All DJ Entries

Non-dream stuff - Woke up about 3 times through the morning, between 8:20, the time for my alarm, then at 9 something then at 10:20. Some long-ish dreams but think they've fragmented.

---

Fragment 1:
At a square or cathedral. There with partner (H), something to do with pipe organs.

Then outside, at the square. Nice cobbles and layout. Remember meeting up with my parents and having them ask why I didn't have a stand here selling old coins; I remember explaining that I'd worked out that the cost to make them look new, plus the cost to rent the space, plus other things I don't remember now, meant that it was far too expensive and not worth it at all. I also remember explaining that I didn't have nearly enough coins to make it worthwhile.

Then at some version of my childhood home with my parents. At the rear balcony of the flat. Things look blocky like a voxel game. I remember blue leaves and yellow logs. We were on the 6th or 7th floor, judging by the height.

Fragment 2:
A friend of ours, M, was buying crap again.

Fragment 3:
At some sort of flat. Don't remember what lead up to this scene anymore.

There was a tongue and lips art sculpture thing on a wall. Then it became a bit more real and I then remember a giant furry outside the flat, peeking in. I remember the fur was white and the eyes were blue. I think it was a girl and she said something.

---

Some notes:

• The appearance of my parents and the questions about the "coin stand", has to do with how they often want me to try and do something else, since they are concerned I won't be able to support myself. This type of appearance in a dream is perhaps validating their concerns in part. When I was awake in bed I remember thinking about carpentry again.
• Being at the cathedral with H seems to be merely a reflection of recent events, as I help H with pipe organ work.
• Both the first and the third dreams were a lot longer, and I woke up sweating with the third dream; this has been happening a few times recently where I wake up sweating at about 10:20 with vivid-ish dreams. Generally being too hot is what makes the dreams vivid, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately it also means my mind is a bit more active when I'm actually awake, making it easier to forget details.

Dream - Lucid

I decided after I woke up from this dream to jot it down in my phone so as to keep it fresh in my memory, and it worked great. I remember more of this dream than I have of any dream in quite some time.

The setting was some sort of school. We were in a classroom, and it was daytime outside. I was not a participant in this dream, but an observer. I watched this mentally-challenged kid of maybe 19-23 years of age interact with his beautiful girlfriend, the sister of a girl I knew IWL who passed away in a car accident in 2012. He was wearing a suit or tuxedo, had dark brown, short hair, and he spoke and acted slowly. The sister, Liz, loved this boy just as much as he loved her. I could see and feel how much they loved each other. The love they had was so pure, something of a rarity to be sure. I saw them together in the classroom, just sitting with one another. The boy was going to ask Liz to marry him.

Then, I saw this scene of the boy's dad teaching him how to have sex? Like the boy was on top of his dad, but it was understood by me that this was not meant to be perverted at all by either the dad or the boy. I assumed he was teaching him so he would know when the time came with Liz. This was more like a flash back, as I understood that Liz and the boy had already had sex.

Liz thought she might look fat or pregnant. This part was in my notes and I remember it, but not much about it.

There was a little more involving the boy and Liz, but I can't remember details.

Then, dream shift. I'm in a stand up shower stall with my husband. It was in a public place, but I'm not sure what kind. I looked in the full-length mirror in the shower and I was wearing a long maxi skirt and a mid-drift top. The color scheme of both was red and blue. Looking at myself while facing the mirror, my hips looked a little wider, but my tummy looked flat. Turning to the side, I could see that I looked fat or pregnant. I felt slightly exposed and uncomfortable in the outfit, as I still have baby weight on me. I wasn't sure why I was wearing a mid-drift.

Then, we were under the running water in the shower, naked. I was washing Dallas's back with my loofah. He was then lying face-down on the shower floor, and I continued to wash his back. A college-aged black girl with glasses then walked in the shower, saw us, and turned around, apologizing. She then noticed the time and said
"Oh, it's only 10:45!"
She then left the room. I guess we had until 11am to shower or something.

So In real life I got up with my boyfriend to see him off to work since he goes to work early. I laid back down and fell asleep. We've been together over a year and a half. We are in a very happy relationship. He doesn't text other girls and had no contact with ex's.

Most of my dream was me wandering around my old Highschool. Not much went on. Then I started hearing my boyfriends voice. Everything was druggy and blurry as if I was actually waking up from my dream. I opened my eyes to see my boyfriend getting out of his work clothes and into some nice new clothes I hadn't seen before. I popped up out of bed and followed him out to the work truck where I got in the passenger side. We started having sex but he was still driving. I asked him why he was dressed up and not in his work clothes. Immediately he gavee this 'I don't want to tell you look.' I called my boyfriend's name and he told me he's going to his Highschool friends wedding. A girls wedding. I was fine with that. I was like "that's sweet! What time is it? I don't have to work until the evening." Again that look.

"There's more?"

"I don't want to tell you. You'll get mad."

I stopped sex and grabbed his penis with my hand pulling it out of me.

"I'm already getting mad. Tell me or I'm going to assume the worst. Are you going with a girl?"

His silence and facial expression answered that question.

"Okay." Trying to stay calm. "That's fine. Then why can't your wife (in real life we call each other husband and wife as we are planning on getting married in a year and a half) come with you and this 'girl'?"

"<my name> it's complicated. There's nothing going on between us. It's just we were all best of friends in Highschool and she wanted to go with me."

"Best of friends? Why haven't you ever talked about Either of them with me in the past two years we've been together? You talk about your Highschool buddies all the time. Is this girl an Ex or something?"

"....it was a long time ago. I promise nothing is going on."

We drive up a hill that is super steep and narrow.

"This isn't the way to the wedding." I told him cause I knew somehow. I knew on the other side was only a drop down, but there might be a space to turn around. Instead my bf backs up and we fall of the cliff and land on all four wheels back on the ground. We continue driving.

"So let me get this straight. You and your ex are going to a wedding and I'm not invited?"

"She asked for it just to be the two of us. It is was our thing in Highschool."
I'm furious and considering calling someone to pick me up. Now we are walking. Near houses with cats and little kids playing.

"Angel I promise nothing is going on. It's all going to be okay."

"Oh yes. It's going to be." Picks up a box of stuff and throws it behind me. "Perfectly okay. No I'm not upset at all that the LOVE OF MY LIFE is choosing to please an ex over his FUTURE WIFE." Dripping with sarcasm. Going through a tight spaces. A family eating dinner. Bf accidentally drives over kids bike.

"Way to go hon. You ran over a kids bike."

"It's because I'm paying too much attention listening to you bite my ear off."

Now we are walking in the middle of playing children. My bf is pushing a stroller and I am walking up a barren mountain a little in front of him.

"You know what... That's fine. Have fun with your ex." He calls my name in a tone that makes me feel like I'm being over the top, but I'm so mad I can't calm down.

"This is normal. People go to weddings together all the time. It doesn't mean anything."

I don't say anything and keep walking up the hill trying not to cry. I start asking myself if it really is normal and my way of life is the one that's not normal, but I keep walking.

This is my fourth night of remembering dreams in a row! hip hip hooray
-I wrote in my daily Waking Journal last night. I don't know if that's what's helping me or if I'm just naturally getting better at recalling dreams.

I was in a gay relationship with an old friend, S. We only went out once and I don't think we ever kissed or anything. Before that, I told AP I was gay and she was very accepting. But I wasn't actually gay, I was just pretending to be in a relationship with this girl because I couldn't find the right guy. S was actually really nice and I think she really liked me.

It had been quite awhile since we first went out and I hadn't really talked to her since. I felt kind of bad about that. We both had these mini journals that we would write in. I found a pencil in my closet that looked like it was from kindergarten. But then I looked at the date and it said 1998 and I thought no, I was older than that back then(but now that I think about it, I was actually 6 years old back then, kindergarten age). Anyways, I sneaked a peek at S;s journal and it mentioned how she was feeling lonely, probably because I wasn't talking to her. So I took the pencil and wrote something in my journal, like that I did care about her, and drew flowers by it.

Sometime in between this dream, I was with my sister and it was Christmas Day(it IS Christmas Day!) in the morning. The parents had gone for a bike ride and we were waiting to open presents so we went to Starbucks. It was an outdoor Starbucks and it was very crowded. While waiting in line, Steph said she was going to get a chocolate frapp with double chocolate syrup and whip cream(or something like that). She told me that she ordered a book on ebay with all the secret Starbucks recipes you could order.

Then it went back to the S dream. I was meeting S for a date and I have my drink in hand, which was some kind of frapp. We were walking towards each other on each side of these benches that had overgrown grass and flowers by them. It was kind of a pretty scene. I woke up before I could sit down.

I woke up with the song "Holland Road" by Mumford and Sons playing in my head. The "ahh ahh ah ahhh... if you believe in me I'll still believe" part was playing.

Merry Christmas!

[B]The dream[/B]
It was just a normal very realistic non-lucid dream,i saw myself walking down the neighborhood allies leading to my old mid-school...the one that gave me new feelings i would never forget for my entire life.
in the way i was meeting the normal people i meet casually in my way: the butcher shop owner,the supermarket guy,the auto parts vendor,the dealership lady...ect.

So entering the school i kinda gasped the old memories of me being beaten by bullies,doing rushtime homework,preparing school projects...when i decided to leave the school after a nice vivid talk with the old school principal.

Heading down home i had a feeling that someone was watching me,it felt like it was a cold 5PM atmosphere where you get scared by the red clouds and cold breezes but the feeling kept haunting me,i was looking repeatedly behind me and no one was there until i reached home where i saw someone peeking a look at me at the end of the corner...i rushed toward it thinking it might be someone i know...but i was far beyond that.

[B]There she is![/B]
What i found almost gave me a dream heart attack but it felt so real that my heart still kept racing when i woke up and i couldn't talk:the silky brown hair and the white unforgettable skin with small eyes and round face...the deep red lips and the pink/black themed outfit literally made me shake even though it was the young version of her: my 1st crush.

[B]What happened...[/B]
In real life back 4 years ago:she was my everyday enjoyment that drove me to reach a higher levels of education because it may looked like an uneducated any-guy type of girls to the other i had my faith that she was not and she realized it! thats what made what we have so special to the point of making private english sessions and trading relatively expensive chocolates everyday (young people stupidity).

But the thing is i thought one day that i might be more than a friend to her and i should take it a step futher...so i decided to ask her out: that moment i saw happiness in her eyes but somehow she hesitated and discussed it with her girl-friends and gave her a bad image about me so she refused...

i cannot forget the feelings that opened up inside me like a lion just got woken up by a zebra: all the muscles in my body got tensioned and i raged to the class breaking everything brutally but eventually someone stopped me and it didn't end well in the principal office.
i never saw her since then and only once 5 months ago which brought up again the same feeling.

[B]A tendre kiss[/B]
back to the dream: i couldn't move thinking that i might rage and just injure her but at the same time something urged me to break every single bone of her body to avnege what she did to me...she was just staring at me with a simple smie while i was boiling in the inside.

after what it felt like forever she suddenly gave me a kiss on the cheek which felt so warm it instantly cooled me down and said: thank you! and goodbye!

i woke up sweating like a fountain and a racing heart....

Today I tried to be more conscious about my dream and tried a few new things. For more detail, visit my workbook

Episode 1

I am in a bar or something, it really looks old, maybe medieval or something. There were some Vikings in it, or some warriors or something. It was really strange. The scenery was so strange n bizarre, that I got conscious about this silliness. I was like: Yeah what ever, this is really silly but I might as well play the game and surrender to this craziness.
There was a guy talking to me. He wanted to talk to a person in the bar, but he couldn't for one reason or another. I said:

- Hey man, you have to talk here really "special", so that it works.

I shouted to a viking wearing a strange mask made of steal. I don't recall exactly what I talked (I recalled this early in the morning half asleep) but I was talking really old-fashioned English, insulting him, talking really ... like Conan the Warrior lol.

The conversation got to the point where the Viking insulted the guy I talked to at the beginning. He said that he had stolen his "magic mirror sword", which broke into 7 pieces. Then he corrected him self, he was remembering that someone else stole it and hide it at several places around. We should go and look for it or we got in some "trouble where would rather die at the place instead of waiting till it's over" (whatever he meant by it).

Still buying the strangeness of the scenery I went out of the bar.

But something changed. The "feeling of surrealness" I had vanished a bit, so that I wasn't doing things to consciously.

I was standing in a mall again. I still searched for the pieces of this mirror sword. I wanted to go to the third floor, but instead to take the stairs or the elevator, I took some kind of carousel. I remember in detail how it looked like.

Imagine those inflatable castle for kids where they jump in. Imagine it 30 meters (33 yards) long and wide, and 6 meters (19 feet) high. It was shaped like a vulcano. On every side there were 6 tunnels leading to the top. In each tunnel there was some kind of moving floor. There was also a rope in it to grip yourself in it. The tunnels were really narrow, so that only a small kid could get inside.

I didn't think that much about it and went into one tunnel. Instead of leading me to top of the volcano, it took me to the 3 floor. This makes logically speaking no sense at all.

So I could simply go on looking for the pieces. I realized I had some machine on my back, which had some wires. those wires directly lead into my spine. I feel how they give me electric impulses. I'm in pain and try to get ride of it.
So I go into a restaurant in this mall. I "hang my back up on the hat stand". I struggle to get it off (the wires and stuff). It takes really long. In the meantime there comes a waiter. He's really old. He asks me what I'm doing here and if he could help me. I explain to him the situation and he leaves.

Suddenly there comes a girl I know which I find really annoying. I don't like her at all, cause she's always talking stupidly about things and she is a really awkward person. I get pissed off.

She says:

- Oh hi there. You know what? We got teamed up to find those things you are looking for. I searched everywhere but couldn't find it. I don't even know what we would look for. You know, this organization of the university is really shitty.

She kept on talking I got really angry about it. Why me? Why now? Please leave me alone ...

There came another team made of three people I know also. I don't like them either, because they think they are at the top of everything. They are ripping the plants out of the pots to look inside if they don't find anything.

- Haha, the stupidest of the three said, I bet nobody got this idea!

But they don't find any. I'm feeling really helpless. I'l teamed up with a bimbo, I have wires attached to my bag and I don't have found any piece.

My "team-mate" isn't there anymore and I manage finally to get the wires of. I feel a bit relieved and move around the mall. I go to some shops to find the pieces. But I don't find anything. I lose interest of the search which started in an awesome way.

I meet again the bimbo. She is annoyed and keeps on talking and talking, but I don't listen to her. She finishes speaking finally.
I'm reacting in typical Yossarian-fashioned way. I lift my thumb over my shoulder and say to her with an harsh and uncaring face: Screw!
She looks at me and doesn't understand what I am talking about. I emphasize it more:

- Eehhh, I don't care!

She looks really angry than sad. She doesn't know what to say, so she says nothing and finally leaves me the fuck alone.

I walk away and leaving her alone.

I can't recall what happened next. I quickly wrote some taglines when I woke up after this first dream.

I recall something about being in a garden or something, I have a broken leg and I'm walking with crutches. My brother is in a roll-chair and we have some kind of argument

Episode 3

Why episode 3? Well, in between the 2 episodes, there should be an other dream sequence. But after I woke up from it, I forgot to write it down

Anyway, I don't recall it that great as my first dream sequence. I remember a lot of fragments which I can't match together. There was also a brief lucid moment (I think), but It was more like a daydream after I woke up.

a) I'm in a water fun park. A few friends of mine are there also. We are playing cards, but i can't remember where we played. I think it was on a raft or something. There came two other guys who looked like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They had "normal" voices and were talking, like the rest of us in Icelandic. They took a lot of space on the raft, so that I had to make place so that I nearly well of it.

b) I'm a background dancer of a singer. It is on the same place as before. I look really different. It's like I was in another body or something. I was dancing around really stupidly.

c) I and a few friends of mine are waiting for something. i don't know what we were waiting for. I recall that there was something about a guy named Carlos, that we didn't know/or made up to annoy people.

d) That's the part where I had some day-dream-ish experience

We are still at the same place as before (the Carlos part). It was a grand square. Around were some old houses. The sky looked gray. It looked like I was in Brussels once again.

We are talking about our lives and how strange and stupid they seemed at times. There was a big pannel in the middle, which showed the one standing in front of, which "statistics" in his life happened and in what way they were linked to another. Teere were 3 spaces on it where I could read:

Relationship status:
Age:
Greatest Regrett:

One after another we stood in front of it to find it out. I discovered that I was in a relationship with one of the girls. My best friend had the same discovery. The two of them were talking about it and how strange all this episode was.

This puzzled me a lot. Like really alot. I tried to recall, when I was in a relationship with her. In that waterpark? NO, impossible. Where else? I couldn't recall it all. I was feeling really strange. I tried again to recall. But I couldn't. and it really bothered me. I recalled that I had a relationship, but not with her, but with my ex. But this was history; It could only be after this. But I couldn't still recall.
In the mean time, the scenery changed completely white. there was nothing around me. It appeared to me that there was no sound, no time, no space. I tried to recall, but couldn't

I woke up and I was really lost. I had one sentence stuck in my head. It was about that supposed relationship. It was a sarcastic sentence about her: "What an impression do you have made! "

I left school at the end of May. I met this boy 2 years ago at school, we didn't have a close relationship but we were friends. He had a personality that somehow made me smile he was funny and caring and had a flirty side that made me feel special. I have a boyfriend and have been with him for the same amount of time that I have known this other boy. On the last day the other boy gave me a cuddle and that was it. But I keep dreaming about him!

Dream1: we were talking at school, he sat on the edge of a table I was stood infront of him and he pulled me onto his lap. This somewhat felt normal in my dream. I woke up and felt really guilty.

Dream2: the boy was walking me home from school. This never happened in real life. The school didn't look like my school and the location wasn't the same. He was holding my hand and he suddenly stopped swung me around and kissed me passionately we continued to walk lips still attached. I looked at the time said I had to go, he embraced me and gave me another kiss and I ran away. And again this seemed normal. I woke up and again felt guilty and confused.

Last nights dream: it was a party. Not sure what the party was for. But it was at school. Not my school again. I was doing the buffet in the kitchen as the activity started. I was dressed in leggings and a white and black collared top and white converse. Everyone else was wearing dresses and a suit.

The party was quiet, I walked out of the kitchen to see what was going on. Everyone is just sitting at tables in.silence. Then the other boy came running up to me, picked me up and was spinning me around he kept moving around the room, still spinning. All of a sudden he dropped me. I had a cut on my head and a bruise on my knee. I walked into the main.building of the school as if nothing happened.

I was in a library then people turned up next to me and I didn't recognize anyone. A man then turned up and chased us out the room I ran to the boy and he caught me in his arms. I turn around and the man chasing us was gone. I walked away from the boy. He grabbed my arm and said 'let me be beside you' I nodded and continued to walked.

Ended up back in the library because I left something in there. I opened the door and the library was destroyed, books and shelves everywhere. I walked into the room and clambered over the mess the boy held out his hand to support my balance. I found it but the books again tumbles and fall on me. He rushed over and pulled me out. We used the books that were hanging out of shelves as stairs to reach an air vent and crawled through it. The boy went first and the suddenly stopped while crawling through he looked into my eyes and kisses me. I woke up this morning and am becoming more and more confused.

What does.it mean? I used.to have a.crush on him 5 years ago. Are the feelings still there? Because I love my boyfriend..

I've just had a dream, that I cheated on my boyfriend. This concerns me, even though my boyfriend and I have only been dating for a short time (maybe a few months).
This wasn't sexual, and I cannot remember the full dream. It was quite odd, because the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, I've never talked to. He's in one of my college courses, and I see him everyday, we even live streets apart. We've never talked, or anything.
This guy, picks me up in his car. Though I don't quite remember everything that was said beforehand, he kisses me, and I pull him in for another. He then said "that settles it then," while grabbing my hand. I tell him of my boyfriend at this point, saying that I just couldn't do this.
The guy then goes quiet, but asks "How could you be in love with him, when.." And with that my dream abruptly ends...
What is my subconscious trying to tell me?
I would never cheat in my life. Being cheated on before myself, I could never bring myself to do so. I do find the guy attractive, but even still, his personality seems quite plain and boring, and have never had any thoughts of pursuing the man.

I'm having very intresting dreams at the time being, but not so much recall. So I decided to post one of my key-dreams from couple of years back. This really did change something in me.

So this dream was played in two acts. They both were long and complex.. but I remember the first act only vaguely.


APOCALYPTIC PARTY AND MENTAL HOSPITAL

ACT I - The Party

I was at this underground festival wich I did partisipate in wakig life many years ago (when it did happen I was in delusional state so the experience there was quite psychedelic also in real life). The parties in dream were parties of apocalypse. All kind freaky stuff happened but in a somewhat "normal" way. I was acting as a ringmaster and tried to keep the spirit up, help people to find their way there and help the world to change. I was wearing tailcoat and top hat (I own over 100 year old tailcoat and did have over 150 years old top hat in waking life). At one point I slipped and fell into deep woodstocklike mud pit and got a moment humblening. I remember thinking how on earth I can get these clothes clean, how much it will cost and is it even possible etc.

After that and also scattered around the I act I tried to contact people (spent much time in phone etc) so that they would know that parties are happening and get there. I moved in dreamlike manner across the communication lines. In one point I had moved to the town where I live in waking life and I was in phone booth talking to someone in festival. He/she told my that one person I know had arrived to the festival. In the waking version of those festival he wasn't there and I remembered that. It came clear to me that he has arrived from present to parties that were in past. It was absolutly clear in dream that this was what had happened. I became thrilled that things were finally working and the first act ended.

ACT II - The Sanitarium

I found myself at the mental hospital. I was patient there (I've been hospitalized iwl). My girlfriend from that time came to visit me. I said to her that let's go to my room so that we can be in peace. So we get to this room and in the back of the room is another door that hasn't been there. We go through the door and after a corridor we come to this room full of mirrors and old paintings. Paintings are somewhat romantic but also impressionistic. All of them symbolise some theme or situation in intimate relationship. Situations are universal and about the crisis, glings, disconent, frustration and situations you end up reliving from time to time (loops). We deside to go deeper into this knowing that they are only loops. So we go deeper this time travelling through mirrors and paintings. Every time we go through one we end up to act the situation in our life, but in some level we are lucid that this is what we have to do to get to the end of this road. After every passage we end up to new room full of, yes, paintigs and mirrors.

Then we get to this one painting. It's quite small and from 18?? I think. It's a holiday and tourist town in French normandy. There are houses that are cafeterias, inns and restaurants. There is a promande and in the side of it a low wall, by the wal there is stairs that lead to beach. In the middle of promenade there is a phone booth (not realistical at that period of time) and in the phone booth there is a gentleman talking to phone. He is wearing top hat and tail coat. After a decent distance there is a woman waiting for her man. She is leaning to her umberella. We decide to go through this painting. We end up to relive many symbolically analogous sitution from our relationship. In those situations either one of us is talking on a phone or using computer. The other one is jealous for attention that other is giving to outside world and at the same time hoping that he/she could be on computer/phone conncting to outside world. These scene goes on too long. The whole labyrinth that we have travelled inside the sanitarium collapses and we are back in my room. My girlfriend is shouting at me for some obscure reason that I don't understand. She doesn't have any memories of us travelling in that maze of realtionship. She leaves from the room and bangs door loudly.

I end up wandering around the sanitarium. Group of three or four patient come to talk to me. One of them woman, other are men. They want me to go to a room where some of them live. I'm cautious cause you never know how to trust other looneys but in the end I decide to follow them. So I get to this room and they start to talk to me very entusiastically. They have difficulties to remember not to talk at the same time. They tell me stories and try to make me remeber things that I have blocked out. Their message is this: they are group of reality revolutionaries (not the kind that want to rebel against reality but the kind that want to fight for new, better, reality. In fact I'm one of them. We have done many missions together before. There are many more of us. Some of us (like me) don't remember this.
As the story goes on I start to remember bits and bits. And as I remember their appereances start to change. I get to see glimbses who they really are. Some fantastical features in their looks.

After they have downloaded this information to me they say that it's a time of next strike. It's now. So we go to common areas of department, and strike starts. It is a fasion show. So the nurses happen to be caring and motherlike and have allowed the patient to keep little fun. Patients get to arrange fasion show and the nurses are sitting in the audience. Everybody is dressed in blankets and pillowcases and stuff that is avaible. My comrades ask me to sit on a ground and hold a flashlight. So I sit in lotus possition and held the lamp like a torch. I start to get tired and doze off. As I start to get closer to dream (in a dream) I see glimbses of my fellow model patients inner shelves. Not just how they are but who they experience to be. Then I fell asleep.

I wake up to this large dog licking my neck and get scared. Wait a minute. It's not a dog but a dragonlike being whose tail is around my neck. And it stays there. I'm still among the models/patients and the nurses are watching but this freaking dragon stays there and freaking nurses are staring right into it. So I realise that reality is quite leaking. Divine intervention (lights and stuff) put this large book into my lap. The books is about cracking the code of reality. I open it from random spread. The other page has this chart about history: years, periods, rulers and things. The other page has a map of time were every time periods are not separeted by time but by geographic distances. There is island called 1960's and a city called French revolution with suburbs that are like American independence war and other too. Large nation called Archaic and everything else. When I read the both pages simultaniosly the timeline of world starts to collapse to a one hypermoment where everything is simultaniosly.

I open the book from another spread. It talks about multidimensional masters that have reached the fifth dimension and effect the world from there by telling stories. They use codenames to let the awake people know what's the story about. There are names of waking world playwrights, songwriters, comic writers, book authors, poets and other. Code opens up who they really are, who tell the same story, what other aliasses those master use in waking world. As I read this code the optional storylines start to collapse in one hyperstory with all possibilities. I got this strong sensation that now the reality is really open. Mental hospital has mostly faded away. We (and there are many of us now) desided to make one last effort to really crack reality up.

(this part is very hazy.. so I don't even remember how I experienced the last effort. Was it a party, orgy, battle, chessgame or what.. maybe all at once)

We win (kind of). Reality has changed into Orwellian Nazi Germany where our side wears uniforms of SS officers. Some of as start losing their memories and act like their roles. I'm alarmed and depressed. Something must be done. I pick up a piece of paper and start writing. Asking questions from remaining resistance about what should we do. After I've written those things the letters reshape into answers and suggestions. They so me this one sigil that I remember from somewhere and suggest that maybe we should use it. I think for a moment and then agree. I use the sigil and the dream collapses. Error message appears in English (it's not my native tongue). I'm not sure was it a mental or visual text. It says:

FUNNY THING JUST HAPPENED
THERE IS NO FANTASY THAT HISTORY HAS FOREWARNED US
YOU HAVE TO CONSTRACT EVERY PARSEC OF STORY YOURSELF

I wake up and have this surrealistic feeling for the next couple of days

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

23:00 GMT – sleep (huge headache, after 25h of no sleep and jet lag - supposed to be 7 am)

Japanese house
On a big house with sliding doors like Japanese houses. I’m worried because I left the garage door open. Then... forgot the rest.

3:30 GMT

Make up sex
My friend Zilla and her new boyfriend are not so happy together, but she is trying reconciliation, so I leave them both in a room, expecting there will be make up sex, but when I come back later on, the guy is leaving with an angry face, so I assume it didn’t work. He had actually left her for good. Then I go inside the room expecting to find her there and give her some encouragement, but i instantly step on a condom box still closed. When I get up again I see another couple lying in bed and they look totally surprised at me like “WTF are you doing here?”.

Sexy boss
Sitting at the end of some large office meeting table, on the boss’ chair and all my employees gathered around, so I figure out I'm the boss. But instead of making some speech about workplans and deadlines, I just opened a box I had in front of me on the table and took out some lingerie from the box and asked my employees what they thought about it – If it was too sexy? Too revealing? Should I wear it?

6:00 GMT – wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

21:30 GMT+9 – sleep

My biggest fear
On some strange shop (like some Japanese shops I’ve been at) with really attractive cakes and sweets, but I couldn’t really tell if that’s what they were. Then a guy on the shop is taken down a corridor and told there’s a test to him. Behind a big door at the end of the corridor is the scariest thing that has ever haunted his dreams. In his case he says he used to play a game with his friends in which they’d hide and seek and the one seeking the others would incarnate a scary character they’d call the fog-man, a mythical creature that would take away the soul of the one found by him – and then this kid would replace the fog-man in his role. The man said he used to have nightmares with the real fog-man taking his soul. Then the people overseeing this test told this man that whatever he’d find behind that door would be his own mind’s creations and therefore if he was certain of that, they wouldn’t possibly harm him, but if he failed to recognise that... The door opened and out of it came a dense thick fog. He entered and the door was closed.
I also wanted to play. I opened the door and there was still fog but no signs of the man. The fog disappeared. I tried to think about what is that scares me the most and had this vague feeling of something unknown and scary coming out of the darkness and attacking me but before it would materialise I decided I was in the control of my mind and therefore no fear would take over. Then all the fog and light darkness dissipated and I found myself in an empty room with a mirror and a door. I positioned myself in front of the mirror, saw my reflexion. I was dressed in white and yellow and although I looked a bit strange it was still my normal look, no monstrous face or anything of the kind. I’m semi-lucid and I dance a little bit both to increase lucidity and test my image on the mirror. I manage to prolong lucidity but it is still weak in terms of control. Not sure about what to do I decide to summon all of the people I know through the door. Soon I start seeing people from my past, present acquaintances, family, “enemies”. I can’t tell if everyone is there, it would be impossible, but soon they start interacting with me.
I lose lucidity. I am with my aunt India and my friend Zilla. Zilla decides to call my old friend Mara, whom I don’t see since her wedding. Her brother answers the phone. Zilla doesn’t say a word and he gets upset. He hads the phone over to Mara in the hope the person will talk to her. She asks “who’s there?” and I can see both people on each side of the line now. I tell Zilla this is a stupid game and I don’t see the point of it. Mara then thinks she knows who can be and gets very worried. She says “don’t worry, I will come for you. I’ll help you.” Obviously she thought someone in distress was needing her help. I tell Zilla to please stop it and just say something on the phone!
Then I am engulfed by a lot more people I know and there’s this lady, who’s my opponent in my work and hates my guts, among them. When I see her I remember we were both at a same party some past time and we talked to each other when we were so drunk already and our hate transformed into attraction and we had kissed. I was wondering how could we still be mad at each other after that. We had been stripped down from our divergences and connected as human beings, but here we were still as enemies.
Then I’m outside in some big city with skyscrapers and neon lights. I enter a van and someone else is by my side. Zilla is on front seat by the side of the driver. She hands me over a synthesizer she bought but I already have other things on my lap I also bought and she feels angry with my refusal to take up more stuff.
Then on some kind of mall I see a lady doctor famous in my country who is giving an interview about birth and how women should embrace hospital methods instead of this trend of natural child birth at home, cause so much can go wrong and they need medication and blah-blah. I go to her and make a phenomenal speech to counterbalance – not radical, but very well balanced I refute her ideas that seem to approach giving birth as being seriously ill. Then my friend Zilla and others come with a more radical attitude and start making hate speech and mess up everything. I later ask why they did it and they said I sounded to compromising. I told them I had simply used skilful means to pass the message across without conflict. By then I have a group of followers and admirers but among this group there are a few who don’t understand my way of doing things and always create a fuss. I’m on some high room with view over some kind of inner court. People are down there celebrating the result of some football (soccer) game and I comment loudly about the frivolity of such celebration. They get upset. They accuse me of being peaceful and moderate to the outside but quite radical inside and that the radical activists that are around me just reinforce that I am a secret extremist. As I seek to be alone to digest such accusations, these two radical friends of mine follow me and I scream at them to leave me alone, that it is their fault people think such things of me. Walking down a street I encounter another guy that went to school with me. We talk and I conclude the big issue here to be solved is if I am becoming what my father said I would become or the opposite of that. Am I an extremist under disguise or am I really becoming moderate and if so, am I moderate in the sense my father preached (which resembled too much with conformity) or am I moderate due to wisdom and maturity? As I wander through these philosophical matters, I conclude, after all this dream sequence, that my biggest fear of all, is to become like my father or the person my father wants me to be.

03:00 GMT+9

Cat stapled
My cat is showing some discomfort. I cuddle him and find a staple on his belly. I take it off gently. My mom is upset and worried and I search for more. I find lots of staples on his skin. We don’t know how this happened and feel sorry for the poor fellow.

Friends and relationships
I’m in the middle of a crowd who’s watching a movie on an open air cinema. I am by the side of two old girl friends from school and all is fine until it starts raining. At first it’s ok, but my friends start complaining it’s raining too much and open an umbrella. Then not even that is enough and they want to leave. But I’m just fine. The rain is not really wetting me and I say it is just dream rain. Still they leave and I decide to go along. Didn’t go lucid.
Then sitting around a wooden rectangular table with my friends. One is Mara and she says her husband calls her names and I assume he is also violent with her. She asks for advice and I say she needs to get away from him, but she doesn’t want to. Then he also joins the table and I change subject but she says we can go on, that she doesn’t want to make it a secret. My other friend present doesn’t understand this, thinks he’ll get mad and beat her up later but I say maybe she wants to confront him but can’t do it alone, so we should help. He says he likes her, but she didn’t reveal to be the woman of his dreams and so he gets angry sometimes out of frustration. I ask him why doesn’t he simply leave her and go look for that dream woman? I say if my dream guy was Brad Pitt, I would go after him, no matter what and not beat some other guy for not being Brad Pitt. He feels embarrassed by seeing the ridiculous and we laugh together.
Then my boyfriend comes up and he insists on having sex immediately. I don’t think it is appropriate and also I feel like he wants to force me like a punishment for something. He drags me to some room and rips my clothes off but I get really upset with his attitude and I escape from him. Outside I meet this guy who I had a crush for in highschool. I am happy to see him and I follow him. He is climbing some steps to go inside a house. I go to. It’s like an antique shop but with rooms. I lie down on some sofa, my friend who was with me on the wooden table before is here now again and notices my interest in this guy. She says I should go for it right now but I feel bad, I just said no to my boyfriend. Then the guy comes to me and ask if I have some deodorant. I find that question completely dislocated but my friend says he is really into me and wants to be fragrant for me. I feel yuc!

06:00 GMT+9 – wake up