children or dogs. And there was no top to the cabin of the carriage. It was flat and open, kind of looking like an ornate, white Radio Flyer wagon.

A man in a suit and top-hat sat in a small front area and drove the carriage. He may also have been holding a white, lace parasol.

I could see that there was a main seating area: a small square. But there was also a smaller, back rectangle, which, I now guess, could normally be used for luggage.

But I guess my dog was now dead, because she was stiff and motionless, and we had laid her in the back area, as if it were some kind of coffin for her, or a space that would have fit a coffin for her.

But I'm pretty sure the carriage wasn't taking my dog to a funeral, but to a wedding. And I may have been a part of the wedding. This was probably whatever I'd been referring to when I'd spoken to the voice. But I'm pretty sure this image didn't have anything to do with what I'd actually said.

Dream #3

I was in some kind of huge place, something like an old, French palace, mixed with a museum, mixed with an old, run-down, slummy apartment. The place was filled with all kinds of clutter -- boxes, junk, all over the place.

There were no lights on, and it was night. The only light coming into the place was extremely dim, orange light from the streetlamps outside.

There were a few other men in the structure with me. They were all in one room. The place was huge, but we were all sitting in just one room, which had a bunk bed and a computer desk in it, but which was so filled with junk that we could hardly fit ourselves into the room.

The men may have been Latino, and they may have spoken very little English. They seemed to be in their late thirties or early forties. They were short, a little overweight, and a little tough-seeming.

The men were being nice or indifferent to me. But I had a feeling that, as time wore on, they'd probably start annoying or harrassing me.

My mom now came into the room. I was happy just to have someone familiar to me in this environment. It kind of diluted the bad emotional sense I was beginning to get from these guys.

My mom looked a bit different. She was skinnier, and she had shorter hair. She sent me off to some other room. She told me that we were both getting up early tomorrow morning to take care of some task. She stressed the importance of getting up on time.

I was excited about the event. And even though it was already late, and that I wouldn't get very much sleep at all if I wanted to get up on time, I was really happy and determined to get up on time.

I lay down in bed and closed my eyes. Almost immediately, I re-opened them. I realized that I had woken up an hour late!

I ran out into the hallway to find my mom. It couldn't be true, could it? Had I overslept for the thing I was so excited for?

My mom was at the other end of the hallway. She said, "Yep, you overslept. But I wasn't going to wake you up."

I could tell my mom was disappointed in me. I felt horrible. But my mom now said something like, "Hurry up. If you just get your shit together and get out the door right now, we can still probably make it on time."

I was back in the room with the Latino men. Some of them were sleeping on the bunk bed. One was still up, sitting at the computer desk. The light was still dark. It was still very early morning, before sunrise.

I crouched before the bunkbed and began arranging something on the cuff of my right shirt sleeve for some reason. It was like I was peeling back my cuff and then twisting it back and forth. It felt like I was trying to put some kind of steel band around my wrist.

But I realized that I was just wasting my time doing this. My mom was probably out in the car, waiting for me. If I didn't hurry up, my mom would either leave me, or else she'd wait for me and we'd both be too late to make it to our task.

I stood up to get my shit together and go downstairs. But I was so unfocused. I really couldn't remember what the hell I needed to do. I didn't really know what I needed in order to get the hell out of here. And the Latino men didn't help. It was just like they were waiting for an excuse to distract me.

I now found myself in a car, an old, clunky station wagon, like the one I drove IWL when I lived out in the desert for a couple of years, working for the Park Service. The car was inside -- in one of the rooms of the house. I sat in the driver's seat. One of the Latino men stood just outside the door, looking in.

The car only had AM radio (IDL and IWL ). I had a plastic tub -- like the plastic tubs you get for various purposes during hospital stays -- filled with little, plastic knobs, each about 2cm in diameter. I had to put all of these plastic knobs onto various parts of the radio's face. Only after that would my shit be together enough so that I could leave.

But I couldn't fit all of these knobs onto the radio face! I think I managed to find ways to fit some of them onto the volume and tuning knobs. I also popped some of them onto the set-station buttons. And I may have tried to stick some onto the actual station indicator plate. But I was running out of space. And I had a ton of knobs left!

I was now by myself in a large hallway, probably inside an apartment. It was night, and the hallway was pretty dark.

I stood near the front door. The door was made of old, worn-out wood. I could feel something like a gentle wind whispering past the door. I knew it was some kind of presence. I partly thought it was a ghost. But I also thought it was some person -- or, a person coming, not a person who was actually there yet.

I knew that I was still a bit early. But as long as I kept aware of the situation, I'd see the person. Then I could meet the person just outside the apartment. I may actually have just thought of this person as only a breeze of wind.

I was now looking out through my door through a small, square window that was maybe 30cm directly above the doorknob. Looking out, I saw the dark sapphire sky of morning. I could see that out there was something like a brambly yard, which may have been something like a big, nice garden.

I was telling myself something very soothing, like the person who was coming to me was a very nice person, and that I had nothing to worry about or be afraid of.

I watched one or two people crossing my field of view. They were walking along some path, I think, that crossed between the garden and some much wider field. They were a man and a woman. A man may also later have crossed by himself.

I told myself, "See? See how nice they are? When they come for you, they'll treat you nicely. You have nothing to fear."

I was now outside. It was a bright, sunny morning. I was drifting up a very, very slight slope, on a long, wide lawn that led up to a sidewalk and an asphalt road.

I saw a man and a woman walking along the road, heading from the right to the left side of my field of view. The man and woman both looked like they were in their late thirties. But they wore clothes and had hairstyles like from the late 1970s. The man's hairstyle was particularly chunky and bowl-shaped.

The man and the woman seemed to be in a kind of peevish argument with each other. It scared me a little bit. I felt like if I got into their field of influence, they'd probably start getting all peevish and annoying with me.

But they were walking pretty quickly. And they were already away from me by the time I got up to the sidewalk.

Now that I was on the sidewalk, I noticed a few handfuls of people, all adults, walking toward a building. I realized that I was near a university campus.

The campus neighborhood reminds me now of my occasional visits to the Princeton campus. But the university building, which I saw off to my left, looked more like an elementary school mixed with a modern, suburban church building.

All the people walking toward the building seemed to be in their thirties and forties. There were men and women. Sometimes people were in groups, talking with each other. Other times they were walking alone.

Some of the people wore suits or formal attire. Others were wearing caps and gowns, like they were attending a graduation ceremony.

I also noticed that a lot of the women had very masculine faces. Some of the women were definitely women, just with very hard, squarish faces. But some of the people dressed as women may have been men.

As I got to the actual building, I realized that it was more like an elementary school. The adults I'd seen funnelling toward this area were actually teachers. They were all now dispersing toward different parts of the building: to their classrooms, I assumed.

I was in a square, concrete-floored courtyard of the building. There were a lot of kids running all about, rushing, I supposed, to get to their classes.

There were some adult women posted here and there, apparently to make sure that nobody was getting out of hand. I figured I'd ask one of these women either where I was, or where I was supposed to be. I didn't really know the answer to either of those questions.

I saw a woman posted just under the covering of the building, at the back, right corner of the courtyard. I figured I'd approach her and ask her what I was here for.

As I walked toward that woman, a girl wearing a pale pink sweater ran through the courtyard with a clear, plastic bottle of water.

One of the other women admonished the girl for some reason or another. The girl thought she was being really grown-up and helpful for doing something. But she was also using her task to avoid having to do some thing that all the girls her age needed to do. She knew this. So when the teacher admonished her, she listened.

But as I was about to reach the woman, some kind of alarm went off. The alarm was the prayer bell. Wherever you were, whatever you were doing, when the prayer bell went off, you had to stop, crouch down on your knees, bow your head to the ground, and start praying to god.

The ritual seems to me now to be Islam-influenced. But the prayer was more like a Christian prayer mixed with something like the United States Pledge of Allegiance.

I bowed, too, because I at least knew what all this meant. I was near a stairwell. A girl wearing a Muslim-style head-covering bowed near me.

As I looked at the floor, I noticed it was tiled in meter-square tiles looking like flecked granite. But this tile was all chipped away in a corner, so that almost a quarter of the tile was chipped into an oily blackness.

During the prayer-pledge, the girl in the pale pink shirt ran out of the doorway of a classroom near me. She had the water bottle again, and she was about to rush off somewhere. But the woman I was trying to approach told the girl to kneel down and pray, like everybody else.

The girl said something like, "Oh, yeah. Right." She didn't kneel down, though. She just sat, in some kind of athletic pose, with her back to the wall, and waited for the prayer to finish.

Something about the girl's face made me think she might have Down's Syndrome. But the girl was really smart and active. I liked her a lot.

When I got up from the prayer-pledge, I approached the adult woman. I had a feeling now that I was here for some kind of volunteer project with New York Cares. So I asked the woman if she knew where we volunteers were meeting. The woman pointed to the stairwell behind me and said that New York Cares was meeting up on the second floor.

But before I could go upstairs, a little girl grabbed my hand and told me to help her with her spelling. She dragged me over to something that looked like folding gym mats stood up on one side and w-folded, to look like a gym-mat version of Chinese screens.

Before the Chinese screen was a long, school-like table that was only 25cm or so above the ground. Both the little girl and I had to kneel to sit at the table. The table had a long sheet of paper across it. The paper was filled with items like multiple choice questions.

For each number, there may possibly have been questions, probably ridiculously inane questions, like, "How do you spell -----?" as if a kid wouldn't know how to spell a word he was looking right at. But there were no answers in the multiple choice spaces. It was just A, B, C, D, with no answers beside the letters!

I think what the little girl actually had to do was choose the correct letter, A, B, C, or D, and then correctly spell the word in the space beside that letter. I think the little girl may actually have explained this to me herself.

The little girl was probably learning impaired. But she seemed really smart, as well. She seemed to be doing well enough spelling for herself. And maybe she just wanted me around for the heck of it while she was doing her work.

But every once in a while I'd have to help her with spelling. At some point, I even chose, and circled?, the letter "C" on one of her questions. I also remember something about one of us writing in cursive.

Then the little girl's brother came up. He was also, apparently, learning impaired, though not as much as his sister. He may have been a bit younger than the girl. He was climbing all over both me and the little girl, though he mostly seemed to be climbing all over me. He really wanted my attention, and he wanted to prove, I think, that he was smarter than his sister.

At some point I stood up, as if my lessons for the little girl and boy were over. I told them they'd both done a good job.

But the boy wanted to see my cell phone for some reason. I was pretty sure that that was not a good idea, because I think I'd been looking on some sort of fetish website before I'd come here. The boy didn't need to be seeing any of that kind of stuff.

I then saw my phones screen, as if it were flickering on, like a TV would, with a bit of vertical hold striping a black screen, as the TV is getting started up and getting a hold of itself. The striping was yellow -- so it seemed to me that this was "effect" for a production, not real vertical hold striping.

There was then, probably, some kind of video, maybe starring Hyde from the j-pop band L'Arc en Ciel. But I can't remember anything about it.

Old LD from 6-6-07

I just had a mini lucid. I had slept in some and was going to get up, but I felt disappointed that I really didn't remember any dreams, so I decided to try one more time to try to squeeze out a dream or amybe even a lucid.


Dream:

I was looking at a house with my mom and sister to buy. This one was for Sale by Owner. It ened up being a ver big house. But there were many odd things about it. It was very junky--the previous owners had left all their junk and garbage.

There were many floors. The top floor was about four stories off the ground and had a great view. But there was a part near the front where the floor and the wall didn't meet so there was a 10-12 inch crack. The previous owners had put some chicken wire across it so that nothing --or no one would fall through.

On the way down I noticed that one of the staircases was wobbly. I wiggled it a bit and heard it it crack, and it then broke free and fell to the lower floor.

That was the thing that made us decide that we really didn't want the house. I told mom, "This house is really big, but I don't think it was built very well.".


The next thing I remember is that I am going down a school hallway on roller blades. I tripped on something and almost lost my balance and thought, "Whoa, that would be very embarrassing to fall down here in front of everyone. So I was extra careful after that.

I got to the Kindergarten hallway. I noticed a display hanging on the wall. It was how one of the classes used cooked lima beams (mashed) and jello to create this wonderful moldable substance. They had displayed a jack-o-lantern and other things that they had shaped out of the stuff. The color was a light clearish orange. Another teacher came by and she also mentioned how neat she thought that was. I pulled out a paper and was about to write down the recipe. Then two more teachers walked by. They were talking about weightloss.

Then I was back in the original big house. I was standing by the window. I saw a very tall cypress tree by the window. I notied it was moving. I thought it was moving because of the wind (it had been very windy in real life all night). But as I looked closer, I noticed that it was actually moving past the window.

"It's walking!! A walking tree...just like the last Lucid Task." I thought. "I am dreaming! I'm having a lucid dream! I have to find my cat so she can talk to me..." I looked around. I saw the garage door in front of me I knew my cat would be there if I were only lucid long enough.

But of course at that thought I felt the dream start to fade.

And then I woke up.


But this is a great sign. This often happens to me before I get it right. So I am hoping/expecting to get the Task done in the next night or two.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a dark restaurant. The restaurant had a lot of small, black, two-person tables in the main area. I sat at a table there. Off to my left there were some bigger booth tables. Multicolored neon lights seemed to reflect off many of the dark surfaces in the bar.

The two-person seating area was pretty full. A business man sat next to me, at the table to my right. He may have been Asian American, maybe in his late thirties or early forties. He wore square glasses and a kind of plain suit. He had a gentle, easygoing, but mature-sounding voice.

The man asked me why I had left my previous job. I began to list off a whole bunch of complaints about my former boss. The complaints just got worse and worse, and I just got more and more agitated as I listed them. I think the main complaint was that my boss wanted me out of the office, and that he just neglected me and tortured me until I left.

I now noticed that my boss was sitting up in one of the booths off to my left. Red, white, and green light was playing off his face, like a rotating neon sign (or a barber shop pole) was shining on him.

My boss was sliding a grey iPad back into a case. It was almost like the iPad was the thickness of a VCR cassette and that the iPad case was like a VCR cassette sleeve.

I could tell that my boss had heard everything I'd said about him. I was a little ashamed of myself for having spoken bad about him. But I was also glad that he'd heard it. I hoped that it would sink in somehow, and that he'd feel bad.

But I also felt bad for complaining. The business man may have been thinking about hiring me. Now that I'd complained so much, maybe he just thought I wouldn't be a good employee.

My boss was now standing just beside me, on my left. He said, "Hey, I need to talk to you for a second."

I stood up with him and walked toward the center of the restaurant. There was a wide pillar there, around which was a chest-high counter that had a bunch of computer screens (maybe cash registers?) on it. My boss stopped there and spoke to me.

He said "You know, I've been getting the feeling lately that you think I didn't treat you right while you were working for me. And that's just not true. I have a feeling you've been telling people stuff like that. And I really don't want you to."

The way he was saying all this made it sound like he had just come to these conclusions all by himself -- like he hadn't heard me speaking at all just now, and the idea had just popped into his head. I knew he was just trying to impress me by making himself sound insightful enough to guess my moves. But I'd seen him listening to my conversation.

I told my boss, "I saw you sitting there, listening to everything I said! I knew you were there, and that's why I said it! I'm not sorry I said it! You treated me like garbage while I was there!"

(EDIT: I forgot to say that there was also some point where I was even making fun of my boss' voice, doing some kind of high-pitched, flat squealing, with a sheep-like, bleating rhythm. I may have been standing or crouching over my boss while he was laying on the ground. I may even have had his left (?) arm pinned to the ground.)

I was now standing out near the dugout of a baseball field in a park. I was with my boss momentarily, still yelling at him. But my boss eventually changed into my old friend R.

We were actually standing with a group of people, maybe twelve or fifteen of us, all straggled out along a fence that went along from third base to home plate. R and I were standing just beyond third base. At this point, the fence was separated from the diamond by about twenty meters of lawn, and it went up a small slope.

I knew that I had been yelling at R just like I had been yelling at my old boss. But suddenly I felt like R was in control of something in my life. I didn't like R very much, but I felt like I should apologize to him and be nice to him, so that he would stop controlling whatever it was he was controlling in my life, and make things okay for me again.

There had been a little bit of a game going on on the ball field, a game between two semi-competitive teams, maybe teams of little kids. But now the kids were all just milling around the field, clearing off the field.

There was some sort of ceremony that was now being held on home plate. A kind of tall, kind of fat, bald man in a grey suit, white shirt, and reddish tie was presenting somebody to give a speech. The person was another old friend of mine, E.

I only heard one particular phrase from E's speech. I can't remember what it was. But it struck me as attempting to be "folksy," something that would be understood by and sympathized with by all the "common people" around him.

I was kind of sickened by this. When I'd first met E, he was a kind of intellectual guy. He struck me as being a genuinely good person. But the older he got, the more he enjoyed cheating and taunting people. But he still tried to carry off the act of being a good guy. By now, it was all just a horrible charade to anybody who knew him. And his speech was an awful example of it.

Nevertheless, when E finished his speech, I went after him, to go talk to him. I figured that since he'd done something important like give a speech, and be introduced by a man in a suit, that he might be an important guy now. He might be able to help me out in my own difficulties.

E walked over toward the fence, toward a section closer to home plate. I hurried down toward him. I may have reached him and started talking to him, in a really shameful kiss-up kind of way.

Dream #2

I was in some place like a house or a mansion. I was in what looked like a big living room. But I may have been sitting on the left edge of a bed. The room was all made of dark wood. There were no lights on. But a lot of natural light was coming through a doorway, probably a wide doorway into a bathroom.

The bed didn't have any blankets on it, just a white sheet around the mattress and a white sheet over that. The bed may actually have been a hide-a-bed, the kind that pulls out from under the cushions of a couch.

Just off to my right, a guy stood talking. It was as if he were in a commercial, or in some kind of "special features" style mini-documentary for a movie. He, and everything around him, had a gauzy haze, like I was already watching the documentary, and the view from the camera lens, which was in some kind of soft focus.

The guy was some famous director. He looked like he was from the late 1970s or early 1980s. He was kind of skinny, with hair down just below his shoulders. He wore roundish, black-rimmed glasses and some kind of nerdy-looking suit.

The director had a kind of high, but full voice, so everything he said sounded a little pompous, and a little more like singing than talking.

The director was talking about his future plans. But he didn't really seem to have any. He may have mentioned that he'd done a lot of work already, and that he now planned to just spend time with his family, to re-charge a little.

The director said that the thing that ruined a lot of creative people nowadays was letting themselves get too overrun by taking on too many tasks. Their work was cheapened, and the artists would get burnt out. The director said that he was going to try not to let this happen to him.

I stood up and walked toward the bathroom, still hearing the director, as if he were speaking directly into my head. The director may have started talking about the French filmmaker Francois Truffaut's career as an example of burning out. I may have seen some black and white photos of Truffaut, intercut with solid views of lavender color.

I now stood in the bathroom, looking down into the bathtub. I was thinking of taking a shower. But there was a little reddish dirt or grime ringing the side of the tub and dusting up the floor of it.

I was kind of grossed out by this. I wondered how a bathtub could be so poorly taken care of in such a rich house as this. I may have thought I'd clean the tub. But I also may have thought that I just wouldn't take a shower.

Dream #3

I was in a house with my sister. I was in the living room, and my sister was in the kitchen. Both rooms were small, so even though we were in two rooms, it felt like we were hanging out together. The living room had no lights on, but light came into it through the kitchen.

I had been sitting on the couch, probably watching a movie on a TV that stood on an entertainment center just off to my left. But now I stood up and walked into the kitchen. My sister was sitting at the kitchen table, doing something -- maybe writing, or coloring in a coloring book, or doing something on her phone.

At some point my sister may have turned into a blonde girl I knew in high school, though she may have been college-aged.

I told my sister that I was going to take a shower. She said okay. But she then mumbled something about the university I'd attended. I didn't understand what my sister had said. So I asked her to say it again. Again my sister just quickly mumbled something about the university I'd attended.

It was like my sister was giving me news about the university. But it was more like she was sharing her reactions to the news with me. She already expected me to know what the news was. And if I didn't know the news, she would just figure I was pretty stupid.

This was even more the case -- at least in my mind -- because my sister had been told the news by a man that she was attracted to.

This man was maybe ten years older than I. He was big and strong and probably involved in business in some way or another. If this man could outdo me with his knowledge, through my sister, my sister -- I thought -- would feel like she didn't need to respect me, or even treat me nicely, anymore.

So after I'd determined that my sister had really mentioned something about news regarding the university I'd attended, I just said something really non-committal, like, "Yeah, it's pretty crazy, right? I can't believe it," and then walked to the shower.

I walked down the dim hallway and into the dark bathroom. I didn't turn any lights on. I closed the door. I must have stripped out of my clothes, too. I now figured I would look at my phone, try to get whatever news I could about my old university, and, while I was showering, think up some responses to give my sister.

When I turned on the news, though, I found a web page that said that the house of famous actress Barbara Steele had caught fire. Apparently Barbara Steele (an actress famous for her roles in Federico Fellini's 8 1/2 and David Cronenberg's Shivers) nowadays lived in my old university town.

The news article showed a picture of Steele's house. But the photo was from the roof of the house. The roof, actually, took up almost all the photo. And the main focus of the photo seemed to be a small array of solar panels that now seemed to be sinking down through the roof.

There may also have been snow on the roof, and there were a few men on the roof, apparently in the middle of putting out the fire. The house seemed like it was just a regular, suburban house in a regular, suburban neighborhood, not a big mansion one would expect a movie star to live in.

The news article said that Barbara Steele had been in the fire, and that she'd been rushed to the hospital. It seemed to imply that she'd died. But I couldn't really determine whether that was true.

I figured this must have been the article my sister had been talking about. My sister would know how much I loved Barbara Steele. So she probably would have wanted to discuss with me any news she'd heard about her. I started thinking of responses to give my sister about the article.

But now I could hear (and maybe even see, in my mind's eye) my sister and the older man talking with each other. My sister was telling the older man that I seeemed to be going through some sort of difficulty. My sister even seemed to imply that I'd lost or was lacking something, as if the older man might help me get a replacement.

I was a little upset that my sister had told the man all of this, especially since my sister and the older man already seemed to be planning with each other how they could make me feel less intelligent than they were.

But I was also relieved. I knew I was missing something. And maybe the man could help me find it. I figured that once I got out of the shower I'd approach the man very humbly and ask him to help me.

But now I saw a strange image. It was a cartoon, or a comic book. A little girl had knocked on a door (her own front door?). A man, maybe the girl's dad, had answered the door. The man let his wife know that the girl was at the door.

But something about what the man said made me realize that the man and girl were going to have sex. They had probably already had sex in the past. It was like the man and the little girl were in love with each other.

Old LD from 4-11-07

Dream (Lucid):

I was walking with several people. I remember my sister and Jeff being there. We were walking toward the beach. It was late evening and the sun was setting. It was the most beautiful thing I ever remembering seeing. I suddenly became lucid.

I started floating. I wanted to fly down to the water. But Jeff grabbed my foot and wouldn't let me go. I got mad and started kicking at his hand. I said, "Dang it--I'm lucid! Let me fly!"

Finally he either let go , or I kicked myself loose and started trying to fly off. But then my sister started grabbing my leg. I said, "What's wrong with you people? I'm lucid. I need to go."

She let go finally. But I was still having some trouble flying very high.

I thought of all the things I could do in a lucid dream. But in this dream I decided I didn't want to be in a hurry. I would fly over the ocean (shore) and then I would decide what I wanted to do.

Since I was having problems flying I kept trying to find things to kick off of (kind of like when you are swimming) to kind of propel me forward.

I finally got out over the water, but I kept sinking lower, so I had to aim myself for this guy's boat. I was going to kick off of it to help me fly.

But then I felt the dream fade.

Old LD from 1-31-07

Lucid Dream!

I read out of my Lucid Dreaming book about MILD before I went to bed-- and this is the dream I got.

The dream started out nightmarish. I was becoming aware that this huge monster/creature was getting into my room at night. I never saw it, but I could see from evidence it left that it had been there. It was really starting to freak me out to the point where I no longer wanted to go to sleep. The thought of something so big being just a few feet away while I was completely asleep made me feel so vulnerable. I couldn't believe that I wouldn't wake up with it there. I am normally not that deep of a sleeper.

The scene jumps and I am climbing a very big tree with Jeff. We suddenly see men that look like hunters in down in the next field and decide that they are the ones we need to talk to to see if they know anything about a huge creature that may be in this area and if they have any idea of what to do to keep it out of my room at night.

It takes a while to get down from the tree. I hadn't thought I had climbed that high.

Jeff started talking to the men. I noticed that one of the men looked just like Jeff. It seemed so odd, that I missed the entire conversation.

Then scene changed again and I am with my sister in my bedroom. I had slept through the night, but my sister had seen something. She saw a huge unidentifiable shape, but it had dropped something in the trash and toilet before it left. I looked in the trash and saw what looked like tiny mammoth bones. Like a small mammoth fetus that hadn't grown properly. The bones were all soft and the consistancy of gummy worms. I realized that this was a wonderful clue. The mystery monster was really a mammoth! But how was it getting in my room.

The next night I was determined to stay awake to find out. As I sat in bed I could see the opened bathroom door. Suddenly I saw a shape coming out of the toilet. So that's how it was getting into my room!. I watched as it grew bigger and bigger as it came through the toilet. It didn't grow full sized. It was a baby mammoth...only about two and a half feet high and three feet long. It didn't look real. It looked like a sketchy drawing.

As I was watching it I suddenly started thinking, "This is just a little too weird for me...a mammoth coming out of my toilet...and being all sketchy.....Could this possibly be a dream??" I needed to find out so I said, "Okay, Baby Mammoth, if this is a dream, will you come fly with me?"

Next thing I know is that the mammoth and I are both circling in the air. And I laughed out loud and said, "I knew it. This whole thing was just too weird. Yes! I am finally Lucid again!!"

I circled my room a little more and decided to just fly through my wall. I end up bumping against it. I decided that that is no big deal--I'll just go out the front door. I flew down the hall and to the front door. I opened it and flew outside. It was early moring. I said to myself, "Early morning...just like it is in real life." [Note: it was actually 2:15 am].

I flew down the street and passed a lady. She points to this man's car that is filled with junk and make s a comment about it. I remember commenting back, "Yeah, he is very unreliable,"..and then flew on.

I flew toward the school. I was flying quite slow and had trouble getting very high. Instead of flying "Superman" style, I was flying "swimming" style--breast stroke to be exact. I was going about as fast as I would be if I were actually swimming...or maybe a little faster. But even though I was a little frustrated, I thought to myself that at least I was moving and if I was patient I would get to where I wanted to be.

The street slooped down into a hill. This would be a good chance for me to get some height. I just flew straight while the street sloped steeply down.

By the time I got to the school, I was quite a bit in the air above it. I looked up. It was no longer morning, but night. The light of a very full moon shown on a layer of clouds overhead. I wanted to go up and through those clouds. They looked so magical, so I started flying upward. I finally got to the clouds and started to go through them. They were very thick clouds and I started to feel a little claustophobic. So I told myself that I needed to create an air bubble around me. So I did. It was a very interesting feeling to be surrounded by that thick cloud. Finally I broke though to the top of the cloud.

I looked around. The cloud stretched out forever and glowed in the moonlight. It was beautiful. I wanted to lay down on the cloud and rest and just take it all in. But at this point I could feel the dream fade and I woke up.


Edit:

I want to point a couple of things out.

1. I woke up in the night at about 2:15 with the dog barking. I suddenly realized that I really wanted to recall all of my dreams of the night, so I searched my brain for dreams and was disappointed to find none. I told myself again as I drifted off that I was going to realize I was dreaming in the next dream I had. And it seems to have worked.

2. Also when I woke up the clock said 2:36...so the dream was actually quite short in spite of it seeming to go on for days within the dream. Every dream I have ever timed has surprised me how little time they actually take in real life.

3. Also I wasn't as lucid as I wished I had been. I never really thought about much and really just went with the flow. The flying was really nice and magical, but I never once thought about trying to complete a task. I never thought about my sister's book, or about looking at my hands or making CB appear.... . So I am considering this a somewhat low-level lucid. But it was still very satisfying to awaken from and realize what I had done.



I actually had two other dreams last night. One was quite vague. I remember something about flying indoors in this great big place. I was flying up to reach something. There were two guys watching me, and it made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how they would react to my ability to fly.

The last dream was quite perverted, so I am reluctant to say much. So I won't.

Edit 2:

I keep remembering things. When I woke up from my LD I had a false awakening. I remember talking to Jeff about my LD. But then he started reprimanding me. Telling me that I had talked in my sleep and that I had given away important secrets. I asked him to tell me what I had said. As he told me I wrote them down on a can on coconut milk. The one thing I remember was the phrase "Within three months time...". Apparently there was something very significant about that.

One of my old best-friends asked me to come over and hang out with her and one of my ex-boyfriends, and I said yes. She also said that she needed help cleaning her bathroom. I was going to go hang out with her, until one of my close guy friends asked to come over, and I ended up hanging out with him instead. After a while, she came to my backdoor and started yelling at me, and I told her to 'take it outside' haha. We argued, and then I ended up walking over to her house to apologize to her mom.

I was walking through some woods and there supposedly were zombies around. Things would turn orange if they were 'infected', and I'd have to shoot the orange targets to get everything back to normal. There was some girl in the woods who, after shooting her, turned into a dog. She started speaking, and explained that we could understand her because dogs really did speak english, just on higher frequencies.

I was in the car with my sister listening to music on full blast, and we waved hi to one of our friends in the car next to us. My sister started throwing hamster food at me, and I ended up getting really aggravated, so I threw some timothy hay back at her. My mom started yelling at me for throwing timothy hay at her, and said that I was being the immature one. When we got back to the house (I believe it was my old best-friends house), I ran upstairs in a vacant bedroom and shut the door because I was mad. This guy randomly came into the room.

The same guy took me to a hotel suite, filled with a bunch of random people. He explained that the 10 people in the room were runaways, and that we had to be cautious when we went to the dance that night. We walked to the dance, and ended up dancing together in a circle, while getting to know each other's names.

I was in the parking lot for my school, and I saw one of my ex-boyfriend's in a group with his new girlfriend and his friends. I was with my friends asking "Is that really him?" and it was. We all joined into one big group and he didn't acknowledge me. Then, there was something to do with swimming in a swimming pool as a way to get 'revenge' with his new girlfriend. (I don't remember much of that part).

I was going to take a shower, and I was all ready to get in, until my sister came barging into the bathroom. She yelled at me and said that she was going to take a shower first, and I told her that I was already getting in so too bad. She said "Fine! Then I'll get in!" And I was really mad, so I stormed out of the room and she yelled "Oh well!" after me. I remember calling her a bitch like 10 times and screaming (I believe I was screaming in bed as well).

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was standing in a corridor that looked like it had a wheelchair ramp built into it. The wall I faced was a window wall, extending all the way down the corridor. There may have been a hairpin turn along the wall to get to a tiny, glass-walled space before the exit door.

I probably stood right at the door, inside the building. Outside stood a family. They were all telling me goodbye. The family was white, kind of well-off-looking. There were an older dad, probably a mom, and a bunch of other people.

There were two little girls in the family, and I may have been attracted to the littler one. She may have been five or six years old.

I took some chance to hug the little girl. I had a feeling that if I hugged her, we could both share our feelings of attraction for one another in some secret way. I was sure she was attracted to me, too. But I didn't want to get in trouble for showing my feelings.

Later on I may have been in some cafe. I may have been sitting at a table with a white boy. The table we sat at was against a wall. I sat on one end of the table so that the wall was to my right. The boy sat at the adjacent end, so that he faced the wall.

He was probably gay. He was tall, kind of pretty. He had his hair shaved really close on the sides and then kind of flowing on top. He wore a grey jacket, and he may have had the collar of the jacket turned up.

The boy was kind of stuck-up, it seemed to me. I was pretty sure he hated me. I didn't want to bother him. But I was also kind of angry that he acted so stuck-up. I felt threatened, and I wanted to prove somehow that I wasn't threatened.

I was now back with the family at the door. The older sister was now talking to me. The older sister was maybe ten or eleven years old. She had blonde-brown hair and tan skin. She wore a white skirt and a turquoise tank-top.

The older sister told me that the little sister had gotten sick or something, so she couldn't hug anybody. So the older sister would have to hug me instead.

I knew that the older sister was attracted to me. I knew that she thought if she could just get a chance to hug me, she'd make me attracted to her instead of to her little sister.

I hugged the girl. She wasn't skinny, but her body, around her waist, felt strong. I did feel like I was attracted to her. But I didn't want her family to know. I didn't want to get in trouble.

I walked out the door with the family. I either held hands with the older sister or managed to do something with her like lift her up onto my shoulders, so she was riding on my shoulders.

Everybody in the family seemed pretty happy. For some reason, I asked the girl something either like, "If you knew this was the last day of your life, what would you do?" or, "If this were the last day of your life, could you truly say you've died happy?"

I was now back in the cafe with the tall, white boy. I had apparently asked him some question as well. He was writing something in a notebook. His handwriting was mostly capital letters, very blocky, in something like black, felt-tip pen. But he was also answering me. I had a feeling that he was finally coming around to liking me.

Then another boy sat across the table from me. He had olive skin and black hair, with his bangs kind of spiked down a bit over his forehead. He wore a brownish sweatshirt. He also seemed to be gay.

The first boy had at some point gone to open the door of the cafe so that some cool air could flow in. But the second boy sat next to the thermostat. He turned up the heat.

The first boy asked the second boy if he'd turned up the heat. The second boy said he had. It wasn't clear whether he'd done it because the open door was making him cold or because he wanted to keep the heat at a level that was sure to annoy the first boy.

The first boy stood up to go close the cafe door, assuming that if he did that, the second boy would turn down the thermostat. But as he stood up, the first boy said to the second boy, "You know, I'm really beginning to despise you."

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was out in a park, possibly as part of a school group. We all had to run a mile course around the park. For some reason this seemed like a lot to me.

We started running on a narrow dirt path. There was a dense row of short trees or tall shrubs, like junipers, to our left. I didn't really see anybody, and I myself felt like I was disembodied and floating over the dirt trail.

We worked our way up a hill and then turned left, out onto a wide lawn of dry, tan grass. To the right was a residential area. I don't think it was a part of the course, but I ran out there anyway.

My sister may have been with me. We went up one street, then turned back down it and headed toward the park. We then turned up another street, which curved around to the right a bit.

Just around the curve we saw a group of "gangsters" standing all the way across the road, blocking the street. The "gangsters" were a group of four or five tall, white boys wearing baggy jeans and t-shirts.

I knew those guys were nothing but trouble, especially for some guy and girl by themselves. So I turned myself and my sister around. We were walking by this time.

I was still afraid of the "gangsters" up the block, but I kept walking calmly. I was a little worried about whether my sister (who may also have been like my girlfriend) would think I was a coward for being so afraid.

As we approached the park, where I saw a few of my classmates (?) milling around after the run, I heard some hip-hop style song that I knew was popular. It was called "Destiny." (I had the melody in my head for a while, but I can't remember it now.)

I suddenly got really afraid. It was like I'd gotten so close to safety, I didn't want to lose it now by having the "gangsters" catch up with me. So I ran all the way into the park, and even past some small pine tree twenty or thirty meters into the park.

Dream #2

Two boys were driving a car on some road through the forest. The boys were both white, smart-looking, with kind of shaggy hairdos. One of the boys may have worn glasses. Some 1970s style song was playing on the car's radio.

The forest outside looked fake, almost as if it were a slightly grainy or overexposed projection, like for a music video. The view of the forest then changed to a view of fields of some kind of red-purple, thistly flower (which I'm pretty sure I mistakenly thought of as poppies).

The song also changed. It had previously been acoustic. But now, playing the same tune, it became electric.

I knew that something bad was going to happen. The music had become too "fateful." And now the car crashed into a tree. I may have thought at first that the boys were dead. But they were now outside the car, standing as if hiding behind it, looking out for some place they could go for refuge.

The two boys were on the outskirts of a college town. I may have thought it was Oxford. I was now in the scene, possibly as one of the boys or as myself. There was a tall church behind another, shorter building. The church seemed to be made of tan colored stone.

An old man pointed the church out to us as one of the most famous buildings in this town. I mentioned another church, probably designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. The man sighed in disgust and waved me off. He may have made a comment about how modern architecture isn't any good.

I was now in some different area, walking away from a different old man and a couple other people, possibly including a woman. The old man made a comment to the woman about how she should be careful, because it was going to rain today.

I walked down a straight road with flat fields of tall, tan grass (?) on either side of me. I wondered if it really would rain. It was so sunny right now. I didn't see how it could rain.

But suddenly it started raining. It was a pretty heavy rain, and there were no clouds in the sky. I thought that it would only get worse once the clouds got here. I knew that would be terrible. I had a long way to walk, and no umbrella. I'd be soaking wet when I got home.

I decided to fly home. I simply levitated myself into the air. I got three or four meters above the ground. Soon after I started flying, it stopped raining.

But I felt unstable, like I could fall at any minute. To stabilize myself I pulled off my backpack (?). I re-fit it to myself, so that I was now using some bottom flap and belt-like straps as a seat. I now had a a lot more stability.

I was pretty excited that I was flying "in waking life." But I told myself it was nothing unusual, and that as long as I stayed calm I'd keep flying.

I flew up toward a pretty thick intersection of power lines. I thought I'd fly over them, as "in the past" I'd always flown under them. It was tough, though, from this distance, to get a steep enough angle where I could fly over the wires.

Suddenly my sister was with me. I now saw some insulating coils connecting the wires to the poles. My sister, apparently thinking the coils were transformers, cried out, "Pop 'em! Pop 'em!" It was like she thought I could explode transformers with my mind.

I may have tried to explain to my sister that I wasn't trying to focus on that right now. But suddenly we veered away from the road and the power lines. We went off to the left over a field, but probably near another road.

I could see that up ahead was an intersection with a few buildings and shops, like a kind of busy rest station out on a long highway. But I was suddenly afraid to get up there. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see the place once I got there, as if I didn't have enough "imagination" for it.

I may have tried to remind myself that this was waking life, not a dream. If this was waking life, I wouldn't have to "imagine" that busy rest area. It would just be there.

But my fear was too much for me. And I landed in the field. My sister and I turned around and walked back toward the road we'd veered off from. There was now a big mountain on the other side of the road. The road itself may have been a little up on the mountain's face.

Dream #3

I was in "my family's bathroom" with my sister. My sister was telling me something about how to take a shower. It was pretty inconvenient, because there was something cluttering up the bathtub.

My sister was now gone, and I was all by myself. But, in the place of a toilet, my sister had left something like a gigantic potty-training seat, which was blocking up a lot of the bathroom. On top of that, there was something like a big head from an almost life sized action figure on the toilet seat.

I thought something to myself like, Isn't that just like my sister? To leave intruding signs of her presence, even when she isn't here? (My sister is *not* like that IWL.) But I decided not to be bothered by it. I'd just go take a shower.

But as I was getting into the shower, my mom banged on the door. She said, "I've got some bad stuff on you! Now I know what you've done to those kids!"

I thought, All my life I've been waiting for my mom to pin some kind of big thing on me. And I always knew it would have something to do with kids. There's nothing she could legitimately blame me for. But I'll find out what she's going to try and pin on me.

So I left the bathroom. My mom was sitting in the living room with my nephews, who were all little. My mom said, "You bought those kids Transformers for Christmas! You know they can't transform those things. It's just too frustrating for them. Plus, the parts break off! That's too dangerous."

My mom was playing with a little, yellow Transformer, about the color of a Caterpillar tractor. The Transformer had a little button on its chest.

I agreed with my mom that I'd made a bad choice in toys for my nephews. But I couldn't see how that would make me a bad person.

I looked up or over to a long set of drawers. On top of the drawers there stood a big toy. It was green and plastic, and it looked like a weird mix between a Venus Fly-Trap and a crane. The claw-scoop of the crane was connected to the rest of the toy by a black, elastic string.

The claw-scoop was closed, but I saw out of the top of it some pieces of what looked like a gigantic version of the Transformer Optimus Prime. Put together, I guessed, this Optimus Prime toy must have been almost a meter tall!

I got the idea that you could break apart the Optimus Prime toy. Then you could make the crane pick up the broken pieces. But -- somehow -- when the claw-scoop opened, it would actually move all the pieces together in such a way that the toy would be reconstructed.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in some place like a restaurant. It may have been on the second floor of a bulding. The wall to my right had a couple windows, which may have had thin, white curtains over them. I sat at a small, round table. There was a larger, round table in front of mine.

My family sat down at the larger table. Somebody, possibly my mom, sat down with her chair pulled slightly out and to the side, so she kind of faced me.

My oldest nephew, as he looked when he was young, maybe nine or ten years old, crept up and hid behind the woman's body. I saw him do it. I was pretty sure he'd wanted me to see him, like he was only acting shy so I'd come right up and talk to him.

So I stood up and walked behind the woman. I may have started talking to my nephew.

Dream #2

I was in the driveway of "my family's house." The driveway was on the left side of the house, unlike IWL. My sister had a huge SUV. She and her kids were already inside it. My sister was apparently going to take me somewhere, possibly home or to a hotel. But she asked me to go get some keys out of the house for her.

At first it seemed like these keys may have been for the car, or for some car I was being taken to. We couldn't leave without them. But I may have found these keys.

At some point I was in the hallway, probably on a threshold to a room, talking with my mom. My mom may have seemed to be a lot taller than I, as if she were a giant or I were a kid.

I may have gone back outside to have my sister send me back into the house again. This time my sister needed keys for something for one of my nephews.

My nephew apparently needed to go to the doctor. But the keys were necessary for something regarding either the doctor's office or my nephew's actual body.

I went back into the house. I may have gone into the basement. It seemed like it was taking me a really long time to find the keys. I may have decided to give up and tell my sister that maybe she should look.

But then I was in the kitchen. I opened a drawer and found the keys inside, laying on a blank pad of sketch paper. There were three keys on a ring. They may have been inside a clear, plastic baggie.

Dream #3

I was at some theatre. At first I was in some part of the lobby. I was getting ready to watch some performance like a college or high school performance. Some kids who'd be performing were in the lobby, talking with each other. One of them was a tall, black boy.

Now I was in the theatre with my friend H. We sat in the very front row, on the very left end. The stage seemed normal, though slightly elevated. It was all black, and a blue spotlight shone on it. There may have been something like a wooden-barred cage on the stage.

Something about this performance may have had to do with Kiyoshiro Imawano and, possibly, Ryuichi Sakamoto. My friend H seemed to be really excited about this. But I got mad at her. I told her, "I've seen Kiyoshiro Imawano and ----- (possibly Ryuichi Sakamoto) performing here before!"

I was so mad at H for once more forgetting the details of my life that I had her twisted sideways, down on my lap. I had her head twisted up at a really painful angle toward the stage.

Now the play began. A bunch of kids kept coming out and introducing themselves. The play seemed to be about a bunch of cool, artistic kids all living together. As each kid took introduced him or herself, he or she would take a spot somewhere on stage.

A few black boys walked out and introduced themselves. I recognized one of them as one of the kids talking in the lobby. The stage was now low and bowed out in a kind of wide U-shape. I felt like the stage was smashing against my knees.

I remembered that my friend H had said she didn't have time to come to the show, and how she'd see me to the show and then leave. But, I happily remarked, H had come in and sat down with me. Now the show had started, and H still hadn't tapped my shoulder or anything to let me know she was leaving. She must have wanted to stay!

But I now looked over to H's seat. H was gone. She had left without telling me. She may have left a book in her chair.