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I find this one quite amusing. xD

04.01.2013

Welcome to Hell (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

A chute opens up in the ground, and I fall down into a pile of other people. We are in a rather small shower/bathroom area that might be found in a locker room. Satan appears and says we are in Hell. He tells us that we are assigned to two particular chores every day: an hour of cleaning a bathroom and three hours of tossing a baby up and down. The catch is that we are not given clocks, so we have to measure the time in our heads. If we go under our required time, we will be punished severely.

I don't believe that this is really Hell, so I walk off and decide not to listen to him. I am gone for a while (with a memory lapse). When I return, everyone is lined up, tossing their babies up and down, up and down. I think that this CAN'T be good for them.

I approach Satan and he asks me why I haven't done my chores. "I'm better than that." I tell him. He decides that I can help him collect some souls instead. He wraps me up in packaging paper and sends me down another chute. I land in someone's kitchen. ((I can somehow see through the paper, even though I'm wrapped from head to toe)). There is a man there, and his young daughter.

I burst from the packaging paper. This scares the man and gives him a heart attack, killing him. A chute opens up beneath both of us, and we end up back in Hell.

I get a sense of deja vu. I learn that my memory lapse from earlier was because Satan had already been using me to collect souls, and he erased my memory of the events.

Cows in the Flowers

I dreamed there was an island of flowers in my yard. Three cows were on the little garden area. There wasn't even room on the flower bed for them to turn around, but they stayed right there.

What is Spinning me in Bed?
I felt as though I was spinning by the feet in bed. I opened my eyes (in my dream) to see if I really was spinning. I seemed to be in my bed straight.

I closed my eyes again and paid attention to my body. I really started to spin. Not fast--I simply felt myself moving in a circle as though someone took my feet and was spinning me around.

I thought it was satan, my ex step-mother, or my Dad. All should have been dream signs, and opening my dream eyes should have been a hint that I was dreaming. Oh well.

Trying not to think about Satan (I don't believe in the devil iwl), I called out the name of my ex step-mother. I saw a silhouette of her, but there was a little light showing her dark skin color.

I called out to my Dad.

This is the third dream in the last few weeks where I kind of knew I was dreaming or that something was not real or not right.

Dream skip

I was at a party for a really rich guy. At first I was out doors. His property was huge. It felt like a college campus with grassy areas leading to a wall with a 2 foot drop, then a large walkway laid with brick.

I ended up going with a guy inside. I had a beer that tasted like pink ginger-ale. We went in a room looking for something. I set my beer down, and when we left, I realized I had left my beer in the room.

I went back to look for it and couldn't find it. I went to a back room and couldn't find it. I went back to a bathroom and looked around and finally found it.

I then asked the guy I was with if he wanted something. He said he wanted a quesa dilla with four pieces of something. I then had a small, home made tortilla in my hand with 4 pieces of cheese. I went into a back bathroom to put it together with onion or something. My friend D's wife was in the bedroom. I was hoping she would show me a little something. She never did.

Had this dream around the age of 5 or 6 I'm guessing, no later than seven.

I walk up steps to my family's double wide trailer (we actually lived in a 3 bedroom house. Friggin dreams), open up the screen door only because the main door was swung wide already, and Satan is sitting in the middle of the sofa next to my mom on his right while my father was in his chair. This Satan looked like a red man with horns and long talons on his fingertips, the typical Looney Toons version. Some other people were over for an apparent bible study session that I had just walked into the middle of, my mother the current one with said book in hands. All the other seats are taken, Satan makes a motion to sit next to him, my mom waits for me to sit down. As soon as I take my seat two things happen: 1. my mother continues with whatever passage she was reading before I walked in and 2. Satan began digging his index talon into the middle of my back, twisting it, turning it and making circles. I feel it like a nail, not sharp enough to break skin, just enough to push into the nerves. For an idea of the pain just take your thumb and dig as hard as you can into your back, using the rest of your hand for support, nail first. My immediate reaction is pushing my belly forward, trying to escape whatever was causing the pain. Doesn't work. I squirm, twist, writhe, the pain is there, constant, inescapable. This goes on while everyone else is completely oblivious to the situation, entranced as they were with the story my mom was reading.

S'bout all I can remember.

I was standing out of the door frame of a small-ish vehicle floating out in the middle of a lake. Two other people were with me, whom I didn't recognize but I knew they were my friends, one guy and one girl. I wasn't myself, for the most of the dream. I felt like a guy. My consciousness kept flickering back to myself, but for the most part I felt like I was a guy I know in real life named Shane.
The three of us were on a mission to meet someone - Satan. Images of magazine covers and internet articles flashed in my mind's eye with 'Satanism' and similar titles in big bold letters. I knew that the writers of those articles knew very little of their subject matter, that it was all just religious hype and media frenzy... but I knew. In fact I was on my way to meet the man right now.
I could see a small group of figures across the water, hovering above the surface, all in white tunics and slouchy pants pulled in at the ankles... like the style of clothing Indian men sometimes wear. He was among them, feigning unawareness of our approach. Suddenly my two partners had to use the bathroom. They didn't know whom we were approaching and thus weren't afraid, but they jumped out of the car and swam back to shore. I grit my teeth in disappointment that they had left me at the most inconvenient time. I couldn't fight Him alone, and he knew it, too. As soon as I took my eyes off of my friends' backs, I knew he was coming for me. Before I was all the way turned around to face him he was already hovering over the hood of my car - it was a blueish SUV, I think. My breath caught for a second... his grin and pitch-black eyes could freeze the blood, but... the rest of him...
He was bald and pale, with soft features, and the glowing white tunic only served to make him appear more harmless. He wasn't here to kill me. My male consciousness opened his mouth and began bad-mouthing the king of the underworld, causing me to mentally face-palm. As stupid as it was to use sarcasm against the man who was probably the inventor of hurtful language, I couldn't stop my alter-ego. Our opponent's grin turned sour at such disrespect; he and my alter-ego shared a heated conversation which I cannot recall, but then I knew it was time to stop this. His slight unamusement did not prevent his tunic from emitting an almost-blinding glow from the sunlight.
I ducked our body back into the car and began frantically shutting the doors and windows. It didn't help. I knew He could drown us in a second. He didn't though. Instead he forced the passenger-side window down without hardly a twitch of a muscle, and lowered himself to stare me in the eyes. My alter-ego broke loose with insults again, much to my displeasure. Lucifer's frown slowly turned upward and my heart began to thump against my chest. Suddenly the passenger side door (upon which I was leaning) flung open as Lucifer took a mid-air-step backwards. "Oops, your door is open," he chimed, in the most soothing, melodic male voice I have ever heard, and he floated away with a soft chuckle. Only then did the car begin to sink. I quickly crawled to the driver's side and opened the door. As I stood up to jump off, the water began to get wild and I could see my friends beginning to wade back to the car, too engulfed in conversation to notice the danger.
"Guys! Don't come any closer!" I called to them. They stopped, confused, as I jumped out and swam to them. I was surprised at how fast I could even though I usually can't swim at all. just as I had reached them and stood up to explain what had just happened, my male friend noticed our sinking car. He placed a rough hand on my head and dunked me under water again.
"THIS is for letting our car go to waste!" he growled at me as I struggles to get out of his grip. I was not afraid of drowning, but I became even more angry the longer he held me underwater. Finally he released me. I stood up and passed him to hide myself behind a building nearby on the beach.
Lucifer hadn't meant to kill me, though he could have in an instant, I reflected. But my friends had just deeply hurt me by not even giving me a chance to explain myself and blaming me after I had come so close to Death. I would just let them go back out to try to save the car, and let them face the same peril I had just escaped from. I would never speak to them again.

I was in hell, and I had a team of cooks with me. We were in the kitchen ("hell's kitchen" is a recurring theme for me) and all my cooks were busy. The place was pristine, everything was in its place, all surfaces were clean, all was well...

...until Satan came in. He was extremely upset. He had hooves and horns, but all features beyond his silhouette were indistinguishable: he seemed to be completely made of molten lava. He stormed through the kitchen with such blazing heat that the surfaces melted, and in his wrath he destroyed my cooks, one by one.

I stood near a counter, shocked and stunned. Such raw power, such extreme violence, such anger... and I was powerless to appease or defend. He took his time destroying the kitchen and my staff, and I had the feeling that I was an observer of the situation, until he stomped towards me, curses coming from his lava mouth. I laid down on the floor in complete submission and humility, because I felt any form of defiance would have been ludicrous. His crotch began to glow bright yellow, then white hot, and he urinated right over my prone form. The bright hot lava stream splashed near my body but I wasn't touched.

When he finished he stalked away, still hot, still glowing, still angry, still frighteningly powerful. I woke up with the lingering feelings of fear accompanied by an adrenaline rush and a small bit of relief. The rest of the dream faded in the face of this event.

A Satan Afterlife
7/22/2010


I was in some kind of shelter that had posters on the walls about choosing my afterlife. One read, "Live your afterlife through Satan and do whatever you want! Just $1 Everyday!" I went into some room to learn more about it. The person handed me a brochure for Satan's Afterlife and I really liked the cover art for it. I was going to read through the contract, but then I walked to the eating room. I sat down by a guy that looked like Alexander Skarsgard, but it wasn't him. The guy was a vampire, and he showed me his fangs. We have sex on the table.



Gender Change?
7/22/2010

(I looked like Jay Baruchel)

I don't understand this dream, but I'm not myself in it at all. First person view. I'm a guy, and I'm running around some kind of huge shopping/activity building. I guess a mall, though a very large one, that sells every-freakin-thing. I'm just running around, and this lady is running after me. She's saying things like, "Stop! Security get him!" Although I see no security guards anywhere. The mall looks very futuristic, quite weird. It's like it is made of glass, or plastic, or a shiny metal. I don't know. There are no doors or any shops that i could see, but then on the right I see a staircase that goes down. I make a U Turn (lol) and start running down the spiraling staircase. I could hear the foot steps of the lady following quickly behind me. As I watched for the steps, the size of them, and the patterns seemed to change. When I was finally done and on the next or maybe the bottom floor of the building, I was in a very large hallway, much like the one above, but this was the entrance to the theater. There was one arcade racing game there, and I jumped up and down in excitement. Then the lady reaches the guy/me (I'm still a totally different person?) The guy that isn't me/Me-IDONTKNOWlol starts to touch the lady, and I guess they have sex, but I don't know because the next I see is the guy is running through the grocery store part of the building, and the lady is following him. The guy grabs her ass and then runs out the door, and the cashier yells, "He just felt her up! Get him!" And then three guys run out after the guy/me/wtfidontknowlol And one of the three guys points a gun in my/the guy's face. I/The guy says "Please don't shoot me."

Yeah...