Doomsday is coming and we are about to rescue earth from a meteor by launching a rocket and explode the threat. We ready the rocket and launch, the rocket is going up but suddenly it turns of to the left and explodes on the surface. We go in a car and try to drive away from the location the meteor is going to crash. We drive by a lake as a big missile i penetrating the water and starts to spread a relatively slow explosion. I'm driving and see it closing in. I look back and scream "finally, I welcome you death". I feel a bit ashamed because my dad is sitting next to me. The fire closes in and eats me and I feel my body evaporating. We wait for the car to explode and suddenly it does. Notes: We watched a movie some weeks ago with very similar action. I'm in a big school and we have just played some kind of sport in the gym. I forgot my shoes and go back again. Gabriel is with me and we keep on walking. There is a door that is locked. Gabriel opens it with his key but I think to myself that it would be better for me to open the door so that he does not need to waste his keys. Mr Beast comes and congratulates me that I won 2 million kr. I am very happy and we are about to hug but then I think about corona and we stop halfway. I instead go on my knees and hug his very long legs. I ask him what he would have done if he got this money when he was in my age. He says: "I would probably have bought a bunch of CD-discs just so that I could make a tower or something as stupid." We laugh together. Notes: Our conversation was in swedish.
29th November 2020 Fragment: Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details. (recall gap) Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship. I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection. This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout. Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did. There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream. Notes: - This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try. - The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.
Morning of May 1, 2020. Friday. Dream #: 19,492-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec. My dream’s foundation is a result of imaginary somatosensory modulation, but atypical. (I often cup my hand around a vertical bar of the head of our bed for this.) Ordinarily, I summon an egg to increase a dream’s illusory sense of touch (other than in a later rendering of a dream’s timeline when it is more often coins), the reason being that an egg is a perfect size to focus on the area of my palm and the underside of my fingers when I cup my hand. This type of modulation is usually in an indoor setting. However, in this instance, there is a precursory vestibular perception that results in the common sky-watching scenario, though in this case, it is seemingly in the late morning rather than before dawn. Over time, I see a flying saucer high in the sky. Many other people are around in a mostly featureless field. I focus on creating small rockets to blow up any spaceships. The exponential increase in my dream’s illusory sense of touch stems from the middle of a small rocket first materializing in my cupped right hand. The top and bottom of the miniature missile telescope from each side, coming into existence with minimal effort in my summoning the feature. It is partially reminiscent of a toy plastic rocket I had as a boy that comes apart in sections. I mentally cause the missile to ignite and leave my hand to destroy a flying saucer. Even though it is less than a foot long, I have a close view of when it reaches the spacecraft (as if looking through a virtual telescope). I enjoy the explosion (as I usually do in this mode of dreaming). Over time, as more spaceships appear, I indulge in the same activity, several times, enjoying my pointless entertainment. I experiment with different visualizations and anticipation of the results. At one point, I send my rocket to a feature with the resemblance of a rocket booster (similar to the rectangular aft skirts in some science-fiction movies). From there, the rocket goes inside the middle of the spacecraft to blow it up. I ordinarily only end up doing things like this when I lose interest in sustaining sleep for longer, concerning creating a new dream scenario.
Morning of July 20, 2018. Friday. Reading time: 2 min 14 sec. Readability score: 66 (8th-grade education and above). In my dream, I am at the south end of the hall of the Cubitis house. The time is unknown. I am facing the doorway to the southwest bedroom. There is a plastic box of items to the left of the doorway. Another is near the middle of it. Although I cannot discern all of the contents, I see more than a dozen empty toilet paper rolls atop other items in the leftmost box. I vaguely recall that Zsuzsanna’s younger sister Judy lives in the room, but I do not see her at any time. (In reality, the bathroom was on the opposite side of the hallway as this room.) There is an absentminded transition to a more vivid setting. The implication is that I had walked north to the Cubitis house’s living room from the hallway, yet I am now in what seems like a simultaneous presence of the Loomis Street house’s living room and the lounge room of our present home. There is a recall that I had been making small rockets. It is likely that I might have used some of the empty toilet paper rolls in my project. I must have done it during what seems like a missing stage in my dream’s sequence. It now seems to be late evening. Mentally, from perhaps outside the house, I launch a small rocket as my experiment as I stand in the middle of the living room, facing the front door. I do not expect much to happen at first, but I begin to feel wary. I am aware of its trajectory in rising up and to the right. I am aware of it, though I do not see it. I hear a slight sizzling. I might have made the small rocket too powerful, as I had quickly put it together without any measurements. There are a few moments of silence when I consider what might occur. Suddenly, there is an extraordinarily loud explosion that vividly echoes from everywhere outside the house. It shakes the whole world. I wonder if I will have time to tell Zsuzsanna before our planet disintegrates. I wait for the light and consuming fire. Instead, I awake. Dream content and explanatory notes: The incorrect representation of our bedroom is a common dream feature occurring a few times through every sleep cycle, typically rendered in the beginning or end of a dream. It is usually only a subliminal factor of being in bed. As they are primarily composed of anticipatory and reactive representation, in subliminal, liminal, and lucid states, dreams neither have symbolism in the conventional sense nor are they a result of memory processing. As I was near a doorway into a bedroom, it implies a reactive representation of being near the waking process. The empty toilet paper rolls were a biological prompt, though my need to wake was not intense. The association with cylindrical forms, from the empty toilet paper rolls to launching the small rocket, was intriguingly unique. Typical temporal errors are present as is the integration error of the Loomis Street house with the Cubitis house (where I have not lived since June 1978). My dream simultaneously combines our lounge room with the Loomis Street house’s living room (where I have not been since February 1994). The representation of the cessation of my dream was more magnificent than usual.
Morning of July 15, 2018. Sunday. My dream’s setting is a fusion of the L-shaped room of the King Street mansion and the lounge room of our present home. I am sitting on my bed as it was on King Street and facing north towards the window. My youngest daughter is sitting on the floor. I have one of her plastic toys; Peppa Pig’s yellow spaceship. It is part of a big computerized game, though is only a trial model that requires an activation code before it can function. A bag on my right contains many similar toys. I think of activating all her toys so that they become the full versions by obtaining the codes from inside them without contacting the company. Looking through the window of Peppa Pig’s yellow spaceship, I see several lines of computer code printed on a paper strip that seems to be part of a scrolling mechanism that is at the back. There are lines printed on each side of the paper strip, but I am unable to see the print on its opposite side. One line ends with the value 9876543210. I doubt that this is the correct code, but I still attempt it. It does not work. There is another number with a random sequence of digits, but that one does not work either. The third code is hexadecimal, with “EE” in it, the rest being numbers. I try that one, and something happens. An oversized toy bird beak emerges from the window of the toy rocket, generating an odd chirping. As the codes are so easy to find and use, I consider activating all the other toys. Study guide: 1) What are the two main autosymbolic factors of this dream? 2) This dream has secondary autosymbolism based on ultradian rhythm. Identify it. 3) What does yellow represent here? 4) What is a factor that reveals the subliminal awareness of being in the dream state? 5) Is there a possible interconsciousness factor here? If so, what? Study guide answers: 1) Vestibular system correlation as flight-related autosymbolism (in two simultaneous forms, bird and rocket) and precursory thinking skills correlation as the need to read numbers and enter a code. 2) The cuckoo clock association. 3) Emergent consciousness factor, which is a result of increased awareness of the light spectrum. 4) I am sitting on my bed. 5) Transpersonal communication with our youngest daughter while in the dream state. Remember that dreams are in real time, not a result of memory processing as disinformation agents propagate. Readability score: 71. Correctness of writing: 100. Intellectual value: 76.
Morning of April 1, 2018. Sunday. I am uncertain of my dream’s location. Settings are always different even when modeled after real-life places I have lived, though there is a vague essence of the northeast area of the Cubitis living room (where I have not been since 1978). However, it also feels like a variation of our present address, seemingly the dining room, which we use as our bedroom, though in this case, it could be a subliminal infusion of where my physical body is in reality as I sleep. There is a website (name unknown) where I had a musical album stored for a month or two. I am listening with headphones. There is a large photograph of a rocket launch on the wall, which is implied to represent the cover art for the song (or possibly the whole album). It is to the right of my view. Additionally, there is another monitor, more to the center of my view, which displays the website’s main page. Although the rocket in the image looks realistic, much of the background appears somewhat like an oil painting, with uneven patches of darker and lighter blue. In contrast, the setup to listen to my music is on the opposite side of the monitors. I listen to the beginning of my song and hear only two sustained mid-range notes as the supposed introduction. Apparently, the website has a rating system for different songs, but this is only a vague thought. I am aware of a Giorgio Moroder influence on all the tracks (and yet I do not pick up on the dream state indicator of his song “Together in Electric Dreams”, a trait of my non-lucid dream self that suggests exclusive synaptic gating even when obvious dream state indicators are otherwise rendered). There is a time period where I watch a short movie that represents one of my songs, which seems based on some sort of odd science-fiction story about “howling”. A large spaceship (reminding me of the 1978 Battlestar Galactica in overall shape) with lots of satellite dishes on top is approaching another planet. There are satellite dishes everywhere on the planet. This is what the “howling” is related to, that is, the satellite dishes “howling” at each other, the backstory and reason unknown. Over time, the sound is not loud enough and sometimes drops out. I move the left side headphone connection somewhat, and the wire just falls out. This makes me very annoyed. I take off my headphones and notice an apparent previous attempt to fix the other side. There is a small mess of entangled and looped copper wire on the right side. I talk about throwing out my headphones, saying, “even though they cost a hundred dollars” (which is incorrect as they actually cost over four hundred dollars in reality). The headphones are related to the subliminal awareness of being unconscious and not fully discerning real-life environmental noises. The headphone wire coming out of the left side is precursory to hearing less illusory dream-rendered audio (as waking-oriented autosymbolism is usually directed to my dream self’s right if I am sleeping on my left side). The rocket launch image is typical autosymbolism for the emergence of my conscious self identity as the waking precursor as well as the energy of my real physical body, which the dream self is otherwise primarily unaware of in unconsciousness. (Virtually all vehicles in dreams; cars, boats, airplanes, rockets, and so on; subliminally represent the specific essence of the physical body and specific association with physical dynamics, each vehicle depending on the level of awareness in unconsciousness, and dreamers who pay any attention at all will easily realize this fact even without the level of disclosure I have in understanding auto-scripting and receiving hypnopompic disclosure. Ultimately, this is a no-brainer, as the word “vehicle” itself is used to mean the physical body.)
Updated 05-03-2018 at 07:18 PM by 1390
I am in Fussen, Germany. Duplicates of Neuschwanstein Castle surround me. Why is my dreaming self so stupid and not realise how ridiculous it was. I then take plane trips all around the world. Eventually, I am loaded onto a rocket and lauched to a crowded space station. I feel I have special piority for room, but no body pays attention. A vague dream about being bullied... Oh, I have stopped the bizarre 'rituals'. A 'voice' in my head says I have do certain things in waking life to have a lucid, and the results are a blank head when waking up. I did not listen to it, and my dreams are back.
Morning of June 2, 2016. Thursday. This dream, in the final segments, was the usual “coming down” waking metaphor which has occurred in the majority of my dreams (tens of thousands) and of course merely represents the biological waking mechanism. The setting for the most part seems to be, very atypically, the lunchroom and auditorium area of my middle school as well as the north section (which has rarely featured in my dreams even when I was going to school there). There is an unusual plot relating to finding an “ancient” technology related to space travel and a setup for launching a rocket (which actually appears of 1960s NASA design at one point though the new 2015 NASA logo appears at another point). However, it may also imply that I am in the distant future in some sort of science-fiction scenario. A group of people set up the launchpad on the stage with the “cannon” of this unusual device facing partly upwards but towards the audience area. I feel a bit strange seeing what these (unknown) people are doing. The whole setup looks like some sort of odd composite of wrongly arranged rocket launch features, parts of a bed (obvious dream sign) and a cannon. Three unclothed males (another dream sign) are inside this large device that takes up most of the stage. The front-most setup actually looks like a male wrapped up in a blanket and a mattress around him (again, a rather amusing and “overly” obvious dream sign although I reach not an iota of lucidity). The two other males are each protruding from the side as if representing wing function. I try to tell the authorities and spectators that this is not necessary and that the rocket will launch without risking the lives of the three men. No one really listens to me and the device is soon set off in a cannon-like event. The rocket rises into the sky without incident, getting higher and higher, and everyone seems cheerful and amazed. I watch and it seems somewhat “realistic”. Soon though, the rocket does not have the required escape velocity - which is equivalent to the square root of 2GM divided by r, though this concept is intriguingly skewed in my dream. Instead, in fact, the rocket crashes into the invisible seemingly solid dome-like interior of the Earth’s atmosphere, which does not seem that high (in comparison to where the first change of the layer would be). People are startled and it reminds me much of the Challenger space shuttle disaster, with trails of smoke arcing out and down. After this, the scenario changes slightly. It almost seems as if I am now at a nude beach though where most are half-dressed (distorted dream sign), though still implied to be the same overall setting. At one point some schoolmates and I (all fully dressed) find the front of the skull of one of the would-be astronauts on the sidewalk near the north entrance. However, I then see it is a “Stars Wars” stormtrooper mask but still try to determine if it is actual human remains. I also very briefly and very vaguely get an eerie reference to Howard the Duck’s face (flight symbol) - not the utterly awful movie rendering, but the original Marvel art. Soon, I go up to a row of three robotic but skeletal figures which are arranged on a slightly elevated platform and that apparently represent the remains of the would-be astronauts - though it may also be that they will be using these figures on another launch attempt. Looking at one figure for reference, I fit the “skull front” onto a figure that does not yet have it. The “mask” fits onto a feature where the implied eyes on the “robot” come out on stalks and it is almost like a snap-together model at this point and it easily fits on with four connections (eyes, nose, and mouth extensions on the stage feature). One boy tells me that this is not correct and I firmly tell him that it is the same as the other (which it is). From here, I notice Zsuzsanna in the crowd, half-dressed. I decide to become intimate with her even though there is a very dense crowd at this point, and slowly wake from here. Although a stage represents the dream state and its nature I am inclined here to reflect that it probably also is a play on “waking stage” since this is the setting from where the “coming down” metaphor is utilized. The “unreal” nature of the “remains” is the typical preconscious transition as in countless similar dreams. A rocket represents rising in dream state awareness, which “fails” when the waking state reaches past the halfway mark (or the event horizon of the waking threshold). I have experienced this in thousands of various (but similar) ways since earliest childhood. The first dream sign in this one was about as obvious as possible to the point of being hilarious (yet I still did not catch it within my dream), that is, being launched by a device with bed-like features including three rolled-up mattresses.
With pals we took a rocket and flewn to a distant planet. We had to wear protective suits as the air was filled with toxic gasses. We went out and moved up a hill, and then we saw enemies - huge, muscular humanoids in the distance. I took out a rifle and started shooting to them. At first I couldn't land a hit, but then I shot one of them, presumably their leader as when it died, others took his body and escaped. We had to go back to rocket, to refill our air tanks.
I was in my frontyard, launching a rocket to fly away and explore other planets. I was flying with speed of the light, avoiding many asteroids on my way, until I crashed at the moon. I immediately started to collect parts and repair my rocket, and then I flewn away. Next I landed on a balloon planet - there was no earth, rocks or anything. Just a pink, elastic membrane surrounding empty space. I walked on it for a while, and tried to plant some plants in flower pots, but then the membrane have broken, and I was falling into the outerspace. As I was falling, I noticed that I'm going to land on earth. Flying past planets of the solar system, I have finally reached Earth and landed in a dumpster near a restaurant. I got out of the dumpster, entered restaurant, and then someone gave me a platter with coffee cups and told me to bring it to politicians in one of the rooms.
I was watching a rocket starting, and flying hight into the outerspace. Then my sight followed the rocket and I was watching the solar system, planets and tiniest atoms in there. All of this while listening to someone talking about Pluto, who discovered it and why it's not fully classified as planet. Then I was lying in my bed, looking at the sky and thinking that I should get there one day.
Base jump I entered a rocket that was standing on the frontyard of my house. I took a wingsuit, and suddenly TV appeared. Crowds gathered in safe zones all around, and after a countdown, the rocket started. I watched through the window as everything got more and more distant. Suddenly the rocket stopped. I opened the door, and watched in awe the whole earth. Then I took a few steps forward and started falling down. I felt all the forces working and I felt a heavy weight on my body. I was falling quicker and quicker. When I was just about to land, I woke up. Trolls I was climbing down the mountains and walking down the hill path. On the way, a huge brown lizard walked the way. I told something to him in a weird language, but this angered him. I said in "Sorry." in his lizardish language. Suddenly I saw an old, ruined city in the valley. It was inhabitet by humans, but most of them wanted to go away from these dangerous surroundings. I looked around and saw a cavern. I wanted to see what's inside, and when I got closer, horde of trolls went out of it. They had gray-green skin, long tusks and fat bellies. Before I reacted, one of them took a huge club and striked me in the head. I died, and saw my body from the air. I entered a menu and used load button. I appeared in the city again. I ran towards the cavern, and when the trolls appeared I started to jump. With one huge jump, I landed on a two storey building. Dungeon crawler sense appeared. I felt a strange urge to see what's in the basement of the building. I resisted, and jumped away. I saw a river in the distance. I followed it, still chased by trolls. Suddenly, a cavern appeared in the distance, and a horde of wolves appeared. I almost got shred to pieces by trolls and wolves. I jumped away to that two storey building. I looked around and saw that the enemies have appeared behind me. I jumped again. I flewn through the whole village, and landed in front of my house. Entering it, I found myself in a hotel. I walked the corridor and heard someone calling me. A group of three women - brunette twins and two guys - one blonde and another one brunette. They wanted me to join them in an orgy. I accepted, and we all started.
Thu, 21 May 2015: 1st feel transitioned to dream but float to confirm. Slow! Yes. Darkish. Wife gets out of bed and goes to toilet. I wonder if she did in waking and go in front of toilet and dance around to see if I get a reaction. Not really but she looks up and either she has no face or it is blurred and hard to make out. Shortly after back in bed needing to turn over. Later after a WBTB, I get comfortable. I feel I have transitioned again but when I make a small move to get out of bed it feels like I risk moving my waking body and waking up. I try to float again but nothing and then I mentally push my whole body towards the right front corner of my bad and my dream by jumps up on to the corner of the bed! I walk out of the room this time and out to the loft and I think about my day time visualization: floating up and then over the loft and I do. I float down to the landing or ledge where we could display items but we don't. From there I float down to the floor. I get some audio of my son asking me what I'm doing but I know it's just from the dream I head to front door and I walk out. Before I walk out I can hear what sounds like a crowd of people outside and I like that I will be able to walk through the crowd and pick out some beautiful DC's! as I walk out there is a crowd and I find one girl. Spoiler for sexual content: Stick it in her mouth and then I think how I wanted and planned to go about things like this more consensually. I cross the street and there are 3 women wearing choir robes like you might see in church. I think about the church connection but continue over there with my dirty intentions. I look at them with the look that I know they all want a piece of me and one by one they go to work Spoiler for sexual content: on my ahem. They make it grow larger and larger with the skillful pleasuring using their mouths and tongues and one of them comments how big it is getting. this goes on for several minutes and at one point I notice that one of the women has a vagina on her lower stomach. odd but not freaky, as I reflect how I am fully aware that this is all my dream. I talk about how one of them needs to get on and take a ride and there's a little girl nearby that approaches and starts crying. I decided I had enough and switched to consoling her. I no longer felt like I was naked but neither did I put on any clothes or really consider this. I tried to commit to memory what she was saying as she was crying but that part is gone. She hugs me back as she cries. I walked back to the other side of the street and there was another woman crying a little more gently, whereas the girl was more sobbing. I was going through the dream details in my head to better commit them to memory when I felt what was a false awakening but I wasn't sure at first. I was back in my bed and my wife was playfully touching my arm but then started tickling me under my arm and I kind of moan like she is going to wake me up but I tried to feel if I was still asleep and decided that indeed I was. I did an in dream wild again (like earlier in the month) closing my dream eyes until a new scene forms through my closed dream eyes or maybe I open them up gently but either way I was in a long room not very wide but plenty of space. There were a number of pieces of equipment to the end of the room in front of me and this pilot or astronaut in a suit like a pressure suit and there was a small one man rocket or flight craft that was warming up its' engines and pointing towards the ceiling though there wasn't really a ceiling or a sky but mind you this all felt very indoors. he gets down from the rocket contraption having started the warm up process and is talking to me and something in my head makes me wonder what they wear under that suit and he hears my thoughts and unzips his outfit and shows me that he is naked underneath. I see his penis and everything. he's zips it back up and continues to prepare. I look back towards the part of the room I was in before that was basically behind me when I was facing the astronaut guy and my son is sitting and doing his studies and back towards where the astronaut was there is now a TV and something risque is on TV. it seems to be some r-rated version of MTV where some chunky lady is walking around without a top on. I start to lose a little lucidity here as I wonder if we should change the channel but after a bit I realized it doesn't matter regaining some lucidity. I start thinking about how it seems like the scene is going on for a long time and I start thinking about my goals. I jump to memory peg number 5 and after a bit of a scene fade I find myself standing over my wife who is sitting in a chair in our dining room. number 5 is the smell task of the month and I remember how I smelled her hair earlier in the day freshly washed with a nice scent to it and the dream seems to replicate the scent but it was a little more faint almost as if the dream accounted for the time that has passed since the fresh washing of the hair. I then think about how I reset memory peg number 2 back to the lucid dare to become a tree and I start stretching out my arms like the branches of the tree and my feet down like the roots and I get the sensation of my torso and arms growing and expanding upwards but I'm not too sure how much of a tree I became with no mirror around. I then thought of memory peg number 6 and this is the talking to the monster under your bed for task of the month. I decide that there is a bed just ahead and I walk that way but I don't see one and the dream is fading a bit and I decide that I will just arrive back in bed, my dream bed and then I can get out of bed and talk to the monster from there but it doesn't work and I soon find myself back in my actual bed needing to urinate but I stay still and try to reenter the dream but eventually realize I am too wake and need to relieve myself before trying anything else. when I go back to bed I do get a lot of great visualisations that seem to take legs which like in my previous LD aftermath several days ago I wondered if I might be in a dream state with the amount of effect I have over what seems like HH's. very long lucid series! 8 milligrams of G + 500 milligrams of choline. #326 & 327
Some years ago, when he was still very young, Bolt entered a rocket contest. Not long after launch, one of the engines failed causing the ship to fall from the sky, but the emergency parachute deployed at the last minute, saving his life. In the rocket with him at the time was a romantic interest of his, who was badly injured, and the man who designed the rocket, Bolt’s good friend Heinrich. Heinrich, unfortunately, perished in the accident. After the incident, Bolt went underground for a while. A few years later, we’re hanging out at his mansion by the ocean: We sit outside, Bolt and I lying on our bellies side by side in the long, manicured grass of his back lawn. Sitting criss-cross next to us is his little sister and one of Bolt’s friends. Bolt is young, yet, maybe 24, his disasterly rocket failing having occurred when he was not but 19. He’s always been a genius for rockets. His sister is younger yet, 14 or so. His friend also a bit younger, 19 or 20. Sitting in front of the four of us is Bolt and his sister’s private tutor. Tutor is trying unsuccessfully to give a lecture to the 4 of us. Bolt’s friend and little sister are dutifully paying attention, but Bolt and I keep getting distracted and giggling. At one point we even run off for about a half hour so he can fly me around in one of his smaller rockets. It’s an absolute blast. Pun completely intentional. Coming back from our rocket foray, Bolt and I are giddy with laughter and adrenaline. “That was crazy! I can’t believe you get paid to do that!” I say, panting from the exhilaration. “Yeah, a butt ton too.” He says, still laughing. “What do you do with all that money? You get paid—what—a million or so every time you go up in a rocket?” “1.7 million, actually. And I honestly don’t know what to do with it all so I give most of it away to charities.” He says, shrugging as we settle back down before the Tutor. Tutor snorts, “You don’t donate most of your money, you invest it.” Bolt rolls his eyes, “fine, I do invest it, but a lot of those investments are into trust funds for charities. By the way, how are the investments doing?” “All doing very well. You’ll be significantly richer before the day is out.” Bolt nods, obviously pleased by this. “Now,” says Tutor, “back to the lesson.” The four of us nod and he continues talking, but I’m completely lost to Bolt, Beautiful Bolt. In the warm breeze his silken blond locks slip softly across his forehead. His strong jaw and supple skin beg to be caressed. His brown eyes are kind, and his body slim and shaped as though he were Adonis himself. I interrupt the tutor. “Bolt, what’s your ideal kind of gal?” He pauses to think a moment. “Hmm, I can’t say I have an ideal. I just want to find a girl who sees me for who I am. A girl who knows me and loves me anyway. A girl whom I could love and be happy with.” I smile. “I could love you, Bolt. Could you love me?” He looks at me then. Really looks at me. Then he smiles too. “Yeah, Ambrielle, I could love you.” “I want to marry you.” I say, breathless at the thought that this beautiful, wonderful man might actually be mine. “I would like that,” He says, still smiling. “I would like that very much.” I’m totally overjoyed. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Bolt, the handsome, rich, kind, loving Bolt wants to marry me. Me! “…Someday.” He says. “What?” I say, not really sure I heard him right. “I would like to marry you someday. But not yet. Right now I have a craving for something, so I think we should wait a while to get married. …You know,” He adds, almost as an afterthought, “if I were to give you a piece of advice it would be to become Mormon.” I think my eyes are going to fall out of my head they’ve gone so wide. “What?” “Yeah, I mean, Mormons have it figured out. They’re such nice people and girls should protect their virtue. That’s really important. It’s not right for a girl to have sex with a lot of different guys. She should just be with the one she loves.” I honestly can’t believe what’s coming out of his mouth right now. Here, all this time, I thought he was the perfect man for me. And yet, it seems he has a craving for virgins. Well, there’s nothing I can do about that now. My virginity is long gone and I’m not planning to convert anytime soon. I could become a born again virgin, but somehow I get the feeling that’s not good enough for him. Standing abruptly, I walk away from him. There’s no reason for me to ever come back to this place, come back to Bolt. He’s no different than any other, shallow man. Making my way inside the mansion, I find myself in a huge, bustling building. I guess I hadn’t realized how popular Bolt really was. As I step into the middle of the four story glass structure and peer up to the balconies of the stories above, all also packed with young adults, it hits me just how famous Bolt might be. I sense a presence behind me and turn to find Bolt’s friend standing there, looking sheepish. “If you like, I can show you where to get a really good drink in here.” He keeps his eyes low as he talks to me, and fidgets with his hands. I get the feeling he’s used to being over looked in the shadow of Bolt. “I don’t have any money,” I say. “Don’t worry,” he says, “it’s free.” He looks up at me then and it’s as though I’m seeing him for the first time. His shaggy, black hair shines brilliantly under the florescent lights. His eyes are the clearest blue I’ve ever seen. He’s not much taller than I am, maybe 5’10 or 6 foot. Not like Bolt who’s a towering 6’5. And he wears glasses, slim ones, but as I notice this he takes them off and slips them into his pocket. Reading glasses, evidently. Cute. I smile and nod my head, “I would like that then, please, lead the way.” His eyes meet mine and he smiles genuinely, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do before. My heart skips a beat. Sometime later Bolt announces his return from retirement and enters another rocket contest. He wants to fly Heinrich’s rocket again, convinced they’ve been able to fix it since the accident. On the day of the competition, the rocket fails again, and this time when the rocket falls from the sky the parachute doesn’t deploy. Of the 50 or so people who went up with him, most of them are dead and the rest are significantly injured. Again, Bolt is the only one to make it out alive and unharmed. His competitor in the challenge turns out to be the girl he almost killed in the last rocket crash, his old romantic interest. She’s risen in the ranks to seek vengeance. In the end, I wake up before I get to see her fly. But I have a feeling she would have won.
Afternoon of March 1, 2015. Sunday. I am seemingly a part of a residual memory of a scene from the “Time Tunnel” episode “One Way to the Moon” except that it is “actually” happening now and is not part of a television show. I am not directly involved in the environment though; more like maintaining a disembodied (but three-dimensional) perspective just outside of the rocket and moving along at about the same speed with it in outer space. When the patch is needed, it is in the area where the astronauts are rather than the storage compartment (as in the actual second episode of “Time Tunnel”). A piece of a latch hook canvas is somehow manipulated to cover the hole, which is of course ridiculous since it is only a screen rather than a solid piece. The extra area of the latch hook canvas is then somehow folded over to build a second layer over the hole, which of course, is still pointless. The latch hook canvas piece moves about on its own on the outside of the rocket and is not handled by anyone. Nothing else happens and there is no major concern about the assumed lack of oxygen in the rocket now.
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