All DJ Entries

4th March 2021

Scraps:

T needed a bug killer or repellent? Asks me for guidance on soldering and installing a micro noise generator PCB.

Something Dark Souls-esque. I remember interact with a user interface menu, mostly having a look?

6th March 2021

Dream:

After some sequence about trucks and driving and a very vast area in some kind of half-real/half-game world, exploring a map or level? Me and H are arriving at the building door for my old apartment building. There's a man in the lobby and I don't feel like going in? A car drives past, going up on the curb. It sounds like dad's car and is the same colour so I tell H to look. But then I realise it's not dad and his car because it's actually a Toyota (though in the dream I mistake it for a Mitsubishi, a mistake I commonly make in waking life, but for some reason realised instantly to be wrong as I wrote the recall).

The car makes laps around the cul-de-sac. I remark that it must simply be using the same engine. At this point it feels like just before sunset. The shadows' directions in the dream would be agreeable to this.

Then me and H are going around a mix of my old home town/L. We're checking off things from a checklist on my phone. It's night time and the area we're in is a busy part of the city. There seem to be festive decorations of some kind.

I have some subconscious awareness of Covid but nobody is wearing masks, including myself. The next thing on the list is that we have to visit a chapel. I want to loop up the nearest one on my phone but I have a feeling there's one nearby, maybe an in-dream memory of one.

We walk towards a riverside/quay area and H leads. As I try to look it up on the phone we gain some distance from each other but I also feel awkward looking things up on my phone, I feel embarrassed of someone looking for some reason.

(recall gap)

We are inside a chapel, it's really small and cramped. The ceiling isn't much higher than head level. There's a small altar with some stained glass behind it, making it evident that it is now day time, though I don't realise this change in the dream itself.

I have an in-dream memory or something of talking to mom about this chapel and we discuss(?) something about the chapel being more valuable not for its physical worth but because of how it brings people together. Something then happens and there are a lot of people in the church now, getting into all the pews and some communal discussion is had?

1/9/20

I am at my great grandmother's home in Atlanta. B currently lives there and has kind of fixed it up though the outside of the house is grown over with vines and greenery. The house is a single story in the front but two stories in the back, like the basement is built into a hill. She has her living space in the basement and I see her purple bed in a corner. G is with me as we kind of tour around the house. We wander around the house with B. I talk with B about the history of the home and how long it has been in my family. I show her the room upstairs where my great grandma and her sister slept in beds side by side for many years. There's a large floor grate at the doorway that I remember hurt my feet to walk on as a kid, only now it has expanded down both walls of the room like a big L. There are small flames that come out of the grate, I gather it is the malfunctioning heater that hasn't been serviced in years. She almost catches the bottom of her flowy dress on fire because she trips on the grate but gets up quickly enough, no harm done.

I am with G now downstairs in Bs room sitting on her bed. We are watching a program on television, it is like a home renovation show that is featuring the same house we are actually currently in, B is on the tv. They take axes to large twisted bundles of vines that have grown into the house through a window in her room. One of the guys is hitting a wooden doorway with a hand axe and I gather his intent is malicious. B comes downstairs and tells us the rest of the story while we watch the show. We decide to go out to get something to eat before leaving town.


We are standing in line inside a large food court type area that is actually a single restaurant. It feels like a gourmet rallys of sorts. The building is diamond shaped, bright white decor with scattered black tiles, tall ceilings, with counters to order at on each side corner and tables all around in the middle. There seems to be a large column/pillar in the exact center of the room. I stand looking at the menu for a while trying to decide what to eat. We debate where we want to eat while standing in line. I mention I would really like to eat at the Dwarf House (the first Chick-fil-A). Perhaps we will get a snack here first then go somewhere else. The girls have ordered and gone to find a table. I stand for a couple minutes at the front of the line trying to decide, there are people lining up behind me while I scan the menu. It is hard to read and I am barely able to make out the pictures, though I know generally what they have. I apologise to the guy working the register that it took me so long, saying "Now don't be mad at me it took me all that time to decide, but I just want a large fry well done and two soda waters with lime."

He is understanding and asks for my name. I speak it to him but then he motions to a keypad in front of the register I am meant to type my name into. I try typing Noah, but it ends up like Gerold6 on the screen, I shrug whatever and submit it. As I am walking away I gather the workers are allowed to heckle the guests, it's like this restaurants brand, they were joking a lot before and now that I've made a gaff they turn the focus on me. They make an announcement on the loudspeaker that Gerald doesn't have the number six in the name and he proceeds to write it on a whiteboard, while laughing saying people can't have the number six in their name. I shout back jokingly "You don't know that!" The workers all laugh at my response and walk away from their registers holding their faces. I walk over to the girls and B has become S, I am completely enamoured to see her again.

We catch up and I am really glad to see she is doing so well. She seems lively and much more energetic than the last time I saw her. She's even showing interest in me so I'm somewhat besides myself. The girls have gotten their food a while ago and are just picking at their trays and I start to wonder where mine is, it has to have been 20-30 min by now. I see fries fully cooked sitting behind the counter on the metal tray and no one standing around. Then a guy walks out from the back, stands there for a minute or so and then surprisingly notices a ticket printed on a printer under the counter. He reads it, tears it off, proceeds to make my fry and prepare the drinks and walk it out to me. I am grateful if not slightly annoyed by there being so many employees standing around and none of them seem to be too focused.

At a certain point I begin speaking to an employee who I believe is on break. We talk about the type of restaurant this is and how it's set up/how it is to work there and make fun of people all day. He has social conundrums with some fellow female employees so I give him some social advice on how to work it out. The girls go to the bathroom together when we finish our meals. So I decide to walk outside to take in the views.

For some reason I am now in a corporate office lobby with open windows on one side leading to the water. My father and uncle are there, we all seem to be fixated on screens or the windows, I can't be sure. My uncle is leaning on dad's shoulder while they stand together. A worker for the office has spilled his soda on the floor of his desk, he gets up and walks away. He returns to his desk with a fresh cup of pop and takes a picture of it with his cellphone before sitting back down without cleaning up the last spill. This guy kinda looks like Ben Schwartz.


We are all standing along the water now outside. I am still waiting for the girls to come back but I notice there are boats going by to tour the local park. I am on a boat now, thinking it will be a quick excursion before returning. It is a boat car type vehicle and we travel through a park with many coloured birds on the ground and in the trees, they are all smaller like sparrows though coloured like the rainbow. The driver keeps driving and I gather we are going much further than the park. I text G "I think I've made a huge mistake" The boat makes water and we continue down into a river. Everytime I shift my weight the boat sloshes to the side and some water splashes in. The main guy driving asks me how old I am. I tell him and he says I am too big and I need to sit still while we are in motion. I now realize I am too close to other people I don't know and fumble to put on my mask. I pull it out of my pocket and there are many masks all stacked on themselves and it is difficult to separate the one I want to wear. The driver describes the river we are going down. It is like the florida keys for georgia, he points to a map and there is a huge crack waterway through the entire state of georgia. I am far away from where I started with strangers now. The dream ends.

I'm walking in a forest with my family. Grandma E is also there. My mom holds a baby that I have never seen before. Mom walks in front of me and she starts to walk on a rusty iron floor that is elevated with some rusty iron rods, about 2 meters above the ground is a river we walk over. As I follow her on the iron floor she puts the baby on the elevated floor. We walk past the baby and leave it there. As we keep on walking the floor and rods start to wobble as we walk. I think about how we may crash down with this construction. I think about the baby and how it could be hurt. Mom is walking in a very clumpsy way so that the construction starts to wobble even more. I try to counter he wobbling with my own weight and balance. She says that I am doing a good job balancing the construction. The construction falls and I think about the baby. I'm by the river and lift the baby up from the water. It isn't sad even though it just dropped from a big fall. Recall gap. I'm holding the baby and washing it. I was able to wash it better than mom. Recall gap or new dream. I'm in a car with Gustav in the back seats. I have a hair spray and use it on my hair.

Notes: Haven't thought about grandma in a long time. The theme of saving children/babies once more shows up. Mom is sick now and is wobbling forward on her life. Maybe I can help mom balance her life so she doesn't fall? What would the baby symbolize then? Something that mom drops that I can save and wash clean? Yesterday my brother saw I movie. I watched some of it and there was a scene where a boy used hair spray

I am walking outside somewhere, I think with Dad and one other around my age. The landscape is of a desert, but not really the Nevada desert (maybe more like Arizona). We come upon the start of a small creek, literally the spot where it is coming up through the ground. It then increases in size until within only a few yards it’s become turgid. In the places where the water is still, I notice how it is a bright, opaque turquoise. It is very striking on the brown and sparse green. We follow this river until it leads to an opening in a slight hillside. The opening then becomes a natural tunnel, maybe 20 feet across and 20 feet high. The river has carved its spot along the bottom and we walk a few feet higher than it, along a path set into the left hand side. As I walk, I push some of the soil down on the right side of the path, as it feels unsturdy. We now begin to think that this’ll lead to Mexico, which makes us think this is a drug smuggling tunnel, which causes us to turn around and leave with some vigor and fear, lest we get caught here.




I am in the bathroom of some public place (or maybe a private place, but where others would be using this bathroom). The room is plain and white. Lifting the toilet lid, I see someone hasn’t flushed. I do so and am revolted when the feces refuses to move, let alone flush. The single piece is impossibly large, probably almost a foot long and a few inches high. I am again revolted when I remember that it’s mine. I prod it with an object but it will not break apart.




I am outside with some unfamiliar boy about my age or younger. I think that he looks Asian, but he tells me he’s an exchange student from Ethiopia. The landscape is desert and we’re outside of an empty looking storefront that seems to be the only thing around. He makes a comment about the heat, either that it’s a lot more or less than Ethiopia.
*I think this might’ve been before the first dream/he was the other person in it.

I am outside of some house, I think with Makayla. This house seems somewhat large and removed from everything else. We’re on the bank of a small, slow flowing river that reflects the sky and surrounding foliage. We notice what looks like the top of the head of a crocodile slowly drifting from one side to the other. I think Makayla wants to call someone about it. Now, we see that it is just the head, like it’s a fossil or something. I look at the reflections and think about coming out here to swim during sunrise. I go inside now - I think I’m staying here for some period of time. I go into a bathroom that seems to be one of the first rooms in here. I sit on the toilet - the only thing in here - and notice that the room is bigger than most bedrooms. The floor seems to be a light blue linoleum, and it stretches horizontally in relation to the toilet. There are three doors, to my left and right and behind me; all are open. I notice Melissa through the left one. She is sitting and slowly drops her bra strap to show me her boob. She then crawls over, naked, and I think tells me sexual things. I am naked too.

Thursday Night, 11/7/19

I was hiking through a forest and I came out into an open field, accidentally spawning a large bear as I did so. I had to run away from it using video game controls. It morphed from bear, to wolf, to lion, to jaguar and long story short I couldn't increase the distance between me and it no matter what tactics I used.

Gradually the environment shifted from video game to realistic until I was running in my own body rather than using controls. Knowing I stood no chance remaining in the open field, I dove into the deep river to my left and swam across. I pulled myself out onto the opposite river bank and found myself back among the trees. But of course jaguars are excellent swimmers so the big cat followed me easily. As it came out of the water the jaguar transformed into a woman. She was beautiful and lithe, dressed in flowing white, with the cold expression of a seasoned killer. We came out onto a wide and empty paved road that cut through the trees. I walked backwards and shot invisible arrows at her which made her health bar go down - a remaining feature from the video game - but she was otherwise unfazed. She was slowly walking toward me holding an already bloodied sword which she didn't even bother to raise. She said, "It's always hard to kill something for the first time." Clearly she was not referring to herself. She seemed to be implying that any reluctance to kill on my part would give her the advantage.



We both stopped walking and she informed me flatly that I was out of arrows. Her health bar was only at half. I knew I would have to use my sword and hack away for my life. I wasn't very skilled with a sword. That is to say I'd never used one before. As the jaguar woman raised her own sword it was immediately clear she was in her element. My alarm went off, yanking me out of there and into a waking state.

I am sitting around a table with Kreg, opposite me, and about eight or so other students. One guy goes first and hardly says anything about his project (I see a fairly simple but not bad looking rectangular model). The group reaction seems very neutral, as there wasn’t much to comment on. I am then volunteered to go next. I tell then I’m doing a beach or riverside area. I say I guess it’s not actually much of a beach, but just a riverside area. I’m imagining a decent sized river slowly flowing through a fairly forested area. I show the group an early model for a chair that is completely geometric, with a large back and a triangular seat. I then show a revised version that is simpler and closer to a traditional chair form. Johnny humorously asks if I actually like the first chair. I say yes and that I like cubism. He chuckles and it looks like he’s going to pull something up on his phone to show me. I now notice a pint sized stein half full of light colored beer on a coaster amidst my stuff. I think others notice it too, and I become embarrassed yet still start drinking out of it after I’m done presenting.

Dreams from March 10th and 11th (today).

---

10th:

Dream Sequence:

The last dream sequence started out with me playing a female gnome on WoW. Though I had rogue abilities my character's portrait indicated "level 49 warlock" when moused over. The character had a pointy dark purple hat and matching dress.

I used my stealth ability because I was in some distorted version of Tirisfal, mixed with Ashenvale, making me feel an imminent danger of being attacked by other players. I could see trolls riding around on raptors, a few level 60s but otherwise mostly around my own level. I was afraid that this approaching 60 hunter might spot me or become aware of me long enough to then start attacking but somehow, despite the level discrepancy, that didn't happen and I was able to get past him, down a natural slope with a path; as I did this the hunter was entering a dungeon with an entrance like Stratholme's service gate (the back entrance).

Then I saw other horde members, mostly between levels 17 and 29.

There was a river (more like Ashenvale this part), and this low level female orc warlock was swimming in the river, doing some quests by the looks of it. I realised I had a quest here too, to grab some dried up flowers floating in the water. I forget the item names now. Five items of one type, one of another, and some extra item that I already had on me anyway according to the quest log. While writing the initial note for this, my mind sort of suggested that the elf music from Ashenvale was playing, but I don't really remember that in the dream in itself. Probably the effect of a strong associative relationship between the dream's construct and the real memory archetype.

I got out of the water on the other bankside after collecting these items and I made the quest show me where to go. It started to display dashed paths on the parchment style user-interface map that the game has.

The paths it displayed were leading me through another quest first; there was this big, half hewn tree stump, here on this side of the river and inside it there were three sections where I had to speak to some kind of spirits? Doing this would activate something, and then when I was on the way to speak to the third one, I passed by an open area with bright light on it, not inside the tree stump area, but I had to go this way to go around to the third spirit.

In this brightly lit and grassy area, was a massive wooden frame, around a screen of sorts. An image appeared, symbols showing in sequence, once. First, a slightly rounded triangle, then a super simplified four-legged animal? And then, two other more complex symbols I can't describe or remember accurately.

After the symbols, a blonde girl, aged no more than ten or so I'd say, appeared on the screen. She was smiling and spoke to me directly, thanking me for finding her. She asked me a question, about myself, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember an interface popped up with some choices, three primary choices and an extra choice;

- "A sailorial heart."
- (I can't remember the second option.)
- "(Full control.)" :: This was the 'extra' option.
- "Full naval!"

For whatever reason, I felt that none were true to me at that time, except "full control", but I wasn't sure what it meant either.

Then, I could see my character from the girl's perspective; the character was giving the answer, but wasn't a female gnome anymore, but some sort of mix between Wolverine and something more feral.

I woke up soon after this.


11th:

Dream Fragment:

Diablo II. Playing a sorceress, or druid? Playing with H? Remember using the glacial spike spell.

Dream Fragment (part of a sequence continued in the next fragment):

Someone being racist about some fictional game races. Me and some girl investigate rumours and who it could be. We were part of some class on a tour or whatever. Susie from Miss Maizel was our teacher apparently. The girl with me accused Susie of being the racist. I defended her, saying Susie just thinks everyone is equally an ass. In the dream, I remember a dream memory about her giving food and being charitable, and I retell this to the girl.

Something happens, not sure what.

Near the end of my dream, I am aware that I had been wearing shorts; now I was changing into my camo shorts but they have a rip or hole on the front of the right leg, which I didn't realise until putting them on. But I want to change back to the previous ones and then I can't or something.

Dream Fragment (somehow related to previous):

Getting on some kind of cruise boat with H. We were the last two to get on board, even though many more people were still waiting and queued.

H carried on through some corridor. Everything was nicely carpeted and felt cozy I suppose. But then before I followed through, this girl appeared from the same corridor and she was saying she wanted to give up her place on the cruise to someone else, but a crew member (like a flight attendant but not?) stopped her. Apparently the girl was a windows svchost.exe process. I seemed to have some sort of meta-physical view of the dream reality but remember too little.

Then I remember being in our private quarters with H, unpacking or settling in. In the quarters there was some weird dedicated 8 volt and 19 volt power supply, apparently meant for modern turntables and cassette decks. We thought it was odd, and wasteful.

Dream:

With H in a city of some sort. Underground? Looks dirty and rusty. Waiting for this team of people to fit some modular concrete block things, with huge power cables coming out the back. Really heavy-duty looking stuff.

Someone shows up? Or there's a nun, but she's actually a shape-shifter. Turns into a black guy that looks like Zimos or Ruby Rod. He then pulls up two high calibre sawn-off shotguns. He shoots a bunch of people from this team and there's a small panic of sorts. Then more people come down from a ramp on the opposite side from where I was. The shape-shifter pretends to be one of them, but doesn't transform? And then he runs up the ramp to get away. Me and H follow.

H's van is up here, outside. It's night time and fairly dark, but there are street lights. We want to help the shape-shifter escape and grab him, trying to get him in the van. He doesn't want to get in though, and transforms into a white tiger, running off. We follow him closely, to a cake shop. He goes in and morphs into a chef but the other woman following him with the intent of catching him doesn't notice.

We then confront him, stopping him from getting away from us and ask him to come with us, reassuring him about safety.

Then H is no longer H and is a mix of Gibbs, Auron and Riddick, and then I'm not there anymore. There's a cut and I see a scene of telepathic dialogue between the shape-shifter and the other character. The shape-shifter mentions his "fury" and the other character asks the shifter if they know anything about his "Furya".

---

No notes, maybe some later.

I was in a haunted house with my two sisters and Lizzie. There was this evil spirit that we ended up defeating. I remember feeling really spooked out. Eventually the house was more of an attraction or ride, there was a line up to the top of this broken and crooked house. There was a girl with short hair and an all fur outfit near me in line. She asked me if I was on a website and I said yes even though I didn't know what it was. She walks down the line towards the exit and someone tells me the website was actually a dating website. I tell the line I like Lizzie. The attraction was some sort of mine cart ride. I'm now on the outside of this crooked house and it's on the bank of a small river. People are flowing down this river. The crooked house eventually falls apart. I'm now floating down the river with moo and mason. It opens up into a larger river which led into this moat surrounding a patch of grass that was supposed to be a stage. We had the idea that a DJ was going to come out and perform. I saw a few of my brothers there in a group as well.

I am somewhere outside, by a fairly wide and deep seeming river and what looks like an old, overgrown stone bridge. I think I am somehow above the water and under the bridge, moving forward. Now, I am either under the water or envisioning the sensation of myself under the water. It feels very real, and I seem to be on my back and drowning. I submit to it (I think it’s supposed to be like I’m laying on my back in bed and feeling the sensation of falling asleep).




I am downtown (it looks slightly different - I am on more of a grassy hillside with walking paths) and it is very crowded. The paths are all filled and everyone is walking very slowly. I get irritated and go around them, walking on the grass uphill.

I have arrived in a green area shaded by trees. It seems that I’m traveling somewhere, and this is a stop along the way. The dream doesn’t make it explicit, but this seems to be the Czech countryside in the early 20th century – more or less.

Gradually, other people arrive. I converse with a woman there as we wait. A couple large dogs arrive as well and are running around getting in people’s way. I order them to sit, figuring that they’ve just run here ahead of their masters, who won’t be far behind. They obey. One of them lies down, then rolls over on its back, obviously looking to get pet.

The car arrives – a distinctly old-fashioned one. (Although there is some uncertainty there, as if the dream can’t quite decide on what sort of vehicle it should be. They all tend to be more or less interchangeable in my dreams.) There isn’t enough room in the car for everybody, but since I was there first, I get to be on its first trip. The woman I was talking to has to wait for its next one.

I look around as we ride. The man next to me in the backseat is choosing the music that plays in the car via something rather like a touch-screen tablet framed in brown leather – much more aesthetic than the modern ones, I think to myself. Out the window, I see a turquoise river pouring over an oddly shaped stone formation into a lake – a place I’ve seen pictures of before but never visited. I turn around to continue to look through the back window as we drive by.

I’m aware, as I look around, that in the not-so-distant future this area will be devastated by war. It adds a poignancy to being here in this beautiful place.

The train – sure enough, it’s decided it would rather be a train now – approaches a platform, stopping under a curved wooden roof from which flowering vines hang down. An invasive species, I note. Parasitic to boot. But quite pretty, and so you can understand why people let it grow like this. In the future, there will be more of a push against it – but not so much here as in other places. A brief image comes to me of the future, of its yellow flowers filled with ash.

It now seems as if the woman from before is on the train too, and along with another passenger, we continue our conversation.

When I woke up, I remembered the following melody:




I don’t think it was actually playing during any part of the dream – my impression is that it was connected to it somehow but happening on a different level of awareness. I find it rather odd that it’s in C# major since that’s not a key I ordinarily have much to do with. Maybe I waited too long before transcribing it and my pitch memory was off? Or maybe it was just in C# major.

-31/1/20

I am at Mom’s house. I step outside and it feels like it’s the middle of the night, though it is not extremely dark. I can see frost and my breath, but I do not feel cold even though I’m not even wearing shoes or a shirt. When I’m walking back up to the house, I notice a car pulling up. At first I think it’s Ryan’s truck. When I get inside, I notice Mom is up and making food. I either ask or just find out that it is one of her guy friends outside. She ends up going out and leaving with him.




I am by the river. It is very full, as if flooded. It goes up to almost the top of the arches on a stone bridge, upon which people are jumping in from. I notice an older couple, completely nude. I notice the man’s penis, short but thicker, slightly standing out from his pubic hair.

Morning of December 10, 2019. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,349-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



My mother and I were to get off the bus in Northside La Crosse in the afternoon. There is a distraction, and we remain en route to Southside La Crosse. My mother is annoyed (though this is illogical, as she seems more aware than I am in this dream and should have been aware of an upcoming bus stop).

My non-lucid dream has robbed me of my identity, which is typical. There is no recall of my mother dying in 2002 and no recall of any factor in my life since the 1980s, and yet my dream self feels perhaps 40 years old. Ultimately, this is not deliberate in a specific sense, but a result of incidental synaptic gating. However, synaptic gating works in a way to avoid a valid waking-life recall until the final gating factor with full consciousness. My non-lucid dreams are also the opposite of waking-life correlation (unless prescient or transpersonal). The trip from Northside La Crosse to Southside La Crosse would be typical in real life, as we already lived in Northside La Crosse, so my dream’s situation is ridiculous, that is, the direct opposite of the truth.

My dream’s induction is all about imaginary proprioception. When I try to get off the bus from its right, even though other passengers get off (including my mother), I only see a small opening, about two-thirds the size needed. This event is the wall mediation factor (that occurs throughout every sleep cycle). It indicates that I cannot move my physical body as I sleep (and although my waking orientation is usually to the right as I sleep on my left side, there is an additional factor here, explained later). I complain to the driver that I cannot get off the bus (either move my real body or yet correlate my imaginary dream body with my dream self’s perception). Another opening appears to the left of the first, about where real bus doors would be in America. It is more like a door, but irregular, still not big enough for me to get off the bus. I become slightly more dream-cognizant and teleport to where my mother is standing, near a group of people. We are at the post office (potential for enigmatic space or liminal space communication).

I start complaining about having lost my bag of books (cognitive arousal). I consider someone else might have taken them. My mother informs me that they are near where she is standing. Although I pick them up, this focus vanishes in the next scene.

We have to go back to Northside La Crosse, our original destination. I decide to go in a particular direction (that is fictitious). I instinctually summon water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation). A beautiful river is on our right as we walk along a narrow road as my dream vivifies. We reach an area where we need to go up a slope. (This feature stems from the summoning of imaginary proprioception and vestibular system correlation that occurs in all longer dreams at one point or another, though I often use a staircase.) My dreaming experience vivifies again, just on the threshold of lucidity. However, I consider my mother will not be able to ascend the slope, so my cognizance (and imaginary physicality) decreases.

We somehow end up back near the La Crosse post office. A bus goes by, stopping briefly at an intersection (RAS autosymbolism of synaptic gating). This time, the doors are on the left and appear correct (big enough to get on and off the bus). I call out to my mother, “This is how buses should be.” (Why did I say this? Because with the synaptic gating event, I attain a subliminal recall that only buses in Australia look like this. However, I am still not aware of my true identity or the recall I live in Australia in real life.)

In the final scene, my mother boards a bus, saying it is the one we should take (back to Northside La Crosse), though I have my doubts. When we are on the bus, all I see are male and female students (all wearing the same uniforms as in an Australian school) from about sixth to eighth grades. I am uncertain if this is where we should be. This final synaptic gating event implies increasing cognizance (students going to school). Even though the students are Australian, I am not conscious until the last process. In hot weather, achieving consciousness (from the dream state) is more sluggish, validated by neuroscience.

---

I am alone and walking up the stairs into a house or apartment near the river. The staircase is wide and tall, bending once at a 90 degree angle. The interior seems to be a tint of pink and looks fairly but not completely modern. In this large, open room there is an almost floor-to-ceiling window with a view of the river. Now, Mairin walks in. At first she doesn’t pay any attention to me, but then she ends up saying hi. A fairly large group now comes in, and I think they must be her family. I stand here and talk to her for a bit. I think either this is her place or she’s staying here.




I am wading in the river in a section that seems to be downtown. I near the other bank and see a woman approaching that seems to be homeless. I’m not sure if she is benevolent or not, but I turn around anyway. Wading back to the other side, all I can notice is that the river is full of dirty, shitty clothes and other debris. At one point it is all that surrounds me, and I become hyper aware and acutely panicky. I get a profound urge to move out of this city.




I think I’m at Dad’s house. I need to go somewhere, but it is snowing very hard. My car is either parked in the driveway or off to the side, and it’s almost completely covered in snow.

I am outside somewhere with Sage. We are on the bank of a wide and seemingly shallow yet rapidly flowing river. It’s width (~50ft?) is broken up by protruding rocks and the resulting rapids. I think we are trying to cross it but end up coming back, because we never do get to the other side. When I attempt, the water reaches up to my lower thighs. Despite the depth, the strong current makes each step a task. Back on the bank, Sage is casually talking about some gecko club she’s created. I think she’s trying to get me to join. I ask what it entails, and it seems like a lot for the low monthly payment. I’m just not sure I’m that into geckos. Dad is now here and sort of ridiculing us for trying to cross this river. He doesn’t seem to appreciate our trying.