All DJ Entries

OK, so I am going to do this, although I am not sure I have enough time to log my dreams twice - once in my DJ notebook and once here (and to translate them into English and make them readable). So I am going to keep this to LDs and the most interesting NLDs.

As someone with some LDs in past and as someone interested in dreams in general, I am often quite aware in my dreams/of my dreams but at the beginning, it was frustrating. It felt like being stuck in 0 layer lucidity and almost lucid dreams but not getting there.
Some interesting snippets from these dreams:

comment dream

12 Feb
At the airport, I see a big clock. I have the idea to check if they work. The clock arms point to 2 and 10. I think "People on Reddit were wrong, clocks work in dreams" and continue trying to catch my plane.

15 Feb
I don't like how the dream is going (someone's trying to kill me). I pause the dream and think "Really? Does it have to end like this? Can I do something to stop it? No, it's too late." I expect to wake up (I guess) but the dream resumes and shifts to a continuation in near future.

16 Feb
In a train, going down a very steep hill, extremely fast, like a rollercoaster. I am thinking: "We are too fast" but also "It will be fine". I know it doesn't matter.

17 Feb
I try to use magic against Severus Snape, it fails and I think: "Magic never works in dreams."

I am with my father in a boat and he misses a waterfall and we go over the edge. I am mad and I think: "We will 'die' and this will end. Or maybe not. Let's see." We are fine after the impact.
It's like I am almost never afraid of consequences in my dreams.

23 Feb
I 'know' this is a recurring dream. Or game. I did this before. I played this. I tell other DCs/players how it normally goes but this time it's different. A bomb explodes later because my friend makes a mistake and we 'lose' and are all dead.

25 Feb
I am hunted by some DCs and I use magic to defeat them. This time, I am more confident and I think: "Magic works in my dreams" and I create a force field and it works.
In my past, I would consider this dream as lucid... but I didn't really reflect in any way on the dream. I consider these dreams semi-lucid.

27 Feb - Trying FILD
FILD FA - my 1st FA - I tried FILD but wasn't able to find a good position for my hand so I gave up
I am lying in a corner of some town square, like a homeless. I think: "This corner is certainly dirty" but it doesn't smell. I have my blanket over me and I am trying to find a position for FILD. I can't find one, so I think: "It is a stupid technique" and go to sleep.
Later - FILD reality check
I am awake with closed eyes and I want to try FILD again. I feel like I was doing it for hours at that point and lost a lot of sleep to it. I decide to sit and do nose-plug reality check. I am sitting and my nose is weird, wet and slimy. I am shocked. But I also hear my husband breathe and I think: "This is not possible, I can't be asleep" and immediately, I am back lying, this time really awake.
I am mad and I think I got no sleep at all. Then I start remembering dreams from the last cycle - the FA and three other dreams.

In the next entry - finally a LD!

Creepy red creature
I am a spectator of a woman living on a sort of high tower. She did something that will make some sort of demon monster come and run up the tower to kill her. She waits and it's suddenly there and throws her against a wall with rather whacky physics, like in a video game, and blood splatters everywhere. The creature looks somewhat like an enemy from SUPERHOT. Then suddenly it's like real and I am now on the tower and did something. I watch it in terror, it's running up the stairs to the tower and is there soon. Then suddenly it's in front of me and also throws me against the wall and kills me. Then I am at home, and my mother did something that made me think it will make it come up. I complain to her and she tells me she doesn't believe it. I think about how it even gets into houses, and I tell my mother to properly lock the door, but she takes her time and keeps telling me things, and when she finally goes to lock the door, it seems to be too late. But then nothing happened and for some reason my mother is gone. Then the dream fades a bit and apparently I'm lying in bed. I get a bit aware that I am dreaming and try to open my real eyes to wake up, but it doesn't really work and I can only open my dream eyes, so I build up confidence since I think that the creature might be right in front of me. But it isn't there, so I stand up to see the brightly lit, but way too silent room. Outside, it is very dark. Then I hear very loud breathing, coming from everywhere at once. It had to do something with my mother, and I really wanted to wake up. And, as I wished, it worked this time. At some point, there was also some game title screen with the title "Worry - The game".

---

That was creepy. Quite a cool dream. Also good that I got a bit aware at the end there, but not aware enough to remember that I could change the scene instead of waking up. Sad that I lost the opportunity. Also, that "Worry - The game" part might be a pretty funnily obvious reference to how I feel every day.

28th August 2020 DFLN

Fragment 8:30

Woke up unusually early (not needing to, at least) and from some kind of FA. I was in bed with H and I turned and there was a mantis/grasshopper thing on his pillow. I woke him up and alerted him to it.

Then I got up from bed as H was asking me to find his cheapo soldering iron to kill the bug with. It was skittering about and seemed smarter than an average bug. It was about the size of a ping-pong ball.

The bug then eventually appeared on top of the bed again and H tried to make it go away (by blowing at it?) and when he did, the soldering iron then just appeared (the red and white one) and he grabbed it and started whacking at the bug with it like a weird whip.

Semi-Lucid Fragment 9:30

In a strange (and even more) cluttered version of our home. I went downstairs to the kitchen, the tap was dripping (as it had been for a while) and I knocked my fist against it and a bunch of water splurted out.

I was then doing something but H was here and had to go, his dad was here to pick him up. I walk with them down some blue carpeted stairs? Awful railing/banister, far too high. There's some sunlight at some point, that I appreciate.

They leave and I come further down to close the front door, which is off its hinges. It's a big thick blue painted door made of actual wood, not exactly like our door actually is. Outside the doorway was a busy city street, like the capital of my native home.

Then as I'm faffing around with door, trying to get it back on its hinges, M (from MB) shows up. She's on a bike and so is her new boyfriend, which looks to be a bit of a nasty one, superficially.

She asks me how I'm doing and remarks I'm not looking so good. I notice that she's much thinner and she even mentions it herself. I congratulate her on her weight loss and give her a thumbs up as she cycles away, I think with a smile. Her mouth had been slavering like hell the whole time and her nose looked icky inside.

Then I'm slightly outside, still struggling with the door. But I realise I'm naked and think of going back in so the people in the street don't start staring at me. But then I say to myself "Hang on a minute, I'm naked, in a public street, with loads of people... But I'm dreaming." I become semi-lucid at this point and became increasingly aware of my real body, not managing to stay in the dream properly, especially as I started to become aroused for no reason, my real body just became too evident and so I just woke up

---

Notes:
- In the second dream, M's better outer appearance felt like a genuine message of self-improvement on her part, but now that I'm thinking about it, her icky nose/mouth context sort of suggests a rotten inside in some sense. In addition to that, she was together with a (seemingly) bad person, again.
- Oddly enough, I didn't remember the bit where she'd mentioned I wasn't looking so good but I don't remember feeling unwell in the dream.
- In the first fragment, I think I was naked, but there was nothing unusual about it since I'd just gotten out of bed in the FA; the bug would have been a good cue for a RC in that fragment.

Semi-lucidity! Trying shapeshifting.
In the beginning there was some sort of scary things, it was like a catalog of drugs that make your dreams insane with illustrations of what you could see, most notably a drug that is some sort of mineral which looks like some really demonic face with a mouth stretched down for meters, an unhealthy reddish skin and dead white eyes, and it made you see faces like that in your dream. Then it was somewhat about Subnautica. But then I was at home and suddenly I had a small amount of heightened awareness that it might be a dream. Then there was a sort of puppet but it was alive and I brought it into a room and closed the door to protect us from something. We went outside again and there were intimidating people and it was also like I read something bad about them. They said something I don't remember. I went past them and at the window were also some intimidating people I couldn't get past. I went back to the room.

I don't remember the part right before it, but I knew I was dreaming and did multiple reality checks and they all told me I was in a dream, so, now aware, I thought of something to do. The dream was very unclear and I totally forgot about stabilizing, but didn't even notice, so this was at most semi-lucid. I went to a mirror and tried transforming into a dragon. I didn't manage to do it at all since I hadn't at all had a visualization of the dragon I'd want to transform in. I tried doing it by looking to the mirror and back once I had an idea of what I wanted. As it didn't work after multiple attempts I just tried a tail at first, and that worked... somewhat. I didn't really take the right idea at all from the beginning anyway. The tail was there, but it was numb and had no feeling. And it was green, and I wanted it blue, so I just looked away and back again, and there it was blue. Then I just sort of gave up. I went away to see if I could manage to breathe fire at the people I couldn't get past, but I just forgot about it and tried to do something else. At some point I lost lucidity somewhat and slightly fell back into the plot about these demonic faces. Then I got excited over something and I woke up quite a lot. I then remembered the shapeshifting tutorial, and I wanted to do it. I remembered dream chaining, laid completely still, aaaaanddd... my parents managed to wake me up on accident.

---

Glad to know my practice is working. Not sure what to improve for next time, though. Maybe I should just continue as usual with my practice.

This weekend I started using a more intense regimen for day work and night work to increase dream recall and lucidity. It worked (somewhat)!

Day work: relaxed ADA, i.e. every few hours I do ADA for an hour. During that hour, every 10 minutes I remember in detail what I was doing 10 minutes ago. Also, each time I take my dog for a walk, I do walking meditation and focus on all of my senses.

Night work: night meditation before bed and in bed, setting intentions for WBTB, and SSILD during WBTB. Started keeping a physical DJ instead of using my phone in the morning. As I'm falling asleep initially, I revisit past NLs and visualize that I do an RC and calmly go through my lucid checklist -- calmly state that I'm dreaming, get a good look of my surroundings, start moving through the dream, once I feel somewhat stable scream "clarity now!" (and expect it), keep setting goals for myself to move forward, and most of all, feel calm and confident with an expectation of success.

---

Aug 17 2018 (morning of)

Begin day work, but no night work yet -- no LDs, but recorded several NLs.

---

Aug 18 2018

Day work, begin new night work.
Two semi-lucids (SL) and one LD, as well as a greater number of NLs than normal.

SL: I'm in a bus. I can feel warm sunlight through the window on my left arm. I'm going down a street near my childhood home. At some point, I become semi-lucid and begin to drive instead of being a passenger. I shift to 3rd person view, and I'm able to zoom and rotate the viewpoint to behind and around the bus, lower to the ground, higher, etc. Eventually I arrive at the end of the street and turn down a shortened version of the waking life street--this place reminds me of the wooded area near where I send my dog for day care when we go out of town. There's an outdoor party under a pavillion that in waking life is used to shelter tractors. My fiance, mother, and sister are all there with other random DCs.

LD: I find myself in an opulent room with deep red walls. The beams and columns are wooden and gold, with gold trim on everything in the room. There is a wooden desk ten feet in front of me with scattered scrolls/books/papers and other golden/brass instruments sitting atop it. The room feels cluttered but I can't remember with what -- bookshelves, tapestries? All around me deep red, wood, and gold are prevalent. I look at my hands and each of my fingertips has a small twisted mouth on it, similar to the strange writhing creature on the tree in Twin Peaks Season 3. I instantly become lucid and say "I'm dreaming". I begin to walk forward towards the table and repeat again, louder: "I'm dreaming!" Then I scream at the top of my lungs "Clarity now!", however I may have doubted myself too much, and the words come out garbled. The visual intensity increases greatly and I physically rise up from the ground. I can see there is some sort of light source on the light beige/tan ceiling, and suddenly I'm dropped back to the ground, as if the dream is rejecting me and literally spitting me out of the dream. I don't pop out of the dream, but it fades extremely quickly. The total length was probably less than 10 seconds.

Other SL omitted for quadruple X rating and just plain bizarreness.

---

Aug 19 2018

Day work and night work.
One LD, lots of NLs (more than normal).

LD: As soon as I enter the dream, before even examining my surroundings, I feel aware. I look at my hands and calmly say "I'm dreaming!" and feel pretty stable. The sky is reddish and very dark. I am standing on some igneous rock or basalt, with patches of dried yellow grass, some of which look as if they're illuminated by sunlight. There is also some gravel. I walk forward a few paces and set goals to walk to this patch of grass, then this one. I start to feel worried about the stability of the dream, so I drop to the ground and scream "Clarity now!" as I rub the palms of my hands and knees against the gravel and rock. As I was falling to my knees, the position of my legs and knees relative to my hands feels off--like they didn't exist before I dropped down. As I walk I realize that the rock that I'm on is sort of a cliff or hill, and that there's a dirt path on the ground level a few feet below the dropoff. I look up and see several houses ahead. The sky is darker near the houses. I'm level with the dirt path as the path rose up and the cliff dropped down to a point where they met. I stand up and pass the first, smaller one on my left. I believe the front door was open. The second house is larger and somewhat menacing. I feel some subconscious fear, and suddenly I dream bursts and I'm awake (or in an FA, which I really need to learn to convert). I think this one lasted somewhere around 30-45 seconds.

---

Aug 20 2018

Return to daily regimen only -- no lucids, only about 3 NLs remembered.

Note: If you are part of DawnEye11's group, avoid reading this entry unless you feel like there may be something that meshes with your own experience.

This was not a lucid dream, but rather semi-lucid.



I am walking about outdoors and see oriental structures at a distance. I wonder if it's Gyeongbokgung Palace from the Shared Dream Experiment. Approach close to it. I see some people pulling in some sort of cart. I slowly walk inside an archway . I see what appears to be couple of guards with swords approach the cart. They walk along side it. These guards wore colorful clothing. I'm actually not sure if they had swords alone. Some seemed to be spear and maybe bows. I'm not sure. It's a bit fragmented. I believe there animals at a distance. Cats or dogs, I'm not sure. I decide to back out at this point thinking "what if it's not a dream?".

So, I remember that I had this strange power and that some people were trying to kill me because of it. Apparently, my power was to be able to communicate with animals. Then I remember being thrown into this arena with a HUGE ant. I was scared at first but then I started talking to it and managed to calm it down.

Then, I remember saying, "This is strange...It's almost as if it's a dream and I'm the one in control." so prior to this I was sorta semi-lucid, but after saying this I remember becoming completely lucid.

After that, I decided to fly around a bit and then I decided to try to go into the world of my favorite video game, Undertale.
So I looked into a window and saw my favorite characters hanging out at the beach together, so I tried going through the window but failed, I was afraid I was gonna fail but then I decided I wanted this dream to be different, for once I wanted to succeed into getting what I wanted, so I remembered telling myself to stay determined and continued forcing myself through the window, and I succeeded.

I then ran towards Sans, who was just chilling on his chair, I then remember that as soon as he noticed me, he said, "Hey kid, what took ya so long?" and he held his hand out to me, I gently grabbed his hand and then as I was trying to hug him, I woke up...

So... I had a good time, I guess? XD It's better than getting dunked on.

I'm in a mall with open plan shops on both sides and a walkway with escalators in the middle. I'm trying to find my shoes. It seems that the footlockers have been removed from a certain shop. I have a memory in the dream that the shop gave me back my shoes before the lockers were removed. What a relief. Scene transition. I'm in a large hall. It's kind of dark. Seems to be a dining area. There are games machines in the far corner. I decide I'll have a play on one. In the game I'm in some kind of ghost town I guess. For some reason I hear kids outside of the game, as if I'm hearing reality while dreaming. I get the idea I'm dreaming for some reason and the kids are disturbing it. Probably because I was reading Sivason's dream journal about incorporating external noise into the dream. Instead of incorporating it I decide to get mad at the kids and start yelling "get out of my dream!" and "shut up!" I suppose I'm semi lucid now and I decide to remove everything from the dream because I'm pissed at how much crap is going on. I make the dream black and decide I'll WILD. What? Within a dream? You're already dreaming! I'm waiting in darkness. (I guess I'm in NREM?) I start getting HH. It's petty intense and loud and the image of a woman's face forms in my mind. Then I realise that I've woken up because I see light from my bedroom. I think about DEILD but I've already moved and need to pee. Pretty impressed I could recall this much despite having had quite a bit to drink last night.

Background

I'd known about lucid dreaming for a long time, but it took longer for me to experience it, and it was essentially spontaneously. I'd found I could accidentally go through a WILD-like trance when struggling to fall asleep after waking up early. The dreams would start off at a distance, like a television screen, and then become 'real', often as dream chains that I had some conscious influence over. Sometimes they were fragmented (e.g. being frozen in darkness, having very blurry vision, or the only sensation being the feeling of flying very fast), but now and then the clarity and reality of the scenes I experienced would blow me away. Still, I was unable to stabilise them. A few days ago I discovered that spoken commands like 'increase lucidity' could turn a vague fragment into a full-fledged visual scene, which was encouraging.

Waking Myself Up From A Burglary Dream

I'd told myself that I would write up any dreams I'd have that night and post them to DV for my first entry, so it's only fitting that I ended up having my first (semi-)lucid nightmare. After waking up in the morning and went back to sleep, I had a dream where I was sitting around a table with a few people, including, I think, a family friend. I was concerned about an exam that was coming up. I was worried that a question about acid-base chemistry was going to come up; something involving a base in ammonia, and I was sure that it was some other substance than the ammonia itself - NaBH4 or NH4OH. But the exam was cancelled because of an outbreak of 'parainfluenza', and this news was accompanied by the image of a woman with sore-looking yellow eyes. Since it was cancelled, I could rest easy and go to sleep.

This led into another dream where I was at home in the night, looking down the stairs so that I could see an area near the front door. I heard noises near the front door and looked closer. There was a fairly short man standing there. I thought it was my father - though I wasn't expecting to see him - so I called out to him. Rather than respond in kind, he shushed me, and I realised that it was an intruder. More of these intruders came through, so I retreated into a nearby empty room. At this point I began to suspect something was off. I thought I might be dreaming, but if so I wanted to wake up, so I could be sure and not have to worry about the intruders anymore. This wish suddenly ended the dream. It was replaced by text filling my field of view, being read off by a calm male voiceover. It said something along the lines of, "Welcome to your lucid dream. Wake up now or wake up dead in two weeks." At the time I think I had enough critical faculties to not be sure if this was right, but I realised I was in sleep paralysis and I really wanted to get out of it. I found that, surprisingly, I could slightly move my body with great effort. With what felt like a lot of willpower, I forced myself to move and woke up.

There wasn't any lingering feeling of terror, which is my usual criterion for a nightmare, but I think this fit the bill, if only because it made me realise that a semi-lucid dream could still be unpleasant.

Video Game Fragments

I was watching a boy playing a FPS game, switching between my view of him and a view inside the video game itself. He was clearing a large building with many corridors similar to a hospital - of what enemy I don't know - and then went up a curved staircase, which had many offices running alongside it, arranged in a staircase fashion themselves. The general aesthetic was wood and blue light. By entering this area he went into a sort of mini-game where he blitzed through the offices at high speed, which also involved strips of light flashing on his mousemat very fast. I thought it involved predicting the lights, but when I asked he told me that it was actually a very fast memory game, which observation seemed to confirm.

I thought about the idea of being sleep-deprived from addiction to virtual reality. I imagined a person distracting themselves from their tiredness by immersing themselves more into it. I have a dream in which I see scenes from an online FPS game called Xibalba, which I think actually represent a place within one level. Bizarrely, I also pondered the merits of a religion that worships the electron transition in one type of molecule (containing nitrogen!) versus a rival religion that worships another.

I was in the family room of my (real-life) house with a stout, strong man with an orange beard (like Gimley from LOTR, but a little taller than me) and another 18 yr. or-so blond anime boy (who I felt was named Louis, but I didn't ask).
I knew they were my friends/companions. I somehow got my in-dream eyes open (using a method I read the day before). I was on the floor (due to method) my brothers in front of me playing cars. It looked to be about 14 hours. I got up, took a frisbee and pretended it was a circular tablet and clicked on it as if it was. I clicked on the spot where I wanted "fly app" to be. To use fly app, you turn it over (screen touching your head) and think "go" to fly straight up. I pushed (or broke) out of the glass of the sliding door, got outside. My backyard was a meadow/prairie type, 4 times its real size. It was bright outside, blue sky with clouds and glimpses of planets through the clouds. I do a senses test (which makes me very happy). I try to teleport to a hill (cut out of a mountain) in sight that had snow-covered prarie grass on it. We succesfully teleport! Apparently someone is chasing us (dog-aliens who walk on two legs. Have rayguns)(Dream turns to semi-lucid) We take flight into space by using my tablet on my head, Gimli-guy hugging my waist, "Louis" holding onto my knees. (Flying is quite hard, considering the speed and the fact that I can't see where I'm going plus some complications from my buddies' arguing) We can breathe in space. We look for a safe/suitable planet (apparently there were big aliens on all the big planets). We pick out a small planet of the cluster of 15? Planets around us, Fly towards it, turns out to be Earth. We fly back, land on the moon. Which is like a half-sphere with a map on the top (where we landed) apparently most of it was claimed by a vicious alien colony, so we flew away. Picked a purple planet next. To land, had to close eyes and imagine being on it. (Since the outside I landed on was like a hard, giant [but not as big as the real planet] sphere that could not be entered without teleportation)

Eyes open in a room like my family room, remodeled with a stage, screens, and as a larger room. My sister was with me, there were 7? teens a few years older than me asking us to join their practice for God's Rods (a club at our church). We agreed. My sister did horribly (I had the feeling two of the boys liked her). I nailed it. My friends (Gimli-guy and Louis) were in the adjoining kitchen (preparing snacks?)

A while later, I look out the glass sliding door window and see the dog-aliens, but just normal dogs on four feet.

I forgot the rest, but know there wasn't much more.

I’m in New Zealand mountain biking by myself. I’m catching tons of air and biking on very narrow and uneven passages but I’m not scared at all. Something happens that keeps me for a long time and when I go to return the bikes it’s night time and the gates are closed. I don't know what I’m going to do. Then I realized that the blue gate is motion sensored, so i get in. The workers take my bike and I get ushered to the front of the line.

I’m playing a game with a group of people. We are listening to a recording and watching a screen of random images and we have to come up with a good catchphrase in under 1.5 minutes. My recorder isn’t working at first. I see an aerial view of the flight paths to and from New Zealand and think of saying something about a plane but I don’t know enough about them. There is an underwater mountain range to the north east of NZ and an island called New Delhi.. Then I see an image of a woman in the ocean and one her breasts is sticking out of the water. I decide on “Tits: Because everything in the ocean is naked anyway” and I think it is so hilarious. All of a sudden I’m in the ocean swimming with B&A. There’s a koi fish following me and I try to bop it away because it grosses me out. A looks scared and tells me to swim fast. I assume it’s a shark and know that I’m not fast enough to out-swim a shark. I swim toward the boat and am amazed how fast I am. Turns out it was a massive group of koi fish chasing us. I wake up within another dream and tell my husband about my hilarious catchphrase.

I see a series of small children doing a funny hobbit dance in hobbit style clothes. It is so cute. I find out that they belong to attractive, young, trendy lesbians. All of them adopted except for one girl who claims to be the only one with both of her mothers’ genes. I’m not sure how that’s possible. Perhaps a three way mixture of both eggs and the donor sperm. I’m in the dining room and one of the lesbians who looks a bit asian american is painting henna free-hand on the wall. She tells me I need to unleash the intense creative power within me.
I’m renting out a duplex with my older sister. There’s a couple that live next door, but our places are also connected from the inside. Sometimes we use their bathroom. Once the man knocked on our door, asking to hang out. My sister is uncomfortable but I feel like we owe him so I allow him in. I go to sleep at some point and wake up in the middle of the night with him next to me. He’s pinning me down. He tries to tickle me a little bit. I scream at him but can't make any sound. I weakly realize it's because I'm dreaming. I try to get away. I finally break free and he follows me. I get my sister and tell that we need to leave now. She’s paralyzed with fear so I carry her out to the side of the road that looks like my parent’s street. There are a lot of white cars and I don’t know which one is ours. I unlock one and he gets in the driver seat and drives away, thinking I’m in there with him. I unlock my mom’s van and we frantically get inside and peel out. We’re taking an alternate route to my mom’s work. When I get to her work I write what happened with a quill and ink on a belt and in a black and white fashion magazine. Then I go to work, which happens to be a high end fashion show. He’s there and part of the show. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s so sweet and innocent. It makes me sick. My husband is there. After the show he goes to work an Asian breakfast restaurant and ignores us when my husband gently confronts him. I go home. I turn on the light in my bedroom and he’s laying in my bed with sunglasses. This is the second time he’s done that. “I told you you have to stop doing that!” I yell at him. At this point I decide that my best strategy is manipulating him, since resisting hasn’t worked. I get in bed and ask him why he’s doing this. We have an argument about dolphin swimming and water depth. He tries to impress me by showing me the millions of “stickies” he has under the covers for his cell phone. We go together to a different room that looks like my mom’s room. We’re playing baseball with a bunch of older kids in there. He’s the coach. Everything is disorganized. I bide my time and then after a while, say I have to go to the bathroom. I grab my phone that I left the previous night and I go into my bedroom. I contemplate that it’s a lot like Becky’s old bedroom. I try and think of a solution to my predicament. I think of asking people on dream views how to get rid of a stalker. But I realize it would be a dream stalker, following me and assaulting me in all of my dreams.

At my grandma's. There’s a party. I just woke up upstairs and walk downstairs to the bathroom. I’m in boxers and a shirt that says something about beer and hamburgers. I have sunglasses on my head and my hair looks nice for just waking up. D has some responsibilities he’s tending to and JM calls me a dyke with a dick. I’m pissed and a feud ensues. I tell D all about it at the restaurant he owns. I see memes about the Krusty Krab menu looking like Monopoly games: “the look you give when you lose a game of monopoly and have to clean it up”. We’re interrupted when the party comes into his restaurant. I leave and go into a bedroom to go to sleep. My sister is there and we have to share a bed. JM comes in and I tell her I can’t be around that many people without being drunk. She gets in bed next to my sister and they start masturbating each other. I tell them, “I know what you’re doing. Stop. Don’t do that when I’m here.” My sister plays dumb but JM doesn’t. I ask her about all the party people she brought with her. She says they are magical beings and the only way to get rid of them is to trap them in a nitrous oxide tank. I call D since he just got certified in scuba diving. He says he’s not allowed to do that because it would take too much pto. I go to the restaurant and see a giant gorilla with a blue, prosthetic arm that is shaped just like a stick that tapers at the end. We are poking him with ski sticks but it’s just pissing him off. That’s it. We’re going to die. I don’t know what to do. I remember we have Fragarach (a magical sword) so I grab it and chop off the gorilla’s arms and head. I can’t remember if I grabbed it from a table or D’s back. The inside of the restaurant looks like my aunt's old house.
Later I am walking down the street people-watching. I see an attractive blonde couple sitting at a table outside with ice cream. I sit down at a table across the street. It’s dawn. Eventually I look to my right and there’s a girl I kinda recognize. She’s been trying to get my attention. “Didn’t you hear me?!” She exclaimed. “No. Im half deaf right now.” I reply. She asks what D’s business hours are because they’re inconsistent and not adhered to. She says they went to Thailand on what ended up being an extended vacation where they tried to start a restaurant. Now they want to talk to D about the restaurant business. I tell them that by now it’s 6 a.m. so people should be already coming for breakfast and he should be there. He’s been there all night. I go to his restaurant and they had put a sticky sign up next to his hours sign that said they will return to look for him in 5 hours. I go inside and there was a pile up of vehicles. D’s truck was in the middle. AW had a white car off to the left that didn’t get hit. I talked to AW and she told me about what happened. She grabbed a sticky pad like the one that was put by the hours sign and said it’s the shape that represents her sun sign or something. She put it on her back like a tramp stamp. I talked about how the media is going to be so confused about this accident. How unusual, a pile up..inside a building!!

I’m swimming in murky, mossy water next to a bunch of Japanese people on vacation. They think it feels good, I’m just trying not to touch the bottom because I'm grossed out. People get out of a watering hole just in time before it overflows. They think it's fun.

D and I are walking through a building. He talks about being a Monk. It’s something he’s interested in. I see jiujitsu type robes but it turns out they’re pants that come up to the waist with a square cutout at the very center. It's specifically for the monks. The monks overhear him talking about his interest and invite him to talk with them. He does and I leave the room and wait for him in the entrance of the bulding. Girls are coming in to take showers. They start whispering that I lost my husband. I look around and am not seeing him. “Oh no, I lost him again.” I asked the Monks where he went and they started acting very shady. They were Indian. They wanted money before they told me. I gave them the coin they asked for and then they were telling me multiple things, unsure of which lie to stick with. I became really upset. I told them this shouldn’t be that hard. All of them were silent except the one to my left. I looked their monastery up online. There were pics of D on their website as though he worked there. They had quotes from him and stories about Western repressed sexuality. But then someone had posted an undercover video of the Monks called, “The only thing they want to give you is LIES”. Now I was furious and felt sick. I went back to them. The talkative guy had gone into a glass box like a protected receptionist's desk. I told him, “I have a lot of money,” and showed him a handful of coins from my pocket. “I will give it all to you but you have to tell me where he is and you have to be right about it. If I find him I will come back and pay you.” He refused. He said nothing. I felt a huge sense of loss and despair. I wondered if this was a dream. This was so awful it had to be a dream. But it was so real. I thought really hard about what is real and woke up with a startle and reached in the bed to make sure my husband was actually there. Then I fell back asleep and re-entered the dream. I walked outside into the courtyard. Naturally, I figured he shape shifted into a snake. I called for him and got down on all fours so I’d be easier to see. I even hissed. Then I saw his phone and my old phone in someone’s yard. It had a lot of missed calls on it from me. I walked up to the house and there were people inside talking. A couple. They were talking about how he’s in a relationship, a religious one (marriage). I want to break in to look for D but I know that if I do, I’ll have to kill those people.

So today I had to wake up way earlier than usual to watch my friend's dog. I went back to sleep at around noon and set my alarm for 1:30PM. The first half of the sleep was very frustrating because I didn't think I had really slept at all but was thinking about a lot of things. Then, I was in sleep paralysis for a couple of seconds before waking up. Out of nowhere, I become determined to lucid dream. So, I lay on my back and start thinking 'Okay keep your mind awake.' My eyelids showed a light blue scene. My imagination brings me to this open field with green grass and an expansive light blue sky in the background. In the distance are rows of houses. I try to imagine my house and spin right to see it before me, but I don't see it and I fall a bit. I float down to the ground as two tall men dressed in flannels approach me. For some reason my mind thinks they might have a gun and sure enough they both do. One of them shoots me in the right hip and I fall back onto the ground. They come up and start talking to me before my mind is focused on something else, the moon. I've always wanted to go hangout on the moon in a lucid. My mind pushes the thought away before I decide I really want to do it. So, I tell myself I'm floating upwards to the sky where I can see the moon in the distance and sure enough I float away from the field. Now, I'm surrounded by black space as small star-like figures pass by me quickly, 100s around me. As I get closer to the moon, it turns out to be way different. The moon is a sphere but not solid. It has silver streaks coming from inside the core of the moon and around it. It was actually quite empty besides the 5 or 6 streams of silver making up a sphere shape. I float over it before falling into another scene.

I start at the ceiling of a large middle school-like gym as I think to look at my hands. They are very real to me. I sort of spin down onto the floor so I see the entirety of the room. There are about 15 people in this pretty big gym. It's a school dance happening before me. Young kids are dressed up with their respective dates. It's weird because I've actually come to this gym before in another dream but didn't remember it until I was there again in this semi-lucid. So, that thought hits my mind as I look around the room. Red ribbons decorate the outer edges of the room, even going over the basketball hoop that is still down. For some reason, my mind thinks it knows the plot to this story. Suddenly, I'm next to these two middle school girls. One says to the other, "the only reason I'm going with my date is because he's cool." My mind knew she was going to say something mean before she said it. Then, I'm part of their conversation. The girls are different now. I get a good look at them to see one of them is holding close to her date on the right, while the other is very close looking at me. Turns out, I know this girl in real life. I have 4 classes with her and kinda have been crushing on her for the entire semester. I grab hold of her and we start to kiss.

My mind turns to sexual things. Her and I are suddenly swept away into my bed. We continue to kiss as she's in my bed on top of me. We start to go into other things for about 20 seconds before we sit up and talk. I don't really remember what was said, or if anything was said, but then I go down on her. She starts to moan very loudly.

I have a false awakening where my friend walks in and I realize the girl isn't there with me. Disappointment strikes me as I lay back down. Then, I hear the girl from the left of me go "phew, he didn't see me."

Another false awakening happens where I hear zipping. Like someone zipping up a jacket but it was very loud right next to me and continuous. I sit up to see this older deformed man looking at me with a jacket on. He tells me "I live in your closet."

Third false awakening, all I remember is there are bunk beds in my room and my friend and I are yelling about each other stealing things. I end up with a notebook in my hand walking in some park towards swings, before thinking that I'm too young to be there so I turn around and walk down these steps that have handrails and people laying on them.

It's been a few weeks since I've had a lucid dream (even longer since I've written about one).

I remember being transported to the "future" which seemed to follow the ideas of the TV series Fringe, in the way that in this future there are advance humans that have the ability to read your mind, and try to control ordinary citizens with this ability. I remember being in the future with my boyfriend, and a friend of ours. We had gone to an old run down movie theater which apparently we had made long ago to be our "headquarters" for the resistance against these advance mind-reading humans. When I had walked inside, I had found everything to be falling apart and covered in dust. I had also found our faithful dog companion, and it looked like he had been living there for years, waiting for us to return.

I had felt so bad for the dog, as it had looked like he had not been eating well for quite some time. I had decided to get a hold of some dog food to help nurture our friend back to health. All three of us had gotten into a car, where my friend had suggested that I drive. It was at this point that I became somewhat lucid because I had said to her "Are you sure? I'm not really great with driving cars, especially in dreams..." I had shown her the difficulty with driving while in a dream when I tried to stop the car outside a gas station, and had trouble getting the car to come to a complete stop. The car only stopped completely when I had focused my attention and "stopped" it with my mind. I walked into the gas station where I began picking out bags of dog food. It was then that a few of those mind reading humans came into the station, with their guards right behind them. I knew that they would be looking for us, or at least sense us to be suspicious, so while I was attempting to pay for the dog food, to combat the obvious mind reading, I began reciting musical scales in my head. I had to focus all of my will to think only about music, and not anything else to give me away.

The gas station attendant had trouble running my credit card to pay for the dog food, and was obviously nervous about those who had just come in. He was so nervous he just let me have the dog food so that I could get out of there. I quickly left the store and found my friend, she was worried I had been caught. I told her I was fine and that we needed to all get on the next city bus to get away.

I woke up.

So, last night I had this dream where my brother and I, for some reason, were sent to this island for “punishment” for a crime, or something. This island was no ordinary prison. In fact, they don’t advertise it as a prison so that it wouldn't get shut down. This island would brain wash you into believing that this island was all there is, and that you needed to stay on this island for the rest of your life. You would be provided for, the basics, food, water, and shelter, but you had to work for them. You literally had to pledge your life to maintaining the island and for a reward you would get better facilities. But this was another form of brainwashing, keeping you obedient. You could NEVER leave, you would be shot upon attempt of escape, or worse, you would be captured and then put into the arena to fight for your life. You may face other inmates or traps to survive. You had no rights, and the authorities could do literally whatever they wanted to you. I was put into the arena a few times because I wanted to get me and my brother off the island. My brother was totally brainwashed and was content with staying there. At one point I remember being in the arena and realizing it was a dream. I think I said “bring it on, bitches”, and then had to battle a couple of bangle tigers, which wasn't hard being lucid. Oh, and Bree, you were there, but you gave me a box of used scarves to help me escape, though I have no fucking clue how that would help me…